Social Life
For a number of foreigners
settling in Bangkok, particularly wives of expatriate executives, the
lack of established circles of friends and acquaintances turns out to be a
problem. It’s a problem that can easily be solved. There are many foreign
social clubs in Bangkok (many more for women than for men) where particularly
the house wives of foreign male expatriates can find friends of equal status as
well as something meaningful to do.
As the Australian-New
Zealand Women’s Group has put it in a book on Bangkok (which is full of
particularly good tips for foreign house wives of the upper social
strata): "It is customary to have domestic help in Thailand. Finding efficient staff can make a considerable difference to your family’s stay here. Do
not rush into this. Take time to learn what general practices are in Bangkok and to clarify your own needs. The American Women’s Club operates a Domestic
Registry... All A.W.C. servants have a valid Thai I.D. card, recent letters of
recommendation, plus, in the case of drivers, a valid Thai driving licence...
Alternatively, if people you know have a good maid, ask if she knows of anyone
experienced looking for a job.
"Many of the best
maids are found in this way. Be patient and prepared to interview several
people before you make a choice, especially if you have never had domestic help
before... Talk with as many people as possible about the usual division of
household duties, the number of servants they employ, whether they live in or
out, wages paid, etc. You will find most people are only too willing to share
their views! Make a list of all duties you would like a maid to be responsible
for, in order of priority. Decide how many helpers you want to employ and how
much you are prepared to pay them. Decide whether you would prefer live-in or
live-out help. Determine whether it is important to you that staff should be
able to read and write in English and/or Thai. Suggestions for interviewing:
Speak slowly, clearly and be prepared to repeat questions. Remember that Thais
are basically shy, so be friendly and positive. Smiles can work wonders. Be
clear in your own mind what you are looking for and what facts you want
established.... Agree on a specific ‘day off?each week. Thai servants work six
days per week and most prefer to have Sunday free.... It is a wise precaution
to obtain and keep details of all the staff whom you employ... Pre-employment
Health Check. This is advisable, especially if you have young children. Arrange
for a medical examination, X-ray and stool test... It is advisable to ask staff
to sign for receipt of wages each pay day... Agree on what food, if any, you
will provide... Make sure your servants know your name and telephone number...
When making known your family routines, demonstrate physically how you want
things done as well as giving verbal instructions... Point out your treasures,
and remember that valuable antiques may look very like junk to your maid!...
From the start you should firmly but kindly establish the fact that you are ‘boss?-
that it is your home and you would like it run your way... If you require your
staff to wear uniform you should provide it..."
This is just an excerpt of several
pages of advice, the Australian-New Zealand Women’s Group gives to it’s
readers about hiring Thai servants. Well, this advice is not quoted for
the purpose of furnishing our readers with the kind of information the ladies
of the Australian-New Zealand Women’s Group obviously believe is essential. It
is quoted to let our readers view in their imagination the transformation of
Western middle class house wives into feudal matrons. They are still petty in
the way they pay attention to details of little importance (to a much wider
extent than quoted above). At the same time, they frame their minds according
to their new social status as feudal masters.
A number of suggestions as
well as the language used indicate a certain arrogance: have the stool
tested before you hire Thai household staff, take the precaution to obtain and
keep details of all staff. Thais are pictured as some exotic species, or a
tribe not quite up to present day civilization: Remember that Thais are
basically shy; speak slowly, clearly and be prepared to repeat questions; be
prepared to repeat all instructions slowly several times.
Having lived away from his
native country for most of his adult life, this author has had ample occasion
to observe the life styles not only of Western expatriates in Asia but also of ambassadors
and diplomatic staff in general. Judging from this experience, one cannot but
have the impressions that diplomacy is the last refuge of feudalism in
countries that otherwise are proud to have implemented a democratic and
egalitarian social order. Never mind social democracy or even socialism at
home. French, Scandinavian, Greek or US ambassadors - they all pretty much live
royal lives, with the pomp of residences which resemble small palaces;
they are addressed as Excellency, adorn themselves with glittering
medals and usually have much more personal staff than they require to live
comfortably.
Wouldn’t it be time to
replace these remnants of past centuries simply with administration
executives. Certainly, feudal figures are no true representation of Western
nations, or Western civilization in general. And probably they would, if
stripped of their feudal ambience, not serve as example after which house wives
of Western business expatriates strive to model their own and their families' lives.
As long as Western
expatriate house wives take the life style of diplomat families as model, with
neither an occupation of their own nor with household chores to attend to, they
obviously need to find something to do. Sports and social clubs are of a
great help to avoid that those who have no work to do will get bored. Those who
fancy something meaningful to do can join in cultural as well as charitable
clubs.
As the following list will
prove there is an abundance of social clubs for all inclinations. Aside from
that, there are, for those who want to attend to their spiritual well-being, churches
of all denominations, and pastors hold sermons in many different languages.
A more recent addition to
the list of attractions of Bangkok for expatriate house wives is the
availability of cosmetic surgery at a Fraction of the price that it costs at
home. Bangkok can provide it all: face lifts, nose implants, tummy tucks, hair
transplantations, Botox injections, you name it.
For many procedures, prices
are less than half of what they are in North America or Europe. However, the quality
standards are not as rigidly controlled as they are in more advanced societies,
and it has been claimed that the percentage of disfiguration after cosmetic
surgery is considerably higher.
Furthermore, there is a
larger risk of being treated with counterfeit medications, such as bootleg
Botox.
Therefore, conventional
wisdom suggests that before going under the knife for purely cosmetic reasons
in Bangkok or other cities in Thailand, one should do a careful research. By
and large, it may be better to opt for an established hospital rather than a
possibly cheaper backstreet clinic.
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