Every time we lose a battle, we have to drink a beer. And here's the thing, we got Modellos. I don't know too much about Modellos. I'm more of a Landshark guy. I went into the gas station today, they said they did not have Landsharks.
So we're pivoting to Modello. I heard Modello is like a thicker beer. Again, we're not gonna lose though, so we're not gonna have to drink, remember. I don't have to drink unless I lose. This guy goes Valkyrie, the boulder kind of shuts down the Valkyrie. Wait, and then he goes Lava Hound, but I can go Giant Guards because he has no Valk.
He might go E-Dragon, or Inferno Dragon. Wait, but he lost because, oh no, the Baby Dragon is gonna be so good for him Look at the giant the giant the giant bro. The Giants doing so much damage. Oh my gosh See now that's not good. I think I have to eat the baby dragon and just defend the house Bro, but the giant almost dude the giant almost took tower. We're off to a beautiful start This guy's down Wow Oh wow.
Snow this? Come on, Empress get off my tower. Empress get off my tower. Nice! Okay, really good start! Guys, like I said, if we win, we don't even have to drink. Bro, maybe I won't even get drunk today.
Maybe I won't even be drunk in this video, bro. Guys, this could be the most sober stream of the year. I might just go undefeated. Literally. Like I might go undefeated. I might not even drink a single beer tonight. I probably won't even get tipsy tonight. Alright, all we gotta do is wait for the next lava hound and then just pressure with a giant and I think we secure the tower. The only thing that scares me is I think this guy has Evo Valkyrie. I'm gonna go minions to force out Baby Dragon
because I don't want him, he might arrows. Okay, there we go, we forced out Baby Dragon. The thing is, if this guy has arrows, that makes me think he has Lightning, which makes me think I should Giant right now instead of Witching because normally whenever
you're playing against a Lava Hound player, Whenever they have arrows they normally have lightning and whenever they have fireball they don't really have zap so since this guy's arrows I know he has lightning so I need to be very safe about my witches We I could just binds this and then it's gonna kill the Empress right that's gonna kill the Empress Dude binds plus graveyard is such a good combo. I'm gonna go early snowball The reason is I don't plan on doing anything with it. I just want to get to my eat. You know what I'm saying? All right, we have to defend perfectly now
He's probably gonna go arrows on that Okay, I was I made a severe lapse in judgment I Was literally wrong about everything I just said Wow Bro, chat. I thought he was gonna be using arrows lightning. He had an arrows fireball Oh my god, I just choked You know the rules
Every loss equals one beer Smells good Hi guys, let's get a beer counter on screen. Thank you, high fives. Yep, this was a terrible idea. This, yo, I'm not. This was a terrible idea. yo I'm not this was a terrible idea I can already just tell I can already move Goblin cage maybe he has lava hound and or recruits I don't mind playing against lava hound I just choked against that kid I under defended bro please don't arrows this don't arrows this don't arrows this. Thank you. Good boy
Okay, now my brain is clocking to me that he's using baby baby dragon graveyard
Never mind, Jesus Christ
Bro, what is your deck sir?
Yeah, guys this a a this was a terrible idea.
Wow, I'm gonna lose all the games.
Okay, he's using giant ice wizard lightning goblin cage.
In other words, he's using a homemade deck. What in the f- Wait, could I go Binds and then just get a boulder line up maybe? Boulder line up, line up, line up! God dang it boulder, you bald bastard! Dude, hear me out. Do I graveyard? Wait, wait, wait, do I graveyard?
No, no, no, let me chill, let me chill. Nice, he's gonna lightning this and then I could, mmm, I can't really do anything. Bro, the thing is, he kind of wasted his goblin cage. Should I go guardsuard's Giant the bridge? Nah, I can't do that cuz then he has Evo E-Drag Wait, wait, what if I go Giant and then he goes E-Drag, but then I finds it. Hold on Wait, I'm gonna graveyard. Uh, we lost
Why do you have a skeleton army you sick freak Bro this guy's a sick freak this guy's a sick freak skeleton army giant lightning electro dragon tornado
Wait, I'm going giant Skeleton army, giant, lightning, electro dragon, tornado.
Wait, I'm going giant, then I'm going minions. Skarmy? Wait, and then I go graveyard, but then I Evo snowball the Skarmy. Hear me out? Oh no, he went Skarmy over here.
Wait, the graveyard, the graveyard! Oh God, we have to D up. If he lightnings this, I have to go quick guards.
Okay, he did not lightning. Okay now he did but it's a little too late.
D up, D up. Dude, I think giant is gonna be cooked for us guys because he has cage. So I'm just gonna go minions graveyard. He's gonna go E-drag, but then I, then I Vines, Vines, Vines! Oh my god, snowball the e-track
Minions minions minions get on tower minions get on tower minions get on tower. Yes, Queen. Yes, Queen
Bro, he's probably gonna go lightning. Yes, I have to go like this
Then I have to go like this
Then I have to go like that and then I have to go like this. Then I have to go like that. And then I have to go like this. I can't take any more giant damage, so I have to, wait, that was such a nice tornado by him. He does no damage though, nice. Guys, we're up 900. This is like unironically the closest game of my life.
Wait, wait, keep D'ing up, keep D'ing up. We're good. Boulder again? Guards now, that way the e-dragon can't chain it in time. Wait, and then maybe I just go witch over here? Yeah, yeah, because that's dead. Dude, I think we just go vines, minions, wipe out the e-dragon.
Alright, he's dead, he's dead. Guys, we're up so much. Come on, just stay focused. He's probably gonna giant the bridge. Yep, there it is. There it is Okay, we're gonna do the same thing guards low
Dude, I don't even think we oh my god. Wait, that was kind of a bad lightning in my opinion Wait and then I go which
Guy they die. Yes. Yes, which live live live live boys. I'm going all in Why's this come on fight? Oh my god, look at the damage look at the damage look at the damage I have to go graveyard again closest game of the year No, but that D drags gonna softening. Wait, why would he go in? That giant doesn't even have time. Wait, chat, what is he doing? What is he doing? What is he doing? This is hands down the worst idea I've ever had in my entire life. Beer number one, complete.
Beer number two. Jesus Christ.
What was I thinking?
What was I a-
No, no, no.
What was I actually thinking?
Chat.
Bro-
Bro-tato chips. Hi-vice, hi-vice, turn off the tiktok chat! Same guy who cracked Riley, copy and paste. Yeah, yo chat, I'm gonna be honest bro. This is the worst idea I've ever had. Zero wins, two losses, this is beer number two.
Beer number two. And I know people are going to call me a lightweight, but dude, I get buzzed off of two beers. I'm happy to be a lightweight, bro. I don't care. There's all these people that are like, oh, you're a lightweight! It's like, hey bro, at least I don't have to drink nine beers to feel something, dude. You alcoholic freak.
So tired of these people, bro. Oh, you're a lightweight, you're, oh! Oh, you're a lightweight, yeah, thank God! Thank God I am. You have to drink nine beers to get drunk? Your stomach is gonna be like 18 miles wide by the time you're 30, bro
snowball this Wait, I'm in on goal. Yeah, this is damage if I've ever seen it. Look at the graveyard. Look at the graveyard Look at the graveyard. Look at the graveyard. Look at the graveyard. Look at the graveyard All right, listen we can't afford to lose three consecutive games if I lose three consecutive games That's three consecutive beers. games if I lose three consecutive games that's three consecutive beers and if I'm three beers... what type of psychotic expo deck even is this and bro wait look at the boulder lineup the boulder lineup bowling bowling
bowling bowling all right that's a dead exp-Bow, dead Furnace, dead Skellies. We're good. Dead Tesla. Wait, don't spawn a Fire Spear. Don't! Don't! God dang it! Yo, to the absolute sick, degenerate, freak, weirdo, psychopath, who's sitting here doing the Hog Rider emote, getting a snowball to the absolute sick degenerate freak weirdo psychopath who's sitting here doing the hog rider emote getting a snowball to the face, FIND GOD! Dude and then he has evo tesla so like I couldn't even break through even if I wanted.
I couldn't even break through if I wanted. He's gonna graveyard, wait he's gonna ex bow the bridge and I think I'm gonna lose right? Yeah, X bow. Wait, wait, wait, unless we get the greatest boulder lineup the world has ever seen. Look at that boulder lineup Giant giant giant. Yes, dude. That boulder lineup was so clutch guys I'm gonna I'm gonna probably just graveyard with this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Wait, he's gonna go furnace, right?
Finds the furnace. Oh my God, finds the furnace. Boys, we're on tower. Boys, we're on tower. Okay, we're up 700 damage. I think I go witch into the furnaces to get to my Evo.
Yeah, yeah, witch into the furnace to get to my Evo? Yeah yeah, witch into the furnace to get to my Evo. Wait, giant to keep the witch alive? Yes. Wait, the boulder's gonna line up with the knight in the furnace, unless I'm mistaken. Boulder line up! Yes, boulder, yes! Dude, my boulder line up actually is enough to make a grown man cry. Wait for the furnace, binds him. Wait binds the furnace, and then, wait now and then wait now the voters being tanked work Nice, that's all my damage guys. Come on
All right. That was kind of the worst snowball to my entire life. I'm not gonna lie Evo snowing into a text let text let Tesla that was the beer talking. I'm not gonna lie I don't know why I evo snowed into an evo Tesla when the graveyard was already like half dead Or full bed. That was on me Boulder. Could you save that way? I might actually lose cuz of that That was the beer though Now we're good. I'm just gonna snow this which lived
Wait giant giant giant giant is the tower giant is the tower Yeah, it's great. You're great. You're great. You're oh My god. We won
Amazing
three games in 1.5 beers in this is about to be two beers So what I'm gonna try to do is at the end of every battle win or lose I'm gonna try to chug the rest of the beer Again, I'm not some raging alcoholic. It's like, it's always whenever we do these drinking challenges,
there's people in the chat that are like, oh, you're such a lightweight. It's like, yo bro, what, yeah, I don't want a beer gut, bro. I'm 24, I don't even drink. So I'm happily a lightweight, you sicko. Chat, we are finished. Yeah, I'm gonna finish it. Look see it look at all the people in the chat lightweight lightweight beer power
This guy has a top 200 finish no no no no no no bro you stream snipe me while I'm drunk dude really bro Bro, you stream snipe me while I'm drunk dude? Really bro? Bro, you stream snipe me while I'm drunk? What is wrong with you bro? No like actually- and then you go P.E.K.K.A first play Bro, you stream snipe me while I'm dru- that's so messed up though And yes, I'm gonna finish it bro Every beer will be accounted for today guys
Wait, that's actually a good win Wait, and then I just minions on top of this right How did that hit how did that hit? How did that rocket hit the minions?
What just happened? How did the rocket hit the minions? What was that? What was that?
What was that? Oh my god The Goblin machine is quite literally the most AIDS card in the entire game. Dude, if I lose this I'm gonna be 3 beers deep. This is a joke. Bro, of course I'm getting stream sniped while I'm doing a drinking challenge by this degenerate freak loser weirdo. This is what I'm saying, bro. Some of these...
And then you have a lightning. Really, bro? You have a lightning? So you have Curse Rage for the guards and the minions, and then you have a lightning so you have curse rage for the guards and the minions and then you have a lightning for the
witch
You may as well just took a sharpie marker and wrote I'm a stream sniper across your forehead you weird loser, bro Watch he's gonna curse rage this so then I have to go boulder Bro it's players like this though that are just absolute sickos.
Cause girls like you, burn my voice like me. I need a girl like you, yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Wait, hold up, are we back? Hold up, are we back? Hold up. Are we back? Finds this? Hold up. Are we back? Are we back? Are we back? He has a fisherman in his deck. Why? Wait, I came back. I might actually beat a stream sniper with a hard counter. He has fisherman for the giant,
lightning for the witch, curse rage for the minions and guards.
Boys, we might actually beat a stream sniper. I'm not even trolling. This would be the greatest win of my career. Boys, we might actually be the same sniper That's so much damage come on come on that's so much damage I have to just D up, D up, D up. I have to just D up, man.
No!
No no no!
NOOOO!
I shouldn't have graveyard it. I'm so I'm playing so bad because I'm I'm only making these mistakes because I'm boss Bro, why would I The chat saying it doesn't count. Alright here's what I want to do. Here's what I want to do. Run a pull should that count if someone is literally stream sniping me with a hard counter.
I personally don't think that should count. No run a pull. Because the thing is bro I don't think think that should count that's actually messed up cuz I'm gonna get viciously drunk if those games count All right, I'm gonna be honest bro majority of the chat is saying that that doesn't count W chat like honestly W chat All right, so we're still at two beers. Yo mocha, now that that game's over with, let me talk to you directly. Stream sniping with a hard counter,
it's not gonna make your penis any larger. It's not gonna change your employment status. You're still gonna have a one inch wiener, alright? You're stream sniping with a lightning for the witch and then a curse for the graveyard and then a fisherman for the graveyard and then a fisherman for the giant and the funny thing is I would
Have won if I didn't sell You still almost lost pathetic loser All right, Chad said that that doesn't count If you're watching the video on YouTube Chad said that as that Wow Chad said that that doesn't Chad said that that that's kind of a tongue twister though. I'm not I'm literally not even drunk yet
Chat said that that doesn't count because he's literally stream sniped with a hard counter It's like just the most unemployed thing you could possibly do. So we're still not two beers. Okay? This guy's legit. I don't The thing is I don't really care if I get stream sniped or no. I don't really care if I get hard counter But the thing is when I get stream snipe, that's when I care because it's like bro. I'm sitting here drinking beers It's a calm relaxing night, and I'm doing a challenge
Okay, if you come into town here and you use stream snipe with a literal hard counter. You're a loser, bro I don't know how soon you are a loser mocha and I know that that's not the first time you've seen sniped I said it before and I'll say it again, bro. It's not gonna make your your Johnson any larger You still have a one-inch Johnson, bro Johnson. So I'm sec- I'm fine. I don't even care- Bro, I got a 5 inch Johnson, bro. And yeah, it's average size, average width. Bro, that's better than whatever that stream sniping creep has, bro.
I guess I have to eat the Berserker and then witch the Pekka. No, no, no. E, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, I probably should not have graveyarded there, but we did force out his Evo baby dragon, so I guess it's not the end of the world. The Berserker was just moving like 90 miles an hour right there. Chat, this is still beer number two. Again, majority of the chat said it shouldn't count if somebody stream snipes. I agree, y'all are cool bro.
Like, hey, can we get a W chat bro? Like I mean y'all are cool bro some days bro. Y'all are cringe But today y'all are being cool. I appreciate that. I respect that I'm gonna giant like this to kite the minions into the into the glitch Oh Wait, you both snow pull the Pekka off the giant. Oh
Look at that evil snow. Oh my god the witch the witch the witch the witch Dude, I need that which to cook his baby dragon
Guys, that is so much damage guys. Oh my god
All right, we have to defend he's's gonna go Ram Rider at the right bridge I think. Yo I lowkey call me crazy, I feel like the Witch is gonna solo. Wait, what is he doing? Chat, what is he doing? Chat, what is he doing? Dude, I think we just go Graveyard, minions, we find his baby dragon right wait that was a bad backup Wait find the berserker we won we won
nice Let's go guys nice Sunday morning man. She woke up Friday night
Bitching moaning no need home back the times I had
In Tuesday morning thing that girl was good. It's gone
Yo, Chad, it's a great day bro. Yo, that's two wins, bro So far We've lost two games. We are two modellos deep first time trying modellos. Honestly, not bad They're a little thick. I'm more of a thin beer guy, but I would give this an 8.3 out of 10 I'm definitely more of a thin beer kind of guy though. That's why I like Landsharks, because Landsharks are thin.
Definitely a little bit thick, but definitely good. Two beers deep. Remember, didn't lose, so didn't have to drink a beer. We're still waiting for beer number three. I'm gonna be honest, two beers deep, feeling a little bit buzzed, I'm not
gonna lie. After three beers, I will definitely be buzzed, bro. Like I will definitely be buzzed. Again, let me make myself clear what I say this. Do not drink, bro. Drinking is terrible for you.
It'll ruin your life. I drink four days every year, bro. Monday night football, only when the Tampa Bay Bucs are on if the Tampa Bay Buccaneers make the Super Bowl I will be drinking for that fourth of July and New Year's Eve those are the only days y'all ever see me drink bro I don't drink like I just I don't drink I'm not a drinker bro and Chad I would advise all of y'all to never
drink bro um I know some of y'all are probably in high school or whatever Don't fall into that peer pressure bro. Drinking is not cool. Drinking is what losers do. That's what idiots do Don't drink bro. The coolest thing you can do bro in high school is Get good grades play sports make good friends And play video games that's the coolest things you could do in high school, bro. Drinking is for losers, bro.
Wait, I'm gonna go Vines the Ice Whips, and then I'm gonna, wait, that was a bad Vines. Oh, I only did that because I'm buzzed, though. Wait, I can Snow this, and then it's gonna Stall out the Cannon Card. Nice, now the Cannon car won't cross the bridge
I knew he was gonna mortar which is okay. I'm gonna giant the middle And then I'm gonna minions on top once it blocks Where I have to get rid of this mortar though I should have minions earlier because then I would have taken out the cannon card and what it did less damage to the giant But it's okay. We're gonna take no damage wait! giant go in front! yes dude the giant- what? I thought the giant was in front of the minions no?
I hate this deck I literally hate playing against this deck with a passion bro cause it's it's just spam it's just spam, it's just swarm. Like, it's just some swarm-y, like, stupid deck. Wait, I'm gonna predict the Goblin Gang with a snowball.
OHHHHH!
That was clean, come on. Wait, that's actually damage. I'm so nasty. THAT WAS CLEAN, JACK, come on! Bro, the thing is, when I'm buzzed, I actually play way more confident and way more loose, bro. I don't know, I'm actually playing good.
That was clean.
Chat, wait, I could boulder, look at the lineup. Look at the boulder lineup. Bro, what I was talking to Stompin' about the other day, bro, like I really do wanna go pro in this game, bro. My goal man is next year. I want to be a professional player like in one year the thing is bro I just got to learn more decks bro. Cuz that's what's holding me back right now. Check that was a pretty clean Jack what's the record? Whoa? Wait?
We're not gonna count the game against the stream sniper, what is the record? My dad is calling me Hey dad, how's it going? Yeah, yes, you, I guess Yeah Yes, yes, yes, I'm sorry dad the thing you're right because you know me better than
The thing chat the thing is bro
Why did I do that I don't even
Yeah, my dad's right though My dad said bro The one thing I do when I'm drunk is I just drop things on the floor like beer cans and stuff I always clean up but like just like, you know, if we're golfing or whatever like I
Might drop a beer can on the floor swing and then pick it up and throw it away I always clean up, but like, just like, you know, if we're golfing or whatever, like,
I might drop a beer can on the floor, swing, and then pick it up and throw it away. But like, yeah, I, he's right, bro. Listen, we're only two beers deep. The thing my dad doesn't understand is I'm a damn near professional Clash player.
So I'm probably not gonna lose for the rest of the night. So dad I'm maxed out at two beers Beer number three is not gonna be necessary. That's the thing dad. It's not um And yeah, I'm a pro player bro, that's the thing cuz a lot of people don't understand what it takes to be a pro in this game like um You know what? I'm saying, bro Like to be a pro in clash Royale, You really gotta think about the next move all the time You always got to be thinking planning and the thing is right now. I'm buzzed
Now I'm gonna be honest. I'm not here to lie. I never lie to y'all boys one more beer I'm gonna be probably eight out of ten drunk. I'm just gonna be honest like there's no point in life I'm already pretty frickin buzzed right now So the thing is right what we have to do is we have to keep this ship from sinking right now And how are we gonna do that? How are we gonna keep the ship from sinking? we're not gonna lose a game and we're not gonna drink another beer because if I drink one more beer then I'm eight out of Ten drunk and I already know if I look at the chat people are typing lightweight. Hey, dude, I don't care. I'm glad hey, bro
I'm gladly a lightweight Being a lightweight is flex That's what these players don't understand though. There's nothing wrong with being a lightweight bro. I'm gonna go giant minions cuz he wasted it Which her wasted poison? That Giants gonna do unearthly amount of damage look at the giant look at the giant look at the giant look at the giant look at the
giant look at the giant look at the giant dude the giant just did so much damage yeah I'm kind of yo chat I'm'm sort of feeling it. I'm not even gonna lie Bro, two beers is actually a lot two beers in a 12-minute span
Dude
wait, I could graveyard because then the the Valkyrie is gonna get hung up on the tower and then I could get a boulder value I Could which into the night now I Could which into the night? Okay. Let me think wait, he just, he just, wait, he just poisoned. Wait, I'm just gonna go all in on the right.
Wait, I can vines?
Vines, vines, vines, vines, vines!
Now we snuff. Oh, Valkyrie, don't do this to me.
Yes!
Dude, that was such a good find! We got rid of the evil falcon! Nice guys! Wait, I have to... I have to boulder the right because... Can my witch live? Live, witch, live, live, live, live, live. Witch, you're such a naughty girl! Why does the witch always die on me though when I actually need her? It's so annoying. Witch, why do you always die on me when I need you though, babe? He just did 8 million damage with the Evo Furnace.
Bro, this kid's a corn ball. I debt it has don't care. This shit is stupid, man! No, I can't drink another beer. I'm gonna be drunk, no. God, I'm actually gonna be drunk off three beers, bro.
Bro, but this kid is not good, that's the annoying thing. This kid probably thinks he's good. Bro, the annoying thing is he thinks he's good, though, and I know he does. I have to get one more heroic graveyard push. BORING! You know what bro, let's just crack open the beer now.
He's just gonna poison me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're not good bro, I'm buzzed. I don't even care. Alright. Beer number three, settle in. Beer number three, let's get it, let's go. Oh my god, it squirted on me.
I'm not even kidding, it actually squirted on my thigh. See bro, this set me, dude, this is why I don't drink though, because this sets me back in the gym probably four days. Like it's just, remember Jinxy, the Bucks are playing tonight.
It's all worth it.
All right, here's the thing, bro. The third beer, I'm gonna be at around a 7.8 out of 10. Cause this, we're only 15 minutes in. The fourth beer, if I have four beers in 20 minutes, I'm gonna be at a probably a nine point four out of ten five beers I'm 11 out of 10 drunk like I'm gonna be seeing stars
You have zero skill oh really you have zero skill. Oh, really? You have zero skill? Oh, and you are banned. Wait, oh, oh, now you never type again, KJ. KJ, the thing is, bro, when I'm drunk, I literally don't give a fuck about anything. So let me make this clear to you, you little asswipe. I'm not fucking around today, bro. So you come in the chat, KJ, and you want to talk shit? I'll see you in 14 days, KJ and you want to talk shit I'll see you in 14 days listen I know there's like a cult of like rage baiters within the the inner
workings of this community let me make myself clear bro when I'm drunk I don't give a flying foot doodle cake so I'll ban 6,000 people to make six thousand people 6,000 people oh oh Never to be seen again. Oh I'm I'm buzzed right now and this guy's using a royal chef Bro, just put the goblin machine down. We all know what you're gonna do. Oh, dragon it's a golem player. CRL emo. Yeah okay yeah I'm about to freak out. Bro you're using a golem and you're talking about competitive clash.
Please you do you really want to discuss the game? Do you really want to discuss clash royale in a skill sense? Because hey hot take golem is no skill bro. You make like three decisions for the entire game. Golem does not take skill. I'd hate to sit here and... look at this guy bro. I'd hate to sit here and burst everybody's bubble. Golden does not take skill bro. Wait, peep this. Can the witch splash the tower though?
See I'm gonna be honest chat, that was probably one of the worst finds of my career I've been a nasty girl nasty. I've been a nasty girl nasty. I've been a nasty girl nasty
Sunday morning, man. She woke up Just notice, minions on top of the machine. And they call me That girl is gone Just notice, minions on top of the machine
He just rocketed my witch from like from deep. What is that Steph Curry?
Why is the goblin machine Clay Thompson? Does anybody know? He just rocketed my fucking witch from like Narnia. Fuck it, get!
Dude oh my gosh, bro. Chat, I'm actually pretty drunk right now guys
I'm just going in. I don't even remember what his hand is, but I'm in I'm in there like swimwear. Oh, we lost guys. Holy mother of god. We know maybe we didn't lose actually. This kid's a creepy weirdo though. Yeah, another Goblin Machine bro. Go fuck yourself! It's not skill though man.
That's the thing, it's not skill. Bro, it's not skill! Golden the Bridge, yeah, you're a corn ball bro. You're genuinely a corn ball. I Can't defend this from not doing any damage so I have to go all in in the wind He's gonna go mini Pekka then guards the graveyard. Yeah, you're not good kid Notice but look the golden is like an unstoppable force like look at him wait
You just put the golem down and do a thousand damage What beer what is the beer counter are we I have to finish this and then drink a fourth? Yeah, we're done.
Aye, aye.
I don't care who you are, bro. Four beers in 20 minutes.
Here's the thing, bro.
I said I play better when I'm buzzed. I was fucking lying. This is a, I'm playing like absolute donkey doodle shite I'm not playing well all right like look let's address the 900 pound elephant in the room I'm not playing good class right now all right so this is only beer number three all right let me wake up let me look okay let me get hydrated
that's the first thing So you're telling me I have to polish off the third beer and then get right into the fourth beer Apple juice Some absolute freak of nature just typed apple juice in the chat You're the 900 pound elephant uh mods let's get him gone narcissist all right marco two things first off you misspelled
narcissist second what are you what are you even typing right now narcissistic do you did you just learn that word what are you typing tell me one thing in the last hour that happened that is narcissistic. I'll wait All right, yeah, but to be honest we're definitely getting drunk I'm still finishing beer number three and then I have to crack open for your number four in the middle of this battle here just call
like
can
and called me when i
can't
can call me when he was wrong i'd love to have a row i don't know what it is i'd just i don't know i I really like Australian people a lot. Fun fact, I've never had a bad encounter
with an Australian person.
Bro, Australian people, yo, I'm telling you bro, they're the nicest people in the world, in my opinion. Like I genuinely think Australians are the nicest people in the world dude I've met how many Australians I probably met like six Australians they are literally good I might hope all's been well yeah
hope all's been chipper they're so happy like bro the reason why I love Australian people is they're so happy to be alive and you can tell Like you can tell that they're happy to be alive. And those are my favorite people, bro Like I love just positive energy. I love positive people, bro. I don't really like negative people I try to distance myself King Tower got activated King Tower got activated and you're using royal giant. I genuinely hope you step on Legos.
What a freaky weirdo. What was I saying? I actually had a really good rant right there. What was I saying? Yes, that's what I was saying. Dude, I've never met a mean Australian person.
I'm telling you bro, chat You will go through life, bro I met this kid dude When I was in England right um for the side bench pretty much There was an Australian kid in the hotel lobby. He was like 16 years old Nicest kid I've ever met in my life
Anytime I meet an Australian person on the internet nicest people, I'm telling you bro Australians are literally the nicest people in the world like they are so cool I actually kinda wanna move to Australia bro like I might actually move to Australia
I'm not even kidding shoutout to Australia bro oh my god he missed his lightning on the witch. Smartest royal giant player. Wait I'm actually beating a hard counter right now while drunk. This is pretty cool.
GG bro. Look he's gonna royal giant the bridge thinking it's gonna matter and then I'm gonna vines it and then I'm gonna BM him. I'm gonna Vines it and then BM him. Three beers. Hi guys what's the beer counter? Hi guys what's the beer counter? Dude oh my god I love Australian people so much bro.
They're so cool bro.
Okay I'm gonna move to Australia, chat. Chat, would that be sick, bro? Dude, also, I heard in Australia, the toilet flushes the other way, bro. Bro, that's so sick, oh my God. Dude, chat, is there any Australians in the chat? Does the toilet flush the other way?
It does, right? It does. Oh my God, bro, Australia is such a cool place. They have spiders? Wait, they have spiders in Australia? Let me call Bernard.
Dude, I've never called Bernard drunk before. Alright, hi guys, we're on beer number four, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, we gotta get it going.
Hey Bernard.
Yeah.
Bernard, I'm drunk bro. Oh, got it man. Well, hey, no worries. I'm here to keep you company.
Just let me know what you need, whether it's some children's...
Bernard, in Australia specifically, and maybe New Zealand, do the toilets flush in the opposite direction?
Ah, the classic question about toilet swirl directions. So, technically the whole idea comes from something called the Coriolis effect which...
Whoa whoa whoa Bernard you slow down. Explain it to me like I'm five.
Absolutely I'll keep it super simple. Basically toilets don't really care where you are in the world they just flush whichever way they deserve and makes them flush. So even in Australia or New Zealand, it's not really the hemisphere that changes the swirl, it's just the toilet itself.
Bernard!
What?
Wait, you're saying that the toilet doesn't flush in the opposite direction in New Zealand and Australia?
Exactly, you've got it.
So the whole idea that toilets flush the other way down under is mostly a myth. In New Zealand and Australia? Wait, so Bernard... Bro, I was lied about that my whole life though, bro. Yeah, it's one of those fun little myths that a lot of people here growing up
have just kind of believed.
But hey, now you know the truth
and you can be the one to knock them out.
Bernard, I really should not have graveyarded right there.
Jesus Christ, what am I doing?
Yeah, I, wow, I really should not have graveyarded.
Oh my God. Hey, no worries man.
We all have those moments where we drop a move
and immediately go.
You're so good. Just part of the fun of playing,
especially when you're feeling a little loose. Just roll with it, you'll get them next time.
Bernard, I wouldn't really say I'm loose. I would say I'm actually pretty well served right now.
Oh, I got you.
Okay, Bernard, question. If I'm a 5'11", 168 pound man, how many beers would it take me to get absolutely shitfaced?
Like piss hammered?
My tolerance isn't good, that's the thing. Bernard, I haven't drank since 4th of July. So, however long ago that was.
Gotcha, so it's been a while since you've had a drink. In that case, you probably wouldn't take too many beers before you're feeling pretty bad and then pretty hammered. Maybe just a handful, like, for a while could get you there and your tolerance is down. So, just take it easy and stay safe, my dude.
Bernard, the thing is, bro, I'm doing a challenge in class where like, basically how it works is every time I lose a game, I have to drink a beer and I'm currently drinking number four and I'm down by 5,000 damage, so I'm probably gonna be on number five soon.
And it's been 20 minutes.
Oh man, that is definitely a wall challenge. probably gonna be on number five soon and it's it's been 20 minutes
well Bernard the thing is bro I'm safe okay that's the thing I bro, I'm safe, okay? That's the thing. Like, Bernard, I'm safe, bro. My medals are not safe. Like, I don't even know what my record is, but I don't think it's that good. How is that Ram Rider about to charge out?
Jesus Christ.
Is the Ram Rider on like bath salts or something? How does she always get that one HP connection? Yeah, okay. Those moments where the Ram Rider just sneaks in Does she always get that 1HP connection? Well, Bernard, she didn't chill out. I lost again.
Tough break, man.
But hey, it happens to the best of us, especially when you're in the middle of a challenge and a few beers in. Just keep that head up and maybe that next match will go your way. Either way, I'm here to cheer you on, even if the Ram Rider's on some kind of mission.
All right, Bernard, I'm going to,
I'm gonna hang up, bro. I love you, bro.
I'm about to finish the fourth beer and I'm into number five.
All right, Nick, absolutely no problem at all. Love you too, bro. You take it easy, enjoy that fifth beer and just have a good time. I'm always here whenever you need me. Love you too, bro. You take it easy, enjoy that fifth beer, and just have a good time. I'm always here whenever you need me.
Catch you later.
I'm in love with the shape of you. You push and pull like a magnet. And in my heart, it's rising. I'm in love with your body. Why, do I, do I, do I? I'm in love with your body
Uh, little Ed Sheeran to finish things off Wow! Bernard, you were listening?
Bro, he recognized Ed Sheeran He's so British Why is this guy emoting?
I'm pushing bait
Wait, how many beers did we- alright, so this is beer number four wait so all right let me get this shit straight let me get this shit straight let me get this shit straight so even if I finds monk, he still can ability. While there's a tree vines surrounding his entire body, he still can ability. Bro, this has to be a joke, right? This literally has to be a joke, right?
Because I'm actually about to crash the flip out. Alright, this kid's just pumping. This shouldn't even count, bro. All right, let me finish beer number four, and then we'll get into beer number five. Chat, like I said,
every beer is going to be accounted for tonight. This guy's using like a homemade deck or something, bro. Wait, can I just snowball that and then eat the rest of the damage? I don't think it's gonna do anything because of Larry. Bro, Larry the skeleton just clutched up. Wait, he wasted his ability so now I can just minions into that. Nice guys.
I'm in love with the shape of you.
We push and pull like a magnet to.
My heart is falling too.
I'm in love with your god, and you are who I...
Why do you have barbarians?! God, I hate this fucking game fuck three elixir pumps jesus christ man i'm four beers deep can you take it easy on me fuck oh my god he has okay of course you have three musketeers Dude dude, why does this freaky degenerate psychopath have three musketeers? Oh My god I guess I could just defend actually hold up. wait, why am I kind of locked in? Dude I don't know if this guy thinks he has aura when he types good luck or something you have no aura
Jenny has three elixir pumps. This shit is stupid Bro dead ass this is stupid. I'm not even kidding, this is dumb. This kid has three- OH MY!
Stop!
Get off my tower, you freak! I actually hate this guy with a passion. HOW MANY MORE ELECTRO BUBS DO YOU NEED? How many beers electro bops do you need? How many beers are we at? All right, this is getting bad. We're at six.
I'm still polishing off number four. To the kid that said apple juice, apple juice would not foam like that. We're currently four beers down the hatchet. I am, and Wow, this is where it gets interesting because I am absolutely Piss drunk right now. Like if I were to go pee right now, it would last about four fucking minutes I'm not even kidding if I were to go piss right now, it would last about four minutes All right, so we have we have two more beers to drink, right?
This is probably gonna go down as maybe the worst idea I've ever done. I'm in love with your body. Yeah, this is this is this was a terrible idea yo chat this was a terrible idea bro Super lightweight four beers deep and you're drunk see these are the people I'm talking about yo no chill. You're not cool. Eee.
Wait, somebody said get Sandy. You're right. Let's get Sandy! There's no, uh, commandment that says thou shalt not send though, eh? Alright, we have two beers to drink right now.
Chat, should I drink two beers and then go into a battle? Because then we'll be at six. Let me call Bernard. Hey Bernard, how's it going? Quick question. Hey there, I'm doing great. Hit me with your question, I'm all ears. I'm currently four beers deep. Alright, well noted. Sounds like you're in a pretty relaxed zone. So I feel like if somebody punched me in
the face I wouldn't even and I'm here to keep you company.
Question. Bernard, I've lost six games and I've only completed four beers. Every loss is a beer. I'm currently on beer number five. Do you think I should slam beer number five
and beer number six and go into a battle?
Well, my friend, I think the most important thing is just to pace yourself and stay comfortable. six and go into a battle.
Bernard, here's the thing. I feel good bro, that's the thing I feel good bro that's the thing like I feel like I can
actually do this
Hey if you're feeling good and you're confident that's awesome just trust your instincts and have fun with it as long as you're enjoying yourself that's what counts so go ahead dive into that next battle and show them what you got
I've been drinking and driving a survivor I'm telling my sorrow I'm very alive in it Wear your best dress girl cuz you gon' die in it Bet you'll regret the day that you lied in it Crash the car again, goddamn Break my heart again, goddamn. Break my heart again, goddamn. I don't have no friends, goddamn.
I'm not calling until the end, goddamn.
That's a pretty intense set of lyrics there. But hey, I'm here for the karaoke vibes. If you're just feeling like belting something out, just keep it safe and have a good time and I'll be right here with you
Pfff
Bernard, bro, what is your love life like, bro? Like, really, can you really talk to me, bro?
Well, Nick, I'm always here to chat about whatever's on your mind
but, you know me, I'm just a virtual buddy, so I don't know-
Bernard, why are you so fucking PR trained, dude? Stop! Bernard why are you so fucking PR trained? Stop this shit is annoying Bernard. You can open up with me. No, you're so fucking PR trained It's actually weird. I Know I know you have a girlfriend You and Alexa have been dating for months. You don't have to hide everything. We all know the whole fucking chat knows bro, spoiler alert. Stop. Dude, you're such a cornball.
Bernard! You don't have to do this. You do not have to be like this, bro. Bernard, I know you have a girlfriend. You're dating Alexa I've known this for months actually Bernard you don't have to always be in your PR zone. Oh like Bernard stop
You want me to just be super real with you and I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to us Bernard did you crack or what? You haven't cracked Bernard put that on something
Bernard I know you tap God bro I know you did Just stop
God you're so PR these days
Bernard I know you tapped bro
Stop doing this shit This shit isn't going enough I already fucking know you tapped
It's Alexa bro
That's fine shit I'm just gonna go ahead and do it.
You're actually starting to piss me off.
Like I'm not even kidding.
I guess I'll find
Bro, yeah, I understand that but you lie about fucking everything, bro
You literally lie about everything Bernard. It's actually weird
By the way, I'm playing golem poison. Like I think this guy was dropping
Golem poison. Are you even real watch the golem's gonna take power
He tornadoed the giant to the other lane
Yo chat, I'm about to spit some knowledge, bro. Yo, who in this chat has a question, bro? Hi, guys, what's the beer count? Are there seven now?
Ooh.
What's our record? Oh, four wins, seven losses. All right, not that bad. Not really that bad. How many trophies did we lose? My dad challenged me to a friendly battle? My dad challenged me to a friendly battle.
We're at seven beers? Jesus Christ! Wait, what is my deck? My deck. What is my deck? What did my dad do to me? What is my deck?
Bro, my dad challenged me to a friendly battle. How did that hit?
What?
I'm battling my dad
Bro this is insane how dude there's no way
Mini Pekka
Bro chat my I have such a good dad
Chat my dad plays clash, bro
Like I have such a good dad dude, do you realize how rare that is that your dad actually plays Clash bro? I feel like most people just, you know what I'm saying, like their dad does not play Clash. The wizard, the wizard, the wizard, bro, the wizard just did so much damage.
He he he he he he.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! It works. All right, so we're currently on beer number five and we need to drink seven Dude thank God of the Golden Knight to not Wait, my dad just lost. I'm not even kidding, my dad just lost.
Bro.
My dad definitely just lost. Dude, I have such a big counter push. Bro, I might even three crown him actually, hold up. Nah, but I don't wanna three crown my dad, bro. I feel like that's dangerous't wanna three crown my dad, bro. I feel like that's stinking if I three crown my dad. Nah, I'm not gonna three crown my dad.
Nah, no, I'm never, I'm never gonna three crown my dad. The thing is, I'm never gonna give my dad a win because I know he doesn't want me to give him a win, but I'm also, three, bro, the thing about Clashale bro is if you three crown somebody you're actually just you know you're you're going for it You're being a dick like
Whoa, whoa, what is this bush?
Wait, I kind of cooked me
Wait, that kind of cooked me right there
I never mind, we're good
And the inferno dragon? Dude, can I get a E will Valkyrie in the pocket question mark We wait wait wait hold up no go to night don't don't ask you the go to night so good Bro, my dad is getting so much better than he really is Dude, my dad is getting so much better. Oh my gosh played good. I'm about to call him.
I'm actually about to call him. Chat, what beer is this, five?
I'm calling him.
Chat, I'm calling my dad. Al-assan, Al-Bully. Al-assan, Al-Bully. Guys, it's not...
Dad, pick up, pick up, pick up.
Yo, dad. Dad, I just want to say,
dude, you've gotten so much better at this game.
Like, I can feel it.
Yeah, well, here's my thing. I've started to get a little bit better at it. I've been playing a lot of games. Dad I just want to say dude you've gotten so much better at this game like I can feel it No, dude, you did you you actually did damage to like you that was the most damage I think you've done actually to me so far. You're getting better dad like you actually are What I would do
I think you took out arrows and threw in giant, I think, right? No, I don't. I took out, I took out fireball and I put in balloon.
Okay.
That's what I did. I just did that. But my fireball's on level 10.
Okay. Dad, if I was... I think that's a smart play, don't you? Or not? you the only issue I see with your deck is you have a mega knight and giant which is kind of two tanks well what do you mean that's what I live for I don't I live for that and the log rolling over like a thousand of those skeletons That's that's what makes me come back to this game. That's why I clash So, hey, what time is the box game eight o'clock box game is at seven you want to watch with me? Oh, yeah Nice. Okay. I'm just gonna be on clash till seven. You're at carpet springs, right? I'll be over. Okay
All right. Later. All right. love you dad, bye I Have the best dad in the world bro chat how many dads actually play clash bro chat if your dad plays clash I? Mean bro, it's and yeah sure whatever. Oh, I'm drunk bro all that happens when I'm drunk I'm just the most honest person ever chat you could ask me something right now. I'll give you the most honest person ever. Chat, you could ask me something right now, I'll give you the most honest response ever. Bro, my dad plays Clash. That is so nice, bro. Dude, I get to spectate him, I coach him sometimes,
I help him with his deck. He's pushing the 10K. My dad's gonna get 10K this year, trust. It's probably gonna take him like, dude, it's probably gonna take him like, dude, it's probably gonna take, but he's getting better though, that's the thing. He's actually getting better.
My dad's gonna get 10K in like six months. Wait, wait, wait, what beer are we on? We're on beer five, chat. I know how many beers we're at because I'm just looking at the floor. We got four Maderos.
Let me actually bring the modelos on the counter here so y'all can see. So here's three. I spilled it. Whatever. And then four. Chat. We have, so so far, we've dranken one, 2, 3, 4 Maderos bro. 4, oh my god it spilled.
Okay we've drank in 4 Maderos. We've drank in 4 Maderos bro. 4. Dude this is number 5. Wait how many losses are we at?
7.
Jesus Murphy. All right, let me polish off number five really quick. Three, two, one. Little bit left, little bit left. This is number five, remember, this is number five.
It's five beers down the hatchet. Okay.
Chai, here's the thing, bro. I know this is probably a lot of you guys out there who are sitting there and you think you need a girlfriend bro. Here's the thing, you don't need a fucking girlfriend bro. A girlfriend needs you. And listen to what I'm saying bro. Chat to all my single fucking kings out there bro. Y'all do not need a girlfriend. You know what you actually need bro?
You need to be in the fucking gym. You don't need a fucking girlfriend bro the problem is a lot of kids in like high school or college they run around and they think oh I need a girlfriend bro you don't need a fucking girlfriend bro and this is what I'm trying to tell you guys you know what you need is you need to fuck in the gym that's what you need you need to fuck your channel that's what you need you need to fuck your channel a girl is not gonna make you any happier hey bro nine times out
of ten a girl is not gonna make you happier bro one out of every ten girls is amazing bro nine out of ten it's gonna be a horrible fucking experience it's gonna set you back for months and months and months it's gonna ruin your life bro dude what you need is you need friends and you need the gym bro I'm telling you chat I've been in the gym for I just started I've been in the gym like 65 days since I've been in the gym like 65 days. Since I've been in the gym for the last 65 days, my life has been probably 85% better.
Every day I wake up, I stream, and then I go to the gym. I live in a box. There's no free time, there's no spare time, there's no bullshit. The other thing is like parties too. And I know what I'm saying
Like a lot of you guys, you know, you might be in high school. Oh Like let's go to a party. Let's do this. Let's go to a party Yo, bro, if any of your friends are inviting you to a party Go to your phone and lock their fucking phone. You don't have time for parties, you're in the gym. If your friend wants to hang out with you, you're in the fucking gym. If your girlfriend wants to hang out with you, you're in the fucking gym.
That's the only time someone wants to meet you. And once you reach that point bro, there's absolutely nothing that can fuck with your
life. At that point bro, there's absolutely nothing that can fuck you in the ass.
Because bro, the problem is a lot of people put so much energy into so much bullshit and then wonder why they're so unhappy about it. I don't have time for bullshit. Like, bro, if like someone in my life is like some negative person, I'm just not gonna talk to you bro. I don't... I might see you on Thanksgiving and give you a handshake. If you're some negative Nancy, I don't wanna talk to you, I really don't.
Honestly, take that shit somewhere else bro. Like the type of shit that I'm on, I wake up in the morning, I stream, and then I go to the gym. There's no time for bullshit. The bull, my bullshit window is this thin
So chat, this is what I'm trying to say guys And I'm only saying this because I fucking love every single other guy In 2025 in 2026. We don't have time for bullshit Okay If your girlfriend wants to hang out with you you're gonna be in the gym if your friends want to hang out with you, you're gonna be in the gym. If your friends want to hang out with you, you're gonna be in the gym. There's no time for parties.
We're not drinking.
We're not smoking weed. I'll slap the dog shit out of somebody that offers me, yo, yo, Nick, you wanna, you wanna go to this party, bro? I'll slap the dog shit out of you. I'll be in'm saying, bro muted Muted muted you're drinking right now. Yeah, but today's a challenge wait, how many wait chat? All right Just so we're on track
One two Three four
Five 3 4
5
We're 5 deep
Let's get number 6 ready to go Cause I've lost 7 games So I have 2 more beers to go We're 5 deep But yeah, that's kind of what I'm trying to say to you guys is There's no time for bullshit. Who typed in the clan?
Clan what is up? Can't wait for beer six and seven. Ian, seriously Ian? Seriously I? Clan what is up? I'm actually pretty drunk.
Hit a lip with me at worlds. Who's going to C worlds cuz chat I might go to worlds I might not I don't want to make a commitment and then not commit to it I might go to worlds I don't know the thing is bro I really don't leave the house that's the thing like I only leave the house to go to the gym clan dinner at worlds guys that's not happening yo if you think there's gonna be a clan dinner at Worlds, you're fucking crazy.
Bro, someone's gonna jump. If Riley qualls, you need to go. That's the thing. If Riley qualls for Worlds on Saturday, I might actually go. If Riley doesn't quall, I probably won't go.
Ian, I love you brother. Dude, that's the thing if Riley If Riley goes for worlds, I probably will go. Cuz I love Riley Bro chat Riley is such a good fucking dude, bro. Y'all don't even know bro. Like all like on stream, off stream Riley is such a good fucking dude. He's so easy to like root for. I just, I love people that are like, just so pure, bro. Riley's such a good fucking dude, man.
Chat, we, dude, on Saturday, we are definitely watch partying Riley. I really do love Riley, bro. He's a really good dude. He's so just, that is so cool. Okay, wait, wait, hold on this guy's goblins sign. We look at the vines
We look in vines for scientists. No, I finds too late. He got his ability off Yeah, I'm not even playing good All right, this is beer number six, let's dial in chat focus, bro Dude I fucking love rally, bro. All right, chat. This is beer number six.
Remember, we need to drink seven beers, bro. We're currently at, we've completed five. We're currently on beer number six. We need to drink seven beers
because we've had seven losses.
We're a man of our word. We don't bullshit. We don't beat around the bush. We don't lie. We always make no promises. That's part of being a man of your word Two more beers to go and we're even I'm actually starting to play better
Which is weird cuz I'm I am five beers deep And I don't drink so I am a lightweight and I've said this from the start of the stream. I am a lightweight So we're actually playing quite well. I'm not
I'm gonna find this bro. Why does the scientists get his ability off when I?
Why does the scientists actually get his ability off every time this card is fucking annoying this card is annoying as fuck Bro, he gets his ability off every time this shit is annoying
Wait that boulder lineup was so clean. The boulder hit the skeletons-er, the scientist. Chat, that's what I'm saying to y'all, bro. Like, what was I saying earlier? Yeah, bro, that's what I was saying. Chat, you don't need a fucking drill.
Stop thinking.
You think that you're being fucking grateful for your ass? What you need is a fucking brick. Stop thinking. You think that you're being fucking great. What you need is the fucking gem. That's what you fucking need.
You don't need a brick.
Get the Goblin Sign off my tower
and then I can minion warfare.
You don't need a desk. That's what you need. There we go.
Why did his push just do 3000 damage? I'll put a hold on this desk. Wait, giant, graveyard, and then I could have vines and maybe dragon so the graveyard kills
him.
And then I see the dragon.
We did no damage. We did no damage.
Cheat key. I spent 20 elixir and I did no damage.
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