A los 9 años me secuestraron y me entrenaron para matar | Beto #Penitencia 177 #entrevista #México

Penitentiary, through Fundación Reinserta, supports children in contact with violence. You to the normal. The story of Beto forces us to look at what happened when growing up means adapting to abandonment, when the street becomes a school and violence ceases to be an exception to become reality. Not from quick judgment or from easy compassion,

but from a question that is even more uncomfortable. How does an identity form when there was never a safe place to return to? In this episode, we hear a man ¿Cómo se forma una identidad cuando nunca hubo un lugar seguro al cual volver? En este episodio, escuchamos a un hombre que desde el penal intenta reconstruir su historia sin pedir absoluciones. Su testimonio atraviesa el abandono institucional, la normalización del daño y las decisiones que se toman cuando sobrevivir es lo único que realmente importa. Aquí buscamos entender qué ocurre cuando el silencio, la violencia repetida y la ausencia total de intervención

empujan a alguien cada vez más lejos, hasta que regresar parece imposible. Esto es Penitencia. Gracias por escuchar. Si este episodio te confronta o te incomoda, quédate, suscríbete y acompáñanos.

Aún faltan muchas historias por contar. subscribe and join us. There are still many stories to tell.

Alberto, welcome to Penitentiary. Thank you, Emma.

And thank you for being here. Thank you for your trust. Thank you for daring to do something very brave, because your story is very hard. Very hard. In my eyes, very unfair.

And I hope that stories like yours make us think about how we, as a society, failed a boy.

All of us.

All of us, yes.

Let's start from the beginning.

Highs and lows.

Highs and lows, without a doubt. But tell me from the beginning. Tell me about your childhood.

What can I tell you, little sister? I don't have a family. The rock that was in my womb threw me in Tlalpan.

How old were you?

About 15 days old. There's a house in Tlalpan. That's where he threw me. Until I was five years old, a whore adopted me.

With her wife.

From the DIF? No, it was a private web. And at five years old, they adopted me.

That asshole and his wife, right?

We don't like it.

I killed him.

Tell me how was your life with your adoptive parents.

One year I only lasted with them.

From five years old to six years old.

No?

When we got to the first... The first day at their house, they bought me some fish bones from the butcher shop. And I was a stupid kid, I didn't know how to eat. And as soon as I took the skin off, I was embarrassed. And he tied me up and chained me up with the dog. And I was there for a year.

He beat me up. For five years? He beat my mother up. He chained me up. He bit me. No? At five years old. I broke my mother's heart. I was in jail. She beat me.

I held on for a year and a half and I went out on the street.

What was your goal? What did she say? Why did she...?

Because of her wife's ass. Since she couldn't have children, I was a payer. But it didn't matter. It was a story I had to live. That's all. I went out... No, pero ni pedo, eso es una historia que me tocó vivir. Nada más. Me salí.

¿Te lograste escapar?

A los seis años.

¿Cómo lograste escaparte?

Me mandaron por nuestro estado a hacer un 15 de septiembre. Y la señora que le ayudaba a la ruca esa no fue. Y bien desesperada y con miedo de que ese güey le arrabie en su madre.

También le pegaba a ella.

Sí. Yes, yes. At six years old, I was fucked. I couldn't take it, I left. You were very young. Yes.

Very young.

I met a super friend. In peace and rest.

You went out on the street?

Yes. I sat in the trucks. Outside, in Tacubaya. I'm talking about the district. I'm from the district. I sat outside in Tacubaya. And a guy came up to me. Yeah, he's a circle way. He may be okay. Don't suck asses Nada, no, she yando. Miss morrow say sang sin conocer a nadie He let me think I'm a basketball in my cousin

He may have a succulent era no observatory. Oh, I just took a connect one. I know this place I was with him for a year. Then I saw the money I made.

How was it to live in a brothel? What memories do you have?

It was my family.

For the first time you had a family?

In quotes.

In quotes because everyone is in their own shit. Some are drug addicts, others... Everyone is in their own shit. You take care of yourself. There's no one there. If you get sick, if you get cured, if you die, no one will cry for you. We're just street dogs.

Until I was eight years old, I went to La Merced, to Coladera 16. That's where I was, that's where I am. How was a day for you, living the street after you escaped? I would get up early in the morning from the laundry and I would go out and start washing the trucks. I started washing trucks. They would send me to get marijuana. I started smoking marijuana.

I would get to the laundry and the roosters were cooking and I would come with any leftovers, right? Chicken guts, any viscera. And there we ate. That was my family. At 7 years old I went to La Merced. There I met my best friends. They were 50, 60, 70, 80 years old.

Those were my friends, little sister.

And were they your friends?

Many, many friends. Wherever they are, I know they are cool. Tell me about them. Muchos, amigos. Que donde estén, yo sé que están chido.

Cuéntame de ellos.

Llego a los siete años a la Merced, y no conozco a nadie. Y me siento en una banca, y enfrente de mí había un escuadrón de la muerte, en aquellos tiempos. Ahora ya no hay.

Y me dicen, ¿y tú qué, chamaco? La calle tiene dueño. And they said, what kid are you? The street has its owner. I know, and more the drains. And if later they let me live, I had to earn it, nothing is free. Nothing is free.

But those rookies taught me to read, taught me to do accounts. No. They taught me that money is for two things, to get rid of you and to enjoy. And I wanted to enjoy it.

How did you start making money?

I was a dragon boy.

What does that mean?

I'd throw fire.

Okay.

And when the windows of the cars were open, I'd steal their bags. Whatever I could. At 9 years old I met a girl named ***. She was older than me. Her father raped her, her grandfather raped her.

And she got there and... she became my girlfriend, right? At 9 years old? Yes. 3 or 4 months after I met her, they kidnapped us. A prostitute, like 10 whores,

and my girlfriend and other girls. And they took us to a... a cellar, you could say. They kept me there for a year and three months. And not just me, but other people, doing exercise, damaging your mind, telling you that you are a piece of shit, you are useless.

Who were these people from La Perrera? What was the objective of having them there?

I'm going there. When I got to that place, when we got there, they started to abuse us.

Pure children? When I got to that place, we started to get beaten.

Purely children? Yes, they started to mistreat us. They started to say that we were their eggs. And if we didn't do anything, they would kill us. And that's how it was. They started to put us to exercise, they started to read us,

they started to put us under covers so we could eat with them, so we can express ourselves. I was like that for a year and three months. In that year and three months, I never took a shower. I was like shitting in my pants, like that, constricted, stinky.

After a while, my girlfriend couldn't take the exercise and they killed her. All the kids that couldn't take it, they were killed. And in the early morning we were going to throw them to the trash. The dogs didn't have owners, nobody complained.

Many of the kids were probably unregistered.

All of them, almost the majority.

And what did they tell you? What were you training for?

They didn't tell us anything. They just made us do exercises. And what did they die of? If you couldn't take it anymore, you would answer or get angry. They would quickly take out the 9 and shoot you.

And we would go.

Goodbye.

There were no complaints, no need to pay anything. Broken plates don't pay. The party was paid. After that time, they bathe me. After a year and three months, they bathe me. They cut my hair.

And they dress me as if I were a punk. And they send me to the chamber of deputies to see Rogelio. I can't tell you the other last name. Rest in peace. And they sent me a yellow envelope,

the same as the one I had before, with a red thread. I don't know if it's still there. Yes, it is.

No?

And I read it and it says that he'll introduce me at 8pm. And he introduced me at 8 at night. And he did. And from that moment on, I knew that the dog, I mean, I already had a owner. That this guy was my owner. That I had to do everything he told me to. And from there my life as a criminal began.

More than I had ever been, you know? Stealing. Because before I only stole. After that training, after all that shit they put in my head, I started doing stupid shit. But it's not because I wanted to, it was my life. At the end of the day, I'm telling you now, I would have been dead, I would have been even more cool.

Because I did a lot of damage to a lot of people, right? Maybe with conscience, yes. Because I was 10 years old. But I did it. I regret it? No, I don't regret it. Because the 8-8 is over.

You can't change the past.

No.

But yes, I did steal newborn bottles.

Let's talk, let's go in parts. Who was this guy? In the end I imagine you found out that he was the son of...

In the end of the story, Manita, all this training that they did to me, they transformed me to work for the government. Ok. But outside. I did the dirty work.

Well, not just me, but several people.

A kind of death squad? Yes, something like that. And what was the dirty work?

Killing those who disturbed you. Making offerings to their dead. Because most of those people, deputies, artists, and all those people, I had the opportunity to eat with them. Because most of those people, congressmen, artists, and all those people, I had the opportunity to eat with them. Many of them, not all of them, right?

But most of them are satanic. They like to do rituals.

Yes, I know.

I went to Veracruz with the kids, and they made their sacrifices there. All those things, manita. I did all that. Kidnapped, killed.

Do you remember the first time you killed someone?

Yes, I was 10 years old. And it was that guy who saw me. I went with my friends and I got him out of his job and I killed him.

What did he do?

He was a judge. He was a judge, that guy.

Did he notice anything in you, killing him?

No, but at least I wasn't hurting more people. Nothing else. I don't know how many kids he f***** up. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm the one who talked. Someone had to end him. And it was me.

I was f***** up. I couldn't teach myself how to write. I couldn't teach myself math. I don't know. I don't know what a family is. But I guess it's something like that.

It's too much. So I just paid him with the same money. That's it. I suffered, and he suffered.

That's it. Nothing else. I suffered, he suffered. Nothing else. The lady... I left the lady.

You let her live? Yes.

Why?

Because in the end, the one who got away was that rascal, right? He was giving us a hard time for everything and for nothing.

Even for...

for talking. How old was that man when you killed him?

He was about 48 years old. About 48 years old. I took him to a neighborhood. I took his nails off his feet and his hands. I burned him.

What did you feel when you made him suffer?

At that time, I was enjoying it.

You enjoyed it?

Yes. At that time, all the memories came. Yes, and this is a moment of love. I was on the And as a moment of union to look at where does this a premier the occasion is mad

in a version of a

Meme back to my hand to me that no me perjudical. Yes, can I Follow me horsey, but give me one beam as my solitary or no In your life? It didn't hurt me. You think it didn't? Maybe it did, because I became more... more lonely, right? I did my work, they sent me with my team, and I did my work alone, right? When they wanted to take action, I had already done it.

I've always been alone. I've never shared alone. I've never shared this with friends. Not being able to express myself, or being afraid to say what you feel, because they'll send you to hell. Because if people criticize you,

you'll end up with a bigger ass than you. No. But... And I killed him, manita. I killed him.

You tortured him and killed him?

Yes. I burned him. I burned him.

And you left him?

Yes.

Did they find him?

But... Who knows who did it? But I can tell you, I did it. At 10 years, 4 or 5 months, I received my first salary. It was 200,000 pesos. I didn't know what amount it was.

It was a lot of money, for me. And from that moment on, my life changed.

And why did they pay you?

Because they steal. What why did they pay you? Because I stole n****s.

What was the purpose of stealing babies?

To take them to different states to make sacrifices, cults.

What do you think of having stolen babies? What did you feel about stealing n****s?

In those moments, I felt that the n****s that I stole from the girl

wouldn't suffer what I suffered. As if you were saving his life?

Or that something happened that I did.

Where did you steal the kids from?

From the streets, from the hospitals. He was a kid. He could go wherever I wanted. And nobody told you anything? Nobody told me anything. hospitals. That's how it was. What else did they do besides steal my money? They told me that my partner was bothering me. I needed to kill them. I kidnapped them, took their money. They took me to the malls and told me to go with that man.

Tell him that I lost you. Tell him to take you to the parking lot. At the parking lot, he would take care of the rest of the work. And I would win. I started living with a lot of people from the community. And things like that.

I worked for all those people. That was my life. My life changed. At 11 years old, I already lived in Polanco. I already had my apartment. But what do you think? I was always alone.

How did you achieve that at 11 years old?

Thanks to my boss. He wasn't my boss, he was my friend.

Well, you can call him a friend, right?

Well, I say that he was my friend, because regardless of all that, I could tell him my things. On these days, I received a hug, a, give him a hug,

a, here we are. And I felt... With that, I felt like a superhero. I felt important. At. I felt important. At least I felt that he cared. At least he was his puppet, if you want to see him like that.

But at that moment I felt important. He loved me for the first time.

You belonged to something.

I belonged. They considered me, right? They considered me to do my things.

And that's why I did it, Manita. Because regardless of the money, I was looking for other things that I never had. And I also realized that money is not everything.

And after all that, I had preferred to live in the slums. Tell me about that. How did you come to that conclusion? When did you start having money?

In the slums you live with what you have, but you don't worry, you don't hurt people. Did you worry about hurting people? At that time, yes. But later, with power. Well, according to me, with power.

Because I didn't do anything.

I felt really bad.

Didn't you see in those videos that you were stealing

your reflection?

I felt... I saw them and I saw myself, my little sister. I didn't know if the person who had that child had gone through the same thing as I did. I told you again, the bitch threw me. On the street I saw a lot of things, more than you can imagine. A lot of suffering, a lot of pain.

What are those memories of having lived on the streets and being a child on the streets?

The ones that taught me to survive, to be worth for myself. I educated myself. I did it myself. Nobody told me, do it like this. My friends told me, go study. They put me in the newspapers, imagine. No. and I was always in the news. They would send me to buy it, they would send me for the touch, and I would spit it out. And when I would punch it and roll it,

they would tell me, sit down like this, put it like this. They had taught me the vowels and all that stuff,

and that's why I learned.

Being able to share a dinner with someone, I don't care if it had been stolen, because there in the Mercedes Being able to share a dinner with someone, right? I don't care if it was stolen, because there in La Merced you find food and booze, thrown away. It didn't matter.

Because at the end of the day, you had someone there by your side. Whatever it was.

You say right now that... that... eventually the money stopped knowing and you would have given anything to return to the street?

Yes.

Why?

Because the money transformed me. In a bad person?

Yes.

Yes.

I was a child, because I was only 18. From 10 to 17 was my fame.

What fame was that?

That one I'm telling you. Having money, changing my cars twice a year at the agency, going wherever I wanted, spending whatever I wanted, buying whatever I wanted, without limits. But what do you think? That I only enjoyed it at the moment.

Because at the end of the day, the dog has always been alone.

Have you ever been arrested?

No, because I was always protected. I'll say it again, I worked for the government.

It's complicated to say you worked for the government.

But it was really like that, because the government was the one who sent me to do the job. The government sent me to this and that direction, and I had to go. I went with someone. You know what you have to do. It was the government. Now it's the general, I don't know what it is now, the militia.

They were assholes. And two or three artists who are still out there. You know their story. If they want to disguise it on TV, it's different.

It's something else.

But even the president gives himself up. Chachara. What is it? It's that easy.

The world of the Sanctuary is a world...

The world of the government, both the government and the Catholicism, the religion is the same. They are the ones who have the power. It's that simple.

And why did they lend themselves to being close to you? Why get involved like that?

Not so much like that, but because...

And I say it not because you are, I say it because of I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I had a kid and he took me. And in another way, I listened. I was malicious to him. And if that guy was a badass, I was a bitch. Because that guy taught me chess. But I learned it by playing. And he forgot.

He forgot many things. But it was survival after survival. But what do you think? That I've always been so stupid, so humble, that I never forgot my diapers. And I always took them to eat.

Always.

To the band of Yabaha?

Yes. Always. Roasted chicken, diapersñales, whatever.

What did the broker give you that didn't give you the privilege of money? Security.

Security. Tranquility. I didn't care if we ate meat or raw chicken guts. But we were laughing.

And with money you can buy the best food, because yes, but...

Sometimes you don't taste anything, right?

You don't enjoy it. You don't enjoy it.

No. It doesn't taste like you. But I never forgot where I came from. No. I was 17 when I was called. I was called and I went. They told me I had to kill my boss, because he was getting in the way. After seven years. And since my boss had been so nice to me,

because he gave me everything, knowing that it wasn't everything he had given me, because it wasn't everything, I went and told him to open their asses. They were going to kill him. It didn't work anymore.

And he told me he was an idiot, that he thought he was a big shot. And what happened? And I opened up. I opened up. A month before I turned 18,

before I retired, I was arrested and taken to the city.

Why? Who kidnapped you?

In 2008. A daughter of a f***ing mayor. Before, it was the local government. Now it's the mayor's office.

How did you end up in the world of kidnapping?

Because... I was taught to get in the trucks and I learn and I like it. And I see that all the people they kidnap weren't from the gas station or butcher's. They were people of money and already given with photographs, families, everything. Well, until what time they shit. And they loosened because they loosened.

And it became easy for me. And I tried it and it worked. And I tried it and it worked. And the profits, the profits were...

Good.

Very good.

Yes, but empty money, right?

At the end of the day I had everything. Motorcycle, car, apartments, but it was useless. That's why I took my stroller to take them to eat every 8 days. Although every 8 days they beat me up for me taking the stroller, because I didn't have to go there anymore. Because my life had already changed,

because I didn't have to mix with those people. Right? And the cops would beat me up and then they would throw me in the toilet. because my life had changed, because I didn't have to mix with those people. And the cops would come up and give me my rock and roll, and then they'd throw me out. But I didn't care. They were my family, in quotes.

In quotes. My little ones, I'll tell you, I saw them die little by little, I buried them. They were my brothers, they were already rich. But they taught me to live.

What is the most valuable thing they taught you? To live.

Your street friends.

To live.

Not to do drugs, to do stupid things. Obviously, I know that drugs don't make you do stupid things. Because that's one thing, drugs don't influence anything. I don't agree you do stupid things. Because that's just one thing. The drugs don't influence anything.

I don't agree with you.

Because I've tried a lot of drugs, fungus, heroin, moth. And all the sensations are different. But at the end of the day, there's something in you that makes you conscious. You don't get lost.

It gives you value, it makes you do other things. But at the end of the day, you know what you're doing. We blame drugs on you. No, it's just one person. I can tell you, I had the balls since I was 10 years old to kill that guy. And I liked the blood.

And I started doing stupid things. The stupid things. Yes, I hurt a lot of people. I'll say it again, I don't regret it. I don't regret it. What I do regret is leaving the brothel.

What I do regret is losing that child.

How do you manage in your person that you killed so many people? How do you sleep knowing that you took so many lives?

I don't sleep anymore. I sleep, I don't rest. There's never peace in you. Well, there's never been in me. Did your story make you crazy? No, but maybe I'm traumatized. How do you define trauma? If I were crazy, I would eat my own shit. And I'm not crazy.

Yes, I'm traumatized. I can't deny it. How do you define trauma? In that... I'm a very explosive guy, you know? I like cleaning my house a lot. And if someone I live with smells my feet,

I start attacking them, I start bothering them, I start fucking them, even if they don't mess with me. The fact that they eat the assholes and chew nothing, it bothers me, it doesn't bother me. And that's where I get all my things.

What trauma did it cause in your life?

The guy when he saw me.

That's why I was asking you if you think it affected you in your life.

The guy when I told him, he was there and he told me, well, you're not even my son, damn it. He was right, I're not even my son, you're a dickhead. He was right. I wasn't his son. And I told him that when I killed him. You're not even my father.

Fuck your mother.

What did he say?

Forgive me.

I didn't have to apologize, I did it. And you were worth it. You sent me to sleep, all full of blood with my dog, and it was worth seeing. Why? Why not me? Why me?

Why would I have compassion for you? What's the difference?

What did I tell you?

That you've been a pain in my life. Because I've never had a baby, I don't know her family. And you don't even talk about love? That's a topic that I don't talk about. After a few years I saw her again. After you killed this guy?

Yes, after two or three years.

I saw her again, I saw her again.

Her name was ******. After you killed this guy? Yes, like after two or three years. I saw him again, I saw her again. The bitch called her... And I took her to eat and I told her to go to hell. I didn't hit her, nothing. But I did buy her a house and I told her to die like a bitch, alone.

No.

And why did you buy her the house?

Because they didn't have to spend my money. That easy. They didn't know what to spend it on.

Why her?

Why not just her? There were a lot of people around me.

Did you have a little compassion for her?

At the time, maybe yes, because Ruka was very scared. She would get up trembling and fall asleep trembling. Because the fucking radio wouldn't turn on unless the guy went to work. And Ruka was very happy, very wet, doing her talacha, singing the Black Cats and all that. But only when she was alone.

When that guy was there.

Nothing.

And that's why I said, go. But at the end of the day, the bitch also... She didn't give a f*** when I told her the things.

Do you know who your biological mom is? No.

For now I don't know if I'm Mexican or not. I don't know anything about that, about my life.

Do you have any documentation?

Those a**holes registered me.

Those guys registered you.

But they only did my birth certificate. I didn't take it into account. And if it exists, it should be there. But I'm not interested.

What's your name?

Alberto.

And last name?

I changed it. I changed it. That last name wasn't for me.

No, that last name doesn't belong to you.

It wasn't for me. Sorry, that last name doesn't belong to you. It wasn't for me.

I'm sorry, I messed up.

It doesn't matter. That last name wasn't for me. And yes, I know I hurt a lot of people.

Right?

Do you regret anything?

No.

Nothing.

Would you do it all over again?

Maybe yes.

Maybe yes.

If I had to go through the same story because if I had to go through the same story where I had a dad or a mom that I had a temper and they were with me maybe my life wouldn't have been like this. But since the bitch

got in there like a dog in the house, from there I already got traumatized from there, your life is not worth it anymore. I'm a hero I can come up around like I said that is I am a metro man It does that you yeah to be that you know, I live in the content I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna cut that when I was the adoptant the less entranced

entrecomillas Papelis In a so-called police I have a MacArthur when the lack of a sadistic and I've got it out of a no Okay, no podium on the name is because I couldn't keep it to myself. If you're good, it's her fault. Who knows if it's true.

You hate her a lot, right?

Too much. Too much, because even if the bitch didn't have to feed me, now I can tell you that even if I ate beans, we would have survived. Really. And I'm not nobody,, I'm not nothing.

But I do feel capable of being a mother. And I would have treated her like a mother. I told her.

Don't tell me.

If here, in jail, I buy my shoes, I buy my things, right?

You told her?

Not with the flow, no. Because she didn't see me in jail anymore.

The... the...

The rock. He didn't see me in jail anymore.

No?

But if I do it here, imagine on the street. More gacho. And with power, no. Fuck, no?

How do they stop you, Alberto?

They send me to talk, for a meal. And they tell me to come and see them, that they had a job for me. And I was like, what the fuck? And they were nothing like that. The police was already there.

They took me to the North Prison in 2008. On November 24, 2008, I was taken to the North Prison.

That was when you had a kidnapper. They had kidnapped him there and you had. He was kidnapped and you released him.

Yes, I released him. He was the daughter and... What do you call the... His fiancé, his fiancé. I don't know if you know, but I'm his partner,

but his mother, his mother-in-law. His daughter and her son-in-law. They were in the police force. They were a delegation. It was the delegation of...

In what year?

In the year... 2005, 2006, that's when I was kidnapped. In 2007, I was taken to jail, on November 24th.

Because of that kidnapping?

Yes.

But I spent two years in the North.

I got there and... But you were 17, right? I was one month away from turning 18. Why did they put you in the North?

I'll say it again, I worked for those guys.

Those guys do what they want.

The government does what it wants.

The government is going to get you out of everything. That easy. If they wanted to, they'd get me out of it. But they don't. They don't. They don't.

They don't. They don't. You know everything. It's that simple. And if you wanted, you could take me out with the tip of your... But you don't do it. You don't do it. Because you know that if you do it, you'll get a beating. I'm not going to die. We're all going to die.

Fear of death. There's no such thing, sis.

In your case, fear of living, right?

Living one more day, and what are you going to do? Nothing. Well, who are you talking to?

Nobody.

And here, what do you know what you're talking about? Pure shit. Because most of this generation are having some fucking great fucking parties, manita.

Right?

When it's not true. When you know it's not true, entonces mejor te alejas. ¿No? En aquellos tiempos, manita, en el 2008, en el... ¿acá? Era una cárcel bonita,

en donde te rifabas por lo tuyo. En donde si caminabas de blanco, era porque, ¿no? Te lo merecías.

Y eso es bonito. And that's beautiful. Many would think that it's more beautiful now that the situation is calmer. Not when the jail was full of statues and all that.

But now that the situation is calmer, people abuse. People want to talk to you. Many people want to talk to you. When you slap them, they get angry. People have changed the system to live like this. But before, no. Before, it was your respect, your place. People have changed the system to live like this. But not before.

Before, it was your respect, your place.

It depends on how you define respect.

The fact that they don't mess with you. The fact that they tell you, Camara, I brought you a coffee. Camara, let's have a drink. Not the fact that they are messing with you. Lend me your sneakers. Or your visitor comes and loosens. Let's fuck a little bit. Not the fact that they're fucking you.

Lend them your sneakers. Or your visitor comes and loosens. What happened? Respect is earned. Sure, before as before, now as now. No problem, that's how we have to live.

So you were caught for that kidnapping?

Yes.

How old were you for that kidnapping?

72 years and 6 months. For that one only?

Yes. And that one you're paying right now? Do you have another one?

No.

Just that one?

Just that one.

Do you take them? But I know that if I go out, the other folders are there and they go to the booth. That simple. Maybe you'll end up going out when you're 72. First, I have no one to see. I have no family. I'm not interested. Second, I can live here.

Yes, it's a big difference. Maybe I'm a bit older now. But it's for you. It's not for me. Are you okay here? I've been like this that I was born, until now that I'm 36 years old, it's like that, alone. So, why go out?

With what purpose? So easily, manita, if they offer me 5 million and tell me, do this, play, I'm going to do it, because I'm going to go out like a dog. And I need to eat. I need to get dressed.

A car. Right? To go to the line. Well, at least I'm okay with it. Because if I go around begging, we won't have any money left.

Honestly. So, what's the point? You just said it. I've already hurt a lot of people. A lot.

And I can still hurt more people.

Why?

Because I'm traumatized. Because I have a lot of demons.

Beto, if we go to another moment, where that lady hadn't abandoned you, where that couple hadn't hurt you to the point where your life wouldn't have been abandoned. Where that couple would not have hurt you. Where your life would not have been in the slums. Where would have been your dreams? What would you have liked? That Beto of 6 or 7 years.

I always wanted to be an aviator pilot. Always.

Fly.

Yes.

You would have liked that.

Yes, but now I just fly. But in my mind. You fly.

Nothing else.

That's my hallucination, that's my journey. There's nothing else. If they had offered me a plate of soup, maybe I wouldn't be here.

The system screwed you.

Maybe not the system, no. The people who put me on the path.

The system screwed you.

Yes, you think?

Yes.

In the end, the system or the cycle, you really mark it, but you repeat it. Even if I wanted to say no, but I had to. A commitment became an obligation. It was no longer a favor, it was an obligation.

That's how it was. We went to the Catemaco cults, the underground ones, In Catemaco, it was underground. We were going and... We were just doing... I don't speak for the others, I was just doing stupid things. I would put the kids there,

peace, peace, and... Camera, they start the camera and you go.

Papers.

But what a trance. I need a BMW. You already had it last week. And it was easy.

Yeah, but they're empty, they don't fill up.

But, that empty space, you wanted to fill it up with other things.

Yeah, but they don't fill up.

When you finally realize, you're right, you're never going to fill it up. And you'll be like that for 50, 60 years. And you won't fill it up, really. And a lot of people will tell you that you're shit. Yes, we are shit. Or I am shit.

I don't think so.

But... I'm one of those people who think that... destiny is already written. And your story was already been told. Just live it. Just enjoy it.

Me? Maybe I'm an idiot in my mind. Maybe my ideas and my thoughts are not so cool.

But your story is...

But that's how it is. That's how I am. That's how I am. And I prefer to take a break, right? Do sports and play basketball or do sports.

At least prison gives you that stability.

I take a shower and if I live tomorrow, it's cool.

Do you feel that prison contains you?

In many things. In too many things. I limit myself. And you just said it. It's not good anymore. it's not being used anymore. It's not being used anymore.

Before you had your kids and you lived like a queen. Now you ask them for a coffee and it's extortion. It changed. For many, I'll repeat it again, that according to them they feel like criminals, that according to them they are the gan, that according to them, the government,

for many it changed for me. Because they already talk very shit, they already walk like real pigs. But for many, like for me, in the economic system, it really fucked me up.

Because if before I bought some agency sneakers every three months, now I buy them every six months, if you understand me, a set because not because the dog does not have an owner, it does not mean that it cannot be seen, it is cool, not because the dog does not have an owner, that does not mean that it has fleas, what happened? And many people of people, that's why, that's why it's not like that. Because if the dog is not sold to the owner,

they want to see it cheap. Do you understand me? Then people criticize you, but the same people are the ones who make you be a whore with them. Because they come to see them,

because they deposit them. When you take them away, they don't deposit you anymore. Oh, daddy. What is it, little brother? What is it? You can't do it anymore.

What opportunity have you had, Beto, here in jail to break that dynamic that was creating you out there? Have you been able to study?

I don't like school. Maybe because I never went. I don't take interest in it. I do read books. I like to read books. I like to know.

No?

Not for school?

No.

I like to study. Read a lot of the Bible.

Do you work here?

I distribute the ranch. I'm a Bible reader. Do you work here? I'm a delivery man. I'm a talachero. You're a talachero? I'm not a delivery man.

You're a chuleta.

I'm not a chuleta. It's not that I like it, but if there's no mom with a gun, or dad with a gun, where do I start? You want to go to the bathroom, and there, like when we're up there in Naranja. Shits, a bathroom and potatoes. But if you're here, can't you buy yourself a nice little piece of paper?

That's it. Nothing else. Survive day by day.

How many years do you have left to go out?

A lot, I'm only 18. And I'm telling you again, who knows if I'll go out. I'm it again. Who knows if it comes out. I have no interest. The fact that I move some papers.

What do you think was your purpose of being born, of living? Why are you in this world?

I don't know. I don't know.

Are you going to ask for an account one day?

Just one, right? You just have to give accounts to one.

Do you believe in him? Just the one. Do you believe in him?

Just the creator.

Do you believe in him?

Not in Jesus Christ. Not in Jesus Christ. Who do you believe in?

In the creator.

In the one who created the universe and all the planets and all that.

And why do you think I believe you?

You don't believe me.

What? Maybe you don't believe me. No, no, no importa si te creo o no, pero mi pregunta es, ¿por qué crees tú que él te creó a ti?

Pues a lo mejor tengo algo que hacer aquí.

¿Qué crees que sea eso? No lo sé. Todavía no sabes.

A lo mejor nada más viene a chingar. Nada más viene a dañar a mucha gente, a perjudicarla.

¿Crees que él haya creado a alguien así?

Él a lo mejor... Es que... Maybe he allows everything, right? Good and bad, right? And maybe it was part of my life to live it. There are many children who are not even born yet, they are already dead. They don't get it.

And then I repeated it, I also wanted to commit suicide.

I couldn't.

I wanted to hang myself. I couldn't.

I wanted to hang myself. Those motherfuckers would break. The bullets wouldn't do anything. I didn't get hit. Maybe I have to pay for all the fucking shit I've done. I'm a whore, I'm a dog, I'm sick. I'm a man. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit.

A little bit. A little bit.

A little bit.

A little bit. And then, you pay because you pay. That's it. And the rest is another thing. That's how 20 years go by, but you're going to pay. And I've learned that. People who, according to what they say, don't pay because they pay. What happened? Before you leave, you pay.

Yes.

You can't leave without paying. I've understood that. You can't leave without paying.

Alberto, thank you for talking to us.

No problem.

Thank you for telling your story. Thank you for your courage.

It's something that...

And thank you for your strength. I'm really sorry about the life you had.

I had to live. It's history.

I'm really sorry.

No problem. Maybe in another life I'll have something better.

We'll see.

And if not, we'll repeat it again.

No, no more.

It's okay.

I hope so.

It's okay.

For the good of you and many more people.

It's okay, little hand. We have to do it. We have to do it. We have to do it. Thank you.