ALTER EGO I FT. GABY MENDOZA

♪♪ Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I hope I get paid for the gas right now, because who would believe this? I'm sure I'll get 100,000 views on this fucking episode and I'm not going to monetize shit.

So I'm going to take the money out of her. What else? What else? She's a showgirl, she's a comedian, and she kisses all heterosexuals. I'm jealous of that, to be honest, the daughter of her fucking mother.

With you, Gab love? I'm in fashion. I can't say I'm pretty because I've had so many surgeries, I don't know if I have an eye up, one down, one in the middle. But here we are. I'd tell you how pretty you look, but... I'm pretty, without makeup. You're dressed very weird, like...

Very... You're not dressed weird? You're not dressed weird? and you don't come to see Ruan? You don't come to see Rita? Yes, but I eat this, it's my character, it's my daily life. I don't need any character, and I feel that you, I mean, anyone can be your character. What you need to do is be reborn to see if you can cast a spell again.

Oh, you idiot, you're going to throw it at me.

Friend, what a pleasure!

Welcome to this podcast show, I loved the decoration of the kitchen. It's... I mean, everything you see looks great. An artificial plant here in the kitchen. No, it's artificial, you idiot. No, artificial, only you.

No, you too. Look how beautiful. Here's the soil. Look, the same color of the English you have. Gotcha. Let's open up and see what's in the black man. You? I think it's you. No. I did a blanking. Of everything.

Yes? I want to do a blanking. You can't because you don't have money.

Oh, you're right.

Thank you for the invitation. You're welcome. To see if now you're going to start eating and if you pay for your trucks that you owe right now. Because you're too much to pay for 24 years. No, I don't want to tell you, but I have to be here to give you content.

Thank you.

I was surprised how you drink. How your life is alcoholic instead of going to the gym, or going to the bike. I go to the gym, I go to the bike, I go to everything. Only that here people like to see alcoholic people, and that's why I brought you. No, I've been drinking since I'm a Christian. Oh, go up! I can't say bad words anymore.

In fact, my life has changed a lot. You're going to run out of food. No, I don't think so. God bless you, I'm going to tell you something. This is a hobby for me. I'm a godfather.

I have houses on rent. I have trucks against it, but I'm going to tell you something, I'm going to tell you something,

I'm going to tell you something,

I'm going to tell you something, I'm going to tell you something, I'm going to put me as a puppy and he left me tied to a tree for three years. I'll tell people that. I'm going to tell you something. I have nothing against those guys,

those rich guys. I love them. How rich? Well, I mean, tasty. So, it's not a problem. You're not going to be jealous. Look at her face. No imperfections, no surgery, nothing. Oh, go to hell.

You're more surgery than Wendy.

No.

Yes, of course. But Wendy doesn't stay. I already stayed.

And what support does she have to support you?

Yes, poor Wendy.

She has to kill herself to be reborn.

You think?

Yes, of course. She's very ugly. This is like, it's like it stayed in a... It didn't transition so much to human. Like it's between Chango and Homo Sapiens. Like it's a kind of something that has to be reborn. Like instead of folic acid, it was muriatic acid

and it's going to destroy everything.

Cheers, friend. Cheers. Let's toast to the men who filled us with caresses and kisses and in the morning they wake us up and tell us, Jotos son mil quinientos pesos. Brindale. Y brindemos por el y por las madres de ellos, que los hizo tan bellos para sentarnos en ellos. No, yo no brindo ese. No me gusta ese.

¡Me gusta la verga!

Pero el que sí es de los perros dicen wow, los gatos dicen miau, y las zorras dicen, amiga, perdón, no sabía que era tu ex. ¡Grrrr! con que? Y una tiene por donde y el pelado con que? Al pelado se le responde. Yo no tengo problema en mantener a los hombres. No, eso es muy triste. Yo tampoco tengo ningún problema, pero siento que es muy triste.

Pero si has mantenido uno. No, de mantener o no. No ha llegado, lleguen. Pues yo si quiero mantener a uno. Yo la verdad, la semana hace como... You think? Yes Last week I went to Macallan Do you know Macallan? No Why? You don't have a visa? Well, not that much, Jota!

You think you're so good, bitch, that I have money and apartments and trucks and no visa? No, because you don't buy a visa If I didn't, I would have bought 10 No, I bought mine What? How? Well, because It a lot of them. I'm being a tooth. I think I got a Fijate que te voy a decir algo. Llegué inmediatamente me la dieron.

Yo creo que a ti no te la van a dar. Pero por qué? Por tu rostro y por tu color de piel y todo eso. Mi amor, tú estás más pretita. No, chécate el brazo. No, amiga, mira, mira. Mira, mira. Look, there we are, very pretty. People vote and vote, and the one that is whiter, let them transfer us.

They are calling you on your old phone. It's the consulate.

Well...

Poor thing. Yes, what's up, please? The elevator. I tell you that the last time I went to Macalé, I got a very rich bald guy. And how much did you pay him?

Like...

How much more? Like $3,500. You know how much dollars are, right? Or you only know Mexican dollars. J, you're such an idiot. You can even get a Peña Nieto there. If you're giving that money.

No, it's just that when you win, and you want to pay the kid, he eats whatever he wants. I've never kept the desire for any. The kid... I want to explain something that does surprise me, is that there are different pitos. There's the right pito, there's the curved pito, there's the pito down, the pito up, that hurts a lot. The guy from Macallan took it out,

and he had it in a zigzag, the pito. I said, I have to get this one. I got it, it looked like the horoscopes of Durango. How stupid. No puedo. Ah, eres envidiosa. No, soy envidiosa, pero no le vas a saber entender porque habla inglés, bebé, es de Macalien. No pasa nada, pues, es Chad GPT, en Putiza. ¿Sí sabes hablar inglés?

No.

¿Por qué? ¿Tampoco?

No.

Entonces, ¿qué sabes, puta? sounds. And you'd say, he's a bald guy. He's fast, he's Uber, he's a cashier, they're all. Well, yes, my life is very sad, the truth is I'm going to commit suicide right now. What a shame, the truth. No, because I know how to do a lot of things. I know how to entertain people and I know how to revive careers.

Like, for example, today, because he was coming to my house, and he was not invited to any big podcast. And so, obviously, nobody knows him. He's there in his fucking bubble in Monterrey, going to Macallan to fuck men who have wives and who will never give him the love he deserves. And he spends, and spends, and spends money.

That's the only thing you know how to do.

Or am I wrong?

And you stink like shit. And I just took a dump, right? Yeah, mr. Saber no, yeah, cowboy to paranoia

Me fascina know del vigilante mi caseta I see take a

You're a good work. Mira vida solo a una como que ahora me van a criticar y me van a decir un close-up Yo por ti o por ti o por ti o por ti que estás viendo este video estas criticantes diciendo Hi, yo no más con mi novio y que estudio lo otro y que no pago por favor I'm not criticizing, I'm just saying, I'm just with my boyfriend, and this and that, and I don't pay, please. We've all paid, we've all taken with a cousin, with a relative, with a marihuana, with the one that cleans your car, the windshield, with everything, you're a whore, you love to fuck, you love to sit, and if you're going to sit,

you're going to fly.

Ay, Decato! I'm gonna be a faggot. I'm gonna be a faggot. I'm gonna be a faggot. I'm gonna be a faggot. I'm gonna be a faggot.

I'm gonna be a faggot.

I'm gonna be a faggot.

I'm gonna be a faggot. I'm gonna be a faggot. when you don't have enough money to pay a man, you choose your friends to go and you sell them the event. Here the detail is that I have two girls living in my house, because how have you done it?

And you have done it?

Yes, I'm dirty. Well, yes, you look dirty. I love everything, I mean, while they are giving me money, Gabriela and Daniela are the ones who live with me, and we have sexual relations and everything. Yes, I picked them up. Where did you pick them up? I was driving my truck in Monterrey, and I brought a truck. I bought a Bronco 1026.

I was driving on the train tracks, and I saw them kissing. I saw them dirty and dirty, and I said, can I do this? Social work? Yes, of course, and they are my friends. So I picked them up, I gave them work at home, one helps me clean the house, Let me travel with my cousin. I'm a new that was a All in parallel, I say the other composite. I'm asking a corner. Let me know gasoline era

Yeah, but you seem pretty much a restaurant. I'm gonna be a poor man. We're both a quick I see I better I don't know Do you guys put a bottle of chemistry? He's a chemist. He's a chemist. He's a chemist. We'll expect a cool article. I'm a walker. It's a new placard Well, I do accept it. If I told him, you look very different, I think we all change in cameras and in person. Well, you still look like a whore. You think?

Yes, a lot. But with money. And they can take me. We have to go up to the Ring Royal, bitch. And they'll give you all your fucking money. No.

Why?

I don't know.

You already have the helmet. Like a Bratz from the toy that I don't know, like it's never going to exist. You stupid asshole, how dare you? Would you get on?

I would.

Would you go to the famous people's house? If they invite me, yes, if they pay me, yes. Because you're unknown, you wouldn't go to the famous people's house. You think? You would go to anyone. No, no. Yes, of course. I'm with a very heavy bald guy here in Mexico City. Yes? He's 154 pounds.

Oh, really?

He's like the bald guy, really. Do you like them like that? Have you ever had a fat guy? Oh, girl, I love it. It's two sensations. That you do and you like.

One when you get up, and another when you get down. but big, like who can tell you? Like Salmita, Salmita baby, before surgery, this big. And he got on me and said, move, move, and I said, get off, you idiot, you can't, it's too much. But you know what I love a lot? What's your favorite sexual position?

Like, that you like more, that you say, I enjoy this one a lot. I like the dog one, honestly. Thieves. And of course, whatever they want, I'll be Terian. What dog would you be? I would be... The cheapest one?

No, poor thing, you'd be like a cholo squinkle. What's that? A cholo squinkle? Well, that's horrible. Without hair, ugly, and stuff. Although...

Do you realize?

No, I do have a Pomeranian. No, my love. You got pretty mad. No, I was disgusted. Why disgusted? Because I imagined you as a puppy and you disgusted me. No, you were disgusted with the drink?

No, I would be like a Golden.

Oh, poor thing!

To begin with, you don't even have the port. And the croquettes would look bad on you. You know what I like the most? That you have an economic flip-flop, like a problematic lady. Well, look, look at the flip-flop. Here is the problematic lady flip-flop. Like, there you go, let's go. Like you're going to... let's go, man. And you dress like a bitch. Look, I brought a simple hologram fabric dress, but if you see it, people are going to say, dude, how much does it cost? No, no, no, they're going to say, the little banana show transitioned.

No, no, don't confuse me, baby. I've lost, give me the little piece. No, no, no, the little banana show. Leave it, and the people here are laughing. We would have charged a ticket. Because, uh-huh, idiots.

They're not going to pay, they're not going to eat it. It's like the bar is empty. You're not going to eat me. Even if you get a peda, I'm not going to eat you. You're going to disgust me. To start, I wouldn't eat someone like you. Why? Because I feel like messing with you is like going to the Razor.

You're going to get pissed. And I feel like you're a dirty person. No, I course not. Look, smell me. It smells weird. No, it smells good, asshole. It smells expensive. It smells like the lasagna you gave me just now.

Go see it. Yes, because let me tell you how well she talked to me. She said, Gaby, I want you to go to the podcast and I don't know what's on the show. I said, yes, go. I've been doing this for like four weeks. Three days. Three days? I knew it. And that bitch did it. That bitch did it. Well, I didn't know she did it.

Well, she did it. But she did it, so I'm liking it. No, she did it for you. She told me, this bitch is coming, she doesn't have a good taste. And she always eats a lot of... I'm worried you're going to take it all in because I want to make you look good. It's Monday, people. I'm going to tell you right now, it's Monday. Oh, because this is recorded. Don't think that...

Nobody knows. ...that I'm going to be like this, that I'm going to be like that, etc. No, no, no. All the people, that stupid thing that believes in live shows Not all of Monterrey lie. All of Monterrey. For example, Mike Salazar doesn't do live. My husband, Mike Salazar. I love him, I want to invite him. He doesn't even love you because he doesn't even know you.

No, yes.

I asked him because...

We were in LOL together. You're never going to be in LOL, right? You're not a comedian, you're nothing. Who are you? I can't be at your level or answer to you. No, never. If you realize that everything is attacking me, I can't attack you because you don't have a theme. No, attack me. I'm attacking you and you don't have a theme.

Your life is not a conversation, a podcast, a show. Your life is nothing, man. There's nothing to talk about. You've been through so many realities. Have you won one?

No.

Then you're not a subject. No, I've only entered a reality show. Which one?

LOL.

And you won?

I was the first one to leave. What do you care? What happened? There it is. So there's no subject. What's the point of talking if you didn't even make it to the finals, bitch? No, but I was with Eugenio Derbez and he told me a lot of things. And look, I'm still intact. I'm going to drink it all. Cheers. Pour one for this cat. No, for me, a bottle. I'm a bottle person.

I'm very drunk, I love everything. You're a snack and a drinker. Thanks to the production. How long ago did you drink that? I'm going to applaud you. No, this is the cheapest one.

I'm going to applaud you for having a great team. I don't know why your team can stand you. I mean, being so ugly, fat, egocentric,

a jerk.

Because you were a jerk. Tell the people that they asked you for a picture at the airport. Fuck your mother. The one who comes from Oviaje is you, asshole. And you just told me that you have denied many pictures. He told me that right now in the casino,

that he was in Monterrey, very cool, that 10 people approached him. I was in Monterrey, and it was great, and ten people came up to me, ten people to tell me, Gabi, Gabi, and you can have a bite, watch out, Gabi, Gabi, a photo, and she turned around and said,

no, because I'm playing right now. Right? Well, you go to the casino to play. Sure, but you owe them, and you're playing with because it moves so nicely.

It's moving!

I mean, I said it's raining or because you're so soaked. I mean, from this part of the face. I'm going to take you to get some tricks done on your face.

I already do tricks.

Well, you can't tell, like you'reseo aceite de cocina. Un saludito a la doctora Karen Carrillo, que es la mejor de todo México. ¿A poco? Por supuesto. Yo quiero agradecerle a mis doctores, César Agundiz y Irving Cano de Elite de Tijuana, que son buenísimos.

Con ellos me echo todo el rostro. ¿Y dónde está su local de la carnicería? I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I realized you're well-prepared. Since I got here, he told me, how many bottles of water do you want? I said, just one.

And he came to me like this,

well, I'll give you the account number.

Well, of course, because nothing is free here. Because you have to be paying me to be standing here. Oh, poor bitch. If you still paid me for the flight and sent me in seat number 39. I'm going to drink it so that your mother can see you. No, no, no. Wait, wait.

Pour it from here.

No, no, no. Let's see. Loba, I want to see. So that it can be seen that you drink and you put men in your house and they steal you and

so on. How pretty you look drinking. I feel like you're like a capybara. Go drink it.

Oh no, that's bad. You look so pretty when you drink. I feel like you're a capybara. Go drink it! Oh no, that's so bad. No, and yes, you ate the lasagna, yes bitch, yes! It smelled pretty bad, like old man's shit. I've always said that

I'll pass at 35. And life will say no, and you'll last 90 years, and you'll shit yourself, and there won't be one to clean you up. And you're going to die like this, old, ugly, alone and without money. Because all the men are going to take it.

You think?

Of course. I don't think you'll last. At your age you look like this, very miserable. No, but I don't want to last. You're looking like an idiot. If you're looking at the glass alone, it's because I already drank it. Pass the production, idiot. What production? You should have a bartender instead of the plant. He's here serving.

Oh, that's true. See? Besides being a comedian, I'm also a producer. You should produce more because you look like a whore. No, I'm going to produce your show for you. You're telling them that they're going to win. No, not them, you. Why?

Because it's very simple. What do I need? You need everything. You need talent, grace, content, what to talk about. Because you say pure bullshit and people are like... And what do you do?

I kiss men.

Oh, that's more cool. That's more cool because there are a lot of prostitutes out there who kiss men and they get paid. And I also do magic. And you?

What do you mean magic?

Because I disappear it like this.

With the mouth and the ass. Are you active or passive?

It depends on the client.

Client? You're a whore. Oh no, please, dude. It depends on who touches you. For example, if I'm touched by a bald guy who looks like a big guy, like heavy, like rich, then obviously I'm going to get mad. But if I'm touched by a female hot girl who looks like a croptop, then obviously I'll get mad, like you.

You'll get mad? Not at you, you embarrass me.

You embarrass me, you make me feel like... But now you'll see, voy a transicionar. ¿En qué? Y ahorita me vas a decir si me coges o no.

¿Por qué?

Ven, te voy a invitar.

¿A dónde? Ven, ven mi amor. Ay Jota, tú estás loca. I'm going to turn to the camera and tell me if we don't look like Lapisito and Lapisito. The truth. No, you look like a monster. But you know what I'm thinking?

That I turned to my old self and it was when I was fat.

Fuck you!

I swear, before the mini-bypass, this is how I looked. And you brought me this one before the bypass. Yes, I brought you that one. I feel like I look more like the gum because I feel very big headed But where? Big headed where?

Here

Really? No, look

I look really weird to you

I feel like I'm talking to myself What would you say to yourself? What would you say to yourself? Like you and me before No, because you were really fat Yes, I was fat like you No, not like me What would you say? A ti misma. A ti misma. A ti misma. A ti misma. A tu yo de antes.

A tu yo de antes. No, no, no, porque si estabas muy gorda, pendeja. Si, si estaba gorda como tú. Pues no, no, no, como yo no. A ver, ¿qué le dirías? Gaby, prepárate porque vienen muchas cosas para ti.

Va a haber muchas caídas. because you're going to the US, get ready. Oh no, I feel good! That's weird! Yeah, I've never done this before. I'm going to tell you, you and I from before to now. Gaby, eat a Trident because your ass still stinks. I've always said, the ass has to stink because it's ass. The mouth has to stink because it's mouth. The armpit has to stink because you sweat.

But you already smell a lot like a farm. is I feel like it's a very delicate topic. So we don't touch it? How delicate? Why? I feel like I'm already very married to the character. I don't know if I should tell you. Tell me. You already said it. I give you the premission.

Please. I think I hit you in the eye and I feel like you're looking at the comal. I feel like that, but I don't know if it's normal or not. I see half of it. I'm seeing that 50% is here. I see one eye there and another one there. The eye looks like the Beto.

We're going to call you the Beto. We're going to call you the Beto. Why? The crooked Beto. One side and the eye. No, you look pretty. Close your eyes. But no. Wait, close it from here.

Ahhh!

Girl, I felt lesbian! We're lesbians! Well, cheers! Because now we're talking! What first? Oh, the first, you idiot!

You see, we're leaving. I have to tell you a first and I'm going to throw it in your... guacala. I have to tell you a scoop and I'm going to throw it here in your... In my... Ah, ok, ok. What? What, bitch? Wait, stop playing, please, for a moment, it's a serious topic.

Well, I've made a very strong decision in my life, both as a relative with my friends and my close circle. Next month I start with my transition, El próximo mes empiezo con mi transición porque tanto es el estar casado con el personaje que quiero que Gaby se haga realidad. Hoy anuncio que el próximo mes empiezo con mi transición. Estoy haciendo un proceso que me ha costado mucho, tanto como con mi familia, tanto como con mi vida diaria. Entonces ya estoy haciendo mi proceso como es.

Estoy yendo con un psicólogo. Después voy con la doctora que se encarga de ayudarte con el proceso para la transición, tanto como las hormonas, el proceso. ¿Por qué no puse el teléfono en silencio? Porque te cagas de hacer las cosas incómodas. Me está marcando mi esposo. Me está marcando mi esposo, perdóname.

Entonces, yo creo que es una decisión que ya tomé y lo voy a hacer. Y no sé cómo va a reaccionar la gente, pero yo siempre he dicho, la gente siempre va a opinar, siempre va a hablar. Y si es algo que quiero, lo voy a hacer porque soy feliz, I'm always going to give my opinion, I'm always going to speak. And if it's something I want, I'm going to do it because I'm happy, because there's only one life, and no one is going to stop me from doing it.

Oh, very good.

That's great, friend. So, wait for surprises, because I think it's something I've wanted for a long time, and it's something I'm going to do,. I know people will support me on social media. And those who won't, who will? And I won't look ugly like many, like you. No, you're going to look ugly.

I'm going to tell doctors, instead of doing the circumcision to the newborns, please remove the penis. There are already many trans people. They all want to be women. I want to put a vagina in my forehead. Why? I don't know, when they put it in, I'd have a lot of balls. It would be a fantasy.

Oh, that's nice. Yes, honestly. Look, we were talking outside of the show and work and the characters we are. We were talking about how we have a life that sometimes people say, oh, you guys are so big, and you get famous, and I'm the other one. I've always said we're human beings like everyone else. We have two arms, we have two eyes, we walk, etc.

But we have a job that identifies us and makes us look a little higher than other people. But now that we were connecting conversations, I feel like I identify a lot with you because our personalities are very similar. Yes, we do look alike. Of course, I have more money and you are starting. No, I have more money. You are just starting and you will stay there because you won't have the money I have.

Look, if you had money, you would be living in Las Vegas or New York and you are living in Mexico City. Mexico City is the biggest city in Latin America, asshole. Let me tell you. And it's the most expensive. Cheers! And you live in Monterrey, you faggot. What the fuck?

But you should see the house I have.

Yes, because they are cheap. No. Yes. No. In what neighborhood do you live?

In a fucking Infonavit?

You don't know it? Why would I mention it? In Infonavit? that will always live in the same poor neighborhood, but with a fucking big house. You're one of those. I'm going to tell you something. Yes, I'm one of those. And I'm one of the problematic ones.

Put a boat so that no one gets stuck outside the house. Well, what a bitch. She's going to pay you more for life. Well, I prefer to put a boat than for someone to open the gate for you and just let your truck fit. because I don't think your friend from lasagna will open it for you.

You leave me cold, friend. I really do congratulate you. You're doing very well. I do envy you.

I'm going to give you a pan.

Yes, please. Do you envy me? And you still believe it. You see that you're stupid.

I mean, what can I envy you?

Oh, friend, everything. No, stop calling me friend. My name is Gabby. Gabby. Gabriel. No. Gabriel.

No, you never said that. You have a bitch there. No, I don't. I have clitoris. Even if you go with the best psychologist in the world, you will not hang the bitch you have.

I'm going to tell you something. And now you're going to say it and you're going to look bad. Show me the picture. I have the clitoris like this size. Inflamed and split in three. Two balls like this and one long that runs down. When I hide it, I even feel like I'm taking it myself. Oh, gross!

It's just that if you realize that the ones we dress as women are cocky. Yeah. What can you say? I feel like you have more balls than a dick. I don't dress like a woman. I don't dress like a woman. You just need the boobs. No, because I wanted to give this pity like you.

But I don't dress like a woman.

Yes, pity. Poor thing. Oh, my love, what do you think you're giving? Do you think people are going to support you a lot in the video and they're going to see me and they're going to say, man, Gabi, what a woman scandal. They're going to see you and they're going to turn off the TV. I'll call you back because I'm recording here with the...

with the...

Yes. Yes?

You know I like it when you pick on me. I want you to hit me with a block on the head today and... throw muriatic acid in my eyes. Well, they've already done it to you because you're very cool and very sexy. And the flies are talking, that's why I'm hearing shit. And it smells up there. You, my love, put on more perfume.

It has a very nice decoration with three old feathers that they have here. And you, asshole?

Like witchcraft.

Bye. I'm going to make a tie, you'll see. Do you believe in witchcraft? Yes. Like my grandmother says, I have a lot of them.

No, my grandmother says,

there is good and there is evil. So I do believe in witchcraft. And there are ugly people. Like you?

I'm like you, you're the same.

How old are you? No, I'm young? How old are you?

No, I'm little.

No, how old are you? It depends on the trajectory of the character or personal life. Personal life and the character. But being in the middle or out of the middle. Oh, ridiculous. You asked a lot of questions. This is not a laser exam.

I'm 26 years old. I was born on August 1, 1999. Oh, and your character is old? Yes, of course. How old? 9 years old.

With Down? No! No!

No!

Jota, no! Yes, yes, yes, super! No, don't touch me!

You see? You're disarming yourself and people are punishing you and you still don't even see the video. I mean, you're from the religion, Yoruba. No, I'm not into the Aurora Girl. Who? The Aurora Girl, yes. Hello, Leopoldino! Have you seen people who do this?

No.

No, I don't know how people are getting touched. People are very sick. Have you seen the Terrians? Yes. What do you think of them? I feel like you're one.

You're like an apple. Yes? ¿Sí? ¿Y tú cómo que eres? Mira esto, ¿te pareces a César, el de la película, el chango que habla? ¿Sí la has visto? Sí, pendeja.

Sí, pendeja, sí.

César, soy César. ¿Ya quisieras tener este pinche rostro porque tú con una puta cirugía, inyecciones y así? No quisiera porque no fuera feliz. No, yo sí soy feliz. I'm not happy. You're not happy. I noticed it from above the plane. Why? Why do you think I'm not happy? Because you identify with people.

But why, you son of a bitch? Because I want you to tell me things well, because we're friends. So I want you to tell me how I can get out of this problem without getting mad, okay? No, because the one who gets mad loses.

No, I mean...

The one who gets mad loses. Don't do this to me, you're giving me the bad vibes. I'm giving you the bad vibes, and I'm going to cut your hair because I'm going to bury you in a cemetery, asshole. You'll see, you son of a bitch. I'm going to bury you, I'm going to chop you up. And I'm going to add chlorine so it doesn't smell. You've chosen a character, of course.

People are very dirty. People are very dirty, and withord, dressed like Gabi. And I really don't need them, I grabbed them. Because you were in need, but you let them. Yes, really. And was he handsome? I feel like no.

He was rich. I feel like you haven't met a handsome guy. I've taken and I'll come back and I'll repeat it to all the men I've loved and I want. Let's see, show me one that you say, dude, this is the most handsome. It's that right now you showed me... Do you want me to show you the one I'm taking right now?

Let's see, let's see.

Right now you showed me one that, dude, is horrible. But it's going to be a lot of controversy if I show you. But why? Is it from social media? I don't know if I showed you or not. Did I show you the camera? I don't know, yes. What's it got? What's the... Yes, show it! Well, people already know she's a German pastor. Oh, my little Anitta, the dummy, she's so stupid.

I feel like she's taking you out of necessity. You think? Yes, of course. And you, why? Because you pity her? No, I haven't. Let me tell you that I have an excellent ass. I'm going to show you.

Let's see, show me. I want to see if it's true that I'm a bitch. If you have photos and videos. But mine only. But with someone else, no. Yes, yes, yes. I feel that recording is the best, people.

When you record yourself having relationships, it's the best. I'm going to show you. I want you to see what he's going to show me because people are going to think we're lying. I don't want to puke because I don't even eat.

Oh, you look like a bitch.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'm going to show you.

I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. I'm going feeling well. Oh, you look like a bitch.

Yeah?

Yeah. I'm not going to show you, you idiot. You're doing Zoom because you're a fucking hibachi, you idiot. I got you, you want to pull it out with me. I don't know if I should pull it? Yes, a lot. I try to pull it every day. I pull it like four times a day. And in the fourth, you get that there's still a lot?

I get the dalonino and the yacul, which I fucked up in the morning. Oh, gross! But you pull it by watching what? Photos, videos, or what? Porn? Porn? I'm from before. I love that you like to watch porn with dwarves and black people. I love it. And pregnant women, who get pregnant and do this. Oh, that's not true.

Yes, of course. I'm very fetishist, and I like everything. You know what? I'll post it on Twitter. Because on Twitter, I get everything. Everything is great. You know, the pretty porn.

On Twitter, you click one, and another one comes out. Exactly, it's like a TikTok porn. And you don't finish, you last, and you last, and you last, and you last. But out of nowhere, the algorithm changes, and you're there, and out of nowhere, dude, a news about the president, for example, and you're like, oh my God.

Your eye got stuck.

Dude, I have it really stuck. Wait, from here. It's because we're like the friends that arrive at the club, the pretty and the ugly. Oh, please. Who would you pick first? You. You, you idiot, the one who's zooming in. Who would you pick? Her or me? See?

Her. Who would you kiss? Her or me?

Yes. Oh, that's a tough one. No, then she likes the urges.

Yes, the urges.

And you? You see? I'm a Puerca no, it'll they would tell us or he is he to a TBS better. I've ever got pen de jay to DJ And a perfecto So Nico defecto

Is can I say no more?

Come on, man. Yes, it's a bit of a friend to come away. Casa de The cabrio Padre Nuestro, I can see for suppose to know you sit a discouraged a laveria ¿Si te cabe un padre nuestro aquí en todo esto? Por supuesto no, y si te descuidas es el Ave María. ¿A poco?

Sí, mi amor.

Hasta el creo en mí, ¿cómo se llama ese? Creo en mí, creo en mí es la de Rey, pendeja. ¡No! El credo. Jota, hay una canción que se llama el creo en mí que cantan en las escuelas de gobierno. Creo en ti, y ahí estamos. I'm going to this land because here I have my root. That's how it goes. Yes or no?

In which prison were you?

No, Catholic prison.

No, Catholic because I went to a Catholic school. Of course, a school. I was going to a Catholic school and the teacher of education in faith, yes, education in faith, one day he came to expose and the fuck, and he made a passive school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school,

and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and I was in high school, and everything. And what's his name? O'Connor. O'Connor, if you're watching this, how bad of you that at first you denied it and now you sit on the shit and enjoy it

like you have no idea. But I congratulate you, and if you have videos, send them to me and I'll transfer them to you. But please put on a robe, like a priest or something that identifies. You think you're a priest? Oh, of course, I fantasized and then I stole all the money they put together. The alimony. Yes, of course.

Oh, how delicious. It would be the best. Hey, I have a question for you. Let's see, what? How do you beep?

How do I beep?

Yes, I mean, how do you beep?

On Switch.

But how do you beep?

Oh, you idiot, I understood you. Stupid, ordinary. I'm not going to humiliate you. No, I'm not going to humiliate you. You're already humiliated. Life has already mistreated you a lot. Right now, what is your situation? How do you say it when you're single, married or something like that? Your sentimental situation.

Because I see you as sad, as if you are suffering a lot.

And if you see me like that, why do you ask? Well, because I want people to find out about your situation. tu situación sentimental. Porque yo te veo como que triste, como que estás sufriendo mucho. Y si me ves así, ¿para qué preguntas? Pues porque quiero que la gente se entere de tu vida tan triste que llevas. No, la gente ya sabe. La verdad es que ahorita no, estoy muy feliz, yo solo, estoy descubriéndome, estoy, este, pasando el momento para mí,

y no tengo la oportunidad de tener el tiempo con otra persona, y pues no quiero... I'm in love right now. I don't give a shit. I'm not asking you and I'm very jealous. No, friend, the truth is... I'm very happy with my partner. And they'll never take her away from you because you already showed me, my love. He's super handsome, my baby, I love him a lot. How long have you been with him?

I have a year.

Do you give him money? Always. What? It's ok, she loves you for real. She loves you. She's going to marry me. She's going to marry you, of course. Oh, the boss is calling you.

There you are, Mrs. B****. Why are we going to start cooking? And, in fact, drink it so you can serve us more. You're a piece of s***. Does the glass fit you? I don't think so.

Let me grab you from here. No creo. A ver dale así. A ver yo te agarro de aquí de la molla.

Agárrame la cabeza.

Sí, sí te cabe ir ahí. No, no me quito con el diente.

Le haces así.

Ay, no mames.

Y de aquí a aquí.

No, ahí no, no, no. A ver, a ver. No hay manera. Sí hay manera, sí se puede. Cuba y este es el molde. No es cierto. No.

Ay no Gabi, no males.

Es la experiencia de tantas que me he metido. Peor que un pinche baño publico, pendeja. Debería de... Eso no usted tiene que sentir orgullosa. 1500 y un pollo. Bueno, no que asco porque me va a pegar todas las infecciones que he hecho. Ay mija, si ya te pegaron todo. Infected. No, I'm not infected. And it doesn't stick twice. What? The Asifor.

What Asifor? Here's the doctor. Do the tests. Do the tests. Of course.

But the results will be up here.

We want to see. We want to see.

We want to see the novel.

We want to see the novel.

What's up doctor? Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! Oh no, the doctor! I feel like Patricio when he comes out with black boots. Girl, I'm going to give you some advice. Why do you hang out with weird people?

Because I'm sad to be alone. I know life has hit you hard, but you need to learn to live with other people. People with money, people at your level. Don't hang out with lesbians, or macho girls, because they're very problematic. Very problematic. There are two lesbians and they wantedras, or anything like that, because they're very problematic. Very problematic. Yes, right now, I mean, there are two lesbians

and they wanted to build an apartment for me here, inside the apartment, they want to build it, and it's because they're very home depot and all that.

Yes.

And I don't know how to run the... How could I run them? You tell them, because I'm embarrassed. What we're going to make today are quesapizzas, right? I love quesapizzas! And it's something we've already prepared for you because it's with a lot of love and care. Oh, the Reggios are so weird, like they're in the multimedia.

You feel like you're in the multimedia, right? What's multimedia?

Oh, come on.

That's where you came from, asshole. Oh, I'm sorry, but. Okay, what we're going to need is cheese, we need tomato puree, Tomato puree, Tomato puree, And the cheapest cheese. Half cream, I bought half cream,

Cream, Oregano, Woman's oregano. You can never be a fan of oregano food because it's very good, it gives it a good flavor. For you to cook deliciously, you have to cook with the cooking of Jair Sánchez, because today you're going to learn to cook in Guacala,

which is delicious. Maybe you won't look tasty, but you're going to throw up really good at home and you're going to get skinny, which you haven't gotten from the biotherapy, or with the injections, or the mini bypass.

You want to learn to cook? because with Jair Sanchez, you're just going to laugh. Your friend, Gabby Mendoza, recommends it to you. Let's start. What do we have to do? Look, to start, you have to break the ham. So, you already know?

Of course!

I studied gastronomy. You're stupid, stupid.

The tortillas.

The tortillas. Let's see. Pass the machorras. Please, all the mach the girls that are here. Let's see, the table. Since this is a mobile apartment, I don't know where the things are. Yes, it's true.

Yes.

Let's see, check what we have to look for in these economic drawers. Let's see, look there.

It's not here.

This is the one you use to make the macumba. The macha, asshole. That's how you do it. I'm going to make you a vaccine, so you can get it all your life. I don't know where the table is. In the kitchen you can never do without the economic jar you have at home to make pineapple and melon water,

that you invite people to come to your house. And there's the measure, because here people, like her, are well off with fruit and vegetables. Of course not. No, no, no. My guests don't even eat fruit. I wish they ate fruit. Here's the board.

You're going to start cutting the wood. I'm going to cut your mother. The fucking lesbians, these assholes.

It smells like ass.

I like it. It smells like ass.

Yes. How can it smell like ass? You asked for it. Yes. It's not that smells like ass. Doesn't the ham smell good? J, you win. It's not true. January 9th, 2016.

You're an asshole, you ass.

Oh, let me wash my hands,

because if not, people are going to start shitting their pants.

No, no, no, no, no.

As always. Because you didn't wash them. I'm going to make sure the food tastes good. We'll scratch our balls and then we'll cook the food. And we love it like that. A round of applause for the people who are here with us in the studio.

You stupid old woman.

Hey, you're from Monterrey, Monterrey. You've always lived there. Well, actually, I was born in Monterrey, but now, no kidding, I'm grateful for the people who support me and have been hiring me.

Now I'm living in Dallas.

Really?

I moved to Dallas, Texas. Where did you buy your house? You don't know, why would I tell you if you don't have a visa? No, where did you buy... Oh, I turned it on. Where did you buy your house, in Monterrey or Dallas? Ham is cut into squares. El jamón se parte en cuadritos. En Dallas. En Monterrey tengo una. En Dallas tengo otra.

Ay, te crees mucho. Yo aquí tengo una y en Guadalajara tengo otra. No, no me creo. Que nice. Pero no son tuyas. No, si por supuesto que son mías. Y me voy a comprar una en la playa. Dime en qué playa quieres que te compre un departamento. Yeah, this is a good thing. Go be say yeah, come on. Okay. La Playa. Semite Pika see prefer me a Los Angeles

I'm a York Hollywood. It's good. It's moon Akita. Well, it's a cia la vida la vida te cambia. It's a dog cambios Wow I

Love our numbers a cosine our a story experiment and I'm a poco to the name of the concession yo, si yo tengo vagina

Appenas a empezar to decision not a cintas un culo

todavía traes el truco ahí colgando no amiga fíjate que si

y si la tengo tú la secuencia no yo no porque pues que tú estás gorda You still have the trick hanging there. No, friend, look, yes. And I do have it. You? The exquisition? No, I don't.

Why? Well, you're fat. And you struggle. And it's more expensive for doctors. No, but you've had it since you were little, right? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. No, not me.

What happens is that I had a chihuahua.

And they put him to a bath with me. And the Chihuahua bit me and he was going backwards. You're going too far, Chihuahua.

There's all the dirt you have.

Tell me your fucking story about the old man. The old man? I fell in love with an old man. How old was he? 130. That's not true, you idiot. Why are you asking me if I'm telling you?

What do you mean 130? Nobody has lasted 130 years, you idiot. Jota is 130 years old. He's the one who bought my house in Dallas. How old is he?

72.

Ok, he's not getting up. The truth is, I'm only with him for the money. So you're still with him?

Yes.

I mean, we only see each other to have relationships. I'm with him. He's the one who bought the house for me in Dallas. And he's the one who helps me pay my bills in Monterrey. So you're still a whore? No, I'm a whore and a smartass. I'm not Jota Pendeja like you.

Really?

That's the difference. I'm Jota Pendeja. Well, Pendeja, you're 72 years old. Hi. Don't think that the people who come to record are with you for friendship, because they are charging you. It's just that there is... Well, put the green one. To say, you have to think. You don't just have to open your mouth like an idiot like you.

And add the ham too. Have you already added the ham there?

Ok.

So, 72 years and you just take it so I pay you everything.

Yes, of course.

And where did you meet him? I met him at the casino. I really like going to the casino. Really? Are you a gambler? My dad was a gambler. No, I don't play. I go more for the coffee. Because they give me coffee. Because it's refilled. Ha ha ha, you're kidding.

I love it. Shake it slowly because... And then the ham will be like... Weird. I'm always screwing up. So I met the old man at the casino. I started talking to him and we get along really well. And until now, he's supported me.

I'm not going to lie, he's supported me.

What are you going to put in?

Half.

Half?

The bottle.

Look Jessica, so you bought two. Why did you buy two then? Because someone else wanted to.

No, because here it's not a job. Why did you buy 12? In case someone else wanted to.

No, because here it's not a job, here what they're doing is enjoying. It's the bad part. You're making money and you're not investing. A studio is taking care of this. Tell the people you're recording in your apartment. Of course, they know you're recording in your apartment. People like it when I record in my apartment, because they feel like part of it.

What do you do? I make content. Of what? Of my shows.

What shows?

And my presentations that I have. At a national and international level. Something you'll never know because you don't know about your department. Hey, have you been to Europe?

Sure.

To do shows? Yes. Where?

Pass me the oregano.

Where?

Let's see, asshole, here. Where did you show up in Europe? I was in... Oh, my love.

Oh, my love.

What?

Jota, just because you went to Europe once, you think you're a dick?

Oh, no, I love Europe.

And you still owe the trip, because you took it out several times. No, not that it was early. Let's see. How much? Let's see, give it to me. Open it here, because because this doesn't work sometimes. And you do this.

There you go.

You add oregano so it tastes good. It doesn't taste good. No, it won't taste good. You add whiskey too. So it boils, so it tastes good. Alcohol and everything.

You earn a lot, you buy another pan. Let's see, here goes the ice.

Son of a bitch!

There you go, let's go. ¡Tu puta madre! ¡Ahí está! ¡Vámonos! Ya le echamos orégano, jamón, champiñón. Y también... Es que tómale... no pasa... Mira, es una mezcla así. Es que... Todo va para el estómago.

Le haces así.

Ahí está.

¿Te quieres vomitar, pendeja? No, pero te vas a to shit on the floor. No, no, no, throw more. If you're very fat, if you started with your fucking shit, throw more. Throw more, asshole. Let's see, throw more. No, no, no, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let's see, bitch.

Take it. Take it, bitch. Take it, bitch. You started very fat, right? No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Look, the truth is that all of this is painted because we ate the food. Yeah, they all ate it.

So we have to do it again.

No, add more sauce, add more of everything.

Nelly, how can you be so stupid? Well, then we're going to add the glass too. We're going to add everything at once. So that we cook with glass. People consume it from there, they drink it. There's also a it tastes good.

And you're going to eat it. And the photographer is going to eat it. Let's see, suck it here on the ground. I'm allergic to the soil. Suck it. Let's see.

This soil is good. Let's add a tortilla. No, no, no, because we have to eat. No, we're going to eat, but Nelly said we have to eat. A taco? We have to eat a taco.

Let's see if it tastes delicious. Let's see, Nelly, come.

Yes, yes, let him try it. Let him try it. Let him try it. Nelly, come.

Come, Nelly.

Let Nelly pass! And I'm going to... Penelope! You can't do that! Pass it to him! Drink the coke! Drink it from here! Drink the coke from here! Ah, so good!

No, I can't! I'm a Mariachi! I'm a Mariachi! I can't!

I'll try it! Like this, but here! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I

Don't even a second they have

Toy no No

No, I said a plan that can all that regatta

What I'm gonna puke. I'm gonna puke. I'm gonna puke. I'm gonna puke.

I'm gonna puke.

I'm gonna puke.

I'm gonna puke.

I'm gonna puke. so you can lose weight, because diet, piña lima, semi-fiber and bodybuilding don't work for you. But here, with a glass, an omelette, a spoon and a lid, you'll lose weight deliciously. Today on Guacala Que Rico, with Jair Sanchez and Gaby Mendoza, you learned to cook to lose weight. What a scandal! My stomach hurts, and I'm a bariatric.

We're going to kill ourselves. What are you going to do? Well, we just need the quesadillas and we'll do that.

No, what are you going to do on the weekend?

Let's see if we can get a cooking course. Go to hell. You should make the fucking quesadillas, you idiot. You're just looking at me there. Loba, you're turning it on wrong. Well, I can't. Why can't you? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let's see, turn it on here. Turn on the other one. I'm not going to cover it. There it is. That one, yes. And make the fucking quesadillas.

I liked it better than the lasagna.

Yes, right?

What we eat.

Yes. The lasagna is that she does it with hate and with courage and with everything. I mean, it's her recipe and she gets very angry because we didn't do it well, but I pay her in I dreamed we ate something terrible, but today we are going to cook something delicious! What? I love it. Why? If you're going to make this a family Sunday, well, that pizza is your best option. Of course, because... You can find them in all stores.

Uh-huh, and it's a very quick and very effective recipe that our friend Jessica from Spain shared with us, who is watching us from the living room. Of course, and you can also buy it in all stores, and it's a registered brand of Las Gabbys, porque somos las Gabbys. Somos las Gabbys. Así se llama. Vas a querer registrar la marca como la Turbulence, ¿verdad?

Claro.

A ese hay que echarle agua mineral. No, ya ponle queso, pendeja. Espérame, la tortilla se tiene que cocer bien. No, ya está cocida. Viene precocida. Y vamos a poner aquí los frijoles. por supuesto. Entonces, ¿qué soñaste? ¿No soñaste que hacías eso? Como que nos vomitábamos. O escuchaba un cerdo como que pidiendo ayuda en el baño.

Okay.

Y lo que, mira, te voy a enseñar un truco, pendeja. A ver. Ay. Eso iba a ser. Mejor que pasen a ella a cocinar. Sí, a ver, pasen.

Sí, en serio, sí. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it too. Shut the fuck up. Why are lesbians like that? Because of the mess. I miss you so much, lesbian. How are you? I miss you so much, I'm going crazy. Oh, lesbian love.

You have to come back to me soon. If they're going to start attacking each other, I'm going to retire. me See some of them Because Thomas And what? I made the easiest recipe in the world. You just listened to the word eat and you shit yourself.

You know what? I'm going to retire.

Me too. I'm tired, I'm tired. He's staying with his show. I'm tired, ask me for a Didi and I'm leaving. Me too.

Let's go.

We're going to burn, asshole. And now we are... Encianadas y vidas, pronto tienes que volver a mi. Ok, now that this is done, let's move on to... What? Here? This? No, no, no. Look, look, look. Ah, it's the same shit. I mean, Jessica is going to have a... Here it is. No, no, no, look, look, look.

Ah, it's the same shit. You're going to have to work twice as much, Jessica. Here's one. And then we're going to add... I'll wait until you eat. Look.

Like this. Look how delicious. Delicious. I feel like this recipe is very complicated. And not just any recipe. Yes, it's not. And you don't have to put the ingredients in so that they don't do it.

Yes, so that they don't do it.

Well, then I'll eat dirt right now. No, I'm going to make you another one. Because look, it's like a pizza of mine. No, that's synchronized. Look! Pizza! No, but the pizza is like this. Well, then put it there.

Uh-huh.

And we put it here.

Uh-huh.

Remember that we are from different cities.

Yes, of course.

I mean, the pizza you have has double like this, it's covered. No, but I pay extra to make it like this. Which you will never do because you are one of the people who gobble up food and want to give mentions. No, of course not. I used to do it, to be honest. Yes, I never did. I didn't have the need.

I don't do it like that.

Let's see.

Oh, you idiot!

It's good, I loved it. Or because we're hungry.

What did you do to your sleeve?

Did you eat and drink like a pig? It's the least you can offer me for coming all the way here.

That's the truth.

Do you need help?

I can do it myself. No, because life will make you a beast. You're going to stay there, I'm going to help you. Give it aque. Irabesque. Irabesque. Irabesque. Irabesque.

Irabesque.

Irabesque.

Irabesque.

Irabesque. No, the food. It's the experience. Oh. The truth. No, the truth. I'm going to give it a 3 because it's too basic. I'm going to get into your fridge, because I have a raw set. Here are glasses. You want more alcohol? No, right? No, I don't want to drink anymore.

Come here.

Do a close up so they can see the salad you've had in the fridge. Look, it's all frozen, it has mushrooms, and it has like something... It's oregano, asshole. It's oregano, not mushrooms. And since you're over there, I want an apple.

Me too.

I don't give.

Let's see, now. Now, to what we came, assholes. The last round of this stupid show is that we're going to ask us open questions and we're going to answer them, okay? Super.

Do you agree that we're not live and that they're written by the production? Exactly, of course. Let's see, Nelly, throw the first one.

Okay. Does it have the super power of knowing how a guy has it

just by looking at him?

No.

I do.

Yes?

I was wrong. I can tell by looking at it. I know how it is. For example, if you see a small belly, it won't be big. But there are some that are. Because the belly is heavy.

But there are some that are very big. I don't know, I've never seen belly fat. Me neither. But I have seen them. Because they are like buffalo sauce. How? You have to stick it in the back so the chili comes out.

You don't just find them.

That's why I'm telling you.

Now, if you see a skinny, tall, handsome, tall guy, you know that a big guy like that is waiting for you. Of course. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I think that slugs have a very good cock. So don't play dumb and you know that the cock is good. No, but there are times when I say, for example, I found a guy who is not that tall but he is good and he has a very small cock.

It has happened.

Ok, I think that Yair has medium sized eggs and he has to have the cock not that big but he has to have it medium sized I'm Okay. Okay. Like this? Yes, like this. Let's see, like this. Two heads, I mean two heads, two. And half of the head comes out.

Like this, like this.

Okay.

And if you have it half fat. I mean, it's like, dude, skinny, fat. And it's more hitting the fat. And it doesn't have the big eggs.

Yes or no? You're hitting the fat one. And... She doesn't have such big balls. Heh. Yes or no?

It's just... Dude, how do I have them?

Ahaha, you're so stupid!

It's just that the guy knows me because he's seen me naked. Aha.

No, it's just that...

No, she has big balls.

Big balls.

Very big.

Yes, very big.

Okay.

And fat.

Okay. But it's fat. So, fat as a man.

Yes.

As a dad. As a dad. Very good, okay. Do you feel it? No, I don't like fat people. And I don't like big people.

Then how do you like them?

Like this, small, like this. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, but you neither. And sad. Well, you too. But you more. No, you're sadder than me. No, you beat me because you have the feeling of sadness.

No, you more. No, don't play dumb. No, don't play dumb.

Oh, please.

Well. Well, then look sad. And who do you think is a fag?

Me?

I think it's Galilea Montijo.

Oh, poor thing.

And she gave you courage.

And when she got to today, she was swollen.

I love you, Vali.

Who do you prefer? with Adelia, Marcelo and Mole, and you have to choose a position. No, a trio with Abelito and Aldo. No, Abelito will be sent to kindergarten and I'll take Aldo. Come on, girl! No, I'd put Abelito to dance to René's song and I'll take Aldo. No, I'd put Abelito to take Aldo. Yeah, sure, it's a fantasy.

Do you like the ones with the shorties?

The one I'm with is short.

No, but not the one with the bag.

No, no, no, the one with the c4.

The c4?

Or the c4. No, I mean, yeah, I'm going to take Aldo, obviously. What's going to happen in your life, you're gonna screw Aldo.

Oh, you wrote to him. Call me.

What's up, love?

I'm on a show with... Supercool.

With a nuisance.

No, Supercool. He's gonna feed him. And he's going to feed you too. He says he's going to feed you too.

I'm already sleeping, I don't know what you're talking about.

Here Jair is asking if I keep you or if you're really in love. What do you think? I'm in love. Thousands have said that. How much did you pay him to say that? No, I didn't pay him anything. I'm gonna go ahead and record that. I'm gonna record that. I'm gonna record that.

I'm gonna record that.

I'm gonna record that.

I'm gonna record that. I'm gonna record that. I'm a mensaquito. Yes, they are to tell us you got a factura de la transicción Que te va a mandar esta pendeja por esta llamada porque nada más dices cosas por amor por dinero I know No, no, he says por que le colgaste porque tienes coraje si No, mark another is the one paid for don, we know perfectly well that you love Gabi,

and that you don't care about the money, or the two trucks she has, and you don't care about the transfers they make, or the clothes she buys for you, or how you live. I know it's true love, and my friend is very happy about that.

Yes, I buy my clothes.

See? He buys her clothes, I buy everything else. But you told me last time that when I told you I was coming here, you told me that Yair was alone, fat and sad.

Yes.

See?

So if you pay him a lot, why does he listen to you and follow you around? How much do you pay him? Love, I'll call you later, baby.

Bye, I love you baby. I love you. Bye, I love you. I love you. Bye.

He's with a woman. He's with a whore.

Because she does have a vagina.

And I'm fed up. No, well, you're fed up too.

You're not even with knives.

You want problems? With guns. I mean, I pray to God that you get drunk with that and you get a diarrhea of three months, whore. of Discriminate the production. Who do you feel gets more of the

Poncho de Nile, Franco Escamilla or Samuel Garcia?

Samuel Garcia.

Oh, me, Poncho.

No, Samuel Garcia. I want everything with Samuel Garcia. But he doesn't want anything with you. No, yes, he already sent me a message. You don't even have Mariana's waist. No, of course, look, yes. Look, I can see your body. Every second I'm watching Tasmania. Look at me!

Oh, please!

No surgeries.

I'm staying with Pocho. I'm staying with Samuel Garcia. Yes, really.

I feel like he's the richest and the most delicate.

Sexual fantasy that hasn't happened. Describe how the place, the situation and the person would be.

I'd pick someone who's dressed the same as me.

Me too. In the kitchen. Yes. For real?

So they've eaten dirt.

So she's going to crouch down and start eating dirt? Yes, like, boom, and like that.

Oh, you idiot.

Oh, it's all falling.

I swear I'm going to say the same thing, idiot. Tell me later. So she's in the kitchen? We're connected. I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,

I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,

I'm gonna be like, We humiliate ourselves to everyone. Just like we are the ones with the money, do everything. Exactly. And run, you idiots. And laugh at our jokes. We don't invite you to be a priest. We could be a couple. Let people say. Let people say.

Do they see us as a couple? No. She said it with courage. Because she knows she would be the first one to be eliminated. No, no, no. Because she knows I deserve just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying.

I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. No, completo. No, completo. No, si completo. Y espere y me des para otra camioneta en este capítulo, pendeja. Ay, mija, te voy a comprar hasta cinco. Ay, pobrecita pendeja. A ver, siguiente pregunta estúpida.

¿Cuál es su talento oculto en la cama?

Es que esta piensa que somos literal, o sea... Es que ella piensa que la vida de nosotros es 24-7 sexo. this I like it when you... I like it when you say something like, I love this. It's very common, I mean, I get hit, I get spanked. I'm going to tell you mine. I like it when I'm on the edge of the bed,

and I'm like this, and they take it out and they pee on me, all my buttocks like this, and my ass. I mean, I open my That's the best, man. Girl! I'm very sick.

Yes.

That's the best. I've never peed on you. Because you smell. Yes, yes. No, because I'm pissed because I can't stand it. No, you have pissed on me, but not like that. I mean, in the shower and stuff.

I mean, I feel like the bed... What does your house smell like? Urine? ¿A qué huele tu casa? ¿A orin? No, es que ahí es el detalle. Yo cojo en el monte. ¿En el motel? ¿En el monte? Sí, me gusta mucho. Sí, en carmis, que me llene así de... ¿Cómo se llaman los...? ¿Tierra?

No.

¿Vidrios? ¿Cómo se llaman los chiquitos que traen muchas puntitas? Legos. ¡No! They stick to your clothes and they sting you. Oh, I know what they're called. No, plants.

They're small.

Yes. Well, it's like a ball that has a lot of little spikes. So you like to pick them up like a poor person. Yes. I love it. Yes, I mean, give me a life that I'll never have.

Okay, perfect. No, I like to use them just I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,

I'm gonna be like,

I'm gonna be like,

I'm gonna kill your mother. Yes, when we finish the show. How am I gonna kill you? You first. Is there anyone at home? Who are you with?

Diana's mom is recording us.

Well, the assholes are recording us if they start masturbating because the pigs are very dirty. My friend Gabriela has a very fat dick. Really? Yes, she throws it like a toad. I want to give her a lot of kisses. No, make it like this. Oh no! Ok, that's it.

It was a lot of fun. Did you have a good time? No, I'm leaving. I had a lot of fun, thank you for the invitation. I really admire you, I respect you. I had a lot of fun, I think it's an experience that I will remember. I hope people have fun with this concept.

Of course. Because we have that concept and that idea. But I'm really happy and grateful to you, to the production, to your team, to your friends who are here. It feels like a really cool and beautiful vibe. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much for having a great time. You know that it's going to be on the 15th, April 15th. 15 de abril. El 15 de abril estamos aquí en el Lunario Auditorio de Ciudad de México.

Adquieran sus boletos con tiempo porque van a poder disfrutar de mi show totalmente en vivo. Es muy diferente, es muy loco a lo que ven en redes sociales. Está padrísimo. Adquieran sus boletos, ahí vas a andar. Voy a andar ahí.

Quiero que vayas con tus amigos y voy a invitar a toda la producción So, we'll see you on April 15th here in Mexico City. And also, be aware of her social media, because she's very into tours. So, keep an eye out for her, so you can go to her city and blah, blah, blah. Go, follow her, and well, nothing, thanks for coming, I love you so much.

And I also admire you so much. I see that you're there, very hot on social media. I love being in public. I love you. I love you too.

Thank you, friend. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

Kiss, friends. Bye, bitches. Guacala, so good. Bye, assholes. Subscribe, comment, and you know the trick. See you next Thursday.

I don't have potatoes, but I send you blessings. Bye! Yes? I obviously hit you badly so you look bad in the video. Well, you also hit me badly because you look bad. You always look bad, my love. It's just that I feel like we Jotos have our boo-boos.

It's just that...

Hey, leave it to me.

All the Jotos have a friend who is very big-ass. But those big-ass people that you buy a roll package and suck it in one sitting. I'm not going to be here. See? What did I tell you? And you don't get to the living room and everything is messed up.

No, no. They eat everything.

What I'm doing is, before I get there, I leave a Osempic syringe here, and she has to put it in so she doesn't eat so much. I love your laugh of your jokes without grace. So you say something and it's like... And people don't laugh, man. Well, you have to laugh, you dumbass. That's why I brought you, so you can be my fucking cat. I'm going to say it again. Shut up, stupid.

Okay.

The epics for cool guys.

You're going to love it.

Your comedy is super cool.

I love the show.

I'm your fan.

This is a fat tits. No, no, no. Hold them tight. It's pure fat. This is a fat tits. Like a bag of coke. Look how it hangs. Look how it hangs. You're an idiot. Hold me tight. It's hanging.

You can't say no.

What a shame.

Are you ok, Jota?

It's very strong. You threw up. I can't even watch this. Are you ok, Jota? It's too strong. Did you throw up? Yeah, a little. No, I can't even watch this anymore. Let's do some synchronized ones. We have to do synchronized ones, yes. Go to hell.

I don't give a fuck, bitch.

No, no, no, no.

I still have dirt on my face, bitch. What's the question? Ask me something, no. I still have dirt on me, you idiot. What question?

Ask me anything. Ask me anything.

Are you happy?