Australia was full of surprises | Ray Bradshaw

If you've ever been to Australia, you'll know this.Everything about that country is made up to screw over tourists.Like, everything.Like, they've a brand of ice lolly.If you've been, you might have had this.So they would call it an ice cream, because they're wrong.

There's an ice lolly called a golden gay time.This is a genuine thing, right?No one tells you this.So my first day in Australia, it was 40 degrees.And that's not my conditions, right?I'm like a slug.

That is not good.I was wearing jeans as well, so I was like, nice, when I can't have kids anymore.And now, I'm like, OK. I went into this newsagent and I went, listen mate, it's my first time in Australia.

I just want something quick, cold, refreshing.What would you recommend?And the guy behind the towel went, okay, sir, how do you feel about a golden gay time?And I remember I was like, wow, that's really kind of you to offer.Like, I mean, if anything, I probably don't have the time more than anything.And you could see him panic.

He was like, no, no, it's not like that.It's not like that.But you know when you're flustered and you can't get your words out.And he was like, you just put it in your mouth.And I was like, yeah, I'm not falling for that again.Not a chance, man.