Bobby Deol: Failure, Alcohol, Trolls, Bollywood Comeback & SRK | FO413 Raj Shamani

You said that I was a star once and it died.

I've lost everything. I stopped working in films and getting jobs. The actors used to snatch away the subjects I was going to get. Alcohol was my only support system at that point.

Do you think you made a mistake that made you lose your job?

Definitely. Maybe because I didn't see many hardships what my father saw when he struggled to become an actor.

The whole family is filled with stars. What is the pressure? That their name will be ruined just like his.

At one point in my life, I felt I couldn't live up to my dad's expectations. I used to break down and I used to tell him, Papa, I've let you down because you always said I was your golden child.

What do you admire the most about your father?

No one can be like my dad. He's got the biggest heart. I can't even think of a quality that my dad has that's bad. There's nobody...

Did you ever feel inferiority?

That phase of five years, 6 years. I used to even go to parties and when I used to go, I used to get the same importance. My heart was broken. People made fun of me.

What did you feel about yourself?

I don't know.

What was the moment where you were like, let me quit?

One day I was sitting and my wife works. My son tells, Mom you go to work everyday, dad stays at home all the time. And that just changed everything for me.

Stand up, never forget you can win any battle.

Animal

Look

Animal changed everything for me. I just had a glass in my hand, I just put it on my head and I started dancing. Not knowing what the effect of that would be. I just had a glass in my hand, I just put it on my head and I started dancing. Not knowing what the effect of that would be. The amount of messages I started getting with that one teaser was to another level man.

Our today's guest is an actor who went from being one of the biggest rising stars to years of silence and rejection. Where they had to face a lot of addiction, self-doubt, embarrassment and a lot of low situations. And people thought he could have disappeared. But he didn't. He had a massive comeback and gave back-to-back hits. Our today's guest is Bobby Deol.

In this episode, we talk about what it was like growing up in a family where every member was already a star. Why his parents were so overprotective of him, his bonds with his brother Sunny Deol, what kind of pressure comes from carrying a celebrity family tag, why he lost out on films, how talent agencies, producers, directors were hesitant to work with him. He struggles with alcohol and how he slowly made his way back piece by piece. Bobby Deol's real test was standing strong under pressure when nothing was working around him.

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Actually, very interesting. I think that's a good way to start. Puri family is filled with stars. Right? Everybody. And you all live together?

Yeah, we all live together. We all live together. I mean, I've grown up living with everyone. It's like my dad had two sisters and a brother. They're not there anymore and my uncle lived with us. So it's like that my dad and my uncle always were together. Then my aunties before they settled down with their

husbands, they all came and stayed with us So it used to be a full house It was I think we were so lucky because I had so many cousins sisters who I don't call cousin because yeah So I can relate. We used to play all day

but the

Chorpuli, Dabba, Ice Pies Volleyball, throw ball, volleyball, badminton so I was lucky that we were so many of us that no one was getting bored and luckily there were no video games at that point. Though then when they did come the video games my parents never bought them. Why? They just didn't want me to play video games.

I am not interested in video games. Not even today? Not even today. My kids keep playing. I don't know why they are so excited while playing. Sometimes it takes the whole day. But I sit with them and try. So I don't know what are the buttons,

how to press them. You know, so... I just... All I do is play Solitaire on my iPad. Is it complicated?

Because everyone in their own world, you all are stars.

There are no complications. Because we love each other so much that complications exist everywhere in any kind of relationship. Because that's how human beings are. You know, we are so complicated.

We have all those emotions which we control and become better human beings. But tell me if there's expectation, competition, you don't have all this? No, we don't have all this. We just want that he should work better than me, she should work better than me. This is how it is in our house. We never see who is doing a good job. We just want everyone to do good. Everyone should get the same respect and love that dad got.

That's how it's been. For me it's always been that actually. For me it's always been, I still remember going with my dad as a child and I was very lucky because I was the youngest and by the time I was born I'm the fourth child I'm the youngest I have two sisters in between and my brother is the eldest Papa was so busy. He used to work so much. He used to sleep on the sets He never came home. And when I was born, he realized that I didn't spent time with my other kids. So he tried to take me

everywhere with him and I was lucky to see that because I never understood what acting is all about. I never understood what filmmaking is all about. All I understood being with him the love he was getting you know because that was fascinating that why are people you know my papa he's my hero and people love him so much they want to meet him they want to hug him they want to touch his feet they treat him with so much respect and

there's only love in their eyes and that's one of the biggest reasons why I really wanted to be an actor was because I wanted that same love you know because I've been brought up with so much love. For me life cannot exist without love and affection you know it's like why do people have to be rude? Why do people have to be mean? Why do people have to backstab? Why do people have to be jealous? You know I never thought of these things. I was brought up very

sheltered. I was sheltered a lot actually. That's something which I disagree with my parents when I grew up. What do you disagree about? Because it took me a long time to become independent. When I was at work, I was dependent in the sense that emotionally, all the time. I couldn't face the world because I was made to believe that everybody outside is very nice you know. Explain shelter.

Tell me a few situations where you felt that you have sheltered so lovingly.

I mean, I was kept in such a way that I was not allowed to step out of the house.

Why?

I don't know. My dad was just so protective. And I was... I learned to cycle inside the house. I wasn't allowed to go out of the house for cycling.

Why? What do you think the reason was?

When I was in the sixth standard.

What did you do?

And you heard of Billaranga? The famous... Yeah, the character. Those two guys who used to kidnap kids and then used to kill them and ask for ransom and was really sad. Yeah, that

extortion character stories I've heard. I don't know if they were real or not. They were real.

Oh!

So I remember when I was… We were just scared that they would come.

No, no. They existed. Okay. There was a whole show which came out, Black Warren, in which they showed those two characters, which is actually real. Okay. I was in the 600 and a friend of mine, his arm was broken, he was in a plaster

he got kidnapped and but he was the luckiest out of all the people they kidnapped because there was a confusion between Billa and Ranga and he was with Ranga and cops were zeroing on them so he ran away and someone left him near the shop and ran away. The Paan shop owner saw him and said that this kid looks like he belongs to a good family. He found out his address and took him home. Then the police came to my house.

I started telling my father that Billa Ranga, this kid was saved. But Billa Ranga had asked him who else is in his school. He took your son's name. So you take care of him. And as soon as he said, I was in 6th standard. My father took me home. School used to end at 4-5 in the evening.

I used to stay at school. I mean I used to stay at home. He is not allowed to go anywhere. Then when I went to college, there were small parties at my friend's house. I was not allowed. Then I used to go to a good friend's house. Mom used to say, come back at 9. I used to go and a good friend's house and she used to say, come back at 9.

I used to go and help her set up. I used to say, okay, I'm leaving. So, I had this kind of... Because my father was so strict, because this happened. Then, when Billa Ranga was caught and they were hanged, even after that, I had the same strict rules. And my friend who was kidnapped was partying.

I was not allowed to go out anywhere.

But did you ever live with security full time?

No, there was no security. But I was not allowed. If I took my car, I would take my father's car, my friend would call me and ask me to come home. Sometimes I would come home and the car would come and ask me, where are you? Come home. My father was not asking me, my mother was.

My mother would scold me and say, puch rahi hai. Mummy puch rahi hai. Mummy mujhe daanti thi, peh bolte, acha theek hai papa ke paas bade jaa ke, kuch pata nahi hai. Theek hai? Ma phir daraate ke. But that's how it was. Also when I was two years old, I fell down from the first floor. And I was alone at home. My mum, my grandmother, my grandfather, my sis, everyone had gone to Lido Cinema. Now it has become PBR. Everyone went there to watch the film of my father. And I fell from the first floor. And after that, I don't know what happened.

He became even more protective. I think that might be one of the reasons. Because I have no idea man. It was just that's the way it was and my family never went to Lido cinema after that because they just found it just felt that you know it brought bad luck or something but that's how my dad is you know I mean but that's why when I joined the industry also I wasn't thinking about competition I wasn't thinking about I was under the shadows of my dad and my brother. I just thought I'm an actor. I'm gonna go act.

You know and I don't have and there's enough space for everybody to be actors not just me and my other co-actors. You know why there's no competition. Everybody should get luck, get a success. Everybody should have a hit and slowly slowly when I joined the industry that was when the whole thing was changing. The whole manipulation, going out of the way, going to people's offices, getting the work, you know things like that you know and I was so used to being, I was so used to

getting work by people coming to my house. And I didn't realize how my, people kept saying that when I grew, when obviously later on people kept saying they were scared of my brother to come and meet me. But I never understood how,

I mean, I guess maybe there somewhere my brother was more protective also about me because he's like 11, 12 years older than me. So he's like a father figure to me.

SAURABH MADAAN-E-MOORINI

So you grew up with two fathers. I got too protected, man. I guess they just wanted the best for me. And so a lot of people were scared to talk to my brother because of his image. And what were they scared about?

Just seeing that 2. kilo ka haath without realizing that he's just doing that on the screen, he's not really like that.

Unhe laga ki wo aapke script kuch kaam leke aayenge toh wo aapke bhai gussa jaayenge.

Nahi unko laga ki, I don't know, they just felt that I was unapproachable also at a point. But eventually, obviously I was lucky, my first 10 years were really good you know I had some great films and they all came through obviously I was the youngest and also the starting off so my dad and my brother were involved in the sense that okay you work with these people and I did I mean soldier came to me, Gupt came to me and my dad heard the scripts and I was just happy hearing the script because I found him so bloody interesting and and

then obviously I did Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya which went wrong but Kareeb which I really enjoyed doing. But do you think that you really wanted to become an actor

or it was just because everyone around you was like this, because of this, that desire became.

See, it was also, see when I used to see my dad on studios and there were other big actors around him and the way they interacted with my dad and the way they looked at him, it was different. And it is the same till date, the way they look at my father, the love I get honestly and the support I get is because the respect for my father. So that was one of the reasons but obviously when I was a kid and my house, the gates were always open.

My grandmother believed that, my grandmother was very selfless, she always wanted to be, she was a giver, she always wanted to be there for everyone and anyone and those days were very simple days anyone from my village or from Punjab or anybody would just enter my house and there have been so many times I had to leave my room because there was some guests who had to come and stay in my room and all of them would see me and they would pinch my cheeks and say you will grow up and become a hero because I was a little chubby baby I was like I was of them would see me and they would pinch my cheeks and say, you will grow up and become a hero. You will grow up and become a hero.

Because I was a little chubby baby. I was like, I was 11 pounds and a few ounces when I was born. So I was always a chubby baby, a chubby kid. And that's how it just got set in my head. No, I want to be a hero because every child looks up to his father. Yeah, everyone you know and there's no business like show business is the most attracting it just pulls you you know I just want you to become a part of it you

know and and I'm in a house which is part of the industry my dad's a legend my brother was doing really well and so they just I was on the in the third standard I still remember that day. My favorite teacher was Mrs. Naven, and she was asking every child to get up and say what they want to become. Obviously, it was very predictable that everyone said, I'll be a scientist, I'll be a doctor,

I'll be a pilot, I'll be an engineer, I'll be this, I'll be that. And I got up and I said, I'll be a hero. Not even an actor, I just said, I'll be that and I got up and I said I'll be a hero not even an actor I said I'll be a hero so that's how it was for me I mean I have not thought of anything else in my life but being an actor. What do you admire the most about your father? When you were watching him as a kid and we used to go everywhere with him. He's got the biggest heart. Explain. He would just always be very welcoming, very giving, very understanding. Tell me a situation or story where you saw this first. He's never made anyone

feel not special. He's made everyone he meets very special. He makes gives him so much respect and so much love and that is so that's a special quality to have. You know I mean there have been times where obviously some fans have gone and done something stupid and he's beat them up and then after that he's brought them inside the house. Beat them up? Yeah I mean beat them up. Like really why? Because they were behaving because when your fans come they get they don't know how to interact they just get so excited

they say something stupid or behave badly and then that I was there watching it I'm like why is my dad doing? And that man finally just fell on his feet and just said, I love you, sir, I'm sorry. And my dad also didn't want to do it, but he must have said something which really must have hurt my dad.

So then he got him in and I was also there, made him sit, gave him milk to drink, gave him food to eat, give him some clothes. And that's how he is, you know. I mean, he's a man, he doesn't think, he doesn't need words. You see, if anyone would upset my dad, it was just,

you know, that's it. People keep talking about my brother's dhai kilo ko haath, you haven't seen my dad's hand. It is like, b. You were beaten up in your childhood. It was my mother's job. She was a bad cop, my dad. I mean, it was like, it wasn't even bad cop, good cop.

It was just that my mother just saw to it that my dad never realizes we've done something wrong. And she would just beat me up, man. She's really beaten me up. Like, it's just. Tell me, Sidhvi, what happened? Nothing. like it's just like tell me that we got something I mean I remember once when I

was at home and we all my sisters my cousins as I said we all live together in a joint family my chacha's kids me and and I obviously we were kids you know kids get into fights and we must have scratched each other and my cousin sister goes and shows the scratches to my mother and my mother just took out her slippers and just beat the hell out of me and my bua was there who finally stopped my mother and I just went and hugged my bua and I said I'm not staying

in my house I'm staying with you I left and I went and stayed the night at my Bhuva's house. But they were sweet memories and then finally you know it's so strange that when I grew older became a teenager and I was in college and I still remember my brother had this, those days there were not so many cars and one of his friends had gifted him a Fiat black color with revolving seats. So we decided to go to Lunavala, two of my other friends Manish and Pranav and we drove all the way and came back.

Didn't think about, I just thought I'm going for a drive, you know, and it was past six o'clock in the evening. My mother was like, where is my bob? And finally when I reached, she started hitting me with her slipper and I'm like, mom, I'm not hurt, why are you hitting me? Because I've become big. Yeah. But that's how mothers are. Then obviously that's how she was. She was always, my mother is amazing. She was the strongest person in my whole life till I got married. I think my mother and my sisters, they're just amazing, the women in my house. You know how they've

been and how every time I'm in the most weakest moment, I speak to my sisters and so I'm very blessed, you know, I can go on but I don't I mean I don't want to reveal everything about my family life and my sister because the duels have always kept everything very quiet about themselves. That's how we are. We don't really indulge or try to talk about too much you know because it's a family value family

Just an unsaid rule I guess you know I just I don't know I mean I just today I mean I went for this wedding you wedding and all my sisters that come from different parts of the world and I was just more than the wedding I was just happy to meet everyone you know obviously the wedding was special it was my nephew but just to be there with everyone and that's how it's sad when you have sisters you know like the saddest part is that they all have to go

and live in another house with some with people they don't know so well and it's tough on them but touch wood they've all been very lucky I mean my brother-in-laws are amazing and but that's one of the reasons why I always wanted to have a daughter because I used to think about you know how I used to be with my parents and how my sisters were with my parents and they were amazing and we were always you know boys doing our things and you know

every time they would be the first to take care of them or first to be there and not that I wasn't but so when I I was, when I got married, I wanted to have, obviously I always wanted to have, I wanted to have four kids, by the way. Four kids I wanted, and I wanted to name them exactly the same name as my siblings,

because we have very unisex pet names. My brother's Sunny, you can be a boy or a girl. My elder sister's Lali, she could be a boy or a girl. Then Anu, and then Bobby. Okay, all unisex in a way. So I said, my first child will be Sunny,

second will be Lali, third will be Anu, fourth will be Bobby. That was when I was growing up, I used to think of all these things. And then when my wife and me were having our first child, I only looked for girl names you know I was just looking for names which were

like I just wanted to have a daughter and just if I go back a little back in my whole wanting to have a daughter is my second sister who's two years older than me, she got married and she said I'm going to, before she got married she said when I have kids, if I have a daughter I'll name her Nikki and that's my mom. My mom was the youngest in her family and Nikki is the youngest. Nikki means like chota, you know and so I said no I'm gonna name my daughter Nikki and we

got into an argument and my sister got emotional. I said, I told Anu, Anu I said why are you getting emotional? You're getting married I'm not even I don't even have anyone in my life at this point you know and if you do have a child if it turns to be a daughter you'll be naming your daughter Nikki. And so I still remember when Nikki was born she was like very special to me and I still remember talking to her and then when I was

having my first child, me and Tanya. So my sister told her that you know Bobby Mamu, she told my sister why is Bobby Mamu only thinking of girl names? You know why? So she asked me, so I said to tell her, she said if I don't Bobby Mamu only thinking of girl names. So I said to tell her, she said, if I don't have a girl, I will adopt her. And she said, you know, I love Bobby Mamu, but I can't live without you, mom.

I'm like, you know how kids can be. So then I had my first son. And again, that was just a day after Gadar released. So it was like this huge moment for me and my brother around 24 years back. And it was just so much happiness in a house.

Obviously, when you have your first child, it's something else, the whole emotion, like how people will tell you, this is how you feel when you have a child, that is how you feel. I'm like, what are you talking about man and

as the day my son was born I felt this connection like to another level and I'm like you know I I just never understood till you have your own child you know and so my kids I mean I have two boys in the second then they didn't let me name him I wanted to name him Dharam and my family said how can we call him by Papa's name I wanted to call him Dharam because my grandmother when she used to call out to my dad the way she said Dharam it just had this beautiful sound, emotion, sound, love.

It was just, just sounded that way. And they said to me, you can't, you know, you have to name something else. I said, who calls Papa by his name? Please tell me that, you know? So then, then I found another name

and I named my oldest son Aryaman because it sounded really nice and it has a nice meaning and then I had my second child I said if I have a boy I'm gonna name him after my dad and if I have a daughter I was thinking I would name her Nikki only because it doesn't matter in my house there are same name people, my cousins have the same name and I had a second son and then I said that's my dharam. Okay. So my second child is dharam and my dad always looks at him and says

you are like me because he's as emotional as caring and loving as my dad and so that's how my family I mean that's how I can name my kids.

Nice. Do you believe in Nazar?

I do. I got my Nazar removed yesterday. My mother always used to say, remove your Nazar. And my wife believes in it. So we removed everyone's Nazar yesterday.

Nice.

So today we can all talk.

We will have to remove Nazar again.

We will get it insider family and there's a lot of baggage to break, what is the biggest challenge? There is pressure, we all know this. But what is the pressure? That their name will be ruined, that my identity will be ruined. What is the big pressure?

At one point in my life I felt I couldn't live up to my dad's expectations. I always, I used to break down and I used to tell him, Papa I've let you down because you always said I was your golden child. Youngest always gets that kind of attention. Yeah. You were my golden child, you're the most beautiful child, the most good-looking child and I could never live up to that and then eventually now he tells me, he looks at me, he says now you found yourself. Wow! This is what you

needed to and you have it doesn't matter it's late or it's never late but you found yourself and I'm just so happy when you go out when you speak when you are working you found yourself you know and so coming that from my papa's what more do you want to hear from him you

know. You know there's a quote while I was thinking about this and I wrote down and found out just while research. Tell me if it's true for you or no. There was a quote that I wrote down specifically. I don't want to get it wrong. The only journey is the one within but most of us are forced to stop halfway because we inherit destinies that aren't ours. And we bury the lies that was never lived.

It's a little bit of a bounce for me.

But let me be a little easier on that.

Okay.

It's like, we all have a journey. We all know where we want to go. And it says something true about us. But because we all inherit some things, maybe the expectation, maybe what will they feel, how will they feel, the environment, because of that, the real true self stops halfway.

And then we keep trying to live up to that destiny, expectation.

It does happen.

Half of the time. And you said in the beginning that yes, there was an identity. Yeah, it does. the beginning that yes there was an identity. So what possible probably let's say, which possible versions of Bobby were there that you stopped and we couldn't see at that time

when you were 20 and you never explored. I just kind of controlled and became more introvert. I was naturally an extrovert and I controlled that because yes while growing up I was shy but I would enjoy so much of being a part of everything I did, everything what the film industry was all about. I want to be part of everything, be everywhere but my family was always nahi, wahan nahi jayenge, yeh nahi karenge, woh nahi karenge, you know because we can't get influenced by the industry. I don't know why my dad, we never had any parties at home. I was never allowed to meet other families

from the industry, their kids so much. Kyu? I don't know. What do you think? What could be the reason? If you have to look back. I don't know. Maybe my dad had his own way of looking at life at that point. What do you think? What version do you? He thought maybe I'll get spoiled. Maybe you know how a parent thinks, oh if he goes there, his kids will be spoiled. So I never maybe that's one of the reasons I was never allowed to go out. And, but I guess at that point, you see, as parents, we all learn how to bring up our kids.

Yeah.

You know, it's perfect. So for them, that was the way of bringing us up. And then you learn from your parents, how they brought you up and you look at the things they didn't do right. And then when you're living your life with your kids, you're trying to be as perfect as you can looking bringing them up and then some days you look back and say oh I shouldn't have done that. You know I

shouldn't have been this way or I shouldn't have made them do these things you know because nobody is born a parent. You become parents and you learn how to become parenting while having your kids you know so that's how it is. So I don't know it was them trying to keep me in a it is so I don't know it was being them trying to keep me in a prison but it wasn't that way it was just that it's not they were trying to do the best yeah but it forced you to become introvert

it did and then maybe I I mean I I still can't go to on stage and dance. I can't do that. Why? Because I just want to talk about myself or let my work speak. But dancing something, I mean, that reminds me even of Animal.

But you are an excellent dancer.

I am not an excellent dancer.

I remember Nayo Nayo and then I remember Animal. Both had different styles of dancing. But both caught on with the world. So So technically it means you're a good dancer.

I mean I believe I tell my kids that they want to be actors. I said you don't have to be a Hrithik Roshan or a Tiger Shroff because they're blessed with it. Yeah. You need to enjoy what you do. I mean the biggest example is my brother and my dad. They're not good dancers but when they dance people love it because I just want to see them dance you know and for me it's the same thing I mean I need a choreographer to teach give me the steps otherwise I can't do it yeah that's why when I did that song which became like I mean it viral it went which is not even a song it was just a music piece in

Persian and there was a choreographer that day and I'm telling Sandeep, Sandeep what I can't dance. No, no Bobby you do. I'm telling Sandeep, Sandeep what I can't dance. No, no Bobby you do. I'm doing he's saying no you're looking like Bobby Deore. I don't want you to look like Bobby Deore. I said dude what do I do? You want me to do but I only know what I can do. Yeah. Then I told Saurabh who's playing my brother. I said you dance let me see how you dance I said okay I'll dance like you then I don't know what hit me I just had a glass in my hand I just put it on my head and I

started dancing yeah and not knowing what the effect of that would be and Sandeep loved it and he shot it really well and next thing I know it became like viral to another level man. It was like insane. It's not like I was the only one who did it for the first time. There were so many people who have done it in the earlier films. But God just wanted my step to be the first of its kind and so that's me. I got lucky again.

And it has got to a level that it's not Abrahaar's step. It's Bobby Deol's step.

It's like that.

Okay, tell me one thing that you want to learn from your father and you want to pass on to them, and one thing you don't want to learn from your father and pass on to them.

They should have what my dad has in that sense, because my dad is a beautiful soul, and I want all my kids to have that beautiful soul and that's really one of the reasons why I always wanted to have kids early because what I have learned from my parents is filtered down from what they learned from their parents you know and that was very important for me because I always felt that I won't be able to you know give them that kind of information or make them understand

what relationships and what the world is and how it is. But obviously my wife is very much younger than me so we waited but we all live together so there's so much like I mean every one of us is so influenced by each and every one of us. Like they're influenced by my sisters, my brother, my dad, my mom, my chachi. And the only quality, I can't even think of a quality that my dad has that's bad.

You know, I think there's nobody, no one can be like my dad. I wish my I mean my kids could imbibe everything what he is you know so I just feel that way. Why do you say so? Because he's just amazing he is you know and I guess I get emotional about it because he's really getting older now and I wish my parents could live on forever and ever. So but I think big the biggest hand in way the way my kids are is because of my wife. I think my wife is my backbone my strength and if she was not a part of my life I would be completely

scattered even though I have a strong family but you have to live your life on your own. No one can, your mom and your dad can't hold your hand. In fact you have to hold their hands now to take care of them but no one can hold your hand and take you forward or anything and I think my wife is my biggest strength and I think my wife if any good qualities my kids have I think it's because of my wife I truly believe that. Do you believe that at one point your fathers or your

families your brother's success became a prison for

you?

I only was told to think like that by people around me. It's difficult for you because you are under the shadows of your brother, your dad. What shadow? I'm trying to, I mean, I'm not doing the kind of movies they did. And I have my own way of thinking and my own process of the way I do my work. But eventually when I, I still don't feel that because I always believed in myself so

strongly at that given point before everything went downhill for me. And even when everything went downhill for me, I still didn't understand that. But now I understand that. Now I see that. What?

That the comparison they make with you and your parents, with your father, with your brother. And now, in fact, the love I get, the love I've received all my life, and the way people have respect for me.

You know, I'm so blessed because I haven't met a single person who hasn't come up to me,

be it from my industry or from the outside, that when they saw me succeed,

it felt as if they were succeeding. What I mean by that is that, you know, identity foreclosure happens. Like it's like, when you come out of a very expected world, you in your own head, not outside world, you're like, I won't fully explore myself because there's a certain way that you have to live up to that expectation. Probably you didn't explore possible versions of Bobby because there was a right and wrong in your head.

Yeah, that's so true. That is so true, man. When you're an actor, you can't think of all these things, but because you're brought up in a way, you start thinking and not, you're letting your judgment not go the right way

because you have to respect that side of what you've been taught, you know? And that did come in my way strongly I would not choose certain characters or certain kind of projects because I felt it might upset my my dad, my mom, my brother, my sisters might say things but most of my dad and my brother and when I decided that I have to change things for myself

when I decided that I'm gonna be ready to face the world I'm gonna be ready for anyone coming knocking on my door all the things what I enjoyed about watching cinema and what I enjoyed I started focusing on that you know I started focusing on that, you know, I started looking at what did I enjoy about movies. It wasn't playing the main lead always because every time I saw a film obviously I saw mostly my dad and my brother's films so I always ended up looking oh I want to do this I want to do that but then when I used to see the

same films again but then I would think about those films and I would think, no that character in that film even though my brother was there, that one character stood out. He might not have had a very long portion of being in the film but it was interesting and I said to myself I have lost everything and now I want to do what I really enjoy. And I think that's how I started thinking to myself now I have to not, I'm not being wrong towards my parents, towards my dad or my brother. The only person I was answerable to was my wife

because that's what because she's my wife and she's my everything and every time I do a project I always first tell her like this is what it is you know and she says Bob I've seen you go through what you went through and I know what your dreams are and I know what you really want to do as an actor I'm with you you just go ahead and do it because you're an actor and you have to play characters in act characters which is not what you are but you want to do something which is out of your comfort

zone, go do it. So I think OTT platform really helped me do that and then obviously thanks to Mamu who I love I call him with love Mamu Salman. Because years back I mean I've said it in so many interviews I'm free I, when I'm talking I feel I'm repeating but I have to talk about him. He's a very special person in my life. Why do you call him Mamu? It's just something when we were young, we started work, it was just, you know how he was, we kind of same age group and you know, Masti Dosti, Salman is Mamu for you.

Yeah, I am Mamu to him. It's like that. I don't know how it came up. I still don't know. But I've known him because I used to be learning bike riding on the beach, horse riding on the beach and he had just done his first film and he was like a normal person walking, coming on the beach and he used to ride and he used to do his bike stunts with me. And he was always, he loves bikes.

He was really good at it. I used to be nervous because I've never been allowed to ride a bike on the street. I still don't know how to ride a bike on the street or ever. I mean, cycle I can ride, but not on the street. And so that's how the relationship though I used to play CCL and he used to keep telling me why have I grown a beard and you know the most funniest thing is I keep going back and forth but when I

grew my beard I was trying to work on a project which was a very dark kind of that kind of kind of genre and with this director but no one was backing it and I grew a beard because I wanted to play that character and everybody used to make fun of me. You know wherever I went. Which character? Ashnu? No no no this was something else totally. Okay. This is something my brother was helping me with. Okay. Kabhi aayi nahi hoon. Bani nahi. We didn't get funding only. But I did, but I learned. I did acting classes.

I did everything and I think God wanted me to go through that process. You know. So, things didn't work out. Then he would keep meeting me at the CCL matches, Celebrity Cricket League. He said, what happened to your beard? You are so good looking. Shave it off. I said, uncle, I'm just trying to do something different. He says, look, shave it off and look how my career moved forward. I was starting off and I was still not reaching anywhere and I climbed on to Sanjay Dutt's back and

onto your brother's back and I moved forward. I said, then uncle let me climb on your back. I want to go ahead. He said, no, no, I'll definitely think of something. And then that's how Race 3 happened, where I really transformed, where I really worked out, made a great physique, whatever I could for that in that short period.

And people noticed me. You know, it's like I knew being a part of a Salman Khan movie, millions and millions of people are going to watch the film. And the new generation had not known so much about me. So it was kind of forgotten. But when Race 3 came out, the young generation noticed me and they said, oh there's a Bobby Dior also, you know. And it really helped.

Everything I was doing was helping. Then because of that, I got Houseful, which again, Akshay Kumar, a big star. And again, kids connected with me because it was a comedy and they liked my character, whatever it was. But I was still not satisfied because that wasn't the cinema, as I said, when I decided that I wanted to work which is out of my comfort zone.

An OTT happened and I think that was the best thing that happened to not just me but a lot of actors who were in the same position as I was in and a lot of newcomers you know so Red Chillies was the first one to offer me Shahrukh's company. I did a film called Class of 83 where I didn't play the main lead I played a character and I really enjoyed it and I got a lot of phone calls for it but Ashram took the whole cake away. It just came and just went crazy. Again, thanks to Prakash Jha, sir.

I mean, I don't know what he saw in me, you know. I got a call from Shruti Mahajan, the casting director and she had come to me earlier for some character which I didn't like, I don't want to do and he says, you've got this, this is really good web series Prakash Ji is making and you have to you know go meet him I said I will I've been wanting to work with Prakashji since years you know and I'm open to it so when I went and met him he narrated and when he was narrating I thought he's gonna offer me the police officers road which Darshan played and

he says I want you to play the Baba and I'm like wait a minute what did I just hear and it was just given to me in a plot plotter you know yeah this is Baba you play this and that was like the best thing and I didn't tell my parents as you asked me the earlier question I didn't tell my father my mother my dad my brother because you know they would say something they would say why are you doing something like this but I told my wife I said you know

this character is gonna it's very tough it's very different it might just help me change what I'm trying to change about my image she said just go ahead with it and I did and when it released the amount of phone calls my father, my brother, my mother got from the people they knew, it was like never happened for a very long time you know in my career. They just went crazy about me playing a bad man who's so bad but they all loved me playing it you know and that was like

the best thing at that point of I mean best whatever was something I didn't even imagine I was like what what just happened in my life you know there was

one thing you left two loops open which I want to ask you about on that question yeah one was up in a key up to watch your father's and brother's movies, you used to find the characters interesting. That maybe this character came on screen for a very short time, or this other character apart from your father and your brother. And possibly also because you became immune by watching them,

so you would notice more other people, right? Give me an example, that in any movie, where in your brother's movie or a father's

movie, any other character you loved to watch? See it's like Omji in so many of the films my brother's done I mean I even used to love the villains in the film like Danny sir you know and Amrish ji you know to play those characters even in Ghail they were interesting then Omji in Ghail was so and Amrish ji, you know, to play those characters, even in Ghail, they were interesting. Then Om ji in Ghail was so interesting as a cop.

And there were so many characters like that, that I used to enjoy watching.

Which one did you love the most?

I mean, I have a lot of respect for Amrish ji and Om ji, not because they're not with us right now, but because they were great human beings. I get connected with people when they're like that mostly you know for me I Missed them because I had such a I was so lucky to have worked with them, especially with Amrish ji because I just did one movie with him and

I remember seeing him in Yatim. Oh my god. I was so impressed by him in Yatim his whole persona his my god I was so impressed by him in Yatim. His whole persona, his lives than life, you know the way he was you know like he would just take away the whole screen and he just looked at you. I just loved him in that you know. Yatim

was one of my brother's favorite films made by JP Dutta. What was about him as an actor now? He's done characters which are such caricature characters which are so over-the-top yet he was convincing. Yeah. And that is the most difficult thing for any actor to do. Be over the top and still not be irritating. You know because cinema when it started when it was now it's becoming a little real But at a point it was all about overacting and how you can convince people with your overacting

You know and if you really notice his work, you'll say oh my god such overacting, but you still enjoy him. Yeah, you know and And Omji because of his subtleness in the way he would bring out that Character and just perform in front of you. You know it was just, I just love Omji. Yeah true. So it was like even Sanjeev Kumar sir, you know he was a great actor. I mean all these people even like if you really think of Sholay, there are two people that really stay with you is Sanjeev Kumar's character and Amjad ji's character, they really stay with you.

Because they were kind of so important and special and they were all, I mean, especially for Sanjeev Kumar sir, he was not given that much but yet the power in his eyes, you know, the strength of his just being silent in a scene was magical, you know. So you can be, you can have a character which plays for the gallery and people enjoy when you watch a movie. So you forget, you give them more importance in your reviews, in your discussions, but suddenly when you sit back and you think

of the other characters and you say, dude that was like what a performance. So that's what I'm trying to do right now you know and I'm stuck with playing antagonist.

Not stuck, you nail it, you choose it, it's coming to you.

No but I enjoy them because they've all been different you know like Ashram was a completely different guy, different persona, different everything. Then Love Hostel again. You know, I always believe when I play these antagonist characters who are so-called negative

or the villains, I don't think of them while performing as villains or negative. Because when you really meet people, a lot of people in your life, like you do meet a lot of people, come across people who are, you're like, why can't they see they're wrong?

Why can't they see they're lying? Why can't they see that they're so wrong and mean? Because they don't believe they are. Because for them, their reality is something else. You know, their backstory is something else. So that's how I play these characters and that's why maybe I connect with the audiences you know because I I mean like for me Sandeep Reddy Vanga I loved his films I love his work no matter there's a lot of debate about what kind of movies he makes you want to get into that for me I don't think about all those things I

think about whenever I choose a project it's not about what people think of that person or don't think of the person. It's an entertainment business. So I think about the characters I play and unless they're not, they don't have substances, they don't motivate me or I don't have the gut instinct about it, I don't want to do them. And for me I love the way Sandeep Reddy Vanga brings out brings out the other side of every character which exists which is not

shown in movies because movies is always about good you know every good has bad in it yeah but he brings that grayer shades in every character and he brings a reality about it in a commercial way. So when he offered me Animal again it was like I couldn't believe that he has messaged me Hi this is Sandeep Reddy Wanga, I would like to meet you regarding a movie. I'm like what is this really Sandeep Reddy Wanga? I told my manager I said find out

Is it true or not?

Is it true or not? No, it's his number. I called him up immediately and I said Sandeep let's meet and then we met it was COVID time and he narrated the whole idea to me and as I said I was looking for work which is out of my comfort zone but when I met him I didn't expect him to say okay this is a story your cousins your relatives you have this enmity because of the reasons why each of your characters feel you were wronged and there's this beautiful climax sequence I have this song it's the love of the brothers which will be shown in that song while you're

fighting and your character doesn't speak I'm like hello I mean now I'm here with Sandeep Reddy Wanga and I'm getting the biggest biggest for me it was just working with Sandeep Reddy Wanga was the biggest moment I'm not just saying it I really mean that and I'm like and working with Ranbir like if I have two favorites in the industry I openly have been saying it is Ranbir and Alia, not because the others are not so good.

These are my choices. And I think Ranbir and Alia are two of the finest actors we have. And so the whole, I said, fine, I'll do it. I said, but finally when the shooting was taking

time and you know it's going on and I'm like calling suddenly what's happening no no we'll be shooting we'll be shooting this month then it would get pushed then I started getting insecure I said thinking have they removed me because you know it's not a very lengthy role but have they taken someone else don't they've changed their mind because these kind of insecurities are there in every actor's mind you know that it's a time killer rather than finally he said there's a bare-body fight sequence he told me and

I was like really working out doing giving it all out you know like and then finally when I did that I learned sign language and I knew it would be a good film I knew that again as a good film. I knew that again as a character people will enjoy, I hope they enjoy my work but I didn't imagine but it would be that moment in any every actor's life it changes everything for them. You know it was I swear it took me almost a year I kept pinching myself. I

sometimes even now pinch myself to really believe that oh my god things have really changed for me you know has it really happened so I think hard work really changes into luck there's so many people who work hard I just you know people kids come up message me sometimes or wherever I go they meet me what do you what advice can you give me you know I don't want to scare them from their dreams and I don't want them to not know the reality of it either so I always tell them it's very difficult look at me I'm the biggest example I'm

an insider and I still had to fight it to come up but don't stop dreaming but don't just dream work hard be disciplined you know and manifest but be disciplined because discipline is the most difficult thing to be it is every day I fight with this be disciplined I think you too I'm sure because you have to when you're disciplined everything falls in place. Yeah. Otherwise everything gets scattered. True.

You know so I think that's something I've really really tried to push myself to be disciplined. Eat right, sleep as much as I can on time, be in an environment which is only positive, you know, and just, I try to avoid being, I hate crowded places, but my whole industry is all about being in crowded places. But I think discipline and self-belief

and be a good human being first. That's what I was taught by my dad. Don't make excuses. It's easy to make excuses. It's like, you can be wrong and say sorry easily. Yeah.

You know, excuses are like that. So I always say don't make excuses because there's an excuse for everything. I tell my kids that. I tell them, you've seen your papa. You've seen what he's been through. Maybe you were very young when he went through that bad phase but you still saw what I went through and I have not drunk a drop of alcohol since over a year. I just said to myself if I want to celebrate, I want to remember what I'm celebrating, not get intoxicated

and not remember that moment which is so special to me. And I don't want to give a bhashan that you should not drink because I have no one to give that lecture. But I just still believe that there are a lot of these kind of things which we end up doing and we should just try to stay away from it because it takes away your focus in life. You know God has given me a second chance and I'm just trying to just make the most of it

enjoy every moment and make the most of it like even for me Bads of Bollywood. It was a call from Red Chilies and I was told that Aryan Khan is directing, would you like to be a part of it? They'd like to meet you. I said I'm doing it. I didn't even say I'm doing it I said. Because the biggest because I am from the same industry. I have two boys who want to get into this industry and if my own industry people are not there for me, where will I go? You know it's the thought I have

this emotion that's the fear you know you need each other and Shahrukh is just he's just amazing as a person you know Shahrukh is like so respectful he makes you feel so special you know these are the qualities my dad, I have seen them in my dad. And my dad is a legend and these are the qualities I have seen in Shahrukh. And that's what I mean. That's what every person should not be misled.

And also I mean I just wanted, I went to meet Aryan and sister narrating the whole story to me. Seven hours I sat with him and the way he narrated I was just taken in by his conviction because a few months back I met him at a party he was standing by himself and everyone there was a lot of people but I just saw him and I just went up to him and I chatted with him for half an hour and I just found something special about him. He looks intense but there's something about his

intensity, there's something in his eyes and when I met him and I actually sat and heard him I was like amazed you know and I was just like dude did I just get lucky being a part of this you know and then when I was on the sets and when I was working with him that's when I realized that I just got lucky because an actor can look as good, his performance can look only as good as it can because of a director. You can be the finest actors but the director can't see

that and use it in an actor it'll never come across and the kind of maturity Aryan has, I was just amazed and I kept telling myself I know what he must be going through. He is superstar's son. The pressure he has and he's chosen not to act maybe because one of those reasons but he's chosen even the most toughest aspect of filmmaking is becoming a director. But the way he was calm, the way he was on the sets and he just made us work really hard. And if there was no EP coming up to him and saying it's back up, he would never pack up I guess.

But that's the reason why people have enjoyed his show. That's what he did. He made every character look the character, play the part. You know, I mean, everyone's getting so much love for it.

Do you feel there are similarities between you and Aaravn? Because both of you have a background of insiders, Papa both are superstars, and then you work together. Maybe some kind of similarity or same level of...

I guess, I wish I had the same fire like he had now at this age I mean I started off with a lot of fire with a lot of this thing that I'm gonna you know kill it kill it but things got delayed for me a lot you know and but I was really involved when I started you know. Do you see any other similarities? Other than that no I think he very talented. I don't know if I'm that talented. And he has a persona.

I think his persona, he attracts you. He has this thing about him. He just attracts you.

But do you feel that probably he must be coming through the same pressure, thoughts and confusions through which you were?

Definitely. I'm sure he is. I mean, he's been through a lot more than I have. pressure or thoughts or confusions is our just get through up there definitely I'm sure he is I mean he's been through a lot more than I have in many other ways which no child should ever go through you know and but that's the way the world is becoming right now you know that's that's human beings but as a star

kid and as a part of industry, didn't you have to keep a lot of things in mind during the party? Didn't you overthink?

Not at that time.

There was no such thing at that time.

There was no paparazzi culture? There was nothing.

I mean, there was no phone that had a camera. So who would take a photo of you? Who would take a video of you? It has just started. Abhi shuru hua hai. Abhi agar main bada ho raha hota toh meri toh life ekdum. I think about my kids. I mean they are so under the scrutiny of PAPS and things like that. I keep my kids away from everything as much as I can.

Because obviously Aryan ka show tha first time. It was his first show and I took my son with me. My younger son is still shy. He doesn't know. But I just, it's a special moment. And so that's how it is. I mean, I obviously my family's culture is very traditional. But I always thought that I will never stop my wife from working. Because it's so unfair.

And my wife works.

But it's inevitable that your fame will go to your wife and your kids. And things will be difficult for them comparatively to what you were because today social media world.

Yes, that is there.

Do you tell them to keep in mind that they have to party but not at home.

No, I don't say anything like that because my wife has given such a good upbringing to my children and my children are so smart. I am not praising my children like that. I don't want to think about myself as a star once and it died. Why did you call me?

The meaning of this is that I don't want to think about myself as a star.

Because to sustain being a star is not that easy.

And when someone tells me that I go somewhere and I become a superstar or a star, Bobby Deol, I say, no, man, I am Bobby Deol. I am an actor. If you give me the respect of an actor, that means the world to me. But you were star once. I was because I had so many hits. How do you gauge anyone's, how do you, you know, there's no meter such. When you give a lot of hits, you become a star. Yeah. You get your market value becomes better.

Did it ever hit you? No, it never got to my head. What went wrong? I wish I realized how important or how short-lived it can be. Because I would have worked harder. I just went with the flow. I used to go for shooting, the film went well, it didn't go well.

I used to feel very sad. Then came a time when the films stopped going well. chal gayi, acha hua, nahi chali. Toh dukh toh baut hota tha. Phir ek samayah aise aaya ki, film mein chalna band ho gayi. Aur kaam milna band ho gaya. Kitne subjects jo mujhe milne wale the baaki actors jaake cheen lete the. Cheen lete the in the sense that wo office pe paunch jaate the aur convince kar lete the. People see my insecurity that this film is not going well, so they buy this. This happens a lot. Every business.

What went wrong when? Give me an incident where you felt, now it's done.

I guess, I couldn't not say no to a lot of people. When I make relations with people, I can't say no to them easily. I don't know why, I don't become selfish. I don't think that my work is first and then my relationship. For me relationships are important and I respect them. But being in this line, it's not about relationships. And I learned that from my, I saw my dad doing that. He has done so many films that didn't work but they did it for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes they did it for no reason. But I kept myself the same way.

Then I saw that I am not going and no one comes. For whom I did the work, they are taking someone else. So I have done things like that in my career where I didn't think of how it would take me back.

But that's how you learn. where I didn't think of how it would take me back.

But that's how you learn. When did it end?

Like what was the specific moment where it ended? The work stopped.

The work stopped and it was not like it stopped. But it was such a work that even now I think how will I get this work done by work? How will I do this role? I started getting such roles. I didn't want to do that.

Do you think it was your fault that you didn't get this work?

Definitely. I think maybe because I didn't see many hardships what my father saw when he struggled to become an actor. So you took it for granted. Is that what you say? Maybe I did because I was given everything. Life was very comfortable. And...

On whom do you work now that you have this understanding?

I work on myself.

Like?

Like I am more focused. I take care of my health. I take care of what I eat. I listen to scripts not just listen to them I work with my directors and writers. I sit and discuss things. I don't just let it happen I really really into I really get into the whole Into it, you know, I mean I did it. I like the respect What I do I will come back as a good boy, you know what kind of a director is he? How can I say something? Because we were taught that. He is elder to me, how can I say that what you are doing is not right.

This dialogue is not right. Now I am not like that. Now what I feel, I discuss. And luckily I have met such directors who listen. I think what makes you a good director or an actor is when you listen. Because it's all about action reaction. If as a director you don't listen to your actors you won't understand them and you won't be able to get the work out of them. And an actor when he's performing if he doesn't listen to his character who's playing

opposite him, you won't give the reaction. You know. You are not feeling it. You are not listening. He is saying something and you are reacting to it. These are things I have learned over the years. And also, I get up every day in the morning. I always say that I am going to conquer the world. I motivate myself. What was the most important thing for me?

What I lost from my hands. Being on the set. You know, every day be on set. I am on set. I don't think why is it taking so much time in between the shot. I will ask what is happening. Why is this happening? No. God has given me this opportunity again to be on a set. Did you do this before?

I might have done this before because I was immature I feel. Were you a little tantrumy pompous? I wasn't. Maybe people thought that way because that's what I heard about myself on the internet. People used to say I used to come late to work, I didn't want to work. It was never like that. I was never late to work. I never, you know I gave one interview years back and that's when I spoke about all these things because people had a wrong impression about me and that wife has a lot of money, she doesn't need to work.

There is nothing like that. What do you think is the biggest misunderstanding about you? See, actors get misunderstood very easily because that's the world we live in. People speak a lot, people like to hear only bad things about people you know and that gets more spoken that gets more likes. Oh as you say it in a new language but I just that's why I said wherever I go people tell me that we are happy because you are successful. We are happy. So that's an achievement. I think it's the biggest achievement any actor can get.

Fair.

What do you think about the misunderstanding?

Misunderstanding is what I have cleared that I am not lazy.

How do people know this?

Yeah.

But today, what do you think? Is there a misunderstanding?

There is no misunderstanding.

Now people know you for who you are.

Yeah. Now people are giving me so much respect. Because at the end of the day, my work is speaking. Whatever happens, no matter how many interviews I give myself to clear things up, no one will listen to my work. But when I meet people, they tell me, when your work wasn't even going well, there was not a single bad word for you.

We like you so much. But there was a time when I was a troll for becoming a DJ. I was called a DJ. I used to get messages from time to time. This thing happening, would you be interested in being a DJ? I said I'm not a DJ. What was that? There was an incident when you are an actor, maybe you also sometimes get called to events and you get paid to be at the event. I was invited to a nightclub in Delhi for a special night.

I was a guest and they told me to stand behind the console and wave my hand as if I was playing music. Now the music would be played by the actor. DJ is playing my songs. So that was going on. The crowd was fine. Then after a month, I don't know who started trolling me. They made me think that Bobby Deol was playing his music. Some took it in a negative way. Somebody thinks that Bobby has become a DJ. I don't know the ABCD of DJ.

Till date, people have been telling me that they have a plan B, DJ Bobby Deol. I don't know how to DJ. Abhay does DJing. Abhay likes to do that. But I don't. So that's one thing people miss. I mean, I was misunderstood.

Did you ever feel bad?

I was broken. My heart was broken. People made fun of me. I'm being honest. When people make fun of you, your heart breaks. You know and that's when you start giving up more and more and that's where the things which give you comfort are the wrong things like alcohol.

What was the worst thing you felt at that point?

People used to make fun of me. You know how mean people can be. Tell me the meanest thing you've read about yourself or heard. Oh I read, first time I read something like this was when I did Soldier. Hmm yeah. That I was a bad actor and all this though my film was a big hit by this very famous editor and the guy who used to preview and I didn't speak to that

magazine for one year. I said I don't want to talk to these people. Then they came and met me and because I was still doing well you know. Yeah. So they came and then I said okay but I was really hurt that time. There was this famous celebrity lady who called me an Italian waiter but then she recent times she tried to be nice about me so these things happen.

So what was your fear at that time?

Conscious obviously I was fear of being embarrassed. It happens.

Not anymore?

Not anymore.

What changed?

I don't know I'm fearless Besides making me dance on stage.

I'm fearless about everything.

You're a good dancer. You should dance more.

I don't know. I don't remember the steps of my own films. The rest of the actors leave. The song plays and they start their steps. I can't do all this. I really can't. So I tell them before I leave,

if I go to a reality show, don't make me dance, but they would still make me dance. But that's it. I am not afraid of anything else.

You are fearless today.

I am fearless. I think to a great level I am fearless. And at that time, you were afraid that someone might embarrass you. No one would embarrass me. You were trying toain your image. No, I can't be a Banarvati.

I am very unfiltered. I don't know how to be filtered. I don't know how to filter myself when I am talking. Abhay is the opposite of me. Abhay is Abhay. But I love that about him.

What kind of dynamic is your Abhay?

He is very younger than me. He is 7 years younger than me. So Abhay is very, I think one of the most talented actors. He has such strong beliefs that he has done what he wants to do.

He is a good entrepreneur also.

Yeah, I mean, he is, he is, he, some things are not right, he says that this is this, that is that, but nothing like that. He doesn't tell me so much but he has made a beautiful house in Goa. He keeps telling me to come stay there. I don't like Goa that much.

Why?

I don't know. I think I like the mountains.

Okay.

I'm more of a mountain person than beaches. It's not that Goa is not beautiful. Goa has a beauty. But...

You like mountains.

I like mountains. I like the cold. But I keep telling him, if you weren't an actor, you would have become a lawyer. Because I can't win an argument with him. I've told him that from the beginning. I cannot argue with him because we end up fighting. And he's young, so he can handle my anger. You know, he's in our family. He's always saying anything, even if he's younger.

He's the most intelligent.

Yes, that's right.

And a lot of times, he's younger, so we're like, okay, let's keep talking. You can go to your side.

I remember, we live in a joint family. When my brother got married, Abhay and I used to sleep in a joint family. So when Abhay and I, when Abhay got married, Abhay and I used to sleep in the same room. And at night, I used to wait for my dad. When will we sleep? Because he used to call me up.

VHS was playing at that time. He would connect it, put this on. And I used to come. I wish I didn't come. They didn't ask me. So I used to wait for him. I put the film on. Then I used to leave. I used to keep a pillow under the blanket and used to tell Abhay that if anyone asks,

tell them that Bobby is sleeping and not waking up. So I used to tell him that youíre not doing it the right way. Let me help you.î So, he was helping me. I felt very lovingly that someone was really sleeping. He put the blanket and I left. Then, a few years later, I came home.

Abhay? And I saw that these are pillows. Abhay is missing. Then my mother used to say, ìYou spoilt Abhay. How did I spoil him?î I have a lot of beautiful memories of growing up. Though I bullied him a lot. I wish I didn't.

I wish I wasn't like that.

You spoke about Imtiaz Ali, there was one movie you got released. Kya hua aise mein? Tell me.

Kuch nahi hai. I think. Did you feel bad? Jab aapko aise baat? I was heartbroken as I said, I mean these things break your heart. I was not getting work. I was doing films with certain directors which they I was just doing them. They were typical Bollywood films and there was this story which in fact with Imtiaz I have nothing against him. I love the guy. He's just an amazing director. One of the most talented directors we have in our industry and a really lovely guy and I guess in that moment in his career also he was insecure and he had to make choices but the thing happened in the

most bad way because I was trying I saw rough cut of the first half of Sochana tha and I was taken complete bored over the film. I was like what a film he has made I met Imtiaz and I said Imtiaz I want to work with you No matter what, you write a story for me. I want to work with you. I think he is the only director whom I have ever said this. And he said I will definitely write. So he started writing and then my time was not coming. So a producer came to me I forgot the name of the company and I told him that they wanted to film with me so I told them to take Imtiaz. But they had some reasons they didn't want to take Imtiaz

So I said what should we do? So I said let's find the heroine. Who will play the heroine? I sent her to Kareena Kapoor. Kareena sweetly heard it but she said no. Then time passed. It's been a year or two. Then I spoke to Preeti. Preeti said, I will do it butkin 6-7 maine baad. Aur ussi 6 maine baad, wo hi log jo Imtiaz ko nahi lena chahte the, wo hi produce, unhone hi produce ki. Imtiaz ko sign kiya, Kareena Kapoor ne kiya aur Shahid Kapoor played the role I was supposed to play.

But jab bhi Mat. Yeah Jab Bhi Mat. Usfak uska naam kuch aur tha. Kareena ke character ka naam kya tha? I have forgotten.

Geet.

Geet tha title jab hum kahaani likhi gayi thi. Kyunki it's about the girl. Well, but it's my destiny. I wasn't meant to be in it. But at that point I was going to really enjoy doing. I really loved the story of Geet. Then at the same time when that happened, I got offered Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, which again I was really happy.

Chalo, yeh nahi hua, kamse kam Yashraj Banner has taken me for a project. But that also was a disaster, box office. So things were just not working for me. Did you feel at any point inferiority? Yeah, my wife always told me. Yeah. Why do you think so less about yourself? At that time you were feeling less about yourself? During that one phase, that phase of five years, six years, I used to think less of myself. I used to even go to parties, I used to

stay in one corner, not try to come in the forefront. I just didn't feel that anyone wanted to talk to me or anyone wanted to give me any importance. You are small. Yeah and then when I used to go, I used to get importance. I used to stand there. If I met someone, I would say hello. I used to keep looking everyone is with them, who they need. So I used to get to you.

But it's taught me, failure has taught me that you can't take anything for granted. You cannot, you can't get lost. Because it was with me and it's gone. And if I get lost again, start thinking big in my head, it's going to go away, It's going to hurt me more. You know, so I don't, I still, I just listen to people.

I don't like to have people around me. There were a few around my brother. But I never believed their truth. I knew that they were just saying this to keep you happy. So I never get taken in by any of these big dogs. I always believe that I know what I am doing. And I can feel it. And I feel it more now than I did before.

And I can feel it. And I feel it more now than I did before. And I can feel it and I feel it more now than I did before. And then at 3 o'clock in the morning, this all happened to me after Animal released. So I sat and watched Animal on Netflix. I saw what I did. I watched that 3 hour film completely. Still I didn't understand what I have done.

You know, I'm like, I went to sleep around 10 o'clock in the morning and I got up at 11. And by 12 I left for work. And I shot for 12 hours with him. And when I reached there, there were no dialogues. He gives dialogues right there. And such moments were created in the script that you should just understand the emotion. And the words would just come. So I've never worked like that before.

And so it was... I always say that I felt like I was doing a workshop. I am taking an acting class for three weeks and I am learning. I have learned a lot in it. As an actor how to tap my inner soul even more. How to be real. To be ourselves like how I am right now in front of the camera is not that easy. You know. At that time when you are all heroes, larger than life, that no one

can harm you. You do such roles and then all heroes, larger than life, that no one can harm you, you do

such roles.

And then one project goes in your life, another project goes and then you start doubting yourself. You are going to parties, you are thinking that I am maybe lesser. What about you, you felt lesser? Because inferiority complex is very normal.

Every human being goes through it. Everybody goes through it. It's not just me alone. Everybody goes through it. Everybody goes through it. It's not just me alone. Everybody goes through it. At one moment, at one given point. But for me, it was a very long period, I feel.

So what was the inferiority about? That I'm not a big star? That I'm useless? Or I don't know how to act? Or I'm not liked by anyone? Or I'm not powerful enough?

I think it's all of these things. All these things what you just said, all these things come to mind at once. And so it becomes more and more, it brings you down and because I'm so emotional, it kind of made me even more weaker in that moment. and alcohol was my only support system at that point and I just started drinking a lot and not realizing what it was doing to me you know kept blaming the world around me. They don't understand me.

What did they blame you for? They don't know my potential. I can do it. If he is acting, I can do it too. All these thoughts start running in our minds. But why are they doing this? Why are they improving? Why are they liking their work?

Because they are working on themselves. They are not giving up. They have self-belief. All those things no one realizes. Salman is Salman because of his self-belief man. Shahrukh is Shahrukh because of his self-belief and hard work. You know, Aamir, my brother, Akshay, Ranveer, Ranveer, all of them.

Everyone is because they have so much belief and I think there's so many other actors who don't reach that kind of stardom but you enjoy them as actors. There's so many of them. In my web series itself, Pads of Bollywood, Manish has done such a great job. Manoj Bawasar, he's been there in the industry for so long. He's always been there, always entertaining us, you know. And look at Raghav. Look at his journey, man. Raghav Lakshay Booth. Yeah, I mean, they have a journey. I mean, all of them. So, I love Raghav Bhai. I love Raghav as a person also. I love watching

like I've been following him since I mean when I was a kid and then I love how he's evolved over the years from that one slow-mo walk I don't know if you know him.

The other day my younger son is a big fan of his. I'm a big fan. My son, my younger son Dharam is a big fan of his and because my younger son is just obsessed about movies, movie making and to another level not that my older son isn't. So he showed me that video of his. Slow Mo Walk. When he had learnt the Croc Rocks dance and you know it was just lovely to watch that yeah and it's so amazing and so beautiful to see him now. His journey and he's so grounded so

incredible actor he's incredible to another level I mean I don't know if you've seen the show as yet this is whole scene about him and Imran Ashmi but the way he starts and he sees him and he has this emotion in his eyes and he's singing a song. People are laughing. But you can see he's emotional and that's a sign of a great actor.

I told him that. I mean, I think even Lakshya, I think everyone in the show, I mean, they've all worked so hard and how Aryan has got work out of each and every one of them is incredible. Raghav was saying, you know, when I was offered the role, I was told to play a friend. I'm like, what's happening? Should I play the role of a friend? So Aryan told him, why are you thinking so much?

Sit, we'll discuss what you can do, how you can do and see what the show turned out for him. So I told him, I said dude we are lucky we got a great director who understands each and every one of us as the actors what we are capable of. What was the lowest point in your life when this period was going on? Lowest point was that I was going through a bad time, my brother was going through a bad time, my dad was obviously not doing so much work, house was going through that pressure but my brother would never show the pressure.

He would always want to take care of every one of us and they never gave me the responsibility. They always hid the stress thing from me because this is just and I now I feel why did

they do that? Shelter child. Yeah so that's what I'm saying. Give me an incident or moment where you felt that I'll leave it, I can't do it anymore. Because there was a moment where you have talked about that you started drinking a lot and then you started self-pitying yourself and you were just going in this spiral and going low. So what was the moment where you were like, let me quit.

There's nothing that, it's not harming me. So let me drink. I want to work. I still want to be an actor. But I was not seeing the mirror too often to see how bad I started looking. You know and what was I mostly liked for or casted for was the way I look, my physicality more than an actor and then one day I was sitting, I used to just be home and my wife works and my son suddenly tells my wife in front of me, obviously they didn't say it purposely

they were saying, you know mom you go hard in company of the purpose of a check everybody better at them and I just changed everything for me that I just couldn't handle that. What did you feel about yourself? What am I doing? What kind of a father what kind of example am I setting up for my kids? How will they grow up? How will they get that fire to do something in life? If I am giving up. I can't do this to my children. They didn't ask me to give birth to them. I gave them life. I brought them to this earth.

So it is my responsibility that I should be a good example for them. And that's when I changed. I started working out, I started preparing myself, I started doing acting classes, I did a few here and there. I tried to be ready so that if anyone came knocking at my door I would do something but even at that point I did some films because my brother always wanted you know like we do something we managed to do Yamuna Pagla Diwan and all those things which were just bad

directors bad scripts except for the first one nothing was working out you know but even then I just started not letting that come to me I I started just, I said, no, things will happen. Things will happen.

Self-belief started coming.

Self-belief started coming.

Did you do any weird job?

No, dude. I've never done a weird job.

I mean, maybe something which you said,

I can't dance in reality. So there's like, okay, now nothing is working out. I'll add this or dance, go to Mundan.

Nobody used to call you. Nobody used to ask.

Not like DJs.

No, that...

That I become one.

That was like, I went to events. I mean, I wanted to be the bread earner. I mean, my wife was earning but I used to just go to places. I went to so many talent agencies to get to take me on. For work? Yeah and no one took me on. No one. And you told them to sign you? Yeah. With request or with attitude? No, with request. There were times when I was trying to get back. I want to meet people, I want to

get an agency. System was changing. So, a lot of talent agencies started coming up. I knew them also. And they just said no. Why? We can't do anything for you. No, you don't have any demand. Yes, we can't do anything. And I was like what the f... you know I mean one person I know very closely did that to me. That really hurt me. But then I've learned from all these things. I've learned from all these situations, I've learned from all these

situations, all these people around me that you can't give up because nobody's yours. When you are of need, I mean when you are of use, they will need they will use you if you get it will make things change for them. But Salman, UBTI is a company. I've been, my work has been taken care by them, you know. At least that kind of person who created a talent agency for people who he could help and I'm a part of that and even then I wasn't getting work. So Nikhil Debedi

who's one of the partners in it, a good friend of mine and I would say why isn't it happening? He said Bobby, it doesn't happen. Talent agencies don't bring such work. It'll come. Then slowly and things, when things changed, then I realized, okay, maybe those people who said no to me, they can't do anything for me were right. Because they couldn't do anything for me. I broke my back in the first film. Last day of the shoot. My brother wanted to enhance my introduction. And I had to fight the tiger. So they give tiger's moustache here.

So we don't have any cruelty to animals. No one saw it at that time. Now they probably see it. So we said we won't do such a shooting. So we went to Italy. In Italy, in a small village, there is a man who has his own zoo.

Where there is a Siberian tiger, this is a tiger, black panther, there are many such animals. So I went there and fought with him, with the tiger. With a real tiger? Real tiger.

Opened his mouth.

I mean, I used to stop thinking. Tiger. Mook khulla. Meri to matlab main sochna band kar deta tha. Wo aise ek meat ka piece aise rakhte the. Aur usko gale pe na patli metal ki wire se pakad ke rakha tha. Uske naakun kaate hoi the. Dant mook khulla tha. Wo aata tha.

Usko bas meat chahiye. So I had to put my hand under his neck. And he would come and eat meat. And I was doing this. Like this. Like I'm fighting. But imagine a dog biting you. I mean, this is a tiger, man. God damn it. But we did that.

And then we went to London. We had to give some shots of horse riding. And in the first shot, my hand broke. So luckily, it was the last day of shooting but after that I have the fear of riding horses and things like that. Did you went through depression or dark phase? I mean I would not know how to call that period of my life. Maybe I was in depression when I was not working but or

I was just sad. Did you become monster inside? No. A negative person? No, I should just drink and become you know both sides. Anger, chit-chit. And all those people who are close to you can see that. Did they see a version of you which you are not proud of? Yeah, my wife. What? She saw angry, annoyed or disappointed? Anger, behaving badly, saying stupid things because that's what alcohol does to you. It messes with your brains and you don't

know what you're talking or saying. It's just anger and negative thoughts in your head which are not even real or true but you're just feeding that. People think people drink alcohol and say the truth. It's not the truth. It's the pain that everyone feels is the truth. But the people who are closest to you can only hear, understand and tolerate that. And I think that's one of the biggest reasons where I feel that I finally have stopped drinking since over a year now. Because, for whom am I working?

For my family. And if I see fear in their eyes, or sadness, that what is dad doing to you? It's not like I used to drink every day. But when I drank in that phase, whenever I drank, even a little, they were scared.

Because you would... Because they would just not know how I would be.

And it's poisonous. You start spitting venom.

It's horrible. Alcohol is like it should have it written on the label. You know it's injurious to health. It is. It's the biggest addiction. It is more addictive than actual drugs. It messes with your brains like narcotics does. That's what it does.

It should be written as injurious to relationships.

Yeah, basically injurious to what you really desire.

Did you ever feel ashamed to talk to them at any point when you were low?

No, nothing like that. That is so good. I never felt ashamed. It never happened in our family. He is like a father figure to me. I was always scared of him. I never even drank in front of him.

Later, when we got married, I drank in front of him. But I never did that.

Ashram was a negative thing, coming back. All your people must have told you not to do it around you.

Salman called me up. He found out. He said, Bobby, I heard you doing this, you're playing this character. I said, no, I'm not playing that character. I'm playing a character which is based on all the characters that exist in our country. It's a mashup of all of them.

I said, yes, and I said, uncle, I really want to do this. Okay, then fine.

He was really caring.

I don't know how he found out. I didn't even tell him, but he found out.

But that must have been a little scary.

I didn't sleep the whole night. Salman is also saying the same thing. And I didn't tell my mom, brother and dad. I said, no, I have to do it. And then during the promotion, you got a vertigo attack? I got it. I have a vertigo issue.

Okay. But that trigger must have happened when you were thinking a lot, you were very tired, head spinning, overthinking.

What I have is that, that's what the doctors tell me. I have Menios.

Ear.

Yeah. So, what happens when the liquid overflows, the crystals get displaced and that happens. So when you're stressed also, it can happen.

So you were stressed about what people will say, what is my role, how will people see me, stressed about whether I will have a comeback or not.

No, what will people say? I wasn't thinking about a comeback because I didn't do this show for a comeback. I did this show for my personal reasons that I have to challenge myself as an actor. What can I do as an actor so that people will talk about my work. So that's the way I thought about it. So people will say you are scared. Like yeah because I was wondering how my fans would react.

Who called you first after that? When the show went live. Now you are waiting for feedback because what will people say? Two or three people must have called.

I can't recollect as such, but I know who all, like my brother's friends. My brother saying, Bobby, my friend called me. He said, you did a great job. He wants to talk to you. Call him.

And then all his friends, not just one, all his close friends, he doesn't have too many, and then my dad, he's saying, mujhe phone aa rahe hain beta, tune show ki ashram, sab bol rahe hain, tune kamal kar di. Fir mere ma, mere saheeliyon ke phone aa rahe hain, wo tujh se milna chahati hain, She lives in Delhi. One is here. She said, you look so cute. I said, cute?

They said.

You did such a good job. I said, okay. I didn't expect that. You know, so.

Any call that stunned you? What did they say? Something that you were...

This is... I mean, to get so much love and to say you are amazing and, you know are amazing and you know they love you for playing that character. My fans, I have few fans on my whatsapp you know and as I say I cannot stop if people want my number I can't stop myself from giving it but I have a few fans and I stay in touch with

them in that sense and and I met a few of my fans who said I made a difference to their lives you know and it makes me feel so responsible as an actor in many ways because I was their support without them knowing me personally when they were going through a bad time in their lives and I helped them get out of it there's so many people I meet like that and it's just I

never thought that I could make the difference to people's lives, you know, so I have fans like that. I have fans who've got you know in my WhatsApp ID I've I call myself B and a D. So I put it as B double E, D double E, and I put a B, whatever they call it, emoji of a B. So one fan has made a tattoo of that on his arm.

Then one, I mean, there's so many like that. There's one fan who took my autograph, and next thing she comes and meets me, and she shows me my autograph on her hand. So I have a lot of love. I'm very blessed you know and it's all and you know for me like I might keep a security guy with me but I can't say no to people because I always tell myself whatever I am today it's because of the love. I would be

nothing and I mean animal changed everything for me. I mean animal was like I remember the day when I was shooting with Aryan and you and Ali Bagh and we were coming back on the ferry and just before the ferry ride day before, Sandeep called and said, Bob, I made the teaser and I have a surprise for you. So I'm like, okay, you know, and it's coming out the next day.

And we were on the ferry and network is bad. I'm trying to watch it, I'm trying to watch it. Then finally, somewhere I got network, I'm watching. And okay, it's going on going on and the title is coming I'm still not in and then suddenly in the end I come you know doing that knife thing and I'm trying to understand okay this is a surprise yeah it looks

interesting but then I'm showing all the crew members of Aryan show and everybody we just shot the whole night we just got the ferry we did not slept so everybody's in the zoning out so people are reacting yeah yeah yeah I don't like okay this is the biggest film I've done after a long time and you know I'm really kind of counting on it and was reacting and then I got into the car and my phone network got caught I mean

outside working properly the amount of messages I started getting with that one teaser was to another level man. To look. Yeah they just I mean and working with Ranbir Kapoor, I mean I'm telling you I'm a big fan of his. I worked with a lot of actors they've changed so much they're so insecure and Ranbir is not insecure one bit Salman is not insecure one bit I'm talking about these big names there are other actors I've worked with who just want everything

for themselves you know and Ranbir imagine doing that scene where suddenly while we were doing the fight sequence, he told me that, no I want Bobby's character hits him, Ranbir falls and Bobby falls on top of him and he lights a cigarette. I mean that's the coolest moment you can possibly even imagine. And Ranbir didn't say a word. He went with it because he knew how important the film was and how important it is to

have your antagonist look powerful enough so that your character comes out properly otherwise if you see climax fights of any film which so one-sided in the beginning hero will get punched two three times and then it's all disham disham and he's done yeah yeah so I just I mean the kind of love I got after that film because my fans were waiting when when our Bobby will make a film where we will feel proud. He felt proud from the ashram but the magic of silver screen is something else

altogether. It changes your life. Yeah as someone who loves reading, learning, body language, presence I love understanding about influence. What I saw is power of silence. What you did in those few minutes, the whole just like you are the main thing in

that without even saying a word.

And you made your presence. You know, that that vibe it just came out where you were not extra built. You were not shown that the rest are small and you are big. There was nothing like that.

And now you are giving a very heavy dialogue.

In that climax scene also,

neither the lead actor is big, nor you are big. Both have equal screen. Everything is equal. And still, this power of gaze. Every moment, every shot, the way you stand and hold, just tells something.

How do you make people feel presence in that?

Because it is very difficult to show that. As I said, I don't feel less about myself anymore. My wife always told me, you are special. There is something about you which is special and you need to believe that. You're nothing ordinary you know and I think somewhere I started believing that the self-belief has come and I know myself I've understood myself. I've understood myself. I know that I can create that when I feel it honestly. I mean I was nervous like hell when I was walking and you know and I walked

into this the whole dance sequence first happened then the second part of the scene happened and then he told me I'm not lying I'm not trying to boast about myself and I'm sitting and I'm walking in and now I'm a family man so I was feeling it because I am a family man see this is what an actor needs I was just walking in I was giving respect to everyone because I'm a nice person I respect you unless you do something wrong to me I meet my mother mother, she's sitting there, I meet my wives, I look at them, I know they are

irritated that I'm not equal with them and I'm getting married for the third time and my kids mean the world to me and these thoughts stay with you. And somewhere, luckily God has given me a structure which has that kind of attention seeking kind of structure I guess and then when I did that shot where he comes and tells me something in my ear and I just look at him and then I look at my brother, I could feel that someone's killed my brother.

That was my emotion, that was what I felt and I just went and I just slaughtered that guy and when I came and I did that shot from that point that I beat him and I just slaughtered that guy and when I came and I did that shot from that point that I beat him and I walk and come and do the shot, there's one take and they said cut. Everyone started clapping. Now I'm like okay these actors who come to do these small roles they're always excited so they must have clapped and Sandeep came and said Bob what a shot I was watching you and you're emoting it and the way you took the direction of your emotions and

then you came back it's an Oscar-winning shot these are his words and he said done and I'm still insecure. He saying this because I can't act. What did I do that I... You know, because that's what he felt in that one shot. But I just was out there with the biggest opportunity of my life.

I wanted to give every inch of me, every bit of me to that character.

But can you go darker than what you've already done? Let's say darker than Animal, darker than ashram.

Yeah, I could. I mean, but how dark can anything get than ashram? Animal wasn't dark. Animal was just a man who was just angry. His backstory was more sad than Ranbir's backstory.

If you really look back.

Tell me, what's the definition of alpha for you?

Oh my God.

You've played good boy and bad boy. Extreme alpha, extreme tough. See, there are different kinds.

What's alpha for you in real life? See, an alpha for me in real life is someone who takes care of his loved ones. And he's protective no matter even if it's not his near and dear, he's a protective person. He's not someone who take advantage of anything that's what an alpha is but you can alpha can be taken in many ways you know alpha people think is arrogant, he's narcissist, he's that he's not that. I believe alpha is someone who's a protector. What's something about love that you have learned, which you really adore

about your relationship with your wife? For me, I would not be able to describe it in one word, I will only be able to tell you that for me my whole life, my everything. It is so funny but parents usually come first in your life and give you everything but the way my wife has been there for me, she takes the first place in my life. Not that I don't love my parents but she means everything to me. That's how I feel for her. What do you absolutely adore about her? Her simplicity. When she's with me in front

of paps she's so conscious and she just fumbles and you know how people put comments and I'm like I laugh about it with her and the other day we were going somewhere I didn't call I mean usually nowadays the culture of calling perhaps you know it's become like a thing you do but I didn't call perhaps that day and perhaps were there and we were going and I just said to her I said you know this is how I would like

to see you that the smile you had on your face that day, you know, it was just so beautiful. Because it was just, I don't know, it was just a beautiful moment, which was captured by thanks to a pap.

But let me make it more difficult.

Let's say if your wife is asking you, why do you love her?

What would you say?

I love her because she loves me more. That's what I feel. And why do you think she loves you? Because she does more for me than I could do for her. I don't think I can, she's so strong. She gives me more strength than I can give her.

And she's just, just amazing. Are you more close to your dad or mom? Every child is close to the mom, no matter what, no matter how hard you try, because I wanted that to change with my kids. I wanted my kids to love me more than their mother but no, first call goes to

the mother then comes to me, even the mother doesn't listen, you know that's how it is. Papa tell mama I want this. I'm like why, why are you asking me now? You could have asked me first, I would have allowed you because I can't say no to my kids. Now your mother knows, now I can't do anything about it. She's right.

You're the spoiler.

I just can't say no to them.

Okay, here's the last question. And that is that you've been invisible for years and you've had a great run and now you're everywhere. You've completed almost 30 years in the industry. Yeah, 6th of October. Right, so it's big, three decades, it's big and you've been in ups and downs, you've seen everything. What do you know today about this fragile like image or stardom that you didn't know back then?

I mean, I didn't know about, as I said, when I started my career, I never thought there was competition. I never thought that you have to go knock on everyone's door for work. And it exists, you have to. and that's how the world moves and then there's nothing wrong in it because that's how you have to operate you know you have that's the only way to function that's what I've learned other than that

I think I feel that I still believe that I don't want to be seen so much besides being seen in my movies. Because I rather, I wish there were no phones with cameras on it, because my kids can't enjoy their life. I just wish for that, because that's a difficult part of being from a film family. I love my work. I am happy that I'm sitting here with you and I'm that special or important that you

wanted to interview me. I feel honored that you came. No, but I'm just saying that. I swear, that's just what I feel. You know, I'm so grateful to God for being able to be doing all these things and giving my voice to what people misunderstand through you, you know. And that's what it is, you know, I mean.

30 years later, do you feel that you're getting started or this is?

I just started, dude.

It's my third year. It's not my 30th.

I just started and I have a long way to go. You will see me. I mean, I always, I just, I hope I take my last breath while I'm working. That's what I wish for. And I hope when I take my last breath while I'm working. That's what I wish for. And I hope when I take my last breath,

I don't regret hurting too many people in my life. Have you hurt people? I have, I must have. No one can be perfect.

Do you intentionally know that you hurt people?

Not.

Like do you consciously know?

I might have hurt them for my selfish reasons. We always do that. Are you consciously aware that there are people that you've hurt? You have that in your back of your head? I have because of the way I might have been after drinking, the way I might have spoken to someone without trying to be mean. I can't handle it. When I say I'm when I'm wrong with someone I have to immediately go up to them and say I'm sorry after half an hour or so

because I can't take that guilt but But we all end up being wrong sometimes, you know. So for me, that is something which, we can never be perfect. We'll end up hurting someone or the other without knowing.

But are you forgiving about it usually for yourself, or you're like, you hold it and you regret it for years?

I...

You are in guilt.

I stay with guilt because I can't help but feel wrong about something I've done. I'm like that, that's why I just throw out that. I feel that. I take that guilt for very very long. It's not easy you know suddenly that comes to you you're sitting and suddenly you have a great time and suddenly you think of that thought and you're like why? I'm not philosophical like that, that this is life, it keeps going. I'm not philosophical like that. I'm like, I'm not philosophical. I'm not like, I messed up and then I can't.

Thank you so much.

Thanks, dude. Thanks. Doing this and really opening up. I'm telling you, I don't have anything to hide. I am what I am.

I love talking to you. Thank you so much for doing this. It was an honor to have you on our podcast. And generally it felt like more conversation than me.

Like any other interviewer. We are sitting at a coffee shop and there is a camera there but we don't know. But thank you so much.

No, no. Thanks so much.

Thank you.

Take care.

Pleasure having you.

Hi dude, how are you?

How are you? Good to see you, sir.

Real change happened, at least in my eyes, and I'm going to talk about purely audience's point of view as a fan. After the ashram, like things just changed. Me with all my friends. We started looking at ourselves in a different lens. And it was like, this is you. I don't think, I don't know that anyone can play this character.

Like that was... And it's more surprising and amazing because you're never seen in this light. I don't see you as a negative person. Now I do. Thank you so much for watching this episode till the end. Now you have to do 3 things. 1. Subscribe to this channel so that we can bring more valuable guests for you.

And we can ask them the questions that you want. 2. Tell me in the comments which other guests you want to Number two, tell me in the comments that what other guests do you want to see on our podcast so that we can bring them and ask them the questions

that you want. And number three, do share this episode with at least one person whose life will be positively changed

because one conversation is enough to change someone's life. I'll see you next time. I'll see you next time. Until then, keep figuring out.