Good morning my loving Tiffany Thinks family. I feel like I haven't picked up the camera. I've just really been in the moment and I've really been kind of spending time with my loved ones, my family, my friends. I think that's really important as well to kind of be in the moment and we've had loads of kind of family events and it's just been really really nice and I think for me I always said it's so important to make memories and I do need to document these memories because it's nice to kind of look back on. I have been taking photos I just haven't been vlogging or taking any
videos. I am here at the hospital I'm here for a blood test I have got chemotherapy tomorrow so what usually happens before chemotherapy is they do a blood test this is for me I don't know if this is for everyone but they do the blood test they do height weight check blood pressure heart rate they just kind of check to see if you're ready for the next lot of chemo so that's what I'm here for today. I'm wearing the navy blue we got this t-shirt I always say whenever we go to the hospital we've got
to wear the we got this merch there's always a link down in the description box below. It's kind of a dull morning this morning but I should, it's not kind of cold it just feels very kind of grey, but I don't know whether it's because it's first thing in the morning and it will get sunnier later, who knows. The weather has been very temperamental I want to say. Let's go in, let's go and get this all sorted out. This is going to be the first time they're going to use this port line. This port line. This is going to be the first time they use this port. I still haven't taken this off because I'm going to let
them kind of do it. It's still kind quite bruised here but that's okay I'm not in much pain like before I was I would really struggle but it's been okay it's been fine hopefully it's all settled and they can get some blood out of the port let's go in let's get this all done I've got my water bottle here let's drink some water I have a blood test. I will do. Thank you. The cafe is right here. I thought something was on my eyelid. I wonder what coffee machine
they have. I am just here waiting. I'm here for fasting so it's quiet, nice and quiet this morning, lovely. I think it is's gonna get busier and busier. It's around quarter to nine. My appointment is at nine o'clock, so I am early, but I always rather be early than late. And you know when you're late,
you're constantly like stressed, and you're like, ah, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. So I like to be early and just chill. get the blood pressure checked and heart rate, height and weight and then after that it'll be blood test and then it's either a phone call or a face to face with the doctors so I need to find out after the blood test. I asked her is it a phone call or a face to face so I'll ask her once the blood test is done. She said she'll ask the team and let me know. I'm kind of hoping it's a phone call because it just means that I can go home and not have to stay here. I'd rather kind of go home and just
relax because I have chemo tomorrow and so we'll kind of see what they think. I'm hoping I get to go home after all this and just wait on a phone call. Either way it's okay, like either way it's fine. I'm here anyways, right? I always feel like, you know whenever I come here, I don't know if you've ever been to this hospital,
but it's such a lovely building. I always feel like it's just, I think this part of the hospital is all brand new and they've done it really well with the colors and it's just, yeah, it doesn't feel like a hospital if you know what I mean the colours and the lighting and I'll show you a little bit because I don't
want to get anyone in it so I'll show you a little bit of it if I can. I don't know what that was I tried to kind of get a shot and not get people in it but... I haven't had breakfast yet. I'm gonna have some eggs when I get back home. You know for me, the day before chemo, I just want, I just like to take it really really easy. Just have me time and just sit on the sofa,
watch movies and just you know just relax completely the day before chemo because when I have chemo it's a lot on the body and I feel like it's a lot it's a lot I feel so I don't want to think about it because chemo is heavy on the body and I always kind of feel sick, nauseous and I'm always feeling,
I don't feel like myself during the chemo period. So, that's why I kind of make sure the day before chemo, I take it really, really easy. I'm just waiting to be seen by the doctors. They said that they need to wait for the blood test results anyway, so they told me to wait. I don't think they have the scan results. I don't think
so anyway so we'll just see. I hope, I don't think so. I don't think they would get it that quickly. I don't know. Oh, didn't think about the scan. Kind of been blocking it out. Just waiting on the doctor now. I'm in the room here. Oh, I don't know. I don't know if it's going to be the scan results. I'm not sure. I don't know, maybe. I've had time to process. Basically, they did get the scan results and I didn't expect it to be so soon because I just had the scan.
But I guess they needed the scan results in order to figure out what's going on with the tumor markers and what's going on with the cancer and whether it's gone anywhere else so that's why they bought the scan earlier and so basically it has grown in my this area by two millimeters but it's not anywhere else in the body so that's good news it's just grown here. So they're referring me to have a talk with the radiotherapy team.
But they're going to continue my chemo until... And they're going to increase the dosage. And they're going to continue the chemo until the radiotherapy team see me and come up with a plan. The positive in all of this is that it's in one area. It's growing, but it's still in one area and it's not anywhere else.
So that's good news. You know when I'm with the doctors I try not to get emotional and I want to kind of take in all the information. But I don't know I think it was I didn't I don't know I just feel like I can't believe it's growing you know that's what's crazy to me but we need to so they did systemic
control with the chemo and now they need to do kind of targeted and that's what radiotherapy is going to be. It's going to be targeted at this area, hopefully stop it from growing so much. For it to grow 2mm I guess it's not that much right? I don't know. I'm trying to... Trying to just...
I don't think chemo is enough, so we need the radiotherapy to kind of go ahead. So we'll just see. In a few weeks we'll get an appointment with the radiotherapy team and then we'll go from there, isn't it? We did think about going to Ireland to see the family. I'm going to try and kind of fit that in because I want to before everything, because radiotherapy is going to be a lot and then so I'm going to try and still make things work
I really, um... I really want to do that I feel like, you know what, it could have been worse the news could have been worse um, so and do you know what, I'm under the best care
I keep saying this, I am under the best hospital, I'm under the best care. I keep saying this, I am under the best hospital and I'm under the best care. The fact that they're kind of getting things done so quickly, with the scan as well, I got that done a lot quicker, because it's usually after chemo six that they do a scan,
but they did it after chemo four. And the fact that they did the scan and they kind of told me what the steps are and it's kind of everything's happening very quickly so I'm so so grateful for the care I'm getting and I I just I just can't believe all of this I still can't get my head around it all. I still can't. Do you know if you are going through anything in regards to your health, if you feel like there's a lump or something doesn't feel right with your
body, please please please get it checked because when it's stage four and things have spread, it's different. It's kind of, you know, if it's, I'm not saying if it's stage four and things have spread, it's different, it's kind of, you know, if it's, I'm not saying if it's stage one it's easier, or no, it's just if things are picked up a lot earlier, then, you know, it will get removed and... So please, please, please, if you're thinking about,
if you're watching this video and you're thinking, oh, something doesn't feel right, only you know your body. If you can get anything from my video, please get it checked. Because don't sit on it, don't come up with excuses for it, like, oh I've been stressed, or I haven't slept the best, or I didn't eat healthy and that's why this lump has happened,
or I carried this heavy bag and that's why I've got this so if anything feels unusual don't give it's like it's there's no harm to getting it checked by a doctor and then the doctor saying it's absolutely fine the worst thing is letting it get worse so please please please um yeah everything's gonna be okay everything's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. I've trusted the process. I trust God. I trust... I just... I don't know. I really don't know.
I have accepted that this cancer is not... this treatment isn't going to cure what's going on, but what we can pray for is for it to stay stable, and pray that it doesn't grow, and pray that it doesn't go anywhere else, and that's the only thing I can do. I just need to have me time before chemo now, because I have chemo tomorrow.
I can't allow, I can't think about this at this moment. I have to just, you know, I need to be in good form for tomorrow. Isn't it? You know when you're in the hospital, and even just being online and talking to so many people, it's like how do we do this? How do we cope with all of this? Like it's constant and you know when I'm just sitting in the waiting area and I see so many people going through a lot. There's so many of us affected by cancer
and we've got to stay strong and we can't give up hope even when you just want to give up. You can't. Okay, I'm going to...
There's someone there.
I think he knows I'm talking to a camera. Okay I'm gonna go home now. I've had a bit of time to process it and I can only focus on the good and that's basically the fact that it's still in one area. Yes it's grown slightly by two millimeters but that's okay you know it's okay it's going to be fine maybe radiotherapy will kind of keep it as it is or even if it shrinks it a little bit that will be fantastic so yeah it's
gonna be fine it's gonna be okay I need to gonna be okay. I need to... I can't allow...
my mind to take over. I still need to be myself and I still need to... just carry on, you know, just carry on and... everything's gonna be okay. Everything is going to be okay, you know?
I'm gonna go home. My darling did half day of work so we're gonna spend some time together which is really really nice. He, we didn't know that I was gonna get the scan results. I didn't expect it so soon but it's good that he's at home and we'll just kind of have sandwiches and have a cup of tea and I did update him, I did give him a call and we're gonna be and have a cup of tea and I did update him, I did give him a call and we're gonna be okay I feel like we have to be okay
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