Comedy Store Snitch | Ep 330 | Bad Friends

Hey, what's up, bad friends?I am doing one more show here in the year before 2026 is done, and I don't go out until next year.I'm in St. Charles, which is St. Louis, Missouri, August 7th at the Ameristar Casino.St. Charles slash St. Louis.Come out and see me in Missouri, August 7th.Go to andrewsantino .

com for those tickets.

andrewsantino .com.Hey, we got new merch!Merch!Merch!

They got new shirts!This is my favorite shirt.This is an artist that worked with us here on Bad Friends.He submitted and we said we got to put that on a shirt.And this is incredible.You go to badfriendsmerch .

com to buy this.Badfriendsmerch .com.Go get it.

It comes in black and red.

Badfriendsmerch .

com.So what's going on?We have E .T.and Clayface in the cover booth right now.Oh, he stands up now.

He stands up now.What's going on with your face?Can you get invisible acne patches, please?You look like an aerial view of Iran.

I mean, there's explosions.It stumbled, but you still got through.Yeah.They're just little stickers like every teenager uses.

Okay.You're40. I'm39. Yeah, you're40. Okay, you're40. Yeah.

That's the same thing.That's interesting.When do you start rounding up in ages or down in ages?What scale of your life do you go?You round up automatically versus when you start rounding down.38.

38, you start rounding up.Yeah, you have.No, I think at 35, I was like, I'm almost

40. Yeah, you're40. You're40. Yeah.

I know, it just feels weird.

I'm 60.

That's yeah, i'm 60 the most that's the most true thing.

He said yeah Yeah, i'm 60 years old.Yeah.Yeah, and i'm 50.

You're 50.You're for sure 50 i'm 50 I look 50.I act 50.

My body feels 50.Yeah.Yeah, and guess what I did yesterday.two things happened.What happened?Well, two things are going on.

Well, first of all, I got I got caught I Got caught doing what I got caught dude.Oh, yeah, what?Yeah getting caught sucks.What did you do?Um, I thought I could get away with it is what I did So I was at the comedy store Friday night and I took my car and I for some reason thought it was in forward, but it was in reverse.And who'd you hit?

And I pressed the, you know what I mean?The gas, right?Right.The pedal.Yeah.The gas pedal.

That's right.

Like any 60 year old would do.

It does sound like an old guy.And I crashed into a car.Whose car?Well, let me finish.Okay.I put it in forward and I just left.

And there was cameras.Well, I didn't know that.So at around midnight, Joe, the comedy store manager goes, You got caught." And I go, what do you mean?And he goes, we have it on video.We got it.

Yeah, yeah.And then Steph Tolove texts me late at night.She goes, I saw it.And she goes, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.It's her car?No.

Whose car?Ricky.Rick Ingram?

Yeah.

Oh my God.I know.So then what I do is, and then here's the thing.The thing is, is that you thought you were going to get out here.But then Joe says something very interesting.He said, so Steph saw, but she didn't rat me out.

They just drove away.They said there was somebody that Joe walked up to and goes, did you see it?And the guy said my name and ratted me out.And I asked Joe for the name and he wouldn't give me the name.And that guy, I'm going to find out.You don't know who it is.

is I don't know we're gonna find out we're gonna find out and then I call Rick and I go I guess I got caught hello hey hey dude you're on bad friends nice I have to I was it who you talking to who do you think Rick or Joe the man's car that you hit okay Rick how much day how much damage is on the car look like almost any.

It's like just a dent because we apparently have security guards who buff out bumpers on the side.

Wait, someone fixed your car at the store?

Dude, I never even got to see the damage.I saw the video of it.

You asked for the video though, no?I like that.I heard you asked for the video.

What's that?

I heard that you asked, let me see the video.

I said, yeah, I said, is there a video of this?And he said, yeah, we can pull that up.And it's it's it's fairly crazy.

Why is it crazy?Why?What happened?

Because it just you hit the car pretty hard.And then you just kind of pull forward and then back up and then just like repark.And then he gets out and then, uh, driver's side or passenger side, passenger side.

Cause I was so close to your car.I couldn't get out after hitting it.He worked very close.Climbed out the pastor side door and then went inside.

What I find amazing is like, there's like eight or nine people who all witnessed this.

Yeah.

Nobody says a word.

Nice.Yeah, except for one person.I'm gonna find that person out There was one person that said it was Bobby Lee, but I saw I know that eight witnesses could shut their mouth and those aren't rats No, seriously, how many people What was Steph told of one of them was Steph totally exactly she's not a rat Yeah, I'm gonna forget a list I'm gonna call Joe Obviously, they're not that scared because they yeah, they they risked it all You do have a little school shooter vibes a little bit yeah, well then I text you what I texted you I texted you How much does it what do you need?I'll Venmo you whatever you need.

I'll take it and you said no No, it's a nice car!

Just get a new car because of Bobby.Let him get you a new car.I would say...

No, no, no, no!

He said it real cool!That's insane!And the fans of this show would agree.I think you should buy him a new car.I think it's the right move.Because what happens when you hit someone's car?

One little nudge.What year is it?

2013 Toyota camera 13 cameras.

Yeah, you can look this up They had a problem with the chassis at the midpoint where the if any slight ding or accident could render the car totaled You could look it up

That's exactly why I didn't want to take it in, because that's the last thing I need.

They'll total it, right.I'll make it up to you, though.So Rick, start looking for a new car for your family.

No, no, no, Rick, Rick, I will make it up to you in a different way.I think you should give him a new vehicle.Okay, well, we'll talk about it with Rick personally, him and I. We're doing it right now.I think what I'm going to give him is going to be better than a vehicle.

A spaceship.

I can't wait for all of the rewards.

Yeah, you're gonna get so many rewards, dude.You'll see.You're gonna get rewarded, you know, more than Chris Rock gave you.More than Chris Rock gave you.All right, buddy.

Thank you, Rick.I'll talk to you later, dude.Later, dude.

Follow Rick Ingram, very funny comic.

I'm going to call Joe.One of, if not one of the funniest working comedians here.Yeah, here we go.Joe, the fucking manager at the Comedy Store.

Hey, dude.

Hey, Joe, it's Bobby.You're on Bad Friends, the kind of famous podcast.What's it called?Bad Friends.

OK.

OK.Have you heard of it?

Yeah.

Yeah.Yeah.So you're on here with Centino.And I want to ask you, what did I do Friday night?

OK.You want me to tell the truth?

Yes.

Okay, so you left the comedy store you started to realize you got your phone.

Yes.

Came got your phone.Yeah.And you you backed into Rick Ingram's car.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.And it was so everyone knew about it.But I think you know, I knew about it.

When I hear a crash, I go Whoa.Well, that's when you speak up.But you don't speak up.That is when you speak.No, you don't speak up.You try to get away with it.

Now, Rick's car might be a dumpster, but it's his car.

Yeah, I understand that.I understand that.Well, you saw that.tape and you and now I've owned up to it yes okay so what I need to know is who the rat is okay They're one of the security guys.

And Rick just said, Hey, I heard my car.

We just talked to Rick on the podcast.He said, there were six people.

Yeah, there's a lot of well, there were probably a lot of people because people came in and say, Yeah, it was Bobby.

And I said, I want to know a list of people that went in and said it was me. I don't know that I could name them all right now.

But do you remember when I when I closed your door?I didn't know that that had happened.I said it.You hit his car said no, I watched him drive away.I didn't know that it already happened.

He had already happened.Yeah.

Can I say that Rick has not responded to my text saying, hey, here's what happened, and Bobby's good about it, and he has not even responded to me.

We just called him.Bobby agreed on the podcast to get him a new car.

No, I did not!I did not do that!I'm gonna give him other things.No, a car.Yeah, anyway, thank you, Joe.And I would like a list of the people that ratted me out.

That's all I want.Okay, you got it.Okay, thank you.Bye -bye.Thanks, Joe.

We love Joe.We love Joe.

You got caught.I got caught.

What are you gonna do?Nothing.Nothing?Yeah.

Nothing.Absolutely nothing.What could you do?Well, all I can do is like, what are the damages?Give me the price and I'll pay it.Right.

He said nah.Because he's home.Case closed.Now reopen it.No, no, no, no, no.Straight arm moves.

Keep it closed.No, open it up.Yeah.So he's open.All right.So that's the first thing.

The second thing is I did a 24 fast yesterday.24 hour.

I mean, you didn't eat for a whole day.

Yeah.

Why are you doing that?Are you trying to get into fasting?So you're on GOP ones and you're fast.

I know I quit the GOP ones.

What's up, man?

How are you, dude?There he is, dude.Yeah, he looks like a fucking future nurse.

I love him.

Yeah, yeah, I love him too.Look at him.Doc, always stands on business.Good style.Simple, basic, clean.Yeah, like great.

What's up, man?

How you feeling, dog?

Yeah, I'm pretty good, dude.

Doc is back.Doc is, uh, Doc is wearing what all Filipino nurses wear on their downtime.

Yeah, that's how I do it, you know.

You know, you do look sharp.The shoes are nice.I like the shoes.Oh, I appreciate it.

I love your Harry Potter glasses.Doc, I just finished a 24 -hour fast.It was hard.Very different.And then what I've been doing now is I bought $1 ,000 worth of sardines from all over the world.

Oh, you're doing the...Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah.Okay.Sardines, broccoli sprouts, bone broth, blueberries.No, am I doing the right thing?

Yeah, yeah No, but they say that this is the way is this is this from the blue zones?

Is that what you're doing?You're doing the diet from the blue zones?No, I've been just my tick -tock algorithm is just saying What's a keto it's close to keto yeah Yeah, so I've been eating yeah Keto is fats and oils, proteins, veggies, dairy, nuts, seeds, and fruits.

Yeah, a lot of walnuts.

So the 24 hours you went without water and?

No, I did water with a little bit of Celtic sea salt.Okay.

Celtic, Celtic.Well, that's the name.

Celtic?The Boston Celtics.Yeah, yeah.Well, we don't call them the Boston Celtics then.

They probably are.Okay, well then.We've just mispronounced it for a while.All right, well, yeah.The Boston Celtics.

All right, but it's Celtic.

No, it's Celtic salt.Celtic salt.

Boston Celtics.Okay.Is that true?

So was you taking a Celtic salt because in your mind you believe it's more healthy?

Yeah.Well, there's also something called Baja gold.Oh, yeah.The salt.Yeah.Put a little bit in there with water.

What about lemon?

Don't you do lemon water?

No, I didn't do any lemon.So, Baja Gold Salt.

You mean Himalayan Sea Salt?Yeah.Himalayan's good too.That's the third grade.Okay.

Okay.So, that's what I did.I'll drink water.

Third world country when it comes to salts.That's the information.Okay.

All right.So, what do you think of this?All right.Just sardines, right?Bone broth, right?Some veggies like broccoli sprouts.

Spinach stuff like that for fiber and then a breakfast burrito the next day This is I do it this morning.I opened up a can of the worst sardines they taste so awful.They're all bad Yeah, and I poured it on a plate and ate every little with the bones and everything water.

Why water or oil?

Olive oil.

Oh, yeah, that's game, right?We're all game on.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.

Yeah.Yeah, so What are you looking to do?I don't know.

Yeah, this is like a...I don't know where the fuck you're going with this, because it went from fasting, but you're still eating healthy regardless.

So I did 24 hours, and the next meal I had was what I just told you.Did you feel good after that?I felt great.I went to sleep, waited two hours, right?This morning I had a can of sardines, the best kind.That's all you've had is sardines and coffee?

Yeah.Your toilet's going to break.What do you mean?Sardines and coffee is going to run through you like a river.

Yeah, and I got some...We're like really fancy Greek yogurt tonight.I'm gonna do a little smoothie with blueberries.

What did this?

Who did you who got you into this?I did you're what I went on tik -tok my algorithms Kept saying, you know, and that was like, oh I'm gonna do this and now I'm obsessed with it and I've looked up every singlesardine in the world, canned salmon, and this is what I'm doing for the next week.

Well, you know why he's doing the yogurt, because he's getting the bacteria.He needs the probiotics.

I need the probiotics.And kimchi and sauerkraut as well, I've ordered.I love sauerkraut.Damn, you own it, by the way.Yeah, I'm on it.And guess what, dude?

I'll tell you another thing that I'm on, dude.

What you got?

I'm a believer, dude.Oh, yeah, we're on.I believe what you believe, because I saw it.

What did you see?

You know what I saw.

I don't know what the fuck you saw.What did you see?

Look at me right now, dude.I'm picking at you.Put your hand in the pupil.Look at my hand, dude.I fucking saw it, dude.

Disclosure day.

Exactly, dude.Oh, you saw that?I fucking saw it, dude.And now I'm a believer, brother.Hold up, fuck.I'm a believer, dude.

Bobby still got the name Holly.It took Steven Spielberg a year ago.He knows, dude.He does, okay.Yeah, he's a religion.Well, he's high into it.

He's high into it, and also, there's themes in all of his movies.He's been trying to tell us for years, dude.Yeah.You know what I mean?

Disclosure day, dude.

What's the day?It's just so uncomfortable.We don't know when.This you know what this means dude.

Yeah, that's the alien artifact.It's a alien you see a movie.Yeah.

Yeah, what is that?He grabs an alien artifact, and he does this dude in disclosure day, dude Yeah, I saw it I'm not interested.What?I'm not interested.It's not a good movie.You shouldn't be.

Really?Did you like it?I heard it wasn't good.

I think the filmmaking is amazing.

Filmmaking is superb.Look at him sucking Spielberg's dick.Music, superb.But when I walked out of it, I went, what?He's a film school buff.That's what he gonna do.

That's what he gonna do.But it's phony because you know it's not a good movie.That's what he gonna do.

It's a boomer movie, you know?

It's a boomer movie.

Oh, I should go.

Dan X boomer.I should go.Yeah, yeah, yeah.We're boomers.Wait, give me Box Office Mojo.160 million, that's real bad.

They thought that was gonna make a shitload.

No, I think it's good.

Click on the Box Office Mojo logo.Take it back to the homepage real fast.I just wanna see, zoom in.I just wanna see now what obsession is at.Click on it.333.

Oh.My.God.And by the time this pod comes out, it'll be 400.That's mind -blowing.

It's mind -blowing.Because Disclosure Day cost $200 million to make.

They're never going to make their money back.$200 million was the budget.Then marketing and everything, they're probably going to be in the hole.

Because you got somebody from the outside in trying to...

No, inside out.Yeah, inside out there.Yeah, yeah, yeah.I think Spielberg knows something.You do?Oh, yeah.

Spielberg knows something.I would give him that.You give him that yeah, I mean you have to think that he's close with the Obamas Yeah, I mean he's been there you think the Obamas are aliens.I don't know he looked at the files.What's fine?You know the extraterrestrial files did no, but I I do it did give me something well I think that he knows something Spielberg does yeah, and I think that like I Maybe there is.

Give me a list of Spielberg films from top to bottom, and then we can see if there's maybe a pattern or a puzzle that he wants us to figure out.Do you know what I mean?Maybe his entire career, he's been layering it into us, and we're just blind.And now you find you don't have to.I can tell you what they are.You don't know all of them.

I know all of the alien ones.Most Encounters of the Third Kind.

So I'm going to talk about that.E .T.E .T.Yes.

Poltergeist.That's not an alien movie.

Now E .T.does look like the fake mummy.that they say is fake from Mexico from Peru.

These are all aliens.All right.And then we got color purple.That's an alien film.Yeah.Well, that's the case.

I must not do Yeah, go go down keep going down AI Schindler's List Minority port is a no, that's not alien.No war the world's for sure.Yeah What do we got then?He would did did a bunch of stuff that In disclosure day.

Well, he also has the encounters Close Encounters of the Third Kind.No, no, no, no, no.He has Encounters on Netflix.It's a documentary on Netflix.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's when he first revealed, that's when it was first revealed, the prayer mantis species.

Yeah, so at any time I can go, and speak an alien language, and you'll be able to understand it, because some people do.

Well, either that or you're talking to somebody in Africa.It could be either one.

Yeah, you might be saying some hard shit.Fuck this guy, Bobby.

No, no, that was in the movie.Yeah, yeah, I know.Yeah, yeah, that was in the movie.I'm just doing the movie.I'm not doing African style.

Right, right, but when I saw that, I did remember that part, and I was like, It's kind of racist, but I'm uh...

You called my name?Bantu.Bantu does it.Zulu and Xocha.

Do you know what tribe you're from or not?

I'm from...

That's a good question.That's a good question, dude.Can we go to Hereditary .

com or what?

7 % Congolese.Yeah, somewhere around there.

You're 70 % 77 %?Yeah.

Condoleez.Yeah.And 18 % white.

Well, I'm 10 % Japanese.You are?Yeah.So I think there were some.Yeah.

Yeah.

What?No CD.Oh my god.I have OCD.

Well, I do too.And have you ever had a thought that just won't leave you alone?You know, like something weird or dark or completely like unfounded.It's out of character.It's out of nowhere.And your brain is just like hitting you in the head with it for some reason.

And you try to feel better and you don't know how to get rid of it.Well, that's because you got OCD.Okay.

Wow.

You know, and OCD, it seems like the stereotypes, they say people being organized, that's completely wrong.Okay, I'm telling you, sometimes you get these persistent thoughts, right, Bob?

Yeah, unwanted, intrusive, distressing thoughts that often get stuck in your mind.They tend to latch onto things you care about most, which can bring up a lot of guilt and shame.

It really does.Then you feel driven to do certain behaviors, try to make those thoughts stop or change, even though that might not be possible.But OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions out there.if you get the right kind of specialized therapy.And OCD needs ERP, or exposure and response prevention, which is proven to be the most effective treatment.

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Cash out!So one time I got scammed.You got scammed.Yeah, I did.A guy showed up at my house.I was living in La Jolla, right?

Oh, I remember.Do you remember this story?Right.And he goes, hey, I'll give you my car got dispossessed.Right.Give me this money.

I'll give it to you back.Right.But back then there was no Internet.But back then I would have used cash app.Yeah.Right.

Because then I would have got scammed.Yeah.And they have security lock.That's the best part, man.Your money safe from fraud deserves to be a high priority.Cash app treats it just like that.

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podcast for full disclosures.

Wait, you're from, you're Congolese?

Yeah.Yeah, from the Congo.

I had a lot of, I did my DNA.Well, some people don't know.

It could be the Congo.3 % Asian, Latino, and Latino.What do you mean, Asian and Latino?From the waist down.No, I mean from...From the shoes, from the shoes.

It goes down from the shoes.From the shoes.Because of the way they were made.Anyway, no, I showed some of, I'm from the tribes, from Louisiana, I know that.

It's just a bunch of shit, man.Hold on.Hold on.Stop.I got to do some talking here.What the fuck do you mean?

There are tribes in Louisiana?Yeah.Like the Indian indigenous tribe.Oh, those tribes.I thought you mean the Condoleez from.Sri Lanka, I got people all over there.

I got people in South America, Puerto Rico.So this whole thing where I was looking up my own 23 and me.

Chiti Macha tribe of Louisiana.Wow.Chuta tribe of Louisiana.Jenna Band, sounds like a porn star, of Choctaw.

And I found out I was part of the lineage of Ramses.

No, Ramses III.Oh, wow.Whoa, that's crazy.

So you're a mixture of people.

Yeah, I'm royalty up in this bitch.All right.No, nothing.

Yes, you're royal.I found out I got a sister through the 23andMe.

Where's she at?Where's she at?She's in Detroit.Have you contacted her?

Yeah, because she was my uncle's daughter.Holy shit.Yeah.

What?So your uncle - Isn't her father.Wow.Wow.Yeah, so she wound up being my father's daughter.And it's your dad's brother?

No, no, no.It was your mom's brother?No, no, no.Your mom had a kid with her brother.Wait, wait, wait, start from the beginning.

No, my father had.No, I'm kidding, I'm fucking kidding.My father had a kid with her mother.

I know, I know.

Yeah, so in other words.

So there's some cheating going on.

Yeah, there's some.So wait a minute.Waking up brotherly love.

How old is this sister?She's two years younger than me.Oh, wow.

Have you ever met her?It was right when my mother and father had separated in a little spat at the head.

Yeah, have you met her?

No, she's, I just told you, she was, at first she was my cousin, now she's my sister.

So yes, he's mad.Imagine that.

So all this time, I thought she was my cousin.Do you feel closer now to her?I've always been real close to her.I think my father knew, because before he died, he was like, make sure you take care of her.

Is your dad Darth Vader?

Might as well be.

It's Anakin Skywalker, your father?

23andMe is crazy, because then I found out that through ancestry, I found out that my grandfather isn't my mother's father.

Wait, let him finish, say it again.My grandfather isn't my mother's father.

Whom is he?I don't know.We still trying to, I just said fuck it.I cut all of it off.I just quit 23andMe and Ancestry.I don't even want to fucking deal with this.

This is insane right now.

I don't think I want to do it.

Yeah, yeah.Yeah, don't.I've done it.You find out some shit, you're like, fuck.

You find out no one in your family is your family?

Yes.But would that even matter?I don't think so, but I do.feel like part of me is like, man, you know, I should have, because they were reaching out to me.The other side, they were like, who the fuck are you?It was this whole batter back and forth like this.

And I feel like now that I cut off the, but I cut the websites off because they had these leaks.with the data and the information, and this breach, yeah, with 23andMe and stuff, but I'm like, at this point, I'm like, shit.

They're out there.They went to Congress, they proved that they leaked that shit, and nothing happened.

Yeah.

Nobody cares.No one gives a shit.

They know my shit.You're out, you're gone.I'm out there.

Yeah, but we all are.This is gone.I love how Apple does commercials for security, and you're like, but you already sold us up the river.Yeah.What's the difference?

That's why Disclosure Day doesn't work, because it's all based on something that, if you were to know, if you would put a news thing that said, this is real, the whole world would be cool.What are you talking about?Nobody cares.Like the whole premise of the movie is that if you get it out.Yeah.And this is on the news, on an old TV like.

Station news.Yeah, everybody would like look at it say.Oh, yeah, that's true, right?

And then everybody will be cool right the internet now is giving you ten different opinions Yeah, and you're allowed to start eating sardines and blueberries Are you saying are you saying that if they knew like CNN all the legacy media outlets, right?

Yeah, we're saying the same thing like this is real footage of aliens that we've Tortured people wouldn't care some people will care and others will say okay, who doesn't care?

What kind of people wouldn't care dude you're come on you're the media now is for you the media now is so Twisted peep there's things that happen in front of us, and we still don't believe it's real well You know what I think it doesn't even met people thought the Charlie Kirk thing was fake But I'm saying it's because there's so much noise nobody knows.What's real all right?

You don't even want to get me into thatbut because you know Carlos and I so this is my point I mean my point is is that just don't even get me started okay I won't but what I'm saying is is I that is true it's just there's too much that is true that's a truism what you said but what I'm saying is is that that's a significant thing right if because that would mean that they're coming down so you're saying to me right now if there was an alien They came down and had his arm around Trump.What's that?They did that at UFC 250.Josh Holcomb.Yeah.

Josh Holcomb did that, right?And he said that Michelle Obama was a man.

Right.

Easy.What did he say?She had a penis?Is that what he said?No, man.Yeah, yeah, yeah.

See, this was AI.Dude, look at my phone, dude.You're going to look at my phone right now.That's his screensaver.It's not my screensaver, but literally look at my phone right now, dude.

Go back real fast.Just go back real fast.23andMe data leak compromised a personal and genetic information of roughly 7 million people.And I was one of them.Yeah, what?That's on my phone.

I know you have the photo.We just found it on the internet.What the fuck does that do?

Because I'm into dogs frequency.We're frequencing each other.You know what?

Stop eating anchovies.Sardines.Okay, either way.Sardines.

What is going on?No.No, but I think that - Look at me right now.No, nothing.I'm doing disclosure day, dude.

Summon.I'm telling you this, the legacy media, people don't ingest it the way they used to.So even if they all said it, everyone at home would go, fuck them.They're in it together.

Well, even if they introduced them, I think This whole world, after so long, would just be like Guardians of the Galaxy and Bright.You ever seen Bright on Netflix with Will Smith?After a while, people would just be like,man, fuck these motherfuckers.Why is they?Oh, right, when they work together.

Yeah, it's like they would just be this whole.Wasn't this movie atrocious?Yeah.It got just lit up.

You saw that movie.

Yeah, I watched it.Was this pre -slap or post -slap?It was pre -slap.He could get away with this.Isn't that funny?He could make such a terrible movie and it's forgotten because he was so beloved.

If he does that now, we're talking about it.

That's Will Smith's Pluto Nash right there.

Yeah, this is, no, this is..

.So what you're saying is that if there's alien colonies that land on planet Earth and they start like...

I think nobody cares.

No one would care.

The premise is that they've been here for years and years.They have.

Right, so if I look at it, I look at it kind of like, You ever read The Prince by Nicola Machiavelli?

No, I haven't read it.I have his album, though, Purple Rain, Purple Rain.And it's very good.

But in chapter three of The Prince, right, he talks about how, like, when somebody comes in and takes over a region, what they want to do is, the best thing for them to do is to allow the people to keep their religions, to keep their laws and everything, and to go amongst them and live with them.So that's what I would think, what is happening to us.We're being slowly moved into an area where they've already been here.They're already like, and then they're just gonna come out and they're gonna be like, hey, wanna introduce you, come on out, fuckin' prayer man is, that's what I'm talkin' about.You know what, Bigfoot, come on the fuck outta here.Oh, Bigfoot's part of it.

Yeah.Is the Loch Ness Monster due?Yeah, he's a UFO, he's an intelligent species, he ain't.The Loch Ness Monster?Yeah, hey.Wow, dude.

If you was to go, well, not the Loch Ness Monster, see how Bobby is, he always gotta go.

I don't think that's in Machiavelli's book.I don't think Bigfoot is in it.

Yeah, I don't know but the whole point of that in chapter three is that like they live amongst us sure the crack and what?that.Okay.So that brings in hybrids.Hybrids make sense.

Bobby.Pretty much.I'm a hybrid, bro.Yeah, you just said it.

You was Korean in part, uh, Vietnamese.What the fuck?

Japanese.Japanese.10 % Japanese.Yeah, yeah.Don't let us get started.This is going to be Conspiracy Pod now.

I know, yeah.This is a conspiracy theory.

Well, I mean, the information we've presented so far is not most, it's not conspiracy.It's just the information that they're giving us.

Yeah, but that is, we, it has been conspired.That information is because of conspiracy.That's why it's the alternative to what's going on.

It depends on what you're reading, right?

Well, I know, but then, yes, everything is a conspiracy.That's the point.OK, look, here's what...

Apropos to nothing.

Hey, are you...

OK, apropos to what?

Apropos to nothing.

What does that even mean?

He's saying he's transitioning into something else.

OK, let's go back to apropos to nothing.

I never asked you this.Is your name Robert Lee?Are you named after the general or is your name just Bobby Lee?

His name is...No, don't answer that.He fuck you, man.Yeah, yeah.He fuck you, man. I thought we was on the same frequency.

We had alien frequency, but I don't know, man.You're on fish frequency right now, dude.You're the one from the tribe down south.Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know Robert and Bobby.Yeah, it's Robert.

It's Robert Young Lee is my name Okay, I'm not gonna give you my social security though.

Okay, put it up on the screen right here four six four twenty six.

Yeah Yeah, why'd you ask because Bobby is sharp for short for Robert, right?Yeah, so is your is it?

Do black yes, it is do black people do that where we have like 10 names for one name.Do you ever do that?

Yeah, I call you Tino.

No, but I'm saying I'm saying no.No, that's no.No that I love.Okay.That's the type of shit.I fucking love.

No, I'm saying white people will be like William is also Bill like Richard is dick.Sometimes William.is Dick.These are all...Black people don't do that, right?Yeah.

Like, Bob is Robert is also...Richard is Rick.Rick, Richard, Dick, William, Bob, Bill.They're all kind of...For some reason, they all get meshed.Black people don't do that.

That's why your names are so complex.You were Doc.

Yeah.On your birth certificate, it just says DOC.

No.That's not his birth name.

No, that's not my birth name.

What's your birth name?

William.You knew that.How do you know that?I didn't know that!I got the same name as Bill Burr.

Yeah.

Some people call me Bill, some people call me Will.I can call you Bill.Call me what the fuck you want to call me.You know, it's people who call me that.Like if I go to certain white people, Tito, and then they be like, hey Bill, come through.I'm like, all right.

You call him Bill.I have.I have never called you Bill ever.

Well, why would you?Yeah, but you don't know.You didn't even fucking know that was his name.So you just would call him a name you don't even know?Doc!

That's the name that you're for, you're, yes, that's how you know.I was conditioned with Doc.Right.Right.It's a conditioning system.

You know what my Latino family call me?

What?My Uncle Pete.What is he called?

My T .O .P.He calls me Willie Boy.Willie Boy, what you doing?

Hey, Willie Boy.If I called you Willie Boy.No, no, no, no, no, no.That's not going to work the same.I don't think you can call a black dude Willie Boy.In public?

If I get his permission, I could.I don't think it's going to go over well publicly.He's Korean.Yeah, you in a group outside and we go, hey, Willie boy, get over here.

I don't know if that's going to work.If it was your mom, everybody would be like, what the fuck?

This man.

This goddamn Karen out here.So I'll do apropos to nothings too.Apropos to nothing.

What's your shoe size?8.We know that.Great.Judd apropos to nothing We know No, but I but that's what's interesting about like the the your your name is what white guys do with white names Yeah, you know, I mean, that's what white guys do with white namesBut I see that more often not.

Black dudes don't have five variations of the same name.

No, we get nicknames.You get nicknames based on whatever your physical disability.Correct.You know what I mean?What do you mean?

If I was growing up in your neighborhood, right, and I had three toes missing, what would be my - No, no, no, no, no.Just you.They'd be like, Tiptoe, come on up in here.Okay.I just had two knobs, and I'm walking up, what's up, Willie?Willie boy, what's up?

What would you call me?I don't know, if you had two nubs, two questions.Oh, no arms?Yeah, no arms.Oh, shit.There's a comedian on social media called Trey Nubs, and that's what he is. I don't know what to say.

Yeah, let's look up Trey Nubs.

I don't know what to say to Trey Nubs.Let's look up Trey Nubs, dude.Shout out to Trey Nubs.Yeah.What's up, Trey Nubs?Damn.

Damn.

You know what I mean?Yeah.

Yeah.Yeah.

I didn't know that.You got some funny.Yeah.

Okay.So that is so funny.So funny.Rock, paper, scissors.Yeah.

Yeah.

He wins.

Well, I follow him on the gram.That's my dog.I like to laugh.

That's fun.That's incredible.Wow.So now because we're so progressive, are the bathrooms now signs gonna say, please wash your nubs before you go back to work?Well, look at that.Go back to that one.

Go back to the first clip of that.He doesn't even need the barbell.

His arms are the belt.He out there.Getting them shoulders strong right there.That's what I'm talking about.

How did he lose, he was born with no nubs?I mean, with the nubs?No, I didn't even dive into it.Okay.

I gotta follow a lot of people with their handicaps.

I just be like...Give us some others, please.Why though?Shout out to Trey Nubz, by the way, we love him.

Because they inspire me and shit.Yeah, and it keeps me in check.As soon as I start complaining and I'm going through my feelings, I'm like, God, man, you mother...Okay, let me get my shit together.

It makes you appreciative for your blessing.

Yeah, it's like my boy Luis, you know Luis, remember Luis?the comedian, Puerto Rican comedian in a wheelchair?Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.I always put him on my Instagram.Yeah.He's like my little brother.

But I like to be around him because he checks me.Anything I try to say, if I go to complain, he just be looking at me like.

You little bitch.Why?

That shit feels good.

Because he's saying, look at how good you have it.

Yeah.If he's just like, man, I can't blank, blank, blank.Luis is like, yeah, I can't get in the most building.

I can't say shit.Yeah.You remember Fancy or Carlos, my cousin I bought?He has M .

D.

No, M .D.

He's a doctor?

No, no.He wish he could cure himself.

I don't have any friends that have that.Does that make me a bad person?

Yes.You don't have any handicapped friends?Yes, you do.Who?Come back to you.Yourself.

No, that was my bad.

He is his closest friend, to be fair.You don't have anybody you know?Can we go back to the joke?

What the fuck do you mean, dude?

You think I'm handicapped?Well, he's saying you're high -functioning.

Oh, I see.

You're not handicapped.Are you, uh...

Are you what?

Are you spectrum a little bit?

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Are you on the edge?Yeah, I'm not on the edge.I went to a doctor.Oh, you did?My therapist says you're not.My psychiatrist says you're not.

I took the tests.So proud of you.Yeah, yeah, yeah.So I don't.But people think that I am spectrum.

But you lied on the test when we took it.You lied.We had it on camera.We took an autism test.He lied the whole time.No, I didn't.

That was a gay test.Oh, the gay test you lied.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.That wasn't the autism test.Do you have autism?I think that I mean I think you have things that I'm not a psychiatrist, but I think you have them Autism no something else you remember what do I have I don't want to say it you say it.

I think you're bipolar Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you're bipolar Remember Robert De Niro.I know Robert De Niro anger management a little bit.

There's no way I'm not bipolar There's 100 % you think you are a hunch.Oh my god.

Do you find yourself in the bottom of the?Like at the rock bottom?

When I can tell that he's down, I step away, because it's sad.

Well, I have clinical depression.I've spoken very openly about that.I mean, I've been diagnosed with depression, but I mean, that's when I'm very low.But extreme emotional highs, mania or hypomania, lows, depression, yeah.I absolutely have mania swings.I used to be like that.

Oh, dude, yeah.I have it bad, but I'm definitely not going to take anything for it.Let's ride the lightning, dude.I'll see you when it's over.That's what happened to me. I just don't want to take pills to like level me to a place where...Let Willie Boy just speak, go ahead.

It hurts to hear it.I heard a little bit.Why?Willie, Billy, Willie, William.Do you know like the history of...It was a joke, William.

No, no, Willie Boy's cool.Yeah, yeah, yeah, Willie Boy's cool.I'm trying to...We're all good.I was about to do a...

calling a black person boys offensive it is trips in their dignity and only man rude black hole son yeah black hole son your t -shirt well I know what so what are you gonna say what were you saying oh I was gonna say You were clinically depressed, went through clinical depression.

I did too.My mom sent me to a psychiatrist.When?It was right, maybe the first year I moved out here or the second year.

Wait, why won't you take medication?

Because at that time, I just didn't trust this person who I just didn't know.The one thing about meeting somebody and they saying they're qualified, when you go to them as an individual who's suffering, you're like, You don't know me.So there's a defense mechanism that happens.So in order for you to be open to that, you have to be willing to say either they have to put you in a jacket and make you take it, or you have to be comfortable with who you're dealing with.And so for me, I was like talking to this person and I'm like, I didn't deal with the streets and did shit on the streets that I can't even talk to you about.You telling me medicine?

Fuck you.It was just like one of those things where I was like, nah, I'll figure it out.And plus, You know, it bothers, that's a big issue with people.

Well, with Lexapro, right, I can get erect, but I can't climax.But it took two years with my psychiatrist knowing me, talking to him every week, and he's like, I think we should try it.Lexapro.It was too many days of just being, you know, I don't know what joy, I didn't know what joy was because of the ruminating thoughts.Constant ruminating thoughts about the past or, you know what I mean?And constantly, and it was just, I've always been in low level depression my whole life.

And then what happened was I took it, yeah, I can't come.Makes me a little more sad.I can't come, right?But I don't have those ruminating thoughts anymore.That's good.So I'd say either come or be depressed.

I would rather be - Depressed?

Interesting.

No, I mean, what are the options?

I mean, if I'm - I mean - You can get a raft.Keep it real.Yeah, keep it real.I'd rather be, damn.because I was depressed and still jacking off.So that's what I'm trying to say.

Like I was still watching porn, so.

Yeah, yeah.Well, that didn't help.That didn't help.Probably push you deeper into the depression.

Well, yeah, probably did.But I think for me, I had others.I was surrounded by more positive people such as my mom and I wasn't afraid to.So a lot of times.

I give you two options and you're just really just either come or go.Or be happier?

Be happier.

Okay, good.

I think some people it works, some people it doesn't work.I didn't like taking it.I tried it and I did not enjoy the way I felt.I felt super, because I had depersonalization syndrome.You know what that is?It's terrible.

For people that have lived through that, you want to talk about insane.It really felt like I was Looking at my well if you've ever done psychedelics Occasionally you feel kind of like you're like looking at the machine You're like staring at like what is this thing carrying me through time and space, but it's not fun or interesting It's sad and weird it makes you feel like you're detached from your surroundings you physically feel like I would get sick If I went somewhere like I would go to class sometimes and I would get to the class I'd fight through all these feelings I'd get there and then I'd get right back on my skateboard and go right back home because I just couldn't do it I felt like it was like I wasn't me and I was in a body and I feel like you're

floating.

Yeah, you feel like you're floating.It's awful.It's a bad, but that, I will say people that have lived through that, it's not fucking fun.It feels weird.And then when I cracked, when I leveled out or whatever, I don't know what they call it in medical.I remember when it happened because I was leaving my buddy's condo that I was staying in And on the floor of the of the front door, there was a mosaic tile It was like a sunrise art piece that someone had made and I've never noticed it in in the two years I lived there I never knew there was a fucking type of a picture on the floor and I was leaving and I saw it when I opened the door and Something was changing in me.

Like I felt like myself.

In the moment.Myself again.You got in the, you observed something.It was wild.Yeah.

Well, that's what basically my mother told me too.She said.Why are you laughing?

You bring up your mom a lot.She's, he loves her to death.I know, I love my mom too.Go ahead.I'm not laughing at you.At the hip with her.

That's actually, but we'll talk about that another time.

But anyway, my mom's told me, she said, Because I had that moment of clarity like you had after so long.And then when it started happening and she saw it, she said, had you just stuck with the therapist, you would have been there.You would have got there faster.

Yeah, would have got there faster.But who cares?I think it's all part of the thing.

Yeah, yeah.And that's the beauty of understanding yourself and knowing where you are.But in that moment, That's the hardest thing I don't really know.Because even when we talk about Lexapro, we see what happened.Because Brody Stevens talked about Lexapro.So that's the other side.

So it's just, you never know how it's going to affect you, but you just do your best.

You don't know how it's going to affect you.Yeah.People change medication.

What was your build up to that moment?Do you remember?what was the...

Why did all that happen?Well, what was the...I had a bunch of...

Not the bad part, the part where you pulled out because that's what the fans will really want to hear that moment.

Oh, when I crack?How do you know what our fans want to hear?I don't know, it sounds like he does.

Well, they hit me up all the time.Or when I'm watching the stuff that they say, they're like, yeah, yeah, I love this type of, they like stuff like that.

What pulled me out was, I mean, I hate to say this, it's kind of like time, time helped me a lot.And I slowly started to, what's the best way to compare this to is like, This is a very weak comparison, but I can't find that I can't articulate.Have you ever gone skiing?No.You never ski?Ever.

Good laugh, Bobby.I like the way Bobby laughed.

It was the most preposterous way to look at somebody.Like, fuck, doc, you've been, come on.It's possible.Do black people ski?

They do.They do.I've seen them.Some of them, yeah.They look like penguins.So funny.

I'm gonna be honest with you.I don't personally, I don't know nobody black that said, let's get these skis.Let's go and hit these slopes right quick.

So you're gonna relate to this.Two percent of black American ski.Yeah, exactly.All right.So, you know, that's why I left.You know what it feels like?

It feels like not racing.It feels like once you once you get over once you've tried something over and over and over.Okay, here, you know, in a video game, you know, in a video game when you can't beat the boss and you keep doing and you try different ways to beat the boss.And when you're a kid and you're trying to figure it out and then, you know, when you figure it out, And it kind of everything lines up.And it is if you're like, I could have easily beat the ball.How did I not?

Well, how did I not know how to Elden Ring?Exactly.

It's the same thing when they say the moment when - That's what it feels like.Elden Ring is the hardest game ever made.And once you beat it - And it takes a month just to kill one boss.What are you doing?

What's the name of that again?Elden Ring.What the fuck is that?

It's a video game.

Elden Ring?

Yeah, yeah.And it's the guy that did Game of Thrones.What's his name?Peter Jackson?Not a Peter Jackson.

So this game was once popular amongst...

It's still popular.

What about you guys?You guys heard of it?Yeah, it's famous.

Oh yeah, a movie's coming now.Yeah, yeah, there's a movie coming.

George R. R. Martin.How long ago did this come out?

It's, I don't know, three or four years ago, but it's an open world game.Every time you meet a fucking boss, it takes weeks.You die over and over and over and over again.But there's something about the game is when you fucking actually beat one.The fire giant is the worst.That took me two weeks.

Look up the fire giant.

This comparison was good.That is what it feels like.That's exactly what it feels like.

That's why I brought it up.You feel free.This thing right here, dude.This guy right here, dude.That's Blanca from Street Fighter.No, it's not Blanca.

No, it's not Blanca.

No, it's not.

Look at the size of that guy.Look at the size and look at how little your character is.And he has a mouth on his body.Dude, he touches you, you die.Yeah.Well, he has fire in his hand.

Yeah, yeah.Any of that touches you, you die.

You know, I think you get the same, like, feeling and excitement when you beat Bowser.Yeah, that's where my wife.

Yeah, I guess Bowser.Yeah, that's a good reference to know that is true.That is exactly where my mind went.

Motherfucker.When he was throwing a fireballs that look at Bowser.

Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.I think my fire gen is a little scarier, but here's another thing I discovered is that your body just instinctually tells you to stop.So like when I quit smoking, it's my body.just says, it's stop.

You know what I mean?This new thing, this new sardine kick.I know you're laughing at me.You keep bringing up these sardines.This whole health thing and the fasting and stuff.You influenced me on the fasting.

Okay.Because when I got my colonoscopy, I had to fast the day before, right?And I showed up and I felt better that night.Yeah, you know I mean because and when I eat processed foods like hamburgers or whatever I might be it makes me feel like shit Yeah, and so I think I'm in a new era because my body is telling me to do this shit Yeah, the first I'm being real.I know you're I Think you're mocking me. I think they're mocking me and I think it's a phase how I just said, yeah You can wait.

Well, first of all, if you can do it, I'm not mocking you, but it is a phase These two things can be true.Okay.You will 100 % knock stick to it, but I'm not mocking you.I'm supportive.Do you remember in Australia when you were like, wait, you see how fucking jacked I get?And then you wanted to bet me you were going to get jacked and you were like, I'm going to be in the gym.

And I remember that.

Yeah.I went to planet fitness and they wouldn't accept my fucking membership.

And then you start doing a thousand pull ups and a thousand.

How many days did that last?Yeah.What would train up say I'm gonna get a bracelet that says I believe in you and I want you to be healthy.I've I've encouraged you to be healthy our entire friendship I'm just saying you do great.You have big phases.Have you fasted?

No, no, no.

Oh, God.

No, that's Lord.

I'll have mercy.

You have to.

I don't want to.Yeah.You can discipline yourself, though, and get into the 48 and then in the 72 and you get one.you get that - Enlightenment.It's like a lightheaded feeling, people say, but for me, it's like you float.It's the one most beautiful feeling.

Here's the problem.It's like a bottle of pinot.So yesterday I wanted to do a 48, but I knew I had to pod today, so I don't know if I was doing a 48 that I could have podded.

Well, if you did 24, you still is like really close into that.

Well, it's halfway.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, literally.But 24 is hard.It's fucking hard, dude.Yeah.The first eight hours, it's fine, but then it's like, you know what I mean?I had a fucking Mendocino Farms Untouched chicken parmesan sandwich in the fridge sounds so good right and it was like talking And I did not do it good for you.

Yeah, I did not do it, but at midnight That was the 24 -hour mark.I ate the sardines good.

Yeah anyway I'm still fasting.I'm still doing it.Oh, what day are you on?I haven't done it today, but I did it this week.So it's like...How many days did you do it?

I'm addicted to the high, the feeling of it.It's just this feeling.I'm telling you, Tim.

How many days are you doing it?Two days?

I do two days, yeah.

And just water, lemon, salt?Water and lemon water, that's it.That's it?Wow.No salt?No salt.

Wow.Yeah, I don't want to do it.

It's a small amount of electrolytes, but it's just...I just like it for just the citrus.

Well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I've never done a two day.I need two days off.And when I have that two days off, do 16, eight.What's a 16, eight.

That's eight hours eating and 16, eight.two days.Do them two back -to -back and see how you feel.What you're doing, you're trying to jump straight into 24, 48, which is actually fucking pretty good for you to do the 24.Yeah, yeah.Round of applause for Bobby Lee.

It's so hard.You're not going to clap?Try it.You do it.You do it.You do it.

You see I'll do it.I'll clap if you do it.I'll do in fact.I'll do it.I'll get to 48 before you will oh Okay, we got to be together if it's a competition.We got to be doing no.

I'm down We have to do it together, and I'm gonna have you know what's good.That's good We'll do it together in a house, and how about this yeah, and then food is getting delivered the entire time I'll do a challenge.Yeah, us three should do it at the same time people just people coming to go and eating at the house No, we do an air we get an Airbnb He doesn't need to because he can be there, but I don't try to do it.

He's a lying willie Will he do it and I don't know dude.So that's your new name right now.I don't even know So what I need to do is I need to get an Airbnb Somewhere in like fucking, you know, Joshua tree.I don't want to go out that far.Okay.All right, we'll go to work.

We'll just Victorville We'll stay here.All right, we'll stay here.No, but we have to be get an Airbnb and live together for three two days Why would we order food?No, he's making it an extra challenge.

No, I'm saying people nothing for him.

It's not a problem for you and I it's a prize So we get Arctic well, I get my own water though.

No, no.

Yeah, I want Arctic water tap water tap water No, not tap water.I get Arctic water.I need my tap.I need my Celtic Sea salt You do drink tap.

I drink tap if well you drink it all the time.Do you ever get water?

No, I don't I get a bottle.

Yeah.Yeah you that's tap Bottles tap.I ask them sometimes.A lot of bottles are equivalent to tap, by the way.

That's why I said Arctic.

Yeah, you want fancy.

No, I look at the best water in the market with less of all of them.

What brand you get?Soda, Mountain View?you think that's the best brand right there?Who's that?

I like Mountain Valley.I love this water.I haven't drank any of this.

This is my favorite.You got some...What is that?

Actually, if you look at the rating on it, it's not that high.But anyway...It is pretty good.I will look at the rating.

But anyway...We did.We looked it up.It's pretty good.It's one of the highest.

It's one of the highest?It's good water then.Interesting.But can we do two days of fasting?

Yeah, we could.

I don't think this is going to happen.I think Doc and I will...I think you'll give up.

I'll 100 % beat you.The sheer competitiveness in my body will make me beat you.No, we'll just do 48 and then - Oh no, I'm gonna go as far - I'll die.Just to beat you, I'll die.I'll just die.I gotta see this because I don't believe you.

Dead friends.

I don't believe him.He's boring.What?I don't believe him.I don't believe him either.I don't believe you, Ryan Willey.

What?

You don't think I'll do it?No.No.That's insane.Yeah, I don't think you would do it either.

48?I did 24 on my own.You could.I'm not saying you can't.I can.I will.

Do 24 tomorrow.Okay.

I have to fast tomorrow morning anyway.Oh, you weaning him on.He said he could just do it on the first take.I can.When's your last meal?

When was your last meal today?

Today, earlier.What time?11 .30.11 .30?I haven't eaten since then.

Do you believe him?

You could call my fucking family.I mean, what do you, yeah.Okay.We ate together at 11 .30 and then I haven't had anything in my body since.

Well, if that's the case, I had eggs and spinach at eight in the morning.I haven't ate since then.

Yeah, I had a can of sardines in the morning, but I already fasted yesterday.So it's like, should I do it again?

Well, yeah, we're going to do this the second day.

So I could do it because tomorrow morning I can't have any I have to go get blood drawn and I can't be you can't alright, so don't eat until tomorrow at 1130.

Okay tonight.

Sure.

What time you going to get blood drawn 730?

I don't trust them.I don't trust you.I don't trust anybody in this room.We have to be in the same house for two days.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll get the nicest Airbnb in town.

I don't want this.

Yeah, me either.I'm going to set it up.I can tell you.I can trust myself.Because if I go home tonight, I could just drink water and go to bed.Give me two dates that he's not traveling, OK?

So that I can myself get the nicest Airbnb in Studio City.

And we record it?

Yeah, we'll record it, right?And we're going to do two days of fasting.I'm in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.So the two days of fasting, are we going to go straight no water and food too?No, no, no, no, we got to get water.

You have to have water.Yeah, you have to have water.

I'm fine without water.

I know, but that's foolish.That's foolish.That's dying.That's bad for you.

That's what they say, but people do it.

Okay.Yeah, people do it.

Right.And there's no side effects to it.

We don't need that.Water is good for you.Water, and I want my salt.

Okay.

And it's going to flush you out.It's good.

The water's good for you.

Yeah, it's going to be the two worst days of our lives.Because it's kind of hard after coming up.Yeah, yeah, yeah.It's torture.The bad fast.Yeah, the bad fast.

We're going to do it.

Yeah, we'll do it.And the fans, if you wanna join with us when we do it, join with us and we all gonna have that enlightenment together.Two days.It's gonna be tough.

Yeah, it's gonna be tough.Can you do three?I don't think I can do three.Once we get to two, we might be able to just go to three.Now, here's the other stipulation.Are we sleeping in the same room?

No.We gotta keep an eye on each other.I don't know what you're up to.The way that this guy orders food through his phone, He's got a little secret people.No, we'll be there.

We're gonna be the guardians.

You're a rat.You're not a guardian, you're a rat.Carlos is a rat, dude.Yeah, you should.

I won't be eating either.I'll just be fasting now.

Carlos always fasts.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.For years.I've seen Carlos not eat for a couple days.

Carlos also will, he might have side hustles, and he'll do things for me that you won't even be aware of.That's my point, that's why I don't trust him.He can't be there.

No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.Because he'll get you stuff.

Carlos, you went fasting before?

Yeah, yeah.I've been having smoothies and avocado toast for a year.There's no first.

and playboy.What does he say?

Yeah.A long time without eating.And he does it.

I'll be honest when we're on the road, we'll go to a steakhouse.He'll just get a chicken Caesar salad.

No chicken.

No chicken.But he also won't even finish it.He'll get like he'll take five bites and stop.

But I had a quarter pounder before I came here.

This is another thing I want to talk about fasting outside of that that they have.

I'm talking straight no food.Yeah, no food.Just what exactly the amount of time McDonald's you've been eating is alarming Oh, it's a treat for myself before bad friends.So I don't like but that's like three days a week You have trauma responses to this place.

What do you mean?

Like you you feel like when I walked in the door It was almost like you reacted like it was a trauma response.

Yeah, because you showed up so early.I've never seen that in my life Yeah, we've never seen that that was wild.

Do you get a happy meal?

What are you doing?

So I don't need the fries or drink or the toy, obviously.You need the toy.

Wait, you got a double quarter pounder?

No, I got a quarter pounder.No cheese?No, with cheese.

No fries?

No fries.And then four nuggets on the side.

The nuggets?

Yeah, that's so bad.That's not even nuggets.That's not chicken.

There's no chicken in there.I don't know.I don't care, man. I'm a human in America.

See, that's why, if you want to just do Chick -fil -A, those that's real chicken.

It's about convenience off the freeway.

Oh my God.Oh, you like Chick -fil -A, don't you?Yeah, we love it.

The spices.

The spices, yes.

When I bit into my first Chick -fil -A sandwich.

Tell us this experience.

Man, I was like.

Yeah, detail it.

It just was like a mesmerizing experience.When I bit into that fucking.

Well, let's go to the ordering process.I was like.Hello, next.Order it.The fucking you.

yeah I stay away from there now I know you do

because you tongue it.

And the chicken doesn't like it.

When's the last time you had fast food?

Last time I had fast food, I had In -N -Out.

When?

About two, three days ago.Oh, what the fuck?

You can still do that every once in a while.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you get there?

I just get the same, number one, every time.Double, double.With extra tomatoes and no onions.Chili's on the side.Arriba los chivos, jalapenos, let's go!

Wait a minute, did you get extra tomato?Yeah.That is a wild order.

No onion?Onion is key.

Man.

Wait, but extra tomato, so it just makes it sloshier, sloppier?

It's not sloppier at all.They got fresh.This In -N -Out.

I don't mess with In -N -Out tomatoes.

You don't?

Yeah.

I can't, the single burger, the number two?

Yeah.

I shit on myself every time.But if I get number one, I don't know what it is about the single.I get the number two.Not enough ground beef on there or something.

Oh, okay.I do a three by three.You shit on yourself?

Yeah, it's like it give me diarrhea.I don't know what the fuck.Every time, I'm just holding on the throne.And no fries?Yeah, I get the fries, but they in and out make you mad with the fries sometimes.

You just gotta ask for them extra crispy.

I hate that.

That's what I hate.You gotta just ask for it.

Oh, he doesn't like extra crispy.

Oh, no.See, I feel like they're always undercooked at In -N -Out.That's what everyone really always.I mean, that's like part of their thing, man.

The last couple of times they've been crispy and I've been getting mad as fuck.

Well, give me your order.

Come over to the OK.Yeah, that's OK.The main one that make them crispy.If you want the one right there that I go to off of Van Nuys over there, Ben Sherman.

OK, OK.

You go to that one.

We don't go to show, you know, we don't know.We're not allowed over there.Bougie.All right, send us off, Doc, and say bye to them.

Bye, and we'll see you, fucking.Thank you for being a patron.

A little rusty.

A little bit.

Hey, thank you for being a bad friend.Love you.Wait, do this one more time.Say it again and I'm going to mouth it and make me do it.Ready?One, two, three.

Thank you for being a bad friend.