Cosas de TREPACERROS

Los hermanos de leche, leche, leche.

Hermanos de leche, leche.

Que te la eche.

Los hermanos de leche.

Bienvenidos, hermanos de leche. Hoy vamos a platicar cosas de Honduras.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

Cosas.

Oías.

O cosas de campamento.

Vengan por mí.

Vengan por mí.

Oye. Vengan por mí. I was the boss to spend 45 million pesos in 15 years. Oh, you started hard, did you have an agenda? I remember in my time, if you saw a 15 year old who had power or duelo, you said, the man brings another marriage. The transport line in Allende was there. It was there, but you said, the man brings another marriage.

And then suddenly, hey, the girl bought him a red Mustang and he had power. And it was also intense. Otro matrimonio y de repente oye que la chavita le compraron un mustang rojo y estuvo el poder y esto además estuvo intenso y armónico Bueno, el señor tiene tres familias y luego cuando decían no la chavita cerró todo bosque mágico bueno el señor verga la señora Trae culpa trae culpa pero cuando son 45 millones de pesos y trae se Jay Balvin otra el señor anda con otro señor I mean, I know. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing.

It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. the que incluía tú crees que que incluía belinda y galilea como dijo el gran tony samacona en la película siete días que ya lo dicen mucho lo replican pero aquí aplica perfecto hay gente tan pobre que lo único que tienes dinero es una frase muy ya muy usada ya es muy cliché y ahí

es una muestra también de que la clase no se compra carnal y sobre todo la clase de quienes and it's also a sign that the class doesn't buy, man. And especially the class of those who accept that job, also, no, well, theirs is kind of in between, right?

So if I had told you, sir, I want you to come to the market, I'll give you 10 million pesos.

I mean, if you tell your representative, they're never going to pay me that, honestly, I'd go for free. But the point is, if they tell your representative, you tell him to go for it because you don they going to... Why are they willing to give me so much? And if you're charging 5 million pesos to go sing in the mornings,

there must be a little bit of guilt in your mind, right? Yes, yes, yes. You can't leave without scraping the furniture. Of course. That's what we judges are for. If you took your 5 million, but...

But it's wrong, It's a little bad because you have to ask yourself, where will they come from in a country with so much inequality, where will they come from 5 million just to sing the morning songs? Now, maybe I don't charge that and it's

fake press and you and I are here falling into fake news, but, well, the prices are said there that for driving the red carpet the Then, what are you going to do to me? Maybe they should have investigated him. And when they said, we know who the party is for, they said, this is worth it. Because the lightning is going to be hard. And wow, it was hard.

The shit lightning is going to be hard.

It went viral, we are already talking.

Go ahead, say, hey, it's 5 million and the last one, Laura, Laura!

Of eggs. No, a lot of people say we're a political podcast for nothing. For nothing? We're two big human beings doing comedy. Oh, man, I think I'm going to have a piece of pancreas, man.

No, man. We're not in the mood.

You're going to see everything dark here, man.

Camping stuff.

Climbing stuff.

Climbing stuff. the There are two types of camps. The technology camp and the technology camp. I got both. And the technology camp, there were a lot of ugly things. Because right now, you can say it, right now they record themselves. I don't know how the guy does it, but he records himself and says, I'm here in Wyoming.

And he puts the camera to record.

Yes, a lot of discovery.

And before it was, you said,

I've been drinking my urine for two days. And you see a tap behind you, you say, what for? For what? But yes, he went camping again. He became a mame also to generate

memories to your children. Those who have them. I remember Dad took me to the fish market. Here in the north.

Fishing, fishing, camping.

Yes, fishing, fishing. The fishing, my god, how uncomfortable those sunbaths were. You didn't know the blocker yet. And there I associated something very ugly with going fishing. But the fishing, well, it was going to enclaustrate. There was a fucking lamp lights, for three days, on the weekend.

They hired a guy to cook for them all day.

And your dad was 12 years old and he would ask you to shoot him. Shoot him.

But he was a guy with no balls.

Look, he doesn't have...

No!

Shoot him, shoot him!

No, I don so I'm telling you I'm trying to be a very good on camera. Look video. But I can't. He's probably just by a lot. He's probably just by a lot. Estarian. I remember the Arnold episode where Helga goes with Refri and his dad. Do you remember that episode?

It's what I'm telling you.

The RV, that is, that you shit in a bathroom that has a truck, that's not going to nature. No, man. Shit and clean with leaves, maybe you're already ... but people started exaggerating.

Look, I'm going to tell you something. Two things happened to me with my dad and I love him a lot and he's a great guy, but... You realize if your dad is good to be in the woods or not worth it.

The archie, you think?

No, my dad is a bitch, but I saw, for example, friends who got together, dads and kids, and suddenly you realize when the man is not worth it. If the man got lost in the woods, he was going to die. I'm gonna play with you. I'm gonna play with you. I'm gonna play with you. I'm gonna play with you. I'm gonna play with you. I'm gonna play with you.

I'm gonna play with you. I'm gonna play with you. now or that suddenly the laugh of those gentlemen is that the fucking man goes with the elbows well taped so that you know that you are walking in a place that is not good of levels and the typical man who goes with the shoes and nothing else, look children and we're going to see it. And the foot, something like that. And this, it's gone. You have to go to a doctor for it. And they just arrived, they brought an apple, a grapefruit here.

Yes, you realize how there are things that...

And another, alcohol too. I went to a fishing, fishing, to the... To the... Knife. To the knife, you're already asleep, your dad gets you into the house, the... I want to get a divorce. But it hurts, Ivancito. Those are the first revelations, right? You hear things and because there is a silence, you're like,

I fucked her. I mean, like... The first big revelations of your life, bro. Of your boss. You as a kid, you hear things like, Yes, bro, they got her, but I can take it.

It doesn't work for him. You're a scientist of society, because you have a zoom, that not even an iPhone 17 Pro Max has in that eye. And you do this behavior very well, when you don't get the nature and the exteriors,

you don't get it. And there are bands that saw a lot of video grills, or that has a name for restaurants, this guy that appears on Discovery Channel, and a lot of content started to be made out of this. But, for example, their kids are asked to shit in the mountains.

My dad was like, I want you to shit in the mountains. And he was like, why dad? But why? I think that every time you go to the mountains, you're like, why dad? Why? And sometimes you'd grab a rope and tie it to balance yourself. And I was like, how? There's no need for this.

I think that my parents saw it as a man's thing. Yeah, it was a thing of... That you're a caveman.

Why do I have to shit? And you also think that whispers are going to be fertilizer for plants. And your dad tells you, no, don't worry about that, don't clean it because it joins with nature and it biodegrades. It's organic, son, it's poop that serves as fertilizer for... You just see a dead squirrel when you go down the hill again, intoxicated with your shit. It's true, man.

Bring a Chino Arrieta cake. Or if your dad brings hepatitis. is I remember I said, hey, it's rotten. It's dead. It's a mango, man.

The mango dried up.

The mango dried up.

Not a single fruit gave that mango again. But I don't know why the bosses want you to shit outside and clean yourself with stones, man. It's a meme that they bring it well marked. There they feel burns. I've been going to the hill, bro,

since the Gatorades were made of glass. Of course. carnales de que estaban los gators de vidrio como no mi jefe de los que anunciaba michael jordan cuando existían esos mi jefe me llevaba al cerro de las antenas que son que son acá por donde están unas colonias ya bien personas y había un campo de gol donde se hace el abierto de tenis de mujeres acá en monterrey sonoma ahí subías al cerro de las Antenas, the antenna of channel 28, the one of... Oh no, I think that's in the... No, that's channel 2.

The one of channel 2 and the one of... The one of multimedia, I think it's in the Cerro de las Antenas, dude.

I think so.

And my dad never climbed it, dude. Climbing the hill is frustrating, bro. But my dad did know because he's an agronomist or technician that could kill a kid with a look. I'll never forget when I changed a bike. A transfer. You can't kill him. I told the scooter rider, but that guy changed my father, he changed a bike in front of me for a kid.

And the guy was savoring it because my mom was going to make it with salsa. Because he was fascinated that my mom could make it with salsa. Because she loved it. My mom could match her mom's recipe. My grandma's recipe. She still eats 97. She doesn't leave.

She doesn't leave.

She doesn't leave.

2 grams of tapioca starch. I love my grandma Yolanda. I send her a big hug.

I can't.

I thought you were a thug.

No, I come from ugly people. I know. No, ugly people. I come from ugly people, bro. The wound I got when I saw my father over there in Parras de la Fuente, Coahuila and my brothers they taught me a lesson of maturity because everyone was on my father's side

and my mother too, because that makes a good wife. Imagine if my mother was on my side. No, they told me, hey, yours is material, but your father's desire to eat goat No me jaron a lot use material pero las ganas de tu padre de comer cabrito esa zona intangibles way a kiss a tease for ser las porque estas porque es el proveedor de esto entonces

ya no hay ni de esos porque yo le doy el valor a mi padre que yo creo que a ver si el cabrito que más rico le hace a bien porque venía con mis lágrimas estaba preparado con mis lágrimas I feel like it's the best thing I've ever tasted. Because it came with my tears. It was prepared with my tears.

And something that I tell the bosses like your dad is

clean yourself with stones. So you know. And all of a sudden, two days later, you get an infection.

Laura! You grabbed a stone that had a mushroom

from the river.

It had a snot from a truncheon.

The kid had a spore in his anus. When I was very young, I was from Guadalupe and my dad started to get a little money and he took me to a school in Chepevera, in El Obispado. And there were kids from San Pedro. And obviously where I lived in La Linda Vista, there were Boy Scouts of La Linda Vista, but obviously it was a lower level. I'm not going to be an Haitian. I mean, look at those kids. Their grandfather was the owner of Mugersa, the other one.

He's an old man.

And I would come in, imagine, all dressed up. I looked like Russell from Up, but I didn't bring my suit. Because the cool suit I bought in McAllen without internet or anything, I brought it from McAllen like that, not in Casa Marcelo or anything, but it's a place, it was worth 120 dollars. Casa Marcelo, Casa Madero, Casa Enrique.

And I arrive, short, khaki and a white shirt. But from Guadalupe. I was from Guadalupe, San Pedro.

Were they Boy Scouts?

They were Boy Scouts. And, man, from the rope. The rope was made of islet, but it was covered with wax so it wouldn't tear. I knew about rope from Islet. Even the fruits came washed from Ichibiwe.

It's a mom that, ironically, is I'm not going to edit this. Seeing an adult dressed as a child is not good. For me, and it's like with the legionaries, without demeriting the movement, and I'm not going to edit this, but when the leader... No, yes, when the leader... Yes, bandit, it's freedom of expression, don't be like that.

I remember a little bit, I was in the Boy Scouts for four days, first because I wasn't fit physically scouts. no tu este majo y hoy a tu Cesar o este Mauricio Santi no no no nombre de este Alberto no es que creen en alta también hoy y de repente y van y no escucha escuchillos este chavo este vato y de repente se sube la mole y donde tenía

que brincar más escuchó I heard... Oh! 8 years. I hit my back and my lungs just went like this.

I never understood him. I was more of a squadron. I was the version of Boy Scouts, but they put religion in it. It was even worse. And then, the Boy Scouts of God

were like that. I remember that... They were like constructions. Not deconstructions, dios eran así yo me acuerdo que se daban este era de construcciones no de construirse sino de tenías que hacer como construcciones con con unos palos de madera que no me acuerdo como se llamaban bordones y luego todavía unos había unos que justificaban ese pedo porque decían vas a estar con viejas

conviviendo ya que eran todas lenchas y ya pintaban las de cadena y la verdad they said, you're going to be with old ladies living together, and they were all lynched. Yes, they already painted. The chain ones and the truth is that there are some chain ones. Laura! It hardened so much that they said, I'm going to the squadron better. Yes. And they're going to see how they peel me the shit out of all the coyotes. The old lady said, I sit on the stone and I split it in half. With the pure... With the pure edge. With the pure edge that I have here. Hey, another thing that made me laugh. But what did they teach you? I remember that it was

What did they teach you in the Boy Scouts that I couldn't have taught you the archery?

Look, they put you in all and all of a sudden let's see, we're going to give them a problem for making a bonfire without this I mean, the guys, we thought they were Scorpions from Mortal Kombat X. With their bare hands. And then there's Udo. The one who doesn't feel bad that we're touching them.

With the robot.

I'll show you the card.

Because they give you medals for everything. They give you a medal for punctuality, a medal for persistence, a medal for being the best builder, a medal for not telling my parents that they're touching me. And it makes you proud to wear it. Because they gave you that merit of

as long as you don't say it, this secret is kept. We are defaming very dense and there are people who do have them.

No, there are people who do.

I remember the episode of the Simpsons of the Chaos Eggs. That too. The razor was why many crooks could enter. They promised a Victory Knox of 120 balls from Plaza La Silla if they graduated from 5th grade.

Go for it!

And they told you on the second avenue that you come here we are going to teach you how to make a bonfire and they took your Victory Knox and they took out a magnifying glass with the magnifying glass.

Two hours, that guy was cloudy. He didn't learn anything. No, the Irishman said foreign foreign a topic of starting to live together early on and how life in society had good things. It was cool, but sometimes there were Boy Scouts who were not so committed. For example, I had to, we were just kids and the oldest was 20 years old or a 37-year-old guy who was still with his mom, but he didn't have so much responsibility. He had alcoholism problems and the only thing was that when they got together,

he was going to leave your mom in the morning on was that when they got together, your mom was going to leave you on Sunday morning and when you came back, when they had to pick you up at night, your mom was going and the man said, I can't find the boy. They didn't know where you were. Suddenly they talk to you about Walmart Las Torres, 6th corridor. He was sitting there.

He was drunk. He says, the boy was found here in the sausage shop talking to the guy from Oscar Mayer. With the ones that show products. And he says, man, have you ever been to Walmart? Did you take a taxi?

No, no, it's a joke.

And there are kids that are not made for nature. As a father you have to identify them. They bite a fly and get full of seeds. What do you want your son to paint for you? Laura! Laura! At 17, shoot a deer. He's warning you that what he wants

is Billy Elliot. He's warning you that he wants you to take me to see the Cuban ballet company at 8. He doesn't want to shoot an arc.

He wants to be opened like an arc.

He wants him to do the arc of triumph.

That's what he wants. There's a lot of conservatism here with this exterior thing. Have you seen Yellowstone? I don't know. How are the cowboys? They're all living in a cabin. And it's like, dad, I don't know what you're transmitting to me here.

Because manliness, like playing poker without a lime, with some bot lights. is I'm You think there's a lot of... A lot of phrases from Señor de la Merga. The faggot. Yeah, get out of there.

Get out.

You can smell the gorgon.

The fucking guajolote. There's a type of masculinity that I think is the one of the regio. That is neither the one of a Señor de Sonora that puts in a lot of merga. Nor the one of a Jalisco. Not so much, not so much. Just stick it with this.

And that's it.

There's no way to... To urinate blood. So that they have to drink Seltzers instead of beer.

Of pure pain.

Look, I think it also helps you a lot when you're with the old man. You're in a cage, a fucking ranch in a...

A cage.

In a cage, and you're looking at the fucking pigs, the savages. You're there in Ramos Arispe, and you're like, you're throwing them a big one. And your dad, like if he were a Frankensteiner,

breathes. Ah!

Feel it, the animal is feeling you, it's feeling you. What's going on? Respira. Ah. Ah. Siente. Te está sintiendo el animal. Te está sintiendo.

Ah. Ya lo tienes, mijo.

Sí.

No, papá y yo nos vamos a divorciar.

Decilo.

No eres mi hijo. Ah.

Que le empieza a mezclar cosas.

Ya no de el jabalí.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. I'm like, you know, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm sorry, Aurelio. and you're not that far away. If you still hear the RG, where are you? You're not that far away.

Yeah, yeah, dude.

If you still hear Santiago rap, where are you, man? You went up to Cienega de González. Here you can still see a panoramic view of Esmart.

You look out and there's a fifth one down there.

No, you didn't go anywhere to cook the shit you're cooking. Sure. what I'm going to do. You take a chicken in a dry ice, from there in a reynoza style, and you eat better than the shit that the bosses want to do. Egg with beans and blood. Yes, egg with blood. And deer. Or squirrel hearts. Who are you? We are going to eat rabbit, rabbit tamales. Make them pork. Yes. Stop being a jerk. You already killed the animal did you have to eat it? But for them it's like a ritualistic thing, that if you don't eat it, why did you kill it?

You sacrificed it in vain.

In vain. In vain. And well, you're fucking with San Juan's mother, and sausages like that, and here, cambra onions, and suddenly your dad gets a live crown. He throws it to the men.

He's going to fall. I remember that. I'm gonna take them off. bosque y el jefe post tenía bien claro que ese hijo era el bonito el sagrado y le ponía el jefe apache de que era el capataz del rancho liceo la legado a lo este punto y se va a hacer pelea con un oso cada vez algo te dicen cuando te dice se fue como como operar te con un oso al chile estos señores están llenos de según ellos que a tales viendo que porque también piensan que vieron el According to them, keep watching them. Because they also think they saw the Chupacabras. They are gentlemen who kill the devil with a machete in the brain.

I laughed because they say, it's kind of weird when they say, they're all like that, and the devil outside says, I'm going to tell you something, see this?

Insulin resistance.

It brings black, dude. It's insulin resistance, boss. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no And the bear, not seeing your eyes, you cover your face and start saying

No! No! No! Don't touch me!

And then you grab the bear's arms, take his watch off, and hit him here And you say, I'm going to tell my mom that I don't have you here, Uncle Carlos! And everything.

And I'm just gonna die of what?

Of the most serious. No se quita, no se quita. No, no mami. Y no más ves al líder del caminato con la Victoria y no se sigue en parada. No, fuera de pedos, que terrible que no estaba hablando del oso.

No, nunca habló de él. Habló del tío Roel. Pero oye, yo cuando estaba de novio, yo cuando estaba de novio, mi esposa, mi wife, my beloved wife, we were boyfriends and I had a little house in the countryside.

How is it that there is a little girl here? So I was going here in Monterrey, those who see us from far away, it's called El Manzano. They rented your space for 40 bolas, 40 pesos. So I put my little house in the countryside and there was always a space to grill meat. And I would get close to a post office, they had their post offices of light, mercantile light, I mean mercantile, mercantile is the bank.

And below there were connections. I would take a, before it was a DVD with a screen. a We only heard crickets and deer. And I was like, Mom!

Laura!

Laura!

Mom! No, no, no.

Suddenly, we only heard

Nacho Libre!

And Esqueleto!

And my daughter was like, Turn off the DVD. We're in the woods. And we heard, I was going down a little bit. And then in another cabin you could hear it

but it was a silent creak and then in another you could hear it and in the last cabin you couldn't hear it

I mean, people who were...

but what I liked was that you would fall asleep and in the morning you woke up and that ass. Like a fucking egg. You wake up and you're like... You go out, the fucking papers with poop and you had pooped the day before like a pig. A bear took it out in front of you. A raccoon had eaten everything. A rac would have taken your Jeep, Rubicon.

It's an austere plan. In fact, if you are inviting them to Balcerro, it is an esoteric plan. Because there is no hotel, man. No. Making the fire like this, it's useless. If you need to take that, everyone knows that with some good Doritos.

There are some guys that are... In Chile they are the mother. They have a podcast called Ideas de Altura. What do they do? I think it's called Mauricio and Gael.

They go up the hills, up to Picos. And what do they do? They record the podcast up there. But what do they do? I'm I mean, I do think you release endorphins. I've been climbing the hill, I can't...

It feels cool.

I've climbed hills, but I once would have killed myself on a hill, I was going to fall. I don't like climbing anymore.

Let's see, it doesn't feel cool, bro, because you're always wanting to go back. Especially on the climb, you say, don't be a jerk, I haven't made it, I'm so tired, and imagine what I have to do now, to go down. But it's a mental effort that, you can do it in the gym in La Colonia, you don't have to go to the hill.

In the end, you don't have to climb the hill to start smoking weed, and I tell a lot of people that...

Or be a better person.

Exactly, it has nothing to do with it. I'm going to the gym now, and instead of doing leg work, which I'm bored of, I prefer to go to the gym.

Doesn't the descent make you feel worse than the ascent?

I think that... Or the knees? Well, you get stronger if you have technique and you support... If you have good shoes, some spikes, but you support with the heel more than the toe when you're going down. So there you do give a lot of strength to a lesion that is also very common, which is the ankle fracture. So the band doesn't have it strengthened.

So I do think that the hill and up there, no way, good view, bro. You see the Monterrey Stadium and stuff.

The only thing I criticize, a person with obesity says, is believing that you go to the hill, you are a better person. You are not. Who can believe they are a better person for doing something or stop doing something or consuming something? Because many guys that I know, I say not you, but many who went up to a hill is because one day before or they hit someone or they passed a high or something they did wrong, they fought with their family. And they go up the hill and that's it. Right now we are in social media moments.

A photo that is seen on Facebook, bragging that you went up and just with a sentence. You have to go with someone, you just can't. That he takes the photo and that everything is seen and says, from up here I look at them.

Yes, you got it, I already understood who you are talking about. And there are those who put, I'm in the top of the world. I'm in the top of your life, not even in your peak. You just ran from Oxxo, man. You just climbed the Chupon, which is on its way, full of communication students smoking mota. So, nothing is happening, you're just climbing the hill. And I think that any band that takes any hobby to feel superior to another,

well, it's going to be a shit. And they brag to you, they say, man, I went on a new route, no one has gone, man. for I'm in the top of the world. I'm just... I'm in the top of the world. No. I'm just... I'm in the top of the world. I'm just...

I'm in the top of the world.

I'm in the top of the world.

I'm just... I'm in the top of the world. I'm just... I'm in the top of the world. I'm just... No. It's very common to see at night a fucking old lady, Pablo Olivas. Look, it's on and off in the hill. It's been on and off for three hours. Yes.

And if you read it in Morse code, I already put it here in the Gemini. And look, check it out, read it well. Morse code says, Raya dos no vale verga.

Guiñac is your dad.

Uno cero nos la pelaron. Yes, dude. but Guiñac is your dad. 1-0, we lost. A guy in the hill doing that. No, you lose like that and it's very... It looks like they're recording the Lord of the Rings when they're there

in Las Picadas. Why? Because it's very spicy, bro. It obviously has a route, but...

There are people who made a route.

Yes, let's see, that mother... I'm and there's the cable car and then there's the North Peak which is to get to... Have you been there? No, no, I've never been to Cerro de la Silla, I'm just imagining it as they tell me

Well, you went to the cable car You went to the cable car

I have the ability to make up things

Yes

Brutal

I saw you where you were, way up there

No, I go to El Chup me time, give me time and I'll tell you.

You're a stone sucker.

I found myself, the other time I went, bro. I wasn't alone, I always went up with a grifillo, compas that he liked too, or Lalito Justicia, who loves to climb hills, my lawyer and my good friend. But I found a guy from addiction. Alone? Alone. Alone. He, the guy from the addiction. And I went up, and he was already tattooed, and the guy was like, hair like, double P, you know, and,

and he kind of saw me, and I... Did he come close to you? No, no, no, but you could see the vibe, because he was like, I'm not free and crazy, but I'm more in tune with the colors of the tigers. Until I got a little bit of a kick. That's when we started to get together. He offered me water, which was also a good thing. But what I see is that up there there are no colors.

They're all the same people.

You made the same effort and it's hard.

I like that ideology. You made the same effort.

You respect in your guild those who made the same effort as you. Those who got involved in the same way. It's the same with the hill, you have to respect the one who did the same shit, because it's hard to climb it. Sure.

I've seen people...

There are people who stay in the middle.

Many people choose to say in the middle, I'll give it to you until here, the next one we'll go up and never went back. And there's no problem, man. It doesn't make you better to go up hills, but it's a type of exercise that, more than physical, I think it's mental.

So it's like overcoming.

It's a domain of, I never go up hills, I just go up here to the Chupon. I'm talking about those who go up Everest and stay dead. And they don't go down. the to the top, are key, you need sherpas. What's a sherpa? Sherpas are the Tibetan guys you pay to have them take you to the oxygen tanks. Ok. And you also need to have a working lung, I mean, not even running a marathon, running a marathon is a stupid thing compared to climbing a K2, an Everest.

If you one day talk to a guy who climbed the Everest and went down, you do need to shake his hand and take a picture with him. the tour. It's easy, that's not good, hunting elephants is easy. But there are people who pay to do it, like Lucerito and Mijares.

Go for it.

King Felipe. Do you think it would cost to shoot him? Yes, King Juan Carlos, but... How much do you think it costs to shoot one of those precious animals?

No, well...

The pure shot costs you a million dollars. Yes, I bite you.

Yes.

So there are rich people's hobbies that are... You have to pay a lot for them.

Look, someone who hurt us a lot, Adrián.

Beer...

Mr. Beer.

What?

Bear Grylls. Bear Grylls. Bear Grylls? Bear Grylls.

Mr. Bean.

No, Bear Grylls? Mr. Bean No, Bear Grylls. and you apply that, you start to want to... Hey, we can take a... Are you stupid, man? I can know where the south is with a leaf, water and salt. And then, hey, we can take a... Are you stupid, man? No, water is with those. I can cut a stone and make an ax.

And then, hey, man, we could take... I've lost toilet paper.

Are you stupid, man? You know what? With a piece of paper. They turn on a lighter to light the 7 pipes they have.

Yeah.

And they're already smoked. It's very associated, bro.

But the problem is that they believe, they rely on this. And on the first one, bro. On the first one they turn on, they screw it up. It's like, bro, we're here. I didn't bring anything from what we said, you are going to apply the Berglitz. That guy. Let's do it.

Let's make fire. Look, bring me some dry grass. Bring me a thread, please. I didn't bring thread, well, there is no thread. Bring me a little of that leaf over there. Put it there. and But well, we tried. All night without fire, the next day everyone was bitten by a wolf.

Laura! Laura!

A man from...

He even has military rations that he ordered on Amazon.

Yes, he did.

We're going to eat this.

No, what are you talking about?

From the Second World War, man.

I ordered them on Amazon, bro. And we're going to see what this is. And don't be an asshole. I told you we would get some seafood, Mr. Arturo. We're in Rayones.

We're in Rayones, we can bring a crazy chicken.

But the band likes that look, they arrive and this band is the first thing they say I like the disconnection but because you have a debtor who is looking for you

in the community. And then they start saying I'm disconnecting. You have a JLB speaker, connected to Bluetooth, listening to Spotify, and it's still picking up signal.

Yeah, bring the one from Elon Musk. You're not disconnected from anything. You know, those guys are scary. They say, look, I want to stay here because I want to disconnect and find myself and I pass a fucking helicopter of the civil force and the guy is behind a Wizz H I mean, the guy has a warrant, he stays there for three days to be forgotten

Who wants to disconnect normally? Those who have feet down there in the hill

Those who are connected are not worth shit Who wants to disconnect normally? Those who are connected are not worth shit I mean, to your side Yes. Don Roberto, a la siete de la tarde, no saben que, ganó Tigres, y lo vi, o sea, tú y yo somos seres que todavía tenemos una conexión muy funcional con la sociedad. Que le sabemos a la vida. Cuidado con los desconectados, normalmente están descalzos, huelen mal, o van a amar.

Era para tener así un corto también. I was going to have a short too. There goes one that I have to tell you about the camp. Those guys suck me, they feel like shit and they get lost. Those guys that say, let's see, bastards, this is how this shit is going to be, follow me. Do you want to survive? Follow me. Do you want to be shit? Follow me. Do you want to be a dick? Follow me. Two If you want to be a fag, follow me.

Two hours later, the dude was in Chile, I don't know where to hit him. Marihuana! Marihuana! Those guys were tying a thread or something, so the guy was going to bring a rag. Look, we were going to leave pieces of red rag to know the return. But other guys had already guys on the other side.

You ended up on the side of Saltillo and you were coming from Cumbres. And you were like, man, I lost. How, man? We're following you.

Whenever I went up early, there was a guy and you didn't realize it. The first time you saw a guy like that, you'd kick his ass. A guy who came with a machete hitting him.

Yeah, man.

And until your dad explained to you, he's opening the gap, he's marking the path, because sometimes there are hills that don't have a route.

They don't have a route.

But the first time you see a pipe, that's when you go, ah! This, no, get out, man.

You always see an old man, up there, dressed dressed as a civilian, but in a huarache. And he's got a...

He's a big guy, he's a big guy.

And that guy says, sir, we got lost, don't worry, get behind me, sir, I'm about 57, 20 kilos of wet weight, sir. He's a weirdo. And the guy says, put it on me, because here comes the devil. Can you imagine the guy, did you see the predator with... Of course, of course! What's his name? No, it was Daniela...

Vili The fucking old man, you realize that he looks dark, man. Mr. Guarache, black finger, like that.

He's trained!

With the machete and nothing else. Go, I stay here. I'm going to throw myself, I'm going to throw myself the shot and it's running to the darkness.

Nobody saw him again.

Nobody saw him again, just the other day. They machete a man from the CFE electricity commission in Cerro de las Mitras, who was checking an electric antenna they say that a crazy old man went and smashed it thinking it was the bird man

and he

they look for him in three states in Coahuila, in Tamaulipas but he thinks he smashed the devil he is a schizophrenic from the psychiatric pavilion that lives in the hills he is going to take care of the devil

the devil.

The devil.

Because those gentlemen believe that the owls are the devil.

Yes, man.

The whores are the devil.

No, they're Catemaco brutes.

The children.

The children are the devil.

The devil's wife.

Yeah, because

you always greet when you go up is but the ones that are single, they usually wear a cheese because they want to see their ass and the problem is that now there is a lot of fitness so the ability to...

Laura!

sometimes they disguise themselves with fitness I'll explain

yeah because it's not necessary to go to leggings with your ass up to go to the gym

no, no, no, no, and the thing is that everyone wins, everyone wins.

I love the dudes that, and they make their friends believe that they're some bitches to climb hills,

and you go up and you hear the guy. I'm back! The best thing to do, man, there's a mom that I was very high on, because I did it, but go down the hill running. You can give yourself the best time of your life, but the adrenaline of going, I mean, with some good sneakers, going down, running like this,

and going down.

Oh, man, my respect. Every five minutes you need to go, parkour!

Parkour, parkour!

And you go like, what? It's like going down a hill running. It's like mountain biking. Have you seen the videos? It's cool to do it. But going down it running is another thing.

Now, also those guys remember that the movies take us to hell because they make us believe a reality that doesn't exist. You have a comrade who believes in John Rambo in the movie

First Blood. The one that goes up a trail and he's like, me and the other guy are the same. It's a mix between John Rambo and this thing called Nacho Libre. Because the guy says, you know what? I'm going to take off. And the guy, I'm going to intern in the weeds.

And suddenly the guy thinks he made the cabin. What they do right now on YouTube, they think they made a... a... well, like a hideout and that it's going to be weird for him to find me in 3 hours from where you are, man, from the top of the super 7 we are watching you from the top of the...

that guy makes me laugh. He tells you a story like How are you? I found you, you didn't find me. I made a cabin, I ate from nature, rabbits.

Joel.

From Los Cabazos, from the buffet, from there, from the restaurant, I'm seeing everything you're doing. It's like... is in foreign foreign foreign foreign

foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign I saw a guy who also said, I'm going to the forest and a lion ate him. A bear. And you know there's audio recording, because he was a very famous photographer. I don't recommend the band, please don't go. I recommend you go listen to the audio.

Oh, the audio?

Yes, when the bear kills him. And they found the remains of the bear in his stomach. They obviously took the bear down. They looked for him. Because the journalist was very famous. And he was just portraying the grizzly bears.

Which is the biggest bear in the world. One of the biggest, imagine. So there's the coffee, the grizzly, and the blackie. The grizzly, the blackie, the lojizly, and the amarizly. That recording is terrible the mountain bike

i don't touch it because the fat guy always criticize me but the mountain bike is very attractive, the dudes are the ones that never got married or divorced the ones that never had a girlfriend

ask for it without a seat

yes without a seat

and instead of wearing a normal short, they wear lycra. They wear lycra, they ride on their knees, as they say. Riding a bike that doesn't give you that, I think is the scream of the most I want to f*** in this world. Greetings to Eddie Lozano, who sees us, which is not true. He wants everything but my dear friend, Eddie Lozano.

He sees us a lot. I'm sure he wants everything but my dear friend Eddie Lozano. But... He doesn't see us much. But what I'm saying is that the bike has to do with mountain, very crazy, something like that. Suddenly the guy, you saw him in the rails 20 years ago, sucking donkey and getting into that perico, and suddenly... I'm a biker.

No.

Do you have a Harley Davidson?

No.

He bought me a bike. A real biker. And he said, you bring the money, you buy a bike that will last a day, you go with him, and in the first one, if he gets a branch in the rim, he's done. Like a goat?

Look, and they love to show off the bike because they put it on like it doesn't weigh anything, and they put it on, look.

Look. and they put it on like it doesn't weigh anything, look look and the guy tells you, this bike, the pure frame is made of carbon fiber and it only weighs 300 grams the tires weigh 25 kilos but the pure frame

no, he says, if that frame costs 300 I can get you a frame that you can get

30 thousand dollars

if you dilute it well

in

in New York they leave it at 30 thousand dollars if you sell it in a hidden port more than you Say no by your teller that honey trinitamine dollars No, but the one a cosa que el vato La única forma como 90 compaña eres una persona muy solitaria Este vato te tiene que presumir tu bici en la fiesta pero nadie le preguntó son ways que This guy has to show off his bike at the party. But no one asked him, it's a whiskey. Hey, did you see Julio Cepeda? That they're going to take it away.

Yes, bro, that's bad. Did you see that Julio Cepeda's logo is a bicycle? Yes, well, he was a cyclist. I'm giving it to him too. I mean, he has to stick so you can get to that. And you tell him, oh, go ahead. Hey, pass me the seasoning. And he gives you the cell phone.

Golden Marcellana. He gives you the cell phone and they say, look, dude. And the guy in leggings, you can tell the eggs, with the bike on his shoulder, and a passion fruit juice. They call me Knight Rider, with whom we meet.

How many do you hang out with? Ryder. I'm not criticizing cycling, I'm criticizing mountain biking. No, obviously you're not criticizing it. I'm not criticizing it.

I'm just saying that this guy is the best athlete and cyclist.

He's got to weigh, I think, 25 kilos. Because it's like the jockeys that go up to the horses. You can't weigh. I can't be a cyclist. There's a guy, I saw a video where a cyclist

gets like this, and he's like the jockeys that go up to the horses, you can't weigh them. I can't be a cyclist. There's a guy, I was watching a video where a cyclist gets like this, like...

Like...

Face down.

He breaks the laws of physics and lies down on the bike to go faster. Like, like the shit gets... Yeah, they're skinny as fuck. He must be really expensive, but Lance Armstrong, remember that he was our idol. Sure. but Lance Armstrong, remember he was our idol and he even sold bracelets what a deal

and he was a big deal and the guy was so drunk

he was drinking cocktail of Gavino the guy was drinking cocktail of Gavino with a michelada

but the shrimp was coming to Caduco

in the corner of the eyes

no, that one did not make it strong Lance Armstrong I'm gonna go get the way I'm gonna throw this one at you. What makes me mad is when they spend resources from the state. It's when...

Oh, man!

Oh, man!

I'm sending you 2028.

I'm sending you 2028.

No, man. It's two guys that...

I get it. They lose someone and...

I would rescue two guys that went to a hill with a Soriana bag because there are races that suddenly and with tennis, guys who do not go prepared, a Soriana bag, two Durans, an orange and two sandwiches and a Coke Zero they go up and get lost and there are the guys, 7 in the afternoon, you just them from Fidel Verstappen Hey, turn on the fucking Tomahawk of the Civil Force or what was it? The Black Hawk No, no, no, no, it's a Tomahawk, it's a meat

You turn it on

Where you hit it like this turning on the Tomahawk

There were 2 million pesos of turbo

2 million pesos of turbo Hey, we're here in Guadalupe and they're attacking us. Bring the mini-me. There's a guy in the Chipitin mountain.

Like this.

Two guys from the Pio X. What did they have up there?

Or maybe they say, they bit a lady's bees. How many are 2,500 bees, man?

They're nothing, man.

They're nothing, like sending a helicopter. Right now we'll send you a drone to see how you're doing,

or the helicopter to Rojillo that they rent you out

for $1,000.

Let's see, what happens, brother, and you're going to agree with me, people who are unconscious. If right now I tell you, let's go to the hill after recording. Here is very close to the entrance in Mederos, in fact, there is a band station. And you tell me yes. Well, what are you doing? An unconsciousness.

One has to know when he is ready to go up the hill. And if he just goes up to look good with that ass that he told you yes. foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign I guess you look see this one. No, it's not It's less less to see no a one-year-old. We've got to reveal

We know you're watching a test and I think I'm a person

I'm a gentleman harassed yes, it's a sport can terminate in the helicopter

It's for a savanna can already know a packet is we are new pay is a Key to secure this particular Tomahawk por ellos y luego lo rescatan y encontramos a dos vatos este con comida de la chingada y todos mal vestidos y todos acá ahí arriba. Los rescatan, pasa una semana vuelves a verlos, los entrevista a Telediario y dice vamos a ver a los chavos que encontramos mal vestidos y mal comidos ahí arriba en el cerro una semana después como les ha ido y siguen igual. We were all dressed up and poorly dressed up there in the hill a few weeks later. How did it go?

And they're still the same. They were already, without going up the hill, poorly dressed and poorly eaten. They were homeless from Hialeah. They were homeless from Hialeah. The guy was from Artes Visuales de La Uyuni. Yeah, they were already lying there, they just threw them up.

They just threw them up. The guys didn't get dirty. That's how they always walk. And they always have a bag with two durans and a sandwich. When they go to the excursion. My mom, those outdoors, who are in the cabins. And there are guys who are not. I've seen them in the Huasteca.

Hey, the Huasteca. I laugh that. They are guys who believe they are professionals. But they only took a course on YouTube. And the teacher says, let's see, guys, you have to put it right. What do you call it? The gauze.

There are some things that are put on the mountains so that they are hooks. As I am going to put several, there are several protectors with drill, but you have to do it professionally. I am a person who carries this

and you handle the guide so that they do not. First see the example first, the guy goes up and everyone impressed with him as he guided him, that guy if he knows and he just stays. Look, I let go and

let's go to the times that the guy is falling.

No, Molin, no, Molin.

And everyone like that.

There have been many of those. Yes, but the drill was black and decker. Just like Rocky made the park in Rome full of vomited eggs when he came out of his premiere. When he premiered the two of Mission Impossible, I think a lot of people in the Huasteca said, I can do them all.

With the one of High Climber.

Do you remember how Tom Cruise's one starts?

Yeah, man.

Now it became viral that according to this, he doesn't use cables.

You don't remember the one from High Climber? That one where he dies at the beginning of the... Imagine a guy here from the Civil Guard. I mean, what are the guys called? The ones that take care of us? No, it's not the Civil Guard.

It's the Civil Protection. Imagine, man. what can I see I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. Don't do that. I don't give a fuck. They want to impress their women. They are in the tip of the Aguasteca and the woman is down there. And they scream, I'm coming. And they fall and arrive in two minutes.

I want to grab you, but in the hill, but hooked. And there are the two. And they fall there. The woman 80 kilos and the guy 110.

No, I mean, yes, you have to have a death drive for this type of activity, bro. It's not for us. We bring other types of impulses that are also dangerous.

Yes, I mean, death drive that or not answering at 7 in the morning. Your gentlemen. It's the same.

Just leave your cell phone and the one that is being seen by the edge of the hill of the chair when it gets into places where they don't go, there are people who have lost six hours, man. You were going on a journey of...

And even if you look down and you see it like that, you lose it, right?

It's just that the hills, humans go to them, for example, in the communications, these bastards, the generations, I don't know what they've done, that have several bridges, they do raves up there, man. I swear. The hill is very social, especially the Chupon one. I don't deny it, but suddenly they tell you,

there are two bridges. I'm like, what? Three bridges, four bridges, and you're like, what the hell are they doing up here? They look like the goonies doing stuff. But it's close to the Autonomous University of Nuevo León.

And there are gaps up there.

Yes, there are even dirt roads. And in fact, there's an ad that says, if you find a bear, what do you do? Lubricate it.

Lubricate it and kiss it. Kiss it, caress it.

And put on a condom.

Yes, and paranoia. And they open their backpack and it looks like this. And they run down the roads of Acme brand. I mean, here is a hair dryer, electric, a fan, oranges. It looks like they sell oranges because the boss gave him paranoia a mandarin shell at her. She has a lot of protein bars. I don't eat them on the bottom because I'm going to eat them on the top.

But yeah, you can always see the inexperienced.

You go up with that guy who is inexperienced and has a lot of bags as if they were balls. But they say, these are just protein liquids. He's very tired. You can fuck one up and you're done. Of course, soap for the hands. liquid of protein and no mas and I'm tired and I'm going to take a look at the ball at the liviana have on parallel man's second book

subi se por ejemplo contest por los hacer todo tu día pensando que te vas a fumar un porro ten la cima del mundo que es para ti la cima del mundo y no que se You're going to smoke a joint in the top of the world, which is the top of the world for you, and you forget the lighter, so you can... Ah! What a shock!

Did it happen to you?

Yes, of course.

You got there and...

No, what a shock!

Murphy's law, you know?

Shock.

What a shock, man.

Or get there and... I mean, people who throw garbage... They say up there is a dump. Not so much, there is already a sign that says that the garbage is not returned alone. So, I don't know how it will be returned because I am not going to return it.

I don't remember if someone told me that they went to the hill of this one here in Guadalupe,

and that you go up and that it is up to the ass of. But there are people who do pick up the trash. It's that in Guadalupe, all the part that we don't see from Cerro de la Silla, well, it's what is Juárez. And with that connects the blue lagoon, the blue pond. I mean, all those areas, not Juárez, Guadalupe too.

All that area that you cover and you go up a hill over here. is trip I'm going to I was like, is he from here? No, you have to know. I had to go to Matacanes. It was cool, but I have claustrophobia. I can fly. And there's a part where you get into a well with water. You have to go down and you can't go up. I remember that I was pulling a cable.

I was more of a kid. In the water, it's a very small stretch. And a guy got claustrophobia. a cable. way you know make you say better probably work it may be a close to close to mama come with me come with me but then I think he would eat what I hope you'll be able to handle me and then the money I'm not kidding. No, but, take away the name of what he said. Take it away. But it's a story of a comrade who got drowned and the swimming teacher saved him.

There in our sports...

But don't say names.

A young, very good friend of ours, he got stuck in the tub filter, the pump sucked him. So they practically took him out purple, lifeless. And the one who reanimated him was the swimming teacher. Years later, 20 years later, in the same sports school, there's this person who received the rescue getting in that shit, in the bathroom.

And next to him is the teacher who saved his life, and he's just like...

Go, I saved you for this, you bastard.

I saved you for this, you bastard.

What a story, man. I'm 20 years later and I saved you for this, you bastard.

I saved you for this, you bastard. But you earn that when you do activities like this. This is just taking away a cost from Costco. I'm gonna get up. Rio Ruidoso. You have to know that these guys are... These guys are... It's like skiing without knowing.

The band that wants to go to a class or just on the first day, they go on Friday. They arrive on Wednesday and have two days. No, skiing is for rich people. You have to know. With that...

You have to know how to go down. The classes first. Maybe the first trip is to learn. But don't ever think that you're going to... That's how Schumacher died.

How?

By skiing, man.

Schumacher didn't die in an accident?

No, that was Ray Hurston Sena. I made a great gossip. But no, they're going to sue us, right? Yes, right? That's a great gossip

What the fuck

From John Cena? I'm not going to say the brand But a friend That I'm not going to say Is from another nationality From a European country

From an area where It's not supposed to be to ski the French Ural Mountains. And it's a ski area. And there are rumors that people run in the ski area. I think it's the area where Schumacher was skiing. And that supposedly he kept his death so secret

because he was wearing a camera of a certain famous type on his helmet. secreto su muerte porque él llevaba una cámara de un cierto tipo famosa en el casco y que fue la que como que se termina ahí incrustando en su el casco no cumplía la función digamos por llevar esa cámara y que se supone que la cámara pagó millones de dólares para que se mantuviera en secreto yo creo que es más de una teoría o sea que la marca de la cámara pago mucho pago mucho para no estar involucrada en el accidente que le quitó la vida al en ese entonces mejor

piloto de la historia de la fórmula 1 y para muchos algunos sigue siendo aunque lewis hamilton lo superó en números pues no es negro

si así es esto pero entonces la cámara la cámara La cámara le quitó Hmm. the hat of Homero when he went to Conapo? Yes, I don't remember which one. The hat of the camera. Hey, I'm going to tell you one of these. It fills me with sadness, those guys who say I'm going to buy it in Costco and I'm going to get into the Pilón River but where are the waterfalls down there? The kayak.

The kayak goes up, the guy, all the way down the river, turned around, the guy gets the purple. kayak is Kayak or turkey? No, no, no. What I don't like about kayaking is that if you're fat, the balance is always going to be like, wait, me and my skull in a kayak. If you're fat, the activities outside are not for you. What do you need? Peanuts, dominoes, a table,

music from the cadets.

Horse's medley tacos.

Exactly. You recognize their limitations. tacos de medula de caballo exacto uno conoce sus limitaciones dejale los deportes extremos a los que tienen mas o menos ya la piel tostadona ya asi de que Jorge Campos vives en la playa, te sueles a la banana

el parapene exacto

ahorita esta una moda que a mi no me gusta que es el glamming glamming se divide en dos glam que es asi como el rock I don't like the glamming. Glamming is divided in two. Glam, which is like rock. Bling. Guararito. I don't like it.

I've gotten them to do an exchange twice, but right now those fucking transparent copulas where they see you naked, asleep. And it's not cool. You're in Arteaga.

Here, nobody is going to compare you. There's a bubble bath and you don't have a filter. There's no one. You're in Pelotas and your daughter is coughing and you're giving her a box that doesn't close. And you see the forest and a light turns on and there's the one who takes care of you. That's the one who does it. The guy was screwed, they marked him, and his face lights up and the guy was like this.

And you're like, hey, bastard!

He recorded you all afternoon.

That's where these places that rent you glamp glamping, outdoors, Montemorelos, full of orange nipples, around a river of branches that beautifies you. And no, there's always a raudel, a porphyry there, that's with a machete, looks like the lord of the hill. Or you're next to the river and you pass a diaper with poop. Yes, exactly. way Everything is broken, it's all wooden. When you go to one of these cabins with your friends, everything ends up going wrong.

You say, why don't we meet in someone's backyard?

Yeah, there's hot water.

The girls always get in a bad mood. One is hungry, the other isn't.

Someone always gets into an accident in the camps, and that always happens.

And then in El Manzano, here, those of us from Monterrey, are about to go up, but some still get a little drunk, and they go out through the ravine. They have to go in a helicopter for them.

Where it's not even safe to go up there. And we go for a roasted corn. And we go for...

I'll tell you a quick one. Once we went to a camp. I don't want to burn it. You'll find a way to tell it.

We went with some friends.

We got there at night. And I was like, I'm going to tell him that there was a person before he got married that was with me. We got there, each one in a couple. But it was very dark.

We went into the house. me. Open the door. Well, it's a woman, but with a very voluminous body. Let's say with obesity. Hello, strawberry, but chubby. What happened, girl? Well, at 4 in the morning. I'm from the cabin here.

My friends were well asleep. They don't have water. And I brought a gallon of water. Well, yes, come in, we were whistling, we were drinking, but we gave him water. What are you doing? Nothing, we're going to sleep.

Just talking, but nothing. My friends stayed to sleep.

Oh well.

I was already tired. He comes back. We continue, each with his wife.

I hit him again.

Hey, don't you have a cigarette? Or the old woman, snorting, smoking, grabbing her little faces. Hey, her little faces. The old woman started snorting and eating and everything.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was the person.

I didn't expect that, her little faces.

There were her little faces. Camping. It was a camping, it was a cabin and I told the girl I was with, please try to tell the girl, I don't want to look rude, to leave. Let's tell her, you know they're all going to sleep, it's 4.30 in the morning.

We wanted to follow her. We're going to turn off the lights and you're going to tell her, hey girl, they're going to sleep, I'm going to go. Hey girl, if you going to sleep now, I'm going to go. They leave... Hey girl, if you want, throw your cigarette out, because we're going to pay, because we're going to sleep. You go in now, you or your girl, I told Chalo. Yes, I'm going, love.

His girl leaves, and we all turn off the lights and he listens. No, my friends are going to sleep. But I don't know, I said, do you want to stay here and sleep with me? Do you want to stay here and smoke a cigarette with me? And I listened in. And right now the old woman I'm coming with is going to send the bitch to the edge. Yes, I'm going to sleep with my boyfriend.

Okay. Hey, I really liked you. Hey, I invite you to Mazatlán. Well, yes, I'm going to invite you to Mazatlan. I'm telling you, lowering my voice. I'm going to invite you to meet some...

Laura! Laura!

No, man.

Very big. Look, with five thousand pesos they put you in...

Laura!

And I just said, Sutanita! Get in! Dude, and the old lady?

I wanted her already.

And take her to my girlfriend? I mean, I was offering her... I'm going to be the other day I woke up, the girl wasn't very funny physically, she comes out of the cabin in the morning in a cabin you wake up very swollen, but the girl comes out of a truck, an x-trail and she goes, and it was true, her three friends were getting up some big cheeses, three assholes, I think they must have applied a disconnection of the shit, you know, let's go, the end of the cabin was culasos 500, no, we'll go, we'll get there. Zero roulettes. Yes. You know what?

I have this little bag that a friend gave me. I think it will be enough. And if not, I'll call her.

Tell her to come over.

Hey, but yes.

Three models of women with the little hat.

And then I saw her again in the marches. Well, I think she was asking for coexistence.

She says she fell asleep and her friends fell asleep.

4 in the morning.

She woke up at 4 in the morning and brought a party.

And a 2 against 1 you wouldn't have liked.

No, because it was something that was... I brought the same body as me.

It was a king refri.

It was a king refri refrigerator. It was a king-size refrigerator, full of stuff inside. I had a pallet, a rivet, a porterhouse, everything. I saw the guaraches and I said, Carlsen, there's no half gringo.

I said, fuck this shit, I'm going to get it. You weigh the urtens in rose, that's the good thing.

They were all navy. Baby, welcome to the jungle, Crystal. My dad was fired from Telmex. And he didn't get compensated. He stayed with the Chevy, they gave him the white Chevy that says Telmex. Do you know how it feels when people have to leave my dad at the UR with a car from Telmex, asshole? And everyone is like, what a good horror story.

Yeah, you wait for the chupacabras.

The chupacabras.

The cave of bats.

My brother got married to the Chilean. No, no, no. My brother is a handsome guy.

They want a real horror story Do you want a true story?

Do you want a true story?

My brother is...

Laura!

And now I have to talk to Jordi, the little boy.

His grandmother still doesn't sign the property change. I'm still giving her a loan. And the lack of lithium. I'm not giving her that. They stopped giving me. But I'm sure she'll sign I'm not giving it to him, they stopped giving it to me on the internet. But I'm sure he's going to sign it for us.

That's a good story.

Do you want a horror story?

Imagine it like that.

Do you want a horror story? Dad sells light transformers and one of them burned. It happens, but on the line there's no meter.

Imagine a true horror story, bro. to get a pass but in the line

nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing nothing I was like, I hope so. But when it's not, when it's not. I'm going to be a dad, but I'm a woman. Hey, I was lucky once I went to the apple tree and my sister stayed in a cabin. She had already told you that. And I stayed in a cabin, in a

tent. And my sister told me Do you have lemons? By WhatsApp? No, it was by BlackberryPin. And I said, yes. What's up? No, I report blackberry pin. He let me see. Yo, semi so much. He's tossed Oh, you're a la mascara Jason, but like a casal. Yeah, I'm a

heavy man.

He may follow you a lot.

You might buy it on.

Oh, yeah.

I'm a mascara Jason. Let's go. Yes, I got a bed. Yeah, I get a lot kick their asses. I get to the house at night.

That's so cool.

I put on the mask and the girls start screaming. I forgot that besides the 9 girls, there were 32 students from Monterey Tech.

They put on a bergiza.

They were about to put on a bergiza and Jason... Jason! Jason! The guys come in and say, Oh, son of a bitch, brother of one of you! Jason begging them not to put a cap on him.

They didn't do anything to me. I had to go back from the cabin to my little country house. So I was already with the ass that they were going to put a cap on me for being funny. I put on Jason's mask. And I start, well I put on Jason's mask. It was night time, I already knew the way. But since my eyes couldn't see, I just did it.

Imagine, Jason, I start... I was going to say, Rodrigo, what's the name of the director? Lalo. Lalo. Lalo. No, no, no. Lalo. Hector. Hey, Lalo. Yes? What?

What?

What are you talking about?

That compartment in the head.

Shh, shh, shh.

No, no, no. I'm walking and I'm like, shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh.

In the woods, man. And imagine if I were Jason. And suddenly, shh, shh, shh, and he's like, oh, man, he's not here. Jason, Jason gets lost, man. And he starts shh, shh, shh, and Jason starts to worry. And when Jason takes off his mask, he says,

holy shit, where is he? And you start to worry. And Jason starts to go, Jason, pedorro que fui, wey. Porque me iban a verguear allá y de regreso no dir con mi casa, wey. Welcome to the camp.

Pero si, wey, si pasó, es real esa historia.

Jason se perdió y a Jason lo iban a verguear.

No, lo de Jason heredé a tu mamá.

Sí, wey.

Sí.

Sí. Sí.

Sí. I love it because I come from Jason You get characters from the forest I come with my traveler and he says why are you taking so long? I'm alone I said I got lost There's nothing here, it's the apple And suddenly you hear And then you hear it, it must be a deer, there are no bears here

It's close And you just heard him from afar.

Hey, how are you?

I'm going to pee.

Here in the forest,

several men are sucking each other.

They come out from everywhere because they lose their moms and they can appear in the forest too.

Rafi says that once he told me, Rafi, once... Let's mark him. Mark him Rafi because he has a story. It's late. I'm going to leave it for another time. Rafi told me that he had a girlfriend in the Huasteca.

He took her to the forest and said there's no one here. He said he opened everything and he came to a place in the Huasteca that was a swingers place. He said he went so far

that where he got to, he got hit by cars.

Like a rave here.

Everyone against everyone.

And when he got back he said, no, I left my wife. I think Rafi, whatever, why call him? Because I don't think he likes to go up hills and stuff. They say he took his kids to the melting point parking lot. That's the best. I'm going to I hope you liked camping stuff. If the mountain doesn't go to mole... The mole goes to the mountain. It's for...

It's for smoking.

No, this is...

No, you put it in the...

In the base of the coal.

Yes, it's not for that.

Is it a barbecue fan?

Look.

And here it is.

It's like a pipe.

Yeah, that's what it's for.

That's enough, man.

I'm going to make you some Doritos, man.

Doritos make the job.

See you, gentlemen. Have a great day. I hope you liked this climbing the mountains. Enjoy your life. Enjoy it. Enjoy your life. Enjoy it.

Don't get into trouble.