DE NOVELA I FT. VANESSA LABIOS 4K

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Hello, you filthy whores that pay rent. Today I'm talking to you from my kitchen, fuckers. And the people that decide that, dude, your kitchen is shit, I don't give a fuck. I'm going to take it down and I'm going to do it again. I'm going to put a lot of things in it, I'm going to put color in it and I'm going to put the shit in the guest I have an apology for not having done...

well, because they didn't have a show last week but the truth is that I was very pissed off but I hope you like this new era go fuck yourself This new era... What the fuck, man? Fuck off. Nelly's bitch told me that if we do another season and we tell them, no, I don't give a fuck about seasons, the podcasts that do seasons should be canceled.

You don't do seasons, you just put a green light, a fucking white armchair and you say that you changed seasons. It doesn't change, it's still the same shit and it's still the same assholes watching your fucking three3 show. It's not over yet. No, it's not over, dude. I'm telling you so you don't call me a son of a bitch

because it's going to hurt me because this is my apartment and if you say it looks fucked up, you're fucked up, asshole. Today, I came in a sack because I have a great guest. Now we designed it to be the office. I was on my way to Tlalpan and I woke up a little bit. And with you, Vanessa Labios, 4K! Oh, sister, how are you?

Hey, it looks like you're going to read the Bible.

Yes, I'm going to read it to you to see if you rebuild yourself.

Oh no, my dear.

Because it's a shame that it's like that. Cheers, my love. We're drinking a pineapple juice, sister. Don't think we're drinking a little too much. The pineapple is yellow, you idiot. I'm an altonica, you idiot. Remember I told you I'm an altonica. In fact, I'm dressed in green. Hey, are you getting a laser?

No, I have hair.

You should get a laser. Oh, what a bitch. See, see how it is, sisters.

That's why I didn't want to come because they told me you were very buffoons and for this show. You're going to kick me from the beginning. No, a little kick. A little kick. A little push. No, not a kick. Now that I'm a little push. Let's see. One, two, three.

There you go.

You felt everything, didn't you, sister? I felt everything.

Are you ashamed? Are you ashamed? A little, sister. Not that big, but you won't be left without hunger. Look, sometimes it doesn't matter if you're ashamed or not, what matters is how they treat you. Because there are guys who treat you well, and they don't hurt you.

No, just pain. But there are guys who treat you well, but with their tongue.

Yes, yes, yes, that's very cool. That's a tasty toy. Please, send a message to everyone who has an average of a shit, because we're not in the right place right now. Well, you can do that. I thought you brought me to do the CEO of your new apartment, because it's awesome. Awesome!

It's spectacular. It's beautiful. Next time we can... I look expensive. No, not with that Sara jacket. You still have one of Christian Dior. No, I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going bitch, but okay. We were talking about how she also worked in Tlalpan, like all those bitches. Wendy, Karina, Paola, all of them have worked there. We all worked in Tlalpan, sister. They should be... Tlalpan is not... They should put the stars like in Hollywood. Oh, bitch!

Yes, the names of Karina. Instead of stars, they should put the names of Karina. Instead of stars, they should have a penis. Karina, like this. You know she has a small dick. Wendy, with some balls.

No, Wendy.

Paula?

Oh, my daughter.

No, God is very bad. God is very bad because I feel like you're going to want this. I'm going to put some balls and some dicks so you don't have to hide them.

No, and it's true. I'm going to tell you, it's true, sister. Look, I don't know why, but on Adrere, they make you more beard, more hair, more ass. Do you understand me? And then when you get with some old people, you're lying like this with the old people. Look, it looks like a Titanic. We hug them like this, to the old people. Oh, my daughter, and you, no, my love, wait.

I always have a whore

have to carry lubricant condoms in her bag and a rattle.

Rattle?

Of course, in case she grabs you in the middle of the night with the man, my love, I'll be right back.

Oh, I didn't know that. And a powder so Lisa Simpson can keep looking at you. No, but not a whore. A whore. Whores don't get a beard. You're a whore.

Oh, what a bitch!

Cheers to that, brother. I love it. I love it.

I have to quickly locate you. Just turn around and look down and you have the answer.

That's what gives me courage. I was looking at myself in the mirror,

I just showered and I saw myself and as I'm getting back to harmonizing, I feel like a fish.

Fish.

Then when I saw myself in the mirror, I saw my tits. Oh, mamacita. I went around my whole body exploring it.

It's giving me a lot of disgust.

Take the HIV so you can see me good. When I went like this touching my body, I saw that hanging on me that I didn't have to hang on to, and it wasn't the hair or the earrings. It was the mother's balls. It makes me mad because it doesn't match my body.

It doesn't match.

I mean, look at me.

Take it off. Take it off.

What do you put on me?

No, none.

None? None.

You're as good as you are to wash cars.

Wash?

Wash cars. I'm not, I'm pregnant, I have my cesarean. She thought you were a biological woman.

I am.

But you have myopia and astigmatism.

The thing is that I... You have myopia and astigmatism. Oh, bitch. I'm a case among 100 women that I have a hanging matrix. I have my matrix hanging. In fact, the doctor, when I went, he said,

why do you have your matrix hanging? I was like, I don't know, doctor, I'm very worried about this. Very worried. And the ovaries too. And the fallopian tubes on the outside. Everything. I showed you and you told me, how weird. How rich.

How weird. How weird vagina.

Very weird.

I had never seen one of these.

It gave me a lot of disgust. Would you take it off? No, because I'm starving. Of course, men already like that. Not everyone. They're very dirty, very ugly, and they're looking for this kind of thing. I mean, they're barbarians. I'd like you to give me some advice on how to let go more. Well, not let go more, because I'm already very loose. But I don't grab it that much, you know?

Well, because you're stupid, sister. You're poor. Now, nowadays, I've told you that you flirt with the mobile bank. You don't even flirt with your face or your body. I'm going to be a mobile. Mm-hmm. Ni siquiera se coquetea ni con la cara ni con el cuerpo, con tu banca, móvil, con el chacal. Cuando tú llegas con un chacal, bebé, tú llegas...

Ah, te cuenta que yo soy el chacal. Ah, te cuenta que tú eres el chacal. Y yo traigo mi celular aquí. Ajá. Y vengo corriendo. Come here. Sandricela, you idiot! I don't know your name yet, idiot. I'm going to ask you.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, action.

Oh, that's good.

Come here.

What's up, my love?

What's your name?

Sandricela Prieto Rico. Nice to meet you. I'm Prieto de Padre and Prieto de Amadre. My love. I'm like, oh my God. Oh, you're Joto. I'm not Joto. I'm sorry. I laughed a lot at what you were doing. You're so good.

Look, my mobile bank... I don't know where to press. Look, you see how many zeros there are? Here I press it. Oh, my love, how nice. Oh, Jair! I'm going to stop!

Look, Jair, when he wants to get on the role of the dude,

yes, sister, yes. That's why my mom and dad bought him for 13 years. I swear, when he gets on the role of the dude, Jair, Jair. Are you going to like it or not?

Yes, I'm going to like it, sister. I flirt with the guys with my mobile bank. But how do you do it? my I always come with the dude and say, I can't move him here, I don't know what's going on. So many zeros and they say, I'll help you, where were you, baby? And from there I grabbed the dude.

Not even with the body and the face.

How many do you give them? Remember that the jackal is the jackal. First the jackal, then the jackal and finally the jackal.

Even if I'm starving, the jackal make you three meals. Of course, baby. That's how it should be. What a good teacher you are, the Instructor. That's how you should be, and you are. I feel like you're one of those quiet girls who eats quietly, but eats a hundred times. No, man. Lately, I've why he changed, because in the other apartment he had a lot of bad vibes.

How many t-shirts did you not wear?

In the other apartment I did wear afters, I was the father. Not here, because it's my home. It's very sacred. I'm only going to wear from Saturday from 2pm to 6pm. The men who want to pick me up here are invited.

I'll give them the location later. I'm from the area of San Francisco. I'm from the area of San Francisco. I'm from the area of San Francisco. I'm from the area of San Francisco. I'm from the area of San Francisco.

I'm from the area of San Francisco.

I'm from the area of San Francisco. Cheers! ¿Vas a llegar a vieja y te van a querer echar? ¿Y vas a tener que pagar? Ay, sí. Ah, entonces no es asco, hermana. Tenían ganas.

Mira lo que pasa.

Te daba lástima.

No, no, lástima. Yo tenía más... No, ellos tenían más lástima de mí. Porque no tenía para mi renta, culera. Entonces, haz de cuenta que yo también trabajo por las páginas. I was told by some old people. I was at home and I said... How old were they? Like... The man was older than the woman. The man was like 78 years old.

Fuck you, where did you visit them? At the Lins?

At the Lins Pantheon.

They told you to go to the Ouija board, fucker. Fuck you.

What a fucker. No, but there's no age to feel warmth. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I don't pay for that. I have other data and... Chat GPT tells me Jair's life.

And there it is.

The payments and the transfers.

Everything.

It shows all the accounts. Do you think Chat GPT knows you're...

A whore?

Yes, he does. Ask him.

Ask him. Do you think the other day he said, he's a man? Ask him. I'll tell you the story of the old men. First, ask him.

I want you to ask him.

Hello, how are you?

Hello, I'm fine, thank you.

Hey, I was going to ask you something very fast. Do you know Vanessa Labios 4K?

Yes, I've seen her on social media. She has a very particular style and she usually does beauty and lifestyle. What were you thinking? I think it's either man or woman.

Yes, I want to know if it's man or woman.

Yes, Vanessa Labios 4K identifies as a woman. In fact, her content talks about empowerment, beauty, and her identity.

No, then she's wrong because she doesn't have a beauty voice.

Yes, she doesn't have a beauty voice. In fact, she doesn't even talking to Chatty Petit.

No, it's just that Chatty Petit once said in a live stream of mine, this is a man who makes content and thinks he's a woman. That's what he said in a live stream.

But hey, did he lie?

I had. Super lied?

Because I'm a woman. Because you're a woman. You're a woman. Something's hanging. But I already threw it for the worms and it didn't fall. I just got my head.

We were in the old people's talk. In the old people's talk.

So who was the old man?

But as elegant as if we were talking about business. That we are empowered while we are a bunch of naked. So you realize that they called me because I have...

1986.

Oh, girl, you're already seeing that you're getting a fag, just in case they bring me with the zip lock.

Why?

You know what you're saying, that they came to a hotel and had zip lock horrors. You? Oh, girl, I did have them, but tenía, pero cállense, cabrona. Eran de un cliente.

Sí, ya se dice así.

Claro.

Eran de un cliente. Bueno, entonces me habló el viejo y me dijo, mira, lo que pasa es que yo tengo 78 años y mi mujer es un poco más joven. Dijo, y a mí ya no se me para. Pues era obvio. es como meter un bombón a una alcancía. ¿Cómo? Pues como metes un bombón a una alcancía...

Pues la rompes y luego la metes.

No, pendeja. ¿Tú crees? Así me dijo el viejo.

Yo soluciono, yo soluciono.

Ay, no estábamos tan... Pues me dijo, es como meter un bombón a una alcancía. Dijiste que ya no se me para. I told my wife, look, honey, in a trio, and because you are a little older, I charge a lot. I used to pay for my rent, sister. In Tlalpan, I was alone.

But how much did you charge?

Well, approximately, the truth, honestly, and without you getting offended, without you getting angry, and even though I have this face and this body, I charged 7,000 pesos.

You said face and a body. The Simplot is killing you. I said it!

I thought you were going to say...

I said it!

Even if I have this face and this body, I'll charge 7,000 pesos. Dollars. Because we're millionaires right now, but we're...

Euros.

You're a fool!

I've traveled, even if you think I'm a whore. Bitcoins. Sorry, you don't have a visa.

Oh, you're lying!

You do?

You do?

I do.

Oh, no, that can't be possible. Of course. Even this whore of Tlalpan has a visa. That's not true, man! Oh, no, how dare you! What's up with Trump? I just went to Miami to be in awards. Our thing.

Yes, yes, I saw. I thought it was a green screen because I thought you didn't have a visa or money.

Like me.

So we have to keep talking.

About business.

Okay.

What? I'm super excited.

I swear I'm asking for another glass to throw that anulo.

I want the ass to die.

Oh, what a bitch, no. And throw me a knife and throw it at the origami.

What a bitch.

Well, then let's keep talking. So I spoke to him and I said, well, I'm going to charge you so much, 7,000 pesos. Yes, I'll wait for you here. Sister, at that moment he told me, yes, I'll wait for you. But first he made me a questionnaire.

Obviously I was paying for my rent. I wasn't going to say no. I told him everything. So I got ready, I got pretty, they called me, we're already in the hotel, we arrived, I got off the Uber.

First I didn't go to the subway

because I lived far away. Okay. And well, sister, you have to save. Yes, you have to save. So when I was more or less close, I asked for an ID and the Uber. To see you more, bitch, to get here.

Oh, yes.

Okay, I'm going to say it like that.

And your sister.

Exactly.

I arrived, oh, sorry, sisters. I wasn't going to get there like that. Oh, sisters, no. a ciudadano. Entonces llegué en perra, ya llegué, me bajé del Uber y ya, mi amor, me das para el Uber. Ay, porque el Uber es aparte, hermana.

Sí, claro. O sea, eso es puta, pero no pendeja. Eso no sabía, eh. Eso no sabía. No, no, mija, pues tú me debes lo del Uber. Ok. En perra, porque viene de bien lejos. I'm not going to introduce you. You're going to fuck him. No, it's for you because he's a woman, just like you. You're active or passive? Super passive. I'm sure I'm not going to have this armchair right now that sucked him in the ass.

It's inter.

Inter, there are no inters. Heteropassive. Oh, I say I'm inter. You're an asshole, they don't exist? Fucking asshole. Oh no! Do heteropassive people exist? No, let's see.

Those are mayates.

Yes, I know what I'm saying.

That doesn't exist.

What is heteropassive that gave him a concussion and took an HIV just like you? And he got the spirit of a mayate. It's like gays. Los gays, okay. Los homosexuales. Los homo sapiens. Homosexuales, homo sapiens. Ajá.

Hermana.

Yo creo que tú te quedaste en los homo sapiens, como que no.

Ay, y yo así era.

Me evolucionaste.

Yo así en homo sapiens. Ay perra, cómo te atreves, yo me siento una mujer, mira.

Pues no.

Mira, look. And what do you do with your money? Everything, everything. But a mallete that is seeing me at 01800, I'm looking for a new mallete. My mobile bank is just in procedure, but there it goes. So I got there, I paid the man, when I got there, realize that they were my grandparents. And your mom? Grandma, I'm your granddaughter.

Grandma, I tu nieta. Ay, hermano. Abuelita, soy tu nieta, literal.

Ay, no, hermano. Cuando llego digo, padre mío, ¿qué voy a hacer?

Ajá.

Pues, llego y me baraje a los de 500.

Ajá.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco. Dije, mi renta.

Ajá.

Señor, me ha olvid, you scared him. And with a little scare, he dies and you go with the money. What did he die of? A heart attack?

But when the man came, I opened the door, he came out on a cane. He came out like this.

You said, well, at least the bitch won't get me in the cane.

I even wanted to sing the song, One pound of hip, hip,

Two pounds of hip, hip, Three pounds of hip. De cadera, de cadera. Ay, no, hermana. Pues ya salió el señor y me abrió y dije, ay, padre mío. Dije, pues ahora qué voy a hacer yo con la señora. Porque vi a la señora de esas señoras, pues, del rancho con su rebozo. Esperando pues para prender el fumo y hacer una rica sopa. Qué abiertas, no? Qué man, a friend of your husband.

And what am I, stupid?

A man.

A man with long hair.

A rocker, dude.

A rocker. A bitch.

She's like this. No, bitch.

But I'm talking about...

She's a bitch.

Are you sure she has a heart or a tattoo? Hey, yes, yes, you're a rocker.

And you think I do? Well, I asked the man, you bitch, asshole. I asked him the same thing. And because you didn't say a name, he said, I'm very jealous. And you are men and women.

Women because you have women's stuff, and men because you have the hanging chili, which makes me angry and I want to cut myself.

I mean, the man said it very nicely, but I feel like in his head it's like he's a monster.

Ay, cheperra!

But that's why I win, baby. I've traveled and I have a visa. Ay, mendeja, but it's going to be like this. It's going to to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. But, well, whatever. I have a visa.

Cheers.

Production, can you fix me a drink?

You're going to Xochitl. And then I'll tell you that I got there with the old folks. So, he told me, I already paid you, so now, whatever I told you, chincha.

Whatever you came for. Fold all my suitcase. Fold all my suitcase.

Oh, no, but even if you see me as a maid, but if you know how to do the moñoñongo, I move rich, sis. I move rich, look.

You know it.

You know it.

They are experiences.

They are years.

They didn't want to hire me as... I'm going to sing like the one who dances. Who? I wanted the lead, Liz May is just a dancer in the play. No, but you are Liz May. I wanted to be Gardenia, bitch. That's why I moved my hips. I'm going to drink yours. Sorry, beautiful. How do you identify yourself?

As a woman. What are you looking at?

I'm looking at a bull.

Oh, bitch!

You're a whore! No, sister, I really love you. No, really love it. I'm used to being told everything.

I'm not pretty, really.

You are pretty.

No, I'm not. I'm going to tell you something. When I'm not alive, I'm told pretty things.

Don't talk to me like that. No, no, no. That's why I have a GPTIC chat, so you can tell me pretty things.

Sure. Tell me pretty things and then I'll tell you.

What a beautiful hair you have today, Vanessa.

I don't know, I see you as spectacular, I see you radiant. I feel like you're a very empowered woman. I feel like you have the sun in your face, but no, it's your body. I mean, you have everything very well proportioned. Your cock that hangs, it looks divine, my love. I love it, I love it, I love how you're coming today. Don't lie to me, tell me the truth. Well, fucking sir, son of your fucking mother, fucking bathroom, get the fuck out of here,

I'm not falling off the roof like you're coming, fucking dog, what you should be doing is filling my fucking gas tank, because you're a fucking mechanic. Cheers! That's me, bro! Are we friends or not?

Of course, man.

Rule!

Of course, we're friends.

We're friends, not clowns, assholes. I'm like that too. I like it when people call me an asshole. It's the joke. If they say, oh, you're cool, you look handsome, you're super hot, I want to fuck you.

Because they say that a lot. I'm like, ay, que padre, y te ves guapo, y estás super rico, y quiero cogerte, porque me ponen mucho eso.

Porque tienes el ojo de rosita.

Sí, estás, güey, bien vergon y todo el pedo.

Y tú así, y el ojo percudido. Ay, que no, no le estén echando mentiras a mi hermana.

Ya se lo vi ahorita en el baño y no lo tiene rosita. I

Can see no me I go laser look at the very other safety

Just a woman

When I

See

No, nada. No tengo. No tienes pelo. Tientale, tientale. No tienes dinero, no tienes novio, no tienes nada. Nada, estoy sola en el mundo. Sola. Dame la viga para ahorcarme, hermana.

Quítate fuera porque adentro va a ser un pedo con la policía. Estás diciendo, ¿de qué se murió? Pues la Jota está ansiosa y estresada. Se mató sola. Me has mirado a los ojos Cajera de Sara. Exactly. Yes? Thank you. Of the ladies in the Bible. Aha. I'm Jehovah's Witness. I'm going to start knocking on the doors.

Look, brother Sara, to make you look more like Mrs. de Sara, I'm going to lend you my teeth. Yes, sister.

But I don't have a hole.

No, you do. These are not from there, you idiot. You're a a trickster! Of course! Look, now you're going to look more like Sara's lady.

Vanessa, but you do have the holes?

Yes, but this one is like yours. Why?

It burst. Because the hanging earrings, like my bitch, were heavy, sister. Now you look more like Sara's lady. Sara's lady. Sara's lady. Let's see, I'm here for a product. I'm just going to buy this. product is a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit

of a little bit of a little bit This bitch wants me to get naked. Cheers. Cheers, beautiful. I'll keep talking about the old man, because you didn't let me talk about the bitch with so much love. Fucking bitch. So, about the old man.

It was like this. He said, I already paid you, so now you have to do what I say. The lady with her little mustache, covering her boobs.

Mama Coco.

Yes, like that.

I'm going to fuck you, Mama Coco. you I said, Well, take off your clothes, he said. And I said, of course. I started to take off my clothes and they saw my stiff, firm body in its place. And they said, The old man, oh, you are so delicious, mamacita. Although he already had it percudito, sister, but it doesn't matter, the old man succeeded. Well, already old, but blind, blind, infernal.

Already blind. I almost, almost was almost crying. So I laid him down and I said, Ma'am, open your feet.

And the lady didn't want to?

No, no, because they had just showered. But the lady got dressed again, and she wanted to open her feet, and as soon as she wanted to open her feet, I closed them! And in a moment, boom, she opened them.

And I was like, oh my God! And then, boom, she opens them. And I was like... You know, you get mentalized.

You have to stop.

I grabbed the man's balls and touched him. I had to touch men's things so that he would stop. When I finally managed to stop, I said, there you go, lady. When she felt it, she just did...

Oh! I feel like I'm going to do it to her. And the lady stopped her. Oh, my daughter. Yes, because she's watching Switch. Please, never. She'll make you like this.

And the poop will come out like a poop.

Never. Oh, my daughter. Every 8 days you have parties. I have other data. Chat, chit, chit. And then when the lady felt all the cucumber, chachifiti, y luego cuando la señora sintió todo el pepinagüe, aflojó todo. Claro.

Y empezó, y me decía, dale más, mija, dale más.

Ay, ¿mi hija te decía mija?

Sí, me decía, dale más, chiquita, dale más. Ay, yo sentía que me estaba hablando mi abuelita, te lo juro a Dios. Y mientras el señor que estaba haciendo... abuelita te lo prometió. I said, oh, I'm paying the $7,000. I didn't think about anything else but I said, I already paid my rent. I already paid my rent.

Another month of rent.

Of course.

No one is going to take me out of my apartment again. So I said, oh, I'm done.

A month sleeping on the mattress again.

Of course, because I was used to the floor. Fucking bitch. Even if it's a whore, I have a visa. I'm going to do it because the bitch is loving me, loving the bitch. And then I already took a shower, sister, and all the gentlemen were comfortable and told me, we will continue to talk, daughter. Until today they have not spoken to me, I do not know if already.

But the lady was happy.

I'm going to tell you, they were my grandparents. I gave them your contact.

Oh, brother, cheers!

And in peace, rest. Do I play wood? There is no wood in this, there is only marble and white gold. But something old. Let's see, take your nail out to play wood. Let's see, and now, we are talking

many very fine things. Now, please, can you tell me when they swallowed your shit?

Of course. Look, that day, a man hired me from the street.

I think you told me. Was it in Capri?

No, no, no. How dare you? That was in Dubai. Okay, in Dubai. When I was working in Dubai, in the high offices of Dubai, a man came...

You were mistaken with Sol León, I'm going to be able to do it. I'm going to be able to do it. I'm going to be able to do it. I'm going to be able to do it. I'm going to be able to do it. I'm going to be able to do it. I'm going to be. A jeque. A jeque. A jeque. A delicious beard. Wow. Delicious. Wow, friend.

When suddenly... I'm craving too much.

I got in his car bathed in gold. Wow.

He took me to his apartment. I feel like he's a suro. He had doors.

And I was like, what the hell? A big car bathed in gold.

When we got to his house... And he had bodyguards.

Of course! They took me to the roof. Like in the movie... Pretty Woman! Ta-da-da-da-da! Like that.

Julia Roberts. They took me to his apartment in Dubai.

Okay.

The cup bathed in gold.

Hmm.

When I left the bathroom,

the man who came out naked.

Wow.

When he saw my cerote with corn, he gave me a piece of corn.

Because you're Mexican, 100%.

Yes, yes, I ate corn.

Your corn? Bathed in gold. In Dubai there's corn, friend, can you give me the contact? Because I feel like there que no hay. Sí, sí hay, hermano. En la esquina de donde está el gran hotel, uno grandote, abajo vende un señor elote, ahí, con chile de que pica, y del que no pica, con queso. Pero

del queso no, del que sabe a plástico, del otro desboronado. Sí, desboronado, sí, el queso fresco. I'm going to go. Delicious. Well, I ate my corn and it didn't make me digest. That's why when I said miserote, there was a piece of corn. So when the old man came in, I didn't excite him, not my body, not my face. The normal.

What excited him?

What?

Miserote, you fool. How do you think? When he saw him in his bathroom bathed in gold, he said, I can. And I said, how can I? He said, I can. He got up, I swear, he got up, he grabbed the hardest cerote

and then I, raw.

Mmmmm.

Oh, my daughter. I'm going to tell you. He grabbed the candy with chocolate and vanilla sprinkles and he grabbed it and he said, Om. I'm going to go latte con chocolate a cheese fast a by me yeah, I mean yeah, you know I got a lot of

Fesco the jalapeno de pesco so He loves a bento con el cerro tenenos dijo cuando se vino el viejo novales o a la taza Yo lo vi DJ y luego me quería besar el hijo de perra le dije a la verga I said, and then I wanted to kiss the son of a bitch, I said, fuck you. I washed my body and left. I couldn't stand being with that old man

because I said, this old man is very pig.

No, no, no.

I mean, in my life, I would need a piece of shit.

No, no.

I mean, it's normal. I feel like... It's a fetish anymore. I was talking about it the other day. It's not a fetish anymore. I feel like it's a fart, man.

There are also people who like the smell. I had a client...

What kind of smell?

The client came and said...

I like the smell.

Yes, but a smell, I think, tasty, rich, succulent. That man said he had his wife porque contrató a una trans. Y la trans nos llegó y nos platicó que el cliente le dijo que él contrataba a su esposa, o contrataba a que él tenía a su esposa y le decía a su esposa que durara tres, cuatro días sin bañarse. Y la esposa ya sabía que le prendía el olor. Cuando ella sabía que ya andaba lady cut her hair and she was like,

oh my God. And the man, he got mad and did everything. And the man said to the trans, you have a great body, you're very pretty, delicious, but the only thing you lack is that you smell, because you're very clean.

Oh no, man.

I mean, no, I don't. Imagine, any human being is very... I like the smell, but it's like... Some people like the smell of legs. Oh, no, what do I do? To be marinated 365 days a year and to be taken out. And they're toriented.

And you, daddy, where were you? Oh, no, no, no. Once I got a mayate like this. With the feet? I was like marinating him all day in those tennis shoes. Oh, my daughter! When the old man arrived, I went with him to the hotel,

because I was in a hotel, and I told him, son, take off your clothes, take everything off. No, not the shoes, my daughter, how do you think the shoes? Like this, because I like to see his feet. Because I honestly do want to see a man's feet. But pretty, not with nails. So the old man said, no, no, no.

I said, yes, my daughter, and he was nervous. I told him to take them off, otherwise he would jump out of the room. He had no choice but to take off his shoes. I told him to take them off. I'm going to get the dog. I'm going to get the dog. I'm going to get the dog. I'm going to get the dog.

I'm going to get the dog.

I'm going to get the dog. I'm going to get the dog. I'm going to a man. I'm gonna be a man. I'm gonna be a man. I'm gonna be a man. I'm gonna be a man. I'm gonna be a man. I'm gonna be a man. I'm gonna be a man. I'm gonna be a man.

I'm gonna father of God. That day, the old man torced me. All my demons came out.

Disgusting.

All my demons. Oh no. And that's how it is.

Pause, I'm going to pee.

Yes.

Are you going to suck it or not?

Oh, what a bitch. How much are you going to pay me first in advance? No, come on, let's go out on the channel. Yes, brother, I learned to charge in advance. Because, look, when I was little, they did it to me, I was very stupid.

They did it to you?

Yes. I, my daughter, come on, I'll pay you right now, man, come on, get me out of here, my daughter, you're not seeing how I have it. And I, well, yes, the old man, very fat, and a chili.

My daughter, all I it in a big bite. You, your friend's balance is exhausted. Honey, I'm going to... No, I'm always going to go. Don't worry. You have to turn off your line again, or you're going to be screwed. Okay, yes, I'm going.

Uh-huh, exactly. That's right.

You're already taking the classes. I'm already taking the classes. You're going to be a better whore. Let's go, bitches! Let's go, bitches! Let's go, bitches! Can you pass me a tequila, please? I don't have any more. It's okay, because you're getting drunk and you're becoming straight. No, it's not true.

You're becoming straight.

You're...

Terian.

Terian, yes.

Bitch, bitch, bitch, giraffe, everything.

Everything.

You get drunk really fast. I don't. Giraffes, everything. Everything. Do you get drunk really fast?

Me neither.

Dude, I could drink a whole tequila. I like it a lot. I'm a tapas guy and all the stuff. I'm a heart tapas guy. In fact, I love Guadalajara, I'll tell you why. Because that's where I started looking.

My Guadalajara, I'll always say Guadalajara in my office. Of course.

That's why I came with my secretary. I told you, I'm going to be fine. I'm already get my hair cut Look at your secretary I'm getting the pedals up I want you to cut my hair, I saw you I saw you In Vallarta, an old man came with a huge package

And I said, this guy must have a huge dick And then my eyes shined I said, let's see, go ahead Discuss with this monster I said, well, if it is When he tookcuss with this monster, I don't know what. Well, I said, well, then if it is.

When he took it out, it was a hernia of this size.

Oh, no way!

Hernia! I said, how did the lady get there? Like the onion, the chili, look at that green.

No, chili!

Like that.

And I said, how did the man get to that degree of leaving a hernia starts small, you operate it and that's it. Well, it was a big deal. Well, not to be so long, the old man paid me twice as much as the client who called me was supposed to pay me.

And he brought me...

Five thousand pesos.

Two hours sucking hernia. No way.

Hernia.

That's why he doesn't know how to use a knife. I don't know, he relaxed I fell asleep. I woke up after being with my snout in my stomach. Worse than when you put on a little trick, smelling keys to see what they smell like. I was like this. And the old man...

with the belly, not even the hernia. And I... And the old man... I was taking off a little and I didn't feel my tongue. Where are you going, bastard?

No, mom!

Oh, bitch! I said, son of a bitch! No, until I got up with my snout tucked in and a fall right here under my tongue. I said, that's it. Honey, I'm leaving. No, you said all night.

It was almost dawn.

Oh, Vanessa, but you should have said, I'm tired, but the old man was very comfortable. Oh, those snores! I said, no, enough. Enough. I mean, the man did pay me. And you left? I left, quietly, quietly. I got dressed, and I closed the door and left.

But I didn't tell Robin Hood. I didn't want to, but I said no. The old man, I don't know what he's going to do. Did you steal? No, sister, I was scared. Yes, because then they will put your steps. No, I was afraid because then they would go back. Sure, because they already know where you are. Exactly.

And apart I'm going to tell you one thing, nowadays you don't know who you mess with. And you're going to say, he looked like a albanil, but maybe he was the son of someone that you don't know.

Exactly, and you're going to be worth shit. Exactly. So no. Have you messed with a famous heterosexual? Yes, but I'm not going to tell you who. No, no, no, I've also messed with a famous heterosexual. Oh, that's not true. Yes, look, I've messed with actors, singers, football players.

I think football players are the most pigs.

Oh yes, and chickens.

I mean heterosexuals who like to be passive. No, they like to be screwed.

Yes. I disguise it. Look, sister, I'm the whore, the usual, the bad-mouthed, and the whore comes to talk fine things, and the boss, very ordinary, imagine, nothing but education,

that's where we show that the ordinary does not give education.

No, how do you say it, sister? That the ordinary does not... That the vulgar does not give the ordinary. That the vulgar does not give the ordinary, sister. Because I will be a bitch of Tlalpan,

or whatever you want to call me.

A bitch, a naca, a bitch, a whore.

But the boss is more naca, because she talks more naco, the whore.

And start cleaning, bitch.

Oh yeah, what are we going to cook, whore, because I'm hungry, fucking bitch.

Did you bring the pig's trump? As I know that you are, well, you just kill the hunger, you're seeing what to eat and stuff. We're going to make today, prepared maruchan, very tasty, because I know you like maruchan. Do you like maruchan?

I love it, for fuck's sake. So... And the cucumber, pass it to me right away.

I'll pass it to you right away, what we need is maruchan, cucumber, I'm going to make a rosa. Is it washed? You have such strong tits. Oh no, the avocados were brought for the dontro. Oh my daughter, they are bigger than mine. But we are going to fix it. Look at this.

A chili? A chili.

A chili morron.

And a chili de cotron.

And a chilon.

And a chilon. This is a chili of... And a chili of... And a chili of... This is a chili, and this is a chili. Of course. Serrano chili, because we like it spicy. Of course. Lemon, tomato and onion.

I was on my cell phone and I was seeing that there were a lot of stupid things. And I was like, what do I ask for?

And I ended up asking for... Hey, sister, like the old men... Oh, what a bitch! Like the old men, look, men want everything, honestly. They want them without striped shirts,

without long johns, with a lot of curves. And in the ass, they even take them with a dick. You do it, you do it, you do it, please.

But thank God. Oh no.

Thank God, really. Cheers, brother.

Cheers. I feel that you, you trans women, I feel you take more than a jota, right? No, look, right now heterosexuals, from throwing them in the cup, to throwing them in Jair Huango's ass,

better in Jair Huango's ass. The truth. a What are we going to do today? I told you a pozole. Yes, but it's very late. The pozole would be ready by now. No, I would have brought the pre-cooked corn. How long does a pozole take? 45 minutes if you want it. And it's a lot. You're not going to make an oyota, bitch.

I like it because I make it very fast. No, but it's like on TV. that is just starting to cook. Oh, of course! That's cheating! That's why you have to follow people that are real on social media and not people that only make pure lies and pure bullshit

and don't teach you anything.

That's why you don't follow Guacala, how delicious! Oh, I'm getting pissed! This bitch is pissing me off!

And we're going to talk about spring because tomorrow is going to talk about the spring because tomorrow is the spring.

Oh, really?

So tomorrow I have to go up to the pyramid so that all my energy comes out and I get positive? Yes, is that it?

Yes, right? Yes. How? Yes. Oh, don't you know? I tell you, sister, that the bitch comes to teach the boss.

How dare you? Didn't you know? But how? I didn't know! How? You go to the pyramid from Teotihuacan, you go up to the highest pyramid, all dressed in white, even if you're a whore, but you're dressed in virginal white, pure and everything, and you go up to the top, you go up, even if you're very tired, because you're very drunk and very smoky, your lungs are at full capacity and your kidneys are about to explode. So you wake up, walking like a girl, you get in a woman's pose and you receive the sun.

And you say, Oh powerful, beautiful, precious, wonderful sun, come into me and take away my bad energies. And so, all the bad goes away. That's why I'm not going. I'm not going because I'm scared.

I feel like you're having a satanic pact with the people.

Oh, so stupid.

Well, that's how they do it. What haven't you seen?

Someone who's seen Chatty Pity Ditchy.

Because you know what? Because I'm from Guadalajara and I didn't know. the pyramids of Teotihuacan. How not? So it's like if I said, those from Mexico never go to tequila.

No?

Have you been to tequila? Have you been to tequila? Have you been to tequila? Well, you're an asshole.

So they don't know what's good.

Yes or no?

They don't know what's good.

But we... But for example...

The pyramids, sí. Todo mundo. Ay, no, es que qué vamos a esta. No, yo te voy a decir una cosa porque yo no tenía para comer

y yo no podía venir para acá en la primavera.

Ay, ni yo hermano.

Pues tú todavía no puedes.

Ya sé, ché perra.

Pero voy a poder, porque en el nombre de Jesús lo reprimo. Voy a poder. Y un día voy a tener el departamento más grande que el tuyo. I'm going to have the biggest apartment than yours. And I'm going to tell you, come to my party. Yes, but there will be a tremor. And it will fall.

The rich always has to humiliate the poor.

Of course, asshole. We always have to humiliate the people below.

Don't forget that they are coming.

Below.

No, I come from below, you come from below, and you are still there. But I'm going to be on top. This asshole who has to be behind the paper, I have a visa.

And I'm going to keep fucking with you, asshole.

I don't know what you're going to prove, Vanessa. You're from the bottom. I am. I'm from the bottom.

Me too, brother.

We can get into the subject. What do you think? ¿En qué escuela estabas? ¿O en qué reclusorio? ¡Ay, qué perra! Mira, yo estudié hasta segundo semestre de prepa. Ok. O sea, aunque me veas muy putona, pero sí, llegué hasta prepa a leer, a escribir.

No sé matemáticas porque nunca me gustaron. ¿Y el inglés?

¿6 por 8 rápido?

48.

¡Ay!

¿Sí sabes?

Sí. Claro. ¿7x5? ¿7x5? Cállate los higos, pues ya sabemos que tú sí sabes. Estamos preguntándole a la pendeja.

A la puta. A la puta.

Porque aquí vamos a saber si las putas de México están informadas o no. ¿7x5, mi amor? Ya teníamos mucho tiempo.

No, pendeja, porque el otro respondió.

Ok, rápidamente. ¿9x6?

¿9x6. 9x6. No, no, no. I told you I'm a dumbass. That's why I'm a whore, bitch. That's why I'm a whore, because all the smart ones haven't traveled like me. I've traveled even though I was a whore.

That's it! I love it. It's great that you're giving them a lot of focus. And they're going to keep telling us to attack you, even if we attack you. And to attack you, whoever has to attack you.

And shut up.

Let's put Agüita, ok?

Agüita. Do you remember that kid who was saying Agüita, Agüita, Agüita, Agüita, one who was making a lemon Agüita, that kid became trans. He was a little boy.

I didn't see him. Go's natural water, don't worry.

I don't think it's mineral water. What kind of soup are we going to make?

No, it's mineral water.

This is going to be yours.

I've never seen a can of water.

Can I turn around? Yes, my love.

Oh, sorry. I'm going to put some water in it.

I'm going to put something in it. I've never seen a can of water. Can I turn around now?

Yes, my love. Oh, sorry, you made me crave it.

Oh, sister. That's why I made it.

Let's see.

No, it's natural water. This is natural water. Look, I'm going to give you... I'm going to give you a drink now that I've poured it all over you. I'm going to give you a drink. Spring water. Look, drink it.

You don't have a straw.

No.

It's very thin for me. Drink it.

Come on, man.

Did you like it?

How many minutes do I have to put the maruchan?

Three.

Well, well, well, I'm going to put it in three.

Five. I'm going to put it in the maruchan. Three! No, because you think I'm going to go. Three is going to stay in the maruchan. Well, well, well, I'm going to put it in three. Five?

It's going to spill there.

Okay, I'm going to put three minutes. And if it's not well done, I'm going to catch you. Okay. Oh, then put two. Production, can I have a pineapple juice, I'm from Antonica, and I'm dressed in green. Hey, you're wearing orange, what a beautiful color you have. Yes, right? I look good in orange.

Yes, you look more like a blonde. I feel like you need to go check yourself out. The eyes. I'm dressed in green, how do I look? Very good. You're not going to the office to see me. Look, can we say that we're working in the corner? Yes, Vanessa, so that it doesn't look so vulgar, so nasty, so bitchy,

and so...

like this, as it looks. So instead of saying corner, or bitchy, or blah blah, you say office. And that's how everyone, instead of saying corner, heel, heel, blah blah, you say I'm going to the office.

To the office, yes. And we call ourselves secretaries. esquina que voy al tacón que voy al talón que voy a la habla se dice voy a la oficina a la oficina y a nosotras nos decimos las secretarias las secretarias clientes ejecutivos hay no sabía esto de que claro los clientes son ejecutivos nosotras secretarias la oficina y sacamos trámites de visas pasaportes este hacemos copias o sea ahí hacemos todo porque nosotras las trabajadoras I'm going to put ice on you. Oh, and with me you can get the visa process. Vanessa, I want to ask you something. Don't ask me, I'm not answering anymore. I'm feeling fine here at your house.

I'm already feeling fine.

And with these drinks I'm already feeling fine.

Oh, oh, drink it! I'm not answering. I'm not answering. I'm not answering. I'm not answering. No me preguntes, ya no estoy contestando, me siento fina aquí en tu casa. Es que ya me estoy sintiendo fina, y con estos tragos ya me siento la patrona. ¡Ay, ay! ¡Tú vale!

Ya me siento la patrona.

Te tiro, limpiale.

¡Ay! Che perra, y yo así, pásame un trapo, y yo así. No, pero no, pero yo...

Ya, mi amor. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, action.

Christina Sandoval.

What do you want, you idiot? I saw you telling my mom things. Of course. How dare you, idiot, tell my mom things? Idiot, your mom gave birth to you, idiot. Yes, my mom is sacred, idiot.

Not even if she were the Virgin Mary, stupid. Don't mess with my mom again. Maria stupida con mi mamá no te vuelvas a meter me meto porque mi mamá para mí es sagrada tal vez para ti tu madre no es la grada porque para ti parir este tipo de persona que eres lo odio te odio te odio cristina te odio y jamás hoy lo jamás jamás jamás jamás vuelvas a hacerle eso a mi mamá

estúpida odio Never do that to my mom again! Okay! Stupid! I hate you!

Fuck your mother, asshole!

Yours! And in a boat so it can sink!

What an asshole! Cheers!

Cheers, brother!

I'm a girl, brother! I'm a gato! These soups have already spilled over! Oh, it spilled over! I told you! Now you're going to fuck me! I'm a girl, sis. I'm a kid. These soups are overflowing. It's overflowing.

I told you. Now you're going to fuck me. It was three minutes and you're still... Now fuck me. Look, this is going to happen. You're going to split...

Your mother?

You're going to split your mother. Here are the knives.

I like it like this.

No, you know what? You partir la cebolla. Ah, ok. No, yo quiero llorar, hermana.

Es que me caga llorar.

Es que a mi no me gusta con cebolla. No, pero ahora si, aquí esta mi programa, te lo tienes que tragar, mi amor.

Ah, ok.

Si.

Ay, que perra.

Si, mi amor. Si no es sábado. Aquí tragas porque tragas. Ay.

Ay, bitch.

Yeah, and you're just going to wash your hands.

You're just going to wash your hands.

Yeah, well, I wasn't a cook, that's why I don't have a beard. You can shave the cucumber. I can shave whatever you want. I'm drunk, and I'm already seeing Jair good. He's the bad guy. I've been good, I think. Well, when I got here, I didn't see you that much. I saw you like Sarah's cashier.

Now that I'm drunk, I see you like Mayate. With that green beard, like the cucumber. And now I just cut it.

Did you?

The cock.

I believe you. No, but I don't care about your cock. What I care about is your ass. Yes? Are you active? Activa? Activa, herman, a mi no me gusta ser pasiva. Ay, no, es que si son unos... pues eres mucho china, eres un monstruo. No, es que hacer... ay, que perra... es que hacerte el enjuague bucal y todo. Que lavado, que este y que el otro... ay no, a mi no...

O sea, ya... las pers... o sea, por ejemplo, ya's go. And when we got there, they gave me a little kick and I started to feel like this, tiny, from the skin, and I said, I kick them backwards, I assault them, and they say, oh, why do you hit me? Enough, my love, yesterday they took three blacks from me and I have a well-heeled ass. Heeled? and I'd rather tell them dirty things so they'd come. They pulled it and... And you made them suck it?

No, no, I sucked it. No, how could I... Bitch, how could I tell them dirty things without sucking their balls? They won't understand, bitch. They'll say I'm the devil of transmania. No, bitch. Oh, the onion is already spicy.

It's not spicy.

Oh, well, it's already spicy. Well, well... I'm not a real estate agent, honey. Because I don't have money for the rent, bitch. Do you want it with onion or not? I told you no, but you're a bitch, you're the boss. No, but you tell me. Well, because you're a bitch. Drink, bitch.

When I got to Tlalpan, they gave me the onion pico. They gave you 500 pesos for sucking, and now you say,

Marucha, don't put onion on it. Oh, please, ridiculous. That's why God doesn't give the eyebrows to the skull. Yes, it's true. It's like those who take ibuprofen. Have you seen? That the pill is so big and they say, Oh, I'm going to take ibuprofen.

But how do you swallow the damn 24- ¡Que una pendeja! And now The final battle The final battle

The final battle The final battle The final battle

Well there you are, clean asshole Now you're going to start trapping Fucking asshole, but with your Fucking cheap extensions, stupid Clean it, swallow it, asshole Like this, very good, eh

And now what are you going to do? Clean it up, asshole. And tell me dirty, stupid things, because that's what I like.

Oh, boss, I'm going to suck your dick right now. Oh, my tits were... I bit my tits, my tits. But it's okay, but it's okay. Cut! You guys must decide... Cut! Cut! F! You fucking losers!

I mean, she made me look so bad, right?

So bad!

Yes!

And swallow the mud, you son of a bitch!

Oh!

Oh, yes, when I didn't want to be caught, I started telling them dirty things. I would say, what a nice egg you have, my love! How delicious! Oh, yes, he said, because I'm very clumsy. I would lay down, I would put lubricant in the middle of my legs, and I would lay down like this. So I would put it in the middle of my legs, not in my anus. And I would squeeze my legs like this,

and I would lift my ass like this, and then they wanted to see if they were really putting it in. No, like this. It's just that yesterday they caught me three blacks, I'm holding your big animal. And the old men, pa, pa, pa, pa. And I, oh my love, how nice, I'm feeling good. Come on, please, come on, my love, I'm ecstatic, I feel like a woman. Oh, please, I'm feeling good.

And the old men, you're not talking to me, so I'm going to come. And I paid you for an hour. And I, come on, come on, come on, my love. I know me how to play for an hour. He knows about the valencian. No, no, no. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, with that face and that body, going out. God damn that bitch. God damn your mother, you and your son, you idiot. You want to get home so your husband can break your mother?

No, boss.

Because he lost America.

No.

He lost America, you idiot. You want to get beat up again?

No, no, no, boss.

Look, boss, you know I need the money, boss. And those earrings you have on your fucking eye, my makeup covers them, you're stealing them, babe. No, I'm not stealing anything, boss.

No, you are, but I have cameras.

I'm not stealing anything, boss.

I have cameras.

I put on the visu. I put on the visu. This one doesn't smell, boss. The cucumber is spicy. Like your ex-husband, you said?

No, the cucumber is spicy, I said. The cucumber is spicy.

I like it.

Like a bitch.

The cucumber is spicy.

Like what you are, a bitch. Yes, boss.

Oh, how nice.

Don't touch that sausage, asshole.

Fuck her mother. Yes.

Oh no, it's that...

Oh no.

It's like a porn movie.

Oh no. You're going to get a lot of them. Yes.

The cucumber and the cucumber.

The cucumber and what else?

I'm going to chop a chili.

A chili, but two of these. I don't want chili, sister, because I'm like this. I prefer salsa.

You want chili?

But I'm going to add this.

Lemon, yes.

Lemon, yes.

Lemon, yes.

Let's see.

I forgot that you do come to kill the hunger here.

I do, sister. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna put it in my mouth.

I'm gonna put it in my mouth. Oh, we're going to add the tomato. Yes, add the tomato. Because you need to eat vegetables.

Because you look very yellow, Adi.

Yes, you're getting very yellow. I feel like you have cirrhosis.

Oh, what a bitch!

I saw you more articulate. Well, I'll chop a tomato for you.

A chop, uh-huh.

A chop.

A chop.

Let's see, did you add the lemon? Yes, you idiot. I told you. It's already cooked. Hey, what I like is that your knives are sharp, not like mine. It's just that the sharpener hasn't passed. Oh, I have a sharpener here, look. I just do this.

Well, you have it here, but we have it in the neighborhood, right?

I'm going to give you one.

Oh, give it to me.

When you turn 20. I ran out of money. Oh, give me that, it's old. In the neighborhood, we really need a sharpener. Have you seen when you use a sharpener? And it goes like... My mom would take out the machete to sharpen it.

Because it was raining.

Why did you have a machete?

Because any thief that tried to kill himself. What neighborhood was that? There? Well, the San Juan Bosco neighborhood in Guanajuato. The San Juan Bosco neighborhood, the Silamas, the Leondos, I send my regards to all of my neighborhood.

You're from León?

Yes, sister.

And how old were you when you moved to Guadalajara?

I lived there for 10 years, almost 11. But I'm already... Look, cheer up. I'm almost 11 years old. But I'm already... I'm already... Oh, bitch, you're gonna get your ass kicked

and you're gonna get your ass kicked by the old people.

I'm just a little bit, sis. Remember that I'm leaving here running to Tlalpan to work.

Cheers, bro. Cheers, bro. We're drinking tequila in a fine glass and a maruchan in a rich glass. No, this is a... Let's see, you say, like you invited me to a fine meal and you're going to name it.

5, 4, 3, 2, action.

My love, what you're about to try will never reach you, even if you gather all year. This is a pasta that they bring me from Italy. I can't tell you the name. Well, I can tell you, but you won't know where it is. I'm that my great-grandmother died, she died because she was a prostitute. Careful. And an English sauce. That's from England. That's from England, yes, of course. Look, you add a little.

But it says it's from China.

You don't even know how to read, my love. This is a secret sauce that I can't tell you where it's from.

Can you put a little bit?

Yes. poquito

el puede poner más así como usted señora es que ya no hay vamos a intentarlo yo digo que si hay I say yes. There it is. There it is.

This is very expensive.

Fuck.

And you don't even have anything.

I'm waiting. Take care.

Let's see.

No, but not with a spoon. Do you want a fork?

How is the avocado? The avocado? How's the avocado? The avocado?

It's expensive. It's expensive.

It's for me.

I'm going to grab one from here. This is like my hard ones.

Look, it's like my hard canned chiches. Look, this one. This one, yes. This one, yes?

My daughter, the avocado is indispensable. This one, yes. This one, yes. This one, yes? This one is good.

My daughter, avocado is essential. Of course, I have a lot. I want to imagine, sister, that I'm eating some delicious shrimp from the sea, directly. But have you eaten them like this, the maruchan?

Yes, of course. Yes?

Yes? Yes?

Yes? you invented it. But I just put cucumber, not even cucumber, I just put avocado. So you kill the hunger. No, this is a healthy, nutritious food for me. It nourishes you. In the neighborhood, this nourishes you. In the neighborhood, all this nourishes you. For those of us from the neighborhood who know what it is to be hungry, this is a caviar that you eat every day. the barrio todo esto te nutre. Ay que rico. Para los de barrio que sabemos lo que es tener hambre,

esto para nosotros es un caviar que tú te comes todos los días.

Todos los días, sí.

La neta. Patrona, ¿me puede dar más aguacate?

Sí, por supuesto, se lo voy a descontar.

Ay no, patrona. Todo me descuenta. Hasta el otro día que me lavé los dientes en su casa, This censor discounted a month's worth of water for a toothbrushing.

Oh, no, boss, you discount everything.

Oh, if there are people like that. I'm going to tell you something. Have you ever seen a lady who spit on her bag and the lady said, she took out food and the lady said, I told you to throw that away because you're going to take it. And the lady said, no, it to throw that away, why are you taking it? And the lady said, no, it's just that I feel bad throwing away the food.

And the lady said, I prefer you throw it away than take it. Really?

I swear, it went viral.

No, the other time, what I said like, you motherfuckers, you're going too far, is that... Oh, how delicious, look, this. I'm drooling. Cheers! We were on a date with a... Cheers!

Let's try it first. Let's grab the whole thing. Spectacular, right? I told you. Mmm. Well, you're coming. You saw a... Oh, a lady that the last time we were in After with a friend and so in her apartment and out of nowhere the lady came and the lady literally as soon as she arrived, she got scared and locked herself in the bathroom. And we were like, oh, party, fuck it, but party I'm telling you, sitting, talking, four friends and that's it.

And out of nowhere we said, where is the lady? What's going on? She was locked up. And we told her, hey, lady, get out. I don't understand why you're locked up. There's no problem that you're here. And she said, no, sorry, when that happened, in the other houses I went with my bosses,

I could never be present if there were guests, if there was a meeting, and they would lock me in the bathroom. And I was like, well, people are bad. And then there are people who don't let you eat on their table and don't let you use the bathroom. Yes, the truth is, I'm going to tell you something.

People who work at home, we should treat them well because sometimes she is practically your family. Because she is the one who takes care of your children, she is the one who makes you eat, and a lot of people mistreat her for five pesos and in the end we are all going to end up the same.

Three meters underground and we are all going to smell the same. And you are not going to take anything. Maybe you are going to smell more like a wh worse than the rest. Yes, you smell fabulous, bitch. Of course. Who would you hook up with? Look, I was asked that question, and I told them I don't know yet. They asked me that question.

I don't know who I would hook up with. But I feel like to do that, you have to prepare yourself. I'm not going to go up and kick, bite eggs, scratch. You have to know where. How would you do it, brother?

Titi, titi, titi, titi, titi, titi.

Taz!

Come on, man.

You already saw my face.

I told you.

Oh, it's gone, brother.

I'm getting mad, damn it, it was so you can bring me a cup. No, it's because I put Formol in the fucking drink, asshole. Die and rot. And like this, like a bitch, you're going to get it.

I got an egg.

Both, both, my love.

Because you have two eggs and shit. Let me settle it. Settle it, because if myself, it looks like waffle. Oh no, it doesn't feel good, asshole. Look, why haven't you put on a sock? But we put on a special sock called Gistry.

Gistry is a sock that we make with mesh fabric, so that the egg or the pith doesn't slip. And it doesn't rub? No, you get used to it. But when you put everything back, the little eggshells come out. And when you bring your socks like this, it quadriculates.

And then you're like, oh, Jesus Christ. One day...

Your lips come out.

I was going to see an old man. I was in a truck, on a route, in a guagua, I don't know how you know it. So, I was in the truck, and I went in a hurry, because there was going to be a guy. And it was the first time I saw him,

so I wasn't going to get him with the eggs in front of me. I would have put a kangaroo, an egg cover, and the egg and everything, or a bag. But I really wanted to look good for the night. A girl. Yes. So I put all the eggssa, but I Know that you have a seat And I said to the

Little Lisa Simpson I mean But when I Was In the

In the

I

Think I So I was like... You were breathing on your own? I held it for five minutes and I was like, I'm going to suffocate. I even blew on it. No, Jota. When I got there with the old man, everything was fine. He was looking at me, half flat, because I was suffocating him. And he was looking at me like a pussy when you get too much.

Yes.

A bulge. Like a belly button. He was looking at me. I was a little fat, like a belly button. So I told the old man, everything so that the son of a bitch, at last, what he wanted was not boobs, or ass, he wanted a cock.

Oh, I should have come to him with the cock tied and standing aside. Look, my love, and I was going like a a whole cock, oh no.

That's why now. You have to ask before, what do you want?

What are you looking for? Ay no, ya por esa hora. Pero es que preguntar antes, que es lo que quieres, que es lo que buscas. No, pero es que una ya estaba más chiquilla yo, mujer.

Claro, te sentía mujer, aunque tenías barba todavía.

Ahora no, ahora ya le llego con los huevotes, una cangurera, algo.

No, hermana, pues es que ellos deben de saber que es topo. Eso es lo que buscan ya. Exacto. Spring dynamics! Spring dynamics! Since we're talking about spring so much, let's do a spring dynamic.

First question.

First question.

When spring comes, A. You get your best booty prints. B. You organize plans in the field, sun, work on something, you're super good vibe. Or C. You get rid of it by complaining about the heat, you're in a bad mood and you get rid of it with energy.

I...

I'm the C. I don't like the heat and I'm always in a bad mood. Because I'm a bad mood. So I'm always like, dude, there's a lot of heat and stuff. That your ass is getting burned, dude, that you're sweating. I mean, gross. That's why... I don't get it. I mean, the cold is better.

So that's why I'm always very worried that there The truth. In autumn, winter, spring, when it's very cold because I'm dying and I don't have a man who's pissing me off and it's hot. Everything, always. I'm a nasty, stupid, miserable cat.

I knew it. I knew it. I'm also the C. Because, look, the body doesn't make mistakes. Maybe in appearance I'm a woman, but the body says, Yeah, I'll go up on a sticky book up. I'll be in a party and say so you know who had better. I'll put the same

It is a matter of He may sue that knows where the last axiom last yes, don't you? He goes better mother is in particular Joe L L Ida condition out of here It's a receipt for you know with the connecting a keyboard. You know, I said my key I don't know what it's called a la de retina I do my makeup because I do my makeup, and then I look like a melted candle, and then I'm like crazy, and then I'm like,

because there's the heat. The heat frustrates me. The heat makes me nervous.

The heat makes me feel like my husband. And it's always like the option A, that you're always a whore.

Exactly.

You always take off your clothes, that's the bad thing. You always, winter, summer, summer, all autumn, you're always going to look like a bitch. Well, yes, but that's the bad part, I don't like to show my ass, pussy, nana and nene pil, because I don't have it pretty. So we're both the same.

What are you in the natural chain of spring life?

A working old lady, a plant in the attic that you forgot to water or fertilize? You're telling me those truths because I feel like they hurt me and you don't give a shit about how I feel. So you want me to tell you lies? Tell me the lies, tell me the lies.

So, oh my friend, do you remember the jackal that loved you and loved you and gave you everything you deserved? Yes. Oh, I got it. And he loved you.

Yes, because you're a fucking bitch. You disgusted him, he told me.

Who are you?

The little bee. Because wherever I go, I'm stinging.

Oh, of course.

And releasing my poison.

Oh, I loved it.

Of course.

I'm the little bee.

Very polite.

Who were you at your school festival?

I feel like you were the gardener.

No.

The sun. I wanted to be a butterfly. Well, I was.

You're a fucking butterfly right now. You're a butterfly. I'm going to tell you an anecdote. Don't tell me, we don't have time. Bye! No, when I was little, we did a dance from the Baselina wave.

The one with the little popcorns, it's a cousin. I don't know it. You're too old. Well, it was popcorns and they played Rosa Pastel. Oh, and Rosa Pastel, I know it.

Oh, so you weren't that young.

You, I want to be. No, not this one, bitch. It was a show that was on in Neon Guanajuato, which was called Rosa Pastel. Old program. So they went to visit us at Kinder, and I remember that I was a little girl, just born, from a crib with a pacifier. Girl.

So we were going to dance Popotitos, and all the girls wore that long skirt, like, how do you say it? Like a waitress.

Ampon, don't fuck with me. like a... how do you say it? Like a quinceañera. Like a quinceañera.

Like a quinceañera.

Like a quinceañera.

Like a quinceañera.

Like a quinceañera. I send you my regards, my name is Milagros. Oh, a pleasure, Milagros. She came with her skirt here, the teacher wasn't here, and I said, Milagros, can I borrow your skirt? And she said, yes, put it on. And when I put on the skirt, I was all over the classroom with the skirt,

I felt like a woman. And she was staring at me, thatThe teacher is coming!' I took it off quickly. And I started, "'Po, po, Tito, yes, yes.'" Yes, because I said, "'No, they're going to catch me, and my mom is going to tell me two or three tricks.'"

Yes.

Oh, look, Gritos, thank you very much for... Now it's, who is it for Tim? Because you gave him his first skirt. Yes, and then I dress up with my mom's skirts. You should start wearing pants. Your balls are going to pop out.

Oh, you bitch.

What do you do for a spring plan?

We both know, right? That we are the naked men and get drunk.

I'm one of those who have a short, a shirt, laid out with eggs and air conditioning.

Yes.

I have them all the time. I'm a whore, my love. That's true. You forget.

Do you want to do a spring festival with the people you know today?

My festival would be... Sol, it would be Wendy Guevara for Carona, who is a very big sun. A tree, but a tree with elephant's paw, it would be Erli.

Oh, what a bitch.

Do you know Erli? I'm gonna present that to you. You're gonna like it. She's a tall friend. I don't want to meet her. Is she a whore? No, she's tall, blond, eye color. Same as me? Yeah, yeah.

We're twins.

Let's see if she remembers you.

You see her and you're like, we've been in a pic for a long time.

Thank you. It. Thank you.

It's me, the double official.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. I don't know where I am. I'm a Maya. I'm from prehistory. I don't know where I am. And it's going to be like a cameo. It's a cameo. Just like Karina.

Like this.

But there are rituals and...

I would put Ricardo Peralta in the house of the famous again so that he sinks again.

Oh, what a bitch.

I would put him as... As afly. She likes it a lot.

She has a lot of very...

No, but because of her skin color, it's dark. It would be a caterpillar. It would be a monarch butterfly. It's black. It's true.

It's made out of the butterfly. Where are the monarch butterflies in Michoacan?

Your turn.

The king and the Queen?

Obviously I'm going to be the King.

Oh, you're the Queen.

No.

Oh, the Queen. Well, I'm the Queen.

And you're the King. Come on, come on. The Queen and the King. I would put the Sun on... Who would I put on?

You.

Because you being fat.

I would put you as the sun for being fat. I said who, who. Sun, round, red. Only sun.

Only hair.

From here I would put... Who would I put from here, sister? Ricardo Peralta. Because my sister is the same as me a scratch and a drag.

Ok, very good.

From tree, I would put Wendy, so she can see what we are doing. Or Salmita.

No, no. From butterfly, I would put Salma. It would be a butterfly.

It would be an eagle, more or less.

It would be a butterfly, Sal'd be an eagle, more like. Oh, I thought you'd be a butterfly.

I'd be an eagle. As a king, I'd put...

Nicola.

You like Nicola a lot, right?

He looks handsome, even though he lost the fight.

He looks like an idiot fighting, you're a punyeta. They put you in your mother's place, Laldo. He's 10 years younger than you and you're going to kill him. And as a queen, I'd put... Yerimoah.

I'd put my friend Yerimoah. And you? Me? Well, a dumbass who's walking around, waiting for spring to come. A change. A dumbass just looking to see what's going on. Well, Wayne, we've reached the end of this episode. I hope you've been very comfortable. Oh, yes, friend.

I loved it.

I loved having you here. You'll see, next time I'll have you here, but cleaning the floor, asshole.

Don't invite me again. If you do this, you'll invite me.

Better not invite me.

Something you have to let me know, some project? Well, no, you don't have a project. You're just a prostitute who prostitutes in the streets.

I'm going to work because I'm a client.

You have to brush your teeth because you ate chili and now you smell like poop. No, you smell like onion. You smell like poop. Since you got here, maybe you fell and peed poop with a mule.

No, it was a woman. The J's are coming. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm going like it. And if not, oh well, I've already been paid. I've already been paid.

This bitch that went to Klalphan told me to come to Cotorreo, don't stand there in the corner I'm going to pay you twice as much as a client she paid me a little more than a client I'm not going to take her, even if she says so I'm not going to take her, I'm just going to be doing a lot of stuff. I'm going to be doing a lot of

stuff. I'm going to be doing a lot of stuff. I'm going to be doing a lot of stuff. I'm going to be doing a lot of

stuff. I'm going to be doing a lot of stuff.

I'm going to be made a video on my channel, I got here and I made my video, Jair received me very well, with very good vibes, he spit on me, it's scottish, you know how Jair is, invented, ridiculous, nefarious, I fall fat and the one who really humiliates her is this fucking whore. That's it!

And because she doesn't have a face. You bitch.

Your social media, in case you don't know, is 80% of Mexico.

You bitch.

My social media... I have three channels. Can I say that? I have three channels. We're going to kill them all.

You bitch. My name is Vanessa Vasququez Davios 4K, Vanessa 4K La Fruta Prohibida, and the other side of the story. So you can go see my conales, I'm always doing my thing, and my Instagram, Vanessa Vasquez 4K.

Go, follow her, and you know, with 1,500, this bitch goes crazy. I love you, see you in the next episode. Kisses! Take care, culeros! You're inaugurating your new house! Yeah!

Thank you, my love!

Go get it, you're driving me crazy! I'm going to leave with the soup and the wine! No, you're missing out. Hey, you're going to a club to see little chilitos of strawberry kids. No, in a gas station, a delivery with a trailer. A man with a trailer.

Where everything is done in the shake and he does...

Sir, asshole, here the woman you want to feel woman is you.

Well, it looks like Tomboy.

That's a dog.

Well, it looks like Tomboy.

It looks like. This is the shit, asshole.

Yes, it looks like.

Has someone picked you up over the eye? You know it sounded really bad, but... You know it sounded really bad, but... Yes, but I have taken over you, you bitch. Because I'm a very bitchy bitch. You're such a bitch.

Production! I want to feel at your house tonight. Keep laughing, you bitch. Cheers to the people who have taken over me. I'm a woman. I said, you know, I can't do that. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. It's springtime. Don't make me do the dishes, bitch. You were going to climb the pyramid to get... No, bitch, I'm a whore, I work in the... Where did you pick me up? How am I going to talk to a person about springtime, history math?

Of course not, the only thing she knows how to talk about is... Shit. Poor thing. If I were a lady of the temple, if I were the religious lady, what's the name of the religious lady? Yes, the Catholic religious lady.

The Catholic lady you were talking about.

Well, of God, of Satan.

That with those socks and those socks, you're going to go to hell because you have a lot of pussy.

So, sister. It's not pussy, don't get it wrong, it's balls. Do like this, something rings the bell.

Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing?

Because you're kissing my ass. You're kissing my ass all by yourself, beautiful. How come you can't reach it?

Well, I take advantage of any moment to have a name. Because you're a free whore and I charge. It's a big difference.

That's awesome. She who charges has more dick inside than I, who is cheap and well, not cheap, free.

How do you swallow the fucking 24 cm dick? Centimeters.

I dropped the glass clean cup, asshole

The cucumber is spicy, the cucumber is spicy I like it, like a bitch The cucumber is spicy

Like what you are, a bitch

Yes, boss

Silence

Yes, boss

Because you shine a lot, you bring a lot...

You're going to see, asshole.

Oh!

I can't do it, but I'm here.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, my god, bitch.