Do It Again, You’re Out of the House | Ep 308 | Bad Friends

Hey! We're gonna be in Lincoln, California. That's basically Sacramento. The home of Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln is not from there, but that is basically Sacramento. On March 14th, we'll be there at the Thunder Valley Casino. Then, May 8th, right here in Los Angeles, our hometown. We're at the Netflix Comedy Festival. He got it. Netflix is a joke at the YouTube Theater. Go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets. That's badfriendspod.com.

Comedy, the last frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Bad Friends. Its mission, to explore strange new bits, to seek out weirdos, wild stories, and bad decisions, and to boldly go where no sane podcast, HR department, or legal team has gone before.

Hey! You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.

We're bad friends.

Whoa! Don't. Don't.

Don't.

Don't. I'm a white dude, I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.

We're bad friends.

Woah.

Don't. Is mine facing the right way?

Yeah it is.

What do you have makeup on?

Because I'm going out after.

She's going bowling.

Wait, who are you going bowling with?

Her friend. Some friends.

You going out on a date? No, just friends.

You're going out on a date?

No.

Yeah, you're fidgety.

I know you're going out on a date.

No.

Who's the guy?

No one.

Welcome back to bad friends.

The one that she likes is in Hawaii.

Oh my God.

Right? Yeah. The tune, the tune. The tune, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And she has, and she has.

And she has. No, no, no. What?

Mom.

You have a crush on him.

That's all I'm saying. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

Hawaii and Rudy.

You're on a different wavelength than I am dude. I don't know I could do it And this one is a car-neum-one. That's the end. Mm. Aw. Aw.

Where are the dilithium crystals? We need more pride. Where are they, Rudy?

Where are they?

Rudy.

I don't know.

Where are your boyfriends?

Where are your BBC boyfriends?

BBC.

BBC.

BBC.

BBC. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B dude six years we've been doing this fun show and you guys fun don't do it I'm dark I'm dark what a night to have it's a Star Trek six-year anniversary we've got Rudy Jules over here beam me down dog there it is hell yeah dude the variation of the shocker you see bad bunny or what whoa whoa what's your say? Did you see Bad Bunny? I saw Bad Bunny. Bum ba dum bum bum bum ba dum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.

You know what? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Braco Braco Braco, Maco so beliva la vola volano

Such a good performance I saw turning point

It was great. I was on true social, baby. It was you know what Kevin Spacey did a little number

You know he did a little dance. He'd have hit a top hat know what else? Jon Voight did a scene from Midnight Cowboy. Whoa! Yeah, it was great. That was awesome. It was awesome, dude.

Yeah, well. I saw Turning Point. While a lot of Americans were watching Bad Bunny ruin the halftime show, Bobby and I were tuned into Turning Point to see Kid Rock rip the stage. Yeah. What's up, America? Sick of these liberal turds and that lady that took eighth in American Idol. She was great, too

She was great

Dude, bad bunny rip rip dude It's so he's a hot guy. He's a hot guy. Yeah, just walking through good actor, too You know my favorite thing about the bad bunny thing what that made me laugh at the behind they had a marketplace like oh my little a little convenience store in the background And it said we accept EBT. I was like that's so funny. Yeah, it was in neon. Did you not see that? It was so funny EBT accepted at the Bad Bunny halftime show

Super Bowl was one of the worst Super Bowls. I think I've ever seen in my entire life I don't know who played it who won nobody nobody won everyone lost No, who was she Hawks who won Seattle did win they did yeah good congratulations to Seattle who cares I don't care shitty Super Bowl. Yeah, it was boring what I'm more interested in right now Yeah, is how bad I feel about last night. I boned you I boned you bad. I boned him good. I feel bad. He fucked me. Well, I feel so here's it. Can I tell yeah, go ahead No, we went to the premiere of anyway our new animated movie that Bobby and I played the announcers Chuck and rusty Please go see goat. It's out February

13th. Yep, I think

Two days ago days. It's out in the theater still, please go see it. Yeah, you finished it, right?

Yeah, you went home halfway through. They didn't even send us in the same theater.

That's what pissed me off. I was alone, right? Big bag of popcorn. All the celebrities are far away from me.

You got a lot of celebrities. You guys could have taken us. Huh? You guys both have plus ones and you could have taken us.

There was so many, yeah, we could have, no, we couldn't have, it was sold out. Sold out, so filled. Did you like it?

I loved it. I love it too. I actually thought it was awesome. Yeah, yeah.

But I called you after.

Your voice came out first, do you remember? What do you mean? In the beginning of the movie, I could hear your voice in the background,

in the far background. No, I didn't. And one of the guy's son said to me at the after party, because we have friends that have kids that showed up, and I was like, did you like the movie? And he goes, yeah. And I said, did you like the announcers? He goes, oh yeah. And I said, which one did you like more?

Did you like the big one or the little one? And he goes, I like the little one. And I said, good. That's good. That's good. He plays the little tiny one. You ripped. It's honestly, it's cute and sweet and funny. I hope people go see it. It's a fun animated movie.

Bring your, bring your-

The way he fucked me was, so then Saturday night-

Oh, timeout. First of all, that night after the movie, we were supposed to go? It's literally in the same complex. I'm already at home.

I'm in bed.

Yeah, I was already in bed. He bailed halfway through the movie.

I was alone.

One of the women working there goes, your friend left. I said, where did he go? She goes, I think home. car and he left. But then we were told the next night was like a wrap party, but it was a screening.

No, it wasn't.

During the day was.

I know, but this is what he says to me, this lying bastard.

Well, it's not a lie. It's what I was told. It's what I was told. They were like screenings all day and don't come, spank. My boy spank, shout out to spank. Spank goes, don't need to go, it's a screening. Anyway, I get a call going, a car's picking you up at 6.15, I go, where are we going? He goes, you're going to the wrap party,

so I'm gonna go, right? And then right, the car arrives, I'm talking to Andrew, Andrew goes, it's not a wrap party, dude, it's another screening. Right, so I went up to the driver And then like 30 minutes later, he calls me back, oh no, it is a wrap party. And I'm like, I'm gone.

Sorry, I didn't go. I stayed at home, I watched Pluribus. Have you seen that show?

I haven't finished it.

I'm not finished it.

Oh bro, it's great.

I like the ending.

Wow, it's good.

No, but Bobby goes, what are you talking about? You could have called your manager and said, can I get another car? And they would have sent you.

Yeah, I'm not yet, no.

See?

I'll tell you why.

It could have been fixed. It can't be fixed, right? Is that your mom as a, that's insane dude. That's your mom.

She's yellow dude.

Wait, what is that in Star Trek world? What is that called? Who is that woman she's playing?

This is the locker room for the guys.

Oh, oh, oh.

And we just put up.

Oh yeah, jerk material, I get it. That's insane, that's your mom. Hey, can I have that? Frame it.

Frame it. That is actually amazing.

Yeah, your mom's tits are that big actually.

What?

They are.

Okay.

Okay.

But with that face, would you?

Oh yeah.

With that face?

Without.

Yeah, okay.

Rudy, be good.

I am good.

No, you're not You know, it's so funny when you put on face makeup like this when you put on face paint like you're going out for the night Yeah, I know it's cuz she's going on a little secret date. Yeah, you are

No, you look like a colorful coconut

You're like what Tom Hanks painted the coconut Wilson your new nickname is Wilson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody online call Rudy Wilson, please.

Wilson!

Oh, that was so good.

That's you, Rude.

That's you, dog.

That's cute.

Where are you going after this? You going bowling?

Yeah, Highland Park.

Oh, you're going to Highland Park Bowl? Fantastic. She's been going out all the time now. Now what time does she get home to the house?

Sometimes four in the morning.

Gross.

Yeah. Do you see it on the ring or whatever? On your camera?

No.

No, he just hears me because he's also awake.

Well, he's playing. He's playing games.

Yeah, I was like, I wander around in the kitchen.

But when she comes home, do you interrogate at all? were you ever like, what's been going on? She immediately starts yelling. You do, you get mad?

Like, where'd you go?

Where'd you go?

I have every right to go out!

I go out!

You know what I mean?

I'm like, all right, relax.

Jesus Christ.

No, because he starts saying,

he starts saying, why are you out so late?

Why are you out so late?

Cause I can be out late. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah.

I'm concerned.

That's not... Would you? Yes. For the morning? For the morning. Yeah, yeah.

I'm concerned. Here's the difference.

You can do whatever you want.

Doesn't mean you should or have to.

So what are you doing to the beach with? He goes, my friend Hillary, and then pause. Lie. And then a bunch of guys.

Yeah, a bunch of guys.

At 4 a.m.?

Yeah. At 4 a.m., yeah.

Let me tell you something. My mom used to say to me, nothing good happens after 2 a.m., you should come home. So what are you doing between 2 and 4 a.m.? Something bad is going on. Just a little bit. Mm, gross. You're a bad kid. It's just weed. No, what do you mean it's just weed?

Just a little bit.

It's just meth, it's just crack.

I'm not doing other stuff.

That's how it starts with the weed. It starts with the weed.

Why are you so shocked?

Marijuana has been labeled as a gateway drug.

The gateway drug.

Statistically, most people who use hard drugs use marijuana first, pound for pound. Marijuana and adolescent brain development because the teenage brain is still developing until the mid-twenties, which you're not in your mid-twenties.

Do you want tough love?

No.

I'll give you tough love.

No.

Yeah, yeah. No. You do it again, you're out of the house.

Out of the house!

You're out of the house. I got a nipple piercing too. What the fuck? No, you didn't

What

Yeah, that's unbelievable dude You're really pissing us off man

What are you got now? No? I'm not just fun. No. It's not fun. It's gross. It's gross. Oh my god. You know what she's

She's gonna have tattoos on her face. Yeah from now neck tattoos on the way Yeah, face tattoos on the way teardrops for the dead homies on the way. I Can't believe you did that it wasn't painful. No, that's not what we're talking about

Who'd you get it with your friend Hillary? Yeah, we're at a mall. No at the tattoo shop

Is that where you get your weed

You get your kid pierced and a bottle of weed. Yeah guy who doesn't know about weed Yeah, did you get a bottle of weed and your titty pierced? Yeah at the tattoo shop. Did you get a bottle of weed and your titty pierced at the tattoo shop?

Did you get a carafe of weed?

Who gave you that sinister weed?

Who gave it to you?

Did you snort it?

I heard kids lately snort the weed. They put it in their ass.

Yeah, they do.

They'll put it right in their ass?

Yeah, they rub it on their eyes. It goes straight to the brain.

Where are you buying the weed?

I'm not buying it. I just, um, some friends.

Oh, you have a drug dealer boyfriend.

She's got a drug dealer boyfriend.

She's got a drug dealer boyfriend named Raul.

Raul.

Huh?

Raul.

Probably listens to Bad Bunny.

Yeah.

Raul.

Yeah. Oh my mack-a-ras-a-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra- I've never even seen or heard of her. Call Hillary right now. Yeah, who's Hillary? Put her on the line. I just met her! Oh, shut up.

Is it Hillary Clinton?

Oh, it is?

It's Hillary Clinton!

Oh, you mean one of Epstein's friends? Yeah. Hillary Hilldog? The sinister suit wearer? Answer Hillary.

If she doesn't answer, there's no Hillary. She's not picking up the phone Yeah, you put your mom's a random girl's face on the fucking let me leave a voice message

When you have finished recording you may hang up

Hillary use me um we heard about the marijuana the weed and the breast is being pierced and the boob piercing

Yeah,

we need to call back call back ASAP. Call back. Talk to you about Jesus Christ. Yes, the Lord and Savior, Lord and Savior. Right. We need to talk about discipline. That's right. Right. And if you want to get scared straight, we'll scare you straight. I'll scare you real straight. Yeah, pal. Listen here. You know what? Don't call Jules ever again. Don't ever again. Call her. Don't ever call her again. She's not your friend. Right now, the path of life you're living is like scoliosis, it's all crooked.

You want to get straightened out, pal? You got to come see us, the bad friends. And let me tell you something. Yeah, tell him. Let me tell you something. If I catch you listening to, bum ba da bum da bum ba da bum, rocka da sa, baka ba da, no!

You're going down.

All right, she better call back.

She better call back.

It's a new world now. We're living in a time.

Tell us, Messiah.

We're living in a time when someone like Rudy,

Oh, wise one.

Flippantly, flippantly talks about drugs and tit pierce stuff and her friends imagine what they're doing when they're not joking around haha This is funny cuz haha podcast now. I'm being real. Let's be real. Yeah, you're playing the devil's game You're playing the devil's game, and you're playing right into his hand. Yeah like this right He whispers in your ear okay, yeah, you're playing the devil's game you are yes, yeah, you are do you are okay?

Yeah, we just smoke sometimes.

Wait a minute. Did you get your boob pierced when you were stoned on marijuana or drunk on alcohol?

No.

Liar, you were sober?

Yeah.

Come on, 100%.

100%, no.

100%. So you went to the tattoo parlor, you walked in, you lifted your shirt up, and you let some creepy devil man. Was it a man or woman that did it?

A guy.

Oh, wait, wait, a guy, right? You're 14.

I'm 24.

I'm 24.

You're 24, still, some man slid a needle through your breast in front of other people and you think, fun time Saturday night. Yeah, I don't mind showing my boobs. Oh my god how did he hold it? What? How did he hold it? He just did that and then he stuck the needle. He hates women. Yes, yes, yes he's a misogynist. He's a misogynist. Any guy out there that's willing toform a woman's breast is a misogynist and this man amen in this man. I gave him consent

Okay. Yeah, because you felt pressure because of a power struggle Hillary made you do it

No sure no, I got all people are doing it. Yeah, I want to be a real American Bobby

Right, do you want to be a real American Bobby Right do you want to be a real? Oh say can you see? Let me tell you does Hillary have her breast pierced Okay, so so does anyone in the circle have their boob pierced not just me. Why did you do? Why are you the ringleader?

Because I got bored so I told her let's go to the tattoo shop.

Get a hobby!

Get a hobby.

Batminton!

Play jacks.

Curling!

Cards!

Yeah, something!

Darts! Shuffleboard! There's so many other neck-knacky things you can do No, that's not gonna get a tattoo she is

Hmm. Let me guess a pentagram. Yep

Yeah, what is the devil's game devil? I got my whole back. What do you want on your whole? Yeah? Oh, yeah, but I don't know but something also on my chest, like a tribal. Oh my God, what? Hawaii.

Hawaii's got her, man. Yeah, it's Hawaii.

It's gonna be Hawaii.

It's not Hawaii, it's Flippi.

Yeah, yeah.

No. Oh, your aunt. I used to date one of them, correct? Right, she's got tribal tattoos. Yeah. And it made her crazy, sick of it. That's why I'm no longer with her. That's right. You're right. There.

That's Kalila.

That's Kalila.

Yeah, yeah.

That's Kalila right there. That was a picture of Kalila when they were going out. When she was going out, that was when she was heavy.

Have you seen the news?

Hillary, answer.

Get it.

I'm excited. Andrew wants to talk to you

Hillary yes, what are you doing?

You sound like you're on drugs

Are you on drugs Hillary?

You oh, you don't smoke marijuana. You know the marijuana

Really all right so when Jules is smoking it she does it herself. Yeah, I do it by myself

Hillary yes, do you smoke drugs with Jules?

Sometimes the ones you lie to us Did you influence her no?

Did you influence her to smoke marijuana Hillary are you are you dating some pothead?

That drives a souped-up Honda Civic is that what you you're doing and he's going around town with a loud muffler is that the guy that you're hooking up with taking her to tattoo parlors getting her tits pierced did you convince her to else got their tit pierced in the group?

me Okay, Hillary Hillary give it to me Hillary Hillary. It's uncle Bob Did you see Can I talk for a second? I'm pissed. I'm pissed too. Did I miss did you see Avatar fire and ash?

You didn't

Well, they instead of going to the beach and doing drugs, why don't you go watch that movie? I'm just giving you options on what else you can do.

You know what I mean?

Right?

Well, it was just a girl thing.

Did you see Melania?

Great documentary.

Great documentary.

Is it not great?

Oh, say can you see?

Wait, you should go watch Melania.

Melania.

It's very good. It teaches you about work ethic. It teaches you about principles.

And immigration.

And immigration.

There's immigration involved, right?

Immigration's big.

Yeah, yeah, and also shoes. Shoes.

You like shoes, Hillary? Yeah.

Okay, good.

So she got her boob pierced too, you lied. Yeah. Hmm. Okay. Funny joke. That's funny joke. What tattoo?

A fairy.

Oh, you mean a satanic symbol? Yeah, yeah. Look up fairies as satanic symbols.

You read the Smurfs as well?

Smurfs are satanic as well. Smurfs are also satanic. Yeah, yeah. There is no singular official fairy satanic symbol, but horned goat headed Baphomet symbol of the church of Satan.

Yeah, it's not a goat, it's a fairy.

It's a trickster fairy puck.

Wait, wait, wait, it might not be a fairy, is it Clay Aiken? Because he's a fairy too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Ricky Martin.

It could be Ricky Martin.

It could be Ricky Martin.

He was on the Halftime Show.

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On your third box, offer valid while supplies last free meals applied as a discount on the first box and new subscribers only it's Gonna vary by plan Thanks for the drugs, okay, I mean I'm so concerned you're hanging out with drug addicts and influencers who think that they're gonna be famous online Yeah, so they're piercing their tits. They're getting tattoos look at any of your friends have these tattoos. These are satanic symbols This looks familiar to me pal times running out on you guys pick out one of those tattoos

We'll all three get them at the same time

The one in the top right looks like the medical symbol for like an EM yeah, yeah, we should do a lip tattoo What is that? Oh? What do you want to say? Yeah, what do you want to say? Yeah Exactly. Yeah, you got to figure it out baby girl. Oh, that's a terrible fucking idea. Yeah. Whoa Stegosaurus thought about that lot wild and I don't like that You know, it's a really funny my friend Hillary. What does it say killed kissed by you killed by you my friend Hillary

40 years later at grandma, what's that say on your lip? Grandma, what does that say on your lip?

This says, I heart BBC. Daddy, that one says daddy, that's awful.

That's awful.

My friend Hillary, who you guys met when we had Guy Fieri here, has Flavortown inside of her lip. Well, she was made to do that. Yeah, that was her thing. No, but honestly.

What's Flavortown?

You need to get educated, girl.

What's Flavortown?

You need to stop with the tit piercings and get educated.

Yeah, stop watching Euphoria. That's a bad influence, Euphoria.

Well, that's the problem. That's what they're doing. That's what they're doing watching you for it. What are they watching? And they're probably watching the problem watching heated rivalry. He did robbery. Yeah. Yeah, just gay stuff

Yeah

No, he doesn't I did like It's gay propaganda. I did love it Look at the song in the middle of the show gay Gay is cool. Gay is the way. Be gay. Hey, hey, hey. That's the middle of the show. They just break out in a song.

I didn't see that part.

Really?

Yeah.

I saw it.

I saw it a couple times.

Gay is cool.

Gay is the way.

Gay is the way.

Gay is the way.

Gay is the way. What's that church where he goes, celibacy is cool, what is that? Celibacy is cool.

All the kids are like chanting it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is it, what is it?

Don't have sex, just cast checks.

I don't mind that video.

Celibacy is cool.

Is that celibacy?

Yeah. Virginity is cool. Yeah, virginity cool, yeah. Virginity is cool, yeah. Virginity is cool. Virginity, let's watch that. Come on. Virginity is cool, come on, come on. Virginity is cool, come on, come on. Virginity is cool, come on, come on.

Virginity is cool, come on, come on. Virginity is cool, what up, what up. Virginity is cool, come on, come on.

Virginity is cool, They do look cool. Yeah. Imagine this is looping in your head as you're hanging yourself.

Come on.

Come on.

Virginity is cool.

Come on, come on, hey, Jimmy.

Virginity is cool.

And you know what?

Virginity is cool.

It is cool.

And here's why. Yeah. Because you know what virgins don't do? Pierce their tits and smoke pot at the beach. Amen. Like a fucking deviant, like a devil person,

like a little devil person.

And that's what the devil does. He goes, come on, Rudy, come to the beach with your tits pierced and smoke pot by the water. I'm telling you, we are disappointed in you as our daughter. It really bugs me because we wanted you to blossom and do like a young woman with goals with with with I'm going to school

Bullshit, yeah, she is going to school. I'm doing my master's but tell them what you're what are you mastering? Yeah Fake it's fake fake. Oh this tree is sick Look at this planets all gray Falling apart fake. That's fake shit fake Yeah, go get him go get these Titanic plates are shifting What do we do nothing nothing? We can't do shit if they're gonna shift when they shift

Am I right earthquake or whatnot you can't stop it quakes are gonna go away quake be quaking Yeah, El Nino is coming back. It's here. Yeah, I can't do shit about it. There's nothing you can do about it

Are you gonna fix that? What's the what's the fucking what do you do as your master?

You just picked it out of the chart You don't know anything about it. Yeah, dude. Okay, the first day class. What do you do? How'd you pick? You don't know anything about it. Yeah. Dude.

Okay, the first day of class, what do they say?

I don't even know.

Well, fuck, we're done.

You're not going to class, are you?

I am!

No, where are you going?

I am going to class!

She's going to the beach?

Yeah, smoking weed with her tits pierced at the beach, you pig. Pig. Let me say something to you. How many classes are you taking? How many classes are required? There's three classes. Three classes.

What are they called? One is occupational health. Bullshit. One is microbiome. That's cool. And one is something also risk.

Something also risk?

Yeah.

Good. I'm glad you're paying attention. To something risk, a key word to something something you wanna know what's going on. Something also risk.

Occupational something risk.

Occupational hazardous risk.

Something like that.

I'm telling you, honestly.

That's a master's you need.

That is a master's.

The microbiology is cool.

Give me something you learned in microbiology.

Prions in your head, they make you really sick and can be technically called virus and like the pregnant women that likes to eat that has cravings of like dirt.

Wait a minute, pregnant women that wanna eat dirt?

Like craves dirt, that's because they also have some kind of preons.

Pregnant women crave dirt? Look at Fancy's losing his shit.

Where were you three years ago?

Go into all, hold on, let me see. Zoom in. Craving dirt during pregnancy condition known as PICA.

Oh.

Eating disorder involving urges to consume non-food items like soil, clay, ice, laundry starch. This is nutritional deficiencies such as iron or zinc. So this is real. So what'd you call it? Preon?

That's what my professor said.

Well, it's pica. We say it's known as pica. Primarily to deficiency. So women are out there just eating dirt.

Yeah, they crave it. They wanna eat it.

Yeah, we see.

This is why we have- Do you crave dirt? No, I'm not pregnant.

Okay.

Yeah, you better fucking-

Andrea, did your wife crave dirt?

Yeah, I didn't know what it was.

But it was-

I thought she was gonna crave it.

Why are you going to the garden every day, sweetie? Is there no flowers out there?

Your wife was doing laundry and eating laundry at the same time while your daughter was being born.

Wow.

Wait, did your wife have any crazy urges when she was pregnant?

Not really, no.

But eating dirt is-

Except for that.

Yeah, she was eating a lot of dirt. Well, your house is made of clay, so that does work out. That's pretty good. Six year bad-iversity by the way. And I want to say thank you to all the fans. Let's take two seconds to say thank you to all the fans for your loyalty, for your

fanship. We appreciate you. We love you. You've been along for the ride. And here's something interesting. Look at this. My life would not be the way it is now without my fans. No, it's the greatest. Thank you so much for your support and we really love you, so thank you. I'm being genuine.

I am too.

And look it, we met this idiot when she was 18 years old. She was 18, she came on the show as your liaison to make sure that you didn't go get cigarettes or go to food and you did anyway.

I did anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And here we are six years later with the crew added McCone and

Added Carlos actually the original crew is us and fans. Yep. Do you remember the first episode you did?

Yeah, I was so scared. You were scared. Yeah, God It's so one was listening though where they live we were at that other the old place old studio over there I don't do the old Rudy's first appearance on bad friendsiana, Rudy Jules, first appeared on the Bad Friends podcast early 2020. Recurring guest of a beloved figure early in the show's run. She frequently appeared in many of the earliest episodes. Her presence became established as a staple rather than a single formal guest debut episode. Even AI knows how important you are to the show.

But does AI know you're piercing your tit, smoking pot by the beach?

Probably not. It's gonna be in your wiki, I'll tell you that right now.

Significance. Yeah, what did you got? What is that? Yeah, show us. What is that? Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Incoming messages.

Incoming messages. Incoming me-

Hey, just want to say congratulations.

Hello.

To Andrew and Bobby on six years of bad friends. Look at how tight my face is in this small little hood. Not as small as Bobby's eyes.

Hello, bad friends. Congratulations on six years. Y'all are my favorite podcast to go on. Thank you to Carlos, Andrew, Rudy, fancy and McCone. And no thank you to Bobby. Just kidding. Thank you, Bobby is awesome. But I was just doing a playful roast.

Hey, motherfuckers, I wanna wish you the Bad Friends podcast.

Congratulations. She's still alive!

Andrew, honey, I love you. Give me my booty call next week.

And also, Bobby Lee. Look at that dildo on the back of her headboard.

Brand new year, a brand new me, and I'm forgiven and everything like that by your stupid ass motherfucker. God damn, love you guys.

I'll fucking kill you, lady. She really does it.

Bobby, Andrew, congratulations.

Wow.

God, guy.

Six years of bad friends. Trying to figure out a gift to get you that really kind of celebrates who you are and just how unique Bad Friends is.

I think this hits it. There you go.

Happy six year anniversary.

Oh my God.

Congratulations on achieving this amazing milestone.

Is he detained? Is this in a?

You all know this by now. He's been deported finally. But this is the number one podcast on the whole planet. Joe Rogan, who? As far as I know, I haven't experienced a single episode yet. So let's keep it going.

And thank you for being a bad friend. I love him.

I love him.

God, I miss him.

I was able to go 30 seconds without making fun of Andrew. Amazing.

Oh, you love this guy.

Damn.

Hey, Santino and Bobby, shy guy. I just wanted to wish you guys a congratulations, six years of bad friends, way to go guys, big congrats. And this is a little off topic, but when I was a kid, my dad used to duct tape me to the basement wall

and throw darts at me. So have a great happy anniversary.

Have a safe trip.

Wow, amazing. Guys.

Blessing.

It's a blessing.

Great, yeah.

How do you feel?

Good.

Six years later. Six years later now.

Let's talk about what this did for your life, bad friends.

Yeah.

Changed your life.

I know you made a list of 20 things, so go ahead.

Go ahead.

Yeah, I got 25.

Yeah.

I don't know.

You said 20.

Oh, wow.

So let's start with you.

20 things.

20 things that changed your life. And helped your life.

Very good.

Friends.

Yeah.

Family.

What?

It's a list. Yeah. Family. What?

It's a list. Why it's helping you. Can I help?

No, I'll just say one.

Go ahead.

I think it made me really confident. I think it made me not think too much about what people think. It made me feel just like it's okay if I have an accent. It's okay if I, I don't know, sound stupid. It's okay. And I feel like it really helped me

just be comfortable with myself.

Oh my God, I think that really is true. I think you've become more yourself than anything. That almost made me cry. Since the day that you clean that knife, I think something clicked. No, because I saw her perform in the main room. Yeah. Comedy store. Yeah. Not being real. And I slid in the back and I saw Jules on stage. And she was so natural. She was doing it. Yeah, yeah. She was on stage. I mean, that's a legendary, huge, intimidating role.

Oh my God.

Right? And if you think six years ago, there's no way she'd been able to do that.

No.

Yeah, yeah. Bad friends changed all of our lives, but changed your life, truly. You like became your own. Yeah. Confident, you know?

A little.

I know.

Yeah.

On the edge.

A little edgy.

On the edge, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not everyone goes, I don't talk to anybody, six years later I'm piercing my tits. But I am proud that you become your own. And also this takes, we wanna take the opportunity to tell you that it's time for you to move out.

Yeah, we you have until Friday. You're going to move out of the house. What about the dogs? Don't worry about the dogs.

Going to go to the pound.

No!

Well, half of them are going to put to sleep. Right? Yeah. And then some of them are going to go to the pound. Actually, there's one guy named Tran who's gonna take it, one of the dogs. Tran.

Tran.

Yeah, Bing Tran.

Tran is Tran.

He has a restaurant.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what he's gonna do with the dog, but anyway.

Tran Tran. That's Remy. by Friday. Yeah. And all of it. I want my car back. Yeah. You really have had a great run.

It's a good run. It's been nice, but you're done. How about you? What? My experience of six years? Yeah. Incredible. Shopify.

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That is shopify.com slash bad friends. Mars men.

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I've gained from this show, like the love that we've got from this show, the people that I've earned from this show that I've gained, the fanship, the fans are fucking unreal. I think it's the coolest thing we've ever done. I've said this before, I'm gonna be corny, but this changed my life in the best way, in a way that I could never have dreamed or even hoped for.

It was the greatest, it's been the greatest moment of my career. And if this is the greatest thing I ever do, that's awesome for me. If I never do anything bigger, better, more impactful in the comedy world,

this has been the greatest thing that's ever happened in my career, by a landslide. It brought you and I closer as friends, as brothers. It, I don't know. It just did something for me that I'll never, ever, ever be able to top, no matter what it is.

That's a fact. I'll never be able to top this. The most fun, it's the most fun I've ever had in my entire life. It's been the best ride.

So hopefully that'll be amazing. Fuck is it my turn to do the gratitude thing?

Sorry man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. Go ahead. It was a good ride, man

Yeah, what are you Johnny Depp, what are you doing? Yeah, dude, are you tweaking out?

This changed your career this changed your career what career did what it, dude. This changed your career. Yeah. This changed your career. My career did. What's up, man? I'm free.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you imagine what this life would be like without bad friends for you? Not as good.

Well, uh-uh.

Not as good, dude.

How fucking insane. What you went through.

Friday.

Your dad dying. A relationship ending. I can't do my fucking gratitude. Sit down, man. Are you still on Wigovy?

I know.

You gotta increase the doses.

I quit taking it three weeks ago.

I know, well, because I can tell, it's wiggling.

I know, it's wiggling now.

So fast?

Well, because- It comes back so fast. Immediately. Immediately. Because I saw the Wigowi commercial in the Super Bowl and I said, Bobby's on that. And somebody goes, still?

And I go, I don't know.

Yeah, I don't think so.

It's changing, dude.

It's changing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a rapid return of appetite, increased cravings, and for most users, significant weight regain. It's cereal for me. I do three different now kinds. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are they? What are the kinds? OK, so I do. What's Bobby Lee's trip?

We already talked about the life cinnamon cinnamon like what?

Yeah.

Golden grams. You probably like you're not going to like the first two are good. All right. Frosted mini wheats get fucked.

Yeah, I get them.

What do you what do you 60?

Yeah, almost before. What are you, 60? Almost? Before, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then sometimes I do Cocoa Pebbles.

Love!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's your favorite cereals? Three, if you had to combine three cereals,

what do you eat?

In the Philippines, we had Cocoa Crunch.

Here we go, here we go. We have Bat Guano. What was that, Cocoa Crunch?

We have Cocoa Crunch

Little balls of mud

Different than our Cocoa Crunch still Nestle though. Yeah, it's gotta be

Crunch for you and fruit loops

Fruit look fruit loops. Yeah

Is it a toucan or a bat? Do you remember when fruit loops is a?

Mandela effect?

The bird?

Oh, dude.

Don't look it up.

Drives me nuts. Yeah. Well, it's like I learned today.

Yeah, how, do you know what Froot Loops, how they spell Froot Loops?

Froot Loops?

Yeah, very good.

Very good.

No. Cheers, you know, we're cruising. Yeah. What is it? Fruit. Yeah, F-R. F-R.

U-I?

No. O-O.

F-R-O-O-T-L-O-O-P.

Fruit Loop.

It's how you guys would say it.

Fruit Loop.

Fruit, Fruit Loop.

Look, it's Fruit Loop. It's not spelled like fruit. It's spelled Fruit Loop.

Look at that.

Do you know that? It's a Mandela effect. You know what a Mandela effect is?

Some people think it's like a different way and some people think it's something else.

You remember it. You think you remember it one way, but it actually was never that way. There's one that fucked me up today. I just watched a Mandela thing on TikTok today. Crazy, he brought it up. Suspenders, suspenders or not on Mickey Mouse.

Yes.

Look it up right now. Mickey Mouse suspenders. He never had suspenders. But I remember him having suspenders.

Okay, I got one.

I got one for you, hold on. I got another one that's gonna fuck you up. Well, can I got one. I got one for you. Hold on. I got another one. It's gonna fuck you Can I do one now? No Yeah, please give me you're the curious George the monkey. Does he have a tail or no tail? He's gotta have a tail Does he have a tail? Yeah, look it up. He does. Yeah, look it up

Wait, cuz you tricked me cuz my mind was gonna say maybe he doesn't have a tail. He does. Wait, he does not have a tail. He doesn't have a tail. When he's walking with the guy, he doesn't have a tail. That guy, wow, he doesn't.

He doesn't have a fucking tail.

Did the park ranger take it?

Yeah.

Oh wait, zoom in.

Yeah.

Is he a gorilla?

Zoom in. Zoom in. Does he look like a gorilla? Look what he has. Yeah, he's got his nipple pierced Probably a pot smoker. You know what the tails Jan jammed in his ass He tucks it. Yeah, he's a Tucker. I get you. I got me a Mandela the Monopoly man. Yeah, ask me. He's running with a bag of money. Yeah monocle no monocle. No monocle interesting

Yeah, no monocle look it up monocle or no come monocle. No monocle. Interesting. Yeah. No monocle. Look it up. Monocle or no monocle. What do you think? Nope. So he never had one. But that image of him running with a bag of money. Yeah. See the one right there. That the right one. That for some reason people all thought he had a monocle. I know I thought he did That's mr.. Peanut. Yeah, mr.. Peanut looks a very similar, but I do my gratitude list. Yeah, dude gratitude, please Will you do it right now all right so um?

So we went to the premiere you know me you know we went and there was like it was at the Century City Mall, right? What a weird place. And it was like that sea of kids, you remember?

Boys and Girls Club.

Boys and Girls Club. And when I came out, the place went crazy. Chanting my name. And it's all from Bad Friends.

Well, it's your whole career.

I know, but it was essentially the last seven years of my life. Which this has been a big part of you know It's I remember when I after mad Polly told me dude, you're never gonna make it did He gets dude if mad didn't do it dude nothing's gonna do it did what an asshole and not and then now he's now he

Says you made it Okay. Yeah, I mean so it it's like, you could just kind of feel, it's just you could feel it in the wind, in the streets. You made it a long time ago. No, I don't think so, dude.

But Bad Friends was solidified. The little kids from Boys and Girls Club, holy shit.

Because I remember you were signing their shirts

and all that stuff. They lost their mind for Bobby. It was so funny, man. They were like, it was fandom. And you're talking kids. Like they never saw Mad TV. Like they weren't alive. These are nine to 12 year old kids,

but they were losing their minds. They were having so much fucking fun.

It was cool.

You don't believe us?

No, I believe him.

I'm here for all of this. You can thank us for this fame. Whoa. Like you just show up and sit down for 90 minutes, but a lot goes into it, so.

This is what you do.

This is what you do.

Boop.

All right.

I do, I say, boop.

Anything you do, boop.

That's it, I do that.

Rolling.

Yeah, you do that.

That's the booper.

That's the booper. Are you kidding me? I'm basically your manager, dude. This is what you do. This is what you do.

Yeah, come at six.

Why don't you thank, why don't you give some gratitude, fans, for the six?

Yeah, you three have some gratitude.

Let's go. Well, no, no, no. Let's hear Fancy, most importantly. He was here from the very, very beginning. than you. Thank you. I think I got that. I had a dream once. And that dream is...

Thanks to Bobby. Just like Martin Luther King. I had a dream. It was like what can I aspire And you made it through! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Oh shit! You feel good? You feel good dude?

You deserve it man!

You're the best middle man dude.

You're the best middle ever. Okay, man. You're the best middle man, Dan. You're the best middle ever. Okay, Carlos, words of affirmation, words of wisdom, words of peace, words of grace.

Best job ever. My first job in L.A. was driving escorts, and my last one is working with y'all here, and I love it.

Kind of the same.

Yeah.

Pretty close.

So, thank you, Bobby.

Thank you, Andrew. I appreciate it. Thanks for having me on. I saw I came on an episode 87. 87, that was your first. Yeah.

So it's awesome to still be here.

I feel like you've been here forever, like since the beginning. Well, essentially, right? Because what, what, what, 52 weeks, right? So he did within the beginning of the second season, second year is when he came on.

No.

The only reason he didn't come on earlier is because we were on a restrictive cast because-

COVID.

COVID, we couldn't- Oh, that's right. We couldn't have people at the studio.

Yeah, who was doing, it was just you, right?

It was just Fancy alone in a blue time zone. Alone under the stairs. Well, I remember under the stairs and then George would come sometimes. We'd kick him out fast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pete, then it came.

Then Pete came.

Pete.

Remember Pete?

I love Pete.

Used to throw croissants at him.

Yeah.

Remember that? Used to throw croissants at him. Oh. You call him Peter Chocolat. He'd go, Peter Chocolat. And you'd throw a chocolate croissant at Pete. We love Petey. Petey and George would come on. And then after COVID wiggled its way away from our psyche

when we were sick of the bullshit, that's when he joined. And McCone, you're a newbie. You're only two.

I was coming up on three.

This will be the third year.

Wow. When Sickler was on, that was the first time I was here and mentioned.

Yeah, you came in in that tough year.

Tough.

Yeah, that was a tough year.

It was hard. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Yeah, yeah. We're grateful to have you guys along for this ride, McCone and Carlos and Fancy, and also you, the Jules. Also the Jules more than anything.

We've had great guests.

Yeah, it's been crazy.

Yeah, we've had... The last couple of years we've had great guests.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When they said Jack Black wanted to do this show, I was like...

We had Sina, remember?

Has he seen the show? John Cena?

Yeah, and Efron. Efron. Nuts. We're going to continue to do the show for the fans because it's the most fun we've ever had. It is by far. And I do think, I'm making a slight prediction, but the fall of 2027, which is a full year and a half away, we'll do a Bad Friends global tour.

Really? Yeah.

Our last one. Our last one.

Our last tour together.

I think we'll do one big-

The last one's supposed to be our last one. Yeah. But we'll do one final. We'll do one final. Well, that's what all good bands do.

Yeah. You have to be on tour with us.

Yeah.

You do.

You really do. You do.

It's only fair.

Can we go to the Philippines?

Yeah. Yeah. If we can sell tickets. Yeah. And also Fancy has to come. Are you working on another baby? I'm gonna be honest, because we can't take you if you have another kid. So if you have another kid, you can't.

Because we're childless, you know? We're sloths of the street. We're childless trash.

Yeah, it's better for you guys.

Focus on work.

Oh, is that facetious? You being a smart ass? You just got a citizenship, dude. Don't make us take it away. You better calm down, okay?

You guys showed up for my special, I remember.

You did.

That was really sweet.

Powerful.

Now you guys were backstage and I thought that, you can get in your head and go, oh, that was bad or whatever. Because you get off stage, you're like, I could have done this better, this and that. And then you guys were like, no, that was, you know what I mean? I just, the affirmation made it clear.

I believed you. When you guys said that it's good, I believed you. Sometimes I don't believe comics.

Well, it's that I got, yes.

Comics, no. But these guys are our friends and they'll tell you the truth. They're not on stage every night, you know? Yeah. So they really mean it when they say it. Finally.

Finally, yep.

Finally.

Should I, it's not really etched in stone. We can think of another one.

I think finally is so good, but I think it's finally.

You think so?

Finally with two E's.

I don't like playing on words shit. Really?

I don't. It's kind of like the whole thing. I'm not a punny. It's what we do here at this show. I know, but I'm not in my own personal life

of punny puns.

No, finally is very poignant anyway. Just finally. I think it's finally. Yeah, it's beautiful. I'll say this. What's really gonna happen is.

Tell us. Great strife and struggle. Lot of wild shit going on right now. It's already bad now though. I know. But it's gonna chill out at the end of the year because people will be sick of the nonsense.

I don't know, dude.

And they'll go, what do we need to break up the year? And they'll say, finally, Bobby Lee. It's been a long, it's been a long, wonderful, fun road. When you re, oh yeah, okay. I just remember that, there's little tiny things that happen on the show that I'll never forget.

You saying the joke of Thumbel, Thumbel's one of the funniest jokes you ever said. I laughed harder than I've ever laughed. In fact, we revisited tonight at my buddy Jim's house. We revisited because a Wogowie ad came, a commercial came out of the Super Bowl. And I said, I remember when he was on Ozempic and he threw up for the promo for the Halloween episode two years ago.

And you puked right there in the front room. And I laughed so fucking hard. I laughed, I couldn't stop laughing. I thought you were goofing around. When you were like, I don't feel good. I was like, you're being a bitch.

But at the time you weren't laughing.

Yeah, I fell. Yeah. That's the funniest moment I've ever seen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When I fell. When you fell on the roller skates is maybe one of the funniest moments. Yeah. No, but you throwing up in the hallway got me so good because the first couple of times I was like, oh no,

but it kept coming.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Dude, I was so sick.

I had to walk fat again. No. Yeah, yeah. You're not fat again.

Yeah, I'm just getting rolls.

But you got off of Wigovi? Why'd you stop using it?

I just got so nauseous, dude.

You were tired of the nausea.

I'm just tired, yeah, but now I just got new medication for the nausea, but now I'm on Lexapro. So you're on Antidote? It's like I you know man, so I'm like afraid it who's prescribing my psychiatrist, but maybe you should change No, that's the pros really working. No, but Lexa. I couldn't come the other night. That was the scary part. I know I remember so Lexa Pro Lexa Pro off so Lexa Pro on will go V off Yeah, anti-nausea medication on oh no off off until I'm back on will go V when you go back

You do I think tomorrow is the day. You can go back?

Yeah, yeah.

It's like a low humming nausea, right? It's like you're not going to vomit, but it's like a kind of like a light sickness that's in your gut.

I don't like that.

Right?

And you're just walking around with it and it's just like, I was just tired of that. Yeah. I'm back on creatine, which is crazy.

What's that?

Creatine is a very long researched, long use product you use for post exercise. Or, well, I mean, I use post exercise. Some people do it pre. But I found out some of the health benefits of creatine outside of like muscle building and stuff for the brain.

I used to take it when I was in college and I worked out a lot and then I stopped. But then look at the brain benefits of creatine. It's actually amazing.

Do you need a prescription for that?

No, brother, creatine's you could buy at the store. It's just, you know, to improve short-term memory. I mean, I'm on real medications and you brought up creatine. Like that was weird. I take vitamins. All right. It's like. Well I told you maybe you shouldn't be overly prescribed drugs.

Yeah it's a little startling because I now, because I have, I'm on Ritalin.

Yeah see this is my thing, is they wanna throw everything at you.

I have so much. I have Ritalin, Naloxone, also a Tenelol.

Is your penis working?

No. working no I can get a rack because a blue chew yeah where is it on the

spaceship but have one of those little things that's this Monday Tuesday Oh

blue chew no no a pill case yeah you have a pill can't nobody have like a row oh my it's it's a system yeah so it's a pill case yeah but I just don't want to take a lot of pills any yeah I you know, I don't know if I need it. I think if the Lexapro helps, that's good. Are you on any medication at all?

It is helping. You should.

You want it?

Yeah. You know what? It stops some of the ruminating thoughts. Yep. occur in my head. Of course. And I'm in a mental nightmare. What you're on Lexapro as well?

I've been on it for like five years now.

And on PrEP, right? You're on PrEP?

No, although a doctor did recommend that to me once.

You might be.

He was like, you should probably get into this.

You might get under PrEP. Cause you do.

What is PrEP?

It's what gay people take. people that are at risk of getting HIV at a higher level.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Huh?

I said gay people.

You people.

Your people.

Yeah, there's fun stuff that gets you AIDS.

That's what I'm saying. So you could catch HIV.

Wait, so if you take it, you're it.

You can't get it.

You can't get it. It's preventative.

Preventative, yeah. Yeah, but I haven't I'm not on prep. I know but what are the what are the side effects of that?

Having too much fun at hamburger Mary's

on a Wednesday Nausea headache diarrhea. Yeah, I'm gonna abdominal pain already have those. So yeah, yeah So what we want to say is So what we want to say is Thank you for being a bad friend.