DR AISAH DAHLAN UNGKAP PEMICU UTAMA FAKTOR YG SERING BIKIN PERCERAIAN ‼️ JIN DASIM SUKSES BERTUGAS⁉️

There was a couple Nothing happened between them They didn't fight Suddenly, they broke up Why did the wife consider her husband as a pervert? Even though maybe he's not a pervert

Because he was the one who kept the peace So, both of them are not wrong But, both of them are not enough

Let's give a round of applause

Welcome, ma'am Thank you

After... It's been 2 years, right?

Yes, it's After 2 years, right? Yes, 2 years.

So, our issue is... Many people asked me about this. Please invite one of the experts. Razik, I mean. About the problems about divorce.

So, the most people are women. They said it's because men don't talk about it. But is it necessary for men to talk about it? Usually, women are more critical about how they take care of their house.

If it's necessary, it's really necessary. But women's brains are happy to learn about their family. Okay. Men love to learn about the things that are related to their job. Oh, that's the nature. So, how do you do it? For example, a woman, she can't do it.

For example, she watches a video. She's educated here. And the men, they also understand. How do you do it? How do you direct them? and the men also understand how to direct it. Now there is a phenomenon, because there is a video that can be cut short, later share each other, wife gives husband, husband gives wife, right?

That's also a way. That's also a way, but be careful too. Sometimes if, it should be beautiful. There are also wives who share videos so that the husband knows that it is too much. So the husband feels offended. On the contrary, husbands sometimes share educational videos for their wives so that they understand. But it's too much, or the sentence, listen.

That's not good. Is there a practice in life?

Yes.

I'm not like that. Yes, I'm not like that either.

Yes, but there are many practices like that.

Like communicating via video clips, like codes.

Yes, yes, yes.

So, there are a lot of people, mothers, if they meet me, they tell me, Doc, I often send video of the doctor to my husband. But is the communication like that healthy? In the digital era, it's okay.

Okay, just okay. Digital era.

But not ideal? It's the most fun to talk like this. Yes, talking like this. Yes, like this, actually, it's the ideal. But there are times when it's okay to use the media. Because in the old days, people sent letters to express their feelings.

Because they couldn't speak directly, they expressed their feelings. And when they read it, you're relaxed, calm, right? Now, the media is all about the office, gadgets, it's okay.

It's okay, right?

I often express my feelings to my husband using the internet. My husband is more happy to read it than to listen to me directly.

So people are different, right? We can't compare, right?

Yes, that's right. We can't compare them.

We can't argue,

the way it should be like this, we can't. Or all of those ways are used. So sometimes I can talk directly when we're both fit. Sometimes it was just now, I saw when my husband was holding the W.A.

If I said, listen to me, he could get angry because he wanted to relax. Just send it there. Because he wanted to relax, he just sent it. Sometimes he asked for food, he answered, is there any fish?

Yes, it means that getting to know each other, his rhythm is the most important. How can we know before we get married that he is the right man? That's the point.

Can I get a lot?

Many people want to hear. Yes, he's long. Many people want to hear it. It's gradual. Indeed, at the beginning, two years ago we discussed a little bit, at the beginning we were interested in someone,

it was indeed the brain's command, from neuroscience, the brain's command, which of course, this brain is not yet on if we don't pray to meet our destiny.

Okay.

So when we say, Ya Allah, meet my destiny, as faithfully as I am. For example, like that.

So the first thing is prayer.

Yes, prayer. Because when someone prays, the word that runs through their body activates our body here. Okay. So,

it attracts the magnet to meet with the man, for example, I'm a woman of prayer, the man who returns the Wattag.

Returns the Wattag?

Yes.

Because the soulmate is a part of the soul, the soul part is not the same, it must return the Wattag. The introvert meets an extrovert.

Oh, really?

Yes, yes. It's magnetic.

So we open with a prayer.

Yes, we open with a prayer, and it lights up. At that time, there is actually a moment to learn each character. Whether he can tell a story or something. Bisa dia ceritakah, apa segala macem. Atau memang sebelumnya, kita yang pas berkenalan, aku kayaknya suka ya sama dia ya. Ya, first impression. Mulai kita cari tahu dulu tuh.

Dia kayak apa ya. Kadang-kadang mau ngomong langsung kan belum tentu sejujurnya kan. Makanya kita boleh tanya teman dekatnya, keluarga dekat friends, family, anything. Look for information. Yes, information. Data must be there. Profiling is important.

It is rarely done.

Yes, yes.

Although the attraction is because the characters are different. Yes.

Yes. For example, someone who is an introvert, a thinker, an observer, who people say tends

to be quiet, is very interested in a partner who is a bit more introverted. Yes. Yes. Yes. For example, an introvert, a thinker, an observer, who people say is a silent tender, is very interested in a partner who is a good storyteller.

That's how it started. But because of the weakness, when they are together, together for almost 24 hours, the weaknesses will be accessed.

Okay.

Okay. Starting from there, there is a small annoyance, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, So we enter the phase of introduction, the term is dating. Yes, the term is introduction. In the Islamic concept, it's called Ta'ruf.

Ta'ruf collects data from family, friends, and there is momentum to be formed. Then there is a facilitator. This is the Ta'ruf version. Yes, the Ta' added version. Yes, the added version. If the other version still uses the term dating, it's actually just to find out from his friend. Before it's very tied.

Before there is a commitment. Yes, before that. What do you think he is? We collect the data. Oh, like this. So don't commit first, before the data is collected. That's the ideal.

The ideal.

We're talking about the ideal.

This is not a mistake, right? Yes, yes, yes.

That's the ideal.

That's the ideal. So, there's our common sense to consider those things. Yes, right. Because sometimes if you meet someone, you will be able to tell them about your strong points.

Yes, what you see in front of you.

Yes, that's right. Especially when we fall in love, the dopamine is flooding, so it makes you happy. Even though the couple has told me, I have this weakness.

I used to have this back then. I used to have this back then.

It's okay.

You're not focused on that.

Yes, because dopamine is flooding. Okay. My love hormone, my love hormone is flooding. Okay, so after that, you've got the data, right? You've got the data, you've got the information. Okay.

But there are some things that are certainly biased. I'll commit, I'll do it. Well, in the journey, many people are trapped, usually. Trapped with the situation, the situation, the time investment that has been done.

This is from the POV of women.

Yes, the basic principle of marriage is that people are different, right? They are united. Different types of men, different characters, different talents, different cultures, different patterns of sexual orientation, different ages, different knowledge. All of it. Yes, this must be realized first that people are different people who are united by God.

These differences will cause conflicts. But many people don't realize that marriage is uniting two big differences. Many people don't realize it. I thought, maybe at that age, maybe I was not even 20.

Not even 19.

19 years old, I ran.

You ran fast.

So, at that time, there was no knowledge of us as standardization, actually. How to be a householder who can maintain it for a long time. Well, age also affects it, actually.

Age means it affects.

The younger it is, the input data, information as principles, of course, there are not many yet. So the young people are used as a principle, of course, there are not many yet. So, the youth is used as a time to filter the fall. Don't rush to step into the commitment of marriage.

If so, I'll accept it like that. That's right. But there is also another concept that is to protect, to protect the soul. If both families agree, then the marriage is done.

After that, actually, you have to look for the data. The point is, we have to be diligent in looking for data, looking for information, or in the easy term, we learn how to conduct. Because each conduct is different. We learn about conduct, we don't necessarily have to come to class. Just observe, oh, he likes this.

Starting from a child, oh, he likes coffee with only half a teaspoon of sugar. That's a data.

Yes, that's data.

But usually, it's because you're triggered, you want to be admitted and you want to own it. Yes, it will all be like that later in the marriage. Motivation is what we finally have a passion for. What he likes, what he doesn't like. That's the motivation, that's why we have the desire to do what we like, what we don't like. That's love. Yes, that's it.

That's what makes us passionate. Dopamine makes us passionate to do that. But how do we answer when we are trapped in a relationship where we are not happy inside? This is not only a marriage problem. This can happen before marriage, after marriage.

It's trapped inside. So, the term happiness that hasn't been agreed upon. The term happiness that hasn't been agreed upon? That hasn't been agreed upon by itself. What is happiness? Joy, joy, joy, or what?

The POV. Yes, the POV, the definition.

The definition.

Well, happiness is actually the definition of feeling content.

Feeling content.

Yes, feeling content. Feeling content, happy to share. That's happiness, actually. Feeling grateful. That's it, he entered the variables, happy. Okay, feeling content.

Happy to share. Happy to share. Feeling grateful too. Feeling grateful. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. That's still called happiness. It's still good, the percentage. Yes, yes. But if the 2 days are happy, and the 5 days are not, it's not good. So, the definition of happiness is what we sometimes don't understand. We don't understand that, oh, I'm enough.

I was given a salary by my husband at that time, at that level, oh I'm good. That's already happy, right? So if we want to talk about the material earlier, let's talk about ourselves first. Have we known ourselves better or not? Yes, that's one.

Now it's better. It's better to know yourself. That's why a lot of psychology, personal psychology, is divided into how to detect which character we are, what type, what desires,

what strengths and weaknesses. Or, the more basic division is extrovert, introvert, ambivert.

Yes.

There will be more types.

So number one, you have to know yourself first.

Know yourself. That's why I say now, schools have started to teach people to know their personality. Yes, that's rare. But to know yourself, usually we mirror it with our ecosystem

and also people we spend time with. That's if, for example, to get to know yourself from people's cohesion and people who evaluate.

Yes.

Now there is a technique to get to know yourself by filling in a quiz. That's quite effective. Filling in a test that has been designed in such a way, by filling in the test, almost 85% know the truth of themselves. That's quite effective.

Yes, 85%. Even if you come to a psychologist, because this is actually a psychology course,

a detailed test, it can be 90% accurate.

Okay, at least from there there is data to know yourself better.

And we can predict, for example, those who are not married,

can predict what my partner is like.

Because you will get the opposite.

So he can match the logic or can he predict? He doesn't match the logic but he can predict I am a thinker, 88% meet a soulmate partner People who are eager to be happy, or a speaker. A thinker must meet a speaker. A thinker must meet a speaker. Usually like that.

A thinker is detailed, right? Detailed, organized, like that. A speaker type is spontaneous, then can be bold. So that they meet. A thinker just wants to be at home, because he wants everything to be organizeder wants to be at home. Because he wants everything to be in order.

He is comfortable at home. The speaker is more happy to go out, meet people. But if you unite with Allah, with God, so that the people at home

don't stay at home too long.

Yes.

Go out once in a while. People who go out often, don't go out too often. So it connects with the quote, before loving someone else, love yourself first.

That's the most important. Love is, first, to know, to understand, and finally love. How to get out of the initial romanticization, from a relationship, which turns out, he's wrong.

Oh, it turns out I'm wrong, it's not him, it's not suitable, but it's already down, right? What do you mean? Have you been married or not?

Not yet, not yet. If you get married, it's different.

Yes, if the data is too narrow and cannot be adjusted with any mediation, you have to make a decision. Usually girls like to wait for a guy. It depends on the character. with whatever mediation, you have to make a decision. Usually, girls like to wait for guys. It depends on the character. There are 10% women who decide.

Yes, there are, but not many. 10%?

Yes, 10%.

Yes, yes. The 60% is up to you. 60% is up to you. Yes, yes. The 30% is divided into two. Some give me time to weigh. In the end it becomes long.

Yes, it's long.

There are actually a lot of 60% who are not brave enough to make a decision, they don't want conflict. Just like that? Don't want conflict, because the basic character is a peaceful person, don't want conflict. Yes, but that's not good for him. Right.

Well, that's where the for him. Right. That's where the importance of the support system is. A friend who is open-minded. The condition is this, this, this. Now it's good. Many professionals are coming to consult on marriage issues.

Okay. This one. Later, he will be given an open-minded. His strength is this, his weakness is this. Okay. This is not a matter of whether you are willing to accept the weakness, not that.

The problem is you have to know the weakness so that on the journey you do this to overcome his weakness and your weakness.

There are tips.

Oh, it means you need help. Now, it's fun. External help is more to professional workers. So what? So that it's more measured. Yes, that's when we talk about measuring. But we can't measure it evenly. Outside there, there are those who sometimes want to find professional workers. Where? That's why actually Bang Daeng Suni's podcast is also a source to learn how he actually

is, what his character is, it can be conveyed through information that can now be obtained from this social media, right? Yes, it's easier than before.

Okay, but usually if a woman woman is in the 60% position,

she lets it go because of the character, the peaceful character. It's not going to conflict. What are you afraid of?

That.

Regret? Yes, I can regret. Well, usually, if we look at the character, this peaceful person, 85% of the time, gets people who like to arrange things. So, for example, a peaceful society, 85% of the people are the ones who like to make the rules.

So, for example, peaceful women get men who like to make the rules, who are more determined, who are more tough, who are more... Okay. So, there is a nuance of fear for them to leave. Because of the loss of comfort? That's one.

Another is fear of being threatened. It can be like that. Fear of regret. Regret, maybe, it's not that. Afraid because the partner,

the partner of this peaceful person, is the one who is willing to manage. So, for example, a peaceful woman, who is willing to do anything, will get a partner, even though they are not married yet,

a person who will manage. Imagine, even though they are not married yet, someone who can manage it. Imagine, a man who can manage it.

Okay.

So, to make a decision, like, I don't think I'm suitable for him. Or, my mother doesn't agree with him. It's really hard for this peaceful woman to make a decision.

So, she's in control of the man.

That's right. That's why we're taught the type of character. This character is from childhood. If I have a child with a peaceful character, from childhood, I've been taught

to be assertive, to be brave and say no. Oh, yes. That's the point. But the problem is, we're just about to learn to know our child's character. This is just the beginning, right?

Parenting is the content of some parenting that is brought by a doctor, psychologist or hypnotherapist, or a professional nurse, it leads to there. But what if now he is an adult, her position is... trapped, what will happen? While this relationship is not good for her,

but waiting for her husband to decide is difficult.

Learn fast. Learn fast to know yourself, know your character. That's the human's ability. But the spiritual wisdom is A. In Islam, we do the Istikhara prayer to choose. We ask God directly. Yes, we pray again.

Yes, the question is, God, is this A suitable for me? Is it suitable for my family? I pray for the blessings for A. There is a spiritual wisdom. But the spiritual wisdom is A. Is this A suitable for me? Is it suitable for my family?

Do you want to know the blessing for A? There is a spiritual effort that in Islam we call Istikharah. It is not done only once, the prayer. The prayer is only two rakat. Sometimes if there are two rakat, there is actually a guide, but we are not sure, right?

That's why it is asked to continue the prayer tomorrow. Sometimes there are 7 days.

So his focus in his prayer is very spiritual. It really helps his condition to get out.

Very, very. So he feels the power to say, Yes, stop. It turns out that the power of prayer can give us the power to get out of a situation where we can't do it forever.

Why can it be like that?

We ask God, God gives us a lot of things that we don't see. Whispering angels. But logically, it's... The brain's work is... The brain is connected. Sometimes our healthy mind is blocked by this. There's a brain stem.

If it's tense, it can fight, flight, or freeze.

What's flight?

Surrender or run. Attack, run, or freeze. What is flight? Surrender or run.

Okay.

Attack, run, or block. Okay. Attack, run, or block. Okay. Yes, like that. Yell, get angry, or block.

Okay.

That's the brain.

Okay. And that's not all good.

That's the human self-defense mechanism system. God gave it. Oh, it can be good or all. That's the mechanism of self-defense system of humans. God gave it. Oh, it can be good or not.

Yes.

Okay.

Sometimes people fall in love when they are told by sources that actually really understand about the person they are close to. They like to block. Block or fight. Or yell. Denial. Yes, that's what we call denial. That's the capital letter. Meanwhile, the healthy mind is here. Oh, yes, okay. Oh, it's far, right?

Yes, it's here. It's far.

The healthy mind is here. Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here. That's what makes the connection with prayer help where? Relaxing. So that the mind with prayer help. Relaxing.

So that the health will be better. Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes. Is there a connection with the person who is in a state of delirium? Because we are in a state of delirium, we don't realize that all of this is not good anymore, but when we go through it, it's like there's no connection anymore. Yes, what is called a connection is actually this.

It's relaxed, right? Here? Yes, here. It's relaxed, so all the memories that are here are accessed. Our knowledge, our experience, everything is connected here.

It creates an analysis and synthesis. So, the consciousness is here? The mind is here. It contains input, input, life principles, advice, knowledge, experience.

And behind it, there is knowledge, experience.

Behind it, there is an emotional brain. There is also an emotional brain.

Yes, it is actually very necessary, but sometimes it is what blocks the healthy mind.

The emotional brain connects to the brain, the brain stem. So it looks like this. This is the emotional brain, this is the brain stem. The emotional brain is often called the mammalian brain, the brain stem Emotional brain is often called mammalian brain Brain stem is called reptilian brain So, according to neuroscientists

The essence of human brain is animal brain Mammalian and reptilian

That's why humans sometimes behave like animals

Yes, below the animal level Yes, it can even be more than animals The behavior because the health mind is no longer working The health mind is here Yes, it can even be more than the animal's behavior because the healthy mind is no longer there. The healthy mind is here. Yes. So this is the emotional brain, the brain stem, the healthy mind is here.

It's in front, but for the body command, this is first. Because this is the back bone. Okay, the conclusion is that this prayer is a very great power

that can help our system of work.

Yes, the brain system, the brain system, the spinal system too. The great power that can help our system of brain work. The brain system.

The spinal system. The spinal system.

That's why we pray.

That's very powerful.

Fight, flight, denial. Flight, denial, block. Denial, block.

I don't block.

I have two. Fight and block. The one that blocks. The one that blocks. The one that blocks. The one that blocks. I don't block. I have two. Fight and block.

The one who blocked was the 60% of the people who were at peace. Oh, okay. I hope I get the answer. He blocked more often. So he was given an input too. Or actually, Ati bride has already said, break up, block her, freeze, can't do anything.

Okay, okay. So hopefully you can find your way out of all the questions you send me. I don't know the answer myself. Maybe I have to find out from the expert. She is trapped in a romantic relationship, in a relationship. Sometimes there is something that has, marriage is a commitment.

How to get rid of the trauma? Many marriages are about divorce. And then it gets worse. Not to mention the trauma of children

to their parents, which is the reason for it. It's a matter of agreement. Marriage is a long-term worship. That's why we do it. It's a must to have a long marriage.

That's one.

Yes, both of you have to hold that principle.

I'm sure everyone who gets married will hold that.

Yes, at the beginning. This is long. What are the consequences of being long? Long learning. Okay, long learning.'re talking about is for the long term, right? Yes, yes, yes.

Long term. Okay, long term.

So, long term, this is physical, monaap, maybe it's not like before.

Yes, of course. Okay, so, what is the meaning of the word?

What is the meaning of the word? Okay, long. So, physical is monaphonic. Maybe it's not like before. Yes, for sure.

Personality, maybe...

Some are good, some are bad. Some are good, some are bad. Attraction, maybe it's not as fast as before.

What is attraction? I mean, the attraction of the lust.

Yes, there is a decrease. A little less. Because of hormones. Hormones. So, you have to be strong to pull the lust Yes, there is a decrease Because of the hormones We have agreed Can you get a divorce? I can still

But the percentage is small Because there are still people who are third parties Third parties are family Okay. Because there are still people, the third person, the third person is family. But from the experience of Dr. Aisha herself, she has done a lot of research and was interviewed

by young people.

What is very common, the most important thing, small anger that happens every day because of differences. That's number one. Really? Yes. Not an affair? Affair is number three.

The second is economy. The third is social interaction. Then the other is family affairs, joining in the wedding.

That's behind it.

Yes, behind it. Wait, wait. I'm tied up. Yes, drunk people. There's a husband who's drunk. I'm not because they don't learn, they don't understand. Many wives say, I don't understand, my husband is like that, my husband is like that too. I don't understand what my wife wants.

Yes, there are many like that. How is that?

That's every day, right?

Then they don't look for a solution.

Well, that's the principle that should be in every individual to find a solution.

Find a solution.

Some want to find a solution for their partner, some are stupid enough to go in there. Yes, there are those who are like that. Stupid enough. That's the difficult one. So if we, for example, a consultant, if someone comes, I immediately ask his wife, do you want to maintain the marriage? From 1 to 10, how many?

Oh, you ask that first? I ask. I also ask my husband.

Okay.

If it's the same, 9. 9. Okay. We can continue.

Okay.

This counseling.

Okay.

The one who is 1, 9, 1, just 2.

Has there ever been an incident?

There is.

How is that?

one is shy, the other is two one really wants to, the other wants to vomit

very funny

how is that?

but the most common usually from experience, the one who doesn't want to defend

is the woman or the man? depends too often, we talk often if often, the one who doesn't want to defend is the current era, women.

Why is that?

Because women can be independent. Not afraid of the economy anymore. I can work on my own. The confidence has also been supported by the current situation. Yes, that's right. Then what are you afraid of?

You're not being taken away by your husband. Someone's taking you away. But I like that point. Because I always feel sorry for women who are trapped in a situation where they know it's not good,

but they can't do anything about it.

I feel sorry for them.

That's why, when it comes to marriage, I have a lot of family members who come to me, and they ask God first.

That's the safest way.

It depends on the person. How about the Muslim, the Christian, the Buddhist, the Hindu, ask God first. Because marriage is a long one. We don't know what the next step will be.

We don't know what the next month will be. No one knows. So, it can't be left out. Spiritual wisdom can't be left out.

Have you ever, Mrs. Aisah, seen a couple? There's nothing between them.

There was no indication that they were going to separate. No argument? No, no. What we saw was maybe just outside. Ibu Aisyah saw them suddenly separate. Have you ever experienced a case like that?

Yes, yes. Why did the tendency occur in the end? When Ibu Aisyah was observing. She was angry too, but the silent suffer. There is. Why did she have a tendency to do that? She was angry, but she was silent suffering.

Silent treatment?

Yes, silent treatment, silent suffering. So she was silent. So people thought she was fine. But actually, there was anger between the two of them. They were just silent. They didn't want to be revealed, right? Actually, from the point of view of us women,

if we reveal it, it will make her feel more open. So, here, she's relaxed again. The brain is relaxed again, so that the healthy mind remembers again. That's why sometimes,

when the wife is angry with her husband, she's in the room, but she feels sorry for her husband. Why did I scold her? Because the healthy mind is accessed again. with her husband, she would do it in her bedroom. She would do it with her husband. Why would I get mad at her? Because her health is being accessed again.

Because women, our brain is left and right, while men are only here. God gave men the ability to speak here. Women are here and here. And women, if there is a problem,

the problem will circulate in her brain until she is exposed.

She can throw up through the sentence.

Through the sentence, either verbal or written.

Okay.

There are two, verbal or written. Yes. Unfortunately, the writing is now being issued by mothers, but unfortunately they make a status or the writing was exposed In the past, we wrote diaries

Yes, diaries

and no one read the diary Of course I, for example, only God knows That's why the diary was beaten

Yes, in the old days, it was beaten

In the old days, the diary was beaten

Yes

If now, close friends

Yes

The close friend is cheated

He was spread to others It happened everywhere friend. Close friend. Close friend. Close friend. Close friend.

Close friend.

Close friend.

Close friend.

Close friend. But little by little, every 15 minutes, he sees how many people like it.

Yes, again.

Validation. Validation, again.

But it's dangerous. What's dangerous? This writing attracts events. There's no magic. Okay, so we go back to the one before. That there is a condition where the condition is not communicated.

Yes, that's right.

That can come because there have been many incidents. But there is one condition where the condition is not communicated. Yes, that's right. It can come because there have been many incidents, but the girl feels that the guy can't be asked to talk. Usually, right? Yes. Because usually the PFP is most often from girls. I take the general one, although not all of them.

Then, in the end, he gave up.

It means there has been a break-up in the marriage, but it wasn't kissed yet. Well, yes, that was it. The wrinkles were piled up.

Piled up?

Yes, the wrinkles were piled up, so it hindered all the healthy mind. Here, it was very tense. Because, for example, the male and female woman are different. That's why I'm so happy to socialize that. I also felt that before I knew about the brain of a man and a woman,

even though I was with my husband who was a doctor, I saw my husband watching TV, and I wanted to throw him using a rock.

That's it. No need to throw it, just use a rock. That's so funny.

Whereas men have a visual brain.

Visual brain?

Yes, visual brain. He prefers to see the visual brain than other things. When a man looks at a visual object, he doesn't necessarily see it 100%. Maybe his brain is reviewing his previous job. Oh, wherever?

Yes.

And men are talking to themselves. That's men. If it's a woman, she has to go to someone or she has to go out. Men, if there's a problem, he talks to himself. Now, usually, it's like someone sees things, but he doesn to let it out. Men, if there's a problem, he'll tell it to himself. Usually, it's like someone sees something, but he doesn't see it.

Oh, I understand that. I'm also a man. Sometimes I... Yes, it's true.

Sometimes, where's my brain?

But I'm aware.

Yes, you're aware. Because you're discussing.

Discussing.

With yourself. Yes. Women should... We are discussing with ourselves. I only knew about women in 2006. They got married in 1992. From 1992 to 2006, they fought because of that. We should calm down first.

Because when a man finds an alternative solution in his problem, he will tell us. When a man to tell, then he wants to tell. Men, when they get a solution, they tell. Yes, get an alternative solution, then want to tell his partner. Why didn't he tell before there was a solution? He's a gangster, right?

No, men's brains, if there's a problem, he'll talk to himself first.

Designed like that?

Yes, designed like that. That's why ancient humans, when they were hunting, the result of the hunt was that they climbed a rock to watch the sun set. Because there was no TV yet. When they were watching, they were reviewing. What was wrong with me when I was hunting?

Contemplation.

And planning where I would hunt tomorrow. And I didn't want my wife to come by and ask, why are you here? You want to tell me?

It's annoying.

I'm your wife.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does the girl know that?

If you're not married, you don't know that. Yeah, yeah.

It's annoying.

But Miss Olive knows.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sitting there, and she just comes. He just came and asked, have you eaten? I said, later.

That's how it should be.

That's how it should be?

That's how it should be. Why did you learn from Dr. Aisah?

I was wrong. You're tired, right? I was the one who brought you closer.

You were the one who accompanied her.

Because you felt that's what was needed. Because we women, if there's a problem, we want to be accompanied That's our setting, we don't know So when I ask, why do I want to be your wife? Why don't you tell me? I'm your soulmate

Yes, I understand Then the husband says, shut up, it hurts

Yes

Mars Venus, female Yes, Mars VenusVenus, the two planets are different.

Okay.

But they support each other. Yes. The opposite is men feel that if there is a problem, they should think about it. Right? Look at the woman. If you ask her,

if she's angry, the first answer is always no.

No, but it's the same.

Yes, no. And she doesn't want to see her husband's face. If you ask her, if she's angry, she says no. But in her heart, she keeps asking. She keeps asking. That's why there are tips.

There are tips for this social solution. If you see your wife is angry, please ask her three times. Ask her three times. Don't be late three times. Yes, ask her three times. Between the questions 1, 2, 3, give her a time limit. A time limit. How do you do it?

Give her three minutes. Mom, are you angry? No. That's for sure. Almost all women. I'm like that too. Okay, leave it for now. Yes, wait a minute, mom is mad, right? No, that's for sure, almost all women I'm like that too Okay, leave it for now Mom is mad at me, the second one, right away Who's mad? It's a loss

Different response

From the first one, it's starting to get soft Okay Third question Mom is mad at me, then we can say Dad never understood me Oh, the key And be careful I'm If there is a separation like that, what should be done by both sides?

Separation is a PR. There are many PRs. It's called separation. PR. Separation. PR. But there are many PRs. Yes, but it's also a way for everyone to be healthy.

That's the intention. I'm Ibu kamu itu bahaya. Itu bahaya. Anak itu akan, mau kemana nih? Kanan, kiri, kanan.

Bingung dia.

Ya, bingung. Karena kan gak mungkin ini dua-duanya. Dan kadang-kadang kita tampak rasa, ini anak jadi tempat sampahnya ke dua orang tuanya yang marah ini. Itu bahaya. Itu gak fair sama sekali.

Bisa takut ini anak menikah. I'm afraid of having a child. But this is the trauma that eventually becomes a legacy.

Yes, yes, yes.

In a way. And how can we fix it all? That's what becomes the goal of life for each person. To be at peace with their lives and their traumas. But not everyone is as lucky as that. Not separated from any religion.

Because all memories are stored in two places, in the brain and in the skull. Especially the memories that tie very extreme emotions. Very sad, very angry, very upset, very angry. Which also includes very happy, very happy, very grateful. The very, very two places, here and here. Okay, now we will answer some questions from our netizens that we have prepared.

The theme today is actually I want to ask questions from netizens. But why am I the one talking? Okay guys, there are questions from a doctor who is not a doctor yet. He asks, how do we fall in love repeatedly with a partner? Especially when the focus of love is already shared with the child. There's a research, I just read it in 2010.

We can fall in love with the same person repeatedly. That's why in a marriage, we can fall in love with the same person repeats. That's why in a marriage, we can fall in love and repeat it with our husband. But you already have love. Yes, but... You already have love. So, love in neurobiology is a hormone.

There's dopamine, there's oxytocin, there's serotonin. There's a lot of it. dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and many more. There is a place for those hormones, called the spleen. The spleen does not continuously release those hormones. It must be stimulated to release those love hormones. When stimulated, it comes out, That's why the condition we call it,

fall in love. Fall in love again. That's it.

Stimulated?

Yes, stimulated. Now, the best stimulation in this adult with techniques is called Neuro Linguistic Program. So, Neuro is the brain, linguistic language, program.

So, there is a connection between the brain and the language program. So, in order to fall in love again, we have to speak. Of course, in order to speak more powerfully, because all of this is God's creation, so we say, God, I love my husband more. Say his name. Ya Tuhan, saya semakin cinta pada suamiku. Ah, sebut nama suaminya.

Gitu.

Doa nih, maksudnya?

Itu lebih kepada self-affirmation.

Oh, kayak ngomong sendiri?

Self-talk, iya.

Oh, itu penting ya? Ya, penting. Penting. Sama pentingnya gitu, pas kita lihat cermin, that's an important affirmation. That sentence, that's why NLP studied it, that sentence will run through our body's nervous system, it will run through our body, because our nervous system is like an electric cable.

So, whatever is seen, whatever is said, whatever is heard, it will run. It will run. That's why it's necessary for him to see old photos.

It stimulates.

Yes, it stimulates. The hormone of love is in the place. That's great. I've forgotten about this for a long time. I've learned about this. It's great to be reminded again. Yes, yes. There are beautiful things that we put.

Wedding photos, photos of children when they were young. That's also good, stimulation when we want to separate, that's the last stimulation. See again, is it worth it to separate? And the good thing is that the memory can be stored in many places. Even in the clouds.

I hope it can enough to answer. I was also enlightened too, oh yes, it's true.

Because there are many memories, many files. There are memories of being scolded because I came home late, there are happy memories too. If in the Quran, fa'foo anhum wa astaghfirullahum maka maafkanlah mereka dan mohankan ampun bagi mereka ampuni dia Quran Quran Quran

Quran

Quran Quran Quran Quran Yes. Okay. When you forgive once, only one is left. Correct.

So, keep forgiving. I believe because I've done it and it works. And you also have to know that this neuron, when we untie the knot, with the forgiveness earlier, but it can't be released.

Yes, it remains.

That's why there is a term, I can forgive but I can't forget.

Because it's impossible to forget.

If you let go of the insomnia, the dementia, not the insomnia, the dementia.

It's more like a disease.

Or Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's, and that's not good.

That's why when you say, how can I forget all my husband's mistakes? You want Alzheimer's?

Yes. Until you forget your husband's name. That's weird, I can't forget all my husband's mistakes. Ibu Muazzamer,

until she forgot her husband's name.

That's weird.

She can't. That's why I agree. If you want to forget, forget it. You can't forget your mistakes. But what you can do is to forgive.

So you will always remember that the last thing that happened at that time

was that we were at peace. Yes. So there is also wisdom, right? There is wisdom. There, you can be caught for learning.

Yes.

I've been there, but it's the same. At the beginning of the marriage, making coffee is too sweet. Her husband was angry, why is it too sweet? I don't understand, so I was taught. One like this, for me, one teaspoon is tea. I was taught. One like this for me, one teaspoon of tea.

I made three.

Yes, it's different.

Yes, yes.

That's normal.

Well, it's tied. I'm tied. Because at that time I was insulted and I was embarrassed. I'm tied.

Oh, it's tied.

Oh, it's in the heart, right?

Yes, yes. Because it ties extreme emotions. Okay. So it's stored here and stored here. That's why there's a saying, where does it hurt? It hurts here.

Hahaha.

I'm sorry.

I don't know.

For example, yes, for example.

So be careful.

At that time, before I apologized, it was strange, the next day it was repeated again.

Making coffee to sweetness.

Why does coffee become like this?

Because it's still all tied up here and here information here and here it goes to the body's nervous system to do it by hand without realizing it like on purpose? not on purpose, without realizing it

because it's the command, the command the brain commands, the brain commands because our logic is something that we should not do again yes, so why did he repeat it? Because at that time I didn't forgive him, I was angry. It's just a cup of coffee.

The third time. So, forgiving is amazing. After I forgave him, I still remember this event only for learning that he wanted

one cup of coffee with one teaspoon of tea. But when it wasn't enough, I still wanted to make it. I still wanted to make it. This woman, only for learning, that she wants a cup of coffee, just one teaspoon. But when she hasn't forgiven, it's repeated again. Yes, that's what I call, we live in the same mistake. Okay, here's an important question from Genset friends.

What is the actual cause of the avoidoidance and how to deal with it? Do you know the avoidance? Wait a minute, I have to ask them which one is it. Which one?

Which detail? The man. The man. I don't understand the avoidance. What is it? Try to explain it first.

Like that. What is it? Try to explain it first. Oh.

Like that.

Yes, that one, yes.

The one with the cold.

Like this.

Women think a lot or label cold men because of the men's brains too.

One, men talk a little. Yes, he's just here. He's just here.

He's just here.

He's just here.

He's brains too. Okay. One, men talk a little. Yes, he's only here. Yes, only one. Yes, it used to be counted by the experts at King's College London. Men, because here, the words in a day are only 7,000.

Women, 20,000.

Yes, it's different.

Yes, it's different, right? So, in certain conditions, sometimes, the husband says 7,000 is already spent. Because of his job.

Yes, he uses it for his job.

When he meets his wife, his wife still talks, because we get 20,000.

Yes.

And the husband just... We consider men to be cold.

This is also one of the avoidance.

Men are cold. Or the long distance relationship, we just give a thumbs up. We consider him to be really cold. But actually, the men's awareness is already exhausted.

The 7,000 is already exhausted. So what does the woman want there? She wants to talk again, like that? So, this doesn't mean that men can't try to lengthen the sentence a little.

Over time.

Yes, yes. But it has to be realized. To realize it, you have to know, oh, because the woman has 20,000 words, and the brain is happy to hear that. That's the input, the touch for the husband, for how he adapts or interacts with his wife. My husband is already smart.

So, men also have to understand the context.

Yes, yes. My husband used to be just, Oka, Oka, so annoying. When I was answered, Oka, in my heart, yes, see? Oka, see? He doesn? OKA! Not OK, OKA. He didn't want to talk to me anymore.

That's how it is.

You can catch it like that. Yes, yes. Even though the point of the man hasn't been determined yet. Not that.

Yes, yes. At the time of learning this difference, now my attitude is different. Answered OKA, I'm a man, my husband. Why did it happen? I don't know, I just answered, okay. It means the words are gone.

It means it's normal.

Normal.

It means there's no problem.

I just laughed.

My husband is a man.

My son passed by, why did you just write okay? Understanding, back to understanding. Understanding, the input is knowledge. Yes, it started from... Understanding is the input of knowledge. Yes, it started from the source of knowledge.

The source of knowledge. And that's the most important.

The middle way. Learning. Learning means understanding. Then there's more. Why do women often, wives often consider men cold? Indeed, men, when they arrive at a place, especially at home,

10 to 15 minutes first, because there is a testosterone hormone, I'm not going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it.

I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I was happy, I was excited, I was angry, and the first 10 minutes, I had the same face. You didn't know?

I didn't know. Oh, you waited?

Yes. And that's when we thought, are you happy to go home? Because my wife was smiling, I greeted her. Men don't want to smile, they load for 10 minutes.

Yes, I'm like that too.

Like, if I'm done somewhere, it's like, wait a minute, it's like it takes time, right? Give extra time first Yes, it's testosterone

Like gathering mood too, what else

That's testosterone, that's how it works So women don't get it wrong Yes, after I understood that, there was no longer labeling my husband as cold, my husband as a jerk, my husband as a jerk No more My husband is actually very man husband is a jerk, my husband is a jerk. My husband is actually a man.

Yes, because he already understands.

That's why the importance of this information.

Yes, understanding is born from a process. The process will be seen if it is done together. What if one of them doesn't want to do it anymore? But the other is still refusing to undergo the treatment. But the other one is still trying to live.

That's what I was talking about. When I was counseling, I was looking for someone to treat. I want to know who it is. Who should be treated. I couldn't just have my husband and wife come and do the counseling together. They would be like,

My husband, my wife, my husband. I always ask for my wife first.

Your wife first?

Yes, my wife first. Wife first? Yes, wife first.

Why?

Because in women's program, there is a program that is fun to learn. Okay. That's one. Second, a wife who is quickly connected to the brain, both in the brain and in the pelvis.

Especially here.

That's why it is said that women's feelings are more dominant. Yes. Because here. Women are also the ones who are stimulated to release their stress hormones. Okay. Balance. Yes, yes. That's why, from this condition,

even though the scale was 9, and the men were 2, the women should go first. Oh, it's still being tried, even though the men are already two? Yes, so that if the women are nine and the men are two, we can prepare the women if the husband has left them.

We prepare the women. That's from my side, because I'm a woman. Only women understand women.

That's right. That's why the phone who understand women. It's in.

That's why the phone is for women.

Yes, it's in. I understand.

So we strengthen him. Men are behind. And what's unique from the electromagnetic wave science if a woman is calm, her husband is calm, The unique thing is, from the perspective of the electromagnetic wave, if a woman is calm, her husband is calm, her child is calm three times, so it's one, two, three. That's why don't ever make your woman unhappy, because the man will live a life full of misery.

So, I always have a principle, make the woman always feel in a condition she is safe and comfortable. Yes, that's right. If you can make that, you are the happiest man in the world.

At any cost.

Because men, we talked about this 2 years ago, there are more than one hypothalamus here, which is the center of security, including the security of the people. Yes, that includes the security of the household, the security of the economy.

Yes, the security of dignity. And it can be tied together. Yes, small problems never end, economic problems, finally a dispute. Because it's like domino style. Yes, yes, yes, there is a dispute, it can be KDFT. Ah, domino style? Yes, yes, yes. He's a bit of a cheater, he can be a KDRT. Ah, domino again. Yes, yes, yes.

Because one of them knew, but didn't want to admit it. He got KDRT. So he's like a domino KDRT? Yes, after KDRT, he's drunk. Can you do that? Yes, yes.

We women often, at the beginning, the husband is annoyed when we are given money to spend and told to write it down.

Okay.

That's annoying.

Okay.

Write it down, or report it to me.

Why?

Why is it annoying? It's considered, why are you wanting to control it so much? Oh, it's uncomfortable for the woman? Uncomfortable. What makes it uncomfortable? I'm thinking to come to an ittingy banger. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can understand men who ask for everything to be recorded. Instead of me asking, you are so upset.

It's better if you record it so I can see. So I know, oh, poor thing, my wife has a lot of money. That's from a man's point of view. Because earlier, to maintain economic security. Yes, data, we need data. Yes, to maintain the economy. But on the other hand, women feel,

you don't believe me.

Oh, it can be like that?

Oh, just like that?

And if it's every day, I earn money every day.

Okay.

And it has happened at one point. For example, ask, even my husband's meaning is probably the one I told you about, but I only found out after learning about men's brains.

So you're back to talking, talking, talking, talking.

I've returned a credit card. Because I was just asked, what did you buy? I don't know what that word is, what did you buy? Making content, huh? I don't need it. So, in that context, I can try to understand why wives who think their husbands are stingy, even though they might not be stingy, because they were protecting their safety. So, both are not wrong, but both are lacking. Lacking or not knowing? Although maybe her husband is not stingy, because he was the one who kept her safe. So both of them are not wrong, but both of them are lacking.

Lacking what? Lacking knowledge.

Closing question. Have you ever had a question that Dr. Aisyah could not answer?

Actually, I couldn't answer every question at first.

Oh, you couldn't answer at first?

But I was straight to my heart. Like earlier, how many times, Rabbi, Zidni, Ilman, Warzuk, Nifaman, Ya Allah, increase my knowledge, increase my intelligence to answer this question.

Oh, with that kind of motivation.

Why? Because there is a lot of input here. There is a lot of data, but in this short time, to be precise, what needs to be released is to pray first. When you pray, here it's relaxed, right?

Here it was relaxed. Here, there were connections, neurons connections, to release this.

It's similar. I never felt like I knew. But in our hearts, we prayed. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, God, can I answer if God doesn't want me to answer? Yes, yes.

I'm like that. Sometimes I do counseling, or seminars, or podcasts. Because if I want to explain in detail, it's not a podcast, it's a seminar.

Yes, it's not fun either.

Read a book from page one to page three.

Maybe that's what makes Dr. Aisy are so many things that people like. Because it comes from experience and can be related to people's lives. I hope this video can be useful for you. Because as good as humans are, they are useful for you. Because as good as humans are, they are useful for you.

Thank you.