Ep 598 - Night Shadow (feat. Dan Soder, Chris O'Connor, Billy)

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wes. Yeah, dude. You know, where is that? You, dude.

Reggie's a parmesan or a while our at baby.

You spit that on your phone. No, no, no. I was eating earlier and I had like this. I maybe a little ranch dipped on that is what it is. Little patina didn't hurt anyone. You got some ranch on your phone?

Dude, it smells, though.

No.

It smells like ranch.

Do you ever spit up that stuff that was like a tinder as a kid?

No.

You ever spit up like a ball of just...

Oh, like phlegm or what?

No.

It was like, I think it was like a thing that my buddy had it real bad He had to have like surgery yeah, it was like something wrong with his tonsils or something But like I think there's a period during your adolescence where you can cough up. It's just like a solid house tons of tartar You tell me like a pocket in the back of your throat. Yeah, yeah, I guess it's a tonsil stone Yeah, like a gumball machine they smell like fucking asshole What is it it's just fucking gunk and your tonsils they like it's little like deposits of shit Damn, it's just like did you do that is that what's happening?

It only happened like once but my buddy had it so bad he had to get like surgery you smelled it

I did smell that when it came up. I like I was like did he won? Did he one time it? Tagged him off. Tag and throw. It was like an alien egg dude.

Because I smelled it and it didn't smell like anything and I broke it and it was like

Oh my God.

You were a curious man.

I mean dude if you got one of those

He did gender altering He tried to poke his nipples when they were getting puffy as a boy. I know a kid who did that but his dad had him on HGH and his nipples started lactating.

And then he put a fucking pin in it and squeezed it.

Can I tell you as a puff nipple guy, that's crazy. Forever? Listen, I've been a puffy nipple since I was a boy, but here's what you do a side tickle, get them things down. Oh, really? And you look great.

This gets your nipples down?

You just go like, you tickle it with a hat and you get like, yeah, hard nipples.

You get cold nipples.

You get your nipples hard before you get in the pool.

Yeah, why not? I'm not walking around with puffy nipples. Puffy nipples makes you look cribbles. Always, dog. Yeah, just like and you never thought about getting rid of him. No what am I the rock? You know the rock had nipple surgery really yeah What he was like Rocky Maivia And he came in he had like big puffy nipples, and then you see him a couple years later

And it like looks like you got to do that. Yeah, if you're a pro wrestler you can't Fog in disaster You just definitely a heel there's nothing you can do have straps. That's straps if you're pro wrestler. You in the Vader suit?

Sometimes you gotta get a surgery because you're, like, if you take steroids, you get like gyno and you get like fluid buildup in your nipples. Wouldn't know, lifetime natural, but. You are lifetime natural.

Matt's juice to the gills. I saw a picture of him the other day, dude. He's like actually like fussed and big. Looks like Jocko Willink.

He's juice to the gills.

Dude, I saw a picture of him in the back.

He looks like he fucked his dick. Can I make my birthday party good? Don't want to make me a call on my 40th? Good. Yeah, Mass Juice of the Gills. We pray for him. We pray. Dude, I hope he just takes over Austin when you're gone. You come back and there's gates built? He's fully, yeah, that's the Austin lifestyle.

He's juiced, dude.

Biohacking? Yeah, you gotta go down there, get giant with hot dog neck. And that's, yeah, that's good stuff. Well, I'm glad you're here dude. I want to settle this Austin, New York beef once it's the case It's like it is like a

Yeah, the Lemaire thing was like I didn't know. I got told like Bush got told the towers got hit. I sat down for the regs and they whispered into my ear and I was like, he said the mayor got attacked. They're got crushed. We put his tweet at the end of our intro this week. Did you see it? Yeah. Listen, no. I mean, I don't know. It's it's wonderful. MSNBC brain is crazy because now that means you also have stuck through the shifting through the through the trans surgery that the network went through. It's like, that's my dead name. My new network name is SN. Yeah, he's all about that shit. Really? I swear to God, if

it's on the view, he agrees. He could be the sixth chair on it. Just to let you know where LaMera's brain is, my grandmother. He's the guardian of the mantle. My grandmother before she died, I want to say like 93 to 97, would just, we should wake up and just blare the view at like 73 volume so not be in her that's what's happening in my house right now I just wake up in here like joy they are being like I'm sorry he's not okay

look what kind of like as grandma's guest bedroom like what the fuck is that let me see that's me I'll tell to Alex Jones might be the biggest victim of this Epstein shit because like he tried and then he fell for the Hillary shit, and then he kept falling into Epstein traps Joe Rogan to Yeah, fully concise thought it makes I can't even I can't even decipher what that means I love I think what do you think of me? I think it's one of those things where you look at it backwards and see the pattern. Remember he was speaking to us strictly in code.

Like listening to Led Zeppelin backwards. He was Dershowitz the whole time.

Yeah.

He was telling us.

That's high level. The only time I talk to the man now is-

Maddo undercover in a suit.

Just my-

My hair is what character? My ring camera, on my ring camera I see him pick up his grub hub. So I get to any time everything I get to talk to him, we go put the fucking Twitter down, bro. Delete your Twitter. He's like, okay, I will. I got some good photos of him scratching. You have a Nat Geo camera of La Mer. It is. It's like those live cameras of falcons on skyscrapers.

You go, ooh, he's eating again.

That's him. That's him taking off. That's so fucking funny. You should put it on the like local Facebook group. Has anyone seen this man?

The front of a film collecting his pizza. Please turn him into Austin Sasquatch.

Oh no.

Oh that's so high like you. I love them. I call's so great. You gotta make a highlight video.

You choose the two. I love them. You gotta call him to wake him up, to order a Grubhub and fall asleep. Yes. And I'll just keep checking the ring camera and be like, dude, your food's still outside. It's been outside for two hours.

You don't wanna fall asleep. Rick Ross to him picking up all the you know grub up

Yeah, that's that's what he's up to

Excuse me. What why'd you touch my leg bro companionship? Okay? Nothing more. I did that the other night I ordered McDonald's for the first time in a long time which night arch has called your name. I think it was Friday could have been Saturday was I with you because you've been putting together some performance Really? Comment yeah, well, I will say the whole crew cuz we got to work Monday through Friday So then Friday rolls around you go Squads not used to not be able to drink during the week like

You got so you pull the dastardly trick on Saturday where you were like What are you doing? And I was like I'm gonna go across the street and watch the Flyers game And you were like you gave me every indication you'd show up, and then I just started throwing them back

Shut up to the bar like 9 9 10 p.m.. He was already back in bed bed fucking ripped by himself at a dive bar and then blame you he's like where were you told you I was going I said I'm sorry drinking why didn't you are you there it would have been nice I feel like I had something to do I don't think I couldn't have gotten day drunk no you were thinking about going the Sixers oh yeah they'll double header it was a workout. It would have been nice. It would have been nice, but you shit your pants. We can't go. We can know we can't go today. Flyers game. Yeah, we can. That was another disaster.

Now that was him. Derosa and Beezer to a Flyers game. Screw it is a rough crew. That's like a bank heist That's a bet that's just all the bad guy from heat The whole crows way Langrois you guys are all fucking bad. Well the roaster was the he was the the key to the fall Give it you fall. I Swear, I was doing shots. He's always suggesting doing do that I wasn't drinking at the game really I might have had three beers

Yeah, so then we go to a bar after I'm talking to Chris. I turn my head for 15 minutes I look back. He's like asleep. It's like what the fuck happened to you. He's a deroses How is he so I look to my rightosa's over. Just a head in the hands. Head in the hands, yeah. Do you do the heads up seven up sleep on the bar? Probably do a little. Oh, you do a little kid picture?

Yes.

Yeah.

That's such an adorable. He's like a sleeping dog.

You're like.

That's funny. You're watching his eyes close. Yeah. Dude, taking a little day siesta from booze.

At a bar.

That's crazy.

We went hard the night before.

Yeah. And then I made it through the game and into the night.

Game, you were great.

And people were taking performance enhancers.

Yeah.

Adderall? Yeah, I refused the performance enhancers.

It was great, dude. Adderall hitting the drinking scene was like steroids and baseball in the late 90s. You were like motherfuckers were hitting diggers in ways that you were like.

It's probably responsible for like 75% of the DUIs.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm absolutely fine.

You find that data, you'll see a spike.

You're fucking 100% there mentally. You're like, I'll drive right now. Yeah, you're totally fine.

He's witnessed me in my strongest. Let's get out. My body shuts down and all.

So I'm like, dude, I'm ready to go if you are. I can't walk.

We're fucked, we gotta stay here. One of the most embarrassing drunks I've ever been was I did an all-nighter in Vegas when I was like in my 20s and my friend and I were gambling late and I was so drunk I dropped a chip. It was a hundred dollar chip and the guy was like Jesus Christ and I was like I can't find it. He was just like well I was looking for it. I just remember him go like this. Well I can't help you look for it. And I was gone. It's a hundred dollar

chip and I and I want I needed to write something down and I couldn't write and I was like this is fucking I found the chip means that means get dangerous at that hour to lean over cuz you're yeah You're your vector is much smaller And I'm not joking I want to put a time at around 630 in the morning in Vegas, that's terrible It's a terrible way to go. Yeah

That's like the all pro kick. What? In Madden was, oh yeah.

You're like, this could go good. Probably not. When you're falling into the moment of acceptance, there is like a little like- There's so much time, dude. You go. When you're drunk full, there's so much time to be like, no way, I'm falling.

It fucking kills. Back in the day, Artie Fuqua would just have women with him at the cellar. So you'd finish a show at the cellar and Artie would be like, oh, you don't know my homegirl? And it'd be like two Swiss women that you'd be like,

hey, nice to meet you. I was blackout and Artie was like, hi, my Australian friends and they're like we got into all the tile and drinking you want to go and I goes blackout and I was On the patio smoking a cigarette and I came in and didn't see a table and took a shot block On my right leg where I fucking dude. I still remember how long that follows cuz I was like, whoa It just ate shit but got up quick and was like, it was the thing where you check your shin later

and you go, oh, I just fucking busted. But dude, I remember that, just butt, and they're like, are you all right? And you're like, I'm all right.

Yeah.

What?

What did you not see?

Yeah.

Being in Westchester in the snow.

Is that recovery?

Did you see the recovery? It's bringing it back for me big time. I used to bite it. Yeah. Every, I'll be here in college. There's, no, but there's snow and ice. Everything's a brick sidewalk here, so it'd be frozen. I'd just be like, trying to leave a bar. I'd fall like 10 times.

I'd be just into snowbanks.

Just like.

It's tough to get out of.

It's like a beanbag chair. You're getting up hammered. Oh a slippery substance Original brewski Thomas backs the house Fate was the original brewski tumble yeah, it's made it like blew his fucking eyebrow Do when bloods involved it's so it makes it funnier

Yeah, oh my pop-up you should do it like every like three months.

I was taking Bruce.

Dude, he's a beat like he would just watch the Phillies. We go over there Sunday and then like every like five to six months, the ambulance would come because he'd be out back and he just fucking eat shit. And he was like 72. So he would just like be bleeding out of his head. I'm OK. I'm okay. They just bring him to the hospital and bring him back. He's scared. Yeah. I forgot Phil took a brewski tumble recently.

He gets fucked up on the bed. He fell on the deck. So it was loud as hell. Ruined the house, heard it. He came out and he was laying on the ground laughing. They're like, get up. Yeah. It is like, uh, my grandma was in like, when she started falling in her 80s, they are less worried about it than you are. My grandma, or my grandma called me one time, was just like, yeah, I fell in the garage. She lived by herself, and I was like,

how long were you down there for? And she was like, it's like 20 minutes. And you're like, you're just on your, you're just like, huh, huh. on the god's floor and then she's like, I got it. Just getting up. Not today. Every trip to the basement's 127 hours. Yeah, she just lives her life.

I'm ready to cut it off.

I'll cut it the fuck off.

Man.

Yeah, you're lucky if you get old and fall like that. I mean, that's a good life. That must be crazy. Constantly taking basically the equivalent of drunk falls. Just can't get up. Say you're 80, you go, this is gonna be tough getting out of this chair.

Oh, dude.

I'm gonna fall and die. You just shatter my arm.

You just think back to every Christmas on the whole fall. You're like, oh, that one in 96 was real good. Shit, just fucking heading for the ground. I'm talking about before my grandma, she was falling a lot before she died. One of them, she went to turn the faucet on behind her house.

She fell behind a bush and got stuck behind her house for like, she had to wait till the neighbor's kids came home from school, was laying under the bush like,

hello boy. Hello.

I was like, they probably thought I was a witch. They're probably like, it's so scary. And I'm like, that bush is too hot. And then you see an old woman's face like, it's so scary, dude.

It's gonna probably sprinted inside.

Help me.

Dude, turning off a drippy hose,

scary as a little kid.

Yeah. Yeah.

You never know which way to turn it.

I've turned it on full blast. Yeah, you never know which way to turn it

The muds all wet yeah

We had that going on jump through the sprinkler. It's been going on at my house really yeah the water kept shutting off

Yeah, the sensor so it just keeps shutting the water off. I'm so they don't are fucking below the pipes our hose was on

For like four days Dean you said in the swampy at all backyard. Yeah, no, it's frozen It was a school device So I got that going on now, you know now you know that's something you know I've never been in a house where the water shuts off like that. We'll kick on if you take a long shower No, you got a I bet it actually would you'd have to take like three hours. Yeah, same guy. Yeah the same I Just want to reach for you down that

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How did you feel about the Super Bowl game?

Kind of boring, and every decision I made I was wrong. I was going for high numbers, a lot of touchdowns, stuff like that. I was real wrong on my choices. But I feel like I'm gonna be, what about you, what'd you think about it?

I don't know, I mean, I barely watched it. I was in and out, kind of like messing with the kids and stuff. I did one of those like block pool things and all the numbers, you didn't even know what they were.

It was all like random and I didn't do well on that.

Double loss.

Yeah, it was a double loss for sure. Discuss what sports you're excited about now the NFL is over.

I mean, I'm hype on basketball. I've been hype on basketball. I was trying to get into hockey this year. The Flyers were looking really good to start the season. They stink now. So kind of a bummer. How about the hockey in the Winter Olympics? That'll be fun. That'll be good. US vs. Canada. Awesome. Hopefully we got them this time. Yeah.

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Yeah, so that's that's basically what's been going on with me. I know I haven't done the podcast in That's the update that's what's going on backyards floated like a sunburn That's the update. That's what's going on. Backyard's flooded like on Sunday. Matt's carrying the load right now. Yo, Matt's got it all.

That's why he's juiced up, though.

He's got to carry it.

I mean, you show me he's got to carry the boats. For what? You guys have Peter Ortega on?

I wasn't there. That's Matt's boy, dude. That's Matt's boy. one of the major Epstein bros on. I don't know anything about it. He's like a dude who tried to do $250,000 to live forever. And he was like, I don't really know much about Epstein. Like I taught him a few times and like, there's just all these correspondents and allegedly like his kid was dying and his memoir talks about it. And then he was actually just in New York and he's like, yeah, I'll go. I'll come Jill and his book. He's like dude. I was just I was

drowning in work But he's just he said he was enamored by famous people and he really didn't mean it He does know about any the pedophilia stuff so that getting caught like your email Oh, yeah getting leaked and you know like text messages got leaked Oh, somebody was telling me they were gonna add the future of who shared, what you shared on Instagram. I have to explain how it's a joke. Like to each other?

No.

Yeah, somebody mentioned that to me. I hope that's not true.

That's the destruction of society. In an Instagram reel it'll say who shared it. No, don't do that.

Which if that happens, we're in trouble.

Don't do that.

What do you mean? I don't know how they do who liked it or who follows you. I have to say who shared this. Maybe the person, but is that? No, no, not yet, don't worry, I'm with you. I'm telling you right now, that's the only thing that might get. He said dude's kissing is a joke. No one can see that, dude's kissing is a joke.

Dude's kissing is a funny, I think I'll say yes one to all you guys, but yeah, that's you see booty. Well. Yeah, that's what I sent back to you is the why are you gay? No, I'm not worried about the gay stuff. Yeah, dude, but that would that might be the only thing that would be What emails no if they fucking Start showing you who share shit that between us

It's a fun. I thought you said if he got on the Epstein file now that shit won't get you trouble eyes It'll just be like one zero zero zero one one one one zero zero zero Dude how you feel your boys on the hill your boy Trump you move wrong place All you know what are you gonna do Good could have called that one, but you know. All right, we don't have to.

I had to. We don't want politics here. They say that, but at the same time, it's like. There's other people that are like way worse. Guys are trying to make America great again. Then that would happen.

The fuck?

Sometimes you need a speed bump.

I hear you.

I hear you.

Tiny speed bumps. Like mesh me that I was like dude. I fell for QAnon like what's it you expect? Obviously this shit's going to happen and it's going to get me every time Addins a nasty little fucker and patterns on there. He's like boys with that. Yeah, oh they like cultivated the culture war They like created it you read it you go. I knew it Yeah, I knew someone smarter than all of us was behind this going like you two should fight. Yeah.

Yeah. Go fuck.

Dude, there's like a four hour long interview with him on like PBS.

That's like incredible.

Really?

Bannon.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

America just watched all of his shit.

Rocks.

Shit rocks. He's yeah. Like starts talking about like Cincinnati and shit like that. Yeah. you like turn on to be like, fuck this fucking guy. And then you're like, oh shit. Oh man.

No, he's a really good toy.

He's pretty, yeah.

He's good at.

Yeah.

You listen to him.

He wouldn't even talk though.

He was a little effeminate.

A little bit.

Is he?

Oh dude, there's like, he's showing his private eye. He's like, this is my pool. It's like very... Yeah. Might be the ultimate reverse. He might've. I'm not a pedophile, I'm just gay. Might hit the old spacey.

Yeah, I ain't doing any of that shit.

For the record, I'm gay.

That was the best. Shit rocks. What a move. What a Houdini out of cuffs. How could I be raping women when I like men? I think they were all male accusations. There was still guys, he's like, right? But I'm gay.

Should've Kaiser Sosa, they should've crippled, they should've done the reverse. Then he's sorry. After he got caught, he'd be like,

actually I'm fucked up.

Oh no, I actually have a limp, You can't come after me. That's that with Noam Chomsky. Noam Chomsky's all over it. He's just old as balls. He's like fucking, he looks like something a cat spit out. Chomsky's all over it. Noam Chomsky's all of boy.

That's not my boy. I fucking hate that guy.

You love that shit.

I hate that.

You're a liberal history.

Chomsky what a centrist yeah I'm so in the center. It's unbelievable you guys wish oh you mean Chris the balanced O'Connor Well sure he's for guns, but he's also for fucking universal health care in a way, that's pretty taxpayer-friendly Now you're talking the actual balanced all right guns this guy screams and cries about guns Maybe you've changed your mind. This is great. Oh, you know we shot guns together. Yeah You guys went to the range you you've always been pro guns. Yeah, when did I have a problem with you? Oh, okay?

That's new

Damn, I think we should do something to keep

Yeah Damn, I think we should do something to keep you. Oh, well, that for sure. Yeah, it's one way to put it.

Oh, you one of those you Voldy liberals. I bet you think cops shouldn't have Punisher logos on their phone too while they're waiting for the country.

It became cool for the libs to let guns. I'd say five years ago.

No, I split everybody. Now liberals are like, dude, I'm fucking. No, no. Well, that was now a punisher school. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but but the teeth are the rainbow. The LGBT here. Have you ever watched a punisher logo with Brent or Barenthal?

Yeah, I watched it. Fucking sick. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. He's got PTSD, which is what he should have. He's just a full fucking vigilante with PTSD and I let you know the the scene where like it's check spots for me. I was dying watching that once he put the skull on his chest I was

like holy shit cops think this is them. Yeah. There's cops out there like that's pretty much

it. They don't understand that he's in so many edits that cops share on Instagram. It's like, it's like him putting the thing on, and the Punisher edit. Punisher's a good ass. Season one, good as fuck.

It's great.

I gotta watch it. I never watched it.

Season he did with Daredevil was great too. I didn't see that one. Season three of Daredevil or shit, where Punisher comes in, fucking rules. Multivarious hit crossover. love the Punisher that had like what's the guy from Hong in it? What's that guy? Oh yeah, that was great. Aaron. Yeah. Is that Aaron Eckhart? No, it was a kind of looks like him though. Yeah, but I know what you're talking about. The shit was awesome. Was Hong about

a dude with a big dick? Yeah. He's about a gigolo. Oh, okay. I remember I tried it and I never watched it. He, by the way, that's how this sound bullshit. It was all of his class for just sexy. Oh, yeah, it's not like old gross gay do themselves It's obviously that's every jugular Juggalos, I guess I watch you know, I want to watch you play with your bill could have old dudes You're Thomas Jane. Yes, Thomas James is beating off for like a dude that looks like the guy that put together in sync sink. I won't tell you. It should have been the pilot episode.

Eagle.

It's a Lew, it's a guy, what's that guy's name? Lew...

Witzke? No.

No, that's fucking shout out qualifier. Don't do that. Petipa. Lew Witzke? Petipa. Oh yeah, that's such a funny edit.

Petipa.

Patriot.

Traitor.

Retard.

Mental retard.

Mental retard. I'm a traitor. I'm a traitor. I'm a traitor. I'm a traitor. I'm a traitor. I'm a traitor.

I'm a traitor.

I'm a traitor.

I'm a traitor. I'm a traitor. What point do they get naked? Yeah, do you ever turn it off? Rarely, yeah. You miss the golden age. It was tough to catch a beat to Sex and the City. I got it done, but it was tough. I'm just going to go Mad Dog on, what's the flashing one?

Oh.

The infomercial one.

The air girls go wild. Well, that was a guaranteed. Rock hard. Yeah, way for it. I don't know what that was yet. Oh man. It was a hard few years.

All those years of you just going to bed with a full tank.

I don't know what this is.

Oh my God, but then the first Z's after you pull it, where you go, I think I've just reached a different state of life.

Now I was panicked because I had no idea what was going on. I freaked the fuck out.

That night of sleep was like- The first night you busted. Yep. After I busted I was like, do I need to tell my parents? Did I break something? Oh yeah. Yeah. I just laid in bed and I was like, I hope the same shit, but you had brought hope. I didn't do any. I don't know what to say I was like, great, my season's over. I just tore everything in my leg.

I don't know what that was, but I'm done.

Were you dead? Because you know what's funny is were you dead asleep?

Yeah, it was in the morning. It was in the morning and I got a calf cramp. It was my, I think it was either my sophomore year going into my junior or junior. It was the offseason. It was right before football started and I was genuinely like seasons done. I Just tore everything. That's the most painful thing I've ever had Yeah, my my shit was atrocious because I did have older brothers and I had a portable DVD player and I found one of their porno DVDs which was busting up my butt volume 2

Shut up, and I would there was like a bunch of tries but nothing happened then one day it happened and it was like a bunch of tries, but nothing happened. Then one day it happened and it was like kind of nighttime. Got immediately scared. Thought I was going to hell. So I just sprinted outside and started playing basketball.

Yes. Sweat out the sand.

I was I was so scared. I was like, what the fuck's it?

I just the only time I've ever been afraid like that from waking up is waking up with the hiccups for the first time. You feel like you're drowning on dry land. It's terrifying. You're like dead asleep and you wake up and you go, ah, ah.

You woke up with a hiccup?

I've done it.

Dude, I've done it a lot.

And you have like terrible indigestion?

Yeah.

And you just go like. Were you just like grubbing before sleep every night? I was basically living with you. I saw the way you grew up. He was like fucking 50 high shoes We'll eat that curtain eat the high chick Just Japanese rubber that they said over here but I would order these like big fucking tens of mac and cheese and dump hot sauce on it and then just like it's 3 in

the morning be like Dude it's fucking terrifying. You're like, uh-oh, uh-oh. I try to go to sleep. You're like sleepy but scared.

It's the worst.

I've been getting scared waking up a lot lately. I'll just start having like crazy running thoughts. I'm like, dude, what the fuck is going on? It's like, yeah, today's the day you die. You're going to die right now.

Here we go. Dude, I was having a completely fine day. Yeah, I think I had sleep paralysis this week.

Same here.

When you guys get it, are you just...

Woke up so scared.

You're just scared you can't do anything? No, at this point I can see it. I'll be having a dream and go... I'll wake up, try to go back to sleep, and I'll start having a dream where like I'm get I'm about like fall over you motherfucker I'm about to have sleep paralysis then I have sleep paralysis. I can like feel it coming on go you fuck damn I didn't have the full. I just woke up scared as fuck from something. I don't know what that was It sounded like something was in my room screaming. Yeah

Cuz you like think like you always kind of dream a little like two minutes. I was yeah, it's terrifying So terrified, but then immediately it's so funny You ever have the knock Where you're gonna sleep and you literally thought someone knocked on the door and you're like looking around like no I would scare that fuck my scares. I. I'd much rather wake up with the cups than fucking, than a castle door knock.

Yeah.

Just like a doosh, doosh, doosh. It's like a cop knock. I'm like, what the fuck, but I'm just dreaming. I told you I had one the fuck out of my room, dude He just walked and stood in the corner where it was really dark I couldn't see anything and then it took me like two minutes to be like no one's there This is that was a I saw a ghost walk across that's when the fears but for some reason I wasn't scared at all

You really don't know why yeah even after the realization. Yeah, you're the Punisher if you guys saw what I saw damn your Frank Castle you guys have no idea you guys were fucking around in college yeah I was at the point yeah you were yeah you were well you was it Oh seven I was graduating eighth grade my friend okay I'm talking about your time in the in college you went you fucked off they said this is not a man for higher education not a fuck. No. He's not ready for books. Where'd you go?

It's time for pod. I went to Delaware County Community College for a year D presidents list No big deal and then temple I quit after a year

Two years and I was like two years. It was like three class. I was like you can take three classes It's sweet. So yours took three classes. I was like, I had two years. It was like three class. I was like, you can take three classes.

It's sweet.

So yours took three classes. I was like, physics is fuck. I did a thing where I had a dream about this, that I was going to somehow miss a class. And it was like some like second semester or some shit. MLK day was on that Monday. And I was like, I'm taking a screenshot of my fucking courses so I can just use this every fucking week.

And then in physics, they kept talking about this lab that I had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. It turns out I took a screenshot of MLK Day, which we were off that day, so there was no class. So I'd missed a construction safety class and a physics lab for about a month and a half.

And then I came to the construction safety thing, I was like, I had no idea I had this class. I passed that one, but I just dropped physics

because fuck that, physics is impossible. You're missing all that time that are coming in and being like, you've learned basic things that I have no concept of.

They kept talking about it in class.

I was like Beetlejuice in class.

Just wait, okay.

No clue what's going on. You talked about the lab in class. I went to one lab and I was like, I gotta drop this. Yeah, dude, when you fucking outkick your coverage in college, you go to, I was like, I needed a class and I was like, I'll do philosophy. I'm a pretty philosophical dude. I was like, what is it, rationalism?

Let's fucking go. I didn't realize Arizona has one of the top philosophy departments in the fucking country and I took like a 400 and it was Rene Descartes and it was so hard that I was just re-reading sentences and I had to go to the teacher like I was retarded.

I was like I don't understand any of this. He's like well you took a couple 100s and 200s. I was like no. Anyway, how were you able to sign up for this class? I was like I don't know brother but we're here. You said I signed up, therefore I am. Yeah, there you go. A fucking difference between body and mind, or is there?

I don't know. You're a piece of fuck. Yeah, I'd just smoke camels before I'd go in there, and he just always looked at me like, get out of here. I think I got a D, so I passed.

That's good.

Those books are bullshit anyway.

Yeah.

I've tried to read them. It's nonsense. Just a French fucking heroin addict.

Yeah, and they don't...

Just being like, am I alive? Are you alive?

And they don't write it in a way that's building an argument. No. And they say that from the jump.

Drugs.

Yeah.

They just say... Or drugs. They didn't even know they were drugs. They thought they were just fucking inspired. Supposedly all those grim fairy tale people were on heroin and shit. now I'm fucking sweating. I'll kill myself. She killed herself fuck Yeah, that makes sense, yeah, what if homeless or heroin guys are still hidden fucking scary stories Oh, really not in those camps in those tents. Oh, do that's those around my fucking. Yeah around the fucking trash can fire

I was in a three-bedroom

Too bad a year ago. I had a family hide a family. I was trusted in love

This is too scary I'm going to bed

Hold on I gotta go before the Sun bakes me under this highway Have you played stalker to know very good game? You should try it. I'm all about our graders right now

I didn't play that I've been hearing a lot about our creators. There's try it. I'm all about our graders right now. I haven't played that. I've been hearing a lot about our creators.

There's a fucking,

I'm sorry. It just reminds me of, did you see liver King went to what a burger?

You got to show the video though.

Do I have redemption? There's a fucking, there's like one moment of silence on a podcast. Billy, Billy tried to hit a new topic. Did you guys see Liver King go to Whataburger with his family and order like a huge meal? I didn't. I didn't. I didn't sell it with that much authority. I was very tired, but if you watch it,

is it not crazy? It was fun, yeah.

They fucking, it's what happens. How, what was the total cost, do you think? I don't know, he orders everything, but I think it was like when he was going through He's having a breakdown. It was fucking nuts. And he just kept fucking saying the weirdest shit to people. Do you think anybody in his family, like when, you know, you've known people go crazy, when he locked in on Rogan, were people like, hey, why don't we just shift off?

I don't think, dude. They were riding like in caravans. They were, yeah, they're like multiple cars together. It's crazy. Driving us, yeah. together. It's crazy. Driving a super Mario cart all together in a pole barn and they each have a 65 inch TV this close to their face.

I would do anything. If that was my dad, but I will die.

Liver King does?

Yes.

Family bonding time. They all have 65 inch TVs, literally like a foot away from their face playing Mario Kart. You would get in a Jeep and go and fight. I'll take out entire podcast network. Went to one of them. I go through an Austin killing spree for fucking 65 inch Mario.

He went to what a burger and ordered fucking everything. Those kids will probably murder someone for it. Yeah, true. Yeah, that is like, is he allowed to get toppings on stuff? Is that against his mantra? 3.0 1.0 was all about that shit, 3.0, holy trinity. You can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want, you just gotta be happy. You just gotta lock it down, yeah.

And do HGH, $30,000 of it a month.

A month?

It was something wild, like he was doing like 20 grand of HGH a month, and then he had people like, fucking like, I think I'm gonna turn my life around, honey, liver to eat it raw. That's the first, it's always the first guy. Yeah. This sounds like a great idea. This guy looks fantastic.

Yeah.

Liver's so hard.

You're not gonna make me sick?

No pain, no gain.

He's like, we're trying to gut it down. He's like, I'm gonna look like you? All right. This guy's just like, dude, could liver king hit a baseball? I doubt it. That'd be awesome if you hangers

Like five third. Yeah, he's a show a oh, Tony's like he's sick nice. He's not a fine motor skills guy No, but I'm just saying running with weights You never know that there's no way the king the king There's no way not to be confused with the guy, but he couldn't live a bacon bro throw its dart I Don't think it's fine motor skills are all there, and he also has a hurt. Eye. Yeah, he does have her Oh, yeah, actually is good like the superhero is that I bear like city Hawkeye Hawkeye. Yeah least favorite person

He just throw it. Yeah, just got a bone arrow. Yeah, piss me off I just watched I'm going through the multiverse in correct order right now.

So I just got Hawkeye fighting with Thor and them. It's pretty good.

With the bow and arrow though.

Yeah, just fucking people up. But he got turned by Loki. But does he do anything other than fire a bow and arrow? No, he just got the fucking Hawkeye. He's security. No, he just got the fucking Hawkeye.

He's security, but also once they die with a bow and arrow, but he's got wild fucking I think he's like some sort of fucking freak ninja or something wait There's somebody should fight him that just has a gun yeah, they go a cool bow and arrow. Yeah, I'm an ak-47 look at this No, he's like the Comanche dude yeah, how'd that turn out for that you were on the whole ran into some fucking gun. They're in an eye around but he's got next-level movement. I'm sure you got any movement fast or something I don't fucking know. Honestly, I'd really don't just a guy with an archer. No, I said Jeremy. Yeah. No offense, Sam I just don't like Hawkeye nothing against you. Yeah, Jerry Renner kind of rules. Yeah, he's cool I think you got fucked up for a while. He did he got smushed by like a snowmobile. Yeah, that would kill the cage one. Did you ever see the size of it do those cats? Yeah, I rolled up all right. Yeah, what you got rolled up on you guys?

I'm sure we got like actually smushed everything you could take a car rolling over your foot Yeah, I think about him as every time a car backs up next man I just want to fucking put my foot quickly That pressure cramp. I don't know. Something to think about this week. I've been watching Sri Lanka's Got Talent on Instagram. Who?

Sri Lanka, the island nation. That is good shit. So good. Who are the judges? One of them was, I don't know, just whoever, like three fat guys from Sri Lanka. They're like, dude, you're fat. Warren shirt on sir judge this dance competition. It was a dude is that from Street Fighter?

He's from Sri Lanka cigar. Oh, this is a guy the fucking del C. Crazy mullet. That's I have one Okay, what not Blanca's from Brazil? He's from Brazil. I thought you're in a long cut. Maybe it's just Blanca I just know from the map selecting on the Street Fighter. This is what I'm talking about Is that it looks like it's filmed in the parking lot of America's Got Talent. Like it looks like they were like you guys can go outside. This talent. This is crazy. That's his talent. Wheels flat, bro. He gets run over by a tractor.

How do you think he discovered this talent? Over his cheeks. Damn. You gotta tune in to Sri Lanka's got talent season three yeah you never think about how third down how worse worse countries have way better talent shows because it's like basic necessity roads you gotta see how bad these talents are it's like four dudes roller skating that was one of them yeah this is incredible yeah the fuck fuck you guys get roller skates. Yeah, what I like the

Drinking non-potable water

Look at this cloudy cup It's honestly like a fifth grade kids have talent. That's what the moves are It's like when kid goes outside he goes, yeah, I got a bike I can jump over one trash can and go holy fuck this kids unbelievably goes. I bet you I'll eat that

Yeah, don't give me an accent

I'm again here with African skateboarders like on dirt roads. It's what I'm sick. That's nice very African pro-wrestling is what's up? Really you've seen those guys in Ghana. No. I don't think I'm doing the mud ring They do some crazy shit that those power bombs on the mud look fucking cool as hell They're hitting like hill they're hitting like cool ass moves And you're like these guys hurt doing it with like a ring with any break in it like it's great mud splash Yeah, huge boats like big Indian guys. Hey wrestling. Whatever that is. Yeah, that's laugh each other's chests Understand what's going on that that kills yeah

I would hurt it slap thin chest art is it. Or is it bug digging chops? They like jump occasionally. They throw like Superman. So I see my cousin Ajax is fucking huge. And he was up on a ladder on an extension ladder. And he either hit a power washer or something like that, like pressed it fell back from the top hit the ground. I saw him make an imprint in the grass and dirt and got the fuck up. Really? It was the craziest shit I've ever seen. Was it like, do you think he has like drunk driver brain where he was just like relaxed and just went like... No, Ajax is just like an animal.

He's like... Yeah, Ajax is a fucking beast.

He's a fucking beast.

It's crazy to watch him hit and then watch him get back up. Got right up.

Wait, didn't he crush a burrito? burritos all the time, but you say like he'll eat or drink a whole pot of coffee cold. What? Yeah. Hey guys, really quickly, please for the love of God, come out this weekend. Las Vegas, Nevada, the Plaza Theater. You guys are a last minute town. You do this to me every time I come there and you just you buy tickets like two days before it makes me nervous.

Please come and that's that's this Friday night to 13 2026 Uh to 14 valentine's day. I'll be at the paramount theater in denver, colorado Just come out if you if you don't know about it You're hearing about it if you want to come come and then after that i'll be in boise, idaho Salt lake city cleveland. Ohio pittsburgh st. Louis, Indianapolis. I'll be in a bunch of places. Go to MattMcCusker.com

for tickets, please. And just please come to Optimal Noctis. Me, LaMere, Sean. It's always a good time. The next one is February 17th at the Creek in the Cave. You can get tickets on Creekinthecave.com. Please.

And LaMere's mom will be at this next one.

I mean, come on now.

What? And LaMare's mom will be at this next one. I mean, come on now. Mrs. Lee will be at the next option, not just if that sells you. And I'll also be in Salt Lake City with Nathan March 27th and 28th, I believe. Tickets are at seangardini.com. This is Sean Gardini. Thank you so much.

Also go to Lincoln Financial Field for Shane's show.

Oh, yeah. Go see Shane.

That's going to be very, very sick. And hey guys, I'm looking at the seat map right now. Don't think like, oh, get around to it. This is going to sell out. I'm looking at it. It's pretty close to sold out, so you better go.

ShaneMGillis.com.

That's awesome. All right, and we're back. What a, wow, what a great, Yeah, thanks for having me. That was so fucking fun. You were Saturday, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was Friday Yeah, I heard the Friday was bananas Saturday I lost my voice, but Friday ruled Friday was crazy cuz It was me Che a tell than Louie But I've never seen someone get a comedy club pop at an arena like Louis, where Dave Vitello went, Louis CK and everyone

went, yeah. And then they saw him and they were like, it was crazy. Like they didn't believe it. They went like, yeah, Louis CK is here. And then you see him walk up the steps and everyone was like, it was awesome. Holy shit. It was fucking really cool. We also both went Thursday for scouting Report. Yeah, we both watched. Funniest shit was Santino was going first on Thursday and I got coffee with him.

Because originally I was supposed to go second on Friday and I'm like, I'm going second confidence where I'm talking to Santino on Thursday. I go, dude, going first is fine. You just go up there, fucking lay on the jokes. You'll be great. Santino's like, all right, all right.

Then I go there and Shane goes, hey, you're going first on Friday. And I was like, fuck. I immediately walked out of the sauce, Santino and I was like, how was it? He's like, it was good.

He's like, after I went, no. Yeah, no. Because I was like, you're in the round and you're like, yeah.

There's no chance. If somebody walked out while I was on stage

at the fucking garden and was like, do more time. Yeah, and I was like, just finished a joke and I went, no. And then I came back around and she was like, you have to fucking stretch. And I was like. I would be in my head too being like,

that has to be a bit.

Yeah. Did you guys see Liver King? I thought he was fucking with me. There was a certain day. Where I was like, I was like, what kind of sick joke is this?

This is where Ali fought Frazier. What are we doing here? It was cool as fuck. Che. Old Mikey Che. He was hilarious. What an animal. I know, I mean, did he show up late? Shows up late and then dips.

Yeah.

I didn't even see him. Showed up late, killed, and then left. I went out, after when you went up, I was watching you for a while, and then I came back and I was like, where the fuck is Che? I'm like, what's this, man? You know, I'm like, he's dropping to his set, going, he's got another spot.

I did New York Comedy Club, The Garden, and then fucking The Stand late. But it was, dude, that was fucking awesome. That was awesome. Can I tell you my favorite part was Kath and I were watching from one of the secret hallways,

and it was when you were shit-talking Sarah, were like she fucking terrorized yeah and then I see Shane go that bitch is here tonight he goes and he brought her daughter little bitches with it he's talking shit and then Sarah walks up as we're standing there and I go junior talk shit and your sister went oh we deserve everything we were horrible to him they suck he was funny watching her go yeah whatever I knew it was coming I didn't think it'd be this but I knew it was coming. I didn't think it'd be this, but I knew it was coming. Hey, what sweet revenge to watch it click in your head to go. Oh yeah. You fucking bitch. Giant fat bitch. That was very fun to watch. It was awesome. Voss man. Yeah. Big Voss out

there. That was great. It was great dude. Colin Quinn. It was fun to see Voss be nervous. Yeah.

Before, he was so nervous.

Should I tell you something that I don't know if he'll admit, but-

In a good way. Louis was nervous.

Everyone was.

Everyone was nervous.

It was crazy to watch Louis, though, but I was standing there that hurt tell called the subway Lord choo-choo He must be fed. It was so funny. It's like if you're a tourism go down and ride the subway get assaulted Lord choo-choo needs blood Yeah, he was the man, but then Louie went up it was it was great. It was fucking really cool Yeah, I just I like having all those guys people like people like, aren't you worried to follow all those guys? It's like, no, I mean, they're gonna bury me. It's just, I want the people to pay to go to an arena

and be like, that shit was cool. It's less pressure on me.

Did a tail hit the recorder?

No. No. I mean, dear, I used to hear him playing that during COVID when we were doing outside shows. I swear to God, you would take a corner and you're like... And you'd be like, a tell is near. If I was like tracking him, you'd be like, a tell is near the corner.

It's like Grand Theft Auto when you hear a mission.

You go, ah, I'm not doing it yet.

No, fuck that. I don't want to do that one. I'm not doing it yeah That was cool as fuck man three nights at the garden that was sick yeah, it did suck I got sick on Saturday. Yeah, you couldn't tell everyone said you couldn't tell I can't tell no I was in my head the whole time I forgot how many fucking impressions I do the entire start a joke I'm like great I scream in this I scream in like ten fucking jokes dude. There's nothing funny Let me make any there's nothing funnier than a gay act out

getting killed by you being like, no voice.

Yeah.

I don't know what's happening.

And you're like, I really, in that moment you go, I really am gay. Dude. In those moments where you're doing a voice and you can't because you're sick. You're like.

It's just any time bombing an act out, you're like, I am the fucking gayest dude alive right now. Oh my God, dude, the funniest shit that I used to love to watch on YouTube was comics bombing with act outs and then having to get off the ground. Oh, laying down? Yeah, laying down joke.

And then they get up and they go, so anyways, that's just kinda, that's what that's like. That shit always fucking kills me. People laying on their back and talking into the mic, and no one laughing, and then having to stand up. Stand up. I've seen it.

We've seen it a million times.

Not knowing the floor's dusty as fuck.

Just covered in dust.

Especially like a black comic doing an act out where he's like, and then I get popped, and it pops up, and then it's on, and he's like, how y'all doing tonight? A lot of beautiful women here. Oh, ladies, y'all look beautiful tonight. It doesn't look so long.

Yeah, I saw a guy hit the lay down bomb at McGooby's. Getting hackled while laying down. Jesus Christ. Laying on his back,

getting hackled.

Get up.

Dude, the hat.

Get up, you suck, asshole.

Yeah, yeah, all right, mister.

Hey, whatever fuck you dude just lay down on the goobies just look it up in a fucking ceiling of a comedy Well, I'm gonna kill myself in Timonium Never thought I'd blow my head off in Timonium, Maryland did last one of the last times I was in high school tonight I tried finding a ps4 controller This was like a couple years ago, and I drove all over Timonium looking for that mall there went to the GameStop Yeah, we got into it with the guy

I was like I need a PlayStation 4 controllers like we don't so I was like how how your fucking GameStop And he's like sir. You're cursing at me. He hit the Don't curse at me in the store. I mean how your fucking GameStop is It's a little aggressive. Yeah, I would have gone It was like ps5 was not out yet, but they like only had the controller It was one of those times where you couldn't get a ps5 like I think that might have been out But only in stores were like the controllers for him

And I was trying to get a ps4 controller. I was like dude. I need a piece of saying We're right you break the other one No, you throw a pick no. I don't break stuff anymore after after I moved out with the punching table I don't punch stuff actually no one stopped me from punching tables. It was terrifying you got a glass table No, Katie Katie bought these Ikea Fucking tables, and I put my hand through one and her reaction from the other room was so it I was so embarrassed by a replay

I Think it might have been Madden Might have been Madden and I think I threw a pick six to end it and I fucking Kate I came down with a hammer fist on it It just broke the table and just her from the other room gone. What was that? Struck me in a way as an adult that I was like,

I went on Ikea and ordered one immediately. They were 12 bucks, so it wasn't that bad. It was 12 out of the table. Eventually you're going to put a cup down on it. The thing's going to explode. It just would swell up.

Just that hearing a grown woman, it snapped me back to reality. I said, oops, there goes gravity. I mean, here your grown woman go. I watching you guys watch me spaz out didn't affect me at all.

I've said it 10 million times your spaz on DeRosa is my favorite spaz.

I think he's the only person to be able to get me to that.

DeRosa is a sad shit.

He can get anyone to go like, would you just fucking stop? My nephew just did this to my niece. Really?

I got him Super Nintendo for Christmas and they're all playing, he died and she laughed

at him and he just went, you're in the fucking head. They had to break him up.

I was like, bro, you got to fucking chill out. And he immediately got even more pissed off, saying, I didn't hit her. We just saw you hit her.

Mario gets you so angry.

Video editing, it's a different anger. It is. It's a different anger.

I've hit a new anger. I just, a rage quit. I just hit home screen immediately,

shut the fucking thing off. I mean, throw a pic, I go, the computer's fucking, it's crooked. I remember Big Jay would hit me with that when I'd be beating him in Madden. He'd go, the computer likes you more. You're like, what? You think this is a popularity contest with a computer?

I had a meltdown the other night in Hell Let Loose.

I got into building, I got into, dude.

Jay Brules.

I got into building like fortresses. Fortresses I'd love to learn how to do that yeah So I was just running supplies for like 20 minutes to just dump a million supplies in this I was like starting to build a fortress and then all the other engineers came and started building shit and This guy just put a piece of barbed wire fence and like butt fucked it so hard That is a lot of work though, and it's not me ran for like an hour. Yeah, it's not driving supply truck damn Yes, it's also. That's crazy to play that game and be like I'm gonna be the supply truck guy That's why I see no action dude. You just literally just drive

In the fucking regalia. No is a perfect point I could like I could I was building sick bunkers and shit everywhere Like we had the whole thing defended. We just needed to close off this one side and this motherfucker just put, and you can't dismantle barbed wire.

You have to like blow it up.

And it was like-

Just for the game to end. Yeah, yeah.

And that guy knew what he was doing. He was like, watch this.

That's always frustrating.

When we get in a tank, you gotta drive the length of the battlefield Yeah. I just did that and called dude. I just been using bazooka over and over. I don't have my headset and the dude was just like, why don't you stop fucking shooting and stuff and take down a UAV you fucking asshole. I just fucking went over and over there. I had an officer tried to steal one supply truck. I got a shot. Get your own dude. Talk to the commander. get another.

Yeah, Vietnam's gonna be nice. Yeah, it's gonna be nice. Hell, let loose Vietnam. Really?

You like war?

Me and the O'Connor are gonna get to Vietnam. I don't do war, I mean, I'll play. It's weird, I get into video games, but I have to be like recommended them. I have to be- You'll fucking play the show all right. I mean our graders was the thing I got it in New Year's, and I fucking love it, but motherfuckers Just camp out and kill you when you're about to leave in the elevator

There's rat your I heard it's awesome. I got recommended that game by that about getting it. Yeah, that's great

Yeah, you can team up right yeah, yeah Davis. I got into Twitch. I never got Twitch.

It's hilarious.

I watch people play.

I watched it last night.

Twitch is nuts.

Yeah, I just watch games.

You can watch all types of shit. Nobody's watching.

There's like people with zero views.

It's awesome.

Dude, you know how anyways you guys are gonna see here. It's a zero views. It's I've looked at it last night a lot of its girls doing like ASMR and I Clicked one report. I like him almost entered the I think I entered the chat Oh, but I don't think I don't think it shows your name, but I panicked Wow Wow

There he is welcome back

It's it's fun. Yeah on Twitter, I never even knew that thing existed. Yeah, I set it up.

I was trying to stream on it for a while.

That would've been fun.

Dude, I do one stream.

I'm a mod in Gabe's Twitch.

Yeah, I just kick everyone out that talks shit.

I like that. Yeah, it's fun. Kick his fucking brother out. You do soccer shit? Yeah. Yeah, cause Gabe keeps saying he's gonna beat me up. And I say, Gabe, I'm gonna literally,

I'll pay someone to kill you.

He was petting, he was playing. You're not gonna ban people that like Gabe. That's for a fur. He was playing and kept just messaging Gabe, remember our time in Cleveland, that was so much fun. Remember what we did in Cleveland, he's fucking freaking out. He doesn't take kindly to it. I get in there, I say, show holes, show cheeks,

show your feet, he's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Also with the lighting, the headset, it's very impressive.

I just try to get him to kill his teammates, he won't.

Shoot. I mean, one of the hardest you've ever made me laugh was when I started playing Red Dead Redemption 2 and I went to the bathroom and I come back out and Shane has my controller unpaused and he's aiming my gun at my horse's head and I was like dude what are you doing he's like I'm gonna kill your fucking I'm gonna kill night shadow. He's like I'm gonna kill night shadow out of black horse. I was like don't you kill my black horse. He came in and he held a hostage. It's a custom name he named it night Shadow. He sat tight in Night Shadow. What a cool name for a horse. That's why I wanted to kill it. No, what a cool name.

To destroy something beautiful.

No, it is beautiful. So you admit it's beauty. Night Shadow's, no. With a white mane? Being high as fucking queens

and naming your horse Night Shadow.

Take me back. True. Take me back. I agree. to St. Denis. Oh, old St. Denis? Yeah, we had some times back then. Yeah, dude. Find the vampire in St. Denis. I would love to.

Yeah.

I want to get into that game, but I feel like I get swallowed by it.

You should.

Red Dead Redemption 2.

It's awesome. You never played it?

No.

You should play it.

Yes.

Yeah. But I really want to do the thing where I just want to like open a general store and like run you get to that You get to that you can do some shit like I want to just be a good bit. I'm with me in the town I'm with you. I get I'm trying to play fall anytime a new season of Fallout comes out I just play the game, and I forgot I don't play the game I just scrap metal and try to build forts crack it. I'm literally on the first one the first I just get under For real, I just scrap metal barrels. I can build a gun turret use play a meth head again I can get in that fucking soul out you can take meth you can take yeah, yeah, I get addicted

Yeah, and then you have withdrawals if you can't find it really yeah, I'm addicted to jet and Scrap metal so I play it for hours, then I go, I didn't beat one level. On Arc Raiders you can hit yourself with a stimulant so you like don't have it, but the other players will hit you so they'll run ahead of me and you hear me going, just be like, I'm just hopping up and down and it's like, every time I fucking hit it, every time I hit the stimmy.

Were you good at that cyberpunk game?

No, I never played it though, because it came out and it was too shitty.

Yeah, I didn't have dongs though. Choose your dongs, Huss. Yeah. Fucking nuts.

Do you know what I found out about the Olympics? Do you know those ski jumpers? Yeah. Do this shit where when they're getting fitted for suit, they shoot something for their ski jump what soon why so they have extra flat so it carries them farther carries them like nine feet farther they were like an NSA make that a little bigger you're cuz it's illegal it's illegal you gotta go in and have a fake dog sound a sock in there it's

clearly two rolls of socks there no so much bigger than your actual just remote

it's a cucumber in tin foil.

So you gotta have a big dick to be able to do that. I mean, just one more hurdle from me becoming a great ski jumper.

Yeah.

I know gravity was bad, but if dick size,

there's no injection. What they do is they inject it to make it puffier, puff out, and then when they're competing, their dick's'll again. Oh, no, just go to get side my body and not make my dick bigger He's heavy huge like fuck. Yeah Just go get super embarrassed and have your dick tiny. Well, can't just crap your pants and have it sag It's probably cut weight. That's what you just gain a ton of weight went for the suit fitting and they had the opposite of it

Yeah, very thought for the event fit fitting and then be weak as hell flying down that they take it out. I Like it This I don't know about you guys. I've been watching some figure skating and some of those guys have nice asses Every single one of these little twinks that gets up there I got What's the quad got today? Dude, he looks great. Yeah, he looks like he can fly like he looks like if you're like his mom's a fairy you'd be like oh

Yeah, his back flips and shit. You don't want one-footed his big is number one rivals This is little tiny Japanese man who is to good battle. I don't know if you watch their short program I did today on the team the Japanese man took a little stumble, and they didn't fucking penalize him for shit I was talking about the team one. The team one, he was flawless. Quad God, though, hitting those back flips. Well, apparently those don't do shit for you. Really?

Yeah, that's not part of the- He just wrestled you for a while. It's part of the, there's like, because of how gay the sport is, half your points are like dancing. Yeah, you have to like-

And like presentation and shit. One of them- Moves are just half your, it doesn't make sense. We're just watching who's gay is spinning. How are they not busy as fuck? I went on a merry-go-round type thing

at a park the other day.

Dude, if I do a neck roll, I'm dizzy.

Yeah.

I gotta sit down, holy shit. My nephew put me on and started spinning around. I got off, that's hilarious.

Oh, fuck.

Who did? It was like three minutes of dizzy. And I always try to say do that thing, you look at a spot, like you like snap your head around and come back to the spot. It's like that makes it worse.

Spinning my head fast.

Did you feel the whole world? That's when you take a long tumble. Take a brewski tumble. Here we go. We're fucking going in. Oh fuck. All right well Great scene great time to go eat dinner

So what do you guys think about getting some dinner you want to go to a he wants it you want some lemon meringue I'm gonna fuck up some lemon meringue you want some meatloaf. Where's the lemon meringue spot one out of two ain't bad Don't worry about it All right sick see you guys soon. I'll try to do this again

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