Ep 604 - Tyler Gerben (feat. Steve Gerben, Dan Soder, Billy & Spud)

Wow wow Wes hey guys we're here we're live from the fucking the manosphere We do have the chessboard out to show everybody. This is the premium so we think about this is what we do, dude You gotta get him in a telegram me and spud come down here and sit silently and play chess for hours Okay, and then we have threesomes. We in spades split women. There's all these girls with spud tattooed on them. Yeah, their fucking main people have to be like 13 year olds. Because if you could actually sell multiple chicks.

Dudes?

A dude, like 13 year old boy is like,

yeah, I want three girlfriends. Yeah. That would be sick. It's like, dude, that's fucking great. Oh, you mean trying to sell that to regular dudes? I can't get one girlfriend. What the fuck are these guys talking about? That's what being straight, we were talking about that the other day, the dudes are like, don't chase them, dude. If you don't chase, they'll come to you.

It's like, dude, they won't.

Oh, yeah.

Forever.

How are you gonna know you exist?

Yeah, you just go to your job, go back home.

Go to your job, go back home. and chase pussies, just no one knows you live. Yeah. Dudes are invisible, they kind of have a point,

but then the guys get really sucked into it. Like, Louis lucks out on those documentaries. The dude's sitting there, he's like grilling him a little bit, and then the guy's like, yeah, well, you know, I had a problem with my dad, I didn't really, I have a strong male figure,

and they're like, dude, how does he find these guys? Like, Louis just rolls up on them. Yeah. He's the best. Scientology one is like, that's one of the best documentaries.

Scientology, you better not get into that. You, Gerben, actually would. Yeah, you better not.

Dude.

Who are we talking to?

You would be a Scientologist.

Scientologist?

You would, what? Gurb, if you give them all your money, it'll make all your dreams come true. No.

What if they were like, you will be the next Tom Cruise?

This is what they'd do.

Okay. I know exactly how he operates. He'd be like, well, I don't give a fuck about this religion.

I'm just doing.

We do this shit.

I did listen to Lawrence Wright's book on- Yeah, The thought that was what you think of it. I thought was great when I read it or listen to it You wouldn't consider joining the church. No, why why would I all your money? They'll bone smash you I'll be the Tomcat dude. You'll be the next Maverick Wow Yeah, you're definitely rooster or something yeah, so you're the guy guy yeah that's tough and so I just said you know like what's my obligation you gotta give them all your money oh

all my money all your money no no it goes beyond that your obligation is for billions of years yeah you gotta live in outer space yeah all right then no the battle living out of space and be mission impossible what you were being

fucking mi-13? MI-B.

It might be the only technology that can save humanity and all the rest of the galaxy for millions of years.

Yeah.

Could be.

Could be.

I mean, I won't put it.

I'm trying to be an SP.

I like the political answer though. You don't want a disparaged Scientology. It could be, I just did it. Bro. You're never going to beat Tom Cruise. Are you familiar with squirrel busting? I don't know what squirrel busting is, no. It's when Scientologists get on your ass and they start to fuck your day up. It's called squirrel busting. That's what they do to suppressive

people. Oh, I didn't listen carefully. I must be getting squirrel busted, in. I don't know where these fucking are, but my days suck.

Yeah.

Yeah, the Scientology, once you get into it though, at some point that could have been Christianity where everyone's like, dude, the guy fucking made it up. He just wrote a bunch of books and now is it, I'm just saying, I'm just saying it could be like that. Fucking a thousand years from now someone would be like, dude.

Yeah.

Checkmate, dude. Not in front of the chessboard, yeah. Checkmate, dude. Do not say it. A thousand years from now, someone's going to be like, dude, for real. That's not funny to say. That's not your job. I don't respect pawns, dude. It's chess and it's five day.

I think I've talked about this before, but when I saw that sex cult documentary. Oh yeah. The XS or whatever it was. What, NXIVM? NXIVM, yeah. At the end of that, when the women were like outside the jail, he's in jail and there's like women outside the jail. Keith Raniere. He's one of them. He's kind of tangential to Epstein. Go on. I was like, I get killing Jesus. Cause there's a point to where you're like, I really. and then they do it like that. And you're like, they're really like Jesus with the table.

It's just, I mean, granted cooler heads would prevail. I thought you were talking about the pillow Riley.

More women out here.

What are you talking about? Why are you talking about killing Jesus?

I would just say, hold on. I was just, I'm not trying to be anti-Semitic.

Yes. But what you just said was fucked up. Towards our religion. Too soon.

Too soon.

And I understand the Jews.

Fuck the third temple, dude.

Fuck all your shit.

Oh, I'm suggesting-

Red Hat Brad's a fucking spot on. You've got a society and then somebody's doing this and it's just like, women are coming

into this cult and he's going, all right, enough. Yeah. You know. No, that is true, though. That's exactly actually what happened to Jesus. Was the Romans were like, all right. The Jews are going nuts, like, fucking kill him. And then they're like, all right, dude,

I don't give a fuck what you guys talking about. It's like a far outpost. And that's the story they told us, dude. Yeah. The truth is, not the truth, obviously. I would never dare to say I know the truth, but the historical books about it are very funny. About Jesus? When you think about Jerusalem.

Have you read them?

Fucking Bill O'Reilly. Yeah, killing Jesus. Bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly had chat GBT before anyone. He's fired off 20 books. Killing Bill. 20 bucks, killing me. No, it was like Jerusalem was during,

what holiday was it? It was a Jewish holiday.

Passover.

It was...

Talking about like the last summer and stuff?

Yeah.

Passover, yeah.

Like Palm Sunday and shit?

So Jerusalem was just packed like 10 times more than it usually was. So it was like 150,000 Jewish people and there was like 50... Pure breeds. Like 50 Romans in a garrison. That's all they had.

And it was already a hotbed. The Judea, they were getting wild over there. But then they were like, you need to kill him. And they were like, dude, if we don't kill this fucking guy

they're gonna storm our fucking garrison.

Interesting.

Yeah, it was you guys, 100%. I get hit with a lot of figs, too. Try to play Poncho. It seems like they're doing Passion 2. I've heard that.

I've heard it's the fucking-

But I get hit with so many fake shows.

I've heard it's the comeback. The Resurrection?

Yeah.

Dude, who the fuck knows?

I got hit with a Harry Potter one. He comes back and says it was good. Yeah, that was embarrassing. People have covered this but how base she is how funny that is she hates less we just talk about that the Gringotts the bank Everyone does Mitchell just get on Twitter be like yo trans people need to shut them No, she's not crazy at all. She's based in she has. She has a book at $50 billion. She wrote the most popular book of all time. Yeah.

She's like, yeah, she gets on Twitter,

is like, yo, shut the fuck up, lesbians.

People are like, whoa.

I could wait, no, it's great. She's going off. I mean, probably what she said behind closed doors about chicks. Probably shouldn't have never heard before. You remember the tweet about trans people? You know what that means, you're saying behind?

Holy shit. It works like wine, dude.

She could be wine.

Chase get drunk on wine and hit that tweet.

Thank God your parents don't do it. Oh my God, dude, what would your parents be hitting. Oh, hold on. Let me tell you, I see at sevens on everyone. Tune in. I had a good Phil conversation. I called Phil to be like, yo, you, you hyped about your boy, your fucking boy going to war with Iran. You fucking hyped about it. Cause I knew his, I knew his take. I knew what it was going to be. He was like, by who? He's like, Iran. They can't have a nuke Shane. And I was like, dude, I'm not going to get blown up. I might get blown up now. Now there could be a terrorist attack. He was like, yeah, because fucking that idiot before Trump let all those fucking

terrorists into the country. It changes every four years. We were rich back then. We were doing really good. Yeah, that's what my parents are, um, big, my mom's big on Jesse. My dad always tries to hit like, I don't watch that shit. And then like I go, he calls me from Florida and he's like, what's the Fox news app? I was like, it's YouTube TV. Now you don't need

a Fox news app. But how do I know what's on? I was like, it's live TV. It's just on an app. Dude, think how good it must feel. What's that shit I said I canceled, the Fox One? Oh, they kill you with everything.

Dude, they sneakily subscribe you to shit now.

I have five hundred, it's literally cable. They're giving us commercials. It's my dad getting $500 Comcast bills.

Dude, now.

It's what it's for, it's ripping off old people.

Prime does commercials now, Netflix is gonna get commercials. So in the middle of your special, it'll be commercials.

No, I know that.

I've had this discussion.

And that's gonna be $25.

I had to have this discussion about it.

What the fuck is that, dude?

It's crazy. Knights of the Seven Kingdom is made for TV. I did, I said that I don't wanna do it as ads ever.

And then they were like, So it'd be like beautiful dogs presented by fucking dude wipes.

No.

Manscaped.

So you do like native ads with your jokes.

You start doing stand up.

About products.

You start doing stand up like UFC fighters. There's everything all over your shirt.

It's a height.

I should go out shirtless, just in fucking tight.

I mean nuts.

Yeah, there. Just in a UFC outfit. Tiny penis sticking out, no cup. Did they wear cups?

There's little nubs sticking out.

UFC, yeah.

Do they?

Dude, if they didn't, dude, you'd see it.

I don't know.

See it knuckled during a fight. Yeah, it's a small penis. Tiny penis during a fight? Yeah, it's really minus inverted right now it's part of your fat bull see it's part literally my bossy is hanging over my feet feels like a clip well now I'm thinking about Super Mario right now on a super Nintendo cross like it like an autistic kid until my back hurts and

then I get up my dicks like inside my on the carpet no I'm on a bed damn I wish you're on the carpet no I can't do on a bed. Damn, I wish you were on the carpet. Nah, I can't do that. I wish you were talking to the Mamdani, dude.

Chill, dude.

Could get my dad pissed off talking about that.

True.

Fucking Mamdani.

I was like, dude, he's not your mayor.

I didn't know the Bay River,

New York had ain house like that. What are we talking about? You said real? I was afraid to get into politics, but fuck it, I brought it up.

Let's do it.

Did you see that shit where they turn it into anime?

I regret saying I-

Was it the liberal guy? The psychologist or the Christ?

The real.

The Christ thing.

Well, you shouldn't have said that.

Well, but- That's fine. you know go ahead talking about killing cry you know I was just saying city under the worst thing he says earlier earlier in the podcast he said I understand why we killed you know I said I understand I said if you could always my age one dummy oh yeah well yeah fucking republic the five years square dances goose is of Fox News. Square dances. Gervises of Fox News.

Probably every Jewish final form of Fox News. Fox News Republicans. Well it's funny you took that up.

I'm not a fucking woman.

But no, what I was suggesting

you know

was that not controlling. Of course. You don't have to cover it. Yeah, it's fine. And also, they already clipped it, so.

Oh, great.

Yeah, you're good.

They're never going to, they're never going to.

Well, he says he feels bad about when he said he understood why they killed Jesus.

Understand why somebody would say we should kill this?

That's already being a joke world story.

I get what you were trying to say. Yeah, but they're not gonna put this part in the clip. It's gonna be you doing that

The concept of a nuisance a social and news

My you know my general understanding of is that at the time there was also like a lot of Messiah's air quotes

That comes from this is what they teach you

This is old Hebrew school This is what they teach you in fucking Hebrew. Put the shovel down, dude. This is old Hebrew school.

This is Hebrew talk.

I dug myself into a deep pit.

There's only one true God, and they chose you guys as the chosen ones.

I mean...

Good Lord. You know what it was? We went to, uh... I'll tell you exactly what his triggered.

What did you do on birthright when you went?

You went? No. Nice. Uh, get, that's, get. God. That's tough.

I mean, go on.

Why am I, I can't.

He could have been swimming in his pussy in Tel Aviv.

Also.

Also homosexual.

Cavicle.

Cavicle world.

Jewish necklace, I can't wear atters.

Forgot about that.

We gotta chill.

All right.

Yeah, yeah, because we went to this animal expo and then like Oh yeah, we was walking by. I didn't tell you this, but I walked by

Was that you that grabbed the cat?

No, no, it was just an old guy Oh, that's fucking sick And some guy was like, oh, there goes that Jewish guy So that's sort of like in my head that

At you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, to his friend

What? Yeah, it was just like a thing that- I don't know dude, you don't- yeah, you don't- you're like a daywalker.

Yeah, you're not really that Jewish.

Yeah, you don't really like-

Well, I think it's just from the show or whatever it is.

Oh, my bad.

No, not your bad. I just-

Is it?

Then I play that.

No, they went to judging cats. Are you serious like they took him out of it Yeah, they put him on a table you that yeah, you look at the cats now. This is like a blue Russians This is not it was sick, but this guy this guy who was walking by with his main coon who apparently he lost Cuz he was fired up, but yeah

Watch this dude in the front row

He grabs the ball dude.

Holy shit.

Dude, Showcats, never thought of that in my entire life.

As soon as I heard about it I was like, we gotta get there. Look at this shit. Big ass Maine Coons.

How come this isn't on TV like the dog one?

No one cares.

Please!

Holy shit, that was great. one that no one cares yeah it was a it was it was a wonderful experience I didn't know there was Jewish hate at the cat who knows who was hey it was just like house every year it's an all-time identified since every day anymore it doesn't stop doesn't stop but that Super Bowl ad really actually affected me

and I stopped.

It's like a bull start.

I know, I know.

A couple of brewskis.

What'd you say about Jesus?

That is exactly what I was worried about getting.

No, the mom-dommy thing where he got bombed.

Where's Soder?

The kid.

Mom-dommy got bombed? Yes, dude.

What do you mean? Did you see that? There's these two psychos. Yeah, but that wasn't at Mom Dami.

That was at his house.

That was at his house.

Oh, but I thought it was at the protesters at his house.

No, no, no.

Over the protesters. No, it was over the pro-immigrant protesters at the anti-. Whatever, but they're making cool anime, like fucking reels and stuff. The animes are starting to work.

Yeah, I like it.

But no, the kids who did it, they live in like a five bedroom, four bath house in Boston County. It's the nicest shit, it's all that.

Wait, what happened?

Their house is crazy.

The guy that threw the bomb?

Yes.

It always is like that. doing political stuff. Obviously dude, they can't get to New York. You'd have to give them Gs.

I always thought that, I was like, why aren't these guys at work?

They're all at-

Wait, you thought the Muslim terrorists were throwing that at? His house.

Mandang?

Yeah. Oh, whatever.

No, I think they were throwing it at a-

Shit, stuff goes in and out. White nationalist dude. I don't even know if he's a white nationalist. Yeah, I don't know anything that's happening. I'm just going with what I'm feeling lately. I actually, I kind of agree with it. Make shit up. Yeah, I like it. Disinfos kind of thing.

I just keep telling people I'm gonna open the Strait of Hormuz. Anytime someone's like, they're closing the Strait and the oil's going, oh yeah, I'm gonna open it. No, it's not. Oil's 130 this week. No, it's not. You gotta hate your dad with the Trump. I do gas stations. It's $40 now.

Oh yeah, that's gonna be good.

You gotta do that. Oh, nice. Start making Trump gas pumps. They were doing the Biden, I did that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, my dad was doing it like he was 16 years old.

Oh, he was doing it. They're in his whip, they're all over the place. On his dashboard, on his dash and his wheel. They're on the little go-kart. Yeah, on his go-kart, on the dash, on the fuel, there's Biden pointing, I did that. You know how awesome that feels? If you get in, this fucking asshole's making my gas expensive and he just made a sticker.

My dad said he went by the, I mean, the funnier shit. It's crazy. It's amazing. You'll never feel like that. I wish I had a side that, like I wish I could pick a side that large. I wish I could just buy in, no matter what.

When I ordered those white rabbit stickers,

I was like, I was on drugs.

My dad's like, I am.

It'd be so nice to be like, I'm right.

Oh yeah, feels good.

They figured it out. is right about this, believe me. But he went by the ICE protest or the No Kings or whatever, and it's all old people too. So all the old people in Swarthmore are doing No Kings protests. Yeah, the No Kings was definitely for the geese. My dad drives by in a Nissan Pathfinder

that he got, it's a 98 Pathfinder he bought for like three Gs. And he looks at all of them, just starts to hit the next. It looks like this to them. I'm like, that's sick, dude. They must have been pissed. Dude, we watched a great little conspiracy reel where it was like, they got rid of all the cars.

When they did Cash for Clunkers, all that was to like-

Yeah, isn't that a drill?

No, that's Cash for Kids.

Cash for Kids.

Cash for kids is fucking nuts. Nobody talks about that. Shame to live the era.

Hold on, are we allowed to talk about cash for kids?

Yeah.

Cash for, wait, cars for kids.

That's good central PA lore.

Yeah, yeah.

What, cars for kids?

Cash for kids.

Straight to Israel. I'm that. I am unfamiliar. No, the cash for clunker shit, there was a good ass video about how they used to just get rid of every reliable whip.

We had reached such a peak in analog engines. Then they were like, no, digital ones with kill switches.

On-star.

But how are we gonna get rid of all these awesome cars? Pull it off. But it was actually, we debunked it in real time. Only 680,000 cars got cashed in,

so it didn't really have an effect.

Yeah, it's not much. Yeah, I debunked it, so it's, jury's still out.

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I'm afraid of AI.

I don't trust it.

I'm afraid of that. Like that Jones, Duncan Trussell. That was very good. I know that Jones, Duncan Trussell, the beginning of that, that's how we get plugged in the Matrix, dude. At the end of that, we're plugged in like batteries.

I still don't give a fuck about AI. Video games aren't that good yet.

No.

Once video games get real good, then I'll go, damn, AI's out of control.

And AI can't even find their old.

Matrix are fine, dude. for an old meme. I need better graphics. Yeah, I'm trying to find a real old meme. We're finding an old meme from like 2016 maybe?

What was it?

2011?

No, it was when, oh it was, yeah, it's old meme, yeah.

It's a meme of George Bush. I swear to God I don't know what's happening. What do you mean? In conversation right now.

I'm sorry, are we fucking this up? It's probably funny. There's a meme? It's probably funny. You talk about cash for clunkers. Well, here's the thing.

I don't trust AI.

I did come-

I did like that.

Yeah. There's a meme that we're looking for. It's a professional.

So Billy's like, dude, Rogan's got perplexity.

Get this.

We're looking for this meme of- in touch with perplexity. My brother did Rogan, dude, I know Rogan. Spade has $17 perplexity, and then I was like, dude, it's like all of them in one, because he was using Grok, and Grok is kind of ass. Yeah, Grok sucks. And then he started using perplexity, that's.

I'm investing in AI and defense contracts right now.

But it's George Bush throwing the football.

Or AI.

You wanna say? You definitely seen it. It's a meme of George Bush handing off a football. Straight up, it was just open dude.

I just opened it. What?

It's a meme of George Bush handing a football off to Obama in a poppy field.

In a poppy field.

And like Osama Bin Laden's in the background.

And there's also the sky is real cool.

In the clouds? Yes. Who made this?

It's an old meme. Oh. But perplexed it's fine. I've all the good skinny pull-ups, bro. Yeah, you look pull-ups over and over and over You got a fucking tier one operator trying to do a handstand push-up and hands I know I heard he doesn't man we should do those with you eight push-ups. That's good Yo, Kirby's look like a tier one operator today shredded went to's so sick. You're gonna love it. As soon as we get in there,

a couple loud pops from down the range.

He was like,

Oh shit, he hates it.

He called in the cobble airstrikes.

Yeah.

He said, oh God, they're in here.

Blow it up.

I found up. I didn't think I was going to claim up and uh, when I shot the works, hold you brother. Now he said some leaflets to the range first. He said, I'm going to blow this up tomorrow. So everyone clear out. No, it is scary dude. Fucking go to the range. It's like it's in there you're like holy shit i'm a pussy dude i'm so scared and then the are the guy giving us all the guns and showing us how to do everything was seemed like tier one operator he's like all right this is what you do you flip this through this you fucking slap this now you're good to go okay yeah yeah i yelled at myself i

don't know what single thing you just said that's a machine gun. I'm like, so you gotta fucking start over.

Yeah. He's like, this is your workplace.

All right, this is your fucking workspace.

Now you fucking do this.

Do they coach you though?

Yeah.

A little.

I think even-

I'll be honest, I was a little fast and loose.

I liked him, he was, but-

Yeah, I think it was the nature of our group. Yeah. Yeah, I would have preferred Potentially that net not that you know again three ways made he was the goal is the man you were just as scary

I was scared, so I think I wanted somebody to be like he started yelling at him while he's giving me Honestly the first one yes Cuz he fired it he fired one round it had a fucking silencer on it and no kick It was literally the gun I have. It's literally just, it's nothing. No, it's a fucking, it's a carbine that fires a fucking nine millimeter.

So it's against your shoulder.

Yes, so it doesn't move.

Dude, the shotgun?

He fired it once.

Kickback's wild.

He fired one round and I was like, well, let me just do something. He's like, this isn't for me. Let me just do something like smaller with a handgun.

So he had a Glock nine.

I think that's what it's called.

Whatever the police use.

A handgun was, it's way worse than that.

Way worse.

So he like fired it.

And I was, I told you guys beforehan and then the shell coming out. I was like no.

and then I realized you were to because of the headphones. Now he was yelling. The guy was like, all right, you fucking do the

that. I was like, yeah, I had a smile on my face, but then so then they wheeled in a yeah, belt, belt loaded machine gun or belt-fed machine gun and even the guy that brought it in was like this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing to shoot okay so then I watched everybody else do it and I was like 50 cal? no but it was it was sick yeah but Gervie's it was nice to watch Gervie's muster the courage and he did it he fired one bullet he fired one bullet from the first gun yeah and then stood in the back the entire time. I was like, this just isn't fair. You could've stayed a pussy the whole time. And then a machine gun came out and he fucking did it. It was pretty sick.

That's awesome.

I was proud of you, Garbage.

Thanks, dude.

And then, how about that adrenaline?

That's what I said, like the moment I came off that, I was like, ah.

Yeah, you're like, where's the schools? Oh, I said what is this?

Go easy.

It's a layout.

Bring a Jewish guy to a gun range.

Start shooting the floor.

You know, the target's right there. He's like, well, there's other targets.

There's some.

I hate to say it.

What?

But great, you know, another Jewish lady involved.

She did shoot the ceiling.

Oh, she was hitting everything. Especially before we go in, she's like, I'm good at everything, I'm such a good shoot, like a shot. She gets in there and hits the fucking wall. And they were like, dude, you cannot hit the wall.

The tray.

Those ricochets, you cannot hit the wall.

Dude, the one time his brother took me, he was like, dude,, Black Panther party situation, and I was like, yo. I was like scared. This guy had dreads down here, and he was waving a fucking AR-15 type thing around. This is at 8th and Spring Garden.

Like, I mean, inner city of a small room.

That dude domed someone in COVID.

Dude, and I was like, we all have bullets?

Oh wait, that guy killed someone? Yeah, they tried to break into his fucking spot. I think it's that one. In that area, they fucking come in and just sit in there, dude.

Like camping and calling all this.

He's like, oh, this is-

Finally.

You're a lock, it pops, it's a fucking thing.

Dudes die.

That guy's the man. Yeah, stand your ground. Also, there's nothing- that moment. Nothing makes me happier than seeing black dudes and white dudes together at the range. I was scared though I was like yeah. This is it. Two A boys getting together. I didn't realize it was so expensive though. The ammo. A lot of money. It's not good. They treated us really good. That was awesome. Oh yeah that place is awesome. But yeah, Kirby's. Are you gonna purchase at some point? Yeah, I'm gonna go back

I'm gonna shoot the Glock 9 like that. I that's fun to shoot

Yeah, that was one that after the machine gun that felt like I got my cherry pops enough fucking bonds gun pb7 Yeah, the pb7 dude. Yeah

Gold nine, bro. This is what I'll say about science. I'll get his answer that should be You'll be the next on second of a smile Piece of shit look at him in a tux you should go outside instead. I feel that would calm me down That's what I was saying out outdoor gun ranges are a lot better. Okay, but that gun range was cool And they had like they had this yeah, that was an awesome smoking section. It was like space warehouse. Yeah. I want to see girls. I can't fireplace straight. Usually the best indoor range I've ever seen.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, like the show thing where they have like yours

mainline armor.

Yeah. Yeah.

Keanu Reeves shit. Yeah. He's nice. Shane did that.

Dude. John wick.

Yeah. I go there. If John wick was one Dodge Challenger commercial I'm all at one like all of us one night, and I was like dude

I wish that was just one movie the first John wick. I just watched Randomly like no one was talking about it was like right when I came out great, and I was sitting there watching I was like let's see this piece of shit movie Keanu Reeves action movie fucking dog shit halfway through I was like This might be the best movie. I ever seen. I watched it tonight. It was when I lived in Conchac and then I brought Matt over

and I was like, bro, check this out.

Wait till you see this.

Yeah, he saw it with me, like immediately. And then he was like, shit sucks. And I was like, I swear to God, it's a hot, I watched it like five times. I was like just getting bros over going dude wait do you see this shit that if you flick I say you Is it really really animal animal kingdom animal kingdom dude? It's star-studded, and it's real. It's like a quiet like fucking gangster movie. It's nice Australian gangster

I'll show a crime family nice. I got one for you. You're gonna like this Gurbys has a new theory He just hit me with you think we're like fight club or something. That's right. Yeah that like I'm his Tyler Durden He thinks he's Tyler Durden. Well that I'm his Tyler Durden. He thinks he's Brad Pitt. All right. Hold on I got it. I got it. Like actually grab this room in it. Yeah, you got it. Wait till you hear this

You're the dude you're at Norton. No, he's at you're it. It's just the reverse. Whoa. Yes. Whoa, dude. Yes. That's wild. All the things. All the things that he represses.

He thinks I'm repressing.

So Shane.

And I'm the version. Let's just get our clothes tailored.

But, Gerb.

Let's get hair.

Gerbs, listen. So Shane is the guy looking at.

We're not getting hair.

So Shane's the.

Let's get hair. until we're bald just right. So you're saying Shane's the guy that's looking at the NPC IKEA catalog,

not knowing what to do.

No, no, no, no.

But you're the guy that's living in a house with Bellatrix Lestrange. Yeah, basically, I'm like, those would be the characters, but he's not looking at IKEA catalogs,

he's like watching football and all that stuff.

Right.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting on a plane and I'm going, that sure would look a lot better if you got it tailored. And he's like this and the other.

You're James Bond, Ralph.

And Dave.

The guy who just had a panic attack at the gun range.

Tyler Durden.

Tyler Durden.

That's what you're suppressing.

Damn it. Damn it. That'd be good.

That's it, he's got a Pufner Thomas or him. Chester's gonna implode He thinks I'm repressing things because he says stuff like Oh Jolene's is a the cutest date spot. Don't say this exactly. I say cute. It's a cute It's you somebody would be like what about this bar because oh, that's such a cute date spot I heard him say that and I said no, why are you doing that? We're straight we're all straight what You don't say a cute date spot.

Hey Siri, what does the word cute mean?

Bro, I think you're going to be...

This is so jush.

Appealing in a pretty...

Dang it.

Who uses... Okay, I'll read it.

You don't got your cheaters?

Still listening to me.

Still listening to me.

Fucking still listening to it. So listen to me fucking still listen It was like I'm peeling in a pretty year something. Yeah, you say like babe and shit, which makes me uncomfortable sexy Yeah, babe that that can't wait saying babes and dudes to girls. No. Oh, I mean, I don't know if you're like a Chad It's fine. Yeah, so true. I'm sorry. It makes you uncomfortable. That makes me uncomfortable. Because you're like, bro, this dude's got this kind of- In your head, I wish I could-

I agree.

I need a drop of that, dude.

Drop of that? Machismo. He's trying to wear cowboy hats and cowboy boots. He does. Are you fucking for real? He works out in a cowboy hat and a fucking wife beater in his gym. I only know one other guy that does that. Dude, are you the kid with the magic mic? He listens to Shaboosey while he does it. I don't know who Shaboosey is.

Someone blow me up a double shot of whiz. Yeah. But he can rip pull-ups.

Yeah.

Dude, do you want to be a millionaire?

He is a millionaire.

You are?

She kind of pushed you over the edge. How are you doing?

Do reels of him and cowboy gear doing pull-ups would be great. There's only one other dude I know who wears a cowboy hat and works out. Hold on. It's I don't do it all the time

And you did it worse

It's fucking insane I don't care. I'm not trying to attack you. I sure yeah, I don't know. I don't want to attack you cuz I Don't know attack. I'm never gonna get over this But you guys You two are literally the only ones other than me that'll go Gerben that's nuts. He and him are always around people that are a part of our show.

So we call them theater people. No, not necessarily yes men, but just theater people. So he'll be like, well, it was a cute little date spot. And I'm like, yeah, that's fucking gay, you called it cute. And they're like, he'll look at a lady that works there

and be like, I don't think it's weird to say cute dates. But they're always like, I look right at you and I go, it's fucking cute.

What are you gonna do about it?

Just how guys talk at the Tiger shop.

He's done it again.

When you went on Schultz's podcast, you're like, dude, the hardest thing to do is sing in front of your boys. They all burst it out. Singing in harmony. sing? No, I- He would in that- You played the tape back, I tried really hard not to sing it. I said, guys, you can't, you know. In that scenario, you would enjoy- Yeah. Yeah, would they- It was, I admit in that scenario, it was pretty fun. Well, I tried not to do it. Nothing wrong with

singing. Okay. But- You gotta, there's so much about Gerben you need to know I mean do we use that as saying I hear his music in his car We used to have the same for a church does it matter what listen? Everybody knows for no. I like it Yeah, I don't really go with Pirates of the Caribbean, but like that's just me. That's the least gate like a score No no he's gonna hit a flow rider. He's gonna hit, bro

It's our devastating. Are you YouTube music or Spotify? Spotify when you say no Because I show me who you are Oh because like I Real Lucy goosey with the likes what's that? I'm Lucy goosey with the light. Yeah You may with a list though? Do I make playlists?

So that's a yes.

Of course, it's not an all-American playlist. See, you don't even know what's gay or not at this point. It's all blurred together.

Hold on.

You're ashamed of my point of view, dude. No, I'll point at you because, you know, yeah, see. a senator gets yelled at by a-pen. This is awesome. This is one man. This is just one man having an argument with himself.

There is no Tyler Jordan.

This is the sixth point. I know, I'm gonna have two more beers, you guys are gonna be gone. I'm gonna be down here in the dark.

Shit.

I made that whole thing up, I'm still in my beard.

Google in outfits and stuff. Probably, it's probably happened. You probably feel it. That's like Spade. Dude, you seen Terrence Howard PB Day? No. Spade sent me the clip of Terrence Howard talking to PB Day and he was like, dude, it's just fucked up. And Game of Thrones,

Cersei and the dude started having sex and everyone just started searching incest porn and stuff. I was like, really? No, just you, bro. You started searching incest porn. Well, incest porn rocks. But are you looking up outfits?

You're making me want to rewatch Psychedelic.

So we had a development, like a size development in my,

a what? Oh yeah.

Size development?

My boys are large, yeah.

Yeah, so the shirt that I'm wearing this season.

No, Gerben is Jack. No, no, I still have like that tiny, tiny frame, but I was like, whatever the shirt

is. You're not Lux Maxxon, you're not Life Maxxon, and then you're nothing. There's that.

Well, you know, I like to- Spud versus Gerben. The meeting of the minds.

This is a fucking battle. Spod versus Gurb, the two most different people I've ever met.

I thought you were combining IQ and 160.

Just different versions of autism. It's made one.

You're not autistic. I'm sorry. I can see you're the most visible.

No, I was doing that. Even real.

You know what? I was still clocking you. You're way smarter than I am. I knew that. I saw your face on the 160 IQ and I felt bad because I don't think you're dumb.

He said it obviously.

I think I'm dumb.

Lately you've been saying it a lot and I don't think you're dumb.

Well, you've been saying you are dumb yourself. Yeah, I think I'm smart in like certain ways that matter

but not book smart. And what is your area of intelligence? Like social. I think you're very good at communicating.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, you're not afraid to tell people exactly how you feel.

In a, if you judge I just.

In a dumb brute. No, you're smart. You just, I'm surprised it took you so long to find out you were dumb though. I hit that in like, I was probably 20. High school, you know what I mean? No, no, I think I, no, I waited, I was probably like 30.

You thought you were smart for a little while? I thought I was smart.

We're like, we're not accepted at any college? had and like I'll just figure it out. Yeah. I think it's just getting older. You go, actually I don't fucking know anything. Right. I mean, nothing's going to solve. Nothing's going to ever be fixed. Whatever. Dude. I'm so fucking, oh fuck it. I'll get some beers and be racist. I'm so retarded that I was like sitting in my house, like probably like 2021 and I was like, I can wake up whenever I want go sleep whenever I want I don't

even have to check in with anything of my mom. I would have met that. And I just got to sleep. When I was in high school dude it was like phase two the dumbest classes I was a senior I had freshman in my classes like yeah whatever. Like yeah whatever. That's like fucking retard. You dumb as shit. Yeah, fuck yeah.

Not even trying to hide that.

School's impressive. You're smart.

That must have been nuts for the freshmen that are like, that guy's a senior.

Oh yeah, and Billy was huge. It was like, think about freshmen. The same size. You'd be like, I was like 208. Think of being a freshman and being in the class and like taking breather yeah it's fucking no I get it dude I had a teacher I went to a pizza shop this week and there's like five teenagers in there they're like yo it's like a couple more black it was black teens and they were they were they were nice fellas but paint a picture as I

walked in I was like oh god and then we go to picture do we take it like pictures and then they all sat down and started laughing. And I was just sitting there waiting for my pie.

Oh, brutal.

I think they're making fun of me. They're literally making fun of me after they just asked for pictures. Got me mocked.

Got hurt.

Yeah, it was math where the young kids were, so they were super smart freshmen in my math classes. Yeah, sure. But like, I mean, the freshmen were fucking geniuses. I mean, seriously, low phase algebra.

Phil, you're killing me with this.

I mean, seriously.

This is like a Tyler Turden.

You are, I mean, Tyler Turden. I mean, dude, I told you, I was stoned. Like, I wouldn't do fucking

Now by that time we were in geometry brother I

Yeah, they would tell me it's not what I toss you in the eighth grade Oh phase one no freshman year there's just some reason you're getting like defensive I might I know I'm trying to explain to you the situation freshman year there was a phase one. Senior. It was tough. My one boy, my one boy was dumb as shit with me and then he got on Adderall and started passing everything. He took Adderall. Dude, me and my one boy were like 65, 70s every class or every test. This motherfucker gets on Adderall and starts getting 85s. I was like, bro, how are you figuring this out? He's like, I'm studying. I'm studying. How do you have that? I would go home look at this shit nice fuck

Bill you are the fucking I'm not getting the fence of John explaining his situation. I'm trying to literally show you how stupid this was I was in phase one they get rid of it freshman year because it's a college I'm just in the jackpot. I had to have a two seven. He loves my ass in the jackpot. I think right. It was the 11th all time. Did you put it in season two? Uh, I don't know if it made it. He's he like, he just saw that clip. It was like, I need to say my ass was in the jackpot. Yeah, that's nice. He said it like five, five different scenes.

She's a new slant new slang. I like that. Oh man. I was so bad at math when I went to Drexel that the math class that I was in,

if you were that bad at math, you don't go to Drexel bro. You go to Delaware County community college and get president's lists cause it's the third time you took out for one. I'll tell you what, I failed statistics in college do it three times and then I'm talking that three different universities well I hit Harrisburg Area Community College I was all gonna make some changes shitting on African dudes have no idea what's going on dude y

equals MX is B it's simple community college Community college fucking ruled. Check your work.

Oh, it's the fuck. I took American Civil War. Our teacher was a Gettysburg tour guide. It was me and Harrisburg area community college students. I was the only dude who gave a fuck, and I knew a lot about it already. This guy was like, Shane, thank you, yes.

No one else was paying attention. That was General Meade, right? He'd be like, it was Meade.

I've been here for 10 years. You're the first guy to...

It was.

He's like, wow, anyway, we're gonna have a good day, guys. Did I ever tell you about my last semester at Temple, when I screenshotted the wrong week?

Yes. Dude, I was at Temple, when I screenshotted the wrong week. Yes.

Dude, that I was at Temple, and I was taking literally the-

It's like when I went to school in 9-11.

Is this senior year?

No, this is like my second, or I went to Temple my sophomore and junior year, but I was taking three classes a semester, because I was like, bro, you can take three classes, don't give a fuck. Right. I was like, bro, you can take three classes, don't give a fuck. Not realizing you gotta take all of them to get out of college.

I took a screenshot of my semester after spring break, but we were off MLK day. So I had physics, construction safety class, and some other things on Monday. Physics lab. So I was going to physics.

I screenshot this, I don't know, I thought I'm off Mondays. I was chillin Sundays I was like dude, we can do whatever the fuck we want on school. I go in

Dude still passed it still passed it by lunch

Dude

So I fucking went for a month and I'm in physics and they're talking about wall during the lab We went over this and I had I thought the lab was something people are going to or into physics yeah literally no fucking clue and then I finally realized that I've been missing my Mondays for a month. All the Monday labs? Yes and my construction safety class I rolled into my construction safety class after a month of not being there was literally like I fucking didn't know I had this class and the chick let me and I passed that but

physics I got a 46 on the test I came in I was trying to find that Green Bay Packers jersey you bought I was gonna wear it I fucking went to the fit I went I don't know where it is. Oh, you got a fucking Reggie one? Yeah, I got a 92.

The P9000, 5000.

I fucking went to the... I had milk. The way you're talking. It's just matter of fact. It's just matter of fact. What is like sine waves and shit?

Sine, cosine? Cosine, what is that? I think they're amplitude. What's the type of math that is tricking out? I have no idea. Go into fucking my trip. Let's get a 46 dude. I was like, what's her what's a bell curve? Because I thought we'd all pass because everyone failed it. No one

failed it. And then I show up the dude is in class like today is the last day of the ad drop. I was like for the ad drop Do you have to pay for it if you drop the class this day? He's like no you don't that's in two weeks if you don't go out in two weeks, then you have to do it I was like alright guys got my book bag left college Wow dude, I was like this is a fucked situation like there's no way I'm passing this shit. I can't, look, I'm not- Engineering is the construction management. I'm not making fun of you.

I did the same thing with calculus. Three, calculus.

I took calculus two times and I got a 33.

Yeah. The way I failed out of Elon was hilarious, dude. After I quit football, I just stopped going to class. I just drank in a house.

Were you not going to class at all? Like fucking. So you were skipping class. One or two a week.

Yeah. That's what I did, yeah. And then went home for Christmas break

and they were like, you're expelled.

I was like. Oh shit.

I was like, oh shit, I gotta tell my parents. While I was home for Christmas break, like I'm not going back. I didn't know I was getting kicked out either. I had all my shit in North Carolina. I mean, it was, I was in a fucking, it was dark dude. I was in my parents' basement crying. I was like, mine's way more jovial than that. We like went, I was working at a trash incinerator that we had to cover with clean fucking fill.

So we picked all the trash out, got rid of it, covered it with all these rocks, but we could only have a certain size stone. So my dad was like, dude, just pick any of the big rocks out and this place is like a football field of just rocks. So I'm just sitting there looking down, grabbing my uncle rolls up in a trash truck.

And he's like, what fucking quit. I was like, okay. So then I quit and started driving trash trucks. Nice.

I didn't have any support.

How did you get to here?

I went to George Washington and then failed out of that. Then went to Delco. Like a Delaware County. Yeah, and then failed out of that.

Did you fail out of Delco?

Yeah, I was a watch tester for six years. And then I finished at Drexel. You fucking A. How'd you get into Drexel if you filled out Delaware County? Because the guy that ran the screenwriting program had tried to get me, because I wrote a script

my senior year when I was in high school.

Was it tires?

Wasn't tires.

You wrote that at Drexel though, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, that was my senior project.

And he fucking failed out.

Well, I did graduate Drexel. Oh you did? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you were dumb as fuck. Well I failed out of George Washington

and then Delaware County Community College.

George Washington's hard to get into, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, Drexel's not, he's not dumb.

Yeah.

Drexel's hard to get into.

No, but he failed out without drinking really.

Oh, there's other things I can get. I was missing class. Same thing, after I fell out, I was living at my parents' house. I did go to every class at Delaware County Community College.

When I went to community college, I locked in. After West Point, after Elon, two years later I'm at community college next to the Farm Show Complex in Harrisburg.

Oh my God.

Oh my, oh man.

I had a duker bottom. Mine was, no, no way. Tell her kind of college. I was in heaven. You could smoke on campus and shit. So like me and all the kids just go out in between classes, rip butts, go to McDonald's.

I love LA your gradient of like how sick shit is

is what you're allowed to do.

Yeah.

I'm not meant can't even imagine. We're allowed to smoke? Yeah.

Can you imagine if you had to go to school?

No, it would be crap.

If my job tomorrow was to go to meetings from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. I'd think about that.

You'd have to ... The only thing, the chair, hemorrhoids, forget it. Jesus. That would definitely suck. Yeah. Are they permanent? They are. And I sit long enough. I don't know. I got a weird thing going on, but it's like, yeah, sitting on a plastic

chair for that many hours, just listening to stuff you couldn't care less about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, if you're like my life is teaching, I mean, obviously there's some good ones, but lost is behind that. Lost. I'm just saying like, obviously he's good teachers, but there's some that's like, all right, bro. My mom's a teacher. She's a good teacher.

Hello.

While I was in school, one of the teachers got busted for having sex with the kids. Few of them actually. One I moved-

Was it all boys school?

Yeah.

One I'm, it was like prison.

One I moved her into her house, but I was retarded so I wasn't picking up on anything that was going on. Yes, Gerben, yes. Well, it's just, yeah.

Yeah, it's getting rowdy.

Yeah.

No, I'm not getting rowdy.

You're just getting rowdy.

We're almost done.

You don't have to be in tomorrow, right?

But that doesn't mean I'm going to get ready.

No, no, no. I was just asking. Oh, I was trying to be cool with all the kids in the class and she was buying them beer and shit, and then she started talking shit to the one kid in class and he was like, I'll be right back. Went to the principal's office, yeah, she's having sex with one of the students.

Got her booted.

Legendary, shit, honestly.

I was told, yeah.

She's a fucking. you talk about school. It is so funny. Honestly, you are Phil Gillis. You are the exact same dude. The way he talks is ... I go in there. I go, what the fuck is this shit? I fucking got a 46. I thought there was a fucking Belker. I paid on a Belker. You know research papers? But there's like ... I think five was my all-time max.

I did write a paper in Temple that was awesome. How many pages? And it was five.

And it was porn, the libido killer. I had a whole paper on porn.

Dude gave me an A plus, it was cool shit.

That's man, that's fair. Yeah.

Tangential. And then, yeah, in high school we had to write like a research paper. I chose Alphonse Capone, the worst. kids to do it and the teacher was just like, all right man, obviously what am I, seriously. You were like, dude, I am kunk. Yeah, my boy Shaw wrote it, shout out Shaw.

I didn't pay anybody but I took my roommate's paper from the year before and just handed it in to the same teacher and she was like, you think I don't know, you don't think I don't remember Kevin?

I was like, motherfucker. I'm taking this day off. The thing that, the real shit about being fucking stupid is being too stupid to cheat, because a lot of the smart kids can fucking cheat. And I would be like.

There's like, I think a higher echelon.

Yeah, they're so good at cheating.

Yeah, that's all it is.

Like the super top is all cheating.

All my boys that were in like AP shit were cheating their balls off,

and I was like, fucking how? I've told this before, but I cheated a lot. How do you cheat though? You get people to write your shit?

Yeah, no.

You don't test.

We had a, yeah, he would give us the same test. So the class before, this girl would just give me her calculator and I would just,

I'd get like 100 on everything.

That's crazy. And then I was a recruiting visit for football, so I missed the test day and then he was like, here's the makeup test. And it was like four, just four problems, that was it. Because he loved the football team, and he was trying to, he was like, come on bro, I got you. I couldn't, I didn't know one.

One red.

I didn't know one.

I wrote three for every single answer and just handed it back to him, and I was like, I don't know one thing about what you, I don't even know this subject.

I haven't listened once. Yeah, we had none of the chicks doing us any favors because it was all dudes, so. Oh, that's tough. Just dudes is tough to cheat. You're just fucking around.

There's like, there's no, cheating's physically impossible. Yeah, it'd be tough with just guys. Dude, writing that shit on your calculator, you would have to at least know the equations a little bit if you had the cheat sheet in the calculator slip. I would sit there and be reading like.

No, no, he would give us multiple choice answers. It was Scantron tests. Oh, God. And then he gave do a real test, like no Scantron, just like do the work. Oh, you didn't have to show the work on the Scantron? No, it's a Scantron, it's multiple choice.

Damn, I usually would have Scantron and worksheet. Oh, yeah, yeah, we did actually have those and other ones, but no, this guy would just toss us a Scantron.

Bro.

This lady would just write A It can't be, stop. I hear. It has to be.

It has to be wrong.

Little fucking roulette. You guys have been red too often, dude. Oh yeah. It's black. My fucking SATs, I'm like McAvenues, I'm 960.

I like you.

I can't read, I'm like you. I'm like you guys, I can't even fucking read. president dude is bulletproof somehow he walks through all that shit all you have to do is not be Trump yeah true you're gonna get if trucker comes as the next president though I'm not voting them trucker yeah I see your fucking Alps bro trucker calls in here his Alps shipment just got stolen you like trucker I love we're on the same vibe you're on the same vibe but are you on that are you on that fucking Christian weird shit?

Christian weird shit? The stuff that you said you were on at the beginning of the podcast? Catholicism, bro.

There's a big difference.

No, I fucked in. Trucker's definitely not Catholic. No, Trucker's into Kabbalism.

Trucker wears both honestly, but. Yeah, he found Protestant Christ. Oh, really? Is that?

100% that guy's not Catholic.

Do they have Jesus?

What's Protestant?

It's the exact same, yeah.

What's the difference?

We have the Pope, bro.

We have the Vatican. Oh, they have a Pope. We have the church. Oh, okay. They have, and also, I kinda just like the shit he puts up about like, fuck it, Israel and shit. I gotta be honest, he's been fuckin'

kinda nailin' it lately, but. Yeah, it feels a little too good. I started watchin' that and like, fuckin', if you, you gotta watch the Jones on Duncan Trussell. He get like halfway through it, he goes back to his old shit and sayin' like, three dimensional beings that are more powerful than the fourth dimension beings, but they're using us,

and we think they're more powerful than us, and they're gonna use AI to take us out so then they can come.

Who the fuck are the fourth dimensional beings?

Yeah, instead of assigning to the fourth dimensional naturally, they're gonna create a false dimension

through AI.

Yeah.

We'll all be plugged into the matrix.

How does he know all that? Um, it was like a futurist, a futurist, uh, wrote an art, like a, I don't know what they call it. Like a white paper for Arpanet before DARPA.

Before like reads old, like futurist papers. And I'll tell you what, Jolena is just a cute little date. So angle that bag.

Fuck the fucking fourth dimension, dude.

I'm here.

I just went to roots. That is actually pretty good. You went to where? Roots. Where's that at? In Westchester.

It's a tasty little cute spot. It's a cute spot.

It's a tasty what?

It's a cute spot.

Are you like going out on many dates? Is this why you say it's a cute spot?

Yeah, he's swimming in pussy. I'm not swimming in pussy, no, drowning.

I'm not drowning. And, uh... How often do you go on dates? Just curious. Serial dates. You don't actually have to say that. Oh, thank you. Okay.

We're just bullshitting. We can totally edit this out.

Yeah. Or not. Blink twice. No, no, we don't have to.

Yeah. But no, I mean, I'm dating, and so...

Having fun, as they call it. Well, I'm dating intentionally. I do think I would want my wife to find out.

Your first hole. Funny, sure, yeah. Trying to find your first one.

I'm looking for my forever hole.

Your forever hole is crazy.

Hey, man, he found his.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Thanks, man.

I mean, there's no hiding it now.

The hole.

You got your ring, bro.

That's sick.

I was like, bro, Spades always told me to wear rings, bro.

Wear rings.

Hold on. Let me throw that in the fire real quick.

Forged it.

Very weird. You ever wear rings or anything like that? How far do you go? Oh, he's tried everything. Wearing a lot of it like Jack Sparrow if it wasn't for Ed Thornton, dude Yeah, you remember in Fight Club and Tyler Dern was like dude Ed Norton would think this is so gay Although I mean the only thing is I think you can totally punch German you just go Six I'm both have six back have hit a little bit actually a

Exit velocity on this if you did die, I don't know how far I would go

in the other direction.

I think I finally got through to you.

Yeah.

Here's how I knew I got through to you.

Yeah.

The Savannah Bananas.

The Savannah Bananas.

That was a major test. I sent him a video of the Savannah Bananas and I was like, this is your shit. What is that? The Harlem Globetrotters. They're like Hawkeyes. I very much respect it. Yeah, they're all fucking nasty at baseball, which it actually even pissed me off even more because they do all these cutesy dances.

And I was like, these fucking dorks. Then I watched them catch a double play between their legs. I was like, all right, these guys are fucking nasty.

Yeah, they're very talented.

The dances, but they're, I don't know, you gotta see it. They're the Harlem Globetrotters. In my opinion, it was right up Gerby's alley as far as what he, in his mind, if he could be anything,

he'd be a Savannah Banana.

Right.

I thought for sure I was correct on this. I sent him a reel of the Savannah Bananas dancing. I said, this is your shit. No. No, and he said no, and I was I was very what is your shit like war hero what what you want to be a war?

Why did everybody react like that? No?

Oh, what hero like a famous warrior? Yeah, you know what could be anything

Watching masters in the air be like this is totally like the line of Tel Aviv

captain

Captain America you like a fighter pilot. Oh, yeah 2020 vision like maps though yeah, Sean our Shaw yeah boys But pilot not a Samantha, but then he told me yeah that I've thankfully I've Gotten in I've gotten through the defenses. I've gotten through the iron done. He came in and now I'm in the firecrackers. I was just wearing Burberry pants. They're black. Shut up. What? I was wearing sweats. Tommy's fiance bought me a bunch of clothes and I've picked these right here. Well, I'm

just saying I'm not out shopping. I'm not fucking. It's dude But I went out somewhere trying to find a pair of pants. I never Grab I grabbed the wrong side This will shrink my ass sweats my armpits sweat and I leave that's every trip to the mall. Yeah Well, it's a little too bright in there. He told me he was like I saw that video of Savannah bananas

I thought to myself

We I saw that video of Savannah Bonares and I thought to myself, we're fucking queers. And I was like, yes, we've reached it. The Sopranos.

That's just the warrior.

That is the warrior on them. Is that why you send me gay guys kissing on Instagram? Me? Trying to see if that's my stuff. I'll tell you what, that backfired because now my algorithm froze. Yeah. How about, dude, did I say you're one of the guy's ass cheeks? Yes. The guy with the thickest fucking cheeks?

There's a new one I've been watching where it's a big, tall white man that acts perfectly like a black woman and he has a little black boyfriend and they walk around. No, stop.

It's crazy.

It's fucking great.

It's crazy.

I'm going to show it to you.

Yeah, I'd like to see it. and they do like she like the dude literally does the hand signals like blackjack it's very fucking insane gotta find who the hell that why did you leave your cheaters in the truck brother i thought about getting them your what my glasses i don't know yeah i've been sending you a lot of shit with that one gay podcaster talks about like getting nut in his face and shit what jesus i sent you all those reels for the intros. You got to take the cans off. Oh, the guy that says, you have your pants down. You want me to eat that cake? That's killing me. I'll take the headphones off. I had to fucking listen.

Here's the guy who's like when they're talking about the Giza. Oh, the browsers. You've changed Bill. I've changed. I literally can be more normal. I get paid to do gay shit, mate. There you go That's a dude who this is fake dude, it's real she does he does like fucking girl hand signals and shit, that's great

Turn out the song I think it might get us. It's all about making guys toes curls as a dude.

Anyway, I got like 83 points in one game.

Trying to figure out what sporting event he's at based on the old painting. It's like New Mexico or something like that. Oh, a little New Mexico state. That's a Wolfpack Stadium right there. She does that. I mean, it's huge.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No problem. You're a screen blocker, I can't see ya.

So who, oh, it's loading down here, Shane's goon cave.

Oh, so, okay.

That's a man.

I understood.

Look at that.

Look at that barren trough.

For real, it's crazy. That's what's gonna happen to everyone if everyone keeps it down this road. What, with the- Taking peptides and look-maxing with huge asses. It's not going to stop.

Is anyone actually look-maxing?

You look like you come from a bottle, dude.

What?

Gerben's fucking look-maxing. Gerben is look-maxing, but he's not-

You got that Reagan hairline. Yeah. Kerwin's like cash right now. He hasn't gotten into, there's no substances.

No peptides?

No.

No, this is natural. Dude, wait until he finds out about peptides.

Tell me about peptides.

You're gonna be like Cath the Cat.

Oh yeah, I just lost him.

I told you I was gonna take peptides today Billy and he's like, dude, you gotta take Glo, take Retta.

What the fuck was the other ones, Gio or?

Oh, I forget. You gotta pin to win, they say.

Yeah.

I'm sorry?

I can't inject anything, so I'm just gonna have to be a lifetime natural.

Can you inject stuff?

You're fuckin' good.

I'm trying. This is the best you've looked. They're not steroids, Derrick. You look like a tier 1 operator. I'll be fat in three weeks. I'll hurt myself. Is this not the best he's looked in a while?

I'll hurt myself.

I don't really pay attention.

I see him all the time, too.

I don't see him enough. You should see Spade's son is jacked.

He's enormous, dude. He's literally like...

How tall is this boy already? Yes, his frame is actually like creating a fullback. Yeah for real. It might be it might be Mike all-stars He was given birth my cost. My call sides were my favorite football player. Could he be the last fullback? I mean the game's gonna change so much. I don't know if I'll reach the height. He could bring back the fullback Fucking Cincinnati's Charlie boy Republicus Because some of the public could be the final fullback Damn, he's a unit. Yeah, it's fucking stout. Oh, it's got a dome dude. He's got a Jones bill. Oh wow

Oh my god. Yeah hardy boys

That's a guy who punches metal for fun

I enjoy the frame.

Cute.

Cute. That makes sense.

That's cute. Yes. A bar is cute.

Him and a bar have nothing in common.

This episode is brought to you by Rouget. You know how it is. Sometimes things are getting spicy, but you're, let's say, their words, not mine, little guys just not cooperating. That's where Aroojiet Ready comes in. It's a three-in-one ED treatment that dissolves fast on your tongue to start working in about

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Also it's probably sold out but there is that link show. Go to ShaneGillis.com. Is it Shane Gillis or Shane M? Let me double check here. Let me see guys. I'm sorry to hold you up here.

I just want to make sure I got the information correct. Otherwise it would be pretty rude. I didn't even do this episode. I can't just plug my shows. That would be very rude of me to do that. Lincoln Financial Field, it is ShaneMGillis.com by the way.

ShaneMGillis.com. Let's see if Lincoln Financial Field is sold out. Hold on guys. Let's see if Lincoln Financial Field is sold out. Hold on guys.

Let's see.

Guys, we got to sell this out. It's getting close. If you think, oh, it's not for a while, I should be fine. You're a fucking fool. I don't see a lot of blue in this thing. Gray means sold out.

Boys, this is about to go. It's about to fucking go guys. Get your motherfucking tickets at Shane and Gillis calm Oh back to the episode

Pardon the interruption pardon the interruption. This is Sean Gardini I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah wise guys comedy club March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall. So please come see that show if you'd like. And I'll be at the comet in Cincinnati. Not comet ping pong, just the comet in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So please come to those. That was a little

joke there. But I'd like I'd really like to see you guys at the show. So please come if you can. Tickets are at seangardini.com, and we also have Optimum Noctis at the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas, me, Nate Marshall, and LaMare Lee

every first and third Tuesday of the month. So thank you very much for your time. Pardon the interruption.

Enjoy the rest of the show. And we're back, dude. Did you see smashing machine now? Fuck. No, no, but I love the documentary. The marker thing. Yeah. The original documentary where he's like, can I tell you something that the documentary fucked something up for me with Mark Kirk? Cause when you watch him, he's such a badass. and just like the way he like, in the documentary too, he's like ragdoll. This is like when UFC was dudes with mullets and karate pads. And then he's in there with like actual spandex,

and he's just like our good wrestler. It's the first time he interviews, and he goes,

I was just going to kick the chair.

That's real soft, yeah. It's like a special. It's like a special. It's like a special. The rock talks like that. It's perfect. He does the voice.

He's so good.

Dude, I think the rock's great. That might give me that right there. That might give me this either.

It made the entire movie. He was on an airplane at one point going to Tokyo and he's like fucking huge in like a aisle seat and the lady's sitting next to him Excuse me, can you put that down? I love the sunsets. Now, dude, the best. He calls about his tummy.

Yeah, the best is when he's at the fair, he's trying to go on the Gravitron, and he's like, you know I can't go on that with my tummy.

Yeah, it's perfect.

It's one of the best.

I only watched the old documentary that was on, I think it was like on HBO, I'm injecting pain. Yeah, I didn't even know that in the dock when you see him doing it you're like Also, we made that documentary made Japan look nuts Cuz it was like before we knew a lot about it and they were just doing these like Tokyo Dome Yeah, fucking tournament lights. Yeah, and it was like dude that was a night ride and all that shit. It's on the documentary

Yeah, I usually early 2000s screen

Yeah, I was it was like oh to right after the height on the documentary. Yeah, I mean early 2000s. It's great. Yeah, it was like oh to

Right after the height of Super Mario. Yeah You've been on a real Super Mario. I did Super Mario land. I'm on three threes hardest fuck bro I'm not a lot that's actually hard paddle slamming territory like I fucking died and I just grabbed the controller

What's your top shit right now? Tanuki suit? Yes, dude. Tanuki suit's top. You know the name of it?

No, I'll only race in a Tanuki suit. I know Tanuki Mario. Yes.

Easily the greatest.

He does three applications.

Dude, the Tanuki raccoon suit.

Yeah, it's hilarious.

It's Tanuki?

Tanuki. Yeah. No clue. It's a kind of I think it's like a mixed breed of something You're a raccoon dog a mix of all raccoon dog recently, and I was pretty fucking fired up about it actually Let me look up if what a Timmy is it has to be a raccoon, but there's I don't know into Nuki

Oh, it's a new Kimari. Oh, I love you mark. Did they say that in the game? I mean they'll say shit my whole life. I'm good man fucking raccoon dog is what?

What is that is that a real dog?

sir Domesticated right no no it's not domesticated. It's just an animal take a slaw face It's an Asian. I think that's probably what it's the tanuki is based off of Japanese raccoon dog What is it actually a real mammal native to Japan known known for its fox-like appearance, mask-like markings, and thick brown non-ringed tail. Give me credit. In Japanese folklore-

They're trying to call you dumb.

Yeah.

No, I was wondering. They're supernatural shapeshifters.

Me and Altisla are kids now because we watch Super Mario 3 stuff when we eat. Supposedly you don't- You're watching YouTube videos, we get through it. Right, if you watch YouTube or TV while you eat. What? Because your mind is watching the TV so you don't digest as good as you should.

So you just go into a deprivation tank and chew? It's impossible. I literally eat like this sometimes.

I have to have a YouTube video to eat.

I just put one on at a truck stop eating burger cake.

Yes.

Like a toddler, I put my phone on on its little side. I always just try to be gay not McDonald's. They didn't have you lied to me. I was gonna get McDonald's So jealous I taste something really you're getting rest stop McDonald's and I was genuinely wants me. Okay, like what's what's the hierarchy? Well, McDonald's is the best McDonald's now, but let me tell you I just call Wendy's fell off when I fell off really hard Wendy's fell off. Let me tell you right now That's bright that I got that's right

Was fucking terrific that sir they've been hit me with reels about the big arch, and I'm like I want to look at it

I'm like oh

If I need a sesame if I if I have a stomach full of BK I would do a clunter field trip to get a big arch

We're I was talking to Sutter about eating before bed. I was like dude. I can't do it

I don't have to sleep. How he does it I even cereal my I I used to Sutter about eating before bed. I was like, dude, I can't do it. Sutter said, that's how he does it. I eat with cereal. I used to eat cereal.

CCC, whether it's your choice, Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Cereal's horrible, but you're not supposed to drink milk right before you go to bed.

I'm 70 pounds heavier than I was in high school.

That's all milk weight.

You are, buddy. Milk is like a drug. It is. It's the best. I love it. I can drink a gallon of milk in like a day and a half.

It's funny, I got prolead. When I was a kid, I would drink milk like water.

I would chug.

I didn't do that, dude.

I always hated eating at my friends' houses because then their parents had to see how much milk I drank. One bowl of cereal? One bowl? bowl. I bet. Hey, Mike, you cut off. What'd you say to me? Yeah. Dude, my cousin, my cousin that shared a driveway with us on the compound there, they had 10 kids. Jesus, dude. I think there was a dedicated farm for their milk intake

because it was like milk with spaghetti. Then we get four. It's just spaghetti. I've

done the rules every single time I've had spaghetti. It's like liquid parmesan.

I remember being 17 or 18 and seeing the bill and it was $400.

This is like 1999 and they had four gallons of milk at a time.

Always.

Ajax would come in and just slam the fucking cows. Yeah, I bet McCusker Household was going through the mill.

Or you guys were like the grown cowskies.

Ajax just released an album. Oh, yeah, Ajax McCusker on Spotify and eat voice of an angel bro. Well just so you know

That's about the hit 450

Dude out of the depths with a diabetes port Fucking crushing from the third floor. You're charting Kyron's doors

Dude, listen to Ajax McCusker. to it. It's like fucking sick shit. He has the voice of an angel,

but he's like six foot eight.

He's huge.

That's what I want.

It's like Andre the Giant if you could sing.

That's what I want. That's the funnier, that's like the Mark Kerr voice.

It's powerful as no, no. Go to Spotify. He has a- Go on Spotify. Just search J. Jackson McCusker. It has to come up. Everything that comes up, Kyron's doors.

Just look by artist.

Yeah, there it is. Kyron's doors, perhaps. John McCusker?

No.

Fuck is John McCusker?

I mean- Comes up for me. put up music. Like, you know, if you're awesome, that's great. But if you suck, you're just like, oh no.

Get it?

Put up.

Hit it.

Yes. Hit top plate, give Sutter a taste.

I mean, the quality is insane.

Has he played this?

No, he did it with like an AI thing.

He's singing.

It's ominous.

We'll give you some Ajax lore. I'd smoke and drive to this shit.

Yeah.

Jax used to like stand at the perimeter of our school where like the actual feet would end where the school property was and smoke reds in front of our disciplinarian. Just rip Marlboro Reds and look into the hill and just be like what are you gonna do about it?

You're selling this album. I'm not on school property. He can. I know but I mean. Dude the McCostries had that music. He needs it. It's a long intro honestly come on a Jackson you gotta hear his fucking voice to know

it's coming fast forward it's almost like it's a bit every time yeah good Yeah. Good instrumental intro. I don't do it anymore. That was the best. That was the best fact I've ever heard.

I really was like, there's no... Fast forward.

This is like a seven minute intro.

They don't do that anymore.

This is B-side shit.

It's like Journey to the Social.

He's not singing.

He might have uploaded the instrumental by accident.

It might be the wrong song. anymore. It's a jury. The

feel like a troll. Dude, Carmen stores. No, that's it.

That break in was so funny. It was like

that's AJ. That's crazy.

He had voice lessons though in high school. Not taken away.

That's AJ.

Damn.

Yeah, he can wail.

Ajax used to also be able to memorize books.

Yeah.

He knew what was on pages of books.

You mean a new walkout song, bro?

Little Ajax. Amy Holt.

Yes.

Crush that shit. Dude, I'll bless Ajax before shows. That'd be fucking sick.

Dude, that'd be awesome.

I need Ajax to sing the national anthem. He would do that in a heartbeat. Link, did that delay your shit?

Nah.

Dude, he would July. July. Is that his cross to bear that he has to sing

at every McCusker wedding?

Cross to bear, bro.

Yeah, fucking.

The whole family loves music.

He used to do church.

The entire family. Ave Maria. Oh, my God.

That'd be nuts.

Him and his sister. Ave Maria.

Together at weddings, yes, it's fucking great. a legit six five heat and probably three yeah probably yeah fluctuate 320 just a goblet goblet of milk long and unless you're looking he has the he did a talent show in high school where he did a Metallica song I don't know which one it was it was nothing else that's a saying oh really it's the fantasy of every teenager is to rip it at a talent show. Rip Metallica. And some 33-year-olds who are just driving along. Oh, dude, is that Thick and Back?

Yeah. Thick and Back where you go, come out to ACDC and I wail on guitar.

So sick.

All of the senior girls want to suck my dick.

I wish I could have gotten head. Guys like video taping himself getting head like that's a thing I don't watch the documentary see a monster what people filmers only throughs in England with this guy on Hs tiki-taki, and he's like yeah, dude I video if you go if you join my telegram you can watch me get head and I'm like dude

This is a fucking thing these guys are doing when these streams are getting wild not change subject Our stream's gonna have to, we're gonna have to pick it up. Jesus, yeah. Maybe we should quadruple kiss. You gotta get Herod and Marbella.

Somebody do that. Tongue dog pile.

That's full kegs.

You gotta go to Ibiza.

And he's just singing to himself with a beautiful voice, rolling kegs like they're nothing.

That's a real man.

Donkey Kong?

Look at him. Yeah, he was a unit. Yeah, he's just picking up cake. There's something about a staff t-shirt on a guy with long hair I know just doesn't just doesn't for me. Did you know that guy? He's up to some yeah, I like it Yeah, you can be a ponytail a snap a staff t-shirt. I've tried many times to grow my hair never worked You'd look great. My head just comes increasingly bigger You gotta take the weight out of it get it cut I do that then I look like you might be the fucking Noggin boy what size hat do you wear? I don't I did it don't you know not everywhere fitted hats

I like can't fit in a regular hat. I think it Sutter has a beat. I threw it. I wear an ace. He's sponsored by the big hat yeah oh they're big hat I did a commercial for the guy that he played it all over and he's like I'll send you big ads and then he made me a Miami Dolphins hat when McDaniel was the coach of the Dolphins and I went to a game and my other friend that I grew up with Chad when we're on the field he goes Soda's wearing unlicensed NFL gear I hope all

the NFL coaches get that cool dude yeah oh Yeah. Oh, yeah. McKeever's got it. He should all be that chill.

Yeah.

Me and McKeever could, you guys could go dumb for dumb.

Burt's head's a size eight. Like, I think he's the only person I know there's-

Who?

Burt Kreischer. He's got a size eight. That could be Roydhead, though. How's that? True, he's on testosterone? Probably. Dude, it's so funny when Barry Bonds' head shrunk back down and then he showed back up in public. I'm a huge Giants fan and you're like, he's not on steroids and his head would go to the top of his head to his shoulder.

And then he'd bump.

If it was in the strike zone, it was gone.

Gone, dude, you'd be out of it.

You'd be like pow. Dude, but when McGuire and Sisser were going for it, dude, it was fucking the best thing ever.

Well, that's why Bonds got on steroids, because they said there was a dinner at Ken Griffey Jr.'s house, and they're all talking about it, and he was like, want to see me do droids? And then he just was like, I'll just crush it.

He's the best player of all time.

It's crazy. He could have died. He's not even close. He's the best player of all time. Yeah, he could have died in 1998 and been easily a first-battle Hall of Famer other than he played. I forget the exact stat, but his, the walks, the on bases he took were more than teams. Combined.

He had more walks than like the Devil Rays that year. The funny thing was watching him. He would just go onto the plane and be like, take first. He'd put on his elbow guard or whatever, and then he'd know they're walking him, and he'd get really huffy, where he'd go like, take off his elbow guard, and be like, you won't pitch to me.

But he'd do this.

I'd do this, dude, if I had to run.

Oh, they would always I'm a trap. Well, he was a stolen base guy originally when he was like with the

Pirates use

Him and McGuire was nasty. Yeah McGuire was skinny other they started to choose it. How hard were you guys chain from McGuire over so?

So I loved it

Am I right brothers?

Berry come on mark of wires I was just young enough to be like, Come on, Mark McGuire! Sosa turned into Franken- He really did!

Sosa is the Frankenberry. It's so real! Do you remember that video game? It was happening to my skin.

Sammy Sosa's baseball is so real! Sammy Sosa fucking rules though. I think that's what happens. You get a little older, you go, Actually, Sosa was the man. McGuire's obviously the main. When you're a young white man, you go, I'd like to see Mark McGuire win.

He looks like my dad.

A red-haired man that has freckles on his-

Josh McGuire.

Yeah. Looks like he's got his forearms

tanned from mowing the lawn.

Sosa, Sosa sprinting with the American flag in the outfield at Wrigley.

I think it was right after 9-11. Oh yeah.

Come on now.

Yeah.

That's what it's all about. Sosa was the man, but Bonds was like the guy that everyone hated, so it was fun to like him and be like shitty about it. And you were a Giants fan too. Yeah, I was like he never got caught he never got caught when bow co is happening I did the exact same I did and then he stopped playing it. He just comes back to earth and yeah Yeah, he's definitely sir. What's?

Giants I love the Giants damn. I must have been so nice that there were times in the world series though never won You've until 2010 yeah, but lost 89, lost in 02. It sucked.

Was it Lincecum?

Lincecum was the main.

Lincecum was the main.

Long hair, fuckin' whipped it. His dad had a clause in his contract that a pitching coach couldn't change his release. Sick. He was like, you're not fuckin' with my boy's release. Like the way he threw the ball, they couldn't come in and go, you gotta just take your arm. He'd be like, don't touch the boy.

He was awesome.

I remember watching a Giants double header. I don't know if it was with the Phillies, but I watched this. And this went on for like two days. And it went into like way extra innings, like 17 innings. It was fucking nuts, dude. Wait, you watched like on TV or like back as you sat down and watch the double down and started It was like a fucking and it went in an extra inning. So this is fucking not back in the day. No pitch clock. Yeah

That's no internet. Nothing just feel like this dream. I'm like sitting there like dude this games on over yet We had a good read it in cycle. We that mid 90s John. Yeah, hell yeah damn The mid 90s Phillies were goats a baseball in Philly was like yeah most popular fucking thing ever

He said the baddest team you said the coolest team you had the coolest colors you the Braves were the new uniform Braves were the villains, but you guys had fucking Kruk. Then you had Nails.

H. Williams.

Wild Thing.

Oakland always beat our ass, so it was always like-

Oakland rules.

Oakland was great. Ricky Henderson. Ricky Henderson is the funniest baseball player of all time.

I've never heard him talk.

I heard Barry Bondson.

He talks in third person. The funniest Ricky Henderson story of all time is one of his teammates was talking about John 316, and then Ricky Henderson walked over, he goes, Ricky, don't care if John hit 316, Ricky gonna hit 350. But he was third person.

Man. That's powerful.

You guys started going third person. Me? Shane doesn't like that.

Shane doesn't care about that.

Who, me? Never heard of the Bubs. Oh man, we put together a good pod today. Gerby's was firing. Yeah. Gerben is the funniest dude ever. Gerben thinks that he is Tyler Durden to Shane and Shane.

That's crazy.

Yo, he's crazy.

That's crazy. That's a that's crazy that's a crazy day he's nuts he thinks he's Brad Pitt yeah he goes as a six-pack just in general does not does have a great body yes thank you maybe this is what happens when you get

a six-pack if you get a six-packorton? That's like God giving giraffes long necks

so that they can eat.

The shit he does on set during tires is, you'd lose your mind. If I, he gets there before me every day, so I get into hair and makeup after him, and he sings, while he's in hair and makeup, he like sings songs with the girls.

Excuse me?

You must be in heaven, dude.

It's his favorite thing in the world.

What kind of songs?

I like it.

Fucking show tunes, what do you think?

He doesn't sing.

I don't know that he's doing that.

No, no.

Yanky Doodle Dandy, the music he likes. You come in, he's like, ah, little man in the box. The way, the music he likes, the glasses he wears,

like everything he does is so fucking funny. Movie star.

Yeah, dude, I love it.

He's so funny.

He is, you're Dr. Frankenstein.

No, he is.

You're at Norton.

He's so funny.

Dude, the fact that he thinks.

But I'm getting, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. He's so funny. Dude, hit the fact that he thinks. But I'm getting to him. We were talking about it earlier. I sent him the Savannah bananas and it got through to him. I was like, you like this shit? And he was like, shit's gay.

And I was like, yes.

Yes, brother, yes.

You're starting to see it. Yes. I think it, yeah. That was him going, oh. That is water.

Dude, they do his hair.

They shampoo his hair.

While they're shampooing his hair, he's like, oh, yeah. Dude, stop.

One of the other hair and makeup girls filmed it and sent it to me. It was like, this is what he's doing in here. Now, they're-

Yeah, cut love it. No, no, no, no, no. They love it. He sounds like a fucking porno director from like 2003. This girl's doing his shampoo and he's going, holy shit. But I swear the girls, those girls love him.

I get in there and they're like, Steve's so nice, you're mean and I'm like no, I'm just fucking 8 a.m. I have to put fucking makeup on he comes in there with a tray of pink drinks from Starbucks and knows what each one goes to He goes have you guys heard I? Saw on Celine live Vegas, so he goes in he tells them about his dates Yeah, it talks about his dating life his haircut. He talks about his dating life. He's getting his hair cut. He does, he does. So you're just salon, bro.

That's absolutely correct. He's right about this when it comes to the Tyler Durden thing. I am jealous of...

The freedom.

The complete freedom.

Yeah.

And he seems happy.

Anyway.

He's happy.

Yeah.

He's just saying that he just thinks that your freedom and his freedoms the same You would be different dude. That's actually a very good point. You know, I mean your freedom isn't singing songs with the girls Yeah, but I wish yeah, I guess I don't really like this. You just you just kid it you could just see It's like you know what I thought about it, I'm Tyler Durden and I was was just in there like, I fucked. What was his game? I'll pick an on Gervin for Lent. So did you really? Yeah. My, you know, my nephew gave up doing six, seven for Lent. I'm struggling very hard. I'll be like, is Anthony on? Yeah.

I'll be like, dude, I, we, we were at work today for like six or seven hours

Dude I coach fucking flag and all those kids dude someone doesn't hit that extra points I

Because he's been randomly hit in like six or seven years and shit like that's dude and I'm like I'm up my look seven just seven did you drop it and then side I it's it's so nice to just be like he's Anthony can Anthony hear me right now and I'll be like like dude it was crazy I was a word for like six or seven hours he's just like okay come on man that's like someone not trying to smoke he's going to hell if he doesn't. The power of Catholicism.

He's just dying, dude.

Oh, he gave it up.

He gave it up. He decided. They're like, he knows. He did. He knows. Like, this is his favorite thing. He gave it up.

Does Lent end on Easter or Good Friday? Yeah. Easter? It ends on Easter, yeah. On Easter yeah, so he got away. Tell your eyes. He's gonna be waiting hit the six Easter Monday, I'm gonna go Anthony what times mass is six or seven? My nephew just had basketball the one kid was like fucking crazy 80-day And he would just run up and down the court once he got to the three-point line just slide all the way down this fucking rule

yeah yeah I saw a nice video this kid with Down syndrome is Special Olympics basketball did I send this to you so nice he's he's fast break live this kid's nasty he like literally like finger rolls and a fast break but the kid chasing him on the other team starts fucking hitting hitting him on the And then the game gets heated dude, but this kids like training threes look at the sideline like oh my god Yeah, they got that the WWF fucking taunts down bro. You ever play that game?

Like it was like medieval shit where you like play football I kind of remember that it's very good. I was just watching videos and that the other day It's like violent football. It's like medieval football on second. Yes, this was called like pig skin They did they love that on Sega and that shit ruled. It was very good. I know he's on about golden axe is my favorite So let's fucking rule. I got a little YouTube haul of these. Golden axe in the arcade.

What do you call that?

How do they do that? The all in ones.

Golden axe rule.

He has a real thing, it's called Steam Deck. I got that thing on me. I wish dude.

My emulator fucking crashed though.

That's too much work. boy. It's like a steam decks like a giant Everything switch yeah, it's like a bigger. It's like a switch on steroids spade just got a switch and now he's stuck in the underwriting

It's out. I gave it up real quick I'm not built for open world games. It's possible. I'm a 2d game playing Zelda. I might have got lost I've gone halfway got a little bored stop try to come back and do it I gotta read I gotta read I told I think I have to start the game over. No you don't I was like dude Pretty sure I'm I entered the depths, and I'm not supposed to be here yet. Don't have enough hearts

Yeah, I just been fucking spazzing on Super Mario 3. It's kind of my happy place. What about are you gonna? Give it like a Luigi's Mansion

No, I don't fuck. I like their real ones although. I do like a lot of people hate on Super Mario 2 I do like it. I don't care if Was it AI? I think the kid attacking him,

they probably were like,

let's give it to him.

Give it to him,

and a special Olympics?

Yeah, yeah.

But the kid's fucking,

he's shooting from NBA range.

It's like those videos where they're bouncing the ball off each other's heads. That's how violent they're gonna.

My entire internet is just NBA clips, dude. The Jordan LeBron argument and then now this new Spanish is gonna go to the new The kid that bumped Kobe for the all-time points

Shots. Yes, I am. Oh shit's fucked. I wonder how many Kobe had that night. I was sick 82 No, no, I mean free throws. Oh, yeah. But yeah, this was absurd mama 43 free throws It was it was impressive But it was also felt kind of like it's spamming. Yeah, it's almost like I just fucking Then you go. Don't do that. Yeah, you know really aids are trying to help them get it It's like when I used to play Tony Hawk and I'd turn off the you turn that off just for shits and giggles

Sometimes but people would walk around have a five million. The manual. The manual, I'd have five million going on.

So there's a way, like, where you ...

You have to balance the manual. It got really easy once you got the analog stick. Yeah, it was.

You had to do it with the fucking thing, and then you could turn that on and just get a trillion points, and it would be zero forever. No, I just be chilling in my room, you know in a beanbag playing Tony Hawk, but I'd be like a three million run That's so embarrassing. Yeah, I walked in I think I have I recall you doing something like that What that's like somebody hitting like Madden there up a hundred and forty now I got off I got through that before I was 20

He went and took a piss and I switched mine to rooking, put his on all pro or all mad, and I was fucking him up for a little bit.

That's great.

Then he found out.

Still won. HB slip screen, HB slip screen. That's like Al-Qaeda to take out Russia. Yeah. I wouldn't do that, but I like that you did that. Well, I think ...

When someone goes ... When they're playing a game and they go to piss you go you got a fuck. Yeah. Yeah, everyone knows Dwarves I got my friends. I put a stick of dynamite and I lit it underneath and that blew up everybody It was great. He came out in the fuses ladies. No, no you had the gun Then you toss the dynamite I but I did on him. Oh, really? You had the gun. And then you tossed the dynamite. But I did do that. I beat my friend in NHL 2001, 34 to 2.

Well, that's great. If you're playing against somebody, yeah.

Yeah, but I was like, let me play it through. Because there was a glitch on the glove side.

My buddy... One of my best friends in high school. And he deserved it. In NHL 93 there was a glitch where you could just constantly fucking score, and he never didn't do it. The wrap around?

I would just sit there like, dude.

Is it the wrap around goal?

Yeah, that was good. I'm in his bedroom like, dude, I'm like, are you serious? And it's just like, never stop.

It's like when Rogen plays people this keeps that was the craziest thing. He's ever done That's your video games first time I ever yeah true First time I did first time I did Rogan we got done, and he was like let's play pool. I was like okay I was I never played he's like just play Serve here. I was like so where to which I do a lot of Jews didn't help me

He just destroyed me in pool for like two hours and then left.

Well, all right.

Episode comes out in two days.

I was like, this is uncomfortable.

There's a ton of dudes that can't lay it down and just have fun in the pool. They can't do it.

Do you think there was like a song playing, like when Uncle Phil came back and bailed Will out in Fresh Prince to Soul Man. You think Joe Rogan was like, I'm a soul, but it was like a God smack. Did he, what, my first episode? No, no, no, no. I was like, Phil, Uncle Phil

and whatchamacallit, Fresh Frambrance bailed him out. So fucking good. That might be my favorite episode of Fresh Prince. Yeah, true. Will's hustling people, and then he gets crushed.

They didn't know.

Uncle Phil comes in and just beats the brakes off everybody.

Uncle Phil was the fucking man. He's Phil from down the way. You ever see that thing, Denzel Washington? He starts talking about stealing shit and stuff. He's like, they didn't know actor for 50 years. So Will Smith the Will Smith slap. Would he actually go to like Juilliard. Yes he's an actor. It's like with Lil Wayne.

Remember Lil Wayne. I was like dude he's so fucking badass. And I was dude went to art school. I think he actually is. I think he actually was. He was the real deal. Yeah.

I think they like.

Wheezy seems like the real deal. like 16 when they put him on. Yeah. He handled child fame in the hood.

Do you understand the degree of like ... I don't think he ... I don't know how well he handled it.

I mean the kids ...

I think he's been a dick.

Do you remember that YouTube documentary?

I've been on cough syrup for 20 years.

Those kids couldn't handle that.

Fifth knock.

Spade had a kid in his neighborhood get killed. They made a documentary about these kids. They couldn't even handle like YouTube fame. They started killing each other immediately Yeah, trap Laura Ross. I get on his videos sometimes. I drove home from the What what was that place in Virginia fucking? The place that went for sleeping the last time I left as hard as I did earlier fuck was a Monroe On the way home. I don't know about the Monroe's I drove I think I've showed you the clip. Oh he we talked about it. It's my favorite thing I've ever seen.

I drove home from Virginia and watched a four-hour video

on O-Block, Trackler Rocks.

I just saw a nice ... There's a meme going around of O-Block. What?

Why don't they put up signs?

The squad together, and then it's either got a dove or locked up. Or who's dead? the entire squad. There's like 30 dudes. It's like a football photo. Put a black up. They're all gone. There's one guy that's not in jail or dead. That's like an all-star roster.

It's crazy, but it has all their nicknames on there, too,

which is pretty great. That's great, like, fucking squeaky, like, little Pip, Pip, Pip, and Stop. Like a dove did it. I'm smoking weed we named after him. That's the ramp up where they're like,

oh shit, they're just on Twitter being like.

We're here right now, come get us.

The funniest one though is there was a guy named, I think it's Mr. Disrespectful. That's the one that dialed his neighbor's. That's my neighborhood, yeah. So I watched that documentary, it was hilarious. He was like, they were like, what's your name? He was like, Mr. Disrespectful. Like, why do they call you that? He's like, I just for real be disrespecting people.

He's like.

Well, this is how disrespectful he was. He dug up one of his op's graves.

Yeah, that was wild. He killed a guy and then danced on his grave. Yeah. He's dead now. But now he's dead. Yeah, live by the sword. That's the only ... I mean, that's like a biblical offense.

That's OG stuff.

The best in the Dickinson ... I don't mean ... You'd have to cartman their family. It's the only way to be more disrespectful, is to grind them up in the ...

Maybe Braveheart time they did that?

Yeah. I think that's disrespectful. That move gets him doctor disrespectful. I think you got a PhD in being disrespectful. Digging up a grave?

Digging up a grave.

Dude, the only way you can be more disrespectful

is if I showed up to fight you in your dead grandmother's clothes. Even the devil is like, come on, man. Oh, dude.

I'm just like a man.

Hey, come on, man. Oh, dude. I'm just like a man.

Hey, come on, man.

Hey, you guys see that?

I'm going to be so bummed out if it's not the South Park devil.

Dude, she's there.

If I die, it's not him.

He's like, hi, hey, what's up, guys?

It's my horrible Instagram. Oh, you're fucking crazy.

Oh, you guys are doing it? That was my best joke. That was my favorite joke. You never made it. What? I used to do, uh, I was like, when I was opening for Saturday, I'd be like, yo, this is my impression. This is my impression of Allah calling Osama bin Laden the night before 9-11. And just be like, dude, that must have been nuts for people.

Look at this dude, you guys did it? You guys are fucking crazy.

Oh my God, thank you.

I don't even know that many girls. The best part was watching you get excited to do that joke, doing it on Stairwash. And then when you run out of real estate, and you just be like, you guys did it? Anyways.

Yeah, it's South Park. Anyway. South Park, anyway. South Park's it. But it is so funny, oh you guys actually did it?

Yeah, I wish I still had that. I tried my best to hit the fucking thigh slap for you.

It was so, it made me laugh. I did my best. It made me laugh really hard. You hit a thigh slap? No, not the mic. He did the ... I tried. Fake hump? Yeah, I like that. He did fake hump.

Did like two, looked over at Dan, just going,

oh shit.

It was great. Hey, what's up everybody?

Yeah, the Chicago stuff, they thought they were like for real getting away with it. The cops are like, they're fucking killing each other, dude.

That's like not our problem.

We don't have to say this, but Ziggs things easier. They're actually pretty bad. Normally we'd kill them.

Listen, I've been a Chicago police officer for 15 years. This is the least I've ever worked. I'll tell you what, I love that King Von. This guy does my job for me. We used to have him go down and put a gun in the guy's hand,

but this fella down in O'Block.

There's a guy.

King Von. I got a gun in the guy's hand, but this fella down in O'Black. There's a guy. Hey, Vaughn. That fucking Farley thing, he's killing me.

Which one?

He's like, let me tell you about this guy. This guy says this. Let me tell you about this guy.

I was like talking to a painter on Lunsbury who just never gets to it.

Yeah, I know, I wait for this. This is amazing. when Sandler's the waiter and he's doing the pepper. So funny. At the Italian restaurant? It's Farley breaking Sandler. Is it Christy Alley?

I'm not sure who the lady is, but it's Farley, or Sandler's like,

would you like some cracked peppers?

And Farley's at the table, he's like,

I would, thank you!

You just see Sandler like,

why yes!

Just being the dick Man share rocks. You know what else rules you know another good Farley Saying anything you want you ask me in dirty work. Oh, he's like anything you need Can I say your place you see the thing is this

It's dirty where he's hitting the jukebox he's like, can I stay at your place? You see, the thing is this. Is there anywhere where he's hitting the jukebox and he's like 57.

G7.

Rolling Stones, Street Fight, G7. You hit G8. Oh, right now your nephew's.

He's so excited. He's just sleeping.

It's like a shiny.

He's going. Yeah.

No, Anthony. Just sleep. Yeah, it's like a shiny he's going

Yeah, what else is going on fellas there's a good pot oh dude anything I was Vince McMahon being in Is he on trial like fucking evil ass hair I saw him going like a hundred fifty miles an hour. Yeah, I saw that video I don't know. I don't know if he's in trouble I don't know that guy straight-up looks evil now with his eyes all over. I think he's also boys with Trump I think he's fine. He's like I can do whatever I want

He's definitely gonna be new face poles are freaking me the fuck out

Yeah

Was that fake or what was the verdict on that?

I don't know.

It's our new Will Smith slap.

This is the new slap.

Was that really fake? You see Jim Carrey's face and I don't believe it.

What's your guess? Did Jim Carrey, do you guys thought the Will Smith, Chris Rock slap was a work?

No, I thought it was just a funny slap. Dude, do you remember that? If you get anyone to talk about it. You make someone talk about it. And they get very interested in it. They do. Life suits are great. The eye color is great.

It was nuts. Yeah. The slap? Dude, it's crazy. I think enough time has passed. We can start talking about it again. Resurrected. That was fucking crazy.

I agree with that a lot.

I love it. Do they sat back down and then won best actor? Best actor. He won the best award. Awesome.

Keep my wife's name out of your mouth.

Could you imagine blowing your nose in Roger Goodell's tie and then winning the Super Bowl?

Serena Williams thing.

Oh, okay. That was good, though.

It was good.

Best actor.

Fuck it. He's back, though, right?

He's like King Richard. No, he tried rapping and it got weird oh no that one I like girls girls like all right the concert in London what are you saying I'm not gay yeah I'm not gay and I'm not wearing a wire really as like a really extended theory probably not for here but about that yeah just like once you get into like a rap shoot where you're like I need 15 girls naked dancing around me I'm not gay.

I'm straight and I'm a fucking murderer.

And we're gonna cut it at that and that's that.

The O-block was like, you got a phone? Follow me.

Follow me. Through the screens of videos, no bitches. None. Fifty shirtless black teenagers in an apartment

jumping up and down, pouring guns at the camera.

Being a neighbor.

Literally the scariest videos I've ever seen in my life. I haven't been that scared since Rough Riders and DMX.

With the 4x4s?

DMX was putting out scary videos on O-block. The only other guys that hold it down like that are ISIS. There's never checks in their videos and they're killing people, so they might have to crown them. ISIS has done, yeah, all right, fair. They don't rap though. They could.

I'll say that about US propaganda. They're making it too gay. Oh yeah. Let other people make the

clips. What's up with the White House, the pump me up intro, whatever. The 23 year old is running through Twitter. The White House Corps, whatever that is. is yeah that needs to stop that's fucking not that sucks ass they did like a bowling one yes yeah I think there might be a 23 year old at the helm oh that's absolutely what they did I gotta be honest it reads yeah but they were just probably like hey Rubio does your nephew you want to run White House Twitter? And he was like, oh, that'd be hilarious.

It'd be hilarious to own these. We're owning the libs. It doesn't matter, dude. I'm going to open the straight. You're by yourself?

Yeah. You should start another A-Store theme park. I'm opening the straight of Hormuz.

Off the shores of Iran, comedian Shane Gillis.

We have to know someone on the Nittan.

Open up or you're dead.

You guys ever jack off? Look at this, the ships.

This is you standing on a... I could speak to ISIS, they would be like...

You should have went to that Saudi thing.

Oh yeah.

True, fuck.

That was where your connects would have been.

I could have opened the straight your pole do it now Yeah, you think I should go to Riyadh now? Yeah, just to open now show in the round stage on a Chinese barge Dude, we'll get the Chinese involved Smiley. The Pirates are gonna show up and go actually this guy's pretty funny. I

Saw him I saw him in the straight up Hormuz. He's one of the greatest. Cliff story?

Unbelievable. Cliff live in the straight up Hormuz.

Asakhala! He's going cliff! Asakhala!

Cliff story live in the straight up Hormuz.

It opened up, oil went down to $50 a barrel. Half the price.

Nah, I'm gonna open the Strait of Hormuz. Dude, do you know about Diego Garcia? There's this fucking island that's like, if you like go down into like the Indian Ocean, the British found this fucking island, dude. And they can hit Asia, they can hit everywhere

if they just take this over. So they took it over, this is like 50 fucking years ago or whatever, and they can do whatever the fuck they want.

Who, the British?

The British.

They'll do nothing.

And Trump got busted, he was like, dude.

England's a state.

I'll show it to you, it's fucking nice.

England is nothing. They sent one boat.

And we're there.

Bombs the fools, yeah. Don't order, we help you. England are bums these days. Yeah, but you don't want to get warmed up. They're like, they could be like Jankos. They could come back.

True. For sure.

I mean, they're capable of pure evil.

And they're back going,

Is that, are we back to colonizing?

They're the only one who had the real white slaves. Yeah. They had to hog down, bro. Yeah. Dude, you really think about that? They come back like John Wick.

They're like, oh, you...

We're gonna make him slaves, the white ones.

Oh, I see.

Dude.

And like, Trump said some shit. I can't... I don't know. It's some shit.

Yeah, Trump will let classified... Trump said some stuff.

He'll let classified shit slip in every meeting. You're lucky he's married, because if he was trying to get pussy still... Pull him out, dude. It takes one spark. The thing snapped on his finger and he's like, I would have hid the pain.

He's definitely still trying to get pussy.

Oh no, I know, but I'm saying if it was out in the open... I don't think marriage has ever held that boy back. I don't think Melania was... he's like, I can't. I love Melania. It's the Milani movie. I cannot wait You got to make it La Mer and Nate watch it with you. Oh, yeah, it's really well I kind of just want to watch I just want to watch it all wants to be hilarious, dude

You know what nuts it's like the soundtrack must have cost a fortune. Well, they got no no, they got

No, no all like all the bands that are in it. They just took all the music they wanted

It's like a pump me up bid with drone footage you shit with hot Melania walk around yeah, all right I will have to I will have to sit them, but it gets beat They she goes in like fashion shit, and there's a bunch of dudes like measuring her for dresses. I'm shutting this off not for you

Yeah, I wouldn't mind watching the measurements. What's going on there? Nah, it's- It's- It's- It's-

It's-

It's- I think was Marania so wait does your boy you guys boy Trump that you guys voted for does he? This right now. We're on rock that you guys voted for It's you actually got a sign on how awesome you are. There's literally five minutes ago when you're like dude He's a man you got him in it when last week last week. Yeah. Oh, no that was uh you said he didn't have the juice I said he still definitely has the juice. He doesn't need juice. No, no, no, no. When it comes to shit talking,

the boy's still got it. You were trying to say he lost a step. He's losing a little bit.

Oh, yeah. His fastball is not ... No, no. ... ... visitable now. As soon as he said it, I watched him throw about 106. It's like Nolan Ryan at the end. Remember Nolan Ryan was like, that was a great documentary. I just listened to Bill say he lost his fastball. Then I watched a clip of him going, I just passed a fucking test.

That would be impossible for you. You too. Then I said, this guy's still got it. Where are we talking? Now the juice is different than decision making. When he got hit with Epstein and he let her pretty much hit, like, why are we fighting? He's like, what are we fighting? That was a low

point. That was bad. That was a low point. As far as juice goes, low point. Oh, what

about a retarded theory? I have a retarded theory that Obama and Trump are actually friends and this has all been a side out to wrap up the Middle East. we're just gonna wrap it up, we're gonna put in a little bow, it's gonna be ours. And they pretended that they were him. They were pretending that they were enemies.

Now this could be the end of us.

And Obama was actually like, you know what, you'll never be as President of the United States. And that was actually like a little like dubbing,

like dude, you will be the President of the United States. You play this, right? 5-D chess. You play this. Trump plays it with five at a time. It's Obama.

That's true.

Yeah, there's a lot of dudes on the internet right now like going with some crazy theories and they're like, it's chess and it's 5-D. Trump's in control. I did see that.

Guys?

Oh, yeah.

Guys?

It was the dumbest, if you can tweet out so it was 5d. He was like it's chess It's 5d and he goes the reason we took Venezuela so we could take Iran. It's like I Could have come up with that exactly do it It's your friend who dates a stripper who swear she's not a slut She's not a slut. That's what I was talking. She likes to She likes to dance. Last week, the dudes posted videos of the war.

She's artistic especially.

She's dancing.

She's dancing.

How much money do you make?

You're a hooker.

How much money do you make in a night?

You're a hooker.

Possibly.

Yeah, that's the greatest. You're a hooker. Netch Tel Aviv getting bombed to hell and someone's like that's not Tel Aviv. That's actually 2016. They just said I mean dude it's a fog of war. It's like you're literally

on Twitter. I don't even know. I don't know where to find a single piece of information. It's done. Oh don't. That's honestly the group. The greatest win in Russia's history was just destroying us having validated you'd be tricked into thinking Russia gives up, but there Russia's doing nothing You know what it is probably when you crane We're doing your day know what you uh would you just have a headache, and you just always attributed to hug over you Fuckin Russia hug over your Russia Russia's like I don't even know you're getting close to one more So out of the Cold War kids, it's not Russia. Yeah, I get the real head

Yep, you'll get there then you're gonna go none of my problems real it is real why do they make all our decisions it's like that thing with the IQ charts like Belka Rod Rogers low IQ, no offense. I love that Jews label Russia as the equivalent of my dad being like, I raised you in the

nukes.

Trump's a Russian spy. You go Russia, and then you go, it's not.

It's not Russia.

But it's somebody. And I'll give you a hint. Canada the whole time.

I'll give you a hint. Can't have done the whole time.

I'll give you a hint who it is. I'm not allowed to say who it is. Is he actually going to do a concert there? No, that's AI. If he did a concert in Tel Aviv, either they would kill him,

somebody would kill him.

You ever watch a video like it was like ... Or that ...

I thought Barenthal doing Dog Day was AI.

So did I. That's fucking crazy. But you ever watch a documentary about the Monster Next Door, you ever see it?

About the guy who worked at a factory? We've talked about this. It's the guy who worked at a Ford factory. And they were like, aren't you the butcher of Treblinka? And he was like, what?

They're like, how did you get here?

He got sent to Israel for trial.

Yeah.

It was just a job?

He was just like a random dude.

The best part of the whole fucking thing.

Maybe.

He might have been the butcher. The best part of the entire thing is you're the guy who worked at the concentration camp, right? No, they have a bit and then Louie never mind, but just the idea of a guy like a factory just like pushing fucking buttons and then somebody being like

What's he the fucking butcher of Dak? I was just showing Billy Stop. Oh, just don't say that. Why? Fuck, dude. Shame. Yo, I swear to God, you were an SS officer. Shut the fuck up, dude. Stop joking around about that. You remember the old...

You're on a flight, you're, like, looking down at Jerusalem, like, oh, shit.

Do you remember the old Lucky Louie... I'm going to Israel.

Remember the old Lucky Louie clip clip when he's in an AA meeting and he's like, you guys are just all assholes. No. Do you remember this? I just shared it to Bill.

Very good. It's a good ass fucking show. And that documentary, he goes to Jerusalem and he has to get a lawyer and everyone's like, no one's picking on him. The lawyer rolls up in a Porsche like, I'll do it.

That's crazy. How many people did you kill?

Yeesh.

We can get him out.

What's your 401K? That guy's name is fucking classic. What is that called? Monster Next Door? Yes. Monster Next Door. Devil Next Door. What was his ethnicity? Was he Ukrainian?

Polish.

Polish. It was hilarious. He's from Cleveland.

In a Polish neighborhood.

The Polish people in Cleveland are like's like in a Polish neighborhood. It's the people, the Polish people in Cleveland are like, he wouldn't do that.

That's Huey, he's the head of our sauerkraut club.

Yoram Scheftel.

It's Yoram Scheftel. I'll take a fucking case. Rolls off the documentary.

I'm gonna watch this. I'm excited to watch this documentary. It's great. It's great. Also, you really, yeah, you'll see. You'll see.

You're not going to know.

I'm going to watch it. Is real.

Because who's done?

Evil S. Officer? I got WBC and I got fucking this documentary.

WBC.

World Baseball Clash.

World Baseball.

Dude, we lost to the Waps.

Did we? Fun team separate air Nola was dealing tonight. Yeah, all the countries play each other. I mean, yeah They are Italy rules Italy. Well, it's something they're not actually Italian. They're all just American. Yeah. Yeah, it's 90% American guys what's up with the if you're in the Olympics, right and you are American and you have like another heritage

Like what is with that? You talking about that lady skiing for China? I'm confused about that. Because I'll tell you what, I'm confused too,

and I was a confused person getting resolution.

I don't understand.

Because I don't like the support for this lady.

I don't understand this.

I didn't even do enough fact finding to find out. If she got paid to do it, fuck that noise. I don't even like it though. I don't like it at all. China over America? No. Come on, Matt. The only one I understand- She's a bacon. She's incredible at what she does. WBC I understand because USA- Nothing but respect. Oh, she rips. She rips. Isn't she a skier?

Nothing but respect. WBC I'm cool with it because USA doesn't take a lot of guys and then guys go, I want to play. Yeah WBC is there's no rules. You can be your grandma can be from she can be half a day. There's a white catcher on the Dominican Republic Italy. Dude look up the white catcher on the they don't give a.

It's so funny. He looks like the one white kid in the hood. Yeah and they're all like and they watch him dance and they're like every time they score then he's like. Dominican Republic's playing Japan. Yeah, no, they're playing Korea. Venezuela's playing Japan. Oh, it's Venezuela.

Venezuela's fucking got a squad, though. That was a great game last night. It sucks Israel got drafted.

It would have been nice if Venezuela, Israel.

Venezuela, Israel would have been great. That would have been the ideal matchup. Venezuela, it's crazy to watch them and you go, you guys don't even have a leader right now. They're just like, ah, fucking bitch. Wasn't one kid like an electrician who just better shut up? We can stay up as late as we want. I don't even have to sleep.

We ate ice cream for breakfast. We're Venezuela. No, Ross. But Italy's fun. Vinnie Pasquantino, the Passquatch. My dog, bro. He's the man. Came to your show. Little story about the Passquatch. Passquatch is the fucking man.

He's the bro. That's just Italian.

He's like, I can play for Italy?

Dude, he-

Hold on, did I tell you?

You know the Passquatch story.

No. Sky rules. Sky's the first baseman for the Kansas City Royals.

Yeah. Cool as hell. It was great. It was. Yeah. So he we did a show in Cleveland. The Royals were playing the Cleveland Indians or the Guardians. They excuse me, excuse me. She looks good. Now. Thank you for getting her correct. They look good. That's crazy that they got to but it must have been the vaccine but

he took the vaccine I was using proper pronouns. Me. Yeah, you did earlier. But we do a show at, no, dude, COVID-19, A4.

Busted out, waited to bust out the show until now.

Me?

It was fantastic.

But no, a couple of the guys from the Royals came to the show, and then most of the guys were like, yeah, we gotta dip out, we got a game tomorrow.

Not the Pasquatch. Do you pass for a tagger? Coldest line I've ever heard.

I'm B-H-ing tomorrow.

I don't give a fuck.

Let's have a little fun.

He goes, you guys going out? He goes, you guys going out after the show? We go, yeah. And like Bobby Wood Jr. and like all the Royals were like, all right, we're going back, we gotta play tomorrow during the day. And then Pasquatch just looks down and he goes, you guys going out?

Yeah, he goes, fuck it, I'm DH and I'll go out with you guys. And then right as he said that, Shane goes, $100, you're gonna hit a home run. And Vinny was like, book it. And then we went out I drank do we land in we land in now where's the

next no we were we were going to a casino and we get to a red light yeah and you can see the passwatch was thinking to himself should probably get to bed I gotta play the Cleveland Indians tomorrow he just gets out of the fucking uber and goes to a red light he was like he's been silent for like 15 minutes and before that he was chatting a little and going to the store. Out of red light, he was like... He'd been silent for like 15 minutes, and before that, he was chatting a little, and then all of a sudden, you can see

the wheels were turning for a while, and he goes, you know what, guys, I gotta go in. He got out of the red light. I respected it, because it was the best duck and roll I've seen out of a car in a while. We just appeared in the night, and then we went. Next day, goes yard.

Damn. Hit the home run.

Really? Yeah.

Dude, bottom of the fourth. He's the man. Katie was going nuts. I told her about it, and we landed in fucking DC. She's like, Vinny went yard! Vinny went yard! And I was like, dude, Vinny went yard! He's like, no, he fucking ...

We looked her up. It was great. Then Bobby sent me a picture of him in his fucking, in the ice bath, just like. Got the glitch, dude. So he's on Team Italy, right? But he's like their leader. He's like their glue guy.

He's also the captain.

Yeah. He's like locker room.

Locker room guy. Not just locker, dude. He had three home runs in that last one. Well, he was 0 for 12 before that. I know, zero but he does they have an espresso machine in the dugouts when you hit a home run you drink an espresso they're up eight nothing on the United States place Houston and Miami and San Juan Puerto Rico and Tokyo now it's down to Houston yeah it'll be in Miami and

Houston like we're just use our Is America still in it? Yeah.

Yeah, thank God. We needed Italy to beat Mexico, and we did it.

Yeah, dude. Our ...

Who do we have? Like, who do we have?

Oh, dude, our team is ... Bryce Harper, Aaron Judge.

All right, we got everybody. Everybody.

Yeah, but we tried to arrest some boys against the Wops. Oh yeah.

And the Wops went nuts.

It was eight nothing.

They put a pleading on them.

The Wops fucking killed us.

Those Italians are good with bats.

Which was funny because the first home run and they're all doing the espresso shit. Yeah, that's fun. They're having a good time.

That's cute.

Eight nothing, you're going, these motherfuckers do that when they turn on their country. He's fucking checking the- He's the size in war. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, who would have thought the Waps weren't going to be loyal? First inning, you're like, this is a lot of fun culture. Yo, this is hilarious. Sixth inning, you go, Glucosinostrium.

You said, fuck, that piece of shit.

Yeah, I became Elliot Ness real quick. I'm putting into this shit follow the money follow the money But Aaron judge fucking had a chance to win it We had two runners on bottom of the ninth two outs and he fucking struck out Italy got us. He's a physical freak

Yeah, crazy. Were you there at the garden when he was there? No. Oh, no, was it? It was it would have been nice for you to be he was at your show. Yeah, holy shit. He is a horse. Yeah, he looks like a horse. It's hilarious a horse, man He looks like a walk to a room you go. What the oh my god, but also it's because he's proportionally correct Yeah, that's what I mean. We should all I got a little bit for dude. It's terrifying. We were in Arizona We saw this dude, you remember that crazy dude. We were in Arizona

We saw this cowboy walking to a coffee shop, and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. And Billy was like, yo, Spade, walk up to that dude. And it was like...

It was huge.

But he was proportional with a cowboy hat,

jeans like normal height and everything.

It was like an NBA player you can watch walk by, and it's all bones.

Yeah, free, like long arms.

It was huge. A proportionally correct dude that's 6'8". It's crazy. He's fucking hilarious. Well, like LeBron's 6'9", and he's pretty-

He's pretty proportional.

He's pretty proportional.

I can't watch him with his I see something. I like Steve.

You're a team Jordan.

No, they just send me all this LeBron flops.

LeBron.

Do you know what's funny? My algorithm is all Larry Bird shit talk video. You see the Dr. J, Gilly. Oh, I just love all those brewskis, would you?

We had a bird?

Dr. J Gilly one was great.

I'm gonna need a beer, dude.

I love Larry Legend, dude.

Fucking rules.

The heck from Dr. J was making, Gilly and Dr. J were making fun of Bird's neck.

It was wild.

Did you see, I'm gonna hit this three in this corner. And then he did, and you see the entire Hawks bench,

because it was right in front of their bench, like.

That's great.

There's a story that- Coach came in the next day and put on film and was like-

Did you watch the ABA thing?

Fuck.

Stop him. The what?

Danny, did you guys watch the ABA thing?

I think she was slick. He made a whole documentary on the ABA. Oh

Five and everybody pretty now. Yeah, Oh absolutely watch that Scored a hundred though. Well it is the goat. Well. There's retarded well 100 points, and then just fucking everybody by the way Illegally probably at the time he's taking down white ladies 100 what are you gonna do about it yeah you ever see I'm up here he just holds white women up here like cookies on top of the refrigerator that's it give me back my life god damn it will John you ever see him I doing track he's somewhat

proportional yeah he's slightly proportional yeah there's that clip of him being like him and Michael Jordan or Bill Walton's telling the story. Is it the elevator? No about there at 90s all all century team or whatever and Wilton Michael Jordan arguing about who's the best of all time and someone's like Well Championships or whatever and then well, it's like, you know

My friend was telling me that the other day, and he's got 11 of them, and he was talking about Bill Russell, and you're like, oh shit. But he got him at the end, you're like, oh!

Yeah.

Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points. With no three pointer. Also, it's, when you watch Wilt highlights, it is funny, because he is good.

Yeah. He looks almost modern. Yeah. When you watch the Soul Power thing, they show in the Soul Power thing, they show the old, before the ABA, they show the old NBA, and it's so beat. And then they're like, dude, they brought in a 3-pointer.

Yeah.

It was nuts.

They had like laces on the ball.

Yeah, but they could tackle each other. That's what it's great. That's where Bill and beer came in. You know the Bill and beer was a problem. He was pissing everyone off. He's the original rage, baby Don't you might average fucking five and he just fucking people's arms The Montana documentary was that he played basketball

Oh, you'll like him Joe Montana was like as good at basketball as he was at football.

No shit. He was a running quarterback. In the documentary, they're like, he was good. That's wild. I used to be obsessed with Jim Flannery. Lambir averaged nine and five. I was close. Nine and five? That's my stats.

And he's a legend just because he was a honky on to droid. He was a hog on Detroit that would cause problems for people People hated Billy no, I'm beer. No watch anything you're fine Watch anything you just go on fight all the best blood dude hard fouls. He'd be like yeah, he was a goon Straight up a goon and he was a six foot ten goon. He's like I'll slap that guy That's like hack a shack with like for like Frodo baby, like, yeah, I'm going to punch Michael Jordan in the mouth.