Erika Kirk reveals how she found out Charlie had been shot

Look at that.

He lived for those moments when he just walked down and was throwing the hats and students. He loved Gen Z and young people. There's just this sea of endless crowds of people. You couldn't even see the end. He was throwing out hats, and then it's just, yeah, yeah, still processing it.

Sadly, we just started getting word just a couple of moments ago that Charlie Kirk has been shot.

How did you find out Charlie had been shot?

Was at my mom's doctor's appointment. I had my phone and I see the video coming with him flinging out the hats. And I said, Mom, look, it started. So we saw the hats being flung. I put my phone down and it was on silent. So I had no reason to look back at it.

And I moved my mom. I went back to grab my phone. And that's when Mikey started calling me, called me within seconds.

I called Erica. I just remember it rang like three or four times. I didn't know what to say. Those are the words that will change someone's life forever and you have to be the one to say it. That was the first time I've ever called her during a campus tour stop.

And so Mikey called me and I'll never forget him just being like, Charlie's been shot. He's been shot. Get the kids. Get security. Get the kids.

Get the kids. He's been shot. Get the kids. Get security. Get the kids. Get the kids. He's been shot.

I sprinted out of her treatment center. Just collapsed in the middle of the parking lot. Called our security.

Yeah.

Unbelievable nightmare.

The communications director of Turning Point USA has asked our team to give a moment of silence and prayer. And so we are going to do that right now. We're going to pause and offer our prayer.

We hope you join along.

However and to whomever you pray, I hope in this moment that you can pray for Charlie

Kirk. There was a moment there where people thought Charlie would survive.

There were so many things going on at that one moment. It was so hard to actually know and hear what was going on because you're getting phone calls in and out and hindsight, the way the bullet hit him, he died instantaneously.

He was pronounced dead.

He died on the scene. But, but I'm so glad he didn't suffer.

Excuse me. I'm so glad he didn't suffer.

No one deserves to suffer but Him of all people.

So he, you know, he literally blinked and probably thought he was raptured and looked around and was like, where's everybody else? He blinked and he was with the Lord.

And you wanted to see Charlie immediately and came up.

Take us through that.

We landed in Utah, went straight to the hospital. When you walked in, everyone was just... It was a scene from just a horror movie. Everyone is so rattled to the court. Officers, law enforcement, hospital workers, our team, everyone is just shaken.

And we get into the room. One of the law enforcement guys comes in. He's very sweet, but what do you say to someone whose husband was just assassinated so publicly? He said, you know, I've been doing this for 30 some years. He said, I will never tell you that you cannot see your husband. He said, but I, in my professional opinion, think that you should wait to see him once

he's at the mortuary, because I don't think you want to see him like this. The room got quiet, because half the room knew it was probably a good idea, and the other half of the room was like, there is no way she's listening to you right now. And I responded back to him and I said, with all due respect, sir, I said, I wanna see what they did to my husband. And I wanna give him a kiss,

because I didn't get to give him a kiss this morning. And I said the same thing to the doctor. When the doctor came in, I said, I wanna see my husband. He said, I'll make sure that happens. And I did, and I got to see him.

And...

When we walked into that room. He still looks so alive, I mean, because he just, and I'm just so glad I saw him, because you know this, when you see someone pass at the mortuary, they never look the same when they're at the mortuary.

They have this awful makeup, and they're cold, and he was still warm, and his eyes were slightly open. It was so powerful, Jesse. He had this smirk on his face.

It was so sweet.

He had this smirk on his face where it meant three things to me. The first that he died doing what he loved. Second was that he was at peace. And I gave him a kiss. Gave him a kiss.

And then before I left the room, which was one of the hardest moments of my life, was leaving him in that room.

Excuse me.

I looked at him, and I thought to myself, that smirk, that smirk to me is that look of, you thought you could stop what I've built. You thought that you could end this vision, this movement, this revival. You thought you could do that by murdering me.

You got my body, you didn't get my soul. You could do that by murdering me.

You got my body. You didn't get my soul.

Do you know how many transgender Americans have been mass shooters over the last 10 years?

Too many.

By that time, the video was everywhere.

How do you process that?

I never saw the video. I never will see it. I never want to see it. There's certain things you see in your life that you can never unsee. There's certain things you see in your life that mark your soul forever. I don't want my husband's public assassination to be something I ever see. I don't want my kids to ever see that.

And for people who actually enjoy watching that, which is quite literally sick. What if that was your father? Or your brother, your sister? There's a perspective shift there. We're human.

Life is fragile. And there is so much beauty in this world. Why would you waste any portion of your life looking at something so evil?

Charlie was answering a question about trans violence when he was murdered.

Do you think that was a coincidence?

I don't believe in coincidences. Do you think they've caught your husband's killer? So something I'm so grateful for is that we have one of the most incredible teams for this case. I would never wish it upon anybody to have to go through what we are going through. To have seen the autopsy report, to have seen the different evidence portions

that have been collected, I trust our team.

There's other theories swirling around

about Charlie's assassination.

Right.

How does that make you feel?

When everything happened, my phone died and became a black hole. I just didn't turn it on for weeks on end. I've intentionally insulated myself because I need to guard my heart and I need to be there for my kids

and I need to be there for Turning Point. And what I've realized through all of this is that everyone grieves differently. Everyone is trying to figure out, and I don't blame them. How does this happen?

How does somebody become so radicalized figure out, and I don't blame them, how does this happen?

How does somebody become so radicalized where they can justify this in their own head? We just lost one of the greatest voices of our generation.

Why?

How? What's behind it? Like, everyone's trying to process this. And I respect that. But where my heart is just asking for some grace is for the ones who were there that day. They have to relive that every single day.

He didn't die in a car accident. He didn't die from cancer. He was assassinated. And the difference between this and previous assassinations in this country is there was no social media. There was no AI. I can't tell you how many fake images are out there of all of this. And again my my only request is that just please pray and consider and think about whatever

you put online, because it's going to impact his kids in the future. I don't want my kids to go on the Internet one day when they're older and see things that it's just we're all trying to process this in their own way and I appreciate that but just some grace would be nice. Do you feel safe? I do. What are they going to threaten me with? Going to heaven sooner to be with my husband? And I don't say that to be reckless. I do not. I do not say that because I'm out

in the streets like, here I am, come find me. And it's not at all. It's a fearlessness that's rooted in the understanding that I will have my day and my time whenever that is. When the Lord knows that I've completed my mission. And I'm not afraid. Charlie wasn't afraid either. We never lived in fear.

If we did, we wouldn't get anything done. And I can't help run alongside this mission of Turning Point USA and raise my babies with fear. I can't, that's not a life to live for anybody.

What's the hardest part of your day?

The night.

Nighttime, always. I'll tell them about my day. I talk to them all the time. But the nights are the hardest. Being in a bed by yourself. Rolling over, trying to...

Goodnight kiss that's not there.

You know, it's and anyone who's a widow knows what that means. How painful that is.

Excuse me.

So easy to take the little things for granted, but you know what's so interesting? I was thinking about this the other day. It's so easy to be in a position of feeling regret when you lose someone you love. And I tried to read a book by C.S. Lewis

because he lost the love of his life. He was only married to her for four years. It's called A Grief Observed. It was a very hard book to read. Not because it was about grief, but because in the opening pages, he talked about how angry he was with God.

And I've never felt that.

I'm not was with God. And I've never felt that. I'm not angry with God. Never have been.

Never have I questioned, why Lord, are you putting me through this? Why are you testing me? Why are you? Because God is so good and he's so sovereign. And I know he uses everything, everything, even what the enemy meant for evil. And I have no regrets.

And I think that that's why processing this, for me, is probably different than most, because people say, how can you do all of the other you do? And it's because I loved and still love Charlie.

Did you watch the news after the assassination? Because there were some people saying that Charlie deserved to die. Charlie had it coming.

There's so much beauty in life. I don't know why you would waste your time saying somebody deserves to be publicly executed in front of everyone. That's just... Why would you say that? Again, that could have been your parent,

your spouse, your loved one. You think it's funny until it's someone you love? I would just ask them to really reassess their priorities in life if they get a high off of watching someone be murdered.

Jimmy Kimmel lied about your husband's murder and didn't really apologize. What would you say to Jimmy Kimmel?

Same thing I told Sinclair. They asked, I hadn't really told anybody this, so. They asked, do you want Jimmy to give you an apology? Do you want to be on his show? How can we make it right? Through our team, I responded, I said,

told them thank you, we received their note. This is not our issue, not our mess. We are grieving and we have an organization to run. My husband never told people what to say. You do what you think is best and right and I prayerfully wish you the best, but I will never ask someone to give me an apology that they don't genuinely mean. That's

between you and the Lord. If you want to say I'm sorry to someone who's grieving, go right ahead. But if that's not in your heart, don't do it. I don't want it. I don't want it. I don't need it.