Everything I Haven’t Been Talking About

Hey, I'm in bed with a thousand cats.Join me.That's really nice.I wanted to make this video because there have been a lot of changes in my life.Some on screen, some behind the screen, and people have had some questions, some scrutiny.We are gonna talk about my upcoming wedding, why I don't vlog anymore, things that have changed since living with Justin, some mood board pictures for my wedding, internet hate, the inevitable downfall of being on the internet, and so many cute things.

Subscribers submitted their questions and I picked out the ones that were either the most common or the most salacious or the most nosy or the biggest.I'm answering all your questions.

And Whitley's here.Here's the video.

Ooh, the spice is coming.Someone said, does Justin tell his co -workers what you do for work, or does he try to be vague to protect his privacy?I don't think he hides what I do for work.It doesn't have to be a secret, but I don't know.They already know, because they have the internet.I don't think he went around saying that I was a YouTuber.

He's just kind of private generally anyway.But then when we got engaged, I think like the next week he announced it to his co -workers and was like, oh, like over the weekend, my girlfriend and I got engaged.And some of his co -workers were like, yeah, we already know, like we have YouTube.Yeah, I don't think he was going to broadcast it, but he doesn't mind at all.Then mostly I just like don't really share anything about Justin on the internet.We go like a centimeter deep with Justin because he didn't sign up for this.

Somebody else wrote, how is Justin adapting slash embracing his increasing cameos in your videos?He's great with it.I have never pressured him toit.When we started dating, and I first told him I was a YouTuber, I said, I'm a YouTuber, and the second sentence was, and you would never be expected to be in anything ever.Yeah, that's not the career he signed up for.

And so I was kind of surprised and delighted that he did it.enjoyed being in videos like he wanted to be sometimes.Yeah, that's great.I definitely didn't expect that though because he's so kind of quiet and private, but it's just like we just don't reveal much about him.

And I think that's the ideal situation.

It's not like he's not opposed to being in videos like he enjoys it sometimes, but also he's not obsessed with it.I dated a guy or two who was like really over eager to be in videos and I kind of feel like that was like a red flag.It's like, why are you here?Get out.Okay, Whitley's down here in the corner.Boots has left us.

There's rats among us, but...Can you share mood board pictures for your wedding?Okay, I will share mood board pictures that I pinned, but I'm not going to share the final one I landed on.You'll be able to see it eventually, I think.But I don't think I'm going to share things before.What I will share are like the other wedding design visions, vibes that I considered very, very seriously.

So one thing I found when trying to like design the wedding with I just felt so overwhelmed and I felt so much like probably what like every subscriber feels like when they're trying to design the room and they're just like but I like so many things but it could be anything but it's this blank canvas and like how do I narrow it down and that's how I felt with a wedding it's like I definitely don't have one vision of how a wedding should be or even one vision of a wedding I could enjoy like I could like so many different things what and then this pressure of likeand it needs to be a party decor vibe that represents you as a person now perfectly and forever perfectly.Like what the is that?It was very overwhelming and paralyzing and I felt zero inspiration at all.Zero inspiration until I just told myself this actually doesn't have to be the one and only style.that I ever like or that will perfectly represent me.

It just has, I'm just gonna make it something that I like.Just something that I like.And that could be a million things.And that is very clearly illustrated by the wide variety of wedding decor we had.So at first, even before Justin and I got engaged, we really both wanted this really deep, dark, moody, we called it Hogwarts wedding vibe.Like, Get me in a castle.

Dim the lights.Candles.No florals at all.No florals.Only greenery.Dark.

A little spooky.Like, we were both so into this.We were like, we're gonna have, not Hogwarts themed, like there wasn't gonna be Dumbledore there, but like, we kind of wanted to feel like you're walking through Hogwarts or like walking through the Great Hall at night near Christmas.And obviously that was like a pretty, pretty like wintry -themed vibe like I wanted to have a winter wedding and then we ended up getting engaged in February which meant we would have to like plan it within eight months and just get our sheesh together like pretty quickly and we didn't want to.So that was like the only thing I knew I wanted that was like the only design style I was excited about for a wedding and then when we decided okay I don't think we're gonna get it together to have a winter wedding I was like kind of devastated I didn't know what to do.Step two then I was like okay I think we're gonna do summer so like what are things I love about summer and for me I was really into pursuing like a just

totally nostalgic summer like Americana classic like we're serving watermelon on silver platters like watermelon slices and just like Soft yellow like a pale yellow blue pop of red just like tent stripes and we're gonna be out in the grass and twinkle lights and maybe lanterns and just like I want it to feel like I took you back into a memory in childhood summer.And then we landed on a venue where the whole thing was going to take place in like a tent.The venue like included a tent and that was important to me because I didn't want to like plan for an outdoor wedding and then have the whole thing have to be moved indoors if the weather was bad.I didn't want to be stressed about weather.Like again, I just want to minimize stress.So to me it's like, this is the ideals, like we are outside, but even if it like pours rain, it'll, will be protected by the tent.

Even pouring rain in a tent could be kind of chill.Like I'm down with that.So I just feel no stress about weather.I guess someone could get like struck by lightning bolt and that would be a bummer, but it would also be iconic.And so then I was like, okay, so we're not actually in the forest anymore.Not like literally in the forest.

So how can I get excited about a tent?Like this is how I, this is the way I ask myself wedding design questions.Like how can I get excited about the things that are already going to be there, being in a forest or being in the summer or being in the winter or blah, blah, or being in a tent.And then I got really into this vibe that I was like, this is what I want.And I was like, I want super minimal, like no dingle dangles, really, really minimal, moody.Let's go back to the mood.

Drapery.Drapery on every inch low hung drapery not high hung like I want it to be atmospheric I want you to not know if you're dreaming a mood a vibe I wanted to feel like you entered onto another planet drapery, and then I put together this whole mood board and shared my wedding designer andwas like, this is awesome But it is literally physically not possible with the kind of tent we're in it's a sailcloth tent This is important.Not this other kind of tent.So like we couldn't whatever we couldn't hang the drapery basically none of the drapery worked really not not in the way I wanted to do it and that was I was heartbroken I was like that's like my third vision that was my third I'd like I don't I don't know what else I like I don't know what to do here and then I had to search for yet a fourth vision which is the one we landed on and I'm very excited and it's gonna be fabulous and also decor is not everything I just wanted to feel like an experience hi Bootsy And yeah, I just want people to have fun there.And so I feel very happy with where we landed.

But I also would have 100 % loved every single one of these.TLDR, there are like a million different weddings that I could be so proud of decor -wise.And I do think that's true for everyone.And this is not gonna be like a final reflection of like all my design tastes or all of my soul or who I am as a person.Absolutely not.I don't know how it could be.

And that sounds stressful.Willie gets upset every time I get up to pause the camera.Is that disconcerting?

Is that disconcerting?Yeah.

I am gonna hold the mic like this, probably for the rest of my life till I die.I know some people don't like it, but this is what it sounds like when you don't hold it.Okay?It sounds extraordinarily different.And I personally feel that if a video doesn't have good audio, I'm furious.Like, this is so much less satisfying to my ears.

So I am doing this not for me. I'm doing this for you.

That's why.I saw Tiffany Ferg demonstrate the difference of that in one of her videos, and I was like, genius.Because that is why.It sounds better.It sounds better.when you hold it here.

I love her.Love that girl.If you guys don't watch her, watch her.Oh my god.Are you and Justin gonna have any babies?Ooh, a lot of people ask why I don't do vlogs anymore.

And I also get that in comments quite a bit on my videos of being like, I miss the vlogs, blah, blah, blah.Which is really touching and really nice.Well, there's actually two kinds of comments I get.I get, I miss the vlogs, why don't you do vlogs anymore?And then I miss the self -help advice -y videos, why don't you do those anymore?So, two different answers.

I'll start with the vlogs.I did love making vlogs.Well, there's aspects of it I loved, and then there's aspects of it I didn't so much love.I love that I got to capture pieces of my life and I have home videos amazingly edited, if I do say so myself, home videos and moments of stuff with my family and stuff and just me in my 20s, that's gonna be wild.I think that'll be fun for my kids to watch one day or just even me and be like, what was this like?I don't know.

I wish I could go back and watch videos of myself at 16.I think that's cool.I love capturing a little time capsule.of the moment.It's really fun creatively to try to like pull a story and a narrative out of freaking humdrum whatever life.I think it taught me a lot about storytelling.

I love being able to like connect and like a good vlog that like really hits someone in the heart.Those are my favorite.So those are things I liked about vlogging.However, reasons why I feel like I can't anymore.One reason is that like There's so many people watching now and I don't feel like there's much that I can share meaningfully about my day to day life with a million people that wouldn't like significantly.disrupt other people's lives like Family or friends or fiance, you know when I was vlogging I was single and I talked about dating It's probably not good for me to just like sit and talk openly about my intimate relationship Or like partnership with Justin.

That's not really it's not the same as dating and I'm kind of an open book.I will like you guys know I will talk about like my flaws, my mistakes, all like the worst things I've done.I would happily sort of happily like talk about like all the dark like undignified flawed human things in relationship because I think that's important to represent but there's another person in it and he didn't sign up to be a youtuber and it's not even like he's ever told me like you can't talk about this like he I don't think he's ever said that, but it just kind of makes sense to me that that's not really appropriate.And I do think there is also something to like, it's important to have like private things for you too.But I'm also just like, I love talking about it.So I would talk about anything.

But yeah, it affects other people, even my family.It's like, it's different for me to film a family dinner or a family vacation when I had You know, however, like a thousand people watching or or even some more, but it's kind of like, who's even going to see this?And it's very different to turn on a camera when everyone at the table knows there's a chance a million people might watch this.It makes everyone uncomfortable, I think, and as it should.And then other things like, part of it is just like the classic arc that happens to any vloggers.I feel like any vlogger that's fun to watch is being extremely open, extremely vulnerable, talking about like, you're basically like reading their most intimate diary.

And if it's fun to watch and vulnerable and raw, then a lot of people end up watching.And once a lot of peopleend up watching, it's really not responsible or appropriate to be sharing those things anymore, which is like the great trap, I think, of vlogging.I think of, you know, a great vlogger, Emma Chamberlain.I feel like there was a period where Emma Chamberlain, she was obviously like so vulnerable and blah, blah, blah, she's the greatest, we respect, we love, and then there's a point where she was so famous When I watch her videos, I'm like, oh, she does not know what she's allowed to talk about anymore.Like, she's running out of things that she can talk about.

The internet might be cruel to her if she says certain things, or exposes certain things, or says this about that person, or she might have personal life consequences if she does, or might feel like a betrayal to people, or whatever.But like, the more people who are watching, the more things feel like are off limit.Unless you want to lose friendships and like, offend the people in your life.Now Emma kind of does more fashion videos which makes me really happy for her and I feel like there was a period where she was like trying to figure out what else could she talk about that wasn't just her private life or feelings or thoughts and I'm glad I feel like she landed on the fashion thing because it is something where she can still express and hang out but doesn't have to be so explicitly personal and One thing I feel lucky for, very lucky for, is that I always have interior design content to fall back on, which is nice.Reason number three is that as much as I do like the vlogs I made, and I'm very, very proud of them, and I love that they brought a lot of people joy.They do kind of suck to make.

Like, it kind of sucks to be filming and narrating and producing your life instead of living it.I don't like doing that, which is like, crazy for me to say as someone who creates social media content, but like, I don't like doing that.It's the same feeling as if you go to a concert.You and you see that person at a concert who is making in an Instagram story of the entire concert It's like they're not even at the concert.They're not even present at it.They're not experiencing it.

They're experiencing it through their phone They're experienced it through creating a narrative and through exporting it to other people They are not experiencing the concert and like I feel like that's a good way to explain it I hope because I think everyone understands that It's like if you see the person at the concert who's just filming you're like put your phone down be at this concert You're not even gonna remember it.So that's what it's like to make vlogs It's like you're all at once trying to be really present but also be the cameraman and the director and the producer and writing the script and narrating and seeing how's this gonna la la la la It's like in a way.I just want to be in my life, you know, so it is easier to kind of Relegate filming to I'm filming for like three hours or I'm filming for this project or I'm filming for this sit and chat design video or I'm filming this makeover It's like there's a clear scope as opposed to like I'm just gonna film anything good or great or interesting or emotional or cool that happens That's almost like gives me anxiety.It's like I gotta pull the camera out anytime Something worth living for is happening.It almost makes you like paranoid.You're like, huh?

Is this good?Is my life good now?Is something good happening now?It misses a lot of checkboxes for me right now.Oh, one thing I'll say is I'm, the thing I miss about vlogs is the way I get to just like connect with viewers in a more casual way, not talking about interior design.Like I would love to have another video type where there's some of that energy.

I think we do get some of it in room makeovers but this is literally why I did this experimental video like over a year ago maybe that was like methe DC coffee shops and it was it was a vlog like we were just hanging out and I was just going to different DC coffee shops and just like talking like about my experience there and filming in there but like it was a vlog and nobody liked it.

Nobody watched it.

But literally that video was like, okay, how can I make a vlog that isn't about my personal life content, but we still get to like riff and hang out and share thoughts and joke and whatever.And then nobody liked it.So I stopped.So all that to say, sometimes I feel like people ask for vlogs, but then they don't want to watch them.So if you have an idea for another way to package a video for hanging out casually, and you think someone will watch it, and it doesn't violate someone's privacy, I am all ears.Oh, and then I forgot about the other part.

Why I don't do advice how -to videos anymore.I just don't think I have anything else that I have good advice on.I talked about the things I know.I don't make advice videos on everything.I don't have good advice on everything.

I don't have a good understanding of everything.

I only made advice videos if I was like, this is something that I think I've Good things to say.Yeah, I don't know anything else.But there's also a bit of me that doesn't love the feeling of giving advice anymore.Like, kind of like, who does she think she is?Who do I think she is?Sometimes it stresses me out.

Like, I feel like I'll get attacked if people are like, she thinks she knows about that?Why she thinks she's going to tell people to do?She thinks her relationship is so great.This is like the meanest voice in my head.I think it's made me less interested in sharing my encasing any confidence in my own thoughts.That's good.

So there's that a bit.It would have to be a topic that I think really earns it.I feel like I've learned a lot about this topic.I feel like I can add to the conversation in a way that other people haven't online.you know, like about dealing with anxious attachment, like learning to be confident and go for things about like learning to quit things, learning to make friends as an adult.And you definitely could make content on those things like infinitely and the internet does.

But I feel like I don't want to do it infinitely.I just want to say the things that I'm like, okay, I think this part is missing from the conversation.And then I'm kind of happy to move on.That being said, if I learn more stuff and I think it's good stuff, I'll share it.What would you want a self -help video on?I feel like sometimes people just ask for more self -help videos on topics I already did.

And I'm like, I did it.So if you name a new topic that I think a lot of viewers would benefit from, and I have something valuable to say, then I'll consider it.But you need to comment what it would be.And it can't be one I already did.

Okay, great.

Oh, Boots is trying to groom Whitley.Whitley usually lets him do it for like 10 seconds and he slaps him.Oh my god, we're watching history.Oh my god.Oh, you're gonna slap him.Slap.

Slap back.It's my favorite thing.Just a gentle slap.Are you gonna take a hint or are you gonna cross his boundaries?

They're just staring at each other.

Why don't you listen when he sets a boundary and take some space?Good job.

good boy does boundaries oh my god i'm so impressed with you oh someone asked if i would get a second cat i would okay since we're spilling some wedding secrets in this video let's talk about things i'm wearing to my wedding and to like the surrounding weeks there's a lot of family coming into town and stuff like that and there's brunches and whatever i justdecided that I'm a bride.I'm a bride for like the whole month before my wedding and I'm gonna be dressing like it.All of the jewelry items I'm gonna show you are from Quince.They're sponsoring this video.Starting with item number one, which are these amazing freshwater cultured pearl sculptural drop earrings.

So you know I love a pearl and I love something that's like timeless but with a little bit of a modern twist to it.And I love this earring because you can really easily dress it up or dress it down.And my entire approach to You know, bridal -related things I'm buying is that I would like to be able to wear them after my wedding.These earrings are gold vermeil, which means they wear very well for a long time.Before I ever ordered any Quinn's jewelry products, I'd watch, like, Reviews of people who'd owned quince jewelry for years and it doesn't wear down They're really great quality for a really good price point and I cannot decide which I love more these or quince's freshwater cultured Baroque pearl drop earrings.I love these.

I really really love the organic Unique shape of the pearls.I just feel like a pearl earring Elevates any outfit without a little bit of commotion for the cultured pearl toggle necklace.Some people have already commented this on on this when i was wearing in other videos i love this necklace because it has a little bit of like a modern spin on a classic pearl pendant necklace i fun fact justin's favorite like jewelry type is pearls he loves pearls he's adorable and um but i never want to wear like a full like pearl strand like it just feels older to me and i really like the gold chain and especially the toggle clasp that's my way of doing it and i love that what i really appreciate about quince is that they use premium materials and timeless designs that are built to last they also just believe in luxury for less a lot of the time with luxuryfor the brand you are paying for the clout and you can burn a lot of money that way but quince works directly with manufacturers and so they're able to keep their prices much more approachable without a ridiculous traditional luxury markup i also picked up this incredibly precious freshwater cultured pearl station bracelet it's just very light very delicate and my favorite thing about this bracelet is that it has three different clasp lengths so that you can actually adjust it to the size of your wrist because let me tell you one thing i cannot tolerate which is a bracelet that's just dangling getting caught on corners I have no time for it same as this like barely there tiny little baby gold chain it's so delicate and chic If I do say so myself, if you've been trying to up your jewelry game and invest in timeless pieces that can still be worn every day, but still feel elevated, I'm gonna link all of these jewelry pieces below.Quince has 365 day returns, but you won't want to return them.They're just very, very high quality.

I highly recommend them, whether it's for yourself or I also feel like these pieces make a really nice elevated gift or for like a special occasion or something.I'll link it all below.I'm flanked by two sweeties.

Gotta get symmetrical or people in the comments will have a bad day.

Several people ask like what other content creators I watch on YouTube.I do not watch any interior design content on YouTube anymore.I guess I used to, but I haven't watched that in a long time because it's like watching work.It's like I never get to leave the office then.I don't need to watch other people do room makeovers for so many reasons.First of all, I'm doing it all day long.

I'm interested in other things.Second of all, there's no way for me to watch it as just a viewer.I am watching it as a creator.Like I'm watching it as like, oh, how did they film this part?Like, oh, they did this different thing with their transitions.Or like, oh, maybe I should be featuring this kind of product more.

Like, I can't just relax and, like, sit back and enjoy the show, you know?It would be like, it's like if your job is accounting, and then when you went home at night to decompress, you just watched other people do accounting work, I don't think you'd be able to relax too well.And also it would make you think of like, oh, maybe I should be doing that during my accounting.It's like just would bring all the work stress back.No way.No.

And then thirdly, I don't want to like get ideas of what other people are doing in any way.I just don't think it's helpful for people directly in like my niche of interior design.I don't know.I like what I do when I am like not being influenced by my peers.I don't want to be colored by what they're doing or saying at all.I'm sure there's still overlap sometimes, because it's like, how much can you say about design?

And also there's coincidences sometimes.But overall, I think it'd just get me in my head.I just don't want to be watching what other people are doing.

So bad for me. I'm weak.

Oh, people I do watch.I do watch Mia Maples.I've said that before.But I do feel like, if you haven't watched her, she's so fun.She does a lot of fashion content.But I really like watching her, because I feel like it helps me understand what people get from watching me, which is that I'm not that interested in fashion, but I just like to hang out with her.

And sometimes it is hard to get why people like my videos, even though I obviously think my videos are great.I will never get to experience them as a new viewer.I will never get to experience watching my videos without knowing behind the scenes or without having pre -existing knowledge of the videos.And so it's really helpful, especially whenI'm like hating myself and I'm like, you're worthless, your videos are worthless.It's really nice to watch someone else and be like, oh, this is the value they bring.

I love Magnus Mitbo.He is a Nordic climber, makes really cool videos.

Outdoor boys, if you know, you know.What am I saying?They're huge.

Yeah, that's another person who's just like really nice to hang out with them.Beautiful.The Iron Snail is one I started watching With Justin, the Iron Snail encapsulates everything Justin loves about fashion and design.And also, he makes the most involved videos ever.I'm kind of in awe, both as a creator and in textile education.Mina Le, I watch her video essays quite frequently.

Somebody else asked, whenever I watch your videos, I am hypnotized by your gorgeous engagement ring.Can we please have some wedding details?When is it?Will it be traditional?Will you have bridesmaids?What's the color scheme?

Lottie do.I can't give you the color scheme yet.I gotta keep some secrets, but you'll know eventually.It's just colors.Like, it's not that, you're just gonna be like, oh, those are colors.But, it's gonna be late summer, and it will be pretty traditional.

Overall, I think it's pretty traditional.Like, I'm pretty traditional.I like traditional stuff.I'm not really counterculture, although I've been to lots of counterculture weddings that were f***ing so dope, and maybe they'll be more fun than mine will be.I don't really know.But, yeah, Justin and I kinda like traditional things.

I still just want it to be fun.I don't want it to feel Overly precious.I want it to be celebratory.Oh a booty cat.I will have bridesmaids Yeah, I will say all my sisters and my brother will be my bridesmaids people are always like what that's crazy Why is it crazy?that my brother, who I am as close to as my sisters, would stand on my side instead of with Justin?

He doesn't know f***ing Justin.He didn't spend f***ing 35 years being Justin's best friend.No, he's coming on my side.I mean, he knows Justin, but like, Justin's going to be up there with his best friends.Luke isn't his.Luke is mine.

Yeah, so there's things like that, like, I guess that are less traditional, but they don't matter to me.Here's one of the spiciest questions about internet scrutiny and backlash and who do you do?And they wrote, how are you handling your success?Obviously, everyone on YouTube hopes to eventually end up with a sizable enough audience to make a living, but I feel like it comes with so much, so much public feedback and speculation.And I also feel like there is a weird trend where popular YouTubers get praised by their fan base, but as soon as they're truly successful, I get the vibe that many viewers get jealous and suddenly are there only to criticize.Without writing a thesis about it, how are you faring?

How do you deal?I feel like I couldn't get on YouTube because I'd love the interaction until I didn't anymore, and I'd be genuinely telling subscribers to f**k themselves.Lmao adorable.I do like that question because it is like a huge huge part It's like it's definitely the hardest part of being on YouTube and I think I've been so far like I haven't had that hard of a time on YouTube.I know that there's very hurtful things out there if I wanted to find them.I've basically learned not to look for them.

But if I look, I'm sure they're there.Everybody's reaction is always like, oh, but you know, don't take that seriously.Or like, you know, they're just haters.Or like, you know this.Or you know that's not true.Why would you?

It's really easy to say until it's you.It's very, very hard.I think the reason I'm good at all at what I do with like connecting people is because I am extremely attuned to what people want and what people don't want.of me and how I'm being received.Like, that is a skill.It is the reason why I'm here and connect with people, but it is also the very thing that makes me, like, I don't have, like, a hard shell up like I'm not like whatever they can say whatever the fuck they want like doesn't doesn't roll off my back no I'm like extremely affected by that stuff I'm not above it at all it affects me a lot but one I think I've learned not to go looking for it I figured that like if there is criticism that is legitimate, because criticism is important.

Constructive criticism, things I need to change in videos, things my supporters don't like.If a lot of people agree with it, that's important.And I figure that if it is important, it will end up in like top YouTube comments.I will receive it.I will hear it.But other than that, If there's stuff that's just like to tear me down or like a personal attack or just hate, I would have to go looking for it more, and you can, and I've decided it's obviously very bad for my mental health to deal with it.

to try and figure out all the bad things people are saying about me.But it's also really bad for the videos.I have decided that it is an unprofessional decision for me to go and look up the bad things people say about me if I then intend to come here and make open -hearted content.This is the way I can explain it.Like, if you had to walk into a party, and before you walked into the party, you read a list of, like, all the things people hate about you or say about you behind your back, and someone is like, So these things came from people in that room.You don't know who, but it came from people in that room.

Go into the room.How open hearted are you going to be when you enter that party?How like relaxed and fun and bantery and open hearted are you going to be?No.very.You're going to assume it's everyone.

You're going to assume you're being watched.You're going to second guess everything you say or how you're being understood.And if I did that, I would literally no longer be able to make good videos.And I've experienced that.Like when some kind of scrutiny or like something hurtful does, like I do end up hearing it.I have a really hard time making videos for like usually a month or two and I and I just have to completely shut down and it affects the content so I basically think of it as like it is my responsibility to like not look at stuff that's just personal attacks basically and then I also just think yeah that it comes with the territory because stuff still gets me down like a lot.

I've had pretty major like semi -acute mental health crises from being on the internet and and then i also think just like okay so this is if this is like the price of entry for having this career am i okay with that price of entry yeah it is the trade -off and so far i've been okay with it but what the subscriber mentioned is interesting about like that trend i think about that a lot the trend of like being beloved and then like once you reach a certain point like there's backlash and being taken down.I've been paranoid about this since before I even started YouTube and kind of bracing for it inevitably just like knowing there's very few people who just remain beloved forever like even off of YouTube like celebrities, especially women.I can't think of a ton of, like, women who stay beloved forever.It usually, like, maybe you're popular, you have a backlash, and then maybe you get a resurrect, and then you have a backlash, or whatever.It does happen a lot more with women.and I'm I don't know like I live in terror of it over it like I live in terror of losing Favor because having public favor is the reason I have a career.

So if I lose public favor, I lose my career Yeah, I live in terror of that.Yeah, and it's probably inevitable for me to like stay embraced by the internet and not be taken down and not have some big backlash would be an exception.If I stay around long enough, at least some significant portion of people, if not the entire internet.We'll decide they don't like me.That's crazy.It's crazy.

I got to get out of here before that happens.What will it be?I don't know.

I do.I will say somebody else asked, this was such a good question.

Someone else said, what's a fear you're currently navigating and how are you overcoming it?I don't know how I'm overcoming it.I am pretty constantly thinking about the fact that I have a personality based career.My professional success is directly tied to my personality being likable.Think about that.So, it is both like a huge gift and an enormous source of stress.

It's basically my biggest fear.

When will my personality end my career?

Or when will people just decide they don't like my personality?

Yeah, I'm scared.Yeah, I'm scared.How am I overcoming it?It honestly helps a lot.

I don't know if this sounds crazy.Everything I'm saying probably sounds crazy and delusional, but I'm answering the question.It helps to say the truth.So right now, I might sound crazy and delusional, but I'm just saying what's true.And then if people think it's gross, I can be like, wow, that's too bad, but it is what I meant.So that helps.

And then watching how others react.get through like a professional takedown or like a personality takedown or something.I think in watching from the outside and just being like, dang, that probably sucks for them.And I don't think they deserved it, even if it's hard to go through.Yeah.And trying to hold onto that and be like, that'll probably happen to me one day.

And it'll probably feel like everyone hates me. and it'll probably make me feel really down about myself, but having that third person perspective, I'm trying to hold onto that and put it in the bank.Yeah, I hope it doesn't get really bad.How do you feel about being right about Lily Allen and her creepy ex -husband?The comments on your Architectural Digest home tour video, I was doing commentary on their home tour, are hilariously focused on your telepathic abilities.Yes, it's true.if people aren't familiar with this video, basically I made this video like years ago reviewing Lily Allen and what's his name's Arc Digest home tour and most of my commentary was just about how like the vibes were off with them and something was wrong and I actually tried not to go that hard on David Harbour.

I actually tried to go like tread really lightly on him because I know I knew if I went hard and said all the things that I telepathically know that people would just attack me but then here we are years later and That video like had a resurgence recently because everyone was like OMG this aged very well and everything you said was correct.

Is she okay?Does she need to be saved?I love her.I would do anything for her.

Yeah, I don't know what to say.I have an uncanny ability to read people.This is what I'm saying.Listen, there's so many things I'm bad at, but I f***ing, I can peg them.I can peg them.There's so many things

many cat hairs on me.I've been so right about naming hoes, villains, devils in my life.And no one ever believes me.No one ever listens until it's too late.And I've literally gotten in the habit of like, now I announce it to everyone and I say, no one's going to listen to me, but this person is that.And you will all remember this moment three years from now when you come to terms.

I know what the signs are.

This is my talent.and it was captured one time in a video.Actually, that's not even true.I also made an Instagram years ago, years ago, calling some of the weirdness with, what's his name?Ryan Reynolds.Don't even get me started, I could say everything.

Ooh, tell us about how you're getting on with your dumb phone.

The phrasing of that sentence makes me feel like they're British.How am I getting on with it?I was getting on pretty good, and then I left it in an Uber, and One big downside of having a dumb phone is that you can't track it.Like you can track, find my iPhone where an iPhone is.And I contacted the Uber driver maybe a hundred times and they would not respond and they would not bring it back.I contacted Uber to send a complaint and be like, hey, they're not responding.

And then Uber was just like, they're independent contractors.We can't make them do anything.Anyway, so I don't have it anymore.That's how I lost it.I couldn't get it back.But I was also kind of relieved at a certain point.

I was like kind of on the fence at that point about the Dunn phone.My biggest complaints were that I felt like I was spending a good amount of time on my computer doing work things that I couldn't do on my phone.Like sometimes I need to do work on my phone.I don't know.I don't know.Is that good?

I don't know.But I couldn't get the phone back andwas an expensive dumb phone.I wasn't just gonna go buy a second one of those at all, so I just rebooted my old iPhone.Overall, the dumb phone was great, and there are a bunch of different ones that have different features that people like or dislike or whatever.I would say one of the biggest things that bothered me, one of the biggest downfalls of it to me, when you get a text, if you read it, it's red, and you can't just mark a text unread.

And that for me and my anxiety is huge.It's like, I don't know, that's like a feature I actually rely on to like manage my anxiety.If I'm not gonna respond to a text in that moment, I have to mark it as unread as you can do on the iPhone.Otherwise I'm like still thinking about it and then I just have to respond to the moment.So I felt like I was like, I started like keeping a list of people I had to text back and which was so stupid or I'd have to do it in the moment like more anxiously and just like I can't.

That was a weirdly, like a big bummer to me.

Yeah, so I'm back, I'm back on the iPhone.It was definitely a good purge.Get a dumb phone and do it for like, do it for like four months.I mean you can do it also just for one month, but I do think there's something to do it for like a chunk of time where like you have to discover new workarounds, you have to establish new habits.It's pretty eye -opening.I recommend.

And I'm on an iPhone now, obviously.

Are you DIYing anything for your wedding?Just a few things.Yes, but just a few.Most of it, no.I mean, for a lot of reasons.We're having a lot of people.

I didn't want to be doing labor that much.I don't want to be stressed doing it.We're working with a wedding planner.

And I do it all day for my job.This is the problem.This is the problem with making your hobby your job.Is that like, Sometimes I don't want to do it anymore.But I am DIYing just a few things so far, including my veil.gonna make with my mom I have a specific design which is very sweet and then also I don't know if you call this a DIY but it kind of makesy I have this like vision for adding like fabric flowers to this like after -party dress I have and I guess this is a DIY also like personalized touches basically for We had like an engagement party Valentine's Day themed and so I wrote Valentine's to everybody like handwritten letters First wouldn't be a short card then it just turned into like full like love letters to every single person who came So that was really sweet and felt meaningful I'm very pro DIYing but I think there's also other ways that like I'm happy to cut a corner and and simplify.

I'm just trying to keep things simple.

Like, you know, people even suggested, they were like, oh, you could, like, use all your own glassware and stuff, which, like, I totally could, except that I have to, like, haul the glassware, like, bring the glassware home.

The best gift to me is, like, not doing any of that.

Wow, there's so many other juicy questions here, but I also think I just spoke for two hours straight.I feel like this video's gonna be really long.If we need to do another one of these, we'll do another one of these, but y 'all, I gotta go feed these little cats, okay?Thanks for hanging out, thanks for the goss, thanks for the juice.I hope I didn't say the wrong thing, but one day I will.See you soon.

I can't get out of here!

You guys are trying not to disturb the cats.