Feral Hogs: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

Our main story tonight concerns pigs, fat dogs in tap shoes.Specifically, we're gonna be talking about feral pigs, boars or hogs.They're the things being chased in this recent viral clip from Poland.

Well, here's something you don't see every day, a humanoid robot chasing a herd of wild boars.Yeah, the now viral video from Poland shows a robot named Edward as it chased the boars out of a Warsaw neighborhood.Edward can be heard shouting, go away in Polish as the animals fled into the forest before then waving goodbye.

Yeah, that is real.Apparently, Poland has a humanoid robot named Edward, who took it upon himself to chase off some feral pigs, and then politely wave them goodbye, which is honestly a pretty canny PR campaign for anthropomorphic robots.All I'm saying is, that is a nice way to get us all used to him before he's inevitably one day used as a weapon of war.Oh, no!Edward the Hague?But he was so chill to those pigs!

But feral hogs aren't just a problem in Poland.There are lots of them here in the U .S.too, as you may remember from this tweet that went viral a few years ago.

You might have noticed that the top trending topic everywhere seemed to be feral hogs.Bizarre turn of events which began with a tweet from a guy named Willie in Arkansas who added his two cents to the roiling debate over banning assault weapons.Quote, legit question for rural Americans.How do I kill the 30 to 50 feral hogs that run to my yard within three to five minutes while my small kids play?

The internet absolutely obsessed over that tweet.It got its own know your meme page, and people responded with an avalanche of jokes like, my milkshake brings 30 to 50 feral hogs to the yard, and my neck, my back, my 30 to 50 feral hog attack, which is very funny.Twitter used to be good.But the thing is, that guy wasn't exaggerating about the potentialthreat of hogs, because it turns out they're actually a massive problem.As big as 400 pounds, fast as a car, sharp -toothed and aggressive.

Feral hogs, wild boars, razorbacks, whatever you call them, they are one of the most destructive species in America.That is true.Feral hogs are one of the most destructive species in the country, which is genuinely shocking, because look at that thing.It looks adorable.It'd be like learning the number one producer of carbon emissions is Baymax.Sure, he's a robotic healthcare provider who looks like a marshmallow, but it turns out his farts are responsible for killing most of the bees.

And if that wasn't already bad enough, feral hogs are also spreading at an alarming rate.And not just in rural America.Just listen to this man who lives in the suburb of Dallas.

Ted Faulkner has lived in South Mesquite for 17 years.And the entire time he's dealt with feral hogs.As of late he says they've been coming around more frequently.

There are six to eight to ten hogs and some are as large as cows.

That's not a one -off, either.There's a bunch of ring camera footage of feral hogs roaming various U .S.suburbs.So, hogs can now officially join the usual blend of ring camera content, dancing UPS drivers, raccoons being sneaky little guys, and screaming confrontations between neighbors as the increasing technological distance between us converts what was once a shared community into a paranoid surveillance dystopia.You know, ring camera stuff.

The point is, there are a lot more feral hogs in the U .S.than you may think.The USDA estimates there are currently over six million feral swine in the U .S.and that they're responsible for over $3 billion in damage to U .

S.agriculture each year.And they are spreading fast.In the past 30 years, hogs have expanded their range from 20 states to 30.And experts have referred to their increase in numbers as a pig bomb that could have devastating effects on food production and the environment, which is surprising both on its face and because I cannot believe that the term pig bomb hadn't already been taken by something on the Denny's menu.Part of that isn't even taking into account stories like this.

A warning this morning about the growing dangers from feral hogs.These pigs were blamed for the gruesome death of a woman in Texas last week, and now experts are saying that incidents like these are likely to become more common across the United States.Milder winters caused by climate change are helping the population explode.Wild pigs are destructive, they are extremely difficult to control, and they are statistically more dangerous than sharks.

Yeah, that's actually true.Wild pigs have killed slightly more people than sharks worldwide in the past 20 years.Although, to be fair, statistically, lots of animals are more dangerous than sharks.Cows kill more people than they do, for example.And yet, the cowards at Discovery Channel still refuse to do Cow Week.Why?

Because they're afraid of cows, as, to be honest, they fucking should be.Now, luckily, it is still not likely that feral hogs will kill you, but as you're about to see, they can still do a lot of damage in other ways, to the point where many researchers consider them the most destructive invasive species on the planet.So given that, tonight, let's talk about feral hogs, where they came from, the damage they're doing, and how we can fight back.And let's start with the fact that feral hogs aren't native to the U .S.In fact, no pig or any other member of the swine family is native to the Western Hemisphere.

But over the centuries, as people came from all over the world, they brought pigs with them.First, domesticated pigs were brought over by Christopher Columbus, in what's remembered as his only moral failing.And later, in the 19th century, they were joined by wild boar, which were brought over to providea new game species for wealthy hunters.Many of those pigs and boars then escaped captivity and, in some cases, bred together, eventually becoming the hybrid feral swine that we have today.And part of the reason they survived so well in the wild is that, aside from humans, pigs... have very few natural predators.

They're also incredibly resourceful.They can eat a variety of foods.And while they mainly thrive in southern states, even in cold climates, they can burrow into the snow, creating so -called pigloos to survive the winter.Which is, and this is true, Cute.They also apparently maintain complex social relationships, can choose to resolve conflicts without violence, and seem to understand what they see in a mirror, which obviously, we already knew, she can resolve conflicts without violence, she just chooses not to.If there's one thing a pig is gonna do, it's escalate the situation.

As for the prevalence of these hogs, a key thing you need to understand is, they cannot stop fucking.

One sow becomes reproductively active when she's seven or eight months old, and she can have a litter of six every time she has a litter.So, in five years, one sow could have 1 ,000 descendants.

Yeah, that is a lot of pig births.And look, I don't want to say I told you so, but I do think it's time for us to admit that abstinence -only pig sex education just isn't working, because the pigs are gonna fuck.Look at me.The pigs are gonna fuck.And as their population has grown, feral hogs have begun to drift from rural environments into suburban and even urban ones.And it can be pretty alarming to suddenly see them in your neighborhood.

Residents in the southern section of the Florida Shore subdivision, around 35th and Yuletree, woke up this morning to find their lawns looking more like tossed salad.And it's not the first time.They're fed up with wild hogs having their way with the properties here.Getting all over the place.

Going...

to see that man weigh in on all local news stories.Stabbing at the local strip mall, they're taking out knives going, and then the blood, and the guy's all like, ow, ow, the light, you know, like he's dying.But as silly as doing a pig impression on the news is, any time you have wild animals crossing over into heavily populated areas, it can be very dangerous.As one expert said, hitting a two or 300 -pound pig on a highway is not that much different than hitting a two or 300 -pound rock.And it's not just cars.Two F -16 fighter jets crashed after they hit pigs on a runway.

But the main damage these hogs do is environmental, as they not only eat farmers' crops, but can destroy seedlings by rooting in the dirt.There are fields that have been totally destroyed by them, and while they are rooting, hogs can break up irrigation lines and infrastructure on farms, and leave holes in fields that can sink a tractor and destroy expensive equipment.And the thing is, they seem to do this no matter the crop.One expert even said, we haven't been able to find a crop that feral swine won't eat.That includes everything from corn, to soybeans, to peanuts.Apparently hogs love peanuts.

And don't just take that from me.Listen to this former state agriculture commissioner.Hogs love peanuts.See?Told you that.You didn't believe me, though, did you?

You thought, oh, bullshit, you're the last person I'd trust to tell me whether or not hogs love peanuts.But now that Mississippi State Commissioner of Agriculture and Commerce Lester Spell says it, oh, suddenly you're all, oh, everyone knows hogs love peanuts, John.That's not news.And on top of all this, hogs will even threaten livestock.

The big boars are our main problem.They will kill the newborn lambs and kid goats that are right there on the, uh...ground, because that's when they're most vulnerable, is when they're young.And they'll come along through there, and they'll eat those kids and lambs, just like a three -year -old would M &Ms.

That's pretty alarming, isn't it?A quick side note on his analogy there.You don't have to be three years old to absolutely hawk down a bowl of M &M's.No one is savoring them at any age.No elders are out there digging in with a knife and fork.No, the FDA classifies M &M's as an inhalant for a reason.

The proper way to eat them is to pour them into your open mouth like a baby bird and feel absolutely nothing afterwards.Yeah, and it's not just lambs.Hogs prey on fawns and endangered salamanders, and ravey clutches of ground -nesting birds and threatened sea turtles.In fact, one expert said that, we've taken feral swine, and in necropsies, shown their entire stomach and intestines are full of baby sea turtles.Which is one of the most disturbing things you could possibly find inside of a dead hog, other than maybe a skeleton labeled the real Tom Hanks.I have...

So many questions there, including why the name tag?Also, if he's in there, who was in A Man Called Otto?You know, I guess it turns out I ended up only having two questions, but they are big ones and I do want answers.And when you take hogs' impact on agriculture and wildlife together, it is no wonder some of those who study them describe hogs in apocalyptic terms.

Feral hogs are an ecological train wreck.Feral hogs are competitors for native wildlife, they're nest predators for anything that lays an egg on the ground, and they're a significant source of mortality for sensitive species and endangered species.

Right, it turns out, ever since pigs showed up in America, they've set about annihilating any living thing they came into contact with.So I guess, being around Christopher Columbus, must have really rubbed off on them.It's been estimated that feral swine have played a role in the decline of nearly 300 native plants and animals in the U .S.alone, over 250 of which are threatened or endangered.In fact, research shows that the habitat where hogs are present is more than a quarter less biologically diverse than one where they are not.

And if you are still not convinced that hogs are bad news, first, congratulations on being the biggest ride -or -die hog fan on the planet.And second, we haven't even gotten to the potential for disease outbreaks yet.Feral swine carry over 30 pathogens and 40 parasites, many of which can infect wildlife.They can introduce diseases like Giardia, Salmonella, and E. coli into the water supply.And the worry is that an outbreak involving feral pigs would be incredibly difficult to contain.But even the diseases that don't threaten humans directly can still carry other risks.

For instance, pseudorabies isn't a threat to people, but it is usually fatal to other animals.Then there is African swine fever, which thankfully hasn't shown up in America yet, but given our growing feral hog population, it could only be a matter of time.One expert warned, if an animal disease like African swine fever or hoof and mouth gets into these animals, it will be almost impossible to stop it will shut down our livestock industry.And if you're thinking, well, sure, that does sound frightening, but it's not like infected pigs can just buy a plane ticket and fly here.Well, kinda.

Well, some pork problems at Hartsfield -Jackson.Airport officials discover a cooked pig in checked luggage.Officials say canine Hardy, a member of the airport's Beagle Brigade, alerted them to the baggage of a traveler from Ecuador.And inside, specialists discovered this, a nearly two -pound roasted pig head.

Look, there have been some happy moments in my life.The birth of my children, my wedding, yadda, yadda, yadda.But I don't think I've ever experienced a joy as pure as this.beagle who just found two pounds of roasted pig face.When you're an airport dog, you spend all your time finding boring things like guns or cocaine, but that is the face of a dog who just scored himself a surprise luau.And look, we're all lucky that that pig got intercepted, but I do hope they were careful in disposing of it, because experts that we talked to pointed out that if it had been infected, hadn't been fully cooked, and was just dumped into a landfill, feral hogs often feed there and could well have ended up spreading the disease anyway.

The point here is, clearly, an uncontrolled feral hog population is bad for a lot of reasons.And we've actually been trying all sorts of ways to contain it.but with varying degrees of success.First, there is hunting.Sport hunting can undeniably be a powerful tool for controlling animal populations.And some states have loosened laws to encourage more pig hunting in particular, eliminating seasons and bag limits, and basically doing everything they can to encourage hunters to kill as many hogs as possible, with Texas probably going the furthest.

It is now legal to kill a feral hog in the state of Texas even if you don't have a hunting license.This law is the least restrictive yet for Texas property owners.No questions asked, no hunting license needed.

Yeah, no license, no questions asked.Although I guess if any state was going to lead the way on this, it was always gonna be Texas.the place where local news starts every morning with a list of the things it's now legal to kill.Good morning, Texas.Today, it's mimes.Yeah, mimes are on the list, so grab your gun and happy hunting.

I've already got my mime call right here.Yeah, it's silence.It's just a little bit of mime hunting fun for all of us there.Seriously, though, it is open season on mimes today.Go ahead and put them in a little box.And with encouragement like that, it is no surprise that after white -tailed deer, feral pigs are now very popular.

big game animal in North America.And that can seem like a win -win.After all, hogs need to be gotten rid of, and hunters love going after them, especially because they're a challenging quarry because they are so smart.For instance, hunters used to go after them during the day, but pigs then responded by becoming largely nocturnal.And that intelligence has created a cottage industry of techniques to try and outsmart pigs, including my absolute favorite, this device.

OK, for you hunters that hog hunt, this is it.Night and Hail's Hog Call.With this one, all you got to do is blow it and just see that hog out there.You know the sound.That's the Hog Call by Night and Hail.

Yeah, is it, though?I mean, I guess it depends.Are hogs attracted to the sound of a kazoo being violently murdered?Look, I'm no expert in hog calling, but I do have it on pretty good authority what they sound like.Exactly.Maybe consult with that guy next time.

But while some hog hunters rely on calls, others have resorted to much more extreme advantages.

The problem has gotten so bad here...It's legal to hunt hogs from the sky.It's loaded.You don't even need a license to kill, firing out of so -called pork choppers.We'll get him out that open.Let's get him out that open.

Okay.

The helicopter hog hunting is the number one most effective way to hunt pigs.

Good shot, baby.Thank you.It's true.People now hunt hogs from helicopters, which sounds like the sort of activity you'd plan if you asked Chat GPT to invent a new bachelor party activity from scratch.And apparently, they are genuinely called pork choppers, which is clearly very good.When you come up with a pun like that, what are you gonna do?

Not shoot rifles at pigs from aircraft?Come on!Pork choppering has now become an extremely popular way to hunt hogs.Not only does the USDA do it, but states like Texas have turned it into something of a tourism industry.A few years ago, Texas even legalized hunting hogs by hot air balloon, something nobody seems to have been interested in doing, given the head of the Balloon Federation of America told reporters, I have never had a phone call from anybody asking to do this.I think the people have not stopped laughing yet.

And you know a proposal is stupid when it's laughed at by the head of the Balloon Federation of America.But there are real problems with just relying on hunting to be the solution here, for one.Hogs are reproducing faster than they can be hunted.To eradicate them, their population must drop 60 % to 80 % each year.And in a busy year, recreational hunters kill only about 24%.But hunting isn't just insufficient.

It may actually be making this problem worse.Because hogs are such an appealing game animal, some businesses started transporting them to new states so that they could be hunted there.And unsurprisingly, many of those who imported pigs to their area for hunting have since come to seriously regret that.

A lot of these hunters and hunting clubs can remember 20 or 30 years ago when pigs were actually brought in.Now, if you ask those people today, they would tell you they made a huge mistake.

Yeah, I bet.And look, I might be inclined to be more sympathetic to someone who brought animals where they don't belong because they thought it would be fun only to lose control of them and watch them destroy everything if that wasn't literally the plot of Jurassic Park.Or in this case, I guess, Jurassic Pork, obviously.So clearly, hunting isn't going to be the sole answer here.But unfortunately, every other option also has its pros and cons.For instance, there is trapping, which allows you to capture entire groups of hogs at the same time.

That sounds good.The challenge there, though, is that pigs, as I've mentioned, are very smart, and they tend to learn fast.

I have traps that I no longer use because the hogs have figured out how to get out of them.See how they're piling up?They're forming a pig pyramid.It's kind of for protection.They try to get underneath each other.They'll attack that corner, and a lot of times what they do is they'll run out over the top of each other and jump out.

Yeah, that's both impressive and also pretty humbling.Pigs get caught in a trap once and instantly figure out how to get out of it.Meanwhile, this morning, I pushed a door that said pull in the building I've worked in for 13 years.And they might not even need to build something as elaborate as a pig pyramid, given that sometimes they'll get out with pure determination, as this man discovered when he taunted a pig that he found in his trap.

Hey, little piss off.How you doing, buddy?Let's see.Look at this.Oh, fuck.

Very few instances of someone being as completely owned by a pig as that.It's basically just that guy and the sheepdog who came in second at the end of the movie, Babe.I just lost a sheep herding contest to a pig.What do I even do now?And the crucial thing about trapping pigs is, you need to catch the entire group or sounder all at once, because if you don't get the whole sounder, the trap in that location is no longer really viable, because they'll basically communicate, that's not some place to go.That is why some have pushed for a more extreme alternative, poison.

Researchers have spent years testing poison options, but unfortunately, the ideal hog bait, one that can kill them humanely, without risking hurting people or other animals, hasn't been discovered yet, and not for lack of trying.A few years back, Texas' agriculture departmentpushed for the use of a poison called warfarin under the brand name Kaput.But many hunters, wildlife organizations, and pork producers pushed back, citing the obvious issue with introducing a toxic ingredient into a whole ecosystem.

You know, because you got a deer comes up and eats it, he dies.A buzzard comes up and eats the deer, he dies.Then you got coons that eat the leftovers that are on the ground, they die.I mean, you never know.It's just a chain reaction.

Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it?It's not like you can just put up a sign in the woods that says, delicious treats for pigs only, for a bunch of reasons.One, deer can't read, and two, raccoons famously don't recognize authority.Fuck you, oppressor!Live free and eat trash!Researchers have tried to develop all sorts of tactics to ensure that only pigs eat poison bait, including putting it in a container with a 17 -pound lid.

Although, unfortunately, that still doesn't keep out bears, who would remain at risk of getting poisoned.

They've even tried this.A new type of feeder is being tested at LSU that would only distribute poisoned bait through technology that recognizes feral hogs through their voice.According to Commissioner Strain, this oink -recognition technology could usher the return of kaput if it proves to just target pigs.

Look, it is not the point, but credit whoever wrote the phrase, this oink -recognition technology could usher in the return of kaput, because that is just a beautiful concussion of words.There should be a mini Pulitzer for sentences, and it should be yours.Unfortunately, though, there are real questions regarding cruelty when it comes to warfarin, as it can cause a slow, days -long death due to internal bleeding.That is why, when Australia considered using it, it eventually concluded that the method of death was so cruel that use of warfarin should be outlawed.Meanwhile, still, other researchers have looked into contraceptive bait, which would neutralize hogs' ability to reproduce, which honestly sounds like the best solution here.There's even a product out there right now called HogStop, which claims it is effective at lowering sperm count.

in boars.The problem there, though, is it is female hogs that drive fertility, given that one sow can have multiple male pig fathers in a given litter.So, ideally, there'd be a contraceptive targeting the sows as well as the boars, but there isn't yet.The bottom line here is that, as it stands, no single method is gonna be able to control our feral hog population by itself.Instead, it's gonna take a bunch of tools.And the key thing is to use them wisely, because almost all of them could backfire.

So that's gonna mean hunting without incentivizing the spread of pigs, trapping in a way that doesn't, teach hogs to avoid traps, and devising a toxic bait that isn't unnecessarily cruel and doesn't do even more damage to the environment.And success is going to look different depending on where you live.In states with new or small hog populations, eradication is possible.Iowa, New York, and Idaho have all managed to eliminate feral hog populations because they addressed the problem early on.But for the hardest -hit states, like Texas, the truth is eradication is never likely to happen.In fact, researchers determined Texas would need to remove approximately two million wild pigs per year just to keep three million of them on the landscape.

which is a hell of a lot of hog killing, to still have a hell of a lot of hogs.Look, let's face it here, the hard truth is that feral hogs are probably always gonna be with us in some capacity, but that doesn't mean that we have to surrender.In fact, we shouldn't surrender.Because I've learned one thing from the movies, is that whenever America gets invaded, it fights back immediately after that is an appropriate pause for an inspirational speech.And if that is what America needs right now, then that's what it's gonna get.It's gonna be easy.

But believe me, If we work together, we can look this hog invasion straight in its beady little eyes.and start pushing back.You know, we can turn back this pig talk if we stand together.We can defuse this pig bomb, and we can push their population back down to a manageable level.Because right now, they think they've beaten us just because these hogs are able to routinely eat our crops and destroy our fighter jets and snack on our baby turtles.So we need to respond with ingenuity, with grit.

I can't believe I'm about to say this.with a judicious application of assault helicopters.Good, good, then you can bring it.Actually, that needs more research, so let's hold off on using it now and circle back later when the science improves.

I've got all these hog -sized condoms.

I'd absolutely love to hear it, but unless you've got an IUD for pigs, it's just not gonna be enough.What I'm saying here is, we need to work together.In fact, you know what?We have to work together.And if we do, if we can catch this menace by its curly little tail, then I promise you, this will be our Swine Dependence Day!Say to you.

Our show, thank you so much for watching.We'll see you next week.

Exhale, inhale, and you get...I don't know what all that hand action is, but it looks good.