Full interview with Count Binface ahead of Clacton by-election | BBC News

Now, so far, one of the only few who say they will stand in the Clacton by -election is Count Binface, who was last seen sharing a stage with Andy Burnham at the Makerfield by -election.And Count Binface joins us now.

Good morning, your time.Good evening, Sigma 9 time.It's a pleasure to be with you.

Good morning from space.Hello to you.First question, why would an intergalactic space warrior want to stand to be the MP for Clacton?Why not?It's a good question.Tell me about your manifesto.

What can you offer the people of Clacton?Have you ever been there?

No, because I understand from the current incumbent that is part of how you do the job.So I deliberately stayed away.Is that how it works?But, you know, if I get the 10 nominations, because, hey, look, There's no guarantee I'm standing for the election, as I'm sure you know.I'm game.But I have to get the signatures from 10 local inhabitants.

Otherwise, this is a non -starter.And then, of course, I will tailor my manifesto to the local area.as always, but most of my national policies will remain building at least one affordable house, nationalising Adele, bring back Ceefax, and of course, moving the hand dryer in the gents' toilet in the Crown and Treaty pub, Uxbridge, to a more sensible position, because as you know, it's a national issue.

Those policies didn't go down too well, did they, with the good people of Makerfield?I believe you got 95 votes at the recent by -election, so how are you hoping to do any better?

What a disgracefully scornful tone.How dare you?95 actual votes?That's a dolly parton, 95.Just one shy of a reverse 69 which I scored against Boris in an Uxbridge sports hall in 2019.So I'm cock -a -hoop, I'm over here.

moon.I'm over my moon.I'm doing very well.I came seventh out of 14.I mean, what more do you want?

What do you say to those other parties who have decided not to field candidates in Clacton?

Well, I mean, that's for them, isn't it, mate?That's democracy.They can choose to run away from my beneficence and magnificence.Or maybe they just noticed that Nigel is up to a rather peculiar hissy fit, and they're keeping their powder dry for a second by -election when, of course, the Parliamentary Committee reports.But interestingly, you see, the thing is, that second election which would cost £380 ,000 will only happen if Nigel wins this one.So if you vote Binface, you save the British taxpayer £380 ,000 without me doing anything.

Stick it in the Ministry of Defence.How do you like them apples?

Can I ask roughly where you are, how long it's going to take you to Clacton and when you're planning to make your first visit and what you plan to do while you're there?

Well, good question.Absolutely.Now we're talking.We're cooking on gas here.I was on my way back to Sigma -9 in my starship, the Alboreto, and I caught wind of what was going on yesterday, so I did a quick old U -turn, a bit like Keir Starmer.Did one of those.

Lovely jubbly.And zoomed back, so I'm approaching the Kuiper belt of your star system, and I'll be with you in a jiffy.

Would you be up for a head -to -head debate with Nigel Farage?

A tete -a -lid debate.I see what you're saying.Yeah, why not?I'd be up for that.I'd like to understand how you get £5 million in crypto donations, which, if they're completely up for it,board, I think we'd all like some of that.

So we could ask him how he can enrich our coffers just like his own.And, you know, I think he's got...I'm sure he's got nothing to hide.I'm sure he's not going to do a reverse ferret, because it looks like it could be the Benny McBinface election to demonstrate the wonders of democracy like never before.No, I'm sure he's up for it just as much as I am.

Clearly, Mr Farage denies any accusations of wrongdoing.Very quickly, Count Binface, can you win?

Probably not.But you know what?It's the taking part that counts.My job is to demonstrate that British democracy is wonderful and unique in the entire cosmos, because you can stand for whatever you want.You can stand no matter who you want.You could stand if you want.

Come and join me.Why not exercise your democratic rights?And let's see what it takes me, or indeed you.You might be the next MP for Clacton.Who knows?Count Binface, many thanks.

Ah, well done.