Harper Has a Crush On Kaido!

I'm getting my belly button pierced.

Oh, no, you don't.

Don't do that.

That's trashy.

You want to know who said it looked good?

Who?

What?

Why are you talking to him?

Wait.

Why do you care what he says? Oh my gosh. Are you talking to him?

Like lightly texting.

Lightly texting? Oh my gosh.

No, you are not. Yes, I am. Like talking like as in like a friend. Yeah. I have a crush on him. I don't know if he has a crush on me. No!

No!

One, you're crushing on blank, which I would love to say blank's name.

Two.

Fine, I have a crush on Kato.

Oh!

What?

All right, and we're back today, guys. Do you guys remember that one time when Maverick wanted to name the podcast exclamation? Yes. Oh my gosh That was so can you imagine?

Explanation mark world tour welcome back to exclamation point the best part like

the point to

Maverick wanted to name the podcast exclamation point and me and Kate were like no we have to name a lol podcast I'm being so Yeah, what was your logo be really an exclamation point? And me and Kate were like, no, we have to name it LOL podcast. I'm being so chill right now.

What would the logo be?

Yeah, what was the logo?

What would your logo be?

Literally an exclamation point? That's what you said. Yeah. I did not say that. This was, no, exclamation point was your idea.

Are you kidding me? Wait, tell us Kate, tell us what happened. It was rare. What was rare? What? Um, so what happened? Are you rhyming? No, I was singing. Okay. I'm serenading you guys. You want me to sing for you? No, we don't. So what? Oh, we were just all sitting on the couch like, oh, we should start a podcast. It'd be so fun. And then we were like, what would we name our podcast? Harper. We were like, well, yeah. What would we name the podcast? Somebody threw out LOL. They're like, there's no way we can do that.

That name's already taken. Matt goes, hear me out. What about Explanation Mark? And I just-

He died on that hill.

He thought it was just the best thing since sliced bread.

He thought it was gonna be like monumental, It's all huge for the program. I really can't tell if you are. I don't know who to believe here. I really can't tell. If you're trolling me with him, that's crazy. If you actually believe that, that's even more insane.

What do you think?

No, here's the thing. Either Cash did say it and he forgot and he rage baited Kate to think this,

or you don't remember correctly, Matt. you could have easily said that? Ever since I was 8 years old I wanted a podcast and I wanted to name it LOL Podcast. Since you were 8 years old? I had a dream. That's a lie. I had a dream when I was 7. I swear. You can't say that because now I'm gonna die now. Everything you say after that statement. I swear I used to on Alex's life that that that I had a dream.

You're right.

Can I tell my story or something that was a lie that you were like,

actually going to die on Alex's life?

No, I used to.

I truly thought that I was like, I swear, mom. And then later I'd like, break. Yeah.

I tell you the truth. I'm going to die. The other podcast Maverick fought tooth and nail. I mean, just down to the wire to name an exclamation point. We're like, not any good.

Let me tell my story, though.

What's your story?

Oh, OK.

Alex, you got to do something. Shut up.

Nobody can.

I believe Mav now just because of his reaction.

Like, this is insane.

No, I actually do think Mav. He usually freaks out when he's lying, but right now he's not freaking out. So he must be a terrible liar Dang, well like when he like cheats on the Oreo thing or whatever like he's yeah

He gets better if you're like you cheated. He's like I did not cheat. I did not that's what he doesn't realize You want to know what the word on the street is? Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, thank you. Um, so I mean you say I just for the attention. No, no you hear that? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Um, so I mean, did you say that just for the attention? No, no, no She said did y'all hear that?

No, I didn't hear it.

It sounds a little wheezy. I hear like a coughing.

You need an inhaler. Thank you. Okay. Can I tell you what has freaking happened to me over the past two months? Yeah. Please. Two months? It's a long time. Over the past two months, ever since I got back from you know where, I literally have not been okay. I have not been okay. I've been sick. And everybody's pushing off. It's anxiety. It's anxiety. No, it's not anxiety!

What is it?

Anxiety may be making it worse. I'm not gonna lie. But, but, listen.

I have been sick. I have felt fatal or like faint fatal fatal wait you felt faint faint

I feel no. I was gonna faint again. Don't cut back to that

Tell us why you're coughing like that because you do sound like you have congestion

Thank you. I like it just because like there's like drainage and I Don't know what's happening though, and I talked to my mom and she won't talk to me

She's like it's anxiety and then she hung up the phone and I was like, it's not anxiety mom It's what I do you think maybe like Your body could just be like kind of out of whack though Because for the past two or three months that this has been happening, I don't think so. When you, I think that when like, you're not like sleeping, like when you're not on a healthy sleep schedule

and you're not like.

I'm on a great sleep schedule though.

That's the thing. You went to sleep at 6 p.m. last night and woke up at 2 a.m.

Okay, besides last night, but like.

Dang, she got you. You never say, it's fine, I've got this, while you're multitasking, and then immediately realize, you absolutely do not.

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QR code on screen. So next time you say I've got this maybe have Becca. Yeah yeah

yeah whatever.

But the other few nights I have been going to bed at like yeah 10 p.m.

But we get that's good

What about like like in like when you when you eat and stuff you have to have good things for your body when you eat

That's not true Pabst fasting wait, how long has he been fasting for three days? He hasn't ate anything still on three day fast Yeah, it ends tonight

Been doing is drinking bone broth, which is really good for you, by the way. I've been on it. I was on a like nine days ago. I was on a two day fast.

Hey, and I felt like I was going to die.

Yeah.

Wait, wait, what do you mean you were on a two day fast?

I didn't eat for two days.

Did you drink water. I don't it's a lie That's actually no your childhood. You'll die. We did no I've been on years of no. Oh, yeah when I was in childhood

I did one year fast where I drink soda only Yeah, no water. Well, I don't know what's wrong with me cuz also I have a lump in my throat which I don't know. Yeah globus insidus yeah we've been known. Yes I know. No that cough okay see I know you I know you're probably like. Wow I mean I fully believe it now. No I know Cash you're so. I was doubting I was I was doubting but now she's

gone. No I'm locked in. That cough actually I know that's a real cough because I've had a cough like that before and when they know what you had a cough like It's just like that area on a ground. No, it's like a little dog cough It's like, you know when honey's got something in her throat. Oh, that's not what honey sounds like Did you see what happened to us this weekend or. Oh, she got bald or something. No. Oh yeah, she went bald. This is probably the worst thing that could have happened to me this week. There, well, not the worst.

Count your blessings.

Yeah, no, not the worst thing. I mean, you know, whatever. Worst things could have happened, but this was just unfortunate.

Your grandpa died this week. Oh my goodness.

So it's this was worse than that. No, it's the second worst thing that happens.

That's gonna get clipped up.

That's the worst thing ever happened.

I just realized that.

I was a little, okay. You all see now y'all are getting me clipped. This is why I didn't want to come back on the podcast.

Okay, second worst thing under Kate's grandpa passing away.

I was, I was just, okay, forget everything. I take it back. I don't want to share my story anymore. Well, okay. So it wasn't the worst thing that happened to me this week, but it was an indecent thing or indecent or whatever you want

to call it, but it was the most dramatic thing that happened

to you this week.

I think once again, grandpa dying is pretty dramatic.

I'm pretty dramatic.

Pretty up there with the drama.

I'm saying dramatic.

Yeah, I was I was very underplaying the grandpa dying.

Yeah.

And every time I breathe in it hurts.

We're talking about her dead grandpa and you're well, I'm about to be dead Harper.

I'm not gonna lie.

Yes, I actually don't feel good.

Well, I understand. to be dead Harper. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, same. I actually don't feel good. Well...

I don't understand. So wait, okay. No, hold on. There's so many things going on. So many things going on.

Talk about your story.

Well, yeah, so my grandpa did pass away this week and I miss him dearly. Love you forever, papi. Mwah. But, um... I know, that's out of the way. Before I get onto this story, can we talk about how Maverick made fun of me for crying at my grandpa's funeral? This show is sponsored by Liquid IV.

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your first purchase with code LOL at checkout. That's 20% off your first purchase with code. Lol at checkout. That's 20% off your first purchase with code. Lol at liquid IV calm When you went up there and spoke.

What are we talking about?

Me and Mav did laugh at how you walked up, though.

Oh, yeah, I did, too.

I did.

The pastor and I did, too.

The walk up was crazy. You should have saw the heart when she walked up. They were gonna close the mic before no wait, can I please can I please do it ready ready? I'll be I'll be the the pastor here. This is exactly how everyone everyone's like I'll be like Now is the time where we are gonna accept stories and from their friends and family if anybody would like to tell their share their story

Are you Kate? I'm Kate. No, she's Kate. Me! Oh, I love my pappy!

That was me.

She did.

And she walked right up to the front like, no, it was just...

I wish that was an over-exaggeration. She walked up there with a smile on her face and she goes, so everybody, this is my pappy. And points at the freaking ashes.

I'm like, oh my god. I did not. I pointed out his picture. Me personally, I thought it was great. I thought you brought light to a dark room, Kate.

I thought it was wonderful. Me, I'll tell a story. Me!

Like she had- I got so scared that he was gonna close the mic.

How were you scared? As soon as- before the words left your mouth? I don't know if he was done even talking yet. And you're literally the immediate family. You have like first dibs. But anyway, Kate gets up there. She's like, this is my papi. Just like that with a big smile. And she goes, yeah. I was like, oh. She walked in there with so much confidence.

So much confidence.

And then I lost my confidence real quick when I realized what was happening. I was like at his funeral. It was really sad. But anyways, no, I came back and you were just like, yeah, you walked up there really confident and you just started sobbing. I was like, yeah, that happened.

Thanks. You did walk up there with mad confidence.

Did you know you were gonna go up there before the funeral? I knew probably like 15 minutes before. Okay.

You mean when he said, would anyone like to come?

Did you tell your family? Right before the funeral started, I said, I'll probably go up there, but I didn't have anything planned. Like for my grandma's funeral, I had like a whole like thing planned and I read it and I was like super good,

but this one,

I didn't have anything planned because I didn't know I was going to be allowed to talk until like right before the funeral.

So I didn't have time to like write anything out. I was like, um when I pass and it is my time or Kate told me that she's gonna pass before me and when Kate passes she said I want you to remarry yes okay I need to rest my

lungs depending on how old you are like if you're like if I died now yeah I would want you at this age to remarry but if I die when we're like 90 I would prefer for you not to remarry okay well she wants me to remarry which is an odd thing to say. Or like at 60, like don't remarry. What if I just remarry like some like 25 year old and I'm 60? I just, I say that because I don't want you to be alone.

Yeah, but anyways, I was like, okay, so you want me to remarry if you die.

Well, he has his brother.

But then she said she wants me to get buried next to her. Yes. That's what I said, I said what about one on the left one on the right and Katie didn't like that idea. No, she can like be like maybe in the same cemetery as us. I don't mean this in a weird way, like why do people care? You're dead.

What?

Oh I care about my funeral. Why do you care you're dead? Once I'm dead, why do I care at all what people do with my body?

It's not you, I'll tell you.

Like throw my body in a dumpster. I don't really care.

I know it's your family.

If I die before you.

This is what I said. I said, I don't think that's happening. If I pass anytime soon with this, I want you guys to book out. So an arena, 10,000 seats. There I want you to sell tickets to my funeral I'm not gonna see if we can sell out there's this thing on your lip for the past like week

I've seen and what is that? What is that? Let me see

Wait, let me see. Don't do it. Why are you pointing that out? Well, he's talking to you over there. I just is it my cold sore. It's it's oh, I think was food

It's been there for a week Huh? I think it was food because it's gone now

your story she's over here chat GPT and diagnosing herself oh Oh no, don't let chat diagnose you. We skipped all around the actual story you were trying to tell.

So go back to that.

Well, so the other night I was sitting on our couch and my Snapchat heard all about this. So if you've heard this story, but I gotta tell it again. The people wanna hear it. So I'm sitting on the couch, we had been at volleyball

and I left early because I was tired. No, no, finish your story about Pappy. Oh that was it? I cried at his funeral. You guys about burying Pappy? Oh no. Well that hasn't happened yet. Yeah that has. They lost his ashes. No. What? No. No, no they did. They said the funeral was like a week ago. Well yeah but then the funeral home the next day we were supposed to bury him, well, his ashes, but then they said, we don't have him. And we were like, uh, well, where is he?

And then they said, well, we just haven't cremated him yet.

Yeah.

So we can't give those to you. And then we're like, okay, well. But anyways. Yeah, so that, we're still waiting. That's still in the process. No, no, he's talking about how we gotta bury him. Pappy, Kate's great Pappy is from a small town. A very, very, very small town. Like, very small.

Like 200 people small town. Yeah. So the guy that's in charge of like the graveyard there, Kate's family went to go meet with him about burying papi in the local town graveyard there and they were like Yeah, so we could for sure make that happen. But the guy was like I am old though So I can't really dig holes anymore. He was like so you'll need to bring your shovel

He said they said bring a shovel and bring at least one or two good guys

Big the hole because the guy where you have to dig his grave for him.

Do you think they would have said that if you were digging a normal grave?

Um, it's a possibility. The grave we're having to dig is for his ashes, so we only have to dig like a foot and a half down.

Yeah, but if it was like a real, like an actual full grave. Are you putting his ashes somewhere else besides the grave too I know he wanted to be in be in his hometown then why didn't he want to be his body in the

hometown I think that's what I want you know what no actually I changed my mind I do care about my body when I die I would like you to spread my ashes on the top of Everest. You's like 80, but he looks like Ellen DeGeneres. He did!

He looks like a woman.

People oddly always tell me that.

He does look like that.

I do not look like Ellen.

But like as an 80 year old man, you looked like a woman.

Uh, yeah, it is pretty bad, I won't lie.

I don't know what that picture is and why, like what was the point of it?

Look. Like, what was the point of it? Not you with the chain on your neck. Wow, this is a fat Ellen DeGeneres. Look at that.

Oh my gosh.

You are a woman. Why are you a woman?

I am a woman.

That looks like somebody I know.

He literally said Ellen Baker. That's so funny. Yeah. But back to the story that I was originally telling. So everyone was at volleyball. I left early, I come home, I take a shower, I'm eating my Chipotle on the couch. I'm having a good day, a good night.

And Stella's in the backyard and Honey is sitting by the back door because she has a-

Did you hear about this?

No, but I don't feel good. I'm sorry, it's okay. But Stella's in the backyard, Honey's sitting by the back door. Honey doesn't like being outside but she likes being close to Stella so she sits by the door so Stella starts barking and honey starts barking inside so I'm like okay I'll let honey out so I open the back door honey runs outside and I sit back down on the

couch and about 20 seconds later I start to smell something bad I thought it was weed I was like somebody is smoking weed in our backyard right now I need to get my gun and take care of this. Oh

Okay, I think love you Kate we should take the gun away from

When I feel like my life is in danger. Yeah, but it's not that way. Someone else's wife is in danger. No, I'm just kidding.

This is a video for you to watch

after she's done with the story.

No, not her story yet.

Wait.

Her story yet.

Yeah, anyways.

So I would not have done that just in case anyone was wondering. I know my gun safety. I would not have done that, but. I feel like at the ground. I would definitely fire at the ground.

He's reaching!

You'd do what?

I'm definitely like shooting the grass to scare them off.

Maybe shoot their feet.

No.

If they're just...

If they're smoking weed in my backyard?

Just shoot them in the backyard?

Make sure you don't shoot at the concrete.

No, I'll shoot it in the grass. She shoots the backyard, that's a different story because it's your property. No, I would not shoot somebody for stoking them.

Stand my ground, mom.

No, I would say, get out of my yard. And then if they don't listen. Get out of my yard.

Imagine Kate, imagine you hear Kate say, get out of my yard. And you're just like, what? I'm imagining Kate arguing with a dude that's high in the backyard. He's like, I don't think I want to.

I'm in my backyard.

No, I think I'm going to stay right here.

Well, the point of the story is that there was no weed whatsoever. I thought it was weed for a second. And I actually was like, oh, one of our neighbors must be smoking. That's weird, because nobody around us smokes ever. And then after a second of thinking that, I'm like, oh, no.

And I go to the back door, and I just crack the door. I say, honey, come here. And honey runs up. And I so gently just touch her head, and I smell my fingers. And I just started sobbing. I walked around the house.

I was pacing, I was like, this can't be happening. This cannot be happening.

Why were you crying though?

Not tonight. Because she got sprayed.

Should we play the phone call?

By Scott.

Yeah, yeah, play the phone call.

This is a good time to play the phone call.

Yeah, yeah, play the phone call. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Just know that I paced around the kitchen 911 right now. I need y'all's help. I call cash multiple times. I call Kinsey. I call Mav. I called Pape. I called everybody. We're all playing volleyball. They're all playing volleyball, so none of them have their phones on. And I have a confession before this phone call, I did see her call me the first time, but I didn't pick it up because we were mid-game.

And I was like, I'll of our windows smell like house smoke.

So now you smell like skunk? Yeah.

That's not good.

I heard tomato sauce helps.

I'm being serious.

Have you tried tomato sauce?

I'm actually not trolling.

I heard tomato sauce helps.

Wait, have you tried a shower?

No, it's a myth have you tried a shower? It's a myth? Wait, wait, so what happened? I was just sitting on the couch and I smelled it.

I didn't smell like what I smelled like I was spraying last time. So I opened the back door and I called honey over and she came over and I touched her head and it smelled like it. And I was stuck on my fingers and it stuck on my nose.

My mom smells like it because I just opened the door.

It's on your nose?

Yes, because my finger touched my nose.

I think we're going to have to kill the dogs.

No, I'm sorry. I'll be honest. You should put your nose in some tomato juice ASAP.

No, no, no. If we came home and she was just facedown

in a bowl of tomato sauce.

We're coming, OK?

Listen, just no matter what.

What are we going to do when you get here?

No matter what. they really played around.

I think I'll

listen. We're going to have to shoot up.

We're going to we're going to have to use the dog

and your nose and your nose.

You have to take it.

What are we going to do when you get here?

Because we can't just go back there and spread it.

And the smell is going to get all over us.

It's OK.

Step number one is I'm buying nose plugs on the way home.

And tomato sauce.

It's OK.

Why are you crying about it?

Because we're going to be out for like six hours trying to get the smell out.

And I just want to go to bed. Yeah, no, I...

Listen...

This is a long thumbnail.

No, it's gonna be bad, babe, but we'll get it. We'll get it out.

Alright, we're just gonna play one more game of volleyball.

Yes. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

We're coming home.

He wasn't kidding, he wasn't.

He wanted to play. Wait till the end. We're coming home.

We're gonna finish right there.

All right, I love you.

I'm gonna kiss her off. All right, bye. I smell like a skunk, I can't breathe, I can't. I smell like a skunk and I need to get spread. I can't get spread. It hurts. I smell like it. I can't breathe.

She didn't even know we were filming. This is like her real actual reaction.

Okay, well we're coming over.

Okay. Just don't freak out. her real, actual reaction. OK, well, we're coming over.

Just don't freak out.

All right, do not freak out.

Don't freak out.

OK, all right, we're coming over.

Wait, what's the score for our game? All right, bye, I love you. OK, let's play one more game.

One more game. I love that.

I have to say one more game. That was a long phone call, man. That was. How long was it?

I mean, you were crying.

All I could see was Cash's nails. Three and a half minutes.

My nails?

Oh my gosh.

What about them?

Like, what's wrong with me?

Do you hear this?

Yeah.

I actually, I'm confused.

Sorry, explain.

Yeah, explain. Anyways, go ahead. So then, um, Cash stopped at Panda Express on the way home. Yeah.

He stopped at Panda?

Yeah.

He didn't even come all the way home. He just went to Panda Express. And then he comes home.

I needed a cream cheese raccoon.

Me and Nav had a full-blown argument while you were at Panda. Also, cream cheese raccoons are my favorite food ever. Oh my gosh. So, cream cheese ragout are my favorite food ever. If you guys are coming to any future shows, tour stops, anything in the future, and if you bring me a warm cream cheese ragout.

We'll follow you on Instagram.

I'll do anything.

I'll do anything.

Don't say that.

No, I won't do anything, but I will eat it. I will eat the cream cheese ragout.

Say you'll follow you on Instagram. I mean Back step just a second to what you just said Kenzie

Cash is getting a cream cheese Rangoon and you said you and maver having an argument in the car. Oh a big one Oh wait on the way home from time

Big yeah, I'm driving the car And he's like do not stop at Walmart. And I was like, I need to get stuff to clean the dogs. And he was like, do not stop at Walmart. Why?

Why not stop at Walmart?

Wait, yeah, what was it?

He does not like Walmart.

No, he wanted to go home. meanwhile cash is getting a cream rag yeah I'll take only one of these cheese three cutbacks anyone to me you and my kids you don't stop we gotta go straight over to my last like 15 minutes first he tries to take the steering wheel from me

and he's a go home and I was like I'm going to take the wheel that's crazy

genuinely pause Kinsey what was your plan when she got home because there was

nothing here to clean them with well see I didn't know that she just said that she wanted gloves that went up to her elbows because the gloves we had at the house weren't good enough.

Oh, she's been getting in it.

And so I said, the gloves we have at the house are fine. I'll wash the dog. It's fine. Just go home. I'll use those gloves. And she was like, no, no, and you don't understand. Yeah, the struggle I went through last time

when Stella got sprayed, I had to sleep for a month think about this with gloves on my hands.

Cash and I handled the dogs this time. Yeah, very smoothly.

I said, listen, here's what's gonna happen.

Guess what? They don't smell bad. Yeah, and no work was done on my part. All I did was a phone call. I said, listen, here's what's gonna happen. We're gonna put some like little deodorant stuff on him, right, give him a little quick, simple bath.

Then we're gonna put him in a crate in the garage. Then we're gonna take him to a professional dog cleaner in the morning and it'll be all good. And we did that and it was all good. Yeah. And I still gotta go to bed and watch these games.

Whatever. Walmart and he said, Uber home. What? I said, listen, if you want to go to Walmart, I said, if you want to go to Walmart,

you'll stop at Walmart and you can Uber home. And by the time you get home, I already have the dog clean.

But you had nothing to clean the dog with. There was gloves here. Yes, there was. No cleaning products.

That's fair. I even told her after, I said't want to stop for just the gloves I just didn't want to stop for the gloves when we had

gloves here I was like okay so continue he realized he was being mean and I went inside and got gloves and he did not make me over home but then we had a conversation in the car about how I didn't stop be controlling and maybe

that's true and then I got home and then I started controlling him again and now it's not good either okay we did walk around and I said listen

we're gonna go inside thank you for everything you've done now I'm gonna go clean the dogs please just don't try to sit there and tell me

how to do everything my mom's not letting me get an x-ray on my lungs or my chest yeah probably cuz you don't need that

well I've had globalitis yeah well what chest? Yeah, probably because you don't need that. Well, I've had global eye dissensation. Yeah, well, an x-ray doesn't fix that.

You know what you need? Advil. Advil? No, or Tylenol. Maybe, maybe not. That Tylenol will make you funny. Here, can you can you just breathe through your mouth real quick? You really shouldn't do that. Close your mouth when you're breathing. Breathe through your nose.

Okay.

My every time I can't tell someone to breathe and put your hands up. No.

Breathe and put your hands behind your head and then like breathe.

You got to take a deep breath in you gotta hold it blink no

then you gotta hold it yeah hold it now blink really fast now say I'm an idiot

but what's it called now the kids back on the pod how is it feeling pretty good I mean I feel good oh did I say look this is my new basketball I got for my birthday happy birthday yeah when this episode comes out my birthday birthday oh my birthday's gonna be gone by the time this episode comes out my birthday's in like a week March 5th say happy birthday yeah this episode is filmed heavy in advance cuz we're gonna

be gone we're gonna be gone what we start dating on Cash's birthday? No.

The day before?

Uh, the day before, yes.

Have y'all been married for a year?

A year and a half.

Wow!

Yeah.

I didn't even know.

That's crazy, right?

Um, well, Cash got this, you see, can you get that orange ball real quick? Okay, so there's an orange ball over there so that looks very similar to this ball see and I have I just have to say something real quick that orange ball has been in our house for a lot of years now and it was probably close to the time I'm and Kinsey like got married or something but you guys kept playing with that ball like Like you played with it so much.

You were throwing it against the walls. You were throwing it down the stairs. Like you were going to break something and it was annoying. Just constantly hearing a ball being thrown against the wall. So me and Kenzie took matters into our own hands

and we hid the ball and we were like, they're not going to find it. Yeah. And then somehow. somehow been gone for a year somehow this one for my birthday it got pulled out of the freaking I don't even know the abyss cuz I don't even remember where we put it either and it just showed up again this time he's someone

found your height wasn't a very good hiding yes showed up this week and I've

been loving a good hiding spot has been a year since y'all had it like well over

a year did you hide it I don't remember it just showed up because you should hide in there again, but this is my new bad girl got it for my birthday I have something to say I'm getting I'm getting if you say you're getting an x-ray. I'm getting my belly button pierced Oh, you don't do that. That's trashy. I don't care. No you don't want to be trash. I don't care I don't think it's trashy, but I'm Bentley no Do you want to be I'm a teenager a

2001 Honda Civic?

I'm getting it because somebody said it looked good.

Do not call people a 2001 Honda Civics with belly button piercing.

By the way, those are good cars. Definitely ain't a Bentley with a... Do you see Bentleys?

You want to know who said it looked good?

Who?

Why are you talking to him?

Why do you care what he says?

Oh my gosh. I feel left out because I was on this side of the hand Wait, did y'all see that? Yeah You're not you're not actually talking no, are you talking to him like lightly texting?

No, you are not! Yes I am. Harper is texting someone!

This is y'alls fault!

What?

Can I just say one thing? The belly button piercing, if you want, just because I literally, I had a friend who went and got one for a guy. We're just joking when we say they're trashy. No, no, no, I'm telling you this Harper. She got it for a guy that's she went she got one because the guy said that he he would like it so she went and got one i don't even think she necessarily cared to get one but she got one because he said he'd like

it and then they just literally broke up and she was just stuck with this piercing that's cool kate but did you hear what she said i know i'm just trying to tell you don't go get one for a guy don't do that for a man i'm not i've been wanting one for like the past like two years. I'm moving on past the belly button thing. Did y'all not hear what she said? I did and I'm in shock. How did this happen? Cuz why why are we? Why are we talking about? Piercings in your body with this guy. Yeah, why is he talking about your body?

I said I wanted to get one and he was like, oh that that would actually look really good on you

Well, he shouldn't be seen Why is he seeing your belly button You said you did not like him at all. He said I know but I I always tend to say that Even when you slightly like somebody yeah, and she tends to say she likes somebody when she doesn't for real are you for real but i saw kate's side of the hand i told wait did you not see his face when i i like did it so you can see can we can we say it no i don't think we should no i might say it no should i kept you on the other side of the hand here's what i'm thinking right now

is one this episode comes out in like a couple of weeks. So I could say it.

And I probably won't.

And by then it's okay, cause maybe it's moved past talking. Okay. Now if I say it and it has moved the opposite way, less talking, that's going to be really bad. So do we want to take that gamble, Cash? Let's get back to Harper. Let's see what she thinks. Harper, will you say his name on the podcast?

I won't say it.

I'll say what it starts with.

I'll say it.

No, don't say that.

Don't say it.

Man, I'm in shock.

What do you mean by talking?

Let's do it, listen.

Did you almost just throw up?

No, I almost said his name. Because my lungs hurt. Hey, what do you mean by talking? Like talking like isn't like a friend. Yeah, I would like to I have a crush on him

I don't know if he has a girl so no

No Something's fishy what?

You love is me

Since when

Since like he left and I was like like I don't like him at all.

I don't buy this. I don't buy this at all.

I think you may have just told everyone who it was though.

I think you did.

Like the internet?

Yeah.

Yeah.

How?

How?

Maybe we shouldn't point it out. You said one sentence.

Well don't explain it for everyone. Don't explain it for everyone.

Oh okay. Hold on, should we bleep the name? She's acting like Jim on Beast Games.

She never said the name.

She is! You are acting like Jim on Beast Games.

I mean, it is Blair. Otherwise it would say 500,000.

Come on, just say Harvest Day. I have a crush on...

That is so funny. Ugh, fine. Learn from our mistakes. Learn from our mistakes. Don't put your relationship on the internet until it is for sure.

I put you on the internet after like talking to you for like a week. Yeah.

Kate, I linked a video.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, I did.

No, you didn't.

I was talking about you on this podcast. When Kenzie gets mad on the internet until after Kenzie knew it was for sure. Yeah, but I was talking about it.

Well, that's your own fault.

But it worked out. Well, when me and Kate started dating, we took a video. We were just cuddling on the couch and she took a video of us. That was bad. I remember that. She posted it to my Snapchat.

It's so bad.

And I'm pretty sure it was on purpose.

No!

But to this day, she still says it was an accident.

I literally, I put it on every single thing. You want to know why it was an accident? Because I did not want to have to loser making TikToks. Sorry. It's okay.

Don't buy it.

There was a bunch of girls that all made Cash's girlfriend and you posted.

I just don't understand your perspective on that.

Harper, I know you don't feel good, but we have so much going on right now. One, you're crushing on blank, which I would love to say blank's name.

Two.

Fine, I have a crush on Kato. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, why'd you say it? Why'd you say it? Why'd you say it? Believe it.

Don't believe that.

Why did you say it?

Believe it.

What?

Put the fuzzy over her mouth.

Wait, I was so shocked.

I just like, my brain started replaying the word what.

It's not real.

I couldn't even speak.

None of this is real right now. What? Uh, yeah, it's real. Big news! Big news for the unemployed, I'll tell you that!

Huge news for the unemployed, and we are all unemployed, so... So this is breaking news for us! I would make it a bigger deal, but I just feel sick. Well, um, so...

Sis wins!

Does he know you like him?

No, no, no, sis wins! Yeah.

Does he like you?

Yeah. Does he like you? Yeah.

I think I should go through y'all's messages and read them aloud.

Okay, go ahead.

Wait, no, actually, she'll let us. We should, that's funny.

Pass it around for the class.

Man.

Pass it around.

Wow, I did not see this coming today.

I had no idea. I thought she, there's a lot of things. Y'all text a lot. How much are we talking?

How much are we talking?

A lot.

Can we see it?

No. Why?

It's really weird.

Can we see it after the podcast?

Yeah.

Oh my, oh my. Does he know you're just name dropping like that? No. With him not even here? I don't think he would mind. Did you see him on the podcast? No, I didn't I wasn't here. Remember? Wait a second. Yeah, you were wait

Wait a second. Wait a second

Does he not have?

Spit it out girlfriend. No No. I don't think so. Well, if he does, I don't care. Harper, you can't say things like that!

Yeah, I like it! Be ruthless!

They're dating, not married. You can't say anything like that.

Wait, no, he doesn't have a girlfriend. Are you sure?

He doesn't have a girlfriend.

From what I have heard, what you guys said, if he has a girlfriend, then the way he was acting on this podcast, surely they're not still together from what you guys said.

No, I don't know.

Oh yeah.

No, that man does not have a girlfriend.

Kato does not have a girlfriend.

I don't know.

Let me look.

Sounds like Kato wants a girlfriend.

Oh.

Kato.

My throat actually hurts.

Well, I still don't believe it. So wait, wait, wait. Can you just like break down how this came about though? Like how, I'll just ask him like how often were you guys talking? Um, every day. Did you have a girl? Did you tell him that you like him? Uh, yes. And he said he liked you too. Are you guys going to date? I don't know.

It's not real. It can't be. It is. All right. Asked me as a girlfriend and I did it from your account, Harper.

What? Yeah. I'm logged in.

Access to her account on your phone.

Yeah. I'm logged into yours.

Look at her freaking out.

I thought he actually did. It scared me, but I don't feel good.

Like we were logged into your Tik TOK at one point. I remember that. Really? When you first started, Cash and I were for some reason. You'll help me out.

Wait, can you just tell me if you're being serious right now?

Yes, I am.

Really?

Oh my gosh.

I actually, I think he's a good kid.

Good guy.

He seems sweet.

He is nice.

Like of dudes you've talked to? Actually, that's true. you're up right now trust yeah he's definitely like one of the better ones I guess we don't really know him though yeah we didn't really know him that long but no I hardly knew him I hung out with him enough to know like he's not like I feel like well actually we knew him I met him remember we filmed that one episode back in like June we were out in LA and he called you cat yeah or October whenever it was he like didn't he was

like cat and then he called you McKenzie and stuff So it was a little weird Yeah, but the four of us have come a long way. Okay, but like Like we've we've sat down in conversations with him because kate wasn't here. Thank you for the reminder. Sorry I just like don't know what to do Don't know what to do. I just feel so sick and I don't think i'm gonna be better until he comes down and sees me next week. Oh my gosh. Until he comes down and sees me next week.

He's not gonna be next week.

Yes, he is.

I need to see some receipts.

I don't believe that.

I actually don't know how I feel about this. I have a screenshot of it. I'm just in shock.

I was not prepared to hear this news today. I'm I don't know what to think of this yeah I don't buy it so you're getting a belly button piercing yeah because of him no not because of him oh wait you're reading his message I don't believe what okay okay let us see it stop hogging it yeah he's gay I can't believe Harper's being very open. I'm still looking at the other messages. Hey, let us see it.

Wow.

Harper's.

You guys talk a lot about nothing.

Geez.

I mean, literally these conversations are so brain rot.

Why are you gatekeeping your phone? Harper, take the phone.

These are the most brain rot conversations. No, because they're going to judge him for the one. They're going to judge him for the one time. No, we won't. Oh, judge. He doesn't need to judge.

He's not even judged.

What did he say? He didn't say anything bad.

It's nothing bad.

What are you saying?

Kato said nothing bad.

Nothing bad.

It cannot be worse than what Cash said to Kate.

OK, hey, I was like 14. Can I see it please? Maverick said no. I'm going to see it after the podcast either way. Oh no.

Don't show them that.

Don't show them that.

Not yet? No, don't show them that.

Can I show them after the podcast?

No, I just know they're going to be like, eww.

They're just going to be like eww. Eww.

Gross.

Eww.

Gross. is catastrophic he said it's a prank it's not like you know I don't like him I made it all up it was her no look why would you do that you got me all like excited no I'm not excited for three snaps why'd you leave it on delivered I should probably wait you haven't opened it she doesn't even open his messages in

three minutes it's okay it was just pictures of a ceiling Wait, so you haven't talked to him at all? No

I'd be going for a wait. So since he left the podcast you have not spoken to him No, well, I feel let down. No, why did you say that? I was pranking y'all. I was pranking y'all. I think she was mimicking you. Shut up. Well, I fully believe that.

You got me.

She was mocking you.

I don't think so. I was pranking y'all.

No, it's because I feel sick and I can't talk.

And that's OK.

Can we talk about that? Let's give you the attention you want for a second.

I'm serious. Explain to me why you're sick and what's happened? Um for the past three months I have been sick and I've had a lump in my throat and I feel tired and my neck is super stiff. I Don't know what it is. Yeah, I went to the doctor. I got my blood tested. Um, all they said is I'm close to having diabetes

Hey, you're close

Harper you are close to having diabetes close to being pre-diabetic. Oh my gosh. That's like my biggest fear You know if you do that you can't have sugar no more Yeah, yeah, or you know, it's pretty much like a nerf if they pretty much say pretty much God has said hey I'm gonna give you sugar, but if you abuse it and you eat too much of it, then you're gonna get the same- It's not that. It's called diabetes where you can't eat it anymore ever. I don't think that's how that works.

It's because my body can't break it down easily.

It's in my genetics.

Yeah.

Mm.

Yeah, that's what I tell myself too.

My body doesn't normally break down cookies and cake either.

It's kind of odd. Wait, so what did the doctor say aside from you being pre-diabetic? Why did you smile like that?

Me? Him. It's because of my underbite.

My smile looks goofy because of my underbite.

No, you're smiling.

No, it was bigger.

It was like, mmm.

Yeah, none of those grandpas at the nursing home. Let me see.

Let me see.

Mmm. said that I did have an illness at the beginning of or the end of December when I got back. Okay. And what do you have? I don't know. They said it was like a virus of some sort. And they're like, it should have gone away by now. So this is weird that she's still feeling

that it's anxiety. It's not anxiety you went on a run.

Yes. She's gone to run. She, she went half a mile. That's as far as I can see to the next McDonald's.

Half a mile is about.

Okay. Were you running to McDonald's? I want to just say half a mile is about when you have to park in the back.

I don't know if I should, uh, okay. I don't know if I should like, should I actually read the text her mom sent on the podcast? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was fine. Okay. So this is funny because I took a screenshot, you guys can pop it up, but it says cash and Brahman Zilmer. is a text from Harper. So the text from your mom said, wait, first read Harper's text. Her mom texts me at 336. Just an FYI, this is the current situation. Harper is saying she has

pneumonia and an upper reciprocatory infection because she ran half a mile at school in the cold and I'm sure it made her lungs and throat hurt since she never runs. She is now having a full on panic attack and is saying she is going to take herself to the hospital. This all may resolve itself in the next 30 minutes, but I don't know if she'll be at the podcast at four. And then three minutes later-

Were you actually thinking about going to the hospital?

Yeah, I was hurting.

Wait, wait, wait, listen, three minutes later.

Three minutes later, Harper sends me a text. Are you guys ready to film? It's because the thing is my mom doesn't take me seriously. I will die in the next year. No No, I no no it's not because of like suicide or anything. I literally that's it. I think I'm that sick

I don't think I think you are I think you do have like like Abigail that this works here She's she's had a cough for three months. Yeah, okay? It's not sometimes I'm saying you get like oh yeah, yeah, I've been reason I've been wheezing now for like a year No, it's real no, that's real that's real. Oh my god, man. You look like a dragon That's like only one years old trying to learn to breathe fire. No

Gonna get my spark and we added you bring your neck down like that like your body stayed up at your neck And I have that thing that is funny because I do I do walk two miles a day and I run one of the miles on the treadmill so yeah

that means you walked one and ran one and so that really makes me like anyways your mom might have just been confused she was worried about you though hey it does hurt your lungs like your lungs burn yeah when you run outside in the cold versus on a treadmill. Yeah, you guys hear me? Yes, Josh. Yes. No one's concerned. That's real

Everyone does that

Well, y'all just sound Vegas crap No y'all you can tell you tell y'all's throat clear See, that's what a healthy throat sounds like. Mine? Oh, jeez.

See, Mav can convince us he's dying with that.

Mav, stop. You're going to actually stop.

See, Mav, if you were to just do that, we would all be really concerned.

Wait.

I thought you were dying.

Ready?

You're having a heart attack.

Oh, look at the smile.

Why is he so proud of himself after? I'm an actor. Yeah, you need a sick person and like the next, uh, what is that called? Grey's anatomy.

Oh, I'll be a sick person.

Oh my gosh.

Did you see that McSteamy die?

McDreamy?

What?

McDonald's cousin?

Who's that?

He's McDreamy.

He's McSteamy.

McSteamy.

McSteamy. It's actually it's actually really sad

Yeah, yeah, he was so Grey's Anatomy. There was two

Very attractive doctors, and they were nicknamed and wait you girls call them McSteamy and McDreamy No, that was their name on the show. Whoa. What do you mean very attractive dot?

They were just like the very attractive doctors in the show

I don't like where this is going Oh yeah, But if I say, yeah. So there's these two very attractive girls in the show, right? One is called.

You have to understand that they were attractive, and that's why they were nicknamed this.

I just feel like if we described it that way, we'd be in trouble. That's all I'm saying. There's the very attractive girl, Megan Fox. Look at her face, look at that, look at that! See, the double standard, man. It's crazy.

There is some double standards.

Oh, let me just tell you about double standards because y'all believe wholeheartedly in a double standard.

Yeah, y'all do.

When? What, what double standard?

I don't know which one you're talking about, but I do.

You believe in every double standard there possibly could be. that the girls should stay in the kitchen and like follow and learn directions on how to cook and stuff and the men are allowed to do whatever the heck they want to do outside.

Uh, yeah. I mean, I don't really care if they stay in the kitchen.

And you truly believe that your boys can like go out on a date and not call for hours and do whatever they need to do but the girl, they're not dating until they're 17 years old.

Yeah, that's full. I mean, I think everyone agrees to that. I do feel like a 16-year-old girl out on the streets alone is more of a target than a 16-year-old boy. Yeah, I get it.

In this day and age, incorrect.

Not every case, but in majority of the time.

What are you saying?

You would care about both of them equally? Don't pull that crap. Look, let me say. in that crowd. I love all my kids equally. No you don't. No you don't. No you don't. You as a parent may love all your kids equally. Like there's a lot of things I love equally, but I do have a favorite to hang out with. Like I love a lot of my friends equally. That's different. But I got some that I'd much rather hang out with. Hey my only double standard is this,

and that's just because how I was raised. my sister made cinnamon rolls and I ate the cinnamon rolls Cinnamon yeah, so that's all I ask That's it is you want cinnamon rolls or cream cheese ragoons. You know what that's a good time to end You guys should go make cinnamon. Yeah

Don't I got you Yeah! What the? Whoosh! Whoosh! What the? Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Don't worry, I got you too, Katie.

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Stop.

Come back, salmon and roe!

Whoosh!

Whoosh! Whoosh!

Whoosh!