Harper Went To Court!

I went to court.What?I spent a day in the courtroom, not 40 days, but I did.What?

You did not go to court.

Swear.Swear.I have a photo.

But yeah, you went to court and you got a photo.What?You were just in front of the judge like, can we take a quick pic real quick?Is this your first time in court?

Oh.Wait, what?Why were you in court?

That's crazy, Harper.Wait, you are at court.

Wait, you actually went to court?Wait, did you go to court for Natalie?Well, um.What were you filing at the courthouse?

Um.

Did it have to do with Natalie?

Alright, what's up guys welcome back?We have a contest me maverick are entering and we're trying to convince Kinsey to enter it as well I will enter and I'll bring my boyfriend we do it.

Oh Maybe your boyfriend will do it cuz it's not just kind of chicken just said I'm not going to bring him on the internet this time.I don't need to do that.

No, I'm not.But I'll bring him to a thing of...

Listen, I want you to know, I will buy...No, I'm kidding.

He's not my boyfriend.I don't have a boyfriend, and I probably never will.

Okay, well, just so y 'all know what we're talking about, it's a Barbie Jeep competition where you race down a giant hill.Wait, we'll pop up the videos for you guys.But I will get your boyfriend a Barbie Jeep.

It's not my boyfriend.

I will get the guy you're talking to a Barbie Jeep.to go down the hill.

He can't go down the hill.

What do you mean?

You have to be over 18.

So I can't do that?

Probably not.Maybe not.

Well, I'm basically 18.We'll tell him that.

She's basically 18.

She's basically an adult.

And the winner gets $5 ,000 if you win this competition.So whoever goes down the hill the fastest wins five grand.

Wait, I have a question.Let's do a game where we all go around the circle being like, what would your name be if you weren't your name?Kenzie would be Rebecca.What the?

Oh, I see that.

I see that yeah Kate would be it like a Sam Kate is literally are y 'all all in agreeance for Rebecca?Yeah, it's no Do Kenzie so what's your thing for Kenzie?

Oh my gosh?I just saw what Kate's is no no no you have to do Kenzie's yeah, Kenzie's is like a Could be a Rachel.

Rachel.

Rebecca and Rachel.Yeah.Kate's is really scary.No, we have to all go around.

You can't do it yet.Mine is Rachel.Rebecca, what's yours for Kenzie?

Oh, well, mine is Rachel.

Yeah.

I'm going to go.

Why the R's?Rachel.

Randy.

Oh my gosh, I thought of the funniest uncle name for Cash the other day.What?Because he keeps calling me Kin Kin.He can be Caw Caw.Like poop.

Okay, don't ever say that again.

C -A -C -A.Caw Caw.I'm going to start saying that.

That sounds like one of those weird grandma names where it's like, this is my Caw Caw.This is my G -Maw.My Caw Caw G -Maw.

No, Kenzie's, there's only one right answer for me to say and that's McKenzie.

Yeah, I was gonna be named McKenzie.

I've always thought her name was that.I'm pretty sure your contact in my phone is still McKenzie.

The bold names, like the bold names.Yeah, McKenzie is definitely.

Kate, what about you for McKenzie?Oh, McKenzie.Okay, Kate, you can't copy me.

Oh, I have to come up with another one?You're really excited.When you look at her, when you look at her, what do you think?You know why my parents didn't name me McKenzie?Because of barbecue?Yeah, did I ever say that?

Kate's name.There's only one name for Kate when I look at what I'm gonna give you like a Shelby Shelby.

Yeah.

Oh, I like that one Regina and I just think This is all I can think of.This is the first one that comes to mind.No, it's not.It's Miranda.That's me.No, no That's me. I think it's like a Tatum

Why are you staring at me like that?

Tatum.

Tatum.

Miranda's a good name.Tatum?

Yeah, I see Tatum.Cause yeah, she looks like a Tatum.

I'm going to go Kelsey.

Like what?Kelsey's pretty good.I was going to be a Kelly.

Ooh.Yeah, I see being Kelly.I see Kenzie being Kelly.Kenzie?

I was going to say like an Ashley.

You don't want to be a Kelly.

Ooh, Ashley.

Ashley, yeah.Actually, it also works with Kate.That's a terrible name.But have you ever heard the serial, uh, is it called Big K?What's it called?Circle K?

Special K?Special K, yeah.Every kiss begins with K. You're Special K. That's a terrible name.

Just K. K. KK.

JK.Or like MK?

Oh, you could be KK.Mm -hmm, I see it.

Okay, now I'll cash.I'm gonna go first.

My time to shine, everybody!

Ryan.Oh, I was gonna say that!I was gonna say that!

Ryan?You could be a Ryan.

Henry.Henry.Yeah, I see that.

Is that because I'm as attractive as Ryan Trahan?

No, I think you're like a Willie or a Wilson.

Right before Maverick and I started dating, the four of us, Cash, Kate, Mav, and I went on a ski trip to Montana.Fresh snow, no schedules, just a small group getaway to hit the slopes and unwind.

We booked a cozy cabin through Airbnb with plenty of space, a full kitchen, and even a hot tub.After a long day of skiing, it was perfect for relaxing, making dinner together, and just laughing about who wiped out hardest on the mountain.

I'm not going to lie.Honestly, the hot tub was basically the most important.

A hot tub sounds great and all, but if there's not a nice comfortable bed, I'm out.I need all the sleep I can get.

Hot tub aside and with plenty of cozy beds for everyone, that weekend ended up being really special for me. I got to know Cash and Kate better and it's also where Maverick and I really started connecting.We cooked meals together, played card games by the fire,and roasted marshmallows outside before sunset.Booking a cabin through Airbnb made it easy.Everyone had space to do their own thing, but we could also hang out, share meals, and just enjoy the trip.

It really felt like our own little mountain retreat where we could relax, laugh, and make memories that lasted long after we left.

Airbnb makes it simple to find homes that turn a trip into something truly memorable, no matter who you're traveling with.Ben.

Like Mater or something.

Ben.Mater.I'm not gonna lie.If they would have named me Mater, I think that would have been pretty funny.He is all I didn't like.Hi, I'm Mater.

Ben, Ryan.

Wait, what did you say, Ryan?Ryan.Ben.

What did you say?Willie.Willie.Yeah, you have all the normal names.You get all basic boy names.

Will, Ryan.Wait, is Mater, has you guys ever met anyone named Mater or is that just from Cars?Just from Cars.

I think it's just from Cars.I'm naming my kid, can we name our son Mater?

His name is Toe Mater.Yeah, it's Toe Mater.Toe Mater?Toe Mater.Y 'all can call him Matt.Like Toe Mater, but Toe Mater.

Can we name our kid Mater?

Nope, that seems insulting.

He's gonna be my Sally.

Our kids are gonna watch this back one day and our son's gonna be like, thank you, Mom, for not letting me be Mater.I don't know, I genuinely stand by it.

Will you let the kids watch the pod?No, it's too inappropriate.

We're gonna sign for when they're old enough to watch stuff, yeah?Yeah.

Yeah.Alright, Harper's turn.

Skye.No Well, yeah, Harley, that's a good name.Oh cuz I'm yeah, no, yeah, you actually have to like do it like Like look at me and be like, what would she be named my scarlet?I see scarlet.Okay.

Okay.

Anyone else want to go don't everyone talk at once now Like Claire

Claire.I see an S name.Samantha?No, no, no.No, not Samantha.

Someone out there, Samantha, just watch that.I want y 'all to really think about that.

It's not a bad name, I'm just saying she doesn't look like a Samantha.

I saw Harper's reaction, she's like...

Maybe like a Slytherin?Slytherin?Um, no.

I think there's only one name for you.

Guy.

Fiona.

I feel like you have, like, You need like a superhuman name.

No, you look like a Fiona.

Yeah.I was on a meal yesterday and somebody said you look like Fiona from Shrek.

Oh, but the but the before, right?Oh, no.

So rude.I still and then they call me the ugly Smurf in the Smurfs movie.How does that happen?

How does that happen?I don't know why.All right.What's Maz?

Mike.

Mike?

Yeah.

Mike.Yeah.

Mikey.

Michael.

Michael.I think Rick.

Michael.

Cold sore.

That's not, that's not a real name.I don't think you can put that on a birth certificate and I won't be.

What's your, what's your name?

Or maybe Brayden?Brayden.Yeah.Yeah.Brayden tries to get approval.Brayden.

Yeah.No, no.It's Mike.Mike.He needs a cool name.

Yeah.

No, I don't think so.Yeah, I do.

No, it's nothing like Mike or Brayden.You actually are just James.Like, I know that's your real name, but like, James.

Cash is digging deep here.I am.I've never seen you in this deep thought.Dylan.

Yes.

Yeah.He's a Dylan.

He's a Mike before he's a Dylan.

Hey, I'll take Dylan.

Every name that Cash has said is somebody he knows.You can't think of original ideas.

I mean, obviously, I just think of people I know.What are my cousins names?

You're going to look at Matt and say he looks like a pape.

A pape?No, no one really looks like a pape.

Except for Pape.Pape looks like a Pape.Yeah, Pape is the only guy that looks like a Pape.

you're like you'd be a Noah yeah, oh you'd be a good Noah does that offend you Noah yes Man you know what I think we should all do or you'd be like an elf.

I think we should all We should all draw what I'm gonna draw okay, or Peter Peter Peter Stop.

What's the next line?China.Okay.

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com in a two -seater you'll never find her i don't even really remember that song i i y 'all played it for me but storyline behind the song that we it's really irrelevant to this podcast yeah sorry uh wait i don't know what it says in the middle hi my name is don't think about too much i went to the about kidnapping and everything it's bad it's bad it's bad it's hot there's a whole thing i i showed it to my mom one time she was really disappointed in me yeah yeah all right go ahead what do you want to draw wait i think we should no go ahead everybody pause pause what you're gonna have to cut this part out oh no he oh he's not gonna see it we changed his name who don't worry about it okay okay what i'm gonna draw you don't need to know anything wait can we do the pause challenge three two one pause and talk Cash is moving so much.

He's swaying back and forth like it's hard to balance in a chair.

I was looking.Have you ever seen the Toy Story Challenge?

Did he bring that for me to draw?Yeah, why did Pape just bring that up here?

I think he brought it for me to draw, but the thing is, um, I meant draw names.So that doesn't really work.Um, but I think we should draw names to see.Oh, you would like draw out of a hat.

That was like really sweet of Pape though.

That was, that was nice Pape.We should draw names to see who goes down the hill and we should all, we should just, you know, yeah the barbie g pill yeah i'm not 18 yeah but you can still send it she's only 14 that's so crazy that's crazy you're gonna be 18 that's gonna be four years ago what i want to see you do the toy story challenge have you seen it what's the toy story challenge

challenge?Oh, yeah, Andy's home.

No.Yeah, Andy's coming.Yeah.

Are you talking about the old one?

No, okay.That's the new one too.

People are doing it now.

People do it, but I don't think they say Andy's coming out.I think they just fall like a toy.

Yeah, and you have to say a stupid.Oh, no.

No, sorry.The old one was Andy's coming and everybody freezes.Yeah.

This one falls and he's coming everybody would fall.Yeah, but this one you'd stay straight This one you're supposed to yell it.

You're supposed to be like a boy.

Whoever does whoever does does it will win I'm feeling like Harper Kenzie's gonna win cuz they're lower to the ground.

Oh, Kenzie's got a Gymnast girl that does it?Yeah The blonde girl yo pop up the video of her doing it.

That's what it's supposed to look like just so y 'all know All right, Kenzie.Let's see it first.I feel like I'm the grand finale.Okay, man.

No you go Okay, we should have to do something and then you guys yell Andy's coming.

You have to be as stiff as a board.Okay.

Okay, what should we do?Uh, you be um...

Math's the third lowest to the ground, so...What if we randomly do it throughout the podcast?Because you're pretty short.Five different times.

Okay.

So we should just say, you don't know when it's gonna happen.We should do it from post.

I don't think anyone's gonna fall because we're just sitting in our chairs.

Yeah, you're right.That was a dumb idea.

Okay, I'll go first.

No, uh, I think Kate is taller than Math.

Look, she can't help it.She really wants to go.

Well, because y 'all are just taking forever.

Alright, go ahead Kenzie.Yeah, she brought it up, and then she's like no, I'm the grand finale.She's like, I'll go now.

Okay, y 'all I'm just gonna walk around and do something.Have you practiced this or something?No.Okay.Y 'all gonna tell me when to fall.

Alright.We'll say Andy's coming and you fall.

You're very low to the ground.

Andy's coming.Wait, wait, wait, wait.Camera.Okay, do it one more time.Yeah, just do it one more time, but come over here and do it.You can do it.

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com slash lol.Okay, Andy's coming.Okay.You got it.

You got it.You got it.We'll try again.

Okay, Andy's coming.

You are like a little toy.How are they doing it?

Why did I just say that?Somebody else try.

I think you are like a little toy.

You're so small.Matt, you guys are so small.OK, but you got to do it right here.

OK.

No, come back.Andy's coming.Right there, so the camera's going to see you.Andy's coming.

Anthony's company.You still bend over.

Matt, you literally, you literally.

The after is pretty good.

Yeah, you're completely.You like started again after you fell.You like fell, and then you walked up.It's terrifying to fall from up there.

It is.It is terrifying.You see this.All right.

OK, Andy's coming.I'm not doing that.All right, ready, ready, ready.OK, Andy's coming.

Everyone buckles their knee before they fall.

You gotta break your fall.

Do it Harper, do it Harper.Don't buckle your knee.Keep your knee straight.The key is keeping your knee straight.Andy's coming.Okay.

Andy's coming.

What if Bonnie's coming now?Instead of Andy?Bonnie's coming.

They do it, they do it like this.

They always like do it on something.

Yeah, try it against the couch all right Andy's coming body you had no core strength there Andy's coming You almost broke the back of the couch dude.Don't ever do that again.

The couch is barely with us Wait Man, if we broke this couch, it'd be sad.

We've had this thing for three years.

There's so many stains on it.It's so sad.I think I just dislocated my knee.

I don't think so.It looks pretty located to me.

Do you know what they do at an allergist?

Yeah, they poke.They poke.

Over 20 shot and Reese's scared of needles, you know, wait, I make all my blood John She was crying and I was one who took it like I thought out an allergist they like take some grass and they're like No, no, no peanut butter.OK, let's try nuts.

OK, well, now I'm telling you, actually, you poke like on your back, like 20 shots or 100 shots.And it ends up like this.Yeah, like that.Yeah, I had to do that.That's the allergist.

Dang!Insert different things into you.And if you swell up like that, that means you're allergic to it.

Oh, wait, so he's allergic to all of them?A lot of it.That's really sad.

I need to find my picture.I did it.

Yeah, you did do it one time.

You swelled up?I've done it twice.Were you swelling up at all?yeah when i was younger i did it when i was 11 you'll never guess what she was allergic to cashews grass what oh so that's actually tested yes i thought she just made that up they just like get like grass and made it up well you never told me that you've been tested i guess they have to be like stabbing you with grass then oh my gosh i literally do you remember when i or what makes up grass which is just, I don't even know.

Yeah.I'm, I don't know.I don't understand that.On your back.Yeah.Squeeze juice out of grass.

Yeah.

It's probably grass DNA or like they peel a little off in a tube and mix together.

It'd be like grass babies or something.They're putting in you.I don't know.Dude.I hate straight bamboo juice one time.

and it's good disgusting actually i did not like it did you like sugarcane yeah that's what it was yeah sugarcane is so good we were we were on tour in australia or yeah we were we were in uh london yeah and we were at a farmer's market thing and this guy was making sugarcane straight from the cane do you chew on it too did you chew on the steak no he like he like juiced it out when i went to costa rica i got to um well i've been there multiple times as y 'all know oh and uh and basically as we know no like he cuts the sugar cane off and he peels it and you get to chew on it and it's like the best thing ever because it's straight sugar every time i

says Costa Rica I always think of that episode.I always think so.It happened this week we were watching The Office and somebody was going to Costa Rica in it and I was like that's where Harper went right?

Yeah.I hope like the three things that remind y 'all of me, me of y 'all, yeah is Ariana Grande and Costa Rica because like when you think of Ariana Grande.

Mine is the podcast, Ariana Grande.Costa Rica.

Ariana Grande.

The color red.

Ariana Grande.

And blood.So you put on your shirt today thinking of me?No.

Okay.Okay.

What are the three things you think of when you think of Harper?

Of Harper?Like that remind me of Harper?

Do y 'all think of Ariana Grande?Like when you see Ariana Grande, you think of me.

Anytime I see someone just like this.

Well, not a lot of people do that pose.

If you ever drop something like I don't know, like a clothing line or something that has to be your cover photo.

That would be like one in a million.I am I'm doing a photo shoot and I can't say too much about it, but I'm doing a photo shoot in New York and I have to be completely pale for it.No subtan or anything.What are you doing it this week or like Monday?I'm going on Monday.

I know.

Right.

Wait.So you're going to New York on Monday and then coming back for Ariana Grande and then going to.Yeah.

Listen to this.Listen to this.So I'm going to New York on Monday.And then I from New York, I go straight to Dallas from Dallas.I drive all the way to Austin from Austin.I fly to L .

A.and then I'm done.

Well, then you're in L .A.

for like a week.Well, then you fly back to Dallas.

Am I seriously in L .A.

for a week?

How long?No, like four days, five days.Oh, because you're also shooting with Salish.

I can't be that long without my home and my bed.

The guy you're talking to yeah, she's like without Rocket League.

I mean, no Are you gonna like scrub scrub scrub your tan off like really?

Well, it's already basically offI just have to like scrub it off me Yeah, I thought you were darker than me Yeah, I have to take my lashes off did you have to get neutral nails yeah, but this one already fell off So I'm just gonna get new ones even though I got these done two days ago, and this one already fell I know but I don't want to I kind of think it's like edgy and cool to have one nail off Yeah, something like that Do y 'all think it's edgy and cool because if not, I'll go get them done again.

I don't know edgy and cool to what?Oh, no, that's all right.What am I gonna have to go?

Yeah, your nails are long as heck.

Yeah, I like them long.

Look at his nails.

Don't look at my nails.They're dirty from changing the tire.

Look at his nails.Just show up mad of your nails.Don't be embarrassed.Like the white is showing, that's really bad.

Thank you.Uh, you know, also y 'all soaps, women's soaps is a very painful by the way.Yeah, the salt ones, they have like salt in their soaps.Oh, those ones are good.

You're talking about exfoliating scrub?Whatever it is.That's not a soap.

Yeah, but we use it like soap.It felt like soap when I was going like this with it.

You were exfoliating?

Wait, you're not supposed to use it on your whole body.

Yeah, it's just funny that cash is exfoliating.Wait, what do you mean exfoliating?It's what it's called.It's a sugar.It's like sugar scrub.

Okay, but isn't it just soap?

No, it's sugar.

So it doesn't work like soap and make you smell good?Wait, can you eat it?

I mean, you can try.It's sugar.It's not good.Hold on.

No, it is soap because it makes you smell good.

Yeah, I've ate it before.

You've eaten it?

I've ate the Tree Hut scrub.

I've tried it on accident.

Oh, that's what I did.Tree Hut.

Yeah, Tree Hut scrub and I ate it.Was it good?One time I was exfoliating myself and I started bleeding.Should we eat it right now?Yeah, we can eat it.I mean, it does taste good.

No, it doesn't.There's sugar in it.

Let's put it on some crackers and let's try it.I don't think there's actual sugar in it.I think it's just the size of sugar crystals.I'm starving.It's real sugar?Yeah, you'll eat it.

Okay, she said she eat it Maybe after you do Potentially if you have like a specific flavor you like, um, what flavors do you have?Okay, get candy cane and get some club crackers.

Oh me.

Yeah.Okay.I'll get it.Yeah somebody why does he like run off like that and act like he's funny then he acts normal you should see him off the pod it's worse he acts normal off the pod you sometimes you've never used my exfoliator i most certainly have do you experiment what do you do when you when you sometimes as a dude you're in the shower you're like what can all these things even do what are they for wait what do you what do you guys do in the shower just like washed her hair with a five in one axe thing.

Five in one axe.

I don't know.

I used to do that before I bought them.

I start grabbing bottles when I'm in there.I'm like, what is this?

I used to make potions in the shower and be in there for like three hours consecutively.I'm still in there for three hours, but that's the best part of my day.Really?

Oh man.Sometimes I shower and then I have to take a bath and then I shower again.

And then I like you get tired standing.

Yeah.

Yeah.The thing is, my phone mount is on the is on the like the wall.So I have my phone in there.And then I when I get tired, I need to sit down and lay down in the bathtub.But then my phone's all the way up there.So then I have to like put it back down.

Now you need to.I do.I have to.I just use my little grippy and I stick it where I know, but it gets wet.Where's the crackers?

You get.Oh my god, this is gonna be bad.You know what I was thinking about the other day?What?You know how like people are like, oh, let me see your group chat with your best friend and then everyone's like, no.Like it's like a trend on TikTok.

Yeah.You're like, absolutely not.I was thinking about that about our group chat we have.I feel like no one can see that.You can scroll through it, Harper.But I feel like no one can see it.

I just opened up a text from it.

It's not good.What group chat?

There was something that was said the other day.

is it show me okay I'll show you oh my god I'm just gonna in general give them an idea.

Listen, not everything is meant for everyone Kinsey.

Well, this is don't do it Cash took a picture of Noah behind the camera mid podcast I don't know why or when he did that and he made him look like crazy let's see tell you every once in a while i scroll through the chat just for a good laugh and like there's just a guy that went to prison that looks a lot like noah those are not club crackers and it won't go well the candy cane what it's not candy cane it says candy cane oh is that the it's cocoa no i have that one that has like like a candy cane or like like something on it i'll be fine i'll eat it no this is insane harper i don't wait look on the like warning label to see if that can like If not, we'll just sue him.

Well, when you went to the allergist, did it say you can't have it?

Circlose?If you can't, if you can't, if you can't describe it, if you can't describe it, then what you're eating, then don't eat it.Yeah, but that's what I'm about to do.

I'll ask chat.If I eat tree hut, is that bad?

It does have coconut oil, cocoa, something.

You can eat coconut oil.

And butter.

Coconut oil's in food.

Fruit extract.I mean everything almost in here is very, but some of it's not.

Okay, I'm gonna cover it with the other chips so I don't have to taste it all.it says do not eat, but it says if you take a small taste you should be fine Okay, I'm gonna put this over here and get another Yeah, I don't think you should be eating this Closeup we'll do it together, but then who would call 9 -1 -1 y 'all be like I don't even think you should do this actually.

I've changed my mind.You shouldn't do it I've had this much in the shower because it went under my nails.

So yeah, I've accidentally it's got under my nails for then I like lick my nail later and it's just like Oh, she actually ate it.

I thought it's gonna be covered up by the chip Sina, why would you do that though?

Did it taste like soap?You didn't actually eat it.

She needs water.You need to go wash your mouth out.Did she actually eat it?Yeah, she's spitting it out.Oh.Oh.

No, you're good.You can do it in that trash can.

Eww.

She said it tastes like soap.

Can I see that?Can you hand that to me?

Yeah.

That is so gross.Let's see.Oh, that ingredient list is long.

Not good?

Can I see it?

I thought you said you eat it all the time.

Titanium Dioxide, Parfum.

Titanium Dioxide?That cannot be good.

Whatever Titanium Oxide is.

That's so bad.

You know what we need to do on this pod?

For external use only.

I have a great idea.She made it internal.I really want us to all eat the one chip.

No, I can't.Dude, I'm not.Wait, did you see the MrBeast video?

Yes.Yes.They made me have faith that we could do it, but I had no idea.I promise you.Would you eat it if we got it?

We did it.We did it.

done it before if y 'all if y 'all do it with me I'll do it, but you know where you got a guess if they ate it or not No, no, we never did this, but wait Do you know the game where there's a regular chip and a spicy chip and then they eat one and you got a guess which one they?

Guess but we just ate it and Joe ate like three recipes yeah i think we had like a half or something yeah how do um i i don't i'm not catholic so i don't know is that a catholic thing yeah um they do father son and holy spirit my best friend's catholic father son and gets the head no father son holy spirit wait no father son holy spirit no it's father son and holy spirit father son wait you don't go down my stomach hurts i just did okay anyways um my friend is catholic and we were praying and like they say like this big thing before they pray you know the catholic thing and um i was like father son holy spirit and i was like acting like i knew it my stomach hurts really bad i don't know it said that was the number one titanium it said that titanium dioxide it does that to you you know like Have you seen those videos where people go to someone's house and they do like the Pledge of Allegiance after the blessing for the food?

No.

Wait, we did that.

We literally, yeah.

We played a prank on Cash Mapp and Kenzie today.

Yeah, you can't say what that prank was.

We're all shocked.Yes, I didn't wait When you told us so she did the prank to us, right?

The prank was like pretending she the prank was just a boy that sent her a message and it was a voice memo voice Crazy voice of him just saying like how much he loves Harper like but it was like really weird and cringy Yeah, and then um, but it was actually just Blake as a joke because Kate sent me a takeoff She's like we should do a prank on them.

So then I had Blake do that and then um, and then we played it and then kids you didn't knowit was fake until I finally told her like two minutes after everybody found out.So she was just sitting there.

As soon as the prank was over, I walked over and I was using my Dyson.So it's like in my ears and she tells them all it's fake.And I'm just thinking the whole time, like Harper's got weird boys in her house.

Y 'all probably thought that I did something like I was like, I didn't know what happened. That's why Matt was like, no, let me see what you said, what you said. Yeah. We did a prank. into my parents' house, and they live in like, my parents live in like the middle of Oklahoma.

Whoa!Gosh!What?Okay.

That's crazy.What just happened?I think she made him smell her breath.

I don't know what died in there.That is crazy.What's wrong with her for you?He looks stunned.That smells like the inside of a ship carrying rats or something.

Why did he scream like that?That was so crazy.

Dead rats.That scared me.That gave me trauma.

Okay, well any other volunteers you got to smell it Kate Kinsey volunteer cash you go.I'm okay.

I don't Harper did you think your breath smell?

No, we don't Anything to eat today, so Hey, would that hit you?That's crazy.I feel like I got hit by a truck.

Matt can't even smell anything either.Yeah, I can't smell that good either.Your breath stinks too.

Matt breaths always stink.Who?He was known to stink breath when we were younger.What?Yeah.Yeah, you were stink foot.

That's sad.

He was.

His foot was so bad that we had to...

Yeah Yeah, I know but it was true mine was he was making mine up, but his is true We had to soak his feet in tea We had big vats full of sweet tea he'd have to soak his feet in thereWhy?

Because my mom looked up on the internet before Chad GPT, okay?

My mom looked it up on the Google.

My mom had to look it up.She's like, what happens if you have chronic feet smelling?

And she was like, you gotta put him in sweet teeth.His feet would smell so bad.

No.No, it wasn't taking his shoes off.He'd have his shoes on in the car.

Yeah, so my mom started making me soak my feet in sweet tea and Turns out turns out the cause of it I just never changed my socks.I didn't know you really had to do that I wore the same socks like weeks in a row crusty man, I mean you ever had like a Crustable change your underwear kids.I didn't wear underwear and that's also not made up.I did what happens I never bought under your old Yep, blue jeans with no underwear raw.

Yeah.Yep at eight and nine.

My mom was trying to get us to do our own laundry Yeah, the solution was just don't have dirty socks blue jeans shirt when when when I breathe in that space you're still It got me it was funny No, I can't that was crazy body scrub it could be it could be or do you want to smell my breath i'm okay hey i got a question for you guys um i mean well actually wearing underwear without underwear is better for you because it lets you breathe not with jeans that's why i'm currently yeah with jeans it's kind of crazy and the way the way you worded it is also freaking me out too well listen

We both did.You were wearing no underwear jeans.You pulled your jeans up.You zipped and buttoned your pants with no underwear.Yeah, and then I had no socks on either.

So I was sitting there in sweet tea, blue jeans on, nothing else.

We did that every day.I didn't even know pajamas.I slept in blue jeans.I slept in blue jeans.I lived in blue jeans.I walked in blue jeans.

People don't think it because like, you know, we look very odd now, I guess.I don't know.But we don't look country for sure.

Yeah, pop up a picture of what me and Mav used to look like.But we grew up in like the woods.The woods.Um, anyways, I have a question I've been wanting to ask you guys.And I mean this sincerely when I ask this.No, no, no, no.

It was my big moment.Go ahead.

It's okay.

No, it's fast.No, I'll say it again.Um, I want to be a stand -up comedian.I think that you could be one, but...That's a good joke.Do you think?

No, that wasn't the joke.

Oh.

Do you think I could be one?I want y 'all's honest, strict opinions.

Yes.

You really want to be one?The only hang up I think I'll have is I was listening to myself the other day on the podcast.Me and Kate were watching it and I couldn't understand any word I was saying.That's kind of why it's funny too.Yeah, I know.

My speech was just like, there's like a hot comedian that I watch.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh my gosh.Yeah.I think you knew who she was talking about.It was crazy.

No, Matt Reif is the one who's like always like, Oh, um, you, uh, Let me see a country singer right?

I think it shows are like 80 % girls.

Yeah, I know Matt Reif is it's him That's who you think Matthew Stephen Reif.

Yes No, Matt, right.Yes.Oh my gosh.

Yeah Do you know that wait paper knows that right?They used to play basketball together or something.I think um, I don't know something Anyways, guys, what's y 'all's opinions on that?Are you being a stand -up comedian?

Yeah, I think you could I think you couldSanta comedians say a lot of things that are highly offensive.

Mm -hmm.I'll be good at it I think I could do that.

You would be a good one.I think you'd be a good comedian I just think you need to lower your voice a little more calm down slow down on your words.

Whoa and yeah that seems like real advice you are you are funny you do make us laugh sometimes but it's like sometimes sometimes the punchline don't hit because we're like what yeah he was what you said but you said something on the podcast and i completely understood it because i listened to you talk all day yeah like what did i just say it's kind of like a unique accent you got to be able to understand the accent for it to be fun yeah i wouldn't go to like Anywhere, actually.

They're not going to understand you.

Sometimes when we were overseas, I feel like that was happening.We would say something, and I think we were talking too quickly, and they couldn't understand us.And then we asked, do you understand us?And they were like, no.

We should have our biggest fans on.Sorry, we should have our biggest fans on.Like that one?No.That would be a good joke to end the stand -up comedy bit.That's the thing you can't say when you're a stand -up comedian, because it's not funny.

Anyways, I might turn your fans off like that one Anyways, oh we should have our biggest fans on and we should test them test them.How like on like how much they love us?Like their loyalty their loyalty.

Yeah quiz them like Oh their loyalty like see what they'll do for us like cut your finger off like stab them Yeah, I do think our biggest fans like if I murder somebody they wouldn't call the cops on I I agree I think I could convince me like y 'all it had to be done and they'd be like it had to be done it had to be I actually do believe that I think we should test that because I think that Harper would do that with ariana grande if I think Harper could witness ariana grande kills literally murdered someone and she's like Harper it had to be done Harper to be like I didn't see nothing no I would literally be like I will go to court and lie for you and that is the Michael Jacksoncase, right?

Yeah.Okay.Let's not get into Michael.I really don't think I should, but I have strong opinions, but I don't think so.

Yeah.Yeah.

Back to you being a standup comedian.

I think I could be a pretty good standup comedian.

I think the hardest part for Cash is you'll have to stand up for an hour.It's a long time.It's a long time.

Hard person.She would.I think you're funny, man.

You know, Michael Jackson spent 50 days in the courtroom.50 days or something like that.Maybe 40.

Who?

MJ.

Michael Jackson.

King of Pop.Hello.

Oh, OJ Simpson.

Yes.

Because he did, too.He spent like 40 days in the courtroom.

Wait, Harper, do you know who Michael Jackson is?

Oh, I do know who he is.

She loves Michael Jackson.

Just beat it.

Yeah.Yeah.

Oh, oh, I went to court.What?I spent a day in the courtroom, not 40 days, but I did.

You did not go to court.

Swear.Swear, I have a photo.No.Yes, I do.I do.What was there?

Like, why were you images in there?No, I, I went to court and I'm sorry.Oh yeah.

You went to court and you got a photo, right?You were just in front of the judge.It's like, can we take a quick pic real quick?

Sorry.I'm trying to find it.

I'm trying to find it.Why are you hiding your phone?What's what's on your phone?

You have to hide nothing.Um, I don't think I saved it in chat.

Oh, how come?Oh, here it is.Is this your first time in court?Oh, you were at court.

You were at the yeah.

Oh my goodness.We're not going to show the photo, but she was at court.

This is me in court.

Wait, what?Why were you in court?

That's crazy, Harper.

Wait, you are at court.

Yes.Now give me my phone back.You actually went?No, give me my phone back.Why'd you go to court?Was it for a speeding ticket?

Wait, you actually went to court?

Wait, did you go to court for Natalie?

Well, um.Were you filing?What were you filing at the courthouse?Um.Did it have to do with Natalie?

Okay.Anyways, no, no, no, no, it didn't well i'll tell you the truth.I originally went in there Two days ago because I was like, I need to file a report.I need to file a case for natalie Yeah, it was recent and then All the way back from that courthouse, I roll past the stop sign and, um, I rolled past it and a cop was literally right there.

I was like, Oh, you mean rolled that you actually rolled past it.

And, and the cop was right there.And I like rolled past the stop sign.And I was like, I was looking at the stop sign.I was like, no cop, no stop.Cause I don't see it.So then I rolled past it.

And then the cop was right there.Like in the corner of my eye, I was like, crap.So then he comes, pulls me over.He's like, you literally you you you literally saw me and I was like I know I'm sorry and then he was like he was like you could have at least stopped you didn't have to go straight past it he was like I was like I'm sorry he's like we've had a lot of problems with the stop sign so that's why I have to be there I was like do you have nothing else to do with your life but pull teenage girls over in a pink car like what no so yeah so then I was like I was being super appreciative so then he would give me a warning but then he came to me he was like gave me the ticket $390.

Yeah.

Stupid.I could have bought golden goose.I could have bought something besides.I'm sorry that I, and now I still have to take a defensive driving course.Like, are you kidding?

No, that's the worst part.The $390 is way better than the driver.

No, listen, I can't do that because I'm a minor.So basically my mom, me and her went in and the judge was like, You can either pay $390 right now and I'll do the defensive driving course, or you can pay 180 and do the defensive driving course and you have 90 days to do it.And I was like, I'd rather just pay the full thing.I was like, mom, can you pay for me?She's like, no.So then, um, so then I look at him and I was like, okay, I'll just pay the full thing.

So I have my Apple pay out.He's like, we don't take Apple pay.So I pull my card out and I was like, um, okay, where's your thing?He's like, it takes me a while to pull it up.And he was like, Oh, actually you, even if you do pay the three 90, you still have to pay the full thing.

So then were you like, okay, then I want to pay the one 80.Yeah.

So I was like, I'll just pay the one 80.So then I paid the one 80 and now I have to sign up.To do a course, even though, oh yeah.And then he was like, by the way, it's not that hard to drive.I swear on everything.I was like, what?

He's like, he's like, it's not that hard to drive safely.And he was, oh yeah.And then he was like, and if you get another ticket and the like city you're in right now, you will be, you're on probation right now for 90 days.And if I get another ticket, then I will have to go to jail.

not jail but i will have to be um it'll just go on your record it'll go on my record yeah yeah that's what it was yeah not prison no not prison but they're like close to the same thing yeah yeah yeah i that's terrible i did defensive driving It was terrible.So how long did you spend at the courthouse for this?

It's like 10 minutes.

You made it sound like that was like three hours.We had to go.

No, I felt like it.I was like just waiting and they couldn't ring up the money.

Did you cry when the cop pulled you over?

No, you didn't try that.I mean, I should have tried, but I mean it was like, it was really like, it was bad.I went straight through the stop sign.

I know a girl that when she gets pulled over, she pours stuff on her self and says that she, peed her pants and that's why she was running home.

That's such a good idea.Sorry.

Um, yeah, I should do that person does that girl that you respect it.

Yeah, it is a very smart idea.

Well, yeah, I actually want to do that.It wasn't water though.What was actually pee?No.

okay she just says something along the lines of what i said very close to what i said but it's something different and we're not going to go into details but that is so but you can tell me after right yeah i'll tell you after but she does that to get the cops like to maybe like side with her a little bit but i don't know has that never worked i don't know if she's ever actually tried she just was like prepared for it she did tell me she was like i got pulled over one time she was like you know she was like

like probably like 17 or 18.She got pulled over and she used to drive a Camaro and the cop was like asking like, is this your dad's car?And she was like, no.Cause she bought it herself.Dang.

I thought, uh, I thought I was smart.And I was like, I'm going to put a blue lives matter sticker on the back of my car.Just in case a cop ever pulls me over.I have a blue lives matter sticker.

I don't think that's what the sticker is.

What?

Yeah.It's not a blue large bag.

It's a blue stripe.

It's just like back the blue.

Or whatever it is.It's the flag with the blue stripe in the middle.And it's like the cops flag.And I was like, I'm going to put this on the back of my car.

If you can't even know what it is, why would you do that?

Listen, because it was a decoy for me to not get a ticket.The man didn't even know what the sticker meant.

He was like, cops like the sticker?Put it on.

So I put it on the back of my car and I got pulled over one day and I was like, hope he sees that sticker.And I think he did see it, but he still gave me a ticket and never gave it back.Even commented once about well, listen, i'm never did you ask about this?

Hey I think we took the sticker off after that.Yeah, I was like, this is a ripoff I've never even like given me a ticket when I when I was 16.I just got my license I was driving.Um, I was driving my friends around and I can't have more than four people in a car But I was going 10 over so that's the first time I got pulled over and they were like and four cops pulled up Yeah, like they want to join the parties and so what I tried was I was like, oh were you in my um, We actually just filmed.I have a youtube channel and were you in the video?They were all like, you know, they're like, no, we weren't I know, I know.

It was literally all the way over there in like Bartonville.

I have a YouTube channel.

I know.

She gets pulled over.Do you know how fast you were going?Okay, so I have a YouTube channel.I know you're in my video.Here's my gold plaque.

That's so funny.She like, we had just filmed with some cops like at a department in our area, but she got pulled over in a different spot.

Yeah.Oh my gosh.We filmed a Cash and Matt video, and we had these cops come over.It was for the Who Killed Harper video, if y 'all ever seen it.And, uh, like, the whole police department showed up.There was, like, a ton of cops there for our video.

And, uh, yeah, the one time I did get pulled over, he was a guy at that shoot.Really?Yeah.

I saw this video the other day, and this lady in Florida gets pulled over.Are you listening?You're going to like this story and you're not listening.

Dog, I'm listening.He's talking about crazy Florida women.

He's talking about his malnourished pinky.

No, I was just showing how like my tan, because when I take my ring off, I have a ring line.

You're such a devoted husband.

I do.Don't look at that.All right, what are you saying, Kenzie?

So this lady in Florida gets pulled over by the cops and the cops like, can I see your ID?And she's like, no.And but she's just so slowly, she's like, and he's like, I need to see your ID or I'm going to have to ask you to get out of the car." And she basically is like, is this your friend?No, this is a girl I saw on TikTok.Was she drunk?

No, no.So anyways, long story short, she gives him her identification card, but it's not like her state of Florida ID.It's like a piece of paper she printed off that has her name on it.But that's it.It only has her name.What?

and he's like this is not like an actual state of florida i'm gonna try to do that just bring out a selfie she called herself like a diplomat or something oh yeah so there's people that say they're citizens of the free earth yeah and they believe that you don't that you have the right to live on the earth and so they say this is god's land yeah like they don't recognize the state of florida no one owns the government oh yeah they don't recognize police officers they say this is god they think you can't own land yeahWe all own it.I would like to see them try that in North Korea.

It's a cool idea.

So what happens when they want to go buy a house?Now listen, let me tell you Kim Jong Un.Or rent an apartment.I'm going to be here.I don't know.Like you have to have identification for like everything in this world.

But anyways, so they pull, she was very compliant, like she was a nice lady.They pull her out of the car and they're like we're going to have to take you to jail if you don't give us an ID." And she's like, I gave you my ID, but she doesn't believe in having like government issued IDs.So anyways, they pull her into the cop car and she's like, I don't understand.What did I do wrong?And they're like, you have to have a state of Florida or a government -issued ID to be able to drive on the on the road.

She pulls out her Bible and she's like, it says that Christians have the right to subdue the earth.Do you know what that means?It means I need to be able to travel the earth.And he's like, okay, well you can walk.

What do you do in that situation?You're just like, okay okay right but yeah in the state of florida i just kept saying that i still it keeps replaying in my mind when i breathe the mouth i said he did that weird scream my parents live in like the middle of oklahoma oh it wasn't even weird if that hit you you would be terrified too all right guys uh uh thanks so much for watching this episode we can get out of jail kids yeah harper's gonna get some mouthwash so we'll see y 'all