I'M A BOY MUM🩵!!! LET'S CATCH UP | MOLLYMAE

Hi guys, welcome back to my channel.I hope you're all doing well.I feel like I need to be a little bit quiet, but equally, I plan to sit here and talk for a little bit of time.So I'll be quiet now, and then when I find my confidence, I'll start talking at a normal volume.But the builders have now left the chat, and I still have stage fright, even though it's only my mum outside.Welcome back to my channel.

How are we all doing?I'm greeting you as a mother of two.a mother of two, and a boy mum.Now, I've had a long time to process the fact that I am a boy mum, but it genuinely, honestly it sounds silly, but even like nearly a year on, like ten months on, I still just, I don't know, I can't process the fact that I have a son like to me in my head I've always been just like the epitome of a girl mom and I've just adored being a girl mom so much and I don't know that like I still keep forgetting that he's a boy a few times I'm like oh he's a girl and I'm like oh no he's a boy um but sorry I've literally just come on here and I've already started talking a load of rubbish but I'm just, I don't know, I had a spare hour before I picked Bambi up from nursery.

My mum's watching Baby Boy for me.Still up until the very last minute, there were so many people thinking that we were having a girl, but I was really surprised at that.Do you know why?Because I feel like, in my mind, if it had been a girl, there's...I would have just...I probably would have announced it.

And I don't know what my theory was behind that.Not out of, like, disappointment or anything, because if you actually...There's clips of, like, a really old YouTube video of me from when I'm, like, 18 saying that my dream one day is to have two girls.um but i think in my heart of hearts and like when we were about to pop the balloon for our gender reveal which was literally just the three of us me tommy and bambi on the landing i was praying it was gonna be blue because i knew how much it meant to tommy i also knew that i am 99 .9 sure i only want to have two children soas much as it would have been amazing to give Bambi a sister, I also feel like I wanted to, I've also felt like I want to stop it.Can't get my tenses right here.

I'm speaking in a million different past, present, future tense.I just feel like I'm ready to stop it too.So the fact that we were blessed with a boy and we have a son is just genuinely amazing.I just couldn't, I don't know, we couldn't be luckier, and I couldn't be happier, and I just can't process that we have a boy.Like, what?I just can't believe it, guys, that we literally have a son.

Like, what?That will never feel real.Also, boy mums, how are we dressing our boys?How are we dressing our boys?Because let me tell you one thing, through my whole pregnancy I pretty much did not buy him one outfit.All I've bought is white baby groceries.

I'm like, I don't know how to dress a boy.Like, I've just, I genuinely have no idea.Like, what's cute?What do boys wear?And also, like, I'm figuring so much out with having a boy that with girls you just don't have to think about, like, what are those nappy changes?What are those nappy changes?

Because I have never experienced anything like that in my life.Every single time I'm doing a nappy change, it's a fountain.It's a fountain and I'm terrified.I'm terrified of it.I take the nappy off and I'm like, I'm gonna get soaked.He's gonna get soaked, the bedroom's gonna get soaked, and everything will be soaked by the end of this nappy change, and it's quite frankly terrifying, so I'm still trying to get the hang of that.

I don't even know where to begin explaining life over the last two weeks, and like I said in my last video, I didn't really plan to sit down and do a video like this, but also I feel like I've got that much to update you guys on and that much to share and fill you in on that.i don't know i feel like i just want to sit down and just catch you all up really and just tell you about a little bit about my birth even though it's quite a quick story because it was a quick birth there's actually no words to explain the difference in how i feel this time around post -birth to how i feel how i felt with bambi like there's justlike I just can't, I honestly just can't put it into words the difference in this experience versus my first experience having a baby, to the point where like we're coming up to him being two weeks old tomorrow and I haven't actually, I think I've cried once.I literally think I've shed a tear once, but even like I'm watching like emotional TikToks and stuff and I'm like, this isn't, I just feel happy.I don't feel sad.I don't feel like really emotional.

I keep kind of waking up in the morning thinking like, is today the day that I'm going to have the hormone drop?Is today the day I'm maybe going to start feeling like a little bit down and like the baby blues, but I also don't want to manifest that and bring it on because it's just not happening this time.And I also feel like I don't want to sit here and be like, this is so amazing and the jump from one to two has been, I mean, I'm literally week two.It's such early days, but I also just want to tell you guys how I'm feeling and how things are.So as of right now, it's Friday.Tomorrow is Tommy's fight.

So we haven't actually announced the name in this moment.And I honestly feel like it's become, I feel like people are going to be genuinely like, quite underwhelmed.We have named our son Midas, his middle name is Thomas and his surname is Fury, so he's Midas Thomas Fury.We had this name for a boy for quite a few years and it's actually, I saw a couple comments when the name was being rumoured about how the name originates from Greek mythology because there was a king called King Midas and he was the king, I believe the story is that everything he touches turns to gold and I do absolutely just like love that saying I actually when Tommy wears his kit tomorrow inside the kit I've put like a little um not me personally but when we were designing it we put a little patch inside that says everything he touches turns to gold because I do just think it's so special but equally he's not necessarily named after the Greek king because I saw a few comments being like um King Midas was a fool in Greek mythology like this is just so silly if she's called her son this but the same way Bambi is not necessarily namedafter the Disney character Bambi, it's the same way Midas is not named after the Greek king.I actually, this is the most random story, I actually found the name from watching a film called Real Steel, which is like the most random film.

It's basically like Transformers.It's the most, like, not me film ever.When I showed my mum it the other week, she was like, this is so, like, random for you to like this film.And I was like, I know, but it's actually such a great film.It's got Hugh Jackman in it.And it's a film about robots boxing.

Honestly, we're gonna go for a lot of weird stuff in this video.But yeah, it's a film about robots.Boxing robots basically and one of the robots in the film that was boxing was called Midas and I heard the name I thought this was years ago.I was like, wow, that's a really cool strong name like Midas I've never heard of that before and I just thought Midas fury Wow, what a strong name and then I mentioned it to Tommy and he just absolutely fell in love with it I don't even know what timeline we're looking at here This could have been like literally years ago, but that was always our boy name really that we stuck with I'm just so blessed that he's here and he's healthy and we're so happy and I feel like a completely different version of myself this time round to who I was postpartum with Bambi, like there's literally genuinely no way to actually compare it.A lot of you will know that postpartum with Bambi I truly did struggle so so much and I think looking back that I probably did have postpartum depression to some extent, definitely for the first I'd say three months to six months.I honestly cannot remember a lot of that time with Bambi and feel like I've completely kind of blurred it from my memory and kind of tried to forget in a sad way.

I was so out of my depth, I felt like I didn't have a clue what I was doing and in my opinion, this is totally my opinion,you cannot compare the mental effects of going from zero to one, and then one to two children.And that's just my opinion.Obviously, I'm literally two weeks postpartum.So I'm sure like when Midas is older, and you know, things get more challenging, and he kind of wakes up a little bit more, I'm dealing with two, that's going to be a challenge.For me going from nought to one was Really really really challenging and my brain I couldn't comprehend That I just gone from being like the most selfish person with only myself to worry about for 23 years To suddenly my life kind of truly felt like it had this is sound so dramatic at the time it kind of felt like it had ended and it kind of felt like oh my gosh like I'm I was like mourning my old life and I was grieving this version of myself that I knew I was never ever ever going to get back.

I've spent three and a half years adapting to this new lifestyle, adapting to being a mum, processing that I now forever will not be first priority and that Bambi will always come first and that I technically am someone else's like permanent helper and permanent person and support system emotionally, mentally, like they they will always come first so I've already spent Multiple amount of years kind of making that adjustment.So adding one more to that.I've already made all those changes I'm already so much less selfish I'm already so much more accepting that my life kind of belongs to someone else now and when you go from zero to one You're trying to like not only take care of this little this little baby that's been plunked on your lap But also make that huge mental adjustment of like oh my god, like my life's like my old life's gone like that's me now like my you feel like your childhood and like your independence and that for that first stage for me i i couldn't comprehend that it just like that gone and i genuinely had this vivid memory of i'm really word vomiting but i had this vivid memory of zoe coming to help me so much with bambi and zoewas able to like at the end of the day she would go back to her apartment and I used to sit on the sofa with Bambi and I would like watch Zoe leave the house and think the envy and the jealousy that I had of her being able to come and enjoy Bambi and spend time with Bambi, but then she could go back to her old, independent, selfish life.And I was sat here with this newborn baby at 23, thinking my life was kind of over.That's genuinely how I remember that the first time around.

This was not meant to be this kind of video at all, by the way.I was meant to tell you my birth story, and here I am, 30 minutes in, telling you my deepest, darkest thoughts.This time around, the difference is that that adjustment's already been made, and I'm already, like, so used to being a mum now, and it's taken me like three years of finding my feet and adapting to this, so adding Midas kind of just felt like, well, I'm here now, I'm already doing this, I already know what I'm doing, I already am a mum.So, I don't know, yeah, it's been obviously had its challenging moments in the first two weeks, like yeah, I'm sleep deprived, yeah, I'm two weeks exclusively breastfeeding, which I'm so flippin' proud of myself for, and yeah, I'm actually so proud because I literally, put absolutely zero pressure on the breastfeeding and to be honest with you kind of thought I might do a couple days and call it a day just because I was so ready to kind of just like lean into whatever I needed like not put pressure on myself to not repeat what happened last time with Bambi and by doing that everything's just felt so much lighter guys honestly that's the only way I can describe it but two weeks exclusively breastfeeding and he's gained 7 ounces so when Midas was born he was 7 pounds 16 ounces so he was just 1 ounce under 8 pounds Even know this is how smart I am didn't even know there was 16 ounces in a pound I've never heard of a weight like that seven pounds sixteen, but yeah He was just under eight and now he's eight pounds six I think what else you guys might want to know maybe about how Bambi's been I feel like when you are a toddler mum and you arrive home from schoolwith your newborn, I personally, again this is all just like my personal opinion, I actually feel like the most challenging part of that dynamic is the toddler, in my case anyway, because I have a toddler that is Super strong -willed.She really knows her own mind.

She's very specific with how she likes to do things.She's super super confident like she is absolutely incredible and somehow like every week that goes by with Bambi like I just find space in my heart to love her more and more and more and more and we're all just absolutely obsessed with her.Yeah I would say when I arrived home from hospital and immediately I was hit with like Bambi's energy and her needs and her dinner times and her emotional needs and you know physical needs of like being held and you know just everything it was like whoa okay actually this is gonna be probably the hardest part of this experience this time around.One thing I will say and this is honest to god the truth I genuinely feel like having a newborn I've realised that us toddler parents, I believe, are actually going through it more, unpopular opinion.

Newborns make toddlers look savage, like absolutely savage.

And shout out to all of us toddler parents out there, because whether you have a newborn or not, I believe that having mine has truly made me realise that toddlers are just no joke.They're just no joke.And I will sit here, say it with my chest that I believe What I'm going through right now in the newborn stage with Midas is actually easier.But in terms of how she's been with Midas in general, she's actually been incredible.There's been no issues in regards to her, like, loving him, warming to him, wanting to be around him.There's been no jealousy as of yet.

I was speaking to my best friend Taylor the other day about the dynamic and trying to be there for now, both my children and manage Bambi's big feelings.like support her emotionally and be the best mum I can be to her whilst also being in the newborn kind of bubble or trenches or like some days it is a bubble some days the trenches some nights go better some nights go worse and trying to like navigate splitting myself and also being postpartum and it's it's obviously a quite a lot to navigate and she just gave me this really like gorgeous advice and she just said to me like now is really not the time to try and to be like for trying to be nailing it all she was like no one's expecting you to like be acing toddler parenting right now like you just got to kind of i don't want to say it i don't want to say it but make it truly nice that's really all we've got to do Sorry, it fitted too well to not say it.And now's not the time to be absolutely excelling in it.Now's not the time to be absolutely acing it.Now is the time to just be muddling our way through and figuring it out as we go along.I just wanted to quickly tell you a bit about my birth because I don't think it would take me very long to tell you because I'm not going to do like a big in -depth story.

All I will say is that I couldn't have dreamt or asked for a more special, incredible, birth even the midwives were like i think a bit shocked one of them said it was in her top five births ever and she's done a lot of births and she was i don't think anyone could really believe just the vibes and just I feel like because of how special and incredible the birth was I honestly feel like that energy has just carried through this like first two weeks of the newborn bubble and coming out of that experience just feeling so like elated and like I couldn't believe how incredible it was.That energy's kind of just kept flowing and going.I went into hospital on the 30th of May and I was induced with a, they start off induced with afor me with a gel, so basically I, they pop a gel up you and then they say like you can go for breakfast now, you can go for a little walk and just like let the gel take effect, but the minute the gel was popped in me I was literally already in absolute agony and if you actually watch my last birth story back it's actually quite a similar story to be honest, the exact same thing happened with me then.Honestly my body was so ready to give birth like I literally went into hospital that morning like really struggling to walk.I felt like I like I said in my last video if I did a large poo I could probably have pushed the baby out at the same time.

Obviously not but like I just really really felt ready to go.After a few hours of like the gel taking effect I was able to get an epidural.I had my waters broken and after my waters were broken I then had a hormone drip which basically kind of induces labour and brings on your contractions.The worst part of my day, it's a bit better now, but the worst part of my day was actually getting my cannula because the anaesthetist like really struggled to get my cannula in because I'm so needle phobic, like it's my biggest phobia is needles, that when a needle comes near me like my veins literally just like they just absolutely disappear.I could see on the screen that my contractions were Ramping up and I could feel my stomach that my the contractions were coming and like my belly was going rock -hard But I was in no pain, but I also could still have the sensation that I was having a contraction I just wasn't in any pain with it and I could see on the screen the numbers were shooting up and then the numbers were going low and I knew when I was having one and But Tommy and I were just sat in the room watching the CrossFit games like our favorite documentary because in the photo dump I posted yesterday Tia Clare Toomey who's a CrossFit champion is on the TV in the background and everyone's like this is so random like what's Tia Clare doing at your birth like what a random pairing and I'm like actually it's not that random because if you know me and Tommy you know that CrossFit is like those documentaries we just watch them over it's like our comfort thing and Tommy and I were like this is justso relaxed like the vibes were just so chilled.

I was like we were just messing around Tommy was being a fool in the room like just touching everything you shouldn't be touching and just making me laugh like we were just laughing all day like the vibes were just special.I said to my midwife I was like I'm feeling a little bit iffy, I feel like maybe something is happening and I'm getting some sort of pressure and I feel a little bit sick.I just went, I had a bit of a funny turn basically and she was like okay let me go and get your obstetrician to come in and check you.So basically my lady checked me and she literally looked down in that region and she just, and Tommy was sat on the other side of the room in a chair and she just went push.That is literally the only way I can describe it.She went, push.

She was like, push right now.She was like, you're having a contraction in the baby's head here.Bearing in mind, we were literally sat, goofing around, watching CrossFit.My sister had even texted me about five minutes before saying, you've gone quiet, I know something's happening.And I texted back being like, Zoe, nothing's happening.Like, we're gonna be here for ages.

Like, nothing's happening, trust me.And five minutes later, I was being told to push.And that is not realistic, but one thing I will say is that epidural, the epidural for me, Is genuinely the best thing to ever exist like in my opinion All those mums out there which I know there's millions and billions of mums that do like unmedicated births and completely like non no pain relief births like Wow, wow, wow, wow, could never be me. I will hold my hand up and say it will never be me, could never be me.My pain threshold's to the point where you'll do that on me and I'll be in floods of tears.And she was like, you're gonna have a baby in the next five minutes.She was like, the baby's gonna be here, the baby's head is here.

And I'll be so honest and tell you, I hate to sound so unrealistic, but I was laughing.I was laughing when I was pushing because I was in disbelief at what she was telling me.Tommy leapt off the chair and came and stood next to me. and we were just in shock because we were like what do you mean?that this is happening like we've just had the most relaxed special day together like we've just been watching films and the CrossFit and having Joe and the juice and I just I know this story just seems like so, I don't know, I don't want to, this is just the story.I know people are going to be like, this is so unrealistic and this is so this and this is so that, but this is just the story.I could really like control the pushes and I could really like focus and my lady was saying to me like just push slow and we were really trying to avoid tearing and it felt very controlled but at the same time it also felt so quick.

I think literally maybe like five big pushes and He was here to the point where they actually said to Tommy.Do you want to deliver your son?Oh my god, that made me get emotional.They were Okay, this is my second time second time since birth and yeah they said do you want to deliver your son and he was like yeah i would literally love nothing more but by the time he'd got his second glove on Midas was out and he did like grab him and pass him up to me but he didn't actually get to like basic i don't think you'd actually delivered him anyway his version of the story is that he delivered Midas and i'm letting him just go with that You heard it at first, it wasn't quite that way.He had like salad fingers of a glove.He grabbed the baby and all the fingers of the glove were hanging off the hand because he didn't get a chance to fully put it on before he shot out basically.

Yeah, Tommy grabbed Midas with my obstetrician, I don't even know if I'm saying that word right, obstetrician, I think that's how you say it, and passed him up to me and we were just I'll be honest, I was in hysterics.I was like laughing and like, I was like, what's just happened?I was like, I can't, I was just so elated and so happy and in like an actual state of shock that it happened so, so, so like smoothly and beautifully and quickly and that I've just got to experience that with no pain, which was like my biggest dream because I do, my pain's gone.is absolutely minuscule.He came onto my chest, he cried immediately, Tommy got to cut the cord and I had the full sensation, the most incredible part was that yes I was in no pain but I also had every sensation that the baby's head was coming out of me, like I really truly could feel, the only way to describe it was it felt like I was doing a poo but out of my vagina, like it literally felt like I could feel Him coming out with me. I could feel his head like literally coming out of me and But there was no pain Bambi met Midas literally about 30 minutes after he was born like if you look in the video of her meeting him like he's literally got all that he's called bernicks, but Vanix I think it's called, which is like the kind of gunk that they come out of the womb with.He had it all over his face because he'd literally been born about 45 minutes before that because it was getting close to Bambi's bedtime and we were like, oh, we can't make her wait another night.

So we did kind of rush that bit.We were like, come on, let's get back to the room so she can meet him.Because I was like, either she goes to bed now and we have to wait till tomorrow.And I couldn't wait.I was like, I really want her to meet him.And I felt bad because she knew that he was coming on that day.

She knew that he'd been born.And I didn't want to literally be like, oh, you can't come today.So anyway.Luckily she was able to come and see him, but yeah with the breastfeeding stuff I don't really know what my plan is, but I'm thinking about maybe introducing some formula soon just I'm just gonna really like pay close attention to like how I'm feeling and like if it's feeling great and Good and my mental health staying the way it feels now then like okay great We carry on but the minute I want it I feel kind of like a dip or maybe that kind of feeling slightly how I did the first time around I'm just I'm just paying like super super close attention to my mental state and just like emotions and feelings and like if I feel a bit iffy or you know have a moment I'm like it's okay like I know what this feeling is like I know this is I don't know I just feel so much peace in knowing that I've been here before and I've done this before and I know makes me emotional but I knowthat, I know that, breathe.There's like, massive peace in knowing that second time round, like, any hard moments, and any hard patches, and those hard weeks, or those hard months, or like, a tricky stage, like, it passes.

And I think that first time round, you just don't know that.You don't see a light at the end of the tunnel sometimes, and you're like, I remember.I remember first time round, I used to sit there and think, like, is this my life now?Like, am I never gonna, you know, am I never gonna sleep again?Am I never gonna feel, like, happy again?Am I never gonna, like, have my life back again?

And there's, like, massive peace second time round in knowing that like there is a light and hard, like the hard times in motherhood, like they're just a phase and they do pass.I think that was my hardest thing with Bambi was just like not knowing, they're unknown, they're not understanding that like everything is just a phase and that these phases go so quick and like the newborn phase is literally like a blink and it's done and then you've got a toddler and it's just like every single thing is just so fast and instead of wishing it away this time, like I'm desperately trying to accept it and soak it up and like live in it and not wish it away because like this could be my last baby and They're just like it's like a blip in your whole life that like you're not gonna sleep for and that you're gonna Breastfeed for and sometimes yeah, it's gonna be latched on my booth for an hour two hours and like yeah in that moment It's gonna be like oh ho like I just want to like go to the toilet or have a shower or something But like it's just a phase and it's just a moment and like that the piece that I feel in knowing that this time round is just It's just, it's so different.I feel like, I hope this can give any mum sat there watching this with a child that's about to have their second or, you know, even if you're about to have your first, like, just Like, it's gonna be okay.Especially if you're going from that job from one to two and you're f***ing terrified like I was.I know I'm only two weeks into it and I know I've not hit that hard stage yet where, like, they're both, like, crazy.Even if it's just the first two weeks have been so, so, so utterly different, like, that is good enough for me because I really, really needed to heal from that first time and I truly feel like I've been able to do that this time.

I do feel...I do feel...

I feel healed.

Honestly, one thing about me, can't have a serious moment.I can hear the word newborn now and the shudder does not go down my spine.Like that's how I used to feel like when I used to think of Bambi.And it's sad, it's sad that I had that with Bambi and I feel guilty, but equally, I saw this TikTok the other day and it made me feel like, wow, that's so true.It's like, you just feel guilty that your first, like, had to experience you learning how to be a mum with them, but i don't know i wouldn't change anything for the world i've got my two absolutely beautiful children i wouldn't change anything for the world everything happens for a reason but i'm gonna bring this vlog to a close because my camera's overheating i need to leave but i also do want to introduce you to Midas so i will try and insert a part at the end of this vlog he's asleep right now with my mum and so i'm definitely definitely not disturbing him it's over a week since i filmed that video now i'm so annoyed at myself because i didn't close it off properly it's actually taken me a week to be able to get a second to actually pick my camera up and again just close this video off i'm actually not like i'm just literally bringing it to a close i didn't i haven't had a chance to like sit down with minus and show you but equally you're gonna see him in a lot of vlogs i just feel

life and he's in my life now So but another week down and another week a little update still feeling really good Bambi's just having her nap over there Tommy's also having a little nap next to Midas downstairs.I'll just show you But so far so good.Today's Father's Day.It's a happy Father's Day if you're watching this on Father's Day and been sat next to him editing and I've literally just run upstairs to grab my camera so I've been with him the whole time.Another week down since I last spoke to you and still feeling really great.Update on the breastfeeding though is that I have been pumping a lot more and doing a lot more bottles via pumping and I have now introduced a little bit of formula which has definitely been good for me and i've still been enjoying like being able to do the breastfeeding but also having that kind of balance of being able to lean on tommy as well and also tommy's confidence this time with the newborn is like mental we've just been at church this morning my list was quite unsettled and i didn't even have to do anything like did you tommy just had it under control normally i feel like with bambi i'd have like taken bambi off of him but i've got i've got it like a control freak but i think because i'm then like tending to bambi Genuinely just it makes you just like have to let go and be like nope dad's caught it I've sure I mean like it's like one adult per child and But if you can't wait to come back with the vlogs bear with me I will vlog and be back as soon as I can see you in my next video