It’s never been easier to cheat at betting and investing.

Who are you?You're not going to believe this, but I just time traveled from the year 2026, and I have every major news story from the last few years on this phone.I'm going to make a ton of money just betting on different world events.OK.First things first, right here today, I'm going to invest in U .S.

steel.Yeah, buddy, we're all doing that.Well, how would you know that?You're not a time traveler, too.I follow the president on True Social.Today, he announced a deal that would keep the steel business in America and add 70 ,000 jobs.

This is what I get for muting the word Trump on my news feed.Is everybody doing this?Yeah.Look at these graphs.It happens every single time he posts on True Social about this.Posts?

Reaction.And it's legal?I don't know.Why don't you time travel to the Oval Office and find out?You know what?I will.

Mr. President, we think that we should charge investors for instant access to your market -moving posts on True Social.I like it.Excellent.We've already pitched some trading firms on this.Is it legal?I don't know.

We'll just have our spokesperson say that there's no conflict of interest, and then it'll be true.Great.Hey, you're in my shot.Sorry.Is he about to give a speech?

Yes.I remember this one.I bet I could bet on the words he's gonna say.No, don't do that.That's what I do.

You?The guy who runs the teleprompter?But you work for him.Technically, my job is deputy assistant to the president and technical advisor.Okay, and you're making bets on what he says before he speaks because you have the whole transcript?Yep.

Is that legal?I mean, it's not like anyone's gonna find out about this, right?I gotta go.

Okay, I know this one.It's the FIFA World Cup.I bet you that before Spain raises the trophy in the air, Trump is still on stage trying to get in the photo op, like Michael Scott at Phyllis' wedding.Yeah, I already made that bet.Because a year ago, he did the same thing during the FIFA Club World Cup.Shoot.

I got one more stop to make.See ya.Oh, it really did happen!Excuse me?We're in the middle of a photo shoot.Who is this guy?

What were you guys even doing this photo shoot for?It's for a charity, and this baby's family won the drawing.

I can't believe it's not AI.AI?Do you think these people are robots?

You better watch out, Messi, or that baby's gonna beat you in the World Cup.A baby in the World Cup?That's ridiculous.See you in 20 years.