Jim Davidson: 230 Person Mega Migrant Boat Arrives in UK!

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends welcome aboard lady Natasha here in Bembridge I've come over I brought her over on my own and accompanied by my son -in -law and his wife my daughter Wyndham and Sarah they've got a v48 which is Rafted up alongside me here.I'm just looking at the At that some of the news that's going on and it's all about the sea, isn't it?This is just after Nigel and Zia are saying they will be able to stop the boats.And Lee Anderson has been across there and had a little look already.I don't see anything coming from the Conservatives saying how they're going to stop the boats.I don't know.

Labour don't really want to stop the boats, do they?They want to bring more people in to vote Labour all the time.But now let's have a look.230 people.I've got a picture of it here.Oh, my God.

230 people.Migrants, invaders on a boat.And this is just not a dinghy.This thing is as big as a judo mat.It is.It's huge.

They're saying it's the same amount of people that can get on a 737.Well, this is just not happening it shouldn't happen it's fucking awful awful what happens if one of them kills over one of them look let's have a look at the weather in the channel today let's have a look at dover okay today is a a north uh easterly north easterly wind 16 to 17 mile an hour, 17 mile an hour all the way across, so it's going to be pretty flat.And one of those dinghies, if it gets a chop up there, I swear to God, that's going to flip over and people are going to die.So it's right, we could pick them up and take them back to the nearest place of safety.So if wepick them up early enough, thinking, look, that's going to sink.

You're not safe driving this.There's no look out.Where's the engine?Where do you steer it from?At the back.So you've got 230 heads in the way of what you're going to crash into.

It's crazy.How do you steer a thing like that?How do you...A following sea would just tip that straight over, wouldn't it?So they need to be rescued and taken back to France, whether the French like it or not.That's what's gonna fucking happen.

There's not much else in the news really, apart from Rod Stewart's got green grass in his back garden out there.He must have been putting the old hose on.It's ridiculous.It is so hot.It's lovely here in Bembridge.We went out last night to a pub in Bembridge.

A South African guy runs it.The food was great.And he did a quiz.And the quiz was the hardest quiz.Seriously, it was harder than University Challenge.And I told him the idea of a quiz.

I didn't tell him.I told the people.around me.The idea of a quiz is that you nearly get the hang of it.You think, oh, I know that one.But no, it's ridiculous.

Right, nothing else is in the news at all apart from the fact that Andy Burnham is going to go around the country and find out what people want.Surely he knows what the people want in this country already, doesn't he?Another fact -finding tour, another little jaunt around with his black T -shirt and his little swagger.Nice enough guy, but come on.He's got to stand there in the House of Commons soon and face Kemi Badenoch, and she's gonna rip him a new ass.I'm sure of that.

Okay, now talking of Rod Stewart, it says here, Rod Stewart, 81, rocker, pulls out of another concert due to unforeseen medical issue.Well, at 81 years of age, Rod, what are you doing concerts for?You've got more money than fucking God.Stop it.We all love you.We do love Rod Stewart, don't we?

Fantastic bloke.We love his wife, of course.Oh, this is interesting.James English went from a reality TV and dating Gary Katona to interviewing Chris Crime Lord Daniel Kinahan.This is this guy, Daniel Kinahan.He's an Irish guy who is allegedly running some big drug bust cartel.

You bet your ass he ain't doing it.They just like to capture big name people.Oh, he's lording it up in Dubai.We better fucking capture him.We don't want him having a good time.Happened to a friend of mine as well years ago.

Still a friend.called me the other day, he's known as the Milkman.And he said, they're going to do a podcast on me, the Irish Inquirer and some other, ITV or someone or BBC are doing a Podcast about the milkman.I can't wait to hear their absolute bollocks Well, there you go folks.So here in Bembridge going back to the handball Tomorrow high tide you need to get out of there high tide because there's a bar you've got to get over So I'll speak to you a bit then.Bye in 1975 I went and did an audition for opportunity not with Huey Green and he said well you go away and practice So that was nearly the end of it all Until I went for the audition for New Faces.

Jim Davidson, 98.Jim Davidson, 95.

I was told by the stage manager, Les Cox, the producer, wants to see you.

Jim Davidson, 100.

And he shook my hand and he said, I liked your act, son.Can you do March the 9th?