LIFE POSTPARTUM | VLOG | MOLLYMAE

this situation is that I've just actually put the blind down.Whose smart idea was it to get a sheer blind?Like what is the purpose of a sheer blind?

It literally is doing absolutely nothing.

Okay, not the angle that I was really going for, but hello guys.Welcome back to my channel.My lips are so dry.I get this thing at the minute when, well it's not at the minute, it's been happening for years.You guys know I suffer with chronic dry lips, but especially after I brush my teeth in the morning, they go like cement.It's like I, as I told you guys before after this thing where I'm like, Like I have to stretch them out, especially after brushing my teeth.

Does anybody else get that?It's so bizarre.It's like all the moisture gets literally sucked out of them.I never used to suffer with chronic dry lips, but it's just over the last couple of years.I don't know, verbal diarrhea.I don't know if it's because I don't have lip filler anymore.

Plot twist, did the lip filler hydrate my lips?I don't know.Anyway, welcome back to my channel.I hope you're all doing very, very well on this scorching hot day.It's gonna be 30 degrees again today.I actually said to Tommy last night, like, I am really, I saw this TikTok the other day, it said eight weeks until autumn, and I'm sorry.

I am sorry, but bring it on, because I can't take it no more.Like, I literally, I'm not built for the heat.I've said it a million times, if you're not someone that likes to get your body out, get your legs out, get every orifice of your body out, then the heat is just, it's not fun.Like, I'm wearing literal cargo pants right now, and it's 30 degrees, because over my dead body will I be getting my legs out for anyone?which is a problem, like it's a me problem and it's silly.I've got the most exciting day today.

I actually, finally, I'm getting my hair done.Now this, this is the most excited I've been for a hair appointment maybe ever because I would go as far as to say that my hair has actually been knocking my confidence badly recently.I actually went to Wimbledona couple of days ago and a lot of the pictures from Wimbledon I couldn't even look at or like I was at my hair it literally looks like it's either been dip -dyed on braid like because my root is that bad especially in the style it was at Wimbledon like it literally looked like my bun was yellow and my actual hair was black like today is the day of the hair transformation and I am so so excited I'm actually going to someone completely new I'm getting my extensions back in today, I'm getting my colour done, it's going to be a great day.I've got so much to update you on, obviously I've had Wimbledon since I last saw you, which was unbelievable.Met so many cool people in the day that I went on the Evian suite, like there were so many cool people in there, like I met Alex Earl, I met Stassi, Perry was with me on that day which was just hilarious.

One thing about me and perry is that if we're together like we're gonna be in tears laughing actually i'm gonna be in tears laughing because i don't make her laugh anywhere near as much as she makes me laugh but she is just hands down one of the funniest people I've ever met.Every single thing that comes out of her mouth makes me want to cry laughing.Wimbledon was absolutely fab and the day before Wimbledon I actually had my six weeks, even though it wasn't six weeks, check up with my obstetrician, which I still don't know if I'm saying that word right, but it's like the lady that was with me when I gave birth to Midas and Bambi.and basically we were speaking about contraception and I ended up randomly on that day getting the coil fitted like that was just really random and also made it my whole personality I think I told every single person in that Wimbledon suite that had the coil fitted including Alex L and Stassi which they didn't ask about um but you know when like you're just talking and then next thing you know I was like telling them the fact that I had like a coil fitted and I think I think I will now think about that every single night that I go to bed you know when you get into bed and you think to yourself like what why why did I say that or like every single thing that you've done that day replays over in your head and like you literally just question your life that is me but particularly after the Wimbledon day because I literally went to bed and thought why did I say that why did I do that like I ammortifying.Obviously because I did that with them, I need to do it with you guys as well.

So I had the coil fitted.I had one called the Eileena?It's not the copper coil, it's a different one, it's one that's gonna last five years.And I was terrified about getting it because I've heard such horror stories about people saying like it absolutely kills and people literally faint and people need like gas and air.And there's one person that's gonna have all of those things happen to them because I've got such a low pain threshold.It's me, like yes I have pushed out two babies but I had an epidural for both and there was no epidural with this.

But I'm not gonna lie, I don't know what it says about me and that region for me that I did not feel a thing.I think it's just because I've just had a baby that it was the perfect time to do it.But my lady was like, just get it.Like, it's literally gonna be amazing for you because I've tried the pills in the past, tried a few different pills.If you've been here for a really, really long time and you really watch my videos, then you'll know that I, there was a period of time where I was trying the pill and it just wasn't working for me.It was breaking me out.

I was really, really hormonal.I was emotional all the time.So yeah, I've decided to get the coil and I will let you guys know how I get on with this.So far, So good, I'm only on like a couple of days in now, but I'm not feeling any like weird hormonal sudden changes, which is good.I have had, oh there's a spider there, lovely.I have had my first period since birth the other day.

That's why it was a good time to, basically all the stars aligned because my appointment was like at a time when I'd just finished my period and like she checked me, everything was looking good after birth and she was like, I really think this is just a great time to do it.And I really wanted to get on some form of contraception because the last thing we need right now it's another pregnancy like it would be a blessing of course but it's just not like i need i think i'm done anyway with the children but anyway the other thing i was going to say was whilst i'm on my verbal diarrhea intro eight minutes in is that my first period after birth genuinely was so so so bad to the point where i messaged my midwife saying that i thought i was hemorrhagingI have never experienced anything like that and as a girl that's had endometriosis I know what a heavy period is like and that was like something I've never experienced.It was literally like at points I thought if this carries on like I'm gonna bleed out and that's not gonna end well.So yeah, first period after birth was absolutely savage.Finished that a few days ago.

Now I've got the coil and I'm a brand new woman and I went to Wimbledon and that's pretty much all the updates.I'm getting my hair done and it's hopefully gonna be a good day.Let me show you my hair before I get it done.I'd say it's actually the thickest and healthiest it's been maybe ever.to be honest with you, but I would expect so, because look at the blooming root, look at all that new hair.But yeah, it's actually not grown in length loads.

I don't know actually, because when I had the bob cut, the bob was literally cut, God, the ends are actually really dry, I'm gonna need to go cut.The bob was literally in line with my jaw.I kept getting shorter and shorter and shorter, if you guys remember, because I felt like to look cooler, I needed to go shorter.Listen, I did love the bob, but yeah, it's not grown loads in length, but in terms of like quality and thickness, like it feels, A lot better I did, it was beautiful I love you very, very much Seven years of us The big seven This is when people say that relationships normally crumble Why are you saying that?

Oh God, touch the wood will you, my God Babe, it's called a joint Here you are, say that Here you are Got me after seven years I feel honoured, privileged, the luckiest man on earth And you just want to show off how big your arm looks but by doing it with that angle If you want to show how big my arm is, I just do this.

Right.And do you feel in love?Depends.I'm not going to lie, I'm not really that's what I was looking for.Are you looking forward to seeing me with my new hair later?

Yeah, but that won't be on camera.

I don't know where my phone is. I can't find the place to phone.

Mum, are you ready to step up to your childcare duties today?Are you ready to go?

Yes, I can tell.

Are you ready to F this ish ask?Wait hold that thought I don't know why you didn't do this for me this morning We makes no coffee every morning at the minute And I also want to be the one that makes up and makes everyone a copies everyone's ready for the morning Why are you doing that for me today?

Because I woke up and I had other things to do today.I don't know what's up with you today I'm going shop because I've got 45 minutes get to the shop get back cut my breakfast and leave for ballet.What are you doing?Doing you are you cutting down on me time look?

I want a time sketch look I want to find a way to my natural color into my blonde while still being like bright, so I'm likeextensions to be like nice and blonde.So this is like so dark for me, but I still want my roof to be Not there, but like, I just kind of don't want it to be like, all that's gone from the roof.I still want to be bright.

So, I feel like if you just have highlights before it kind of, and then we're going to block it, so then you end up with like, a solid roof, but then solid gone.

Right.

Like where the issue is.

Yeah.

So if we do some background baby lines.It still brightens everything up.

Right, we've got some more to go, because I'm really, like, look at the regrowth on that.This is the dark, this is the most my hair's ever grown out.Like, it's never been like this before, but it's also the healthiest it's been.Like, the ends are dead, but it's thick.Yeah you have, it's thick but I think when we put the extensions in we're going to have to thin it a bit because otherwise we're going to have to put so many in.What's the difference between the baby lights and normal highlights?

It's thinner, so you still get the brightness but you don't get a block of that.So you still get some sort of dimension, a gradient.a little bit trickier because we're basically converting from highlights to baby lines.

And also we're also converting me from a half brunette.It looks like it's dip -dyed.My hair looks like it's dip -dyed.Is it not?

It's just a little ombre.

Literally, ombre.

Yeah, so to be honest, in the middle, I'm probably going to pack more like highlights in, but that's in the middle.

Okay, kind of like that.Can you see how it's like blonde, but she's still got like some depth at her roots, so it's not like kaput.It's not like completely, what do you think?

Yeah, I like that, but how do you, how would you do that?

How do I do it?Yeah, like that, but a little bit.

Hold it and zoom in.

No, yeah, like the brightness, the brightness, no, that's perfect really.Oh yeah, that's nice.Here's one I did earlier.Okay guys, hair reveal coming in three, two, one.two, what am I doing?Three, two, one, ta -da!

Who is she?Who is that girl in the viewfinder?I don't know her.I actually completely forgot like what it feels like to have extensions to be anything other than just a literal dip, dye, root.Like my root got so bad to the point where it basically looked ombre.I honestly I could not be happier.

Mum and Tommy just said exactly what I wanted the reaction to be.They were like, it's still so blonde but it looks so much more natural.And I was like, that's exactly what I was going for.You see how basically my natural colour is still there and it's like broken up through the blonde because the last few times I've had my hair done, as much as I've loved it, it's been like Icy white blonde basically from the root down and it's just when when it then grows out it creates that really harsh Line which is then like really hard to maintain and it's just yeah, basically I just needed like a more maintainable blonde But I still wanted it bright and I feel like I genuinely don't think he could have nailed it anymore if he tried and my extensions I had bombs pin and I have never had Neater bonds done in my entire life like they're literally done in like perfect rose perfect section.So I Basically, I couldn't be happier.I feel like I'm getting a little bit of my sparkle back.

I've still got a long way to go, but for five weeks postpartum, I will take it.So you just gave me the exact feedback that I was looking for, that it's still bright blonde and looks...But it's not too much.Yeah, it's not like in your face.It's still...Like, look at that.

My rooty colour's still broken up through it.

Do you want to show everyone your new teeth?

Yes.

Go on then.

Because she's made it her whole identity.She got teeth done.She got veneers.

a bit closer.I've got turkey teeth She's got a set of turkey nashes on her smile.I've got composite bonding.

No, they actually look really nice I did I did say my personal feedback was that I felt like there could be a few more grooves in there I did ask her to groove them, but she didn't quite get that No, she didn't she might get the assignment of the grooves.They they look slightly more natural TT than I would like.Okay.Do you know what TT is?Tucker T. Yeah, correct.But, do you know what?

I feel like they actually look great.

Thank you.

I didn't have faith that you were going to be able to do that one by yourself.

Whenever I do anything to myself, like brows or lashes or a bit of filler or a bit of Botox or anything.You're outing yourself in.

I don't care.I'm honest.How old are you?

I'm nearly 60.

Oh, she's made her whole identity.You are always very worried worried about anything at all that i'm going to even if i say i'm going to go to the hairdressers she's like oh god mom don't get your hair too short do you know what it is i think because i've made so many mistakes with things that i've done to myself like i got teeth done that I absolutely hated, I've had filler done that I've absolutely hated and the last thing I'd want is for you to do something when I could pre -warn you and say just to let you know like I did that and it didn't go well for me so maybe try and do it this way but one thing I use once you set your mind on something she's like me once you set your mind on something it's happening and no matter what we could say we could say you are literally going to fall down dead on the floor if you get that but I'm gonna do it anyway You're like me, you don't like to be defeated, you don't like to be proven.

You said to me, wrong, you said we talked to Taylor about the whole teeth thing, and I did, and I asked her advice, and she said, I'm gonna give you some advice, but I know you're gonna do it regardless.Yeah, I know you're not gonna listen, and she said to you, don't do it.

But everyone that's seen your teeth actually really like them.I think your top ones in particular look really nice and natural.It's been long -awaited.Are you happy with them?Yeah, I think they look great.that's getting cropped out just that's getting cropped out and also do you want to know the best part is is that i've actually i'm tanned so that just goes to show

how tanned my mum is.My mum is another level.You've come back from holiday.

I've just come back from Crete and I used the filter mist, the white, the one in the big glass.Spritz me.So that's not even a real tan.

This is Crete with some Spritz Me regularly.I recommend that we don't use Spritz Me because we don't need it.Spritz Me is when you want to add tan.You've already got a great tan.But look at my legs.Let's not add.

Love Spritz Me, by the way.

It's a great product.

But you don't need to use it when you've already got a very deep tan.

Oh, look, look.I've got a proper Sula.Right.Off to bed you go.

Look at my Sula.

My menopausal Sula.Right.I'm going up to the sauna.Yeah, goodbye.

I'll be very surprised if she makes it out.And on that note, I'm just going to be a puddle.Just put your hand like that and go, goodnight.Goodnight.

Hello guys, how are we doing?I do apologise, it's quite a substantial amount of time since I last checked on in this vlog.So much of a large amount of time that I've probably regained roots in my hair now.I definitely don't look as fresh as I did in the last section of the vlog with my hair.It is very greasy.I've actually put it to blow -dry for tomorrow night, I think it is, but I just haven't been able to find the time to vlog in literally over a week now, which is just so annoying.

Every time I go to grab my camera, it's just...I'm definitely struggling to vlog when I'm in, like, mum mode, and that is 24 -7 at the minute, obviously, because we have a six -week -old, and I'm currently watching my... three -and -a -half -year -old fight her nap in bed playing with her dolly.Let me speak to her.Bambi, please put the baby down, otherwise I'm gonna have to come in and get her.It's a ten -minute nap, Bambi, and then I'm gonna come and get you.Yeah, sorry I haven't been able to check in any sooner.

I've just been, life has been really hectic.Still got red nails, so it has not been that much time, but they are quite grown out now, and my one job that I'm desperate for today is to go and get my nails done, because we're actually going on our firstfamily holiday of four in two days and this is my last chance today to get bits and bobs done that I need to get done for that.It was actually meant to be a nursery day today but I haven't updated you guys on like so many things I would normally update you on just because there's been so many big life events happening that I feel like the smaller things I've kind of been forgetting about.I am also going to change location soon I'm very aware I've been in my dressing room for the last big section of the vlog.But basically Bambi has developed massive separation anxiety over the last, I'd say, four months.

It was going on actually before Midas was born.Actually, no, how long has it been?It's probably been about three months of separation anxiety, I'd say.I know a lot of you are straight away gonna jump to being like, it's because she's got a baby brother and there's so many things that have changed in the house.And whilst I think that's probably added some maybe like it's contributed slightly I do actually think it's not to do with Midas because you know when you just know your own child and I'm like I know that's not the reason like because it was going on before he was here I actually think part of the reason was when Tommy went into camp for his last fight and she's so so addicted to her dad like she's so obsessed with him that like him being away for camp quite a bit I think that really was the turning point of like I don't know, kind of understanding that sometimes your parents, like, have to go for work, and I think she just really, really struggled with that.And basically, to get to the point, nursery has become a massive, massive hurdle for us that she's really not enjoying anymore.

In terms of when she's actually there, she loves it, but the drop -off is so traumatic.It's like we've gone back to this is so weird me even saying this because she's always like been amazing with nursery like apart from at the very very start when like kids are just getting used to same as every other like I feel like child that starts nursery they just get used to it and she used to cry at the door a bit but now it's we've gone right back to the start and inso so traumatic and we drop her off like we have to literally prize her off of us and they pass her over to the teacher and she talks about it all week how she doesn't want to go doesn't want to go she doesn't want to go to any of her classes she doesn't want to go to tumble tots she doesn't really want to go to baby ballet she doesn't she literally does not want to do anything that like Is leaving the house even if she's with me and taught me like her classes She's just not really bothered and also like obviously having all of this on top of a newborn that needs like your undivided attention And all of it's just we're just juggling which I'll get over here, but I just yeah, sorry.I've oh she's falling asleep now Sorry, I've not really been um bringing you guys along on like that kind of stuff just because it's just a it doesn't ever it never really feels right to just whip out my camera and just start filming when I'm like busy and with the kids and I'm trying to Figure out being a mom of two like earlier literally an hour ago I was like cooking Bambi's lunch with Midas in the in the carrier because he had hiccups Bambi was like running the halfway down the driveway because we've got builders back in today and it was just absolute carnage and like I'm cooking over a hot stove with the baby on my chest and it's like first of all I feel like a superhero because like I basically give myself a pride of Britain and second of all just a bit savage isn't it it's a little bit savage but It's okay.We're holding down the fort just about going to be going to get my nails done this afternoon I'm really looking forward to that.It's like my little treat to myself.

Yeah, she can't wait to get these red nails off And anyway, I'll try and just show you guys a little bit more of what's going on.I'm really epically failing, but I'm missing work.So So much like I can't even tell you how much I am gagging to get back to work basically like I don't know if that makes me a terrible mom, but Just I don't know like I need I normally have my normal schedule is like two days In the office with the maybe team and then the rest of the week I'm just like doing my bits and bobs like shoots working with brands like content all of that stuff and I'm absolutely like chomping at the bit to just get back doing a bit more of that stuff because but equally I've gothow old is he now, six weeks, seven weeks, seven week old, like I don't wanna be selfish, I don't wanna like go back to work too soon, but equally like that is just my sanity, like that is my, does make me so happy and I am really, really missing it.Massively I did the exact same with Bambi I planned to give myself like a really long maternity leave and then I'm like no I need to go back.I need to I need to just I don't know I just love it so much.

I love my work.Anyway, I'm going to whilst they're both sleeping get a quick shower Sort myself out.

A bit of skincare before Bambi wakes up from her nap.

Starting off strong Medi -Q paw pads.I like the the Mild ones.Clarins double serum.Absolutely love this even though my pump's broken We've done a double serum, but I'm gonna go in for a triple serum.This is the Triple Collagen Serum from Medicube.Another favorite of the minute.

Three pumps, all of the serums.Moisturizer, La Mer Moisturizing Soft Cream.I'm absolutely loving this.This is the Rode Glazing Mist.Someone bought this for me for my birthday, and I will definitely be repurchasing this.I'm obsessed with it.

I think even on top of makeup, it adds such a nice glow.Skincare on.Now I'm going to go and tie my hair up in a nice slick back ponytail.Got my extensions back in one weekend and I'm already doing a slick back again.Just sums me up.Obviously what else would I be wearing in 28 degree heat?

I've got on some black slouchy bottoms from Treats, a gorgeous vest top from Maybe, which I absolutely love, and some black flip flops from Fancy Pants.These are from Christopher Ebser that Fran got me for my birthday.There she is.Just pulled up to get my nails done.Goodbye to the red.I'm actually going to get my extensions back on, like my almond.

I basically want to feel as good as I can feel for this holiday.But when I'm on holiday, it'll be seven weeks postpartum, and I want to feel cute, as cute as can be, basically.I've been craving this outing all week.It's Friday today, and I've been looking forward to this all week.I just really need this.

A few moments later.

My mood, my mood is not even worth talking about.I've just tried to get my nails done and my usual salon that I go to is basically there's like a queue out of the door for nails.And then I tried to go to a different place a few doors down and it's the exact same there.I think maybe school's broken up today, but I thought they had a couple weeks left.He was like, come back later.I was like, I don't have childcare later.

It's not a problem, by the way, very, very aware.This is literally like not even an issue, but it's just, I was really looking forward to that.Bam, bam, you just do your hair and then I will literally leave you be.

Wait there, Bamboo.Show me how he cries.

Boy, come to Planet Play.How can I help you today?

You're joking.

Yeah.Where's she been?Okay.Yes, please.Hello Jelly Bean, where did you go on your holiday?Did you kiss Jelly?

Yeah but be very careful with her.Why?Because she's brand new.Okay.Do you want to have a look at her?Yes please.

Do you want to look at her sticker?Oh yes.Look at it.Look at it.Look at it.At it.

Oh it's lovely, she's got a little badge.

Yeah because she did so well at London.What?January, February, March, June, April, May, June, July and August.september, october, november, december, these are the months of the year.my baby brother, my daughter is called molly, mummy to you thank you very much.

i will get that burp out of you.he loves you.you're not gonna burp for me now.you're not gonna burp.greetings.hi.

would say I'm nailing a few things in life right now I'm nailing a few things in life but vlogging is not one of them hello everybody it's been a substantial amount of time since I checked in on this video which is just so irritating because one of my biggest goals in life and like one of the things I love doing most is keeping you guys updated and I've been epically epically failing I just I'm really struggling to find a second and find like a convenient correct time to pick up my camera and you guys inform anyway I'm not gonna dwell on it too much.The forehead skin, what?I have just put on Clarins Double Serum and Medicube, like the Salmon Sperm Serum, I can't remember the name of it, on top.You can actually see the reflection of the window on my forehead.I am literally, oh and I also did a Medicube pore pad.I'm not gonna lie, I am taking that.

That is a win.That's one thing I'm winning at right now is the skin.The skin is skinny, but that's just because I just got back from Greece.We did our first family holiday as well.to Greece.It was meant to be, funny story, it was meant to be a little romantic Getaway for me and Tommy but the thought process behind it I don't think he thought about the fact that we were literally gonna have a seven -week -old the last time I checked in I had a five -week -old I think that just goes to show how much I'm not winning with vlogging at the minute.

But anyway, I thought Now would be an interesting time to try and pick up my camera and try and bring you guys along this afternoon because because Name the film it could let in a draft.It could let in a child.I'm doing my first nursery pickup with both children like I yeah I'm I'm basically help free this afternoon Tommy's in Thailand for a boxing fight that Tyson has he's literally gone for one night he's flown to Thailand for one night and then he's flying back so he's literally going to be home when's he home Sunday morning um so it's literally just he's legitimately gone for one night that's the maddest thing ever um however yeah so this afternoon I am doing nursery pick up with with Midas, I'm actually going to meet a friend at Pizza Express, we're going to go for dinner because I'm going to be so honest with you, trying to keep it as honest as possible, like, I am terrified, like, the concept of having both of them is, like, at the same time, is still something I'm getting used to, I'm doing it in small increments, like, an hour here, two hours there, like, really, I've really pulled in, like, family members, people around me to kind of, like, I don't know, I'm just trying to ease myself in, because, like, I'll be honest, like, it really does terrify me, and, like, if I could, this sounds bad, but if I can avoid doing it, have been, call me a bad parent like if I can avoid having them both just because what I think what it is I know for a fact I'm gonna be fine when Midas is like a few weeks older he's just at a stage now where he is still brand new he's literally seven weeks old and he just needs like 24 -7 care and I'm trying to get him into a little bit of a routine with his naps a little bit of a routine withhis bottles I'm really trying to like Not let him get overtired.Like I know everyone says oh this when you have your second baby and you've got a toddler You really kind of have to like let be free and like let the routine like kind of go out the window No, like not on my watch like not the one thing that's not gonna happen in this house It's a routine is not gonna go out the window because the only thing that literally got me through With Bambi at this stage was a routine and if we don't have routine.I Yeah, I just for me like it's absolutely essential that he's like in his routine and that I I will be sleep training him.

I know it's like something not everyone agrees with but I slept train Bambi and she sleeps 12 hours a night completely completely uninterrupted like I think I can count on one hand the amount of times that Bambi's needed me to go into her in her lifetime.We did sleep train her and we like kind of our lives revolved around the naps and it's not something that every parent agrees with, it's not something that every parent wants to do but personally for us that worked and having a really really strong routine is what I plan to do with Midas as well if I can but obviously having another child does complicate... anyway I'm talking rubbish.I found that when he was doing his naps like in a bright light space and when and there was like not like basically as he's gotten a bit older and like the weeks are ticking by he's um just becoming more aware and like he can't nap like the same way an adult would struggle to nap in a bright room with like normal noise going around him like he's he was doing that at the start like newborns do and now he naps a lot better in a dark space um in his cot i've got his breathing monitor on him and i've got a camera on him and i literally i walk around the house like this he's already back awake Yeah, he's a black and white.Just go leave him for a minute and let him see if he gives up.settle, which isn't going to happen.I have a question.

Why does the nanny monitor not come with a monitor?Make that make sense.Why do you, like, why does the nanny not come with an actual monitor?Like, what's the whole point of having a baby monitor?Like, basically the monitor is your phone and you watch it on your phone, but I don't know.I like having a physical monitor.

I like...Say, for example, you have the nanny and your child's sleeping in the other room.Like, you have to buy the monitor separately.Is that normal?Maybe it's normal.But all the monitors I've ever had, you buy the whole thing.

It's like a package and you have, like, a screen that you watch them on.Because, like, say he wasn't a newborn and he was a toddler, how are you meant to, like, glance over and check them in the night?Like, I literally check the monitor out for Bambi, like, constantly through the night.Like, whenever I wake up, I'm always checking the monitor.So, what, every single time you... want to check on your child and the night you have to turn your phone on?Or does everyone know that you have to buy the monitor separate and that was just a me mistake?

Trying to self -settle but I don't think it's going to work because he's due a bottle in like 20 minutes so basically the closer to bottle time is resettling, like it's not fun.Basically, it's okay.We're staying calm and we'll just see what he does.The question is, do we think I'm going to be able to have a shower with him in the bouncer?Let's test it out.Let's see.

No, friends, we're not gonna talk about it.That day.where I said I was gonna vlog with it being just me and the kids I went to Pizza Express with Bambi and Midas and some friends and I actually can't even disclose what happened All I'm gonna say is that I thought Bambi was out of her aggressive era.I was very wrong and Headlocks were put in place not by me by her and it should have been by me Honestly, it was bad again about three weeks on now from when I last spoke to you I do feel like I just yeah, obviously we're in the depths of it right now, and I'm just Really you looking at me?I'm really just trying to keep my head above water basically I need to like give you updates and stuff, but we've just been like just dealing with stuff like with Felt like for a couple of weeks I just had reflux, so like we've been having like feeding specialists, osteopaths, all of this stuff.And I just really have struggled to find the right time to just bring you guys along and fill you in.

And I know you guys would totally understand.But this vlog, vlog?This vlog is, what?Like, what?It's literally just consisted of me saying I'm sorry I'm not vlogging.That is such great content for you to enjoy.

Anyway, I'm in denial that my baby still fits in his newborn clothes.He's, how old are you now?Eight weeks, nine weeks.I literally lose track of time.Shall we try and have a quick shower with you watching me, even though you're due your bottle?Why not?

Might be pretty funny.Can I get a smile, my baby?Can I?I really think he looks like me, guys.Honestly, I really think he looks a lot more like me than Bambi did.And he's gonna have brown eyes.

Hello, chunky.Cut his face like that.night with his nail.

Oh, okay.Okay, let's move you.

I really, really think that he looks like me, and he's Zoe's twin.I'm sorry, but he's Zoe's twin.Okay, this is the set up.Baby, shower, can we make it happen?I'm feeling positive, I'm feeling good.Come on, just give me two minutes.

This is a fun little location.I feel like we've not, I've never sat here before.

I know, I know, I know, I know.It's here, it's here, it's here.

Where do I begin?Where do I begin?Every time I keep checking back in, So much life keeps happening.I know, honestly, broken record.I've just had a lot going on, and basically, because, as anyone that knows me will know, as I've said so many times in this vlog, like, I really am trying to establish a bit of a routine.Take a shot every time I say routine over the next few months.

I basically told everybody, don't expect to see me for the next few months whilst I establish my disease routine, because I've basically, I started, I kind of committed to the routine.Also people are going to probably tell me I'm feeding wrong and that he's like making clicking noises on the bottle.I know like it's a hot mess at the minute.We, I got taught a new way to give his bottle to him by a feeding consultant the other day and it was good but then I actually found that his clicking like that on the bottle was worse and I don't know I feel like I probably shouldn't be talking whilst I'm doing this because everyone's probably going to be analysing this right now but he's not got a tongue tie.Supposedly well, we're gonna get him checked checked again any issues that you're picking up on right now with how he's having his bottle and stuff like I'm very aware of it and we're trying to get to the bottom of His feeding and like he tucks his top lip in on the teeth like this So he's like not got a very good latch and he clicks a lot and like he really really gets upset when I try towind him so and he's very sticky so basically all the signs of reflux we think and but anyway I'm not gonna go into that too much because otherwise I'll be here until next week.

I basically told my friends and family don't expect to see me now until he's in a routine and I've got some order back in my life because I keep trying to do things that are too challenging like yesterday I really really forgot how much you just live in like a state of flight or fight when you have a baby at this age I feel like.Like yesterday my hands were just shaking like literally the whole entire day because I was so anxious.Just trying to like sort him and he was unhappy and just yeah.So it's basically why I haven't been vlogging guys just because I'm really just trying to figure each day out.and the other one happy that's currently out with her dad.What's the deal with having two kids and then never getting to spend any time with your partner because you're basically just doing two completely different things with the kids?

I will say the three and a half year age gap has been really, really great because I feel like Bambi was at a stage where she understood and I honestly do feel like I could sell a three and a half year age gap, it is great, but the only thing I will say is that they're doing, as any two children are, doing such different things on such different pages, like he's having three naps a day, she's barely having one now, and she's completely 24 -7 on the go, and he's obviously just needing completely different care, so we're finding it easier if we just kind of, one goes with one child and the other with the other, but then you don't get to spend any time together, and all those family weekends and family days,that you like picture in your head it's like actually that's not really the reality.I honestly miss you guys so much I've been posting a little bit more on TikTok which has been fun um because I feel like they're just really easy to make and I want to be present somewhere and it's not here right now because I'm just struggling to get out like good Quality long videos or any videos as a matter of fact and so I've been showing up on there a little bit more and in the comments everyone's like Respectfully where are you on YouTube like it's nice to see you over here, but where's the YouTube and I'm like oh?Gosh like I literally miss it so much, and I know once this video goes up.I'm going to promise my I'm gonna make a promise myself I'm gonna get back in a flow of it like I will find a way to make it happen But equally I know that you guys never put pressure on and I and I literally don't feel that but I just I hate not showing up on here.I don't have a muslin.

Should we use a t -shirt of mine?You're not gonna bully me out of not doing a burp, so you can get your bottle back, okay?Just so you know.What was that from?Imagine the fact that me and Tommy say, what's that from, that much, that now Bambi does it.She quotes films, says, mommy, what's that from?

She'll quote like all kinds, like Matilda, Shrek.Right, I'll speak to you guys in a bit.Right, anybody that wanted to know, we have fully moved over to the Lansinone.We were doing the teats on man bottles, but now we're just fully on these.They're meant to be good for refluxy babies.And I did notice a massive difference for the first few bottles of using this new teat.

And then I kind of feel like it went back to normal.But that's the thing.with, like, reflux.You can do things, but it just, like, masks the problem.It doesn't actually, like, cure it.It just, like, covers it up, but it's still there.

They still have, like, digestive issues.Why am I talking like I have a clue?Like, I literally don't have a clue.I'm just making it up as I go along, like I did first time round.If I was to do another five things that I think are worth your money, I would put these two things on.cosmetic console eye patches, specifically when they've been in the fridge, and a skinny confidential ice roller.

All I can say is, wow, wow, wow.Like, this combination together, chef's kiss.Like, when you're overstimulated, and you're hot, and you're bothered, wow, wow, wow.Let's do the bottles, but make it cute.This is gonna make me feel better whilst I do the mundane jobs of a Sunday.Let's...

I actually went to order these the other day, but they were all sold out, so I messaged Ashley and said, like, girl, Can you hook me up?I never really know where to put these but I just copied the picture and the picture Shows it that way.That's what I've done just to give you a little bit more realness as well I realized I was like halfway through telling you guys stories upstairs and then just like kept cutting myself off as per usual But basically yesterday we traveled down to my mum's house down south three -hour journey And we were meant to stay over the night and we met we're still meant to be down there right now I just keeping it real.I had a complete meltdown and just felt really out of my comfort zone felt like It's hard enough with Midas at home at the minute like just trying to feel like I'm I don't know doing a good job and just looking after him properly and I just felt like down at my family home.I just I just couldn't relax and he wasn't settled.I wasn't settled.

I literallyput Bambi in the car for a three -hour journey and Forgot to give her breakfast forgot to pack lunch forgot to give her even a bottle of water.I like Literally couldn't bear the mum I was yesterday because I was so in flight or fight my hands were literally like this all day I just you know those well in motherhood like you you my mum's out there will know those days where you just literally feel like a woman on the edge and Yeah, I just was like in complete flight or fight so anxiety -ridden and I just couldn't relax I just thought to myself I actually would rather put them both in the car like do the afternoon there we literally went there did the afternoon but I spent the whole afternoon in a dark room rocking you anyway because That's like the non perks that what's the downside the non perks the downside of like being so adamant with setting up a routine Again, which not everyone's gonna agree with because it does kind of rule your life and like I was literally everyone else's downstairs having a barbecue Which was the whole reason we went three hours and I was in a dark room trying to do his last nap of the day This is where the routine like does make you feel like a fool because I'm in a dark room and they're all downstairs having a barbecue like make it make sense and like me and Tommy were taking it in turns, but we were both just like I don't know.I think we were both just Just couldn't relax, basically.So we got in the car, came back, and then did the rest of the night here.We got back at, like, 11.

Um, which was quite good, actually, because that was, like, his, um, first, like, nighttime bottle.And then just carried on the night.And we actually ended up having a really good night.He stretched until 4 a .m.So we went from 11 until 4, and then from 4 until 7.

So, he is literally doing so well.And Bambi was a little angel, bless her.Like, she was just, ugh, honestly.I don't know, sometimes I'm, like, Newborns make toddlers seem at the start.I was like a newborn makes a toddler seem easy But now because like he's been a little bit trickier with like reflux II and all of this stuff that we've had going on I'm like, okayI'd take a toddler any day of the week.

I'm a newborn!I can't decide every day it changes.Oh my gosh, I've been waffling for eight minutes again.I'm sorry.I'm gonna put the bottles in the washing out and then I might even consider bringing this box to a close because this is quite frankly, like, I'm over it.Tommy just came home with Bambi with these for me!

Those are Navars.It's definitely brightened my morning, even though I was feeling fine.Like, I'm feeling good, but Little things like this always go a long way with me, like he knows.Bunch of flowers will never ever go amiss in this house with me.

That's the bottle machine.

Hi guys, I am just editing this vlog now and haven't filmed an outro.It's the end of the day that I was Flocking there and do you know what I actually will take today as a massive win He has been an angel today and BAM has been an angel and we've actually had a really really great day So I'm taking today as a massive win and considering that yesterday was a bit of a disaster with situation happened to go down to my mum's and But yeah feel much much better today and we try again soon.I am ready to spoke to a close amen praise be I'm so happy about that because WTF like WTF we're not gonna dwell on it and I hope you enjoyed it if that was even possible I love you all millions I cannot wait to be back on my channel but for now you might catch me on TikTok what should I even film on there like literally start off my deck also loving I know that a lot of my YouTube family is showing up for your tick -tock because I know a lot of you know that I've avoided tick -tock because of the comment section and how much it terrifies me and how like I stopped posting on there because the hate was just like the hate was I feel like tick -tock can sometimes be the new Twitter or X or whatever that app's called these days you know where Twitter used to get really catty and nasty I thought that's kind of what tick -tock became for me my comment section was just constantly negative and but so far I think I'm like maybe three or four tick -tocks in so farguys are all really big So nice, and I feel like there's a lot of you guys that are showing up for me over there So if you are I love you.Um, anyway guys, love you millions.I hope you'll see you all in my next video.

Bye