Lindsey Graham is Dead

We're learning that longtime Republican Senator Lindsey Graham has passed away.His office says he died on Saturday night after what they call a brief and sudden illness.

Lindsey Graham was the one to go?Yeah, sorry, I have to record all of this in an airport on the way to the United States because I'm doing a show there over the next month.Well, many shows.I'm not just doing one show.For a month, but yeah, I'm going to Canada or all those places But the point is that originally we were doing one because like Trump is looking like he's doing then it was retro colonel that looks like he was I have to get my voice down as well, but what the hell I didn't even look sick.I mean it looked old It looked older than what I remember it looking as, which is just that bad southern dandy.

But I'm really sad about the fact that all of these Republican great figures, that I seriously think there should be a quota permanently in the Senate.Well, I suppose there is because they're southern states, but there just always needs to be.one guy with drought, like Mitch McConnell is going as well, we really need a closeted homosexual from the South that you just know loves mint tulips and black suits.Like, that guy needs to be in the Senate.It just doesn't have the same character without it.Like, regardless of your politics, you have to agree with that, right?

Like, if there isn't a guy in there that looks like Colonel Sanders, it's not the US Senate.I'm sorry.It's just like, you have to keep up your appearances.This is very much like when you go to Japan and then the emperor comes in and says like, I have put the Deichi open.Like, it's just like, that needs to be there.So he's gone.

In case you didn't know who Lindsey Graham was, by the way, he was probably the biggest warmonger in the Republic, which is like a huge accomplishment.Massive.And it isthe same thing as here Americans just in case you don't know but we've got our own like closeted like one of them, and his name is Chris Pine, and the same thing.It's just like, oh, I love the big toys in the military.They always just need to go there to prove something, I think.

I don't know what it is, but yeah, anyway.So he was always there.He was always the warmonger over that.He was always the one that was just cheering on Trump first, right in the line.Yay, take them on in Iran.They need to be taught a lesson.

He was always there.And of course, Trump and Lindsey Graham go on very well, because they both had that flair for performance.It had exactly the same thing.I'm telling you, it's just Chris Pine if he was born on a cotton plantation.It's the same guy.They're hard to hate.

They're hard to hate.Don't you think?Every time he was awake, he was aimlessly doing fucked things.

Southern hospitality at all.

So yeah, like, you know, you can go look at his long -standing records But, you know, pro -Iraq war, of course he was.Pro -anything that Israel has ever done, ever, in fact, was just pouring it into the - I think you're all going hard now.And then, obviously, the Iran stuff.Every step of the way, every single time that Trump needed a defender, he would always be front and center on Fox News.Right out there in the Washington Post with his quote.Right, right next to him.

during the Venezuelan attacks, like no one was happier about that.I honestly think that he was happier about that than Marco Rubio was.It seems like that was his entire point of being in the Senate.He always seemed to claim that he was a maverick as well.He always had that John McCain, I'm not a Republican, Republican thing.And in a way, I suppose he was.

I suppose he was because he was just unbelievablyhawkish than the rest of them.Also it seems a bit strange that, like, I guess you can just have a heart attack out of nowhere but you don't have some health conditions that go around with it, yeah?The other thing that I do really remember about it was, you've all heard the rumour, right?That there was apparently some black male sex worker that claims that he had sex with the southern deity himself and apparently when he hangs with him and he's getting really raved he makes these like sounds like Mickey Mouse anyway anyway probably shouldn't talk about that like with the ill of the dead but it's just like look the thing was i do say this quite affectionately i you could not like a warmonger or more he just had that yeah it's it's something about it like where you just have that that same sort of smile you have with trump and just like oh lindsey so yeah it's just really really strange that all the republican titans one after the other just seem to be popping off like flies in the plague why now maybe allah's real maybe he's really pissed off that they went into iran Because why else is this happening?I don't get it.

In my mind, it always just seemed that, like, Trump would outlive all of us with his dot net of exclusively McDonald's and KFC, but I don't even know if he's gonna outlive Mitch McConnell.

And then, like, yeah, so, I don't know.It's just, like, I can't...

As an Australian, it's very hard for me to name any other Republicans off the top of my head.Um, that guy with the eye patch or something.Like, these are the real prominent figures in that party.and it's very strange that all the seniority are there until they die like it's the Supreme Court or the Senate of the Roman Empire which is a really odd phenomenon I've got it I don't remember the last time that somebody died in office in Australia I'm gonna have to double -check this but in terms of like a prominent figure man I think it would be like the 50s honestly I mean, yeah, people say like Harold Holt, but that doesn't really count, does it?Just in case Americans won't buy it.One of the strangest things that ever happened was once our Prime Minister just went out to sea and was like, he's not back.

I don't know where he went.And obviously a tide got him, but it's much more fun to think that a Japanese submarine got him.

So that's what everyone thinks.

Even though the timeline doesn't match up because it was well after World War II.Um, yeah, so.Don't really know what the Republican Party can do in terms of ammunition, I guess, is the word?Like, the thing is, Mitch McConnell, for instance, same thing, right?Like, Lindsey Graham's great strategy in life was getting the war machinery of the Pentagon to run, as in getting those power brokers together and actually getting some action done.Like, in terms of, like, what the Republican Party wants, which is just Endless wars, it seems.

Endless wars and endless Republican judges.Mitch McConnell was a weapon at putting in Republican judges.He's gone.I think.No one knows.Maybe.

Maybe he's just like in the Bermuda Triangle circling into an endless time vortex.Who knows?And then Lindsey Graham as well.Like, that really puts a spanner in the works if he's not there.And then of course, you know, once Trump's gone, how do you win elections after that?I'm telling you,

they're the three amigos.They are the most successful Republican entities that exist now, and they are senior as well.They're not around to raise the next generation.What?Honestly, let me know in the comments.Even when you were looking at them, you were thinking, but they're all so sprightly.

Especially Mitch McConnell walking around in a wheelchair, freezing bits sentenced as he realizes, my soul's getting sucked out of my jowls.