Matt Smith Joins Brittany Broski’s Royal Court

Welcome to Royal Court, the show where pop culture royalty compete for a spot on my trusted council.I'm your host and queen, Lady Brittany of House Broski, and today I'm joined by the face that launched a thousand Tumblr posts.Affectionately known as Westeros' number one Oasis fan, please welcome Lord Matt Smith.Hello.Good morning, good evening, and good night.Good night and good luck.

Good night and good luck.

Is this real?British garb you've got on?

Yeah, this is the way I roll, man.This is how I turn up to work every day.

Yeah, we didn't even provide anything.

Got my hat.I wear my shades indoors.

And I'm assuming you found dragon parking fine.

Yeah, fine.I parked him outside.Crax is there.I've tied him to a lamppost.

You know, we validate dragons now, so we'll get you a ticket on the way out.

Okay, great.Thank you very much.Yeah.

Okay, Matt, are you familiar with what we do to people here?

Yeah, I watch Lewis.

Okay, great.That's the one to watch.Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I watch Lewis.Yeah, yeah.So, I kind of am actually, yeah.

Okay, good.

It's great.

And it's your first time, so I'll be gentle.Thank you very much.You're so welcome.

Okay, good.

Thank you very much indeed.We were just saying - I am a bit nervous.First time jitters.All right.Lord Matt, are you ready for the trial set before you today?

Yes, indeed.I should take my shades off, shouldn't I?It's impolite to wear them indoors.

Without further ado, let the trials begin.

God, I need them, actually.Cross the line.You can put it back on.

You said you had to have a swear jar on set of the death of Bunny Monroe because of your nine -year -old co -star.

True.

What's your favorite swear word?

Cunt.Sorry, look, actually, I wore my swear socks today.I'll, like, wear them on the tube, and I'll be on the train, and there's, like, you know, some six -year -old, like, Mummy, what's a cockwomble?Don't worry, mate.That job cost me about 400 quid, cos I was swearing the whole time.So, by the end, he's nine, he's, like, great.

No, yeah, you made his life.Yeah.yeah, yeah.OK.He was amazing, that kid, as well.

Fish fingers and custard.

Yeah.Pretty important at Doctor Who.Yeah, yeah.

Is there an unconventional food combo that you really enjoy?Maybe a high snack.

Do you do jelly and ice cream in the States?

Absolutely not.

Yeah.That's quite nice.I'm kind of addicted to sugar, basically.So chocolate and ice cream.Diet Coke with ice on a hangover, that's, you know, that's quite basic.

So you're doing a diet Coke with ice and a chocolate bar?

Yes, and a chocolate bar.

Okay.

Yeah, like a Dairy Milk or a Galaxy.

Have you ever had chocolate milk?

Yes, I fucking, I have it daily.Honestly, there's this place called Supret, shout out Supret, near me, and it's, I get the best chocolate milk from Spain.

Incredible.

Yeah.Okay.It's a vibe.

And it's okay to drink chocolate milk as an adult.It is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Fuck yeah.

You are a Guinness enjoyer.

Yes.

A Guinness enthusiast.A Guinness enthusiast.Can you describe the taste of Guinness in three words?

Fucking beautiful every day.Although, no, I mean, to drink it every day would be a mistake, of course, but there's actually, like, a lot of iron in it.It's pretty good for you.I saw you pour one with Paul, didn't you?I did.And I have to say, I think you went for the right pour, which is just bang, straight in.

I agree.

Yeah.

He's the Irish one, too.

He's the Irish one, I know.

Figure it out.

Paul should know better.

I completely agree.You said your former co -star, Karen Gillum, used to describe you as a piece of liquid.

Yeah, she did.Yeah.She's like, yeah, she's like, you're like a moving piece of physical water.

Is it water or what kind of liquid are you?

Well, I mean, I don't know.I mean, I took it to be H2O, but it could be anything.It could be Guinness.

Probably Guinness.

It could be chocolate milk.It's probably a mix of the two.

Mmm, yummy.You've played a lot of noblemen in your career.

Yes.

But you've said you're the wrong one.class for Prince Philip.

I think I am.Prince Philip doesn't wear socks with the word C -U -N -T on them, does he?

There's no use abbreviating it now, I'm just saying.

I know, sorry.It's rude, though.What?My mum watches it.Sorry, mother.Okay.

Yeah, I probably am.Okay.I probably am, because I didn't go to private school.

But that's now.What do you think, in medieval times, your job would have been?What class would you have been back then?

I think I'd have to be like bowling about with a peasant's man, probably.

Yeah, totally.

Do you know what I mean?Totally.I'm knocking about with those boys and going for like a nice mutton lunch.

100%.

Yeah.

Sloshing ale.

Yeah, yeah.Yeah, yeah, you know, listening to a good violin band, you know, really tear it up.Or a mandolin band.I mean, what did they play back then?It was like, there was loads of string instruments, basically, wasn't there?Lute.

Lute.That's it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Going to a good lute rave.

The warehouse loot rave.

Kicked off with that loot rave, man.My God.What would you have been?Obviously queen.

Obviously queen, but realistically probably not.Bar winch.

Bar winch?

Yeah.

Nice, nice.God, you'd make a tremendous bar winch.

Right?And I'd get tips.

I'd get tips.I'm there every night listening to the loot.

Exactly.I'm serving the stew.Yeah, yeah.Keanu Reeves was once spotted watching Morbius on a flight.Fuck off.

Yeah, he was.You are joking.He loves you.I love Keanu Reeves, but he's like, you know like you get like a man, mate, Keanu Reeves, what a movie star.The movie star.Wow, and just looks like, just sort of, just looks like an angel.

has something, you know what I mean, like if you were to get a guardian angel in life, please God let it be Keanu Reeves.

Yeah.If you're lucky, it's Keanu.

Yeah.Has he ever done this?

No, I'd love to get him on.

Man, that would be cool, wouldn't it?Yeah.But I genuinely think that that period of movies with like that sort of 90s period of films I just love from Point Break onwards and thenI just think he's the best.He was watching Morbius.

He was watching Morbius on a flight.What do you watch on flights?

Not fucking Morbius.Jesus Christ.My God, he must have really gone through the BA library to be getting to that.He was drunk.Yeah.

What was he?He had to be drunk.

He was having a moment.He's on Valium or something.Oh, no, but what a legend.I love Keanu Reeves.I just want to make that really clear.What do I watch on flights?

I'm really boring on flights.I tend to, like...I tend to watch stuff that I can fall asleep to.Or I'll watch, like, reruns of The Office.Because I'm one of those guys that likes to fall asleep to something.

Nice.

Is that weird?

No, it's not weird.

Yeah, yeah.

As a kid, did you fall asleep to the TV?

Yeah, kind of.I like something on in the background, but some people think that's a bit odd.So I'll watch a lot of Alan Partridge.I don't know if you've ever watched Alan Partridge.I haven't, actually.I think it's the greatest single British character that's been created in the last 30 years.

Please watch it.It's amazing.

I thought you meant Alan Carr for a second.No.I was like, I don't know.

He's close.He's actually a close second.

Okay.Are you familiar with the Super Hulot community?

No, but what is that?

You're not.

Yeah.

The Super Hulot community was around 2013 -2014, Supernatural, Doctor Who, Sherlock.They were all premiering at the same time and it was like Tumblr.You guys ran Tumblr and you had no idea.

No.Tumblr's such an old -school reference.It is.Like MySpace, isn't it, man?Yeah.Back in the day, yeah.

I'm a child of Tumblr.I don't know if it shows.

Yeah, no, no, absolutely not.

Is there a message you'd like to send to those fans who are holding it down on Tumblr?

Yeah, I just think, like, you lot are gangsters, and thank you for supporting the SuperHoolo world, really, I'm sure.100%.And I can speak on behalf of Benedict Cumberbatch, who would be, you know, Very keen to thank you, too.And yeah, respect.Keep flying the flag.

Wow.That means a lot.to me.Yeah.Because I'm a veteran as well.

Oh, really?

I am.

Wow.

There's a lot of damn dragons on the show.

Yes.

Can you name them all?No.

Blitzer, Donna, Rudolph, Santa.Posh Spice.Yeah, Jerry.Baby.There's only one dragon that I'm down with, and that's Caraxes, man. I know, that's right.He's my guy.

The rest, they're immaterial to me.It's like, you know.

Did you see Dark Sister?

Where?

Right there.And that's it.

Sexy sword.

I agree.

Sexy sword.

Can you show me how you'd greet a dragon whose name you forgot?

Right, this is Caraxes, and then you do that thing where you let the other dragon sort of introduced.Exactly.Oh, what's your name?

This is Caraxes.

This is Caraxes, and you know Donna.

You guys get chatting, I'm gonna go get us a drink.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is the most satisfying phrase to say in High Valyrian?

Oh, that's a good question.I'm really bad at remembering it, is the truth.That's fair.The only one I can remember at the moment is mazis, which is like, I think it means sort of attack or come.I don't know what it means.

Two very different commands.Frankly, I know.

Yeah, yeah.Attack come.

The cum attack?The cum attack.

Yeah.Oh, not again.You do not want that one.No, no.Caraxies.

Her horny ass.Well, Matt, you've done a good job and you've passed.All right, Lord Matt.You did so well this part.I'm sorry for the accent.It kind of is just natural.

Oh, no.Yeah.I mean, it's, uh, I take it as a compliment.

Thank you so much.You know, I can, I can hit an Essex accent pretty good.

Go ahead.

You want to?

It would suit you, wouldn't it, being down there?Come on.

Brought me something.

Yes.

Wow, wow.

Yeah.Well, this is a football shirt, actually.With...Hot, hot D. Hodder.Hoddy.And it's got what I thought was the number 53, but cunningly it is actually S3 on the back.

And then it's got Targaryen.Yeah, this is for you, my queen.

This is awesome.Wait, I'm actually geeking the fuck out.That's really cool.

Well, I mean, you know, you are the queen.

I can keep this for real?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for real.

eBay.Guys, hit me up on eBay.That's it, man.

Yeah, yeah.

This is so sweet.

Yeah, or just give it to charity or something.

No, eBay.You've got to make a profit, turn a profit.You know, I brought you something, too.

Oh, really?OK, great.

Squad out!Mead.

Mead.Oh, wow.Thank you for this bottle of urine.So generous of you.

It is absolutely no problem at all.

Oh, that looks really nice.

I think it's really nice.Maybe we could crack it open and talk some shit.

Yeah, 14 .5, mate, it's bold.It is bold.

It is, it's piss, it's ammonia.

Great.

Shall we crack it?

Yeah, yeah, let's crack it open.Let's do it.What are we putting it?We're gonna go in the - Let's hit these.Ooh, it's interesting.It's not without its punch.

Asparagus.Cheers.

Cheers, darling.

Thanks for being here.

Here's to Britain.

To good old blighty.Pissed.Delicious.Potent.Let's go back to hotels.

Yeah.

What are you doing?Prerequisites for a good hotel.What's your interior design of choice?

Well maximalists just five glorious stars really I know it's a bit of a stupid thing It came about really from like going away with my look at me trying to justify itpublicly But it came around sort of going away with my mom and my dad as a kid and and there was something about Running around the corridors of hotels that I just yeah, I can love like shining style.Yes Yes, you know, I mean like finding like the sort of Room with a broom.

Right, right, right.

And being able to explore them.And now, I don't know, I just, you know, it's stupid.It's a really basic thing.You know when you go out and you're like, whoa, they've changed my sheets.

Yeah, yeah.

Amazing.

I completely, because here's the thing, you and I are similar in this way.

Yeah.

My, kind of one of my things is slippers.

Interesting.

That's like a good hotel to me.

Yes Yes, I'm with you with a nice pair of slippers.

I love that.You know what?I here's one of my qualms with European hotels.

Very interesting Okay, where's the water?What?

There's like no water.

There'll be like a it's this big whereas in a Best Western you are jug Yeah, really?I really struggle with you guys not drinking water over Well, it's because all we drink is this meat It's delicious mead.

It's exclusively mead.

Yeah, yeah.

Lord Matt, you've passed.Hey, Matt.

Yeah.

In front of you is a shield.

Yeah.

I'm going to ask you to draw your answers to the prompts on this shield.Yes.

Okay?Yes.

Now here's the tough part.

Yes.

At the same time, I'm going to ask you some serious questions about your career.And if at any point you need me to repeat a question, absolutely let me know because double -tasking is fucking hard.

The old multitask.

Yeah.All right, you've spoken about being unsure about taking some roles.Yes.Because, well, I don't know.Is it a fear there?What's the catalyst for signing on to a project for you?

Well, it's always that first read, you know, you get a sort of instinctual response, portrait of my dog.These are really tough.Yeah, a lot of it is sort of instinct, really.I was talking to this point the other day.So much of casting is about timing, in a way.Being the right age at the right time and available to play Doctor Who in that moment.

And with that, you just read it and you go, I don't know.Something in that reading and the molecules and atoms in your brain physiology, something stirs and happens and you go, I can do this one.And some you go, I don't know.

So it's kind of like intrinsic, kind of like.

Yeah, I think so.

In that same vein.

Yes.

You've said sometimes acting as a profession is not about feeling, it's about deciding and doing.

Yeah.

Has that leap between doubt and action gotten easier the more that you do this?

That's a good question, isn't it?I try.Yeah, that's a really good question actually.Yeah, I mean, one tries to work on that, but that's a very, it's a very interesting idea, doubt and action.It's like when you go to see a wonderful, if you go and see a fucking Rembrandt or something, you're seeing what you've just described, doubt, because he must have had it, but you're seeing the journey between doubt and action just rendered and articulated in the most fucking glorious way.Yeah, I'm still working on that a bit.

I might do a play next year, and whenever I'm doing a play, I'm like, I get there, and it's like the first night or whatever, and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing here?Like, why?This was a mistake.It was a massive mistake.I wanna be anywhere but here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I continually go back and do them.Right.And it's something about that feeling between doubt and action that is really enticing.

Okay, Doctor Who is an alien.

Yes.

With a seemingly unshakable compassion for Earth.

Yes, very much.

Do you share that compassion?Would you call yourself an optimist?

I don't know, I oscillate.I can live in pessimism.And often, I think, invited too much.But ultimately, I think there's a sort of sense...There's enough sense of, like, rebellion in me that will rebel towards being an optimist.Which sounds like a fucking oxymoron, doesn't it?

Whatever works.

Yeah.Yeah, but we're going deep, aren't we?

I love it.

But that wonderful therapist, he was like, look, man, fucking life's beautiful, man.It's amazing.

If you let it be.

If you let it be.If you get out your own way.Which I'm trying to do.

That's kind of the point, I feel like.Yeah, yeah.It's a journey.

I know.

You said you've never been as afraid as you were doing American Psycho the musical.No.What about that experience terrified you so much?

I was in my pants on a plinth coming up in white pants and I had to sing.I can't sing, for one.And actually, what happened is I'd just finished Doctor Who.I'd had an operation on my knee, which a lot of doctors have had the same operation, because you when you see one of the aliens running down the corridor, you sort of stop on your front knee.

How interesting.

It's called Doctor's Knee, yeah.And I had to come and I wasn't in very good shape and I had, like, seven weeks.I got in good shape for it, but it was a real intense thing.But, like, I'd never been to, like, a musical read -through before.And all these amazing singers were, like, ma!And I got there and was doing it and you could see them all go...

Fucking hell, this guy is shit.Do you know what I mean?They knew it, I knew it.I was a bit shit as well.But then, you know, it got all right in the end, I think.

That's when you put the Charlie XCX autotune on it.

Yeah, yeah.

It'll be fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So was that just the music, the fear of the music?

Yeah, and being so sort of, you know, it was a super, you were quite exposed physically in that show.A lot of being in your pants, which is, you know, weird on stage.And yeah, just the, there was like seven sounds.I can't really sing, do you know what I mean?And it was...Doesn't matter.

Yeah, but it was an amazing...There was an amazing thing that happens there that you...You know, the fight or flight of that is sort of brilliant.

I was gonna say, it sounds kind of adrenaline -rushed.Yeah.Addicted to it.

Yeah, and I really love the songs, and I really love the musical, and...God, these drawings are quite revealing, aren't they?Christ.

I love it.It's the point.

It's the point.You're doing great.

Okay, Lord Matt, will you present us your shield?

Can I just preface the fact that it is really shit?Yeah, received.But I felt like the convo wasn't shit, so you can't have everything, can you?I mean, the first one, there was a touch of nerves on the first one, so it is...Oh, no.

It is. I mean, it's meant to be a dragon, but it looks like one of those weird sex masks from Eyes Wide Shut.And it just has the word grr there, which is sort of giving off dragon.And then the next one is your favorite part.It's just a bow tie with the phrase bow ties are cool.And then that was meant to be my dog, but I couldn't draw my dog, so I just drew me.And then that's the Blackburn Ravers shirt.

My favourite shirt was the McEwan's Lager shirt, which is a sponsor.That is probably about as embarrassing as it gets, isn't it?I wouldn't get into play school with that.

I think it's wonderful.Thank you, Lord Matt.Sign it for me.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Well, Lord Matt, it is my utmost pleasure and privilege to induct you into my royal court.You proceed with the knighting.

Stay where you are.Lovely.This is incredibly sharp.I knight thee, Lord Matt, official High Valyrian translator of the realm.

Lovely, that's beautiful.Thank you very much.What a joy.

Is there anything you'd like to promote to my realm?

Um, no.Nothing of note.Nothing of note.You want me to do it?Oh, as in actually?

Yeah, actually.

I know, check out House of the Dragon.It's on HBO on Sundays.It comes out on June 21st.And yeah, we've tried to make it bigger, bolder, badder, bloodier than ever.So check it out, man. I cannot wait.

Matt, thank you so much.

Thank you.

Gods, take him away.Get him out of my sight.