"Meghan Markle And Her UNRAVELLING Spare, Harry" | Diana's Childhood Home Visited | Fergie "Removed"

Meghan Markle and her unravelling spare Harry.are at the crossroads.Just how much longer the Sussexes' troubled marriage can survive the pressure as their carefully planned strategy goes spectacularly wrong is an increasing source of deep concern.The dim duke is determined to spend more time with his father, King Charles, repair his rancid relationship with his estranged brother, Prince William, and finally achieve the half -in, half -out, part -time royal status his grandmother, the late, great Queen Elizabeth, specifically banned.The difficult Duchess, meanwhile, wants nothing to do with the rapprochement her man -child husband obsesses on, amid growing fears that he is disappearing into his own fantasy world, utterly divorced from reality.Convinced Harry is chasing rainbows, Ms Markle has made it unequivocally clear that she sees their future in California and they should stick to their all -American dream.

The result is an arctic marital standoff that has brought a cold chill to the gruesome twosomes Montecito mansion in the sun.To make matters even worse the heartfelt pleas of well -meaning friends begging the petulant prince to drop the epic failed farce of his attempts to get armed police protection when in the UK have fallen on deaf ears, proving that a fool and his money are soon parted.Harry has already wasted millions on a losing legal battle, suing his dad's government in a bid to remove him.decision to strip him of a taxpayer -funded privilege only awarded to frontline full -time working royals, which, of course, 6 ,000 miles away on the US west coast, Harry and Meghan very definitely are not.But according to disturbing reports, the prince remains consumed by his forlorn fixation on an impossible cause that everyone except him knows he can never win.Like a stupidly stubborn adolescent, a pathetic victim of his own immaturity, Harry simply refuses to give up.

Mark my words, it will end in tears.Actually, Torrents of tears are already flowing as the portrait of perfect harmony the Sussexes love to paint hides an uncomfortable truth.This preening pair of wannabe globetrotting aristocrats have reached make or break in a once devoted partnership that is fast plummeting.into a toxic cycle of romantic decline.Add to that the multi -million dollar bill he faces after the catastrophic collapse of his ludicrous evidence -free case against the Daily Mail, and poor old gormless Gingernuts is caught in a perfect storm of pervasively profound problems and a crippling cash crisis.First among his troubles is the rapidly deteriorating state of affairs with Meghan, whose first visit to Britain since running away six years ago ended in a worrying whirl of bitterness and anger.

The former game show glamour girl turned terrible tycoon was left fuming when a sceptical Queen Camillaon witnessing all conversations between the Sussexes and the King.Camilla distrusts Meghan almost as much as she despises her and monitoring everything that was said during the awkward reunion at Charles's country retreat Highgrove House sounded a warning to the Sussexes not to leak a word to the media.Renowned control freak Ms Markle, a bossy social ringmaster who sees herself as perennially in charge, did not like that one bit.Her livid ladyship was also dismayed that Harry's homecoming completely cut her out of the picture, with neither she nor their kids, Archie and Lilibet, even once being spotted in public.So ghost -like was their brief covert excursion across the pond that, unaccustomed to ducking, diving and shirking the limelight, miserable Meg flew back to the States in a wreck.

rage, more dead set against Britain than ever before.In stark contrast, Harry fell back in love with the royal wife he achingly misses and was entranced by the sight of his excited children romping with their regal grandfather.So, while the Duchess wants a full -on separation from the horrible UK, the Duke has set his heart on rekindling the cosseted palace dwelling existence he once enjoyed.Sadly, He is alone in believing he can pull off his far -fetched transatlantic vision.But when Meghan points out that the peace pact he thinks he can forge with his relatives is never going to happen, it leads to stand -up rows.He is distraught that his wife persistently

punctures his pipe dreams.She is in despair over her husband's wonderland worldview through rose -coloured spectacles.Hapless Harry desperately hoped that his family's chaotic return to Britain would begin to thaw the ice of the furious feud that has torn the royals apart.But rather than start the healing process, The Sussex's shambolic trip from hell has made matters a whole lot worse.

The Duchess of Sussex has released photographs of the family.Of course, that's the Duke of Sussex, Prince Harry, Archie and Lily, with photographs that appear to show their UK return and images of the children at Althorp, which is, of course, the estate of the late Diana.Let's get reaction from Rupert Bell, Talks Royal correspondent.Hello, Rupert.

Good morning, Mark.

Rupert, what do you make of these latest images, courtesy of Meghan Markle, in regard to the Sussexes' UK return?

Well, once again, it's trying to, I think, take the shine away from the Waleses, who obviously George's birthday was recently and all the pictures of him, and also proving that they are welcome back in the UK by showing that Charles Spencer, Harry's uncle, was happy to have them to stay.But where's the privacy?Because I thought they didn't want pictures of their children splashed all over social media and they believe that, well, although the facts don't back up that, because they say people should be protected by social media.But once again, they're using their children to create this image of happy families.Now, it may have been a very happy trip, but why do we feel the need?to endlessly see pictures and obviously the element of going to see Diana's grave site there.

and going to all through, it's also saying, look, we are welcome back in the UK.That's what it's out to try and prove from the Sussex's perspective.

Well, I think that's a really correct overview, Rupert.We hear so much about the privacy of Archie and Lily, and we hear about concerns in regard to their security.Probably not the best idea.to publish photographs of them and create interest in them.

Yeah, and they do these, they produce these photographs in a, which actually, it's like a freaky way.All we get is back views.Whereas at least when the Wales is, that they're controlled, you know, we saw official photographs of George when he turned 13.Absolutely right.It's done as a sort of, in a way, part official.Correct.

George is the future king, so it is a sort of timeline of his progression into adulthood, and then ultimately he will succeed to the throne.So that's all part of a sort of historical narrative.But for the Sussexes, it's a different narrative.It's trying to prove, look, we are still relevant over here.And yet again, I just find the images just a little bit freaky in a way.They don't seem natural.

All everything photographed from behind and everything, yet we've got to see it like that.And okay, they may have been going to the memorial, but what's the big plan, you know, for them?Is there going to be some documentary about Diana?And this will be all part of that, showing them having that intimate moment.The visit was a private one, yet the Sussexes are still doing their best to show, look, you may not have seen me, but I was here.And look, I am welcome with elements of the royal family.

Now, what the rest of the royal family think of him?The Sussex is going to Charles Spencer's house.I don't know.But here he is, the uncle.He obviously gave that famous speech at Diana's funeral.But it's not as if his private life has been completely straightforward for over the years.

I mean, I think he's on his fourth wife.So he's not a straightforward character, but at least it is something that can be seen from the Sussexes' point of view.Look, we're welcomed back in UK by some people.

Now, as you've reported to us previously, Rupert, the Sussexes were under strict orders on the part of the King not to publish any photographs of the Highgrove House afternoon tea.No interviews, no details, no photos.And therefore, this little cache of images is significant, isn't it?It demonstrates, I would suggest, Rupert, that Meghan Markle couldn't resist publishing evidence of their UK return.She needed to get photographs out there of the Sussexes on British soil.

Yeah, because their brand is a busted flush at the moment.So they need, their brand depends on their connection with the Royal Family.Well, Harry did his work when he came over here at the beginning of the month.Okay, the court case, I think probably scuppered Meghan's plans because suddenly, you know, it was a bad week from a news perspective for Harry.Yes, it went well for him in Victor's Games.He looked relaxed and hopefully it has helped to create interest in next year's Invictus Games.

which I certainly applaud, but actually from a Megan perspective, it wasn't the week she wanted.There she is under the cover of darkness, having to go to Highgrove for an hour, scootling back to Ultra.Presumably that's where they stayed.It's not a surprise they stayed there.You know, it seems a perfectly normal place for them to go, but now they're stuck.of trying to monetize it.

Look at playing this happy family environment, that sort of cheesy photograph of them in a restaurant and pictures from Portugal.It all just seems a little contrived and unnecessary.Why do they feel the need?Presumably, yes, there will be lots of people looking at it, but it's all very needy, is my assessment of what she is doing.

And how do you think Archie and Lily will feel about the fact that they're being made celebrities by their parents?When they become grown -ups, could there be some resentment, a reckoning, given the fact that the Sussexes have clearly started to make the children part of their brand?

history will tell, but if Harry should be aware of this, because one of his beefs was the fact that he was in this goldfish bowl and he found it difficult.But actually his words don't, you know, his actions don't back up his words and sentiment, because he is using his children.He shouldn't be using his children for anything if that's what he believes, to protect his children.So maybe, I don't know, you know, what it will be like for Archie and Lily in 10 years' time, whatever the situation is.But it just seems rather unnecessary and desperate in many ways because nothing's worked for her brand recently, as we know, although she's managed to get a nomination for a daytime TV, a Lifestyle TV programme for an Emmy Award.That surprised me that she got that.

But there we go.No accounting for taste.But you know, what else is going right for her brand?

Andrew Lowney is the journalist and royal author who brought Andrew Mountbatten -Windsor with the book entitled The Rise and Fall of the House of York.He joins me now.Good morning, Andrew.Good morning, Mark.Andrew, I understand you have some new developments in regard to Sarah Ferguson's charity commitments.

Well, it's very interesting.They've closed Sarah's Trust, which is a charity she set up to help other charities.There have always been big suspicions about Sarah's Trust, indeed all of Sarah's charities, and indeed the charities that were set up by her children, and indeed Andrew, often for sex -trafficked women, which is rather ironic.But she was raising large sums of money, and the money wasn't really being spent.It was being used up in salaries and things.And charity has always been used by the York family really to launder their reputations, to enhance their social lives, and to give them introductions to useful people they could then work on for their financial activities.

So I welcome this, and this is long overdue.Of course, the Charity Commission have also been looking at Eugenie's charity, the Anti -Slavery Collective, which again raised money it didn't spend, and their charities over the years that Andrew was involved in, which were basically started, got some publicity, and then nothing actually happened with them.

And this is a further blow to Fergie's ailing and toxic brand.We know that she's not got any money coming in, but she hasn't even got the charitable work, the philanthropy, to fall back on in terms of her public profile.

Well, I mean, I think the interesting thing is that Fergie is the Houdini of the royal family.She always kind of escapes.And she's been given a lifeline by the death of Paddy McNally, her old boyfriend, who had always supported her, lent her properties to stay in.She went and stayed in his property in Verbier after she led Royal Lodge.And I think it looks very likely that he has left her a large part or part of his huge fortune.so she is going to be okay.

Might that be a house or some kind of cash windfall?Would it be of that scale?

Well, it could be his son.One of his sons pre -deceased him, so I think he was changing his will until pretty late.So I think it's probably a trust which is paying her a regular income, because I think if she was given one big sum, she would blow it.That was what they did with the divorce settlement.I mean, there's stories that he actually bought her a house in Geneva years ago.But yes, I think she's got lots of money from him, and this is going to ease her financial problems, because basically, she is unemployable at the moment.

No one wants to be involved How was she able to achieve that with Paddy McNally, to have him under her spell for so long?This is an accomplished entrepreneur, a talented and intelligent man.How is it that Fergie gets so many people to be her friend when she's in a corner?

She's a lucky general.She does inspire a lot of loyalty from her friends.I mean, she's a good friend herself.She's very charismatic.She's very manipulative.I mean, she worked on Andrew and the royal family.

That's why she was able to stay in the Royal Lodge for so long.And, you know, neither Andrew nor Paddy McNally really treated her very well.And she's played on that emotional blackmail to basically get them to bankroll her for the last 40 years.So she's a very, very shrewd cookie, the Becky Sharp, I think, of the royal family as well.Does she groom people?Is that language that you would use?

Yes, I think that's probably a fair estimation.I mean, her secretaries talk about how they were always being sent out to basically draw people into the net for financial, basically, benefit.But yes, she does work on people, and she is very, very persuasive.I mean, I've met her.She's very charming.She kind of draws you in, lulls you in.

But she's very sort of bipolar, really.She can snap in a minute from being your friend to being your worst enemy.

Has she got that nasty, ruthless side?Because that's not her public image.Is there a dark side to Fergie, Andrew?

Yes, there is. I mean, I tried to show it in Entitled.I mean, certainly the impression you get when you talk to staff members and people who know her well.But yeah, she plays the ditzy redhead.It's the sort of rather kooky Sloane Ranger, a bit like a Labrador.You want to pat her on the head.But actually, she is a very, very, as you say, manipulative and ruthless character, and she will turn on people very quickly if they don't serve her ends.

And that's a story that's never really emerged properly.But we've seen a little bit in the Epstein files, the way that she cozied up to Epstein, the way that she was taking money off him and publicly saying one thing, disowning him, and in private still staying at his properties years after she'd supposedly broken off contact.

We know that she plays the victim, this sort of faux victim narrative, poor me.She's also flirtatious.Has Fergie, in your view, ever used sex as a way of getting what she wants?

Absolutely, I mean she sweetens the deal often with these mentors.She has a long history of sleeping with people who've given her money and she checks for her as a very sort of, she's very open about it and has had lots of sexual relationships.She's quite sort of I mean, a lot of it's transactional, but she can be also quite predatory.And so Pearl Tiger Woods was chased across the States when she took a fancy to him.Kevin Costner, John F. Kennedy Jr.There was a tennis player called Thomas Musser.

I mean, she went after all of them.I mean, literally getting on planes and going to Australia.So when she wants something, she can be very determined.

Yes, and this is not libido, is it?It's leverage.

Yes, sex is just one of the instruments that she uses in her sort of range of weapons.But yeah, I mean, sex is certainly very much part of the story, and she had a relationship with Epstein.And that was certainly with a number of these, and particularly American financial backers, there was always sex involved.

Most definitely.Well, of course, Sarah Ferguson is not here to defend herself and would challenge these allegations.Worth noting also that this supposedly friendly public figure in Sarah Ferguson made every effort, Andrew, to silence you in your work as a journalist.

Yes, I mean, I was receiving letters from her lawyers saying they were monitoring my social media even before the book came out.And there's clearly been a lot of briefing against me and against the book.So, yes, I mean, she's and she worked very hard to suppress previous books on her.Alan Starkey, a previous boyfriend and business consultant, she actually tried to take to court.And it's ironic that she gets everyone to sign NDAs around her.And yet she's breaking NDAs that she's signed herself, including after her divorce from Andrew.

Here's a question you may struggle to answer though, Andrew.Where is Fergie?

Well, I mean, my own suspicion is that she has been put up by friends, I mean, probably by Paddy McNally.I think the story was that she'd been in Verbier at one of his chalets there.She may well have been staying at his house in Britain.So I think that's the most likely scenario.She has a lot of friends who, and this is what's happened in the past, where she's basically taken refuge with friends toRice at one point offered her refuge in a house he owned in Cornwall on a previous occasion.

But she has lots of people who are very rich and can easily take her in, and no one would know she was there.

I'm hearing from you, Andrew, notwithstanding your misgivings about her conduct and alleged crimes, that she's a survivor.And as is the theme of her life, she will always bounce back?

Yes, I mean, you know, she's done it so many times before.I mean, we've got to remember in 2010, she was caught on film selling access to Prince Andrew for half a million pounds.That would have been the end of most people.And yet, you know, she did a confessional interview with Oprah.She wrote a book.She said, promise to do better next time.

And then she just repeats all the same mistakes.And there is a demographic who kind of buy into this.This is someone who's been kind of put down by the establishment that she's, as you say, say, a victim, and they get hope from the fact that, you know, she fights back and can kind of rescue herself.So I don't think we've heard the last of Fergie.I think the royal family must be breathing a sigh of relief.There were rumors that she was trying to write a tell -all book, and presumably that will now have been no longer necessary with the Paddy McNally money.

if he has given her money, which I suspect he has.

Of course, that is the nuclear weapon, isn't it?Because she's written plenty of books in the past about her life, but they've all been very vanilla, Andrew.Interesting that you think perhaps the financial emergency is no longer there.She may not seek to tell that story.Do we know what the girls think of their mum these days?

Well, it's an interesting question.I mean, we have Eugenie about to have a third child.I mean, my understanding is that she doesn't want her parents at the birth.I mean, this may be partly because she just doesn't want the attention.Eugenie does seem to havecut loose, at least in public, from her father.

But again, with the Yorks, what happens in public and what goes on behind the scenes are two very different things.So I think for public consumption, the line is the daughters are distancing themselves.They see their parents as toxic.I think in reality, there's still contact there.We've got to remember that the daughters' whole careers are predicated on their links to the royal family and the contacts they built up, accompanying their father on his taxpayer -funded trade envoy trips.So they're going to try and keep in.

I mean, their jobs do rely on these contacts and they're not going to sacrifice those.They won't want to lose their titles and they will want to keep the king happy.So I think they're walking a very delicate tightrope in public, though actually say what happens in private is maybe another thing.

And perhaps her desire for Beatrice and Eugenie to keep their HRH titles is another reason why she won't do a tell -all book, because if she presses the nuclear button, well then the girls are in trouble.

Yes, I mean, that's always the pressure that's been put on her.And indeed, when they got divorced, the pressure was that, you know, she wouldn't have custody of the children.I mean, of course, there are other ways of getting these stories out.I mean, Fergie has a long history of feeding, having tamed journalists that she feeds stories to.And, I mean, she could do a Sir Andrew Morton, find some figure to tell the story to, or do it through various cutouts, I mean, like Ovid Scobie did.So, I mean, she could try and keep her hands clean and still dish the dirt.

I think there's still a strong sense of revenge.revenge against the Royal Family, particularly against the King, the Queen, and one or two other members of the Royal Family.So I wouldn't put it past her to have a few digs, even though she doesn't appear to be writing a book.

Andrew, a difficult question to answer, but do you think that Andrew Mountbatten -Windsor may now be through the worst ofthe Epstein scandal?

Well, we just don't know.I mean, there's a lot more material that could be released from the Epstein files and may well be released.And if that's the case, then that will be damaging.I think that the strategy of the Royal Family is just to say nothing and hope the problem goes away and the news agenda moves on.But there is a lot of very incriminating material in those Epstein revelations.The fact that he was sharing secrets with foreign -born people, very sensitive diplomatic, military, and commercial secrets.

And basically grounds, I think, on that evidence to charge him with treason, with breaking the Official Secrets Act.Now whether the police want to go there, whether the royal family want their dirty linen aired in public with a trial is another question.So I do think probably he's another Houdini figure.He'll jump on a plane to Abu Dhabi if things look like getting a little bit hot and he'll get away.And of course it's ever been so that the rich and powerful never seem to face the consequences of their actions.

And the king has run out of levers to pull in relation to his younger brother, wouldn't you say?He's lost his dukedom, HRH, he's no longer at the royal lodge.There's not too much more the king can do in relation to Andrew.He's a hostage to fortune, our monarch, isn't he?

Well, I'm not sure that's the case.I think there are things that he could do.I mean, we know that 33 ,000 emails were passed the palace six years ago.These were hacked emails from Andrew's business partner, Jonathan Robbins.We don't know, and it doesn't seem to have happened, that that material has ever been passed to the police, even now.The word that I'm getting is that policemen have been reminded of their obligations of confidentiality.

And so, again, in public, while the King is saying the law must take its course, there's no way to do that.evidence that he is cooperating with law enforcement.Law enforcement seems to have gone very quiet.I mean, we've got this ridiculous situation where Thames police are talking to Virginia Giffray's relations, who know nothing about the case, when they ignored the allegations Virginia Giffray herself made when she was alive.And we have to remember that this case is not just about Virginia Giffray.It's about a whole series of women who were trafficked to Andrew and also about this misconduct in public office.

So that's a real red herring.It's again back to the smoke and approach to this story.So I'm not very confident.I mean, Police Scotland don't seem to be investigating him, and yet many of the girls were trafficked to Balmoral.

Andrew, can we look forward to an updated version of Entitled?What are you working on at the moment?Are you able to tell us?

Yeah, I am.I mean, Entitled came out as an updated paperback with another 40 pages about a month ago.And I'm now working on a sequel, which will take a few years, called Untitled, which takes the story forward.I'm also returning to a book on Prince Philip.who I've always admired, a very different character to his son.And so maybe people will realize I'm not out to get the royal family, but just out to tell the truth.

And so far, Prince Philip emerges as a very interesting and very admirable character.

Well, listen, congratulations on the release of the updated version of Entitled, out for a month with obviously lots of juicy new material.When might we expect the Philip book?Because I admire him too.He was very much the Queen's rock.be out, what, are we looking at next year now for that?

Well, no, I mean these books take about three to four years to research and there's often a year between delivery and publication, so normally I'm on a four -year cycle, so that would be about three years time.

Sorry, so Royal Plans, I was reading this, you know this wholeHarry came back, and I'd love you in on this as well, please, Pops.Harry came back, there was all that arguing about security, then we had this sort of undercover visit to Highgrove House, where Camilla was there with the Perth top lip, quite rightly too, and then he and the dreadful one went back to wherever they've come from.Apparently in the news today, King Charles will offer Prince Harry a room at Buckingham Palace when he returns to the UK in the coming weeks.mean, and why is he coming back, and is he coming on his own, and why should I care?

He's coming for the Well Child Awards.I believe he is coming back by himself.Here's the thing.I recently heard that Prince William made it abundantly clear that Harry and Meghan cannot be offered accommodation at Windsor Castle.And I think that that's important because it tells us that there's not even an inch of thawing happening between the brothers.He doesn't want to risk an unexpected encounter with Harry, especially Meghan, on what he considers his family's home turf.

And the reason why I thought that this was so interesting is, do you remember the reports a few years ago that Harry and Meghan had actually asked to live in Windsor Castle.So if they were offered Windsor Castle to stay when they visit in the UK, that would be considered a bit of a win for them because we know that they personally approached Queen Elizabeth and she said no.I live in Windsor Castle.I don't want you to live in Windsor Castle.You guys can have Frogmore Cottage.So it's my understanding that Prince William has put his foot down and said, I don't want them anywhere near Windsor.

If I stumble upon him, I wouldn't even acknowledge him.Is Buckingham Palace a downgrade?I don't think it's necessarily a downgrade.If this offer is confirmed, he would once again be staying inside one of the most recognizedroyal residences in the world.

But you see, why is it that all of me, and I'd love your opinion on this Poppy, all of me thinks this is all for their brand, this is all about a few clicks.You are both part of a A couple who said that the monarchy is racist and everything about it is fundamentally wrong.Why, Poppy, then?Kins and I have spoken about this so much.Would he take a room within an institution that he hates so much?Because he's a two -faced liar, that's what he is. I think, like...

I mean, I'm not completely across the royal story, but I imagine he probably wants to have some kind of relationship still with the royal family, because I don't know if Harry is 100 %... correct in his mind that he wants to stay in America forever.So isn't this his way of trying to keep the door open, in some respect?

Yeah, but why should we allow him to keep the door open when he's slagged everything off about the royal family, unless he's worked out his wife is a witch and he wants out?

Well, I think that's probably the question that you then have to ask the royal family.Are they completely shutting the door on him after everything that's happened?The fact that he's continuing to try and appeal this bizarre vendetta he has against British media is not really a sign that he's learning and moving on from this stuff, is it?

It's very true that, isn't it?isn't it, Kins, to be fair, the whitewash job.It just sits badly with me.It sits better with me if he stood up to his wife and said, this is where I come from, this is what I believe in, you're going to be a part of this, you might not like it.But he ran out of this country and slagged everything off and now seems to want to come back.I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.

He's using, presumably, the argument that he wants a relationship with his father, which I guess you'd understand.His father's living with some form of cancer.I just don't see it ending well, sorry.

Well, I think, you know, if you're cynical like me, like you, this creates a very different picture of Harry's relationship with the monarchy than we've seen in the last several years.And that's why some of us, some royal observers, are urging caution.No one seriously suggestsI'm separate from any suggestion of an official royal return.However, the optics make it look like Harry's back in the game.If you've got shots of him coming in and out of Buckingham Palace, there are, you know, perception is reality.

And the people that threw money at him to disparage his family, like Netflix and Spotify, that's all they're saying.Harry, you know, back in the fold.

I couldn't agree with you more.Now, I was going to, if you don't mind, Pops as well, I was thinking, because you're from America, well done Jez, I wanted to read you two stories, you're not prepared for this, but you live in Trump's America, and I would like to know what the American president would do with these two stories, because this, Kins, sums up... the situation in this country that used to be called Great Britain.An Albanian drug dealer this morning will not be deported from this country, a judge has decided, because his daughter wets the bed.He told the court the girl needed therapeutic intervention due to her accidents, which worsened during his time in jail.He was jailed for two years for his role in a money laundering drug gang deal.And essentially the judge has said, don't worry, you stay here because your daughter wets the bed.

I can't see Trump allowing that, can you?

No, I mean, a couple of shots of tequila and I'm also a bed wetter, so I really don't see the problem here.I think that's a typical Tuesday if you've had a good...

Sorry, sorry.Now I'm 60, so I wet the bed.

Well, that's why I don't drink tequila anymore, okay?

I've learned my lesson.Poppy, wet the bed through alcohol?I can't drink tequila anymore because it was the first drink that I was sick on when I was a teenager.And, you know, you never forget the first thing you're sick on when you're a teenager.But you're doing that journalist thing, right?Have you ever wet the bed?

I haven't wet the bed since I was, I think, three.

All right, good.By the way, Kinsey, first Saturday job.What was your first Saturday job?

Oh, um, my camp counsellor for musical theatre kids.

That's proper.

Next question, next story.This is absolutely true.On the day we find out that British police have spent 600 million on sort of, you know, equality and diversity initiatives, a taxpayer -funded arts group has today announced that some teddy bears, Care Bears, are transgender.

Oh, my God.Don't ruin teddy bears for me, guys.They're not.They're just sweet and fluffy and perfect.Don't...You don't have to make me..

.No, no, you're being disrespectful, misogynistic, homophobic, sexist, racist old trout.They are transgender, some teddy bears.

What I don't understand about this is that teddy bears obviously don't have genitalia, so how can you tell that they're transgender?

Listen, I didn't write the story.I don't want my teddy bear to have a willy or a...Oh, you know, when my daughter was about to say fairy.Anyway, there we go.So, what would Trump say about transgendered teddy bears?

I think that he would say, I don't know what he'd say.Gosh, he's ridiculous.I mean, I couldn't believe that he was fighting with that Caitlin Collins from CNN over the weekend by referring to her as theif as Dylan Mulroney, so he would definitely have something to say, but could I predict it?Absolutely not.Could it get me cancelled?

I don't think anyone can predict what Trump is going to say.

Trump says he's going for a fourth term.He seems to have forgotten the third one.He's only done two.

He's already guaranteed, I guess, the first term in his head.

Nobody's done it better than him.