Mike Johnson Takes A Knee? Border Patrol Thug’s Day In Court! Chuck Schumer’s Had It! | HIGNFYUS

-♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Millions of Americans go to work in their Halloween costumes. In case you don't know it, I'm actually a soybean farmer, so I have felt this pain, too.

Republicans unveiled their replacement for health care subsidies.

Whoo!

George Santos celebrates his freedom.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

-♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! ♪ -♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! ♪

On Amber's team tonight, he's the co-host of Bloomberg's Everybody's Business podcast and the author of The Contrarian, Peter Thiel and the Rise of Silicon Valley Oligarchs. And he must be doing something right, I haven't even interviewed him yet. It's Max Chafkin. And joining Michael, she's the host of the extremely popular I've Had It podcast

and has interviewed people like AOC, Bernie Sanders, Zoran Mamdani, and me. She's the Joe Rogan of the left, but with better hair. It's Jennifer Welch. Now, for the biggest stories of the week, Michael, Jennifer, watch the clip.

Tell me, what is the story?

Okay, so we got people upset with ice, and then ice is upset with people. And if you look at yourself close enough, you'll get bombed. This seems to be a story about tear gas.

Close enough. Points. The story is everything is bad, and it is getting worse. Panel, specifically, what got worse. Uh, panel, specifically, what got worse this week regarding ICE?

Maybe ICE got worse at their jobs, and then they didn't snatch up as many people. They started handing out kisses instead.

This week, wasn't there some big shakeup? Like, didn't they fire a bunch of people at ICE or the border protection, and they're kind of merging the two? And apparently, the Border Protection are the people that we think are ICE, and ICE actually aren't as terrible

as the Border Protection, but now the Border Protection is gonna be in charge of everything.

That's pretty good. That's good. Tonight, we are talking about ICE. They're the people that-that watch 101 Dalmatians and think, you know, that puppy coat was totally worth it. -♪ ♪ -♪ ICE has been making some questionable and sometimes brutal arrests all over the country, and you are very correct, Michael.

Yes, there are gonna be a lot of changes happening around ICE. Just listen to some of the changes.

A shakeup of leadership at ICE is now underway. The Trump administration replacing many senior leaders with Border Patrol officials amid a push to ramp up deportations.

What the hell have we been doing the past ten months?

Who the fuck is left?

Allow me to introduce you to Border Patrol commander Greg Bovino, a man whose barber must be an immigrant. They clearly hate him. Here's Bovino explaining on how he decides who to arrest.

Perhaps you look panicked when you see a border patrol agent. Perhaps you look scared. Perhaps your demeanor changes.

Why wouldn't you look scared? That could be... Your ugly face could be the last fucking thing I see, and I'm supposed to look glad?

Bitch!

Oh! Oh!

Ravino, this is a real picture. Did a photo shoot earlier this month for CNN.

Is his head that small?

What is up with all of the cosplaying?

Well, when you say cosplaying, do you mean Nazi cosplaying?

Yes, that.

And then I don't know if you've seen Christy Noem. She's always dressed up in different outfits.

Yes.

This is a history. She's like a serial cosplayer. She dressed up as a doctor, a realtor, and she did all of these photo shoots while she was governor. And she's got a problem.

Like, why did drug addicts do cocaine? Because I like it. I mean, uh, uh.

Let's be fair. Let's go give me Greg Bovino again. And then let's do Ralph Fiennes from Schindler's List.

Yeah, you nailed it.

In case you ain't seen Schindler's List, that's not Schindler. Is there any way in the entire world the administration could have made that photo shoot worse?

Yes.

What about a salute? A Roman salute, as they're called.

Just a few hours after Bovino was called out for his choice of attire in the photo shoot, DHS posted this video.

DHS posted this video.

DHS posted this video. I Don't know maybe was hail in the cab from inside another car

What we've covered has been a lot for a comedy show so I think to balance things out here's a picture of a chihuahua

Take a look.

This morning, Homeland Security is defending actions taken by federal officers in Chicago over the weekend that sparked outrage from some residents. Tear gas in Old Irving Park right now. Our own neighborhood, scaring our children.

We were supposed to be standing on this corner with hundreds of families walking around, and, um, we're just being terrorized by ice.

Listen, you got to take your snack costume off.

Uh-uh.

When you're getting interviewed about children getting pepper sprays, can you give us a quote? Give me a second. I'll take off my...

That's who ice deemed a threat. It's a fucking bag of snacks.

Time for another palette cleanser. How about that? Here's a bulldog dressed as Popeye for Halloween.

Aw.

Yeah. He's a Nazi. Never mind. In court this week, the judge made it clear she was not happy with the Border Patrol's behavior. She said, quote, "'Kids dressed in Halloween costumes walking to a parade does not pose an immediate threat to the safety

of a law enforcement officer now Greg Bovino Defended his actions saying he and other Border Patrol officers were acting in self-defense at the Halloween parade He even claims without any evidence that protesters hit him in the head with a rock

That's impossible, because this man has the smallest head on Earth.

The story is, sometimes what you think is rock bottom is really rock middle. And this little guy dressed as Winnie the Pooh, I'm hearing he's a very good boy.

Oh, yay!

Amber, Max, watch the video clips and tell me what is the story.

This is the Department of Labor. They are so sad. So everyone's filing for unemployment, including Amazon people, robot men.

The AI is taking our jobs.

Ooh.

The story is, you know how you go to a job fair and you go there and there's a whole bunch of jobs? Well, America's kind of the opposite of that right now.

Microsoft cutting another 9,000 workers in its latest round of layoffs,

bringing the workforce reductions to 15,000.

UPS, 48,000.

Salesforce cut 4,000.

Target announcing it's gonna cut 1,800 corporate jobs.

Lots of companies are having layoffs right now in this country. Let's start with Amazon, uh, who announced that they're cutting 14,000 jobs this week. But inside sources say it's really more like 30,000 jobs. You know how Amazon be double-charging, so, you know, they numbers might not be right. Does anyone know where within the company that Amazon is making those cuts?

Hopefully, they're cutting the job of the guy who puts the thing I ordered in a box and then in a second box and fills that with peanuts and puts it in the final third box.

It's everything, right? It's across the board.

There we go! Points for Max. Yes. It's damn near everything. Amazon is cutting jobs across several areas, like human resources, operations, and Amazon Web Services, why might it be bad for Amazon to cut the staff

of their web services team, the AWS team?

Max, what does Amazon Web Services do?

What is that? It just runs like every website.

Oh, that's not important.

That's why it's kind of bad. If you're watching Netflix, watching this show streaming, you might be getting it through Amazon.

So, Amazon is also the Amazon of the Internet?

I'm sorry to tell you.

I guess I thought the Internet was just sort of housed everywhere, and nobody controlled it, and it was fun for everybody. But you're telling me Jeff Bezos owns the Internet?

That fucker! Amazon doubled down on their commitment to artificial intelligence, saying, quote, this generation of A.I. is the most transformative technology we've seen since the Internet, and it's enabling companies to innovate much faster than ever before.

I mean, they're-they're talking about putting robots in the warehouse, but honestly, I think that a lot of times when we see these headlines, like, they're not... They haven't actually figured out how to replace people. They're just kind of using it as an excuse.

I think it's obvious the billionaires don't like people. They-they prefer robots.

Not only do they prefer robots, they also don't even like the name AI. According to The New York Times, they're telling people over at Amazon to not call it AI. In a review of an internal Amazon document, the company suggests, quote,

use terms like advanced technology or replace the word robot with cobot, which implies collaboration with humans. You know, collaboration, like in Terminator. That was a great cobot.

It would be really funny if we found out that AI was the one that made that quote.

Can you fire enough employees to create more revenue to invest in AI?

Well, yeah, of course. And the other thing is, if you fire a bunch of people, it kind of looks bad, but if you fire everyone and say it's the AI doing it, investors think that's cool for some reason.

All the job losses are starting to pile up, on top of all of the government layoffs, uh, that are happening because of the shutdown. Next week, uh, the shutdown will set the record for the longest in history. What can the party that is controlling the White House, the Supreme Court, the Senate,

and the House of Representatives do to end the shutdown?

My thought is, and look, I'm not a political science guy, but it seems like if there is one party, as you suggested, they shut the government down, what they could do is push a button,

turn it right back on.

And why would you think that?

Because they turned it off.

-♪ ♪ -Okay?

According to Mike Johnson, the Republicans can't do a damn thing about the shutdown.

Democrats are required to open the government. They keep saying Republicans are in charge of government. We aren't.

I think Americans have had it, because he has a lot of power, but he bends his knee every single day, and his testicles are in Donald Trump's desk drawer in the Oval Office.

Whoo!

I would suggest he's not bending just one knee.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yeah, this week, the Democrats rejected He's not bending just one knee. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Yeah, this week, the Democrats rejected a government funding bill for the 13th time since this all began last month. Question, why are the Democrats still rejecting funding bills?

If, uh, they do not reject that, then health insurance premiums on the poorest of Americans are going to go through the roof. The Democrats haven't agreed to a spending bill If we do not reject that, then health insurance premiums on the poorest of Americans are going to go through the roof.

The Democrats haven't agreed to a spending bill because they won't budge on their demands to extend the ACA's health insurance subsidies that are expiring soon. Without those, analysts predict that people's average insurance premiums

will go up by an average of 30%. What other big cut goes into effect this month?

Food stamps, right?

Yes, sir. SNAP benefits. The assistance program formerly known as food stamps that over 42 million people count on for grocery assistance, that's on average one in eight Americans.

Without a budget in place, those benefits could end for everybody this weekend. Gonna play a quick mini-game. It's called Good News, Bad News.

Oh, that means some good news is coming.

Okay.

Amber, you sweet summer child. There's... there's no good news coming.

It's coming. It is. The good news is that, thankfully, there's a $5.5 billion contingency fund set aside for the program in case of emergencies just like this. All week, the White House said

that they couldn't touch that money, but on Friday, two federal judges ruled that the administration must tap into that reserve even if it only partially funds SNAP.

All right, that is good news.

Yes. What's the catch? right, that is good news. Yes.

What's the catch?

Wait, there's no catch.

Look at... Look at...

Credits. Roll the credits.

That was it. That's our show.

Yay!

First, let's take a quick detour. How is Chuck Schumer responding to Trump blaming the Democrats, uh, for the...

He's probably agreeing.

Yeah.

Here's Senator Schumer. This president is a fucking liar. He says there's no money to provide food stamps because of the shutdown.

That's bullshit.

I think that was AI. Damn.

That was them weekend at Bernie. They shocked him.

That is the energy you bring. You put on your glasses, you reanimate your corpse, and you get to yelling. Everyone should be acting like this. Everyone should be acting like this.

That's the kind of Cobot we need.