Never judge a book by its cover. #shorts

You were supposed to be watching her.

Anything can happen.

Oh my god, there she is!

And who the hell are you touching pinkies?

Mom, no, no, no, wait.

Oh my god.

Oh my god!

Daughter, give me my phone.

Where's my phone? Mom, you don't understand. There were these two jerks from school that pushed me down and it really hurt. And JJ saw it. He lives upstairs. And then he got me ice cream to make me feel better and walked me home. Can I just help? No, it's okay. I'm good.

Excuse me.

I think you made a little pee come out.

JJ! I was just coming to get you. Come on, hurry! Some more towels, please.

Mom, JJ's here.

What? I'm here. Let me help.

Oh, no. I've got this under control.

Thank you. There's some plumbing in these old buildings. I just need to get under here. It's not a pipe. It's a loose fitting.

I'm telling you, it's a pipe.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

I guess you were right about the fitting.

Maybe JJ could stay for dinner.

No, I couldn't possibly.

Sorry, the chicken's a little dry.

Mm, yeah, it's really overcooked. If you think this is bad, One time in Afghanistan, we were cut off for a month. All we had to eat were these lizards. We couldn't shoot them, because that would attract the enemy. So we had to bash their little heads in with rocks. Really messy work. Um, I'm really sorry. Um, I'm really sorry.

I haven't had dinner with civilians in a long time.