News that isn’t about Charlie Kirk

Did you see the text between Charlie Kirk's killer and his roommate?

Stop!

You can come out now. I know you're out there.

That's right.

It's okay.

I know you still exist. What's going on? Last week there were mass protests in Nepal. For what? It was mostly young people protesting a corrupt government and a recent social media ban. What happened?

A lot of people died after clashes with the police, but ultimately the Prime Minister did resign. The UN Commission released its 72-page report on Gaza yesterday. Oh no. Israel is committing four of the five acts of genocide. The director of the FBI said that there was no credible information that Epstein trafficked

women for anyone else but himself. But thousands of pages of evidence contradict that. The White House is collecting a list of left-wing organizations they say are inciting violence. Okay, that's extremely concerning, but I'm trying to pay attention to this. Oh my god, guys, I didn't realize we were coming out of hiding! Oh, hey climate change news! Ooh, it is so hot and sticky!

Oh my god, it's so good to see you, its hottest summer on record. No, it's just that you tend to give my audience an existential crisis.

Oh.

Okay, see you guys.

That was awkward. Did you say something? Did you say something?

Nope, nothing.