Nothing says bad timing like being forced to stop mid-bathroom break.#shorts #viral #shameless

Philip Gallagher. Yeah, who's asking? Fort Dearborn military police. Can you step out of the stall, please? You know, I'm gonna be busy for a while, but you can join me if you want to wipe my ass You're Philip Gallagher Jesus what the hell is going on? Are you get off on watching guys taking a dump? That's your social security number blow me. Okay. Yeah You know this man. I've never seen him before in my life. Any idea how he got a hold of your name and social security number? No, but it's pretty scary.

You know, I'm feeling pretty violated over here. What's he, uh, what's he wanted for?

For impersonating you, apparently. Also for attempt to theft a government property and being away without leave.

Oh, shit, what did he try and steal? Air missile. Army issue boxer breaker. Sergeant! Mr. Gallagher, we may need you to testify.

We'll be in touch.

Well, uh, at ease, gentlemen. Well, uh, at ease, gentlemen. I've always wanted to say that.