Odd Layers.. ft. The Basement Yard || Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes Podcast

Okay

You can hum the intro today if you want. I don't know the intro

It's crazy. We know it obviously Frank you do it hit it. I mean, why don't we do it together?

You'll listen and you'll get there eventually we will yeah, that's fine. Are you guys ready for today? I'm very ready Yeah, I'm so excited to have you guys. People that are watching are already probably screaming in their cars, their house, wherever they are, because they've been begging for you guys.

Have they?

Wow.

Hands and knees.

I, whatever the-

Whoa.

Yeah, first of all, take it easy. Second of all, whatever the response is, is not enough. enough so I hope that they just ramp it up a little bit. The hands and knees wasn't enough? What else do you want them to do? Throw offerings at our feet maybe, you know.

Offerings? What would be your ideal offering?

That's a great question. Man, I mean I don't hate tropical fruit. I knew it would come in the form of food. Yeah, yeah, tropical fruit would be great.

Pineapple is supposed to be a really nice gift. I don't care about that. Is that something with swingers?

That's swingers. It is, it is, don't lie. You know it upside down pineapples?

I don't know. Upside down pineapple in your cart at the grocery store indicates swinging.

Well, grocery store. Allegedly.

I heard on like, I'm talking loud. I don't know why I'm so passionate about swinging. I am not. Not. Apparently on cruise ships, like cruises, if you put a pineapple on your door, it means come on in.

You know what I mean?

Welcome.

Yeah.

And that goes tenfold. So people bring their own pineapple decorations on the cruise?

Wouldn't shock me.

Yeah.

I've never been on a cruise.

Neither have I.

I haven't either.

No.

I kind of refuse.

I've seen the Titanic. Norovirus. Oh, that one too. I watched the Titanic on my flight yesterday.

Nice.

It's a great movie, it holds up.

It actually is really good. I went to the Titanic Museum.

That's what you did, where it was built. In Belfast.

Yeah.

Are you into the conspiracy theories though that the Titanic didn't sink, it was actually its sister ship, the Olympia. Have you gotten into that?

I don't know. What would be the point of the, you know,

I'm sure there is a point.

Insurance fraud.

Oh, okay. That's actually, that's a great point that I didn't think of until right now.

No, I think it went down.

I mean, all the, know that it was the Olympia. They thought it was the Titanic. Oh, I mean, does it matter?

Yeah.

Yeah, why would they bamboozle people in the 1910s?

Insurance money. Yeah. And then the banking thing, like, that's when the Federal Reserve was founded right after that and the three people that opposed it, the big other banky people that opposed it, died on the ship. Oh, I like this. And the last one, the fourth guy that was supposed to be on it, canceled right before he didn't go.

So it sounds like you're into the conspiracy theory and you want us to kind of be in it

with you. Yeah, I just like all conspiracy theories.

I like it. Oh, you're there? You're right on conspiracy? You involve a bank and I just believe it, to be honest with you. We probably sunk that thing. I mean, I don't know about us, it was probably like the British or someone.

I don't know.

We weren't, like the US wasn't evil yet.

The British.

Actually, they had some evil stuff going on.

Frank, we were founded on evil.

I was gonna say, I feel like we've been evil since the jump.

Yeah.

It's been.

Yeah, it's been an evil old time.

Yeah.

You know? I know 250 years this year and I'm like, it's not looking too hot.

Wow, I haven't thought about that.

Oh, we're getting into that conversation.

No, no, this is supposed to be fun.

Are you sure?

250 years.

Crazy.

It feels young.

I mean, not by Hollywood standards.

Yeah. Oh my God.

Okay, okay.

Do you wish you could live forever?

No. No, no, we're not doing, no. Do you wish you could live forever? These existential questions always freak me out because then on my drive home, I'm gonna think about it and it's gonna ruin the rest of my day. I don't know if I would wanna live forever,

but I would live to like 120.

I would take like 150, 175.

Something like that. That's a lot, guys. I think that, yeah, but I think that like I would be really sad once you're like, none of my friends or whatever around.

I could probably do like 20 years of that, but then I'd be like, bro, just...

Yeah, no, it's my time.

Yeah.

I don't know. That's why 120, like, max.

Give me, give me like an okay 75 and then the back 10 is just miserable, I'm very content with that. That's so bleak. It is. I mean, that's also so realistic.

A decade of misery?

You're halfway there right now.

First of all, why do you have to put it like that?

That's crazy.

The drive home's gonna be insane.

I'm so sorry.

It's gonna be silent.

It's not your fault, it's technically his.

It is 100% my fault. and your wife, you're gonna be in a nice little assisted living place together. The most sex is in assisted living homes and nursing homes. STD rates there climb. They don't use protection at all. Because they can't get pregnant, apparently. Allegedly, but.

If I'm 80, give me the clap.

What do I care?

You'll bring your little pineapple decor to the nursing home.

You think I'm swinging at 80?

Bro, why not? If I'm 80 and like hurt,

you know me, I get, I get set in my ways. You think by 80 I'm going to be like, let's just switch this up. I mean, I don't think so. Maybe you could be a completely different person. You never know. I'll be, I, I, you know, because at that point things will you know, societal norms will change to the point where I have to be like, well, back in my day, that's the natural progression of, of, you know, of life. So I'm hoping, and then, you know, I've eaten too much Lunchables to really have a good

like gastrointestinal thing going on. Can I, can I drop a hard lunch?

Yeah. A hard lunch? Yeah.

A hard lunch? Is Spotify gonna have to pay for that?

No.

Can we drop a hard lunch?

No, but now I'm very concerned about your colon health.

You and me both.

Yeah.

We should talk about colonoscopies after this. We don't need to. Colon Cancer Awareness Month is coming.

I mean, listen, I am aware of my colon and I think I'm doing okay. Oh, you're okay? I didn't expect to talk about my colon today.

Scoped, scoped, scoped.

You've been scoped?

I have received some- Scoping? Some scoping.

Okay, so you're on a good track?

They're keeping an eye out on things. You know, it's like the landlord that checks in every now and then opens the doors like everything. All right, what's up? You're on it Okay, we're circling back on someone here Needs to start. Yeah, I gotta scope this year

It's time. Yeah, it's time

He said he's only gonna do it if they use like the old-timey like Fire blower thing if they put it in there and then, no, you know, like the one in the old cartoons where it has like you a fan of flame

Yeah, like oh, yeah. What is that? It's like for fires. It is a fire fire It's like a bagpipe almost but for fire it's um, like a I don't know what it is

Well, here's the thing. You don't need to look it up. We can just call it something and say that's the name of it Frank's insinuating that I'm going to put that into myself and blow up my colon I don't think you're gonna blow into yourself, but someone will be behind you

Someone will be doing it. I cannot I don't even know what you Google to find this is not coming up Google

We're very good a flame fire fan fire fit fire fire pump for old-timey Don't type in what he said. I feel like it's gonna work though Old-timey pump why old-timey fire pump? It's not a pump. It's not air pump fire full-time It's like an it's like a flame fan. Yeah, and it's like an

accordion accordion, yeah It's similar vibes though like yeah, okay, okay cool What a start I know I don't know I don't know where we're at right now. I didn't take any Adderall I haven't taken Adderall in years I was gonna take some today to like try to be more on top of things and Then my tooth broke yesterday and my life has just been like crazy since yeah, and I don't know where we're at, but I should actually introduce you guys, because I'm horrible at doing that,

and I want to make sure we do justice and we do it right. Hi guys, I'm Morgan. Welcome to another episode of Two Hot Takes. Today, I've got the basement yard guys, Joe and Frank.

Hello, thank you for having me so much. That's what I would call a pause for applause.

I'm really into the blankets, it's very cozy, and I wore my cozy sweater too, so I'm extra cozy.

You're right.

We didn't talk about making sure we wore the same colors,

but.

You coordinated very well.

We, it was completely accidental, which just, I think. If I had my feet up, I'm falling asleep.

Yeah.

We have a box for you see you in the camera. Do I? Yeah. Oh wow, I got my belt.

Can I say something?

No.

Your knees look huge.

Please don't talk. I think it's the pattern.

It's the pattern. It's the pattern, because look.

It's the pattern. Look at how big that knee looks. It's an optical. That's an insane knee. Yeah, dude, it looks like you're wearing knee pads. Oh my gosh. Thanks for having us.

I'm so excited to have you guys. Let's dive in.

Sure.

This episode of Two Attics is presented by State Farm. It can be hard choosing the juiciest story for you guys on this podcast. And if you need help making a choice, State Farm helps you choose the coverage that matters most to you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. My listeners told me that you don't like poop.

See, why do we, why is that like, why is that where we're starting?

He hates poop.

He doesn't like burping, farts.

Don't like bodily functions put on display. I think that they're atrocious. How do you feel about cats?

Love cats.

Okay, this will be an interesting juxtaposition.

Pooping cats.

Oh God. I mean, like animal poop, whatever. Like, they don't know what they're talking about. They're idiots, animals. So like, I kind of accept animal poop, but like humans that should know better

about talking about their own fecal matter, bodily functions. They suck.

This first one is coming from true off my chest. It is four days old. Titled I just found out my boyfriend uses our dish sponge to wash the cat's dirty litter box. I'm going to throw up.

Already no. That's against the rules.

One.

Hold on.

There should be a, can I also say that if you do have an animal

and there's things that you need to clean in your house,

there should be a separate brush that we are all aware of so that we can clean those things.

But my question is, if you're cleaning, the soap should kill whatever the bacteria is. Don't start with that. So then why would you use one toothbrush for everyone in your house? I mean, maybe, I wouldn't mind.

You're disgusting.

Why? It's my wife and my children.

No, dude.

There are just some lines you don't cross. I mean, but like toothbrush is different because like, you're not like, sanitizing your toothbrush.

Oh my God. Let's give you a little more details because this is just I'm like nauseous now. I regret this choice So I asked my boyfriend to clean the cat's litter tray today and I watched and kind of helped him with it When he was in the kitchen, I saw him washing something I asked him if he was doing the dishes only for him to tell me no, I'm washing the sponge So there's no litter in it. Mm-hmm. We use that sponge for dishes, our glasses, my fancy

baking equipment. It's a dish sponge. I was in disbelief, so I asked, you mean the scrub daddy? The dish sponge? He confirmed, yeah, our scrub daddy. I instantly told him not to do that, and he asked me why not. I told him because he was just cleaning cat pee with it. He told me but I'm washing the litter out What else am I meant to be washing it with? I don't know a hand towel a cloth a kitchen roll I told him a cloth and he said the ones we own can't really be washed

I told him I'm buying us a new sponge and I threw the old one away He seemed very defensive and is out and away with his mates for a drink. I'm now sitting at home, feeling so sick to my stomach I can feel bile in my throat. He's washed the cat's litter tray twice before this. This means it won't have been the first time he's used our dish sponge to clean a dirty litter box. Our dishes have been washed with a cat pee scrub daddy on multiple occasions prior to my knowledge, and I've been none the wiser. I cook, he does

the dishes. You really can't trust anybody else's food, even in your own home apparently.

Oh my God. I mean, I'm not into this at all. There's so much that we can take away from this. First of all-

Are you okay with that?

I think we need to, the person that submitted this, we need to check their vitals, their health, because what if this is just a shining example of someone that is like in the best health of their life, best shape of their life?

How is this where your mind goes?

And then maybe it has to do with the fact, like, there is a clear link and difference between what this person is doing and other people. Maybe the cat piss is like a secret ingredient. So you're okay with this? Okay is a stretch.

What about toxoplasmosis?

See, but I don't know what that is, so it doesn't exist.

What's toxoplasmosis?

It's this, like, bacteria that cats can often harbor, and it's really bad. It's an infective parasite. You can get it from eating undercooked meat as well.

It did sound like a really delicious brunch drink. I was gonna say, that doesn't sound like something I, that's a cool sounding thing to have. Yeah, progzosis mimosa. What happened?

That sounded good.

I had infectoprosmosis, that's like an 80s hair metal band.

What is it called, What is it again? Toxoplasmosis. Yeah, toxo, toxo's not good. Toxic, toxo.

That also sounds like a Ninja Turtle villain, too. So I don't hate it.

Yeah, it's really bad if you're pregnant. That's why pregnant people aren't even supposed to clean litter boxes, because it can cause birth defects.

Like, it's very serious. We should get dogs then. Problem solved. The only difference between a dog and a cat is that the cats have a litter box that's like 3x3 and the dogs whole apartment or house is their litter box.

And dog owners are like, I feel like, to generalize, sorry, dog owners are like less tidy than cat owners. Like dog owners constantly don't pick up their dog's shit and it's disgusting.

Whoa, not me. I'm picking it up. And it's outside. What are we talking about here? It's not in the apartment. He picks it up and he sniffs it.

I just went to a condo building the other day and there was dog shit right in the lobby.

Here's the thing. Well, that's insane. I know. That is craziness.

They didn't come back and pick it up. Well bring their dogs everywhere too and it's to the point where like service dogs are getting disrupted while they're trying to do their job because of everyone else's little pet. I got Coco barking and shitting down the aisles at the grocery store.

Can't have that.

I just, so you're against service dogs?

That's not what I said.

He's not listening.

I said service dogs are great and they're just out there trying to do their job and they're getting attacked by the average pet that People are bringing to the store in line and saying it's a service dog as a dog owner

I am not a fan of people bringing dogs where they're not supposed to be. I think you can kind of get away with like a

Brewery if there's an outdoor area, that's it it. The grocery store grosses me out. Grocery stores, it's an animal.

Like literally someone with this big ass doodle, like it was a sheep a doodle, so it was really, really tall. And it was like smelling all the food. It was licking pastry items in the bakery.

Like what?

And they're big mops of, and again, this is as a dog owner, who's got a fuzzy dog. You have a doodle don't you? I have a doodle. Yeah. And I mean he's got a lot of hair so like even when he's outside or you know just walking around. He's picking up stuff. He's a mop of shit. You can't bring him around. He's dirty. Food and stuff. It's like people that drop food in their beards. Yeah. But your dog like that's your dog. You can't have people with long beards in the supermarket rubbing it all over the boxes.

You know what I mean? You would not like that.

There's also a part of this story that we're completely ignoring.

Okay, yeah, let's get back to the cat. Yeah.

We are also ignoring the fact that this guy is... First of all, men are... like, just like stupid, you know? And that's coming as he's a dog owner, I am a man. And this is a classic example of like, I told him to clean and he's just like, all right, I'm going to do it.

You got it.

Like you got it. Like, weren't you just advocating for like, this isn't a big deal? Because it isn't a big deal because of things like toxic prognosis. I've never heard of that. So like I said, it didn't exist. But also, if I can victim blame for a quick second, you gotta know you're dealing with dumb creatures here.

So like, you need to tell him a little more like, by the way, here's what you should use to clean it. Now, he also could be a prick and he could have been using some, you know, classic like, what's it, weaponized negligence or something like that.

Weaponized negligence or something like that. Weaponized incompetence. That's it. That's what I was getting at. That's what I'm thinking.

Because she's like, he's out with his mates, which first of all... British. 100%. Yeah.

So...

Or Australian. No, they would say like, they say mate.

Do they use pint down there?

Down under? So the opposite way, they don't call it a pint, they call it a cask. No.

That's incorrect.

No, like he went to get a pint.

Yeah, I think this is British. This is, this is, we could, you know, there is someone in London eating cat shit with their stuff. I, I, again, I am, so I have something like this.

Okay.

So. You have lactoprosthmosis. No, I don't have that. What I have is These three brushes, okay that are next to my sink in order to use to clean dishes But there's one brush in particular that is like separate from those that that is just for the dog bowls So if we're cleaning the dog bowls, it's gonna be that one not the ones that we're using. Yeah, obviously But like that's how it should be. I would never. You, I mean like, I mean, you know me too.

If I leave a plate out and like I forget to put a plate in the dishwasher and then I'm away for the weekend and I come home, I'm throwing the plate out. Cause I'm like too much time with this being out and maybe there's some mold and I just can't get over it, I'm throwing the plate out. He has, we've talked about it a lot on our show. He fully, like I was there when it happened, threw out a whole dishwasher's worth of cutlery and plates and bowls.

I made a penne alla vodka and I like, you kind of like wash the dishes before you put it in the dishwasher. And I put it in and I closed it and I forgot to start it. And then I was away. So when I came back, I saw that there was some mold.

I was like, I'm throwing it all out.

Well, why didn't you give it a chance in the dishwasher? It was already there. You could have at least given it a pity wash.

First of all, the dishwasher was lucky I didn't throw him out. Because I threw out all the dishes dishwasher like four times with nothing in it, just to get it super clean. So germs are a big deal for you? It's like they are and aren't. Like it's, I don't know why with dishes, that's where I am and also like toothbrushes, like I'm not into that.

Yeah.

If you dropped a Snickers on the floor, would you eat it?

Hell no.

Oh.

See, I would. You would eat it, obviously. It depends on how hungry I am.

Yeah.

For a Snickers?

Or like a baguette, like something good.

A baguette, where are you?

Just walking around with a baguette.

Oh my God, we dropped our baguette.

Oh no.

Pick it up.

If it's on the street, the raw ground.

No. No, not a sidewalk here for sure.

But like in your own home.

A sidewalk where?

I don't know.

Like a cleaner? Like a Vienna sidewalk.

I'm like just thinking like if I bought a fresh croissant from like a little pastry place and it just falls out of my hand.

It depends how it falls too. If it hits the ground and I can pick it up and be like, I'm just gonna rip that part out, then I might go for it. It's gonna be tough if it hits the sidewalk though, I'll be honest.

No, I think sidewalk is like, you just gotta get rid of it. You gotta toss it. But that's when if, you know, like that has happened to me, and I'll go, I absolutely do. But I also have no shame, so.

He's a Karen.

Stop that.

Don't do that.

Excuse me.

A Karen?

I dropped it for not your fault. Technically, I slipped on your sidewalk. I dropped it for not your fault. Oh my gosh.

The top comment on this cat story, why did you throw out the sponge? That is now the dedicated litter box cleaning sponge. Fair. That's fair.

You could. You could. I think it was more of like an anger thing. Yeah. Let me get this thing out of here, it's cursed.

Also throw out the guy.

Get rid of him.

Oh, we going that far?

I mean, why not?

Why not?

Sure, okay.

No one will, this person will never hear this, so.

Also, it's a Scrub Daddy. I don't really know what they retail for,

but aren't those like-

Scrub Daddies are- They're kind of bougie.

Aren't they expensive? They're not, but they last forever. I'm saying just to throw the thing out. This is, first of all, I'm a huge advocate for Scrub Daddy, which I know they need all the PR they can get.

Oh, they're $6.

Oh.

That's not too bad.

For a sponge?

For one sponge though?

Well, for one sponge, but they last forever.

Sitting on a Spotify set, like, oh, $6 for a sponge, not bad.

I feel like with my baguette on the floor. I mean, I buy the off-brand magic erasers. Like, those are bougie.

I've never owned a Scrub Daddy, but I gotta get into it.

It's gonna change your life.

Oh, especially the one with the handle?

Oh, yeah.

That you can like, stick it in the mouth and see. You had to go to the vet for it. That's what I've seen. The Shark Tank. Just like smaller things. Yeah, they have different sides. The mommy has two sides. She's more useful. She has an abrasive and a soft comforting side.

If you have glass surfaces, there's an amazing little kit they sell with like this citrus paste. The paste, the putty?

It's good stuff.

So good.

Putty for what?

To clean your glass.

Forget him, he doesn't know. He's not a scrub boy. He's clean boy. He likes clean. He would love this. Yeah, but he's not on the scrub daddy train yet.

Well, he's just, he can be included.

This is messed up.

This is so messed up.

Don't exclude your friend.

I'm being bullied.

Okay, well, Catgirl, she was so embarrassed by it. She did delete the post. So I don't know if She deleted it. Oh, she, so what were people saying?

Were they on her side?

Yeah.

Oh, okay. I mean, we know why.

Maybe the guy was like, yeah, you're throwing me under the bus here.

Well, he's British. So he said that. Throw me under the double decker bus here. You throw me into a tube.

That's the train train. Yeah, but well, yeah Yeah, I mean, I don't know why she deleted it a lot of people are like congrats You've been eating off the litter box this whole time. Oh, yeah, maybe that's why that's fucking disgusting He's gonna need to buy a new sponge This ladies and gentlemen is called weaponized incompetence, right? Wow

He's like he was just like, all right, you want to date? I'm gonna date, I want to date my wife. That's probably exactly how he said it. Can you explain exactly what that term means?

So it's come up recently. A good example is a story I've had on the podcast before. And so it's when people will purposefully do tasks wrong so that they stopped being asked to do them.

Interesting.

So this girl asked her boyfriend, hey, can you do the laundry? And he couldn't figure out how to wash anything. He'd combine everything, he'd throw bleach in with black. He was horrible at the laundry because he didn't want to do it.

Why can't you do it, babe?

Got it.

So anytime he would try, he would mess it up. He bleached her little black dress, and she tried to fix it with a Sharpie. Didn't work. And so in order to kind of punish him for his weaponized incompetence, she wore that black dress to one of his work dinners

or something to embarrass him.

He did that.

Well, I don't know that that's the best course of action.

A little petty revenge. He did that. Well, I don't know that that's the best course of action. Too petty for you?

I'm gonna get you back by wearing this dress that makes me look a little crazy. So it's about the intent? Like the intent, like I am going to do this wrong on purpose. You've never heard that term? I have heard the term, I was just getting a clarification because I can understand from like the context clues of like the words, but an example like would help me better understand that. But that's why I was going back and forth with like a guy being like,

I've always just thrown the whites and colors together and I just kind of like wash them like that.

Like that's just incompetence. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But if you're purposefully doing it, that's what that's the work.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. All right. Yeah, that is an insane thing to do in any regard.

It's happening a lot.

Oh, yeah, I know. I've heard so many stories about how mentally unhealthy a lot of people are, especially in their relationships.

Something like that is just, I am going to do it wrong. That doesn't serve anybody. It doesn't even serve you. No, it does not, it does not. I like to be petty in other ways. Not that. Not that. Pretty sure my dad did this to me for years. He would ruin my laundry all the time.

And then he was like, well, you don't want to ruin it, do it yourself.

There's a lesson in there.

And you learned, yeah. I did, I did learn. and he never washed my stuff again. I didn't even, he wasn't doing my laundry. It was in the wash and I was gonna take it out and move it. He thought he was helping me and then he shrunk all my shirts.

See, that's nice that you think that because my dad would have thrown it in a dryer, burnt it, and it would have been my fault.

Oh my gosh.

I do that to myself. So I, you know, in order to learn about which materials shrink and which ones don't, I eventually had to learn that I actually had to learn that the hard way. And I bought, for some reason, I was feeling myself and bought a cashmere sweater. And then out of the dryer, it could have fit Stuart little.

It was- You can stretch it back out, you know?

Wish I had known that.

You threw it away.

I threw that out with my pots and pans. So that one, I was just like, well, okay,

well, let's just pretend it says mold on it.

What the hell?

Would you eat a piece of bread

that had a little piece of mold on it?

Today?

Morgan.

No. Five years ago, I would have torn the mold off and eaten it. COVID? I was on a food stamp card. I was eating anything I could find. A baguette on the ground, a snicker on the street.

Weaponizing, weaponization of poverty.

Oh my gosh.

Don't you hate?

I come from, because like, I definitely used to be the person that would be like, cut around it, you know? But now I'm just, I saw one thing that was just like.

I'm scared of food poisoning. I had norovirus once. Me too. Never wanna go through that again. Was going through it. I needed three IVs. Three?

I got my first one because of it. Yeah, so good. And I was like, now I'm addicted.

But you are.

What are they putting in those IV drips?

Everything.

I get the all-inclusive one.

Sprinkle a little like fent's bad. No, it's got all the good stuff.

All the B vitamins.

Yeah.

Sometimes I put some.

You get the yellow bag?

Yeah. And glutathione. I get some Zofran if I'm feeling a little nauseous.

Ooh, I get that.

I get that. Well, I got that, I should say. I've never done if someone tells me to like hang out that has something to do with needles, say no.

You don't like IVs?

I don't mind IVs, but like, I almost got one before our MSG show. Becca like hit me up and she, my wife was like, I want you to be in the best health possible, so I booked you an appointment to do an IV. You know, it was sweet. And then it was the day of and I was like, I just don't want to do this. So I have a credit to do it, but I haven't done it yet.

You'll really like it.

I'm sure I will.

You don't even feel the needle go in.

See, but needles don't bother me at all. At all. I've been poked and prodded with enough

that like-

What's the issue with the IVs? Yeah, like why don't you like it? I overthink because I will be the type of person that's just like, okay, what is actually in that bag? Are they just telling me it's, you know, like all these vitamins, but it's actually like yellow Gatorade or something?

No, it's legit.

They'd get in big trouble.

Yellow Gatorade? I mean, they would the approach of like, I'm not gonna get into it because if I do get into it and I do like it, now we got a big problem on our hands because I'm not gonna want to stop.

It's not affordable enough to be an addiction.

That's how I am with like Pokemon cards. If I start, once you pop it, you can't stop. Like Pringles. Okay name every brand you can Lunchables Pringles, I threw a soft C in there

Okay, let's move on to this next one, okay This is coming from relationship advice. It's five days old titled My boyfriend 31 male is mad at me 28 female because I let my cousin touch my old days old, titled, My Boyfriend, 31 Male, Is Mad at Me, 28 Female, Because I Let My Cousin Touch My Old Implants.

Where were the implants? Were they still implanted or were they explanted? Uh-huh. Supplanted.

My cousin was over at my house, my first cousin, the closest I had to a brother growing up. He was sitting down and he looked across the living room and said, is that an implant? I said yeah and I let him see it. He was like whoa that's crazy and then I said want to see what the inside of one looks like? Because one was ruptured and the texture is super weird. He said it's sticky like a glue trap. That was the whole interaction.

So it was not in her body?

No. No. My boyfriend was watching the security cameras in the living room.

Uh oh.

First of all, spying on-

Uh oh.

Spying on someone and their cousin? New level of insecurity. Yeah, now we're getting into black mirror level shit. This is weird.

And he got pissed. He said that it was inappropriate and sexual and quote, white people fuck their cousins.

That they do.

That they do. So I was feeling that.

I was feeling the whiteness in the room. Yeah, there was a clear whiteness in this. There was white like around. Only white cousins would be like, where are your old tits?

Yeah, like is that your old boob over there? You know what I mean?

OP says, seriously, what the fuck? He said, you should have known that was disgusting letting your cousin touch your tits. And he said, I am disrespecting him by doing something sexual.

I don't, I think he's going a little crazy. Yeah, I don't think it's disgusting or disrespectful. I think It is strange. However, it sounds like there are some bigger control issues. I'm like here big fat. Oh, yeah

Yeah, I never would have equated touching an implant outside of my body Especially a ruptured one was the same as touching my boob I said, I understand how that may have upset him and I can can respect his opinion, and I'm sorry it hurt him. It won't happen again. But he is still claiming I should have known better. This is something that doesn't feel like anyone would have expected or automatically

known. I guess I just don't know what to do anymore. I know this isn't healthy. I'm just shocked he reacted this way and this badly. We've never been perfect, but this is a completely different level of anger. He's been an amazing man in the past. He's been super tense lately. And

he's never gotten mad at something like this before. Pertinent info, we have been together for almost four years. We have had fights in the past, but all couples do. He's Arabic, I'm white. We have security cameras because there have been several break-ins, and the police said until we get the guy on camera, they won't do anything, even though they have seen him on our property multiple times and running from the house after we

caught him.

I do think that this guy's a little nuts, for sure. Because I don't think that's like sexual.

For me, it just like feels scientific. It's like a medical thing.

Like, scientific feels like feels scientific. It's like a medical thing.

Scientific feels like a stress.

I mean, I've felt people's implants for like scientific reasons while they're in their body.

Different.

Scientific.

Different.

I had never felt one and I was like.

Sounds like curiosity.

Yeah.

You're not part of experiments. We're also, we are completely.

I'm doing it for science, alright? I got a lab back home. Every guy out there listening is gonna be like, that's how I'm gonna touch a boob again. Science.

No, I'm actually a doctor.

Oh my god, okay, I hear it now.

I'm an expert.

I was curious, I'd never felt an implant.

No, of course.

We're avoiding a huge part of this that is questionable. The security cameras. No, no, no, because it sounds like, it sounds like they, well, first of all, sounds like they added some context as to why the security cameras are there. Why her husband is watching it, strange. During the day.

Also, they're like, why?

She's with the cousin, too. But also, why do you just have a ruptured implant just sitting out on your coffee table. Presumably that's where it was. If it was in like a bedroom, then we're approaching a little strange, but like, I don't know that I would go out of my way to tell my, like to ask my cousin if I could touch an implant.

But if I did, I don't, I think it's a giant stretch for people to be like, well, that's sexual, you're touching your cousin's tit. I'd be like, bro, first of all, where was it? This is the hospital. This doesn't even hurt. There's a lot of context we're missing.

Like if this happened in like Alabama, I would be like, all right, maybe there's some room to understand that this is a little weird, but like elsewhere, not that bad.

Yeah.

A new level of insecurity. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's really insecure, really controlling and weird that he logged into the camera to like watch them.

I'm with my cousin. What are you like scared of?

He's insecure and scared that they're going to hook up. White people fuck their cousins. That is crazy.

Yeah, no, that's first of all, wild generalization. That's a crazy generalization.

All right. I do have an incest story in one of my tabs.

Like... Oh, we're going? We're going there? Maybe. A hard eye?

We can see where we go. We don't know.

Well, that defeats the purpose of my entire case here.

Well, go, go.

No, no.

What I was just going to say is that, one, I think that's strange. If that was me in that situation, I'd be like, the insecurity is kind of wild. And you just blanket statement saying that white people fuck their cousins and that's why I'm watching as if that's an appropriate excuse for spying on me. And then it's, it also sounds like this person, like there is a clear power dynamic and control dynamic here

because she immediately, when like, he's been stressed lately, like he's been going through it. And it's like, how many times have you had to say that You know, like, that is a little... I don't... I hope this person's okay.

Yeah, we do get a little bit of an update, um, after some comments, but OP does also share, like, he's super possessive. Um, he's never had an issue with my cousin before. His previous statements were like, quote, you're mine, you can wear what you want because at the end of the night, you're coming home with me.

He was kind of possessive like that, but that didn't scream red flags at me.

I would say this does though. This is screaming red flags.

He equated touching the implants as like almost like, it's just like letting your cousin play with your dildo.

That's insane!

Is that something that happens?

Yeah, that is so different.

No, but that's how he's comparing it. It's like, it's so inappropriate to let your cousin touch your old implant. You basically let him play with your dildo.

No way in hell.

This person's stretching.

That is crazy.

I mean- Reaching, is what I was like. I will say this had this been a dildo short conversation Yeah, yeah, this is very weird. Yeah, what's this? Yeah, just like holding a dildo being like, oh I always wanted to see one you like chill dude. This is too crazy now Well, you what were you playing with? I was going like this. That was it. Sorry. Yeah, exactly

That's a little too crazy. But like I'm out and about I was just going like this. That was- Sword fighting. Yeah, exactly.

That's a little too crazy. But like an out and about former retired implant. Yeah.

I think that's okay.

It's like, you know,

I wouldn't do it.

It's been taken out to pasture, you know what I mean? It's like the old police dogs that are like on their last legs. It's retired.

Yeah. It's not even in the game anymore. Old police dogs? I just heard, I was like, whoa, what?

Fido?

Just move, like I'm saying, it's like the old police dogs that are on their last leg. It's like, they're not even in, they're not even working right now. You know what I mean? Like it's over there.

Yeah. OP does have a comment where she's like, it's basically like device That would be a little weird too

Saying that an implant is a medical device is also a little...

It could be, it could be a medical device It's like saying scientific instead of you know curious but it's not medical

It feels like it though

It's like...

Would you call like I'm just thinking of like a male equivalent like a penis pump that's a medical device. Well that, see, now this is,

I don't know, for some reason that feels different. Because if it had been reversed, and it was like, a woman was upset that a guy was letting his cousin play with his penis pump that he used to have. That feels a little stranger.

Also, for some reason, I think, haven't we like debunked penis pumps? No, it's a real thing. Oh, it's real. Yeah, they're real You have no like snake oil. You have to squeeze the balls to pump them up. Yeah, you do. I don't See real device. Yeah, I'm sure it's a real device but like That feels different. Yeah, it does feel different. It's just a circular bag. We do have a picture of the implant. Oh, let's get a gander. What am I looking at? It looks like a Petri dish. It's an implant.

It's a top view. So it's like-

That's a giant implant.

Yeah, it looks like a lot of CCs.

That looks like a, maybe, is that like the-

That's the rupture.

That's like when people like zoom in on like, you know, like germs under a microscope.

It does look similar to a Petri dish. Am I crazy? Or am I not getting the scale? I'm pretty sure- Because that looks massive. I mean, that's the arm of the sofa, so I mean, it looks like it's maybe an 8-inch arm. It's like a softball? It's splooted. Like, it's like sploot, like on the arm of the sofa.

Oh, it's- Some people put their implants under the muscle and the muscle holds shape. There's multiple ways to do that.

Yeah, I mean, even staring at that, there's nothing really overtly sexual about that. Yeah, it sounds like someone that was just insecure.

Those, like, everyone's got them these days, those little squishy things. They're like ice cubes or like fruit. They went super viral.

Do I drop another brand here or just?

I got a list of them. Do I drop another brand here or just?

I got a list of them.

I got them ready, locked and loaded.

Oh my gosh, you're so funny.

Yeah, I think this guy's super controlling. Yeah, it sounds not good. Also the anger and just like letting it linger, like that just feels strange.

Very strange.

OP said he got a new Mercedes and so maybe that's why he's so stressed.

Yeah, you know, getting a new, brand new Mercedes and so maybe that's why he's so stressed. Yeah, you know getting a new brand new Mercedes- Do you know how difficult it is to ride around in my Mercedes?

A brand new one at that. A brand new one- You just don't get it.

You want to talk about stress in a world like we're living in?

Yeah.

Try having a Mercedes.

My gosh. Try driving one of those off the lot and finding out that your wife's at home letting her cousin play with her boobs. If you think the atrocities in the world hold a candle to the stress that it causes to drive a brand new sports car, you have no idea what you're talking about. Homeless guy came up to me, asked me for a couple bucks. I'm like, can't you see I'm driving a Mercedes?

I'm going through it right now as well.

Yeah.

Gosh. Mercedes I'm going through it right now as well. Yeah, gosh, geez, you know how much

It's true what were you saying I was just gonna keep piggybacking off of what he said, but I saw though it was time to stop

They told me right over there I would have let you go on There is an edit. We are done.

Yeah, good.

I'm just in shock at this point. I don't even know how we got to this point. And honestly, I'm really hurt that he just flipped into a completely different person.

I'm glad. Yeah. Is there another edit that she's now dating her cousin? Because that would be the cherry on top.

That would be awesome. That would get us. I'll check their comments one more time, but I don't think so.

Another edit, I'm in love with my cousin.

Just let that be a lesson though. You could be dating a guy for four years, as soon as you find out in a situation like that, they're like, whoa, what's going on? Just know that that's not a one-off. Also weird for the cousin. If he heard this and like she told the cousin the story, he'd be like, do you like me or something?

Yeah, like what the hell are we talking about?

Why was he so nervous?

It's very weird.

You reminded me of a story and now I'm like, wait, I want to get your take on it. It wasn't on my agenda. But this, yes.

Okay.

So this one is coming from am I the asshole? It's titled am I the asshole for not wanting my soon-to-be brother-in-law at my wedding? Oh Let's go. Hi everybody. I'm a 26 female about to get married to my wonderful fiance 28 male He and I have been together for five years and our wedding is set to take place this spring So for some backstory when I was 18, I was on a date with a guy who was 18 too. We went out to dinner and I thought we had a really great time and I really liked him.

After our date, I texted him telling him I had a great time and would love to meet him again. He just responded with telling me thanks that he enjoyed our date, but he did not find a connection with me and would not wanna see me anymore, as he felt it wouldn't be fair to me.

I really liked this guy and I was heartbroken, but I moved on. Three years later, I met my now husband. When I met him, I had no idea as to who he was. We hit it off and clicked instantly and fell hard for each other.

It was not until six months later when I was at dinner with his family and his brother was there And that's when I realized that his brother was the guy I went on a date with. Yeah, I Explained this to my husband. He was fine with it I also messaged his brother telling him I did not know that they were related in any way

But that I really liked his brother and would like it if he did not let our past together disturb my relationship. He responded by telling me that we were all good. However, he has continually flirted with me.

No.

When we meet for dinner, he always flirts, saying stuff like, my dress looks nice, that I look great, or telling me that something specific on the menu looks like I might like it. He always does this in front of my husband, who has not said a word about this. He also tries to make me jealous all the time. Like when we are all out with his family, he sometimes brings a

girl with him, and if they have been dating for some time, he will always kiss her on the cheek, talk with her all the time, and flirts with her. I have kept my mouth shut about this as to not cause anything bad between him and my fiancé, but with wedding planning and sending out invites, I just had to say something. I told him I don't want his brother there because his brother always flirts with me and tries to make me jealous. My fiancé looked dumbfounded and asked when this happens, if his brother does this stuff when he is in the bathroom or is simply not looking.

I told him no and brought up all the things that I did here in this post. My fiancé laughed and asked me if I was okay in the head and if I was joking. I got angry at him and I said that if he could not see how truly disgusting his brother's behavior is, then he is not who I thought he was. We have barely talked since then.

I got a text from his brother saying that he was sorry if he ever made me feel uncomfortable and that he had no intention to make me feel that way. My fiance is still mad at me. Was I really the asshole for this? I just want my happiest day to be my happiest day.

And it can't be that if I have to worry about his brother doing something.

Okay, that was a doozy. I mean, asshole isn't the word.

Narcissist feels appropriate here.

He's really flirting with me. He said, I look good? You would really like the steak. Yeah, he told me I'd really like the mozzarella sticks. What the hell's his issue?

He kissed the girl he came with that he likes. What are you trying to make me jealous?

What's going on, dude?

Yeah, it's a little.

First of all, didn't she say that she really liked the guy after one date?

She was heartbroken.

Heartbroken after one date.

One of those.

Immediate red flag.

Yeah.

You know, I mean,

did she not know that that was the brother?

Who's to say this feels like it wouldn't be outside. Yeah, this is also in today's day and age, like if this person is saying they're how old, they're 26, so and they went on a date when they were 18, eight years ago, social media still around.

Yeah.

You know, I almost.

2018, yeah.

Yeah, so I imagine that she was going on a date with this new guy who ended up being her partner, like husband, You got a stalk You got a stalk?

Do you think she stalked him?

It sounds like she might have known

Do you feel like this is purposeful?

Do people even date without stalking? I'm not going that far Who wouldn't do that? But it's not called stalking anymore because that is a crime

Well yeah not the federal

It's called like looking around

Taking a peek.

Taking a peek.

Perusing.

So what?

I love a peruse.

A peruse in your life? Yeah, you peruse a little.

I love a peruse.

So what? You look at their whole social media history. It's out there.

It's public information.

As long as you're not like, that's when it gets bad.

Yeah. Has someone done that?

Nothing I know of. I'm sure it's happened though.

I'm certain.

I'm sure it's happened. It does, I don't know, like what Joey said, I don't know if asshole is the right term.

Okay.

I think this person has some stuff that they need to work through mental health professional. I don't wanna sit here and be the guy that's just like, don't believe her, don't, you know, like clearly she's feeling something that is real, but what is causing it to feel that way might be something, you know? And there's history there.

Is she trying to make, you know, a metaphorical square peg fitting a round hole? You know what I'm saying?

I don't know.

I think that she probably enjoys the fantasy of there being this like, both of these guys and she wants the brother to really be interested in her, so she's creating these scenarios kind of in her head and just kind of overanalyzing everything. But he's just trying to be a normal guy.

Because when you're reading that, I'm like, oh, no, he's gonna start flirting. And then it's kind of like, oh, you look really nice. And like, for you to take that as something because you were so attached to this person at one time, it feels like it's the calls coming from inside the house.

And I love that you said that. There's also a lot of context that we're missing here. You know, it's possible that like the foods he was saying she might really like, maybe they were like overly phallic foods, you know? Maybe it was just like, oh, you would love the Wienerschnitzel.

You know, like you would love the chorizo. Like maybe there's context that we're not getting

that could help her side a little bit. I'm just playing devil's adve. Yeah, no, I appreciate that. I feel like overall, I think she's just either really delusional, maybe just kind of off her rocker a bit, or no one has ever been nice to her, ever. Like, to just be told, like, oh, you look nice and think it's flirting.

Are people usually really mean to you? Like what? That would, in a vacuum, I think that that would make sense. But the fact that you went on one date and then you were heartbroken, like to me, that kind of gets me to believe that there's a little bit of like narcissism involved.

Like I think that certain people like that also will almost, in a way, pretend that they're heartbroken so that they can get some sort of attention from other people. And like, look at this thing that happened to me. I was dating this guy and then he ghosted me.

And normal people are gonna be like, it was one day who cares? You know, like, even if you guys, like, talked for a bit, you met him for one time, one date, like, how can you possibly care about that? broken, that I'm going to get sympathy, I'm going to get comforted. So that's why it makes me believe that this person is like trying to create a situation where now I need this again because something's happening to me and I

want to exclude it and whatever. And in a weird way, that almost feels like she has the feelings for him.

I was going to say, is this giving a little Summer I Turned Pretty?

Never seen it, but yes. Oofof I did see a few episodes. I feel like you'd be really into it. I think my wife watched it. Is that um Conrad, Jeremiah? Yes I watched some of that. What team are you on? Oh I'm not that in that I have a say. We're still trying to figure out team Edward or team Belly. Belly, yeah. What do you mean Team Edward or Team Jacob? We're still trying to figure out that team, where we fall on there. Edward. Oh, okay. So you're just making the decision

for us? Well, the other one's a wolf and he weirdly imprints on her daughter. I feel like there's only one side to pick.

Okay. Get him.

First of all, don't get me. Second of all, you heard all that beautiful like therapy talk he he I mean everything I wanted to say he just said it in a very nicer way.

I'm what?

You sound healed like I really have I've been watching some stand-up specials and I this person really talks about mental health Taylor Tomlinson and I realized I'm like I really need to go back to therapy because she seems to be like very self-aware and healed and I'm you, you're giving healed as well. Oh, I appreciate that.

I have been in therapy. I also go out of my way to, you know, like read books and stuff to try and understand.

You read books?

Loves books.

I love books. Loves books.

What's your favorite book?

Oof, I have no idea. I had an answer to this. I don't know if it's still my answer, but like during COVID, I read a book called The Psychopath Test by, I believe his name is John Ronson, but I read a couple of his books.

That sounds really interesting.

He passed the test.

You're not a psychopath?

No, but they, you know, it's a cool book, but he has a couple of books and I think they're all like pretty interesting, but that was like my answer for a bit. I don't know if it's still, you know. You gotta read another book. I have been reading books. I just haven't like taken inventory

of which one is my favorite or something.

Do you have a Goodreads account?

I do, but I don't really like use it.

I feel like people would be really into that.

If I had a Goodreads account? Oh, maybe.

Definitely.

Yeah, they'd be really into it.

They go wild for his feet. I'm sure if they could see what his brain looked like,

they would love that.

Are you on that feet website?

I'm against my will, yeah. Don't Google it.

Oh, not Foot Finder or whatever. The Wiki Feet.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He is like a five-star recipient on this foot website.

Yeah.

You do have five stars, gorgeous feet.

So yeah, if they could see what you're reading,

they'd be like, literally from-

Oh my God, you really put your feet out there for free a lot.

Well, this was a thing that I did in the past before I knew this existed, and now I'm a little bit more, you know, on top of this.

He's guarded, he's guarded now. I didn't know that there was an entire empire out there. Do you also normally just wear no shoes and socks?

Look at this closeup of your foot they put on.

Oh, that's an ugly one. That was on the show. I put my foot up on the desk. I am proud of the hip mobility to be able to get it out there. Yeah, if anything, that shows a real good range of motion.

I just wanted people to know that at one point in my life I was an athlete so I am able to do that. So that's all I wanted to do.

They have a lot of feet pics of you.

Stop looking? Yeah, this seems like you're objectifying him. Yeah, you're like looking at my implant. This is getting... Can I touch it?

Oh my god.

This'll get cut.

No, no it won't. This'll love. It's gonna get cut. No! No, it won't. No, you have a really good score. That's that's great.

Thank you.

That's awesome.

You should start monetizing it, honestly.

I would. I'm cool with not monetizing it as long as someone sends me like a plaque.

What do you want the plaque to say? Great feet?

Great feet.

Five star?

Like I just wanted to be like a glass foot.

Like a glass foot and be like whatever. Why don't you take a mold of your foot?

Ooh, sell that.

I mean, I can't give myself the, like I sell a mold.

Well, how do you think they're gonna get you, like if they want, you know what I mean?

Oh, that's fair. Well, I thought there would just be like a standard foot that they would send.

I tried to provide him with foolproof business ideas. I do feel like if you made a mold of your foot and sold it on our store. Our store?

A foot paperweight.

A paperweight. Or no, like a silicone mold.

Imagine it right there on the stack of the books. That'd be really great.

And you could put like, here we go. Now you got me going.

He's cooking.

I'm cooking right now.

I think you right now.

I think you need to. It'd be a foot mold, but the toes would be like lollipop candy.

So like-

Oh, that's really, you're giving the fetish people what they want.

What do you think people are going to do with them? You got to lean in. People are going to be doing that. But then eventually the buy a new one. Supply and demand. Can I say, I just want to say candidly that the idea that he just gave, he's done this like a billion times. That honestly is probably like the best one. That's how bad the rest

of them are.

And it happened here. Yeah.

Well, listen, magic happens.

I will, you know, I'd support. Magic happens. I'll gift it to Spotify. Paperweight? Yeah, paperweight right there. Okay. So top comment on this, um, this one. Ha ha ha ha ha. What the actual fuck? You're the asshole. Yeah. He's being nice to you and trying to make you feel included in the family and you think that's flirting. He has a date and kisses another girl and you think that is him trying to make you jealous? You had one date with him eight years ago and are still thinking about how much it wasn't

a match. This is a level of delusion not often seen. This is some next level shit. You're the

asshole and delusional. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, asshole is a... I don't know if it's the term I would use, but… I mean, it's not harsh. I would use it if I'm the brother-in-law. I'd be like, now you're being an asshole to me, making me look like something.

Why are you doing that?

Do you think the husband is just like, oh no, what have I gotten myself into now? If I was the husband, I'd be like, dude… This is weird. Have it out for him like you have an attraction to him and that's why you're doing this like nagging absolutely. Yeah, especially

Given the fact that like it's so bad in her head. She doesn't want to invite his brother To his wedding. It's not just her wedding. It's their wedding He's also there a possible best man even I would say he probably is the best man. So It's crazy.

That's insane.

That is crazy.

It's crazy. This next one is also a bit crazy.

A bit doozy.

I think so.

Okay.

Excited to see what you guys think. This feels really wrong.

Okay.

It's coming from our very own Too Hot To Take subreddit. Three years old. It's titled, My, male 27, Wife, female 28, showed her friends our sex tapes. My wife and I have been together for seven years, married for two. We have a healthy and active sex life. One thing we like to do is just record ourselves. Nothing fancy, just our phones in the moment. We have a shared iCloud server that we send it to.

That way we can watch it on our phones and other devices without it being saved on our phones. We sometimes like watching them together, or we both travel somewhat frequently for work and watch them then. My wife has a very active group of friends that she spends a lot of time just hanging out with, chatting, and drinking wine, a typical girls night in. They usually meet at our house, so I usually just go downstairs to play games, or sometimes I go out with my friends.

They tend to get loud when they get drunk, and whenever I don't have something playing in my headphones, I can hear them. A common topic is their sex lives. It made me feel weird at first to hear my wife and her friends talk about our sex life, but I remembered that I used to talk about my sex life with my friends when I was younger. However, the other night, I heard whooping and cheering.

Like it's an Avengers movie. Whooping.

So I crept up the stairs to see the commotion. My wife was playing some of our sex tapes on the TV for all to see. I went back downstairs and stayed down there until they were ready for me to drive them home. Usually, there's some satirical cheers and such from her friends as I walk up the stairs and grab the keys. This time, a couple of them did wolf whistles.

They've never done that before, and one even said, quote, way to go, stud. My wife shushed them and decided to come along when I dropped them off. There was a lot of drunk giggling in the car ride. After I got home, I wanted to talk to my wife about what I saw, but I thought she was too drunk to have a serious conversation with her then. We went to bed, and she tried to engage, but I told her I was too tired. The next afternoon, when she was sober and

less hungover, I asked her why she showed our videos to her friends. She got a deer in headlights look on her face. She then said they were just having a good time and she told them about our collection and they started to beg to see them, so she obliged. I told her those were private videos, and she said, we never said we couldn't show them to others. And it's not like she sent them the files.

I think she could tell I didn't like that answer, and she said that she'll make it up to me and then tried to engage again. I backed up and said I was going for a drive. I texted her that I was hanging out with some buddies for the day. When I got home last night, I set up camp on the couch and have been sleeping there the past couple of nights. I don't think this is a call for divorce

or anything. I'm just upset that she violated my trust like that even though we never had an agreement. I thought it was just implied. I'm also upset since she didn't apologize until I started sleeping on the couch and that she originally tried to engage instead of apologizing when we first talked.

Well, how do you, how do you, I need a machete to get through the weeds of that one. I mean this feels pretty clear cut. I mean that is wrong on so many levels.

It's so violating.

Is this from an am I the asshole thread?

No, this is from the Too Hot Take subreddit. So I'm just kind of like writing in.

Is this someone who like listens to the show?

There's a chance.

What the hell are you thinking?

Look down the barrel of the gun right now

and let them know.

Yeah, like what are you thinking? I think that's, yeah, that's wild. I am also like, you're married to someone, you seemingly trust them, whatever. I don't think you should be able to show people that. Or also, I don't know, man. And I don't think this person, they're trying to find a middle ground

and be like, well, I used to talk about my sex life when I was younger. Yeah, dude,'re 18 years old, it's a big difference.

Well, and I was like, I went to go look at ages again. I'm like, is she a lot younger? And maybe that's why there was that comment.

Two years, right?

She's 28, he's 27.

Yeah.

Way too old to be doing this.

I know.

The, like, what are you doing? But also the hooting and hollering that they're doing, like they're watching the Super Bowl and they're just like, yeah, way to go, stud. I would never be able to see those people ever again. I'm not saying that this is more appropriate, but a part that would bother me also

is that you don't even respect me enough to keep this a secret. Like you're doing it in my house and I'm there. Like it's not like you're like showing your best friend and like one of them being like, uh, and just like that I would find strange also. But at least like keep it a secret from me.

But now you're kind of like outing me. Your friends are saying it to me. Like I definitely should not know that they know, if anything. You know, like, that to me is, like, another level of disrespect, as well as, like, this is, like, a traumatic thing for this guy. Now I come upstairs, all your friends are watching me naked?

What?

It's super weird. If roles, like, were reversed, like, flip genders, like, I feel like people would, like, have an easier time understanding this. Would you like it if your husband showed all of his guy friends a video of you?

No, yeah.

Right, like that would be insanely violent.

Like, come on.

Yeah, that would be fucking.

I agree, I wouldn't even want my, I don't want my friends to see me in action. That's weird.

Yeah, very strange.

That's weird, and then was, like they were making a joke out of it to the point like, like if they had almost, because like they didn't know at the time that he had heard or saw, so like they're being like coy, like trying to be like funny, like way to go stud, like,

ah, it's kind of like rubbing dirt in the wound, you know what I mean?

Like, yeah, that's not, that's not nice. to leave your partner out to dry in the sense of, you're on the outside of this. We all know this happened. You don't know what happened. I'm gonna let them make those comments that are maybe gonna confuse you if you have no idea what's going on.

And you're like, cool with that. Like, that's not doing...

Like, there's so many layers to this that are, like, wrong.

I know. I think, too, like, the fact she initially was deer in headlights, trying to come up with a plausible excuse, because I don't think she even put it in her head, like, oh, he's gonna hear this.

He's gonna find out.

The part that is also kind of weird is the then trying to use sex as a, I'll make it up to you. Again, I did say earlier that men are simple and most likely dumb creatures, but to be like, this person's upset. I'm just going to like throw my body at it and like everything will blow over and it'll be okay. Like that's a level of disrespect too. Like you're not valuing, you're not valuing like the emotional, you

know, damage that you did. And you're just thinking that like the physicality of our relationship will completely fix that issue that I just caused. Like that's a little crazy.

It's not very thoughtful. And it's also like you're undermining like my entire existence by thinking like,

Yeah.

You can't fuck your way out of this one, lady.

Sorry.

I'm gonna make it up to you. It's like, no. I don't want that. Like that's what got us here. I was just gonna say, yeah. I did it first, so. That is, yeah, I mean, I know that this wasn't from an Am I the Asshole thread, but I'll say it again. Kind of an asshole, ma. Oh, she's an asshole. I think all the... Who submitted this? The female partner or the... The guy.

The guy.

I think also the... You're not thinking of your husband when you're like, I'm just gonna make this executive decision. You're not thinking of your husband when you're letting your friends make the jokes or do whatever. You're not thinking of your husband by doing this in the house that he's in currently. And you're also not thinking of your husband when you're like, I'll just fix this with sex. Like, cause then it's like, like I said,

it's like you're undermining his existence and being like, well, this is not like actually a person I could just, you know, he'll forget about it if I just get naked. It's like you have a crazy understanding of what a relationship is, you know?

So. It's hard to make jokes about this. You would, this is, I feel like you're not gonna. I feel so good over there. This is not gonna last. Like, there's no way that lasts.

Like, I do think- How do you come back?

Yeah, I know. How do you come back

from that realization? Because, like, there is a sense of just like, oh, like, you see these people again, which I presume this person is gonna be that internal like, oh, like, they've seen me in this very intimate situation. So, like, how do you even allow that relationship to go anywhere outside of just like high and bi?

It would be really hard to get that trust back.

Yeah. When you said, dear, in the headlights also, I thought this was gonna turn into, and not saying this is an excuse, but I thought this was gonna turn into, she was like, what? Like blacked out and didn't know. And I can, I think that a part of me

could possibly get past that if it was like a mistake and you're realizing how fucked up that is. But if it's not that, and you're also not apologizing, like that's the part that I think results in divorce for me. It's like I'm telling you that I feel violated and you just like don't agree?

Like you don't get to not agree.

No, like these are my feelings, they're valid, and you're not even acknowledging them, you're just trying to fuck me again.

Yeah, and it's like that,

I'm not gonna be able to get past. You need to ask her if she thought it would be okay if you showed the sex tapes to your drunk friends. She violated your trust in the worst way. I'm not saying break up with her, but I damn sure wouldn't record any more videos.

Yeah, I would do a sweep of that room like you're in the CIA. Make sure that there's no fucking listening or video devices anywhere. Also, the cloud?

I would delete them. I think it's time to delete them. Like you clearly can't handle this privilege of having these, so bye bye.

Should also do like the classic like burn barrel behind the apartment, just like throw it in and be like so dramatic about it. Doing this on the cloud too, you're playing with fire.

The cloud gets hacked.

Like I feel like there's been a lot of celebrities that have been held hostage over their nudes.

Absolutely.

It's so horrible. Yeah. Bye-bye, cloud. Delete. Delete, delete. Empty trash bin. Whatever you gotta do.

She's got some stuff going on.

She has a weird relationship with her sexuality, I would say.

Or just, like, needing approval from her friends. More of an insecurity thing.

Yeah. Like, well, I guess I don't get the logic. Well, all these things are around sex. Like, she's using it as a way to, like, get her way, and then she's using it to get validation from these people.

Like, she's got problems.

I also don't get the logic of, like, what are you showing? Like, what is in there that you are showing? Like, how did the conversation get to a point where it was're like, no way. And it's like, let me show you that we do this. Yeah. I mean, like, I've talked about a position in the past, like on this podcast.

And I drew like stick figures to like explain it. So I could imagine them having a conversation and like getting there. But to then like show them the videos… That's too far.

I also… Yeah. I also think think that it's totally fine for... I mean it really depends on the intention. I do think that people talking about their sexual experiences with their partners, especially when you're married, is maybe a little taboo, but if it's like your best friends and you need someone to confide in, so the intention is like you're trying to get information, you're trying to whatever., you're trying to whatever.

If you're just trying to like flex, and it's just something you talk about, I think that's a little weird. Like I think that's strange to do. But if you're gonna do that, I shouldn't know, dude. I don't wanna know if your friend knows things about me.

A different girl's house, like during another he's downstairs, because it's in your home. Do you think there was any part of her that like... Wanted him?

Wanted him to find out to see like how far she can push the boundaries of it?

I don't know. Like what was she hoping? Was she hoping it like then turned into him coming upstairs and something happening? Like...

I think it was just a lack of thought.

Like it's just I'm thinking about me in this moment. I'm not thinking about the guys, you know, is there an update no update How long ago was this posted three years?

They're done. Maybe Opie could be out there listening right now. We could get an update after this episode

We don't know careful asking that because they might just like send an update with like an image file and you're just like, no, nevermind. That would be weird.

I don't get a lot of those. You guys must get some interesting...

No, I don't get them, honestly.

No.

Am I right?

Not that I'm aware of. No, I just want an update from this username. It's gotta come from this username too. Like I can't, I feel like I wouldn't believe it if it didn't come from this account. Because then you're like, you just made a fake account.

Yeah.

To mess with us. But yeah, well.

What was the username again?

Throwaway tapes.

Well, I think...

It sounds like they started an LLC. It sounds like they were on track to go a certain route with this story.

Well, that's kind of how Reddit, like, if you don't want something tied to your main account You're supposed to create a throwaway account. Like this is it's um

Reddit etiquette. Okay, really good. Come on. It's right there. It's right there. Yeah, you're quicker than me. I don't know

Okay, I moved on to this next one coming from our Relationship advice nice, my 32 female fiancé, 37 male, is a homicide detective. And I'm starting to feel like he treats me more like a suspect than a partner.

Before this gets bad and like we have to say that this is not good, this is funny. Like before it gets like scary, just being like, uh, do me a favor. Let me know where you were Saturday, 3 p.m. 1501.

What's your alibi? Yeah. My fiance and I have been together for almost four years. He's a homicide detective. My friends immediately started side eyeing me. They said, don't date a cop. It's not worth it. They're all bad, etc. None of them have ever actually dated a cop, so I found their opinions more annoying than anything else. I just felt like they were basing their judgment off of a stereotype. My mom said similar things, but she dated a cop who

was a former military guy with PTSD like 49 years ago and based everything off of that. Lately though, a few things have started to bother me. I don't know if it's just that these incidents seem to be more frequent or if I was just willfully blind to it before. I'm just bothered by these things now.

He records our arguments. I've known about that for a while. He told me it was, quote, to make sure we remember things correctly and communicate better. And I believed him at first. I didn't like it, and I thought it was petty and stupid. I asked him if he saved the recordings, and he said he deletes

them once the argument was resolved. I have since found a folder on his computer labeled with dates and times and their recordings of arguments or other conversations we've had going back over a year. He notices tiny changes in my behavior and asks questions in a way that feels more like an interrogation than concern.

I also recently discovered he's done background checks on some of my friends and coworkers. Sometimes his phone buzzes and he steps out for hours without explanation, but he just says he's handling work stuff whenever I ask. He makes cryptic comments like,

quote, you know I only trust what I can verify, or quote, I like to know everything that might matter when it comes to things just between us even, not strictly talking about work. And then he laughs it off, but the words stick. It's hard to tell when he's joking and when he's serious. I love him, but it's sometimes I feel like

he's treating me like I'm some sort of suspect. He doesn't seem to trust anyone, including me. Every little disagreement feels like it could be evidence. Recently he's made some comments related to having kids, about having a tracker on them at all times. He said he'll never let his kids spend the night at somebody else's house and that he'll do background checks on every parent of our kids' friends and teachers.

I feel like those sort of comments are becoming more frequent and it's just escalating. How do I handle this with him? How do I discuss this in a way that won't jump into a dumb argument that he inevitably records for no good reason? I honestly don't know how to bring this up to him. I've considered telling him he needs therapy because he cannot continue to live life so

suspicious and paranoid about everything and everyone. I'm pretty sure he'll refuse that.

Boy, what was that book you said that was your favorite book? The Psychopaths. Yeah, this person sounds like they're more of the, you know, like the calls coming from inside the house type of thing.

He's a homicide detective, but it sounds like he might have a little couple screws loose.

Is he giving Dexter?

No, Dexter, don't talk bad about Dexter. You know, he has morals. He's got a code. He's got a code. No, this this definitely sounds like there are parts of it that honestly, like when it gets into the whole like, I'm going to track my kids, they're not going

to anyone's house. Like as a parent, like I have said things like that and like just in today's society, like there are forms of like tracking and apps for that stuff. So like that part of it doesn't feel...

I'm kind of with it.

Yeah, like that doesn't feel wrong.

I know sleepovers, I'm also kind of with.

Oh my God, yeah. I sleep, or kids sleeping at my house that are not my kids, I gotta be responsible for other kids, you know? But like that part of it doesn't sound that ridiculous, but like the whole like recording. Background checks on friends and coworkers though,

honestly, if I was a cop, I kinda think I would do that. Really? That's wild. You don't think so?

No. It just feels like such an invasion. Like, background check, you get everything from like their debt. Like, you get a lot of stuff.

But there are certain things like that. Like, they're looking like, like you're going to tell me if your partner has a co-worker and they're like, you know what? They're actually a little strange. Well, we don't have that context though. I know, but I'm saying though, like this is a guy that is clearly very,

like because of his line of work, very paranoid. I'm not justifying it, but in that regard, I don't think that's the issue, the background checks. I think the recording of the arguments, lying about keeping them afterward, like that sounds a little strange because I can almost imagine this person in that argument is being

very aggressive and like, I'm right, you're wrong. And it's like, why are you watching that back? Like, that's weird. That's a weird power thing for me.

It would really piss me off if I was like having a fight with my partner too, and he's like, actually, no, no, no, let's roll the tape. And he like backs it up and it's like, I didn't say you were a bitch, I said you were acting like a bitch. Like, you know, it's like schematics, but it's like, I'm gonna prove to you exactly what I said, and it's like, but this is how I took it anyways.

I'm like kind of reading this in a different way. Like, you guys use the word suspicious and paranoid. Like, I don't really see it as that. I see it as like narcissistic because if you are paranoid or suspicious, then these things, you can get answers for these things. Someone who is paranoid is constantly having

a conversation with you about, you know,

what do we gotta do about it, blah, blah, blah.

You just doing things against people's will, behind their back, and saying it's for the greater good and the thing that we're supposed to do is a narcissistic thing to do. And I don't care that you're a homicide detective or whatever, like if you know what's best or whatever,

you're violating me by not including in me on these decisions and treating me like a child and think that like, why am I not part of the conversation where if you want to do a background check on someone that I know or someone that I'm spending time with, we should at least have a precursor conversation

as to why you're suspicious. But if that's just how you're going to treat my relationships, that's a little crazy, to be like, I can't have friends now unless you approve, unless they meet the criteria that you decide. Like, you're not the end all, be all in my life,

and you trying to take away my autonomy, and before the kids are born, you're like, we're gonna put trackers on them, we're gonna whatever, like.

Yeah.

And I get it, like the sleepover thing, like I get, you know, being like worried about that sort of thing.

Yeah.

But even those things are like decisions you make as a unit. It's not you making this. You know, so this dude to me is just, you know, he needs to be the one in control. Doesn't really respect this woman clearly, in my opinion, because it's like, I'm just going to do whatever the fuck I want, and I'm going to record whatever, and we're going to go back to it. Also, thought it was interesting when you were like,

he deletes them once they're resolved.

So you decide when they're resolved.

Yeah, exactly, yeah. Good then you get rid of them, but he's also lying because he's not deleting all of them if he's got a folder

So if he has any feels I can use it like then like then he can use it Oh, you know what? Let me hold on to that one So he's almost banking on it coming back. I bet he deletes the ones that he comes out looking right

Like if he looks wrong Exactly the ones where he's probably exactly it's a power dynamic. Why are you watching those back? The ones where he is like controlling it, I was right. He's keeping those to reference those, but the ones where he, and I'm not saying that this person is like that stubborn. I can almost imagine that that's what is going on, but like if they are like retroactively proven wrong or something like that, he'll delete those. You know, this is like, not a joke here, concerning behavior.

Yeah.

Like this is scarily concerning.

Yeah.

And I don't wanna do like the blanket, like don't date cops because I'm sure.

No.

Like we know people that are cops that, to my knowledge, don't do this, but like there's some other stuff there. Yeah. this, but like, there's some other stuff there. I think that's what we're noticing with all these stories. There's other stuff there, layers, like an onion. And that's why we're here, to peel back each layer.

That's exactly why I called you in. I need a backup.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This does sound slightly psychopathic too.

Yeah, top comment, this is how you wanna live the rest of your life, question mark. Yeah. Like, that's it. Like, literally. There's another comment that says, so he's controlling and suspicious,

which are precursors for coercive control and abuse. And OP responds and says, I wouldn't say he's controlling,

but his actions are… He's definitely controlling.

He's giving controlling.

It's not like a direct control.

He's definitely controlling. He's giving controlling. It's not like a direct control.

He's giving control.

It's control, yeah.

He's certainly giving controlling.

He's giving to everyone. It's funny, like, you know how some people, when people are in abusive relationships, a lot of people are like, why don't you just leave? It's very obvious or whatever.

Because of stuff like this, it's so direct and it sounds like controlling people tell you things you can't wear, when you can go out and these, it doesn't only exist in that way. So this is more of a subtle way, even though it doesn't really come across as subtle to us, but it's more of a subtle way, I guess, when you're in that relationship

to realize I am being controlled. Like this guy is saying that his word and his decisions are always right and the standard. And if I'm not meeting those, then because he's a cop or because he's a homicide detective or whatever, then he knows everything.

And that's just not what it is, especially in a relationship. It's more of like a collaborative effort. And if you're going to violate that part of it, then you don't have a relationship. Like I am your child then in your eyes.

And you're making every decision for me. Like, it's not really a relationship. No. No.

You see what I say? He's been to therapy.

I know. I was like, in my head, I was like, holy shit. This is so just in tune and healed. And like, you're just picking up such subtleties.

He's giving healed.

It's so good. I mean, I think you're on it too when you say like, it's not always easy to identify control because I think the examples you gave, like you're not wearing that. Everyone would be like, you're not going to tell me what to do. But this is control in another font and a lot of people pick up on it. But OP, not picking up on it. Like, someone goes, holy shit, why would you want to stay with this unhinged person?

And OP responds, unhinged? I mean, maybe if he worked in a completely different kind of work. I kind of feel like I understand where most of it comes from, though, at least.

That's not really an excuse, though.

Yeah, seems like she's doing the work to defend him when...

Continuously defending him.

She's been successfully gaslit into thinking... Like, if someone is a homicide detective and you just say, like, okay, so whatever you say about this thing is what it is, and all your suspicions and all your whatever, I have to just submit to that because you're a homicide detective. No matter what, for anybody out there in a relationship or even not in a relationship,

your gut and your intuition still counts for something. Of course. Especially in a relationship, because it's like, we're in a thing together. So you can have your suspicions and those can be based in like,

your experience and your job, but that doesn't mean that my intuition counts for nothing. And she's relinquishing that completely because it's like, well, he's a cop. I know where it's coming from. We can know where it's coming from.

That doesn't mean that that's how it should be.

I know.

And she just keeps going to bat for him again and again, almost against her gut. And it's like, you're the one that said- You see this a lot on TikTok too. Women will post videos of their husband being weird and doing some things.

Like, no, but he's actually, he's the blah blah blah. It's like- TikTok goes both ways with these things where sometimes a woman will post a very, in my opinion, a non-issue. Just a funny thing and the comments will be like, you need to leave him, he doesn't care about you. This is a sign of a bigger thing. You're going nuts now. And it's one video, but there are very clear videos

where a guy has done something and it's like, you know, like I was giving birth and he was playing video games and then he fell asleep and I was trying to, you know, whatever. And like, you know, no empathy, no whatever, and a woman is displaying that about her husband, you can't really fault the comments for being

like, hey, I realize this is one video, so we don't have all the context, but like, these are bad.

Yeah.

And you wouldn't, I also don't understand why you would post that anyway.

Like, did you see the pumpkin patch one?

No.

This lady was like-

Pumpkin. I love pumpkins.

I know it was like such a wholesome activity to go with it for your kids and I'm like forgetting the exact video but she was just like I don't understand why he just like can't go to the pumpkin patch and be happy one day and it's literally her the kids in the car and he like literally just starts screaming like I don't want to go to the fucking pumpkin patch. She posted it and it's

like yeah what those are people that are that are that are looking for help but don't want to like outwardly admit that they're looking for help in that regard that's what I think at least like because the comments will be you know like listen you need to you need to and then like they're like trying to defend it but like it's it's kind of almost a cry for help from my perspective but yeah or it's just like

in their gut they think oh yeah this isn't right and they post it like trying to like have people come forward and like reassure them like oh yeah I know that's fucked up but then why defend them in the comments that's the

defending in the comments is crazy to me, because it's like, what did you expect? I think that, I mean, personally, I believe that people who post stuff like that, or some of them rather, are not realizing what the end result is actually going to be. Like, I think in the moment, a lot of people are very quick to post about their personal life and their relationship, especially when there's kids involved, and, you know, the dynamic there. And I think immediately it's like, I want pity,

I wanna be validated in that I think this is a little crazy. But then you don't want it to go too far where people are gonna be like, hey, this is actually horrible. I don't want you to put up a mirror and show me what my life is,

I just want you to tell me that I'm validated in being upset about this. But then once it becomes like, no, there's bigger issues at play here.

It's like, all right.

No, no, that's too much.

Well, I have a handle on it.

Well, because I think people try to do the whole like, this is relatable, this will be funny. And then people are just like, whoa, like this is something bigger. to get defensive about all that. Yeah. I also think a good rule of thumb for people out there that are in relationships and married with kids and stuff, the notion of women are emotional and men don't really give a shit about activities like the pumpkin patch and whatever is corny.

Like that to me is so corny and I realize that it exists in the world, but like to me, like, I would not want to, like, associate with someone who's like, oh, my f- my f- you know how wives are, they're fucking, they're all bitches. And you're like, this is corny to me. So posting that online and like, perpetuating that, even as a joke, because also a lot of that content is fucking fake. So like perpetuating that to me is like ultra corny.

I was like, oh, it's the guy, he doesn't care. And the woman, oh, she cares so much about the little things and I'm the guy who doesn't do the dishes.

Like to me, that's just corny shit.

It's like not accurate. My husband is way, way more thoughtful and like he's way better than me about that. Yeah. Like it's not, it's super, it's so stupid. The Costco video really pissed me off.

Which one was that? Which one was the Costco video?

This dude going around asking all these men, how much fun do you have at Costco with your wife? And all these guys were like, negative 10. Yeah, yeah.

One.

So that's like corny. Zero. It's so stupid. When we were in actually last year when we were, well two years ago, we were in LA. Do you remember this story? The guy that came up to me? Oh yeah. We were walking down the street in LA and some guy comes up to me and he goes, hey,

I recognize you. Do you want to, I do this show, I like interview people on the street. Do you want to do it? And I was like, well, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. It'll be super quick. It will take five minutes of your time. And I'm like, all right, what are you going to ask? I'm scared. And the first question he goes, well, I'm going to ask, you know,

what do you think is a better investment, crypto or gold? And I was like, dude, I don't respect men? And I was like, get the fuck out of here. I was like, dude, get out of here because there is like, there's a sect of the internet now that is like gravitating toward that side where it's just like these hyper masculine,

you know, guys that are just like, yeah, you know what, absolutely. So when shit like that, you know, they post shit like that, it has the effect of like reeling people into that side of the argument. And like, it is corny.

I think like that's the best way to describe it is like, it's just corny and stupid and like...

Very immature. I haven't heard the word corny in a while. And I really like it.

Dude, growing up in New York, if you were called a herb or a corny, it was like the worst things because it's such an under- you never heard that one? No. Like, like someone that does something that's just like, like it's like overly corny is like you're a herb. Like you're not a real person, you're doing something just for reactions or like just to get attention on you.

To me, like the Costco video, for instance, you're walking around and this is why I find it so corny is because if someone comes up to you at Costco and they have a camera and they're asking you how much fun do you have with your wife at Costco, you have a decision to make

because you know what he's asking.

It's a loaded question, so you know what he's looking for. Yeah, exactly. And to me, you're corny if you're not gonna be yourself. Like, if you're just gonna say the thing that is going to satisfy the other incels that are watching this, like, that's corny. Like, why is that the crowd that you want to impress?

And then, the other end of it is they've also taken like the people that are just like, no, I love hanging out with my wife. I have so much fun.

And there's like simp, loser.

And it's like, completely edited out. Yeah, like what are you like?

I know.

It's so, it is, I think that's the best way to describe it. It's corny, it's stupid, and it is the worst parts of the internet.

Well, it's like, who are you saying it for? Because it doesn't make your wife feel good, someone you seemingly care about enough to spend the rest of your life with her, or them, or whatever. But who are you doing it for? Are you doing it for the guys in the video

that are watching?

You're doing it, and that's what it is. Because you think that there's this like Underlying culture of just like boys have to hate their wives, you know

like

And it's like you're not doing this for any reason Other than just like trying to be cool to people that like don't give a fuck about you

They wouldn't know if you died tomorrow. Exactly. So like Be cool in your own home. I know I'm with you. OP kind of just defends him in the comments. A lot of people are like, you want to deal with this the rest of your life. He's controlling, blah, blah, blah, blah. OP does share that she basically had to give him an ultimatum regarding their relationship and getting engaged. So she kind of like gave him an ultimatum to propose. And so she says, so he didn't seem desperate to ensnare me.

First of all, if she-

Ensnare is bananas.

I've been watching a lot.

Harry Potter?

Like what? First, ensnare, like she's like wild game. Yeah. Like a rabbit running through the forest. I think, I mean, if she had to give an ultimatum, I feel like if you have to give someone an ultimatum,

it's already over. Like you're basically just like clinging to life at that time. So… I think there's a difference between like a conversation or like a line and like are we on the same timeline? Like what are we thinking versus a true like if you don't propose to me today, we're done. And I think some people even look at the conversation and just like kind of having boundaries and like timeline being on the same page. they look at that as an ultimatum even. And it's like, I think that like, you gotta clear up what an ultimatum really is.

When it comes to that, I think an ultimatum is only like a short-term thing. Because like you said, as the woman traditionally you are being proposed to, so speak from the perspective of women, Doc. You, what I'm saying is like, as the woman, you have an expectation of like, this person is going to propose to me. So I'm kind of waiting around for that. However, you have your own timeline.

So there is this ultimatum, if we're being dramatic of like, Hey, you know, if we've been dating for this many years, if we don't get engaged within the next year and a half or something, then I'm gonna move on with my life because it feels like this isn't gonna go anywhere. Like that to me doesn't feel like an actual ultimatum. It's more of like, I have to stick up for myself here. But if it's like, you know, if we don't get engaged by Q1,

in the next, you know, then it's like, all right, I gotta rush and do all the things. Because then if you're asking, then it's like, you're gonna have on the back end, you're just gonna have the opinion of like, the only reason it's happening now is because I gave them this pressure. And like, if that's okay and you wanna live with that,

that's your thing, but.

I know, what is that, a sympathy ring or what's that term?

Well, I think people like that are not really interested of it all anyway. It's more of just like for show. Like I need you to propose to me so that I don't look crazy now. Like people are going to expect me to be proposed and now people can be like, you've been with him for this long, you don't have a ring? Like what's the deal with that? I just don't have to answer for that and I don't have to deal with the actual like emotional reason why I'm still with you. So just give me the ring this one. Oh boy. I mean, we've been getting updates the whole time. How much worse can it get?

It can get worse, right?

He killed her.

Don't do that.

I think a good starting point would be for me to admit that I do believe my fiance is a good man. He's not cruel, he's not aggressive or violent, and he believes with all of his heart that he's right most of the time. Of course, I realize a lot of people were pretty negative in their comments towards me in response to my original post, and a part of me wants to thank you all for your concern.

But another part of me wonders if part of this negative response is simply because of the nature of his job. After sitting on all of this for a few days, I decided I couldn't put off this conversation anymore. I told him that we have to talk talk and this isn't about winning an argument I began with the recordings. I told him I knew he had been stockpiling

Arguments with our friends going all the way back a year ago and how it makes me feel violated and threatened He did not deny this He explained to me why he holds them in case things ever get twisted, and for protecting himself. To hear my fiancé speak of our relationship in a way that implies he considers our life a potential lawsuit threatened me. When I mentioned this style of questioning me and observing small shifts in my behavior,

he explained that this is simply how his brain works, and that given all he's observed in his work, he simply can't shut it off. He explained to me that pointing out details doesn't mean that he believes I'm doing anything incorrect. It's simply that he likes to verify rather than assume. He told me most detectives' girlfriends simply get used to it, leaving me to wonder if this is a common fact or simply a defense people make when they're in fact engaging in poor

behavior. The background checks on my friends and colleagues escalated into a bigger problem. He confessed to doing them and stated, definitely he would do the same on people in relation to our future kids.

He did not think it was an invasion of privacy, but rather just being informed. The talk of children was most sobering. He doubled down on trackers, no sleepovers, and careful screening of every adult in their life. When I called this controlling, he said, healthy doesn't matter if they're safe.

That phrase stuck in my head since. I asked him if he trusted me. He paused for a very long time before answering me. He finally said that he trusts me as much as he trusts anyone else. I think he did not realize how unnerving that answer was. I just want to know where his limits are.

I asked him what would happen if we broke up. He said he would never do anything illegal, but that he thinks a man must take care of himself all the time. What's that supposed to even mean? I've asked for some space and I'm currently staying with family. He didn't appear angry and I really thought he would get an attitude about it and accuse me of being dramatic. He acted very coldly and matter of fact about it. While I am not putting an end to our engagement

just yet, I'm definitely considering everything. As much as I love him and think he genuinely wants to do good in our relationship, I don't want a life where I am observed, recorded, and assessed rather than being in a relationship where I have someone's support.

I think that this is, uh...

Oof.

I think that this happens a lot in relationships, too, that this guy clearly doesn't respect her. Like, it's just a lack of respect. Like, if you... These are, like, not little things. These are big things. You know, this is the way that we're gonna raise our children. This is the way that our relationship is going. And you're not even really understanding me from an emotional standpoint.

You're just looking at everything very, very like black and white and linear. And just kind of like, yeah, I understand. And, you know, like there's not really even an understanding. It's yes, I did that. I think that this is the right course of action and whatever. But

that's just not what a relationship in life looks like. It's not a lawsuit. It isn't black

and white. No. It is emotional. I know. And I would be really offended if my husband, even boyfriend at the time, engaged partner, whatever, like any level, if he looked at me and said, yeah, I trust you about the same level as everyone else. Don't you trust me more?

Because he doesn't respect her.

I also think that this person clearly thinks that they are the center of the universe. And like, they have an issue relinquishing, you know, control to any capacity. So it's like, they are like in the state of like, I'm gonna control it all.

I'm going to do it all. They clearly have a warped mentality of like what masculinity is. Like a man should always take care of himself first. And it's like-

Again, what does that mean?

Yeah, I mean, there's certain people, like you come across people in your life that you're like, no matter what you do, you can't do anything to change them. as a seat, there will be someone that will, you know, be more open to this person's lifestyle. It just sounds like this Reddit OP got the term.

There you go.

It's just not, it's just not that person. And you're clearly for lack of better terms, excuse the pun, you're dodging a bullet here because if the control, if you think that at any point, if and when you were to have a family and children and like incorporate that aspect of life into your relationship, if you think that like they're going to then relinquish control, you are severely mistaken. You know, I don't, I know you don't have, I don't know if you, this person has friends

or family in their life that has children, but like's a part of life when you need to be a team, you need to be a unit, you need to be making decisions. And also, I can't understand the mentality of just like, I have it all figured out, but they have things figured out about a part of life that they have no experience with. So unfortunately for OP, it is only going to get worse

if they continue life because there are so many aspects of life that they haven't even, challenges they haven't hurdled yet or even approached that it doesn't seem like everything they've learned about this person that they're going to be able to do it as a unit. He's, he is going to try to do it himself and then fall back on the whole like, well, it's because I know best.

It's someone who's probably like violently insecure, can't relinquish control, and this person is better off with someone, like the next person that comes around, if they decide to like break the engagement off, is gonna be like so the opposite end of the spectrum. And then hindsight will be 20-20,

and they'll see like, oh shit, like I-

That was bad.

That was really bad. Yeah, if you're in a relationship like this, you're gonna spend the rest of your life, you know, trying to just win your partner's approval, which is not how a relationship

should be.

And then he'll never be wrong. He's never trying to win your approval. Yeah, no.

No, he doesn't care.

He doesn't respect you.

He doesn't trust you, clearly.

He said it.

He doesn't need your approval. I don't know if I said it about this one or another one. This sounds like a cry for help, you know? And like, she's doing the one where she's like, no, defending him, blah, blah, blah. Like, she's the one that's trying to make it all work. And he's just like, no, I will stand by. I think that, you know, like the whole thing about like being extra careful

about who your kids are bringing around. like I get it to a degree, this guy has access to a lot more resources, so like I'm not gonna sit there and say like, I'm 100% on his side. But your mind does get a little barbaric and crazy when you have children because-

No, there's some good points in what he's saying.

Like that is like, there is a sense of like, the world is scary. Like when you have kids, you wanna keep them close because the outside world is what's scary. Like when you have kids, you want to keep them close because the outside world is what's scary. So like, there are points where you've probably thought as a parent some crazy things, you know, but you also don't have the resources to do those things, you know? And, and if this is someone that is this, I don't want to use the term unhinged

lightly, but like just a little nuts, then. I agree. I mean, I think there's some blinders on right now and like some of his points completely valid, but again, just a little too far and that is kind of the resources, but it's like, what's the… there's like a quote, it's like the power quote, maybe it's from like Spider-Man or something where it's like…

Please don't quote Spider-Man unless you're going gonna have me do it correctly. But like, you know the one with the power? It's like... With great power comes great responsibility.

Well, close, close.

Yes! Close, close, close.

Is that Iron Man? What's it from?

Oh, God.

I'm gonna scream into the microphone right now. What is it? Say it, please.

It's with great power, he's gotta reel it in and have, you know, the responsibility side of it.

Yeah. I also don't want to just start like loosely throwing around the term of like abuse, but like someone that has a little more understanding of that world might be able to look at this under a different scope and say like, this is potentially dangerous because again, she's doing the work to be like, no, no, everything's okay. And then yeah, I mean it's absolutely abuse Like it's I mean, it's very clearly abuse. I'm not a professional. Well, neither am I

We'll let them chime in. We'll see. We'll wait for them in the comments. You think you'll see it or your listener? Our listeners. Yeah, we've got a lot of Psychologists LMFTs like a lot of therapists. So on some of the stories we'll get like their takes. I love when like our lawyers chime in on legal stories. Like we have a good community that comments. But this post is, the update is from December 15th, 2025. So just a few weeks ago.

Oh my.

So I could see us getting another update eventually.

Gotta get some internet salutes to like check.

Exactly.

Some homicide detectives in the country.

Exactly. Let's see who, maybe we can find him. And like, yeah.

Maybe don't open that case.

It's gonna come for you.

Okay. Maybe not.

One last one to just like send us off on a good foot in a good mood.

Okay, loving foot.

What?

What did you say?

Did you say a love of foot?

I was gonna say love going off on a good note, but like I said love foot.

He loves feet.

Not really.

Bigfoot guy. No, don't start that. Let's make that very clear.

You're the one that wants to make a foot statue.

It's true.

A candy foot.

I'm trying to give him business advice, which is a very sought after commodity nowadays.

You're gonna be his first customer you want to try it. No, ew, don't do that. This one is titled me 19 female with a guy I'm seeing 20 male three dates he only wears the same shirt. Hold on is that it? No. Oh okay I'll let you finish. Hey reddit so I've been seeing this guy we met through a work friend so we weren't friends before or anything like that. He's really great, attractive, has a nice job. He's funny, considerate, A plus.

I really like him. We texted a little bit before our first date. I said that I'd really like a casual date. When I get to the restaurant, he's wearing a where's the beef shirt.

Fire, stop.

I thought it was hilarious. I loved it. Second date. We go bowling. It was adorable. I'm terrible at it, but I do love bowling. He's terrible, too So we used the bumpers. Kids were making fun of us, but it was really great. He's wearing the same shirt again I assumed it was because I thought it was so funny on the first date Third date. He's making me dinner at his place. I get there, it's the same shirt. Two weeks has gone by since the first date. I ask him if it's a running joke or if it was just a coincidence. He shows me his closet. Every

single shirt. Every single one that read, where's the beef? He opens a drawer, even more of them, exactly the same. He says the ones in the drawer are a size bigger for around the house and sleeping in. He has a lot of them, probably about 20, but I'm not sure.

20? Okay.

I asked why, and he said he just really likes that shirt. I was really weirded out, but we had dinner and then I left. I called my friends who introduced us. He said, oh yeah, he always wears that shirt. I thought I told you that. No, you did fucking not.

Reddit, what do I do? I really like this guy, but I don't know if I want to start something with a guy that dresses like a cartoon character. What would you do? Help.

See, this is tough. I think there's two routes to go, obviously. The not being into it and saying like, listen, no thank you. I just want to see other people. You don't necessarily need to give a reason why. Or triple down, show up to his place with a boombox outside of his window wearing a what's the beef shirt and just be, you know, there you go.

There you go.

You know, sign of romance.

So then you're just fully in now.

Fully in on the beef.

Where's the beef family?

Oh man.

You know what's funny is I feel like we know someone that would do something like this where they just have the same shirt over and over and over again.

I don't even know who you're thinking of.

This is such a college coded thing where like their whole personality is just like quippy graphic tees and stuff like that, which as a reformed graphic t-shirt wearer.

Reformed?

Reformed. which as a reformed graphic t-shirt wearer, uh, reformed, I feel like I can understand that.

You keep going.

Oh, I didn't know what was going on.

Like you're just going to get a gun.

She's going to get it.

Stop. Wait, is this the shirt? First of all,

the fact that it's yellow makes this a hundred times. Well, isn't it from a Wendy's commercial from like the 80s? Is that what it is? I believe it was like the commercial was like an old woman Oh, it was it Wendy's or first of all, if you're a fast-food company and you have to Have a thing that says where's the beef? Problem should be right there in your you shouldn't have to look hard to find the beef. Yeah, this is incredible

And why don't you guys have something nice to remember our time?

Thank you. I and I swear to God if I feel like if you walk into someone's house and they have 30

Shirts 30 of those. Where's the beef yellow shirts in? General, so I think in this story it there's some context that it's red with a yellow writing

It's not much better not much better. It is better, but not much I think that like if you actually wanted to date this guy I'd be like dude, you're not gonna let this go like it's time

Yeah, is it a bet? Were you bullied as a kid? Well, someone comments that there's something there's something there Someone goes what if he was traumatized as a child by a different shirt? We just don't know.

Yeah, I mean, do we have information on what? Like if he just says like, yeah, I just like them, there's clearly like his fraternity like made a bet, like, listen, dude, wear the shirt until she realizes it. And then when she does, you have the amount of dates you have to drink that many bush lights and just absolutely Rage hard at the next formal did 20 shirts of the same shirt. Mm-hmm. That's not even necessary also Can I it's a month for a sec? Well, he doesn't want to run out

You know, he's always with laundry for a second. Okay, okay, I Think that one of the things that could be taken from this, what was the Reddit thread on this? Is it a listener?

Do we know?

It is coming from r slash relationships. Okay. It's 10 years old now.

10 years old, first of all, this was prime, like, people doing things just to get, be quirky on the internet. Yeah. doing things just to be quirky on the internet, which I guess still happens. Two, if nothing else, this shows that this person is committed, they're loyal, where that loyalty is, maybe today it's placed in where's the beef t-shirts, maybe tomorrow it's placed in

the relationship. And then how beautiful... Let me do this. Let me, let me, let me go. I haven't said a word. Pull in tight, please. If you could just like play some like, you know, like sappy music. There's no end here.

You know, one day there will come a time where he finally takes that wears the beef shirt off. And it'll be a moment, a stepping stone in that relationship. OP if you're listening do you want to be that moment? Do you want to be the person that he takes off the wears the beef shirt for? Do you want to

take that t-shirt off? Rip it off. Like Hulk Hogan. He probably wouldn't like that. He probably wouldn't like that at all. He's got 19 more. It's okay. Yeah I mean. You can get a little wild with one. I don't and I feel like you could donate these to him Yeah, so then he's got I'm not going to enable

He doesn't need more 20 shirts is like How could it even be possible? Like that's one for 20 days. You can wear the same shirt and not do laundry I kind of respect it. Honestly, there's a level of dedication here that I am almost envious of Like they can just commit to one shirt. If anything, it makes going out and, you know,

figuring out what to wear so much easier.

I panic every time I have to get dressed.

What if you know, like, I'm going out, where's the beef? I'm on an island here. I'm going out, where's the beef? Also, how is this appropriate in like every setting? You know what I mean? No, I didn't. Well, what is he wearing at a wedding?

He's got a, where's the beef under the tux?

Probably.

He works in IT, so he gets away with it for his job.

Oh, okay.

Very casual.

Very casual.

Very casual.

Yeah.

Every day is where's the beef. I don't understand why people can look at this and say like, ew, what? I think this is a man that just wants to be loved for his t-shirt collection. And yet something is getting in the way of that.

It's all there is to it.

It's ironic.

Something is getting in the way of this love that you seek.

And it's the beef.

How can you look at this and not be in love with somebody? Yeah. You gotta love someone inside and out. From the tip of their head.

That's not.

Tip of their head?

Where is the tip of your head?

Some people have pointy heads.

Yes they do.

I guess technically the tip of a head would be a chin.

No that's a chin.

That's not how that works. Why?

It's technically a tip.

I feel like the tip is the top but the tip does not need to be at the top That's the tippy top. Would you say the tip of a needle is the top of the needle? No, it's the bottom of the needle

What are we talking about little tip? It's not the bottom

Why that's a plunger the tip of the needle is where you put it into people

No, because then they turn it upside down in order to use it properly. So that you just said it turn it upside down in order to use it properly. So that's the bottom. You just said it, turn it upside down. Well, they hold it in a specific manner that for appropriate proper usage, which means technically when it is used properly, it is the bottom.

Feel like you're doing a lot of gymnastics to make that work for you.

I have a nosebleed. Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

I don't know, how would you even react if you like went to a dude's house and he just had like the same, you know what that reminds me of? Remember in the movie Dodgeball, where he goes to her house and she's got all unicorns and she's seemingly otherwise is like normal

and you get, it's like, what is going on here?

I mean, I would have asked on the third date. I'm very curious. You got to me, but like, what's the story? Well, you didn't know about like, date number two, you could've asked.

Yeah, but I'd be like, where's the beef? People have quirks.

People have quirks. You guys are missing the full picture here. This person is, if they are loyal to their shirt, they are gonna be loyal. Maybe, maybe they keep it on when things get a little more intimate.

I am certain of that. And then there's an answer to where's the beef? You know what I'm saying? Like it fits every part of life.

And here it is.

I'm excited.

Where's the beef?

And here it is.

I'm excited for you to share in that glory with him.

Who am I sharing with what?

You wear your shirt.

Yeah.

Oh, I mean, I will tell you this. I'm gonna go home and my wife is gonna be like, first question I have.

Where'd you get that?

Why the shirt? Thank you for this. This was really kind. I know how, I'm gonna give it a go. Should we wear it out of here?

No.

Come on.

No.

No, I'm just gonna commit to just in my apartment first, just to try it out.

Okay. at first, just to try it out. And see if the beast takes over me. It can also just be like a sleep shirt or literally a donation shirt that you just then feel really good about.

See, I am big on gifts. And I will hold this.

They're yelling at us, we gotta go.

I know, I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's not a good thing.

This will be forever in my home. This will get passed down to my grandchildren probably.

Holy shit. and you first, like, thanks for coming on. Thank you for having us. Yes, thank you so much for having us. I'm so excited. Where can people find you?

You can find us at The Basement Yard,

YouTube and Spotify and wherever you find podcasts.

Everywhere, everywhere.

All over the place.

Everywhere.

Yeah.

All of their links will be in the description. Super easy to find. Amazing podcast, quirky, fun.

You guys are quirky. We're quirky. Not the shirt. Like 2009 Zooey Deschanel?

I don't know if we're that quirky.

Yeah, probably not.

Okay.

But we're quirky.

Thank you both. Thank you. Thank you. Until next time guys, bye!