Pam Bondi Melts Down! & DOJ Spies On Congress! | HIGNFYUS

-♪ ♪ -♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Heights. I think that that should give all of us, uh, cause to-to pause and think, hmm, I wonder what this is about.

Substitute teacher sees right through your little antics.

I see we switched up our seating chart.

CDC releases new vaccine guidelines.

I'm not scared of a germ. You know, I used to snort cocaine off of toilet seats.

On Amberson tonight, he's a journalist, and this year, he was chosen as one of Forbes' 30 Under 30, so I'm hoping he can put in a good word for me for Forbes 40 Over 40. It's Aaron Parmas!

-♪♪

And joining Michael, he is a legendary Canadian actor and comedian who was a co-founder and star of Kids in the Hall, and we were charged a 6% tariff just to bring him here. Scott Thompson, everybody. Now, for the biggest stories of the week,

Amber, Aaron, please watch the clip and tell me what is the story.

This is Pam Bondi testifying about Epstein, and she talked and talked and talked and didn't say shit.

The story is Pam Bondi and Trump's Department of Justice. The DOJ has America saying WTF, and it all starts with a certain PDF file full of PDF files.

Uh...

On Wednesday, Attorney General Pam Bondi appeared before the House Judiciary Committee to answer questions about her handling of the Epstein files, and Bondi was nothing but a professional.

No, I'm gonna answer the question the way I want to answer the question.

Your theatrics are ridiculous. Chairman Jordan, I'm not gonna get question the way I want to answer the question

Chairman Jordan, I'm not gonna get in the gutter with these people. Don't tell me I did tell you because we saw what you did in the Senate

Quiet don't yell at me didn't ask Merritt Garland anything about Epstein not once when he was... Weak sauce. Weak sauce. And also... You got to... You got to give Pam Bondi this.

She's good at spinning some shit.

What?

You don't get that good overnight. That's hours of, like, complaining at McDonald's and Home Depot. What I really love is this one woman's facial expression. Just says it all. Why was Pam Bondi in front of the Judiciary Committee

in the first place?

Because the DOJ wouldn't release the Epstein files the way they should have. Redaction, redaction, redaction. That's all you got.

Yeah, Congress was granted access to unredacted versions of the Epstein files for the first time, but they hit some roadblocks. Uh, question, what's been standing in the way of Congress gaining full, unredacted access to the Epstein files?

First of all, the Department of Justice, and if you want to see them as a congressperson, they've got four computers.

Four computers.

There's four computers. So, um, it would take many months to actually have the time. I, you know, I only had a few hours. I think the transparency argument is really kind of a sham, because it's not really possible.

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you have to wait

to get a computer?

It is not possible.

Four computers. Like the library, bitch.

Like, you just...

My library has more than four computers.

I got to be honest. Turns out Congress can only look at the files between 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. on weekdays, and they have to give the DOJ 24 hours' notice before they look at them. And only members of Congress are allowed to look at the files and log in and read them.

What is the average age of a member of Congress? It's, like, 87, 88, something like that?

Ooh!

They don't know how to use computers? What is the one thing that's making matters even worse once they've accessed the files?

Is it that they're scratching SNF?

-♪ ♪ -♪

It's because the DOJ is tracking which members of Congress looked at the files, and they're tracking which files they looked at.

We have learned from this photo that the searches that members of Congress are performing are apparently being tracked and then read by the Department of Justice, by the attorney general.

If you look at the photo from inside Bundy's binder, you can see she literally has a list of everything that Representative Jayapal searched for. One congressperson even clapped what she was doing as it happened.

I'd like to see you flip to the Jared Moskowitz section of the binder. I'm interested to see what staff provided on the oppo on me, and because we're in the Olympics, I'm gonna give it a grade. I just want to see how good it is.

So give me your best one.

So, first of all, nothing is funny about mocking the Bible and holding up a Trump Bible. That's what you did. You made a joke, and I find offense to that. That's all I have to say to you.

I want it from the Bern book. I want it from the Bern book, which is the best one. What you got?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Maryland rep Jimmy Raskin didn't think there was anything

fun about Pamaking, though. It is a violation of the separation of powers for them to essentially be monitoring our computer searches on the Epstein file. So, I-I think it's outrageous that they would do that, and it's Orwellian, and, uh, we're gonna have some more to say about it soon.

I mean, Mike Johnson and his son monitor each other's porn usage, so this seems fine.

Bondi continued to blow up throughout her testimony, and what was the most damning moment for A.G. Bondi during this hearing?

When she was finally honest and was like, look, I love to protect pedophiles. It's what I was hired to do, and I'm gonna do it. And I'm gonna fight anyone who says I can't. Do you remember that part?

I do.

I must admit, I was flipping between that and the Olympics, so I must have missed it.

There was a moment where all the survivors, about a dozen of them, stood up, right? And they all looked at Pam Bondi, and Pam Bondi didn't look at them once. That moment right there, I think, ends her tenure as attorney general.

Yeah.

-♪ ♪ -♪

Points for Aaron. Why would anyone ever expect Pam Bondi to make a stand against assault?

She made a big show right at the beginning of the administration. We're gonna-we're gonna get out these files, and-and she gave them to a bunch of, uh, right-wing influencers, and she-she was making a whole big deal of it.

The reason why it's so shocking that Pam Bondi is against defending victims of assault is because she said she would in 2014 during this campaign ad.

Florida ranks third nationally in calls for help for human trafficking, where young women and children are enslaved and abused. I'll fight to put human trafficking, where young women and children are enslaved and abused. I'll fight to put human trafficking monsters where they belong, behind bars.

Pam Bondi, our attorney general.

That's our attorney general, you're booing.

Boo!

Boo!

I'll put human traffickers behind bars. Right? Bars. I mean, little black bars on sheets of paper.

Bars are slimming.

They are.

That's what they told me when they put me in jail the first time.

Here's Pam saying what we should be talking about instead.

The Dow is over $50,000. I don't know why you're laughing. You're a great stock trader, as I hear, Raskin. The Dow is over $50,000 right now. The S&P at almost $7,000. And the NASDAQ's smashing records. Americans' 401ks and retirement savings are booming. That's what we should be talking about.

What does a Dow have to do with anything? That's what they just asked? Are you kidding?

The stock was at 50,000!

The market did fall below 50,000 after she finished testifying, so...

You were at that hearing, right?

I was right outside. They didn't let me in.

Did you speak to the survivors?

Yeah. And what can you share about what they said

after the hearing?

They're horrified, right? They're horrified. It's not just Pam Bondi. It's been five administrations. It's been several departments of justice. They just want justice. And instead, they get their own witness statements

that they told the FBI, and it's all blacked out. They can't even see their own documents. Right? So they're horrified.

Bondi wasn't the only Trump administration official to testify about Epstein this week. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick answered questions about his relationship with the apex pedophile before a congressional committee this week.

What did Howard have to say about his association with Epstein?

That it was nothing. Why are you even talking about it? It barely, barely knows the guy. Yes, they spent a lot of time together.

He was letting it.

I did have lunch with him as I was on a boat going across on a family vacation. My wife was with me, as were my four children and nannies. I had another couple with... They were there, as well, with their children.

And we had lunch on the island. That is true, for an hour,

and we left with all of my children. Oh. He knows how bad it is because he felt the need to say that he left with his children. If I go to a friend's house for lunch with my kids and I'm telling somebody about it, I then don't say,

and my children left, too.

Who's actually facing consequences for their connections to Epstein and being in the files?

The royal formerly known as Prince.

That's one of them.

Oh, that's true. When you say Prince, you got to put Andrew right behind that immediately. Right, right. The black people know. You don't just...

You don't just go formerly known as Prince.

You're like, no!

There's a bunch of Brits, I feel like, who are in a lot of trouble. Oh, you got the ambassador, Mendelsohn. You got the sultan from Dubai, who has just resigned today.

Wait, sultans can resign?

Well, I think his first name's Sultan.

Oh, OK.

That's right, baby. Get up.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And then there's Elon Musk. Who's Elon Musk been coming for this week?

It's Steve Bannon.

That sounds so right, Aaron. I want to trade teammates.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

It is Steve Bannon. Despite being mentioned in the files himself, Elon's been tweeting about human mucinect blob Steve Bannon. Bannon's all over the files. He and Jeffrey Epstein have a selfie together. And in 2019, the same year Epstein went to jail

for the last time, Bannon texted Epstein an offer to rebuild his image by producing a documentary about what a great philanthropist he is.

Yes.

The name of that documentary? Melania. -♪ Melania. -♪ Yes. Now, Pam Bondi might not be interested in what Epstein's victims have to say, but some of those victims sat down with NBC News just after the hearing. So there's the crimes of Jeffrey Epstein,

and then there's the crimes of the cover-up. And she's part of that continuing cover-up. So she didn't

apologize for that so like oh the theater and then like yes you're the

main character in this the circus act yes she was a comedian too all said yes everyone was laughing at her do you believe they did the best they could do

they not know the Dow is at 50,000?

Michael and Scott, watch the clip. Tell me, what's the story?

All right, uh, Bitcoin, so that's fake money and fake people, and... that's a flag of a...

Puerto Rico?

No, I don't think so, but good guess.

Is that the flag of Puerto Rico?

No.

Oh, that's Trump's tie.

Yes. So we've got... Is Bitcoin the same as Doge?

I don't know much about finance. Right, or apparently anything.

Not really.

And this has something to do with Trump's...

AI, it's AI.

All right, we're gonna go with AI.

The story is Trump got elected a second time, looked around at all the people who wanted something from him, and he hit them with that famous line from Jerry Maguire.

I didn't shoplift the pootie.

-♪ ♪ --ha-ha-ha!

Supposed to be, show me the money.

-♪ ♪ --ha-ha-ha!

According to The New York Times, Donald Trump has made $1,408,500,000 off of this presidency. Question, what has been Trump's biggest moneymaker since he became president?

Well, it's not the Melania movie.

Nope.

Is it his Bitcoin?

Yeah, it's his crypto.

What is that?

Instead of real dollars that are in your pocket, Bitcoin is imaginary money. It's on the internet. You can't really spend it at a lot of places, nor does it do a lot of stuff. But it is real.

I mean, it's all just a bunch of gold bars somewhere, right?

Are we getting into a conversation about financial architecture right now?

Yes.

In Sumerian times, people used to...

No. So, according to The New York Times, since taking office, the Trumps have made at least $867 million through various cryptocurrencies. In 2024, while Trump was between presidencies and on trial for all the crimes and all of that stuff,

a lot of banks didn't want to do business with the Trumps. So Don Jr. and Eric went around to all the banks, and they started a company called World Liberty Financial. They did that with a friend of theirs, Zach Woodcoff, and, uh, that's Zach, seen here celebrating Black History Month. -♪ ♪ --Ha-ha-ha.

And Eric and Don Jr. basically formed this dollar-pegged stablecoin called USD1. We all know what a stablecoin is.

Of course, Michael, why won't you explain? A stablecoin is a cryptocurrency

that holds horses.

Exactly. Oh.

That's right. The difference between a stable coin and other forms of crypto is that a stable coin is tied to an actual currency, so it's more likely to hold its value and not see as many peaks and valleys.

So Trump's World Liberty Financial essentially gets a cut of every sale involving their coin, and they get a cut of the interest. So here's a fun multiple choice question. Which nefarious sounding global player has a huge stake in Trump run World Liberty Financial?

Secretariat.

Is it Sheikh Tanun bin Zayed Al Nayan,

AKA the spy Sheikh? Is it Sheikh Tanun bin Zayed al-Nayan,

aka the Spy Sheikh, Boris Rusnikov, aka the KGBeast, or Toshi Yamamoto?

Number one.

Oh, number one.

Trump would never get involved with somebody from the UAE called the Spy Sheik. That would not happen.

It was okay because he got involved four days before he took office. So he wasn't president.

Oh, well then it's fine.

Yeah, how about that?

Oh, I shouldn't be fighting you. We're in the same team.

Yeah, it's Sheikh Tanun bin Zayed Al-Nayan, AKA the Spy Sheik, seen here right after he took out his last Invisalign tray. He's a member of the royal family of the UAE and oversees a $1.3 trillion empire, making him one of the most powerful single investors in the world. And here's what went down.

Just days before Trump's second inauguration, the Journal reports 49%, nearly half, of the Trump Family Crypto Company,

World Liberty Financial, was purchased for $500 million. The company is now the largest cryptocurrency company in the world. Just days before Trump's second inauguration, the Journal reports 49%, nearly half, of the Trump family crypto company World Liberty Financial was purchased for $500 million by Sheikh Tanun bin Zayed Al Mayan,

sometimes referred to as the Spy Sheikh. The Journal reporting the Trump family earned an upfront payment of an estimated $187 million in the deal, with another $31 million reportedly going to the family of Trump's Middle East envoy, Steve Whitkoff.

Spy shake, invest a bunch of money in the Trump situation. What do you think he got in return for that investment?

AI, AI. A thank-you note?

-♪ ♪ -♪

Months later, the Trump administration approved something the shake and others in the UAE long coveted, the sale of hundreds of thousands of cutting-edge American artificial intelligence chips to that country, a move the previous administration blocked, where the state-of-the-art technology

could be sold or smuggled to China.

I don't think he's gonna do spy shit with it.

No, of course. Why would I?

His name is ironic. -♪ ♪ --ha ha ha!

The $1.4 billion Trump has made off his presidency isn't all from crypto. Uh, he still spent the second term making some of his money the old-fashioned way.

My new Trump fragrances are here. I've named them Fight, Fight, Fight because they represent winning. We all want to be winning. We have to win as a nation. We want to win as a family.

Get yourself a bottle, and don't forget to grab one for your loved ones, too. They'll thank you, and they'll even smell good.

We'll be right back.

-♪♪

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