Samay Raina - STILL ALIVE (Full Special)

So, I'm going to play a video of the first time I met her. I'm going to play the video. I'm going to play the video. I'm going to play the video.

I'm going to to change my style. Then why did you install Wi-Fi? I'm not able to be an independent woman.

I'm just a 4.

I speak as much braille as the time in Kashmir.

I need time.

Her audacity is like someone else's audacity. I can't see anyone else's progress.

I'll give you 150 rupees.

Okay bro, I have another question.

Would you rather...

Supreme Court observed that such language is not acceptable. Supreme Court told us.

India's got latent...

Professional perverts and full-time idiots.

How many more of us are the perpetrators?

How people would like to...

Me...

My family and I...

Controversial comedians...

The police...

We're going to stay in our homes...

We're not even leaving our homes... We're not even leaving our homes...

The ones who cut the ties... People, I am sorry. I am sorry. No, never.

And people who buy tickets to listen to all this stuff for her, they buy tickets and they go to these shows and they sit and listen and they clap for these,

whatever, I don't know if these are even jokes. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome on stage Samar Raghunath. What's up, Bangalore? What a show! Give a big round of applause for everyone. Everyone's here.

A little applause for our opening act. How did you like his set? He was so nervous backstage. You know, it's my favorite hobby. Just before a big show, I look at the backstage opening act. I enjoy it.

It's so cute. He was asking me how many people are there today. I said, there are about 11-12 hundred people. He was excited. Yes, brother. It's going to be fun. You know?

He still has dreams in their eyes. They get excited with stand-up. They have hopes and dreams. One day, I will also become a main act. Wow! It's so cute to me, you know. Because I was like this at one point in my life.

There is that day. There is a day, there is a day today, Kushal Bhanushali was using all his strength and I was watching him from behind

how hard he was working

for an FIR. There is no future for this art form. Motherfucker, beer biceps.

He ruined my mental health. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. The PR biceps man showed The monk who sold my Ferrari I have 3 FIRs You know I always knew That one day I will get an FIR But I thought it would be because I said something. I didn't say anything in that episode.

I was just sitting in the corner. We Kashmiris die in the corner. We die in Kashmiri crossfire. Oh, man! What a year I've been through!

Bro!

Oh, my God, man! February, fucking hell, bro! Hell my god man! February ka mahina Fucking hell bro! Hell broke loose in February. Saab aa gaye the khaane humko. Politicians, celebrities,

Sunil Pal. Sunil Pal keh raha tha, inko bolo Kapil Sharma se seekhe. Kapil Sharma se seekhe. Kapil Sharma. Learn from Kapil Sharma. Kapil Sharma himself was coming in the next episode. Kapil Sharma himself was messaging me,

Love your show, big fan of the show, what a timing you have. This Sunil Pal was coming in between. What was going on? All the irrelevant people trying to get some limelight by kicking the f**king dead at that time man. Bipurak came in between. I was shocked man. I love that guy's music. Not even 2 minutes passed and Bipurak came. What is this happening in this show? I will never come on a podcast again.

Who called you, bro? Everyone came that time, bro. Everyone to eat with us. Shaktimaan came, bro. Shaktimaan, really? How will we fight Shaktimaan, bro?

Sorry, Shaktimaan. Shaktimaan was saying, how will his content affect the kids? What will happen to the kids after watching this content? I don't know how many of you used to watch TV in the Shaktimaan era. Every month, there was a news.

A kid jumped off a building after seeing Shaktimaan. You've killed kids by saying, fuck, fuck, fuck. What moral high ground have you taken, Shaktimaan? What was that? Everyone was there at that time.

Fucking everybody.

For what?

For a fucking joke? That people didn't like? It's not something you do. I couldn't believe it. The scale they took it to was insane, disproportional. How can you do this for a small joke?

Fucking fine, I said something, beer, white surf, I said something bad. Who doesn't? Every favorite comedian, influencer, podcaster, celebrity cricketer has said something on the internet which has hurt people.

Everybody makes mistakes, man. I did it. I once joked about abortion. Do you remember? Especially girls.

I know.

It was 7 in the morning. I was sitting on Twitter at 7 in the morning. I wasn't sleeping. I thought it was a joke. I tweeted about abortion. The girls got upset. They started writing back.

They also have Twitter. But I was half asleep. So I started replying to everyone. And I wrote funnylying to everyone.

And I wrote funny replies to 15-20 girls.

I wrote 4-5 girls, I'm going to fuck your mother. I'm sorry.

There you have it, I'm sorry about that. I was just naive. I thought I am being some cool guy. I did something. I did it. Now the girls got angry with me. They started shouting on Twitter that we will cancel this. So I said I am not afraid of cancel culture. I will show you what a true comedian is.

Till then I was not from the right wing. I thought this is the cancel culture. Girls will say something wrong. She got even more angry. She said, these comedians say anything. They don't get any punishment.

There has to be some accountability. This is not fair. But let me tell you, it's not like that. Every time a comedian, a public figure hurts people by saying something, you lose that person that you have hurt from your audience forever.

That is the punishment you get. Because of how I behaved with those four women on the internet, 10,000 girls saw that and now they hate Samay Raina. For life. Now no matter what I do, I will find I can cure cancer. 10,000 girls will say, this is my sister's problem.

That is the punishment you get. BR Biceps said something about parents. So the parents who used to watch his podcast, they might get heartbroken. They said, we will never watch his podcast. That is the punishment that is fair, right?

This should happen, right? This is not fair.

You made a bad joke, and now the military is here. That is the punishment that is fair, right? This should be there, right?

This is not fair. Bad joke, you got beaten up, military came to your house. Tankers are coming, private jets are flying, missiles are falling. This is not fair. It was so unfair what was happening with BR Biceps. When I was watching this, the whole country was behind BR Biceps.

I decided I will defend this guy until the fucking end. But the way he hit the joke, I couldn't defend him at home. My mother used to ask me day and night, what did he say? I used to say, leave it mom, he is a disgusting man. What did he say in the flow? Leave your parents?

Will you see this? What are you saying? Even if the father of B.R.Y.S.F.S. sleeps alone, he locks the door from inside. How do you defend such a disgusting thing? If someone else had said this, we could have tried to defend it. If I had said such a disgusting thing, nothing would have happened.

The problem is, BR Biceps created their image of yoga, meditation, spirituality, sadhana for the first 10 years. And then they are saying in my show, will you suck my dick? what are you doing? you can't mix both you either do yoga or suck my dick don't make a new asana by mixing both

of course people will get angry What did he do? How did he say it? He broke the character, right? See, I don't know if you know this or not But if you have come to my show, I will tell you Whatever you see of us, comedians, creators, actors, celebrities, public figures

You are never watching us as who we are. We are just playing a character on the internet. Because if we become honest, the things we say in real life, if we do it on the internet, it's three FIRs a day.

Yeah.

Just stay safe in India. In India, internet is not a platform to showcase your art. In India, internet is a game we play to set a high score in our bank accounts. I am also on the internet, I am also acting. That is also a character. But the character I have made on the internet,

the way I am in real life, I have made him more of a scoundrel. If you have to do a play, then you have to be a scoundrel on the internet. Because a scoundrel is not expecting anything good from a person. I will say bad things, people will say,

this scoundrel will do it. It's free to be a scoundrel. It's freeing, it's liberating. If you take a clean image, you will get a lot of love on the internet. But you will always be stressed. You will always be stressed. Once you give a hug, the whole world will be ready to pull you down. A clean person can never become a scoundrel on the internet.

A scoundrel can become clean at any time. Like I went to KBC. I went there. I cleaned so much. No one had a doubt. No one got angry,

why did he break the character?

Right?

Wasn't I thinking the opposite while sitting on the hot seat? Wasn't I thinking, Sir, you added so much polio, still why couldn't you make your son stand on his feet? I didn't do this there. I did it there.

Sir, my grandma is a big fan of yours. My grandma is dead. It's been 7 years You are not honest on the Indian internet. You cannot be yourself. You play the game. You play the room. It's all a fucking facade. I understand the game very, very well. I used to think when I was going to KBC that I become a scoundrel everywhere. I'll be clean here. People will say, what a versatile creator.

He can be a scoundrel and clean too. What a crazy guy! Wow! Beer biceps ne bhi yehi socha hoga ki main har jaga clean karta hi hoon. Yaha ek haraam hi kar dunga na, log bolenge, what a crazy, versatile guy!

Nahi!

Non-vegetarian can eat veg! If a vegetarian eats non-veg, he'll definitely vomit. He vomited a very expensive vomit. I had to remove the entire show from YouTube overnight. I made this show with a lot of heart. Did you watch India's Got Latent?

Yes!

Everyone used to watch it. We had taken a stat from YouTube. My show used to be viewed on a monthly 4 crore unique devices. 4 crore unique devices. 4 crore. 4 out of 100 people were watching my show. They were laughing.

I know how I deleted that show from YouTube. It broke me like anything, man. I never wanted to remove it. I was in the US at that time. Mumbai police called me. They said, you have to remove all the episodes right now.

I said, I am not removing them sir, I live in a democracy, we have freedom of speech. So they arrested my editor. My editor told me that there are 20 police officers in the police station. And they are watching each and every episode. And they are making notes.

That where else did this kind of language experiment take place? I said, before this, they have seen the Rakhi Sawant episode, I'll remove it.

If the police had watched the Rakhi Sawant episode,

they would have thrown me out of the country. At that time, I was getting support from Pakistan. They were saying, start a show here, we'll get a lot of views.

I was like, I was getting support from Pakistan.

They were saying, start a show here, Samay bhai. We won't cut any of your jokes. I said, what about the jokes you cut? I never wanted this level of controversy. I used to play this internet game so safely. What do I tell you? The show you used to watch, India's Got Latent, the one hour you used to watch,

you used to watch that the cleanest one hour. The one who has seen that show live, knows that the show was 5 hours long. You have never seen the real controversial 4 hours. Because there was no script in that show. Anyone could say anything.

Someone would joke about religion, someone would joke about caste, someone would say something about LGBTQ, someone would say something sexist. Then I would remove him and say, no, no, no, he will be eaten by the right wing. No, no, he will be eaten by the left wing. I would tell him, no, no, no, he'll get right-winged. No, no, he'll get left-winged. I would handle him in full edit. I played so safely.

That 5-hour episode, I would take a half-hour break in the middle of that. To see how everyone's mental health was. Because taking non-stop jokes on yourself is a very difficult job. jokes on yourself non-stop. You can see that on the edit. Everyone is laughing.

In real life, someone would make a joke on me. Then I would think about it while taking a bath at night. Why did he say that? I have become fat. People were laughing. Everyone has their own insecurities.

And they used to say very bad things. People used to say the worst things to people because they wanted to make the panelist funny. People have cried and left the panel midway. Then I used to go to everyone's rooms. That if someone is crying on Twitter or on a podcast

that something like this happened to us then at least they should say that it was time for us to help. The time has come.

That guy, the guy of the heart. I was playing the game safe till this level.

I went to everyone's room that day to play the raki after the first half.

I went to the room with BR. He was happy then. He was doing... He was happy. Asho! Whoo! Whoo!

He was happy. Ashish Chanchlani was happy. Balraj was happy. I was happy. Everything was going as per the plan. We were having a great episode. Apurva was the only one

who was crying after the first half. You guys know Apurva? Yes. That girl on that panel. Dude, I entered her room. She was crying like anything.

She couldn't be crying harder. I went and said, Apurva? Did I say something? My first thought is always this. I said something. She said, no, you didn't say anything.

I said, okay, I'll leave then. But I said, it's okay, let's ask what happened. I said, what happened? Why are you crying? She said, it's okay, you go, I'll be fine. I said, tell me, what happened?

She said, you go, it's okay. I said, Apoorva, you are my guest. I am your host. If you don't tell me what is bothering you, as a host, I won't start this show. You will have to tell me. Trust me like a brother and tell me what's bothering you. What did I say? And Apurva, with a lot of difficulty, with a lot of courage, while crying, she confessed her insecurity.

She said, Samay, you're making a joke every two minutes, on the spot. There's no script. I'm also trying,

but I've never done this before. So I'm feeling a lot of pressure because of you. I'm not able to say anything funny. Now when this episode comes out, so many people will watch it. They will abuse me that why did you call him? He didn't say anything funny. I will get abused a lot. I shouldn't have come today.

Maybe this is not meant for me. Maybe I am not funny. He told me such an emotional thing. And as soon as he finished, I realized that men don't know how to console. I asked him, I have asked you like a hero. What's bothering you?

I am a brother.

He doesn't know anything.

I thought he is having stomach ache. He is crying. I will take something from the inn. What can I say in this? I don't know how to talk emotionally. What's wrong with two men? We don't talk emotionally.

Didn't our EQ develop? Have you ever asked each other, Bro, if it's like this, then come on. They must be dying inside, but from outside... This is how men live. Half the men are in depression.

They are doing this outside.

Ahh!

It's going inside. I couldn't fulfill my father's dream. That girl was right. I was the idiot. I don't know where she is. He is running.

We do this drama all the time. We are men. We will show some emotion, right? I am a man, right? What is this life? I also cheated, I am not a saint, I also cheated. Apoorva said such an emotional thing to me.

While crying she said, Samay, I don't think I am funny. I said, Apoorva? You are right. What I meant to say was I explained to her

that you are not funny because you are not a comedian. I am a professional comedian. I do this everyday. That's why I'm funny. What I can do, you can't do. What you can do, who has to do that?

She!

I made her cry more to make her laugh. I thought she would laugh, but she started crying. She started crying like this. She didn't shut up. Then I shut up. She shut up.

So I kept quiet. I thought I was right to shut up. I said, Purva, it's okay. Wipe your tears. You are a lion. And I ran upstairs. Now I started the second half of the show.

In the second half of the show. In the second half, a performer came. A rapper from Gwalior. He said the same things that the rappers from Gwalior do. There was some confusion between him and Apurva. They started talking to each other. He told her, I will make a bad mood, so I started talking to each other.

She said, I'll make your vagina feel something. She said something terrible. And now I have the whole context. She was crying, she couldn't come back. She couldn't say anything funny, she doesn't know how to roast. So now I have to do something.

My guest won't listen to such a bad thing. I am the professional comedian, I am the man of the room. I have to do something. My guest won't listen to such a bad thing. I am the professional comedian. I am the man of the room. I have to handle this. I picked up the mic to give her a comeback. And I didn't think of anything else. Sometimes even a professional freezes.

I said, no problem, I'll remove this from the edit. I saw that Apoorva picked up the mic very casually. She said, have you ever seen a vagina, you idiot? I was so pissed off. I said, why didn't I say this? I'll remove this from the edit too.

She was very jealous. What a punchline she gave. What a fucking comeback to have in that moment. She failed 4 comedians. I was very jealous. But I was so proud of her also.

Because what a comeback to have in that moment. Some things happen in life in layers. Forget about the surface level. Apoorva, rapper. That was not the moment. The moment was deeper, bigger than that. It was not Apoorva giving comeback to a rapper from Gwalior.

It was a woman standing up for herself and winning against a man. In this patriarchal setup, where no one expects a woman to say anything, that girl, in her own language, f**ked him up.

She won. He lost. It was a powerful moment. I got goosebumps. It was like powerful moment. I got goosebumps. It was like when garbage got balls spinned in tax. I took the party popper and hit it on Apurva's head. I said, yeah!

Is it less than our girls and boys?

Three FIRs.

That is the price of women standing up for themselves. If I could edit this episode again,

I think she f**king man. I think she fucking killed it. Come. Sometimes I think, I wish I hadn't put this episode. I'm sleeping now, after taking sleeping pills. Hiding my dark circles. What a life I was leading till January. I'm uploading every video on YouTube. 5 crore views, 6 crore views.

Every third reel is on Instagram. Every podcast is talking about me. I'm in their thumbnail, every celebrity wants to meet me, the rest of the comedians are getting their asses kicked.

Oh!

Woo!

It was fun, all the comedians were shaking their heads, we also want to make something like this, we also want to make a show like this, everyone was busy. Woo! I was selling out shows. I was king man. I was fucking king. I decided at that time, it's time to go abroad. I booked the biggest US tour of my life. Some 50,000 tickets I put out, they all went, sold out very very quickly. And I was ready. I booked arenas, I booked stadiums.

In the US, now summer has arrived, I am coming in my peak To fucking conquer the world I went in the mindset of Alexander the Great I booked a flight to the US First class Spread my legs

Flight took off, came up I took out my iPad I said, I'll edit this episode of Beer Biceps right now Then I don't want any stress in the US tour Now that was a 5 hour footage I had to cut it, I'm cutting it

No, no, this joke is too much I'm, no, no, remove it, remove it, I am doing it, I am doing it less, I am doing it less, I am doing it for 5 hours, I am doing it for 1 hour. You meet a lot of people, so you ask me a question, that brother Samay, if you have so much brain, then why didn't you remove that disgusting question from the edit?

I swear to you, I'll tell you the truth. In that episode, Beer Biceps asked that question 8 times. I asked him that.

And he asked me many other questions as well.

So when I saw the edit, I thought he's talking very bad. Okay, I'll keep one. I'll remove the rest. So, with my POV, I killed 99% of the insects. I didn't know that even 1%

would cause a pandemic. I didn't know that it would be pandemic with just 1% Our flight landed in Seattle After 3 days I had 2 shows in Seattle We got down, me and Balraj Balraj is my best friend, he comes with me everywhere Because he doesn't respect his family I uploaded the episode for members only. Nothing happened on the first day. Membership is increasing, I'm getting good comments.

On the second day, I started getting hate. I saw that clip on Twitter, I started getting abused. I said, okay, it's a usual cycle. On the third day,

on the morning of my show, Balraj woke me up.

He said,

Samay,

there's a problem. I said, what happened? He said, what BR Biceps said, people didn't like it at all.

I said,

why are you watching his podcast? I put the blanket on him. He said, what he said in your show, check on Twitter, what's going on your show, check what's going on on Twitter. So I opened Twitter and saw that beer biceps was trending on number one.

And I was on number two. So I was like, I'm number two. He's number one. I'm trending on beer biceps. I ignored him completely. Because now I'm used most popular in trending? I ignored it completely because now I'm used to the internet for 8 years

of people's outrage cycle People will abuse for 3 days and 4 days and on the 5th day their boss says Come on, make an excel sheet now I said, people don't have that much time

to get into this

This will go away

He said, Samay There's a debate going on? Are they looking for answers to that question? I opened a few YouTube live channels, news channels, Indian media had put up debates

on them.

These influencers are ruining our country.

These are the influencers, shame on them. I saw the next news on YouTube live, they are also doing the same.

These people, the ill-mannered brigade, are ruining our country. These people are ruining our country.

These people are ruining our country is being ruined. These are the influencers, shame on them. You saw the ugly news on YouTube Live, they are also saying the same thing. These people, these insolent brigades are ruining our country's youth. This was the entire narrative of the media. We are ruining the country.

Shame on you, media people. We are ruining the country. We are just making the country laugh. Entertaining it. People will stop laughing, people will start raising questions. We are making them laugh,

so they will say, ha ha ha, this railway is busy. We are just distracting people, media. Same team. Who fires a friendly shot? Media is busy sucking TRP from us. We'll suck for 3-4 days, then something else will happen in the country.

Then we'll suck from there, they'll leave. It's such a big. Then they will leave. It's such a big country. Something will happen. Those two weeks, nothing happened. Udit Narayan also stopped kissing. Just one kiss.

After that he used to do this and that in the show the hell is he doing? He was doing Hindu-Muslim-Bhai-Bhai for two weeks. No train, no reverse, nothing. We are not even moving from the news cycle. How did we know that this much would happen? We went to do a show. We had two shows in Seattle. I went to do the show.

Before the first show, I was playing chess backstage. Someone took my photo, tagged me. I shared it in the story. There were two shows. I went to perform. Before the first show, I was playing chess backstage. Someone took my photo, tagged me. I shared it in the story.

Playing chess, show time. I got down after the show. This story was on every news channel. He's playing chess there. This is all happening here and he's playing chess there. Bring him to India. He's playing chess there. This is all happening here and he's playing chess there. Bring him to India. He's playing chess there.

So for the first time I started getting scared. Because I had to go play poker at night. I thought, if he's are talking so much to me in chess, they will see me grinding leaves at night. They will say, he doesn't care, he is a fool, he is grinding leaves and sitting there shamelessly. And if the narrative of bringing me to India increases,

and if they bring me to India, then I will have to cancel the biggest US tour of my life. Then I'll be at a huge loss. So our team calculated, worst case scenario, if I had to come to India immediately after canceling the show,

how much loss would I have to bear? 8 crore rupees. I swear to God, how much money didre rupees in savings. I was so scared. I thought, oh fuck, there's a possibility that whatever I have earned in all these years, everything goes to shit.

What will I do? This is my life savings. I had to build a house. I was so anxious. In general, I suffer from anxiety. I was so anxious backstage. I was shivering before the second show. My heart was beating so fast. I was sweating. I was having vertigo. I was suffocating. I told Balraj. I said, Balraj, I am so anxious.

Zero ability to console. He has put the chat on GPT in front of me. My friend is anxious, what to say? Then he reads and hits a cliche. Bro, this too shall pass. It's better to sit quietly than this.

Don't give me these cliches. Brothers, listen to me carefully. When you are in someone's way, they don't want advice. They want a hug. They want you to say, you want water, how are you feeling? Ask, don't give. All my friends gave me a hug. They want you to say, you want water, how are you feeling? Ask, don't give.

All my friends gave me a hug. They are all messaging me. They are giving me advice. My therapist had messaged me.

This month free.

I messaged the therapist. I said, ma'am, I am feeling very anxious. They are saying, bring me to India. I will get a heart attack. If they bring India, please say, nothing of this sort will happen.

I don't understand. What should I do? He said, Samay, please, please calm down. You're having an anxiety attack. You take some deep breaths. Do some box breathing. Take a breath, stop it, let it go.

You go to your hotel room. Take a hot shower and go to sleep. I said, I have to be on stage in half an hour. It's my second show. She said, are you crazy? Please cancel the show. You cannot go on stage like this. I said, are you crazy? I can't cancel the show.

The value of the dollar is increasing. She said, Samai, you please understand. You cannot go on stage with so much anxiety. You have to understand. If you go on stage with so much anxiety, you have to understand. If you go on stage with so much anxiety, the audience will see your face.

First of all, that you're scared. Once the audience sees your face, that you're scared, no matter how good a joke you make, they will not laugh at it because they will be concerned for you. And then your show will go bad, then that will play on your mind, you will go into a spiral.

So I hung cut the call. I said, she's giving negativity. I give her money to uplift her, but she's pushing it down.

This dog.

And she thinks,

it will be visible on my face.

Please.

Professional comedian. I don't see anything on this face. I was born and raised in Andhra Pradesh. Is there anyone here from Andhra Pradesh?

Yes.

It was the worst experience of my life. Worst experience of my life. My mom and dad got married in Kashmir. They were living a great life in the early 90s. And my dad was a very good media poster. He used to earn 15,000 rupees.

At that time, there was a channel called DD Kashmir. He was a news reporter, a very well respected guy. And then there was a lot of militancy, a lot of separatism. You all know what happened. And then they had to leave the valley in early 90s. In 1991, my parents left Kashmir and went to Delhi. But they didn't feel like going there. Because you grew up in one place,

you have everything attached, your friends, your house, your homeland. They went back in 1996. In 1997, I was born. And in 1998, we were shot at home. And night and day, he had to leave for his family, for our safety. And he left and in search of a new private job,

he landed in Hyderabad. And my father's dream was to put me in the best school of Hyderabad. There was a school there, which was a Nizam time castle. He made it a school, HPS. And it was a very prestigious school. The fees there were Rs. 50,000 per semester.

We didn't have the means to go there. But my father worked hard for 8-10 years. He didn't take any sick leave. Complete grind. He got better offers in the company. He still stayed loyal.

He did his work very diligently. And finally when I was in 7th grade, he could afford and he put me in that school of his dreams. And I went to that school. And I went beaten up on the first day of school. Because I couldn't fit in there.

All the Telugu kids there have formed gangs by the 7th grade. Suddenly a new kid has come, I look different, I talk different. And dude, they just fucking bullied me for years in that school. And I just did not understand why. Maybe because I was just a different kid. I was the only white kid in the class.

I have been racist. Will anyone believe this? People say, no, you shouldn't do this with black people. You shouldn't do this with blacks, you shouldn't do it with whites either. Racism and discrimination is not about who's the darker skinned, it's about who's the most different kid, who's most unlike you. And I was that kid and for fucking years, the first whole week, they would make some paper out of rubber band and hit me in the eye. He would steal my snacks, he would tear my book.

If I had a crush, I would try to talk to him and humiliate him. What did I have? No self-confidence, nothing. It used to frighten me to go to that school. Once a week, my dad would say, I will come to pick you up from school. I swear, I used to feel ashamed.

That if a kid sees my dad's Maruti 800, he will insult me again the next day. So I used to tell my dad, Dad, park the car near the ice cream shop. I will have ice cream and come. I love the ice cream there.

My teeth are sensitive. But what did I tell my dad? Don't bring this car inside. There is no way this car will come. What would have tell my father? Don't bring this car inside. It's not worth it. What would I tell him? It was his dream.

I couldn't break his heart like that. And if I would, he would also beat me. I would get beaten here and there. I would tell my mother something. What would she do?

She would get stuck between me and my father. I would tell her, please don't tell my dad. Then she would have that guilt.

So I would hide it.

My shirt would be torn.

how was your day, son? I would say, hey!

Crazy. She would ask, how did your shirt tear? I said, we were playing cricket and I fell. So hard? I said, this is what happens in friends. You never had friends? She said, my blessings are with you.

I said, I never let my mother see the emotions on my face. The audience will see a fool. Before the second show, I was very nervous. I was trying to breathe. In the meantime, they shouted my name. Give it up for Samay Rehna. I was very nervous. I was trying to breathe. And then he shouted my name.

Give it up for Samay Rehna! I was like, yeah! People were like, yeah!

I was like, yeah! I know how he performed for an hour and a half. I'm so proud of myself. Nobody in that room could tell. Nobody could tell. Nobody could tell. I was just performing out of memory.

I knew where to pause, where to smile in which joke. Just fucking faking it. People were shouting, we are with you.

I said, no need. I am doing great.

The show was over. Thank you, guys. That was my time. Everyone was standing and shouting. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am doing great. I realized that my number was leaked by then. I was getting abusive comments, death threats, my parents' photos were being sent, someone was threatening to kill me wherever they saw me. It escalated like anything that evening. I had 20,000 comments on my last Instagram post. And now those people with flags have also come.

The ones who brought the flag on the back of the car.

I get scared of them. Because they don't even want to make an excel sheet for the next day.

I said, Balraj bhai, if I sit and watch all this, I will lose my mind. I have a US tour, I am switching off my phone. You monitor everything. Unless something crazy happens, don't tell me. And book a cab for the casino. I said, I have to get distracted. I have to get distracted at this time. I play poker. I like it. I said, book a cab. Book a cab.

Don't talk to me about this. He said, done, done, done. I switched off my phone. He booked a cab for the casino. A Punjabi driver came. We forgot that there are Indians everywhere in the world. We cancelled the cab and asked for another one. Again a Punjabi driver came.

Where can an Indian criminal go? I said, let's sit. We sat in the cab. As soon as we entered, he recognised us. He said, Sam's sit. We sat in the cab. As soon as we entered, he recognized us. He said, Samay bhaji?

I said, yes bhaji. He said, everything will be fine. I said, we won't talk about this.

He said, yes, yes.

He took us to the casino. There are two Indian watchmen outside. Inside, the restaurant is run by an Indian. The waiter is an Indian. The Indian is distributing the leaves. What's going on?

Christopher Columbus had his ass killed for 8 years. Where are the Indians? Sometimes he took the ship and went this way. Sometimes he took the ship and went this way. Where are the Indians? Look down. Your ship and went this way Sometimes he took the ship and went this way Where are the Indians? Look down, your ship is being run by Indians

I said, fuck it I sat down with the mask on There was a Gujarati dealer on the poker table He gave me two cards Bad cards I said, man, fuck.

He said, Samay? I said, yeah, yeah, bro. He said, what are you doing here? I said, just came to play some poker. He said, what's going on in the news? I said, leave it.

You play poker. Give me the cards. He said, Samay, this is going very wrong with you. You shift here. I said, you play, share the cards. He said, Samay, this has happened with every legend. This has happened with Chamkeela too.

I said, my brother, I shot him. I said, my brother, he was shot. Why are you pissing me off? Just keep quiet and share the leaves. He said, brother, listen to me for 2 minutes. I said, shut up, I don't want to listen to you.

So, a white girl was sitting here. She said, what happened?

He said, you don't know what happened.

He said, he has three FIRs on him. I only came to know about it then. I was like, what? Nonsense! I switched on my phone and opened Twitter. There was no signal. I ran outside. Balraj was running behind me. We saw him coming down from the casino.

Signal came. I got three FIRs on me overnight. In Maharashtra. In Jaipur. In Assam.

What did I do in Assam?

What did I do in Assam?

I asked, who did the FIR in Assam?

The CM of Assam did it.

Dude, when I saw that the CM did the FIR, my heart sank like anything.

they are making memes and trolling me. I felt like I am in a dream.

This is not the real world, I swear.

This is all a dream.

and I am unable to see if it's real or not. I am touching them to see, am I in a dream? What is happening? It is the worst state to be in. This is called psychosis. Some people can't come out of this state. I got so scared. I am trying to understand. I got so scared. Balraj saw me and asked me, are you okay? I said, I don't understand anything. I got so scared. Balraj looked at me and asked me, are you okay?

I said, I don't understand. He said, this too shall...

I said, shut up!

Are you a parrot? Just one thing, this too, shut up! I immediately realized that I am alive if he is with me.

I switched on the phone. Who should I talk to I'm a fool if he's with me.

I switched on the phone. Who should I talk to to feel a little at ease? I don't understand what's happening. I saw the phone and it was Tanmay Bhatt's missed call. So I called him back. First call to Tanmay Bhatt. I said, he must have learnt something from AIB.

He said, Samay, listen to me carefully. India is a country of contacts. Everything happens with contacts here. You just find out who your biggest contact is. If you hold a minister's leg and say, Sir, please help us, the media won't follow you.

This is your only chance. Otherwise, the media will be at your house tomorrow. The police will be at your house tomorrow. You have to act right now. Do you have anyone who has a good relationship with the ministers?

I said, do you have anyone? Beer by Seth. I don't have any contact. Deepak Kalal was messaging me. He was saying, don't worry brother, I am with you. I said, this is what I am afraid of. You don't give me a hand now.

Rakhi Sawant was fighting for me on the internet. They say, when bad times come, then you understand who your real friends are. Deepak Kalal and Rakhi you realise who your real friends are.

Deepak Kalal and Rakhi Sawant are my real friends. This is what I have earned in this life. I am doing something wrong.

I searched my phone for my biggest contact.

The most powerful contact I got was the head of the KBC team. When I went to KBC, he liked me a lot. So he gave me his number and said, if anything happens, let me know. I was so desperate, I messaged him first. Sir, can you please help me? Somewhere around this side. I remember I came to KBC and made I messaged him for the first time. Sir, can you please help me, sir? Somewhere around this side.

Do you remember? I came to KBC. I made Amitabh sir laugh a lot. Sir, please do something. Sir, please, sir, please, please, please. He said, what happened? I said, you don't know what happened? He said, I'm in Singapore, love. What's wrong?

I said, love? What's wrong? I said, love... Um...

Um... Um... Um...

Um... Um... Um... Um... I said, if I send this joke to him, Amitabh Bachchan will call me. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know the guts to send him that video. How would I send it? I said, sir, it's okay. I'm sure Mr. Amitabh will watch it. He's very active on Twitter. He liked me so much.

I left such a good impression on him. When he saw me on TV, in the news, he must have thought I have shot a big arrow. I have got some super power. They must have called everyone. Hey, Abhishek, Abhishek, he is a great guy.

Hey, Rekha, Jaya, Jaya, come here.

Jaya, come here. Come here. Hey, Aishwarya, come here. Come on, man.

He must have vomited blood.

He must have had a solar eclipse. Sorry, Amitabh. Oh, man. Oh man.

That night, the worst night of my life. No one is replying to my messages. Everyone is showing their backs. People have started sending messages. No one is replying. A few contacts are scolding me. Don't message us right now.

What have you done? I am feeling more scared. I have done two shows and I am lying my bed for 2-3 hours after doing 2 shows. In India, it's 2 in the afternoon. Here, all the media people have eaten rice. They have a kilo of Jules in their veins.

They are killing me with full energy. They are sucking TRP from me. I'm just lying on my bed. I don't feel like I'm just lying on my bed. You know, when you step on someone's feet at night, it feels like a jerk. I'm sitting here and it feels like a jerk.

I felt like my heart would stop beating at any moment. I was so scared just looking at YouTube lives of news channels. I saw a news. There's a Baba sitting with a reporter. He's saying, it's better to kill such people.

And the reporter said,

What have you said, sir? This is going on openly. I saw a news. Assam police reached the house of Pune. And I was shocked. Because I don't have a home in Pune.

I was like, who's house is this? So I zoomed in and saw the news. I used to study in a college in Pune. I used to live in a PG there. My Jio number is still linked to that.

Assam police must have found some is still linked to that address.

Assam police must have found some bad contacts and found that address. They must have thought that they will arrest him before the rest of the states. We will also get a name, Assam Police. Those 8 police officers took 2 flights and reached there. Some college student must be killing a college student in PG. Nikki must be scared. Bro, police is here. I swear. Assam police is here.

Where did you get the stuff from? Assam police is here. Kids must have urinated. Oh man, the police must have come this evening and said, Rekhela, this is Samarana's house, the kids must have gone crazy. You didn't tell me, where were we going in Samarana's house, right? The kids must have gone crazy. You didn't tell me. How could we have gone to Samarana's house? The police must have searched thoroughly.

They must have found the rolling paper, the bong, the light bulb which the kids crush and keep inside. The police must have opened the paper. Let's see what's inside.

There's marijuana in it? There are no jokes in it, right? That night was something else. I never thought I would fall so much in my mental health that I would have to take sleeping pills. But what could I do?

My therapist said, you have to sleep. You are watching news. Your time zone is bad. Everyone is active there. You sleep now. It's okay. You sleep. We'll see tomorrow.

I said, how can I sleep? I can't sleep. She said, go have melatonin 3mg. I get a sleeping pill. I bought it from somewhere. I took a box of melatonin 3mg. I took 3mg.

I got a shock from 3mg. While taking it, I took 32mg. It doesn't even divide by 3. It was a 64 mg box. I've already finished half of the bottle. And I tell you, Never try this at home.

It was fun. I was flying in the air. I keep flying.

I slept so well. air. I keep flying.

I slept so well. I slept like a baby. I slept for 16 hours. I woke up at 4 in the afternoon, fresh. And Balraj was snoring next to me. So I thought, if I slept so well,

everything would have de-escalated overnight. Otherwise, he would have woken me up by now.

Right?

I saw that later. The box of melatonin was over. I opened the news. The worst had happened. Maharashtra's Chief Minister had given his statement against us. The goons had come, the habitat was being demolished, the police came, around 20-30

police officers came. Apoorva is getting death threats, her family is getting death threats. Ranveer's mother has a clinic, the goons have entered there. She had to run from the back gate. She is getting death threats. Her family is worried. Everyone is messaging me,

Brother, what happened? What happened? And I was feeling so guilty that morning, looking at all this, that something that I have uploaded had caused all this. Everyone's life was going well. I took everything on myself.

And I felt so guilty. And then I saw one video that Balraj's wife sent to me and that broke me completely. That was the final nail in the coffin. In Habitat, Balraj's parents, who are in their 70s, they are not at fault. They just run that comedy club where we used to shoot.

Inside, they were at the feet of the young police officers begging them to let them go. They had done nothing wrong. I fucking broke down looking at that video and I was just crying.

I was just crying. I woke Balraj up. He saw he is stressed. He has received 20-30 calls. He is scared. Both of them are worried. What should we do? How to get out of this?

Fucking scared to death. What is happening? Cannot understand. And the worst thing that could happen in this moment was my mother's video call. How do I answer this call? What do I show my mother?

I am sitting here crying, broken. What will she go through? My mother knows nothing but love. She is the most innocent soul I have ever met. She is a pure, pure, pure hearted woman. When I went to KBC, she didn't even know how to broadcast messages.

She messaged each and every person at night. My son will come on TV tomorrow.

I could not pick up that call.

I cut the call, wiped my tears, and I said to him in the audio,

Hello!

He said, are you okay, son? I said, yes, mom. What will happen to me? He said, are you sure? I said, yes, mom what will happen to me? She said, are you sure? I said, yes mom, this happens all the time. She said, my blessings are with you.

I hung up the phone. In two seconds she called Balraj and I heard it on the phone. She said, son please take care of the time. This is not right at all. I felt so ashamed of myself at that time. That whom am I hiding from?

Why am I hiding? She sees through this bullshit. She must be crying there, her family must be taunting her, I'm crying here. She needs me right now, I need her right now. I just called her in video to show her my face and dude, she was a mess. She was shivering, my mother was crying seeing me, she was like, what happened her. Her eyes were swollen.

I felt so fucking shitty that I did this to her. And I'm crying, she's crying. We're both crying on the phone. Dad is sending a meme. I swear on my mom. We're crying.

Here, ting ting ting ting. I swear, I was crying. I was crying. I was crying. I was crying. I was crying.

I was crying. I was crying. He must be crying in his room. He must be pretending in front of me. Here, take this meme. I am fine. So I told my mom, Mom, please take care of dad. He is trying to be strong in front of me.

I understand him. Just like I was trying to be strong in front of you. He is also doing the same. Please take care of him. He must be crying. So my mom said such a funny thing.

She said, Son, The maturity you are looking for from your father, I have become old looking for this. He is also sending me memes, son. He didn't care. He is laughing in his vest. I said, I'll do it myself.

I said, Papa, what are you doing? My show is over, everything is over. You're not crying, you're laughing. He said, my home in Kashmir is gone, I didn't cry then. I said, who am I telling? Papa had no emotions, no tears, papa was just chill.

Everyone else was scared by then. Everyone was scared, my friends, even Tanmay bhai. For 3-4 days he was like, this happened to us too, then we did this, then that. On the 4th day, their ass got blown up. What happened?

The CM did this?

Supreme Court?

When there is a strong turbulence in a flight, everyone's eyes look at the air hostess. If the body language of the air hostess is fine, then everything is fine. The air hostess is sitting with her ass blown up. So who will you look at? How to feel calm?

When your anchor is nervous. You need someone when you are scared. Someone who is calm and you feel calm. So it was only my father at that time. So I told him everything. I spoke to him for one and a half hours.

And I told him, Papa, this happened, that happened. And my dad was such a rock in that moment. He said, why are you crying? The show has stopped. The show exists because of you. You don't exist because of the show.

He gave me so much perspective. He said, son, look, you have become so famous. I was like, what the hell is this? I was like, what the hell is this? I was like, what the hell is this? I was like, what the hell is this? I was like, what the hell is this? I was like, what the hell is this? I was like, what the hell is this? I asked him what he saw that was worse than this. He said, do you remember the report card of 10th? I said, Dad!

Dad, man!

How did he handle me for 1.5 hours at that time? Man, he made me feel so loved and cared and protected. I said, Dad, I love you so much. He said, okay, good night. Fair, fair. A father won't say, love you to his son.

Right? It's a little awkward with a father, whether you want to talk about love or not. With a mother, Oh my mother, Oh my sweet child,

Oh my sweet child,

will you eat something?

Have you ever done this to your father?

It's a little weird,

even after thinking about it. Right? Do you know why you have boys? The path you have taken, I am a man. Your father is standing at the finish line of this path.

This is the end of that road. You keep suppressing your emotions. You will grow up into a man who is emotionally stunted. Unable to express with his own children. With his own family. You will grow up into a man who is

emotionally stunted, unable to express with his own children, with his own son. I am telling you guys, I am telling you, your father loves you as much as your mother does. He just

doesn't know how to express. You are the educated ones, your father has worked hard for your life today, it's on you. I am telling you. Go and melt your father's... Melt his knees. You will see him.

Your father is an emotional person. And you will be so happy to find him. It's a fucking scratch card. Our father's heart. I am telling you. Go home today.

Call your father and say, Dad, say I love you. No, say, do it. No, do it 10 times.

Do it slowly.

It will be very awkward. It will be 4 days, 5 days. Scratch it, do it, do it. You'll get a coupon code. I'm telling you, man. Come close to your parents.

Not like beer biceps. From the top. I have nothing in this world other but friendship and parents. And there is something, God's hand is on me, my mother's prayers are with me, that the court case didn't come to an end. And I came back to India on my own terms after finishing my most successful US tour ever.

The return flight, we were nervous, Balraj and I, that now India will land and police will arrest us. Fuck it, we were drinking. Flight landed in Mumbai. We came out. We breathed heavily. We coughed.

We came out. Balraj went on duty for free. Out of habit, to buy more liquor. Is this the time to buy liquor? There must be a media police outside, and we're bringing two bottles. What will people think of us?

What will they think?

That we're drunkards? He said, the time is running by one get one. I said, what are you saying? Then he got me one. Get me one Roku. He went, I said, put it in the bag.

He went shopping. I looked far and far. No media, no police, no one. I said, this is very strange. These media people are dogs. They throw biscuits. No police, no one. I said, this is very strange. These media people are dogs.

They get biscuits thrown at them. Here, they have a whole box of Parle-G. How is this missing? So I told my lawyer, Sir, you said that coming in a hoodie, coming in a mask, we will get arrested here, but there is no one here.

He said, Samay, you are God's favorite child. You used to say that if something happens in the country, then your ass gets buried, the news changes. It's happened. As soon as you landed, it's happened in the country. I said, what happened?

He said, watch the news. I opened the news. The day we landed, the whole of Mumbai was after Kunal Kamra. He is God.

I am telling you, the earth is not spinning like this. He is God. Oh my God, I could not believe my stars. We have landed. What could be the odds that Kunal Kamra got the idea to put this video in his heart. He put the video he shot 4 months ago from Habitat.

The whole Shiv Sena got offended. They came to Habitat again. They are destroying it again. They are beating the same people who had plaster on their hands. They are beating up those people who were just beaten up by the police. They are beating them up.

And Balraj has no idea. He is buying alcohol there. This is his venue. He is doing small talk with the cashier there. Where are you from? From Bhopal.

Turn off the gas there.

He is doing all this. Turn off the gas, he's doing this over there.

Oh my God! Man, that Balraj brought 4 bottles with a smile. I have a bomb in my hand. Now how do I tell him that I have to drink all of this today? So I just held the phone in his hand and grabbed the bottles.

I said, buy one get one. which was outside the casino. So I took advantage of the situation. I said, Balraj, this too shall pass. Whatever happens, happens for the best.

I enjoyed it.

He didn't feel anything. That night, I slept peacefully. Balraj ate melatonin. I had to go to the police station in the morning. Finally, my summons had arrived. I had to go to give my statement. I went to the police station.

The media was there. The media saw me and turned around. They gave me a bad look. I went upstairs. The police came. Do you understand? I said, yes.

They said, come in. Come in. Come in. Sit inside. So I sat inside. In a small room, that was my investigation room. There was a three-star police officer.

He looked at me. He said, you'll find someone bigger than you. I said, is there anyone bigger than 3 stars? Am I going to have 5 stars now? I've come to GTA Vice City. Now Panzer-Vanzer is going to come.

Leave me alone.

I want to go home.

I said,, what do I do? I was a little scared, I was a little worried. What do I do? What do I do? In the meantime, I came. People were shouting,

Sir, sir, sir is coming, sir is coming, sir is coming. Everyone was shivering. I was also shivering. Who is coming? So, I, very, very big cop,

the biggest, one of the biggest cops of Mumbai, he came inside and said, You're Samay Raina, right?

I said, Yes, sir.

He said, Have a seat.

Close the door.

You closed the door and I got scared. I swear. I thought I'll get beaten up. I have sensitive skin. I'll leave a scar here. He said, Samay Raina?

I said, Yes, sir.

He said, My niece is a big fan of yours. Will you say hello?

I said, I'll become a man for you sir.

I said, hello!

Crazy, crazy.

How are you? I am so happy. Nice to talk to you. Such a sweet voice you have. You have gone to my head. What happened? I was so excited. I said, nice, nice.

Okay, take care of me. I will send you the members only one. Unreleased episode. Thank you, thank you. I gave him the phone. The police officer also enjoyed it. He was so sweet. He said,

Samay, listen to me carefully. I'll ask you a question. First answer this. We have to give this answer in the media. Do you apologize for your mistake or not? I said, sir, I didn't make any mistake.

I just didn't say anything. And what he said was an old joke. He didn't do anything wrong either. He said, I'm asking you again, will you say sorry or not? So I thought a lot about it.

Because it's a very difficult question, man. As a comedian, do I apologize or not? So I remembered a line by George Orwell. George Orwell was a great writer. He said, Every joke is a tiny revolution

and the revolution must never stop. But the Assam police also said this to me. We'll put you in jail, you assholes. So I thought about these two lines. And I said, saying sorry here makes sense. You can't bring revolution jokes in your society. If George Orwell was in Assam,

he would have said, every revolution is a tiny joke.

Isn't it?

You only fight when the fight is fair, when you have a chance of winning. You only fight when the fight is fair. When the fight is not fair, you fuck off from there. Kashmiri Pandit wisdom.

We were 5% of the Kashmir Pandits. If we had taken up arms like my parents did, we would have fought for our motherland. Everyone would have died. Today, videos would be made on our bravery. Then, someone would have become. If we had made videos on our bravery, then Akshay Kumar would have become a Kashmiri Pandit.

He would have.

They were the brave people of Kashmir who sacrificed themselves. What would have happened to them? They would have become legends in people's eyes. What would have happened to them? Nothing. Everyone would have died.

I am so glad all Kashmiri Pandits fled the valley overnight. Today, we are all still alive, still killing it, still fucking rocking it wherever we are. And that's what it is about sometimes. It's about survival. I apologized twice. The police cooperated. They said, you're a great guy.

Why did you call that beer biceps on the show? I said, he's a bad guy, sir. Mumbai police helped me a lot. I kept good optics. For two months, I just sat quietly in my house. I wrote jokes, I thought about it. I grew 10 times in this controversy.

And then I put my first tour in Europe and Australia. Dude, I sold 300,000 tickets in the whole tour. 300,000 tickets in the whole tour. 300,000 tickets. And expensive, expensive tickets. You know. The reason I even tell you this is that

this whole experience was an insane ride in my life and probably the most important one. I am so glad it happened. This has made me wiser, it has given me so much clarity about what I want in life. I have understood this game completely. This internet, this public perception, this fame, it is just a fucking game that makes you not be real. Because you

chase people, love people, validation people so that people like you and you earn money. I have earned money now. Now I have to do what I always wanted to do. Which was to be completely myself. Whether people like it or not, I don't care. And as far as India's Got Latent is concerned, people keep asking me if this show will come

back. I thought a lot about it, I swear to God. I don't think my show could have ended at a higher point than this. Let me rephrase that. I don't think my show could have ended at a higher point than this. and HOSA I will bring the show. Because it was fun to do a wild, wild fucking show. I'm gonna take away all your phones. And the first question I'm gonna ask the contestant is,

Would you rather

when my pen started writing let it be go and march no one wants this sister thief your brother is straight up death big plans bro or you won't survive faq rap don't stand

thank you so much I love you that was my time

thank you so much guys for coming

let the faq loud and rap the shot though we won't out rap with faq loc Let's go. Before I leave, I just want to say one thing. Whatever you're doing in life, this is the biggest learning I had. Whatever you're doing, 9 to 5, start-up, whatever.

Okay.

Don't do it from your heart. Use your brain. Detach and do it. It's... Don't do it from your heart, do it with your mind. Detach and do it. I don't understand, people chill with their friends all day and then say that we didn't do anything productive today. We'll make three PPTs and say what a productive day.

Are you stupid? It's the opposite.

The day you have to work, you have to work for the money, that's a day wasted. The day you spend time with friends, family, that is the productive day. I hope you realize that.

Take care. Love you.

Bye bye. Bye bye.

Good night.