SIDEMEN 100 MYSTERY GOALS BUT ONLY ONE ENDS THE VIDEO

Each one hides a prize, a challenge or a brutal punishment.Score and you keep what is inside.But no one is safe.Prizes can be stolen, swapped or destroyed.And if anyone hits the secret death goal, the video ends immediately.

Yeah, no, no, this is gonna be this gonna be a rotten one.I swear this is gonna be rotten.You might deserve this Oh, oh no, oh, oh no, oh no Thank you very much That's great.

That's great.So you can use that for a video or you can put in yeah, those are our things I'm stealing that shit.Oh What the gas is that?These are expensive.I'll keep that there.Who's going next?

Who's black?Probably two.Well, no, I'm not.Ignore, ignore, ignore the thing.

You go, you go, you go.I want to go for 21.

No, no.Oh, I don't think you make that, mate.Yeah, you miss every day.With my left foot.You miss everything.Oh my God.

Oh, 35.He's aged.He's aged.I've got two years left.Horrid age.Oh no, here we go.

Oh, he runs.That looks good.Toaster!

What's that?What is that?

Seafood toaster!Yes!Oi, what?Are you sick?You want a seafood toaster?Wait, that is quite cool.

That's sick!You can see how tanned the bit of bread's getting.Oh, I'm definitely 35.Why am I celebrating a toaster?Oh, can I have a go?No, no, it's blue next.

Get out of here, mate.I'm on my break.You're next, though.You're after.I'm going to put this in the back here.Ooh!

Yeah, that's my thing.

Don't tell Faith that.Dick off!Harry, on the back ones.He's going to have a bad day, Harry.The jogger sock combo is insane.I'm going 84.

84?Dick off, jogger sock.Oh, shit.

42!Okay!42!

It might be all right.He'll think I'm running and tell you in a second.Chance card.Oh, okay.Don't you touch my toaster.Oh, this is so good.

What is it?If you hit the crossbar, you can implement a rule for the hoe round.The hoe round?Oh man, I'm hitting this crossbar.I don't want it to be a hoe.All right.

Who thinks I'm going to hit it?Yeah.Only one.You will be safe from my rule if I hit it.

Thank you, bro.I appreciate you.I can believe you believed in me, mate.What you got for I wear number 25, oh, but if I miss that I'm gonna be mortified turn around no, no, that's not 25 right coming in, please Yeah!Tidy, tidy, tidy.I got my number, 25.

Is he the first one to hit the one he was going for?

No, Sam hit a 6 -7.Oh yeah, of course.Yeah, the real ballers get the ones that they want.Okay.Oh yeah, enjoy that mate.You wanted that.

You wanted that.Christmas tree!Thanks.Thank you so much.Yeah, I'm gonna steal that bro, I'm gonna steal that later on.Nah, lock that one up safe broski.

This is fucking crap.

What should I go for?Honestly, mate, at your ability, just score a goal, bro.

You just swing your leg.All right, prove us wrong.

Go for one.

Oh, he's done it.

Oh my god, he actually had it.Oh.Freeze.Freeze.I'm kind of scared.No, bro, you did it.

He's going to come out angry.in a second, watch.Costume?Rug?Oh, a custom rug.What?

You know what?Yeah, yeah.

It's pretty cool.Bit shiny.Oh, he's blinded it.He's gone blindfolded.Wait, has he missed the ball?40 days!

His age, his age.

His age.Yeah, revenge, bitch.

Oh, oh, oh, Simon.All you can fly with Airfloss.Oh, wow.All you can fly.All you can fly.All I can fly with subscriptions.

Yeah.

So you can just fly.But it does say 499 euros, which I don't think is all I can fly.I know what he's going to do.He's going to do outside the boot tank.How?From that angle?

No, I think I've actually pulled a muscle, lads.

Yeah, I've pulled my, uh, I've pulled my DCL as well.You pulled your Dominic Calvert -Lewin?Nah, my dick cruise ship.What are you going for?I fancy a 64 Zulane, you know.I don't know if I'm going to do it though.

64, 64, 64 Zulane.Aw, you're crap.What did I hit?You got nothing.No, nothing.That's already been taken.

Why is it still there?Nothing, nothing, nothing.Aren't you going to get a prize if you score though?So why did you get nothing?Because I didn't score.You didn't score?

100 goals.In all of these goals, he didn't score.Tobi, you're going to have to lay some hands on him at some point here, mate.So like, what?

How many goals have we had?We've had like 93 goals in there.That was my second go, and I'm left with a seafood toaster.That's pretty good, though.I don't think you should deserve that.

All right, here we go, lads.Are you going out your hands?I'm going to go for a little half volley.Okay.A smooth one.I'm going towards the 69.

Oh, no.

Oh, shit.

Get in one, please.No.Oh, it's missed.It's in.It's in.90.

90.You're celebrating that.You missed five goals.You're celebrating that.Oh, yes.Oh, thank you, sir.

Much appreciated.

You cannot be stolen from for the next three rounds.Three rounds.Yeah, hands off my stuff.He has nothing.Nothing to steal.Nothing yet to steal.

I'll tell you what, they call me the chance bandit, mate, every time.I'm more of a community chess kind of guy.He's more of a ****.

Oh, I don't know about that.I am going for 100.Yeah, go on.That's a good shout, you know.I'm going for 100.It's big enough.

You could miss this, though.It's big enough.Oh, ****.Oh, what a goal.What a goal.What a goal.

100.He was close.All I know is side knitting.It's what I do.Here he comes.

Oh, shit.He's going to die, see?That's good or bad?It's gold.Doesn't look good.It's got a skull on it.

It's gold.You are eliminated.

No more prizes.I've got to shoot with my left foot now until I score.Oh, that's a good time to go.Yeah, there's like 96.It's impossible to miss.

That is hard to do.44. Oh, great goal.45. That was close.Oh.Is that going to work on the grass?Oh, that's cool.

High end push scooter.High end push scooter.High end push scooter.Oh yeah.I hit an Ollie.Do a tail whip, do a tail whip.

Oh shit, he nearly died.Tail whip, tail whip.Oh, tail whip your nan.

Oh shit.

30.My age, my age.His age.Your age soon actually.But not yet.But it's coming, ain't it?

What if I don't make it there?Then they're not so smart, will you?

Not so smart, will you be?

Not so smart, will you?Please.Oh no.Oh no.What's this?A game.

Mini game for Mini Minter.Mini game for Mini Minter.Mini game two.Challenge a player to a hula stick relay.The winner gets to steal a present from the other.

Wow.He ain't picking me, is he?He's not picking me either.All right, pick Tobi.

Who do I want?He wants that toaster really, don't you?That's the best one so far.And he can't move.

He's looking at me.

What the fuck?He wants your tree, bro.There's no way you want the Christmas tree.He does, he wants it, bro.He thought you were safe.I thought you were safe.

Come on, bitch.Three, two, one, go.Yes, that's good.All right, yeah, yeah, yeah.Come, come, come.Oh, you got Simon to lead right now.

Ethan is catching up slightly.Wait, Ethan takes the lead maybe here.Ethan's got a new technique going on.Hang on a second.You're fine, you're fine, you're both fine.Not for the Jambulani.

Was there a touch at the end?I don't know who's won.I think I would say that Simon won that one.Give me a three!Hey, valiant effort.

Fucking shit game, that.Why'd you want the tree?Hey, Bez.Yeah, bro, take it.I'll tell you what you've done.You've just upset millions of children.

You've ruined Christmas.Well done, Scrooge.He's the Grinch.Fucking lanky beanpole slender man. I think you've made a blooming enemy there, mate.

You could be in trouble now.What was he going to do?He's got nothing.He's got a kick left foot.He's got nothing.Oh, shit!

Shit!37.I missed!Wait.Oh, you lucky boy.55!

Cursed statue.Cursed?You have to know you have to take it.You have to take it!Perfect person.Oh my God.

Yes!No, no, no.Oh shit.

I bought this.It's like a fork to give him ages ago.It's a fucking devil statue.It's really bad.It's really bad.No, it's gotta be in your square.

It's in the square, bro.It's gotta be in your square.It's in the square, bro.No, no, no.You can't put no curse near mine.It's in your box.

If it's under that, it's in.I'll let you rent my square if you want.You can put it in my square for now.You can put it in my square for now.That is funny.

You can rent it, bro.Don't be mean to him, he'll curse you and put another line.Here he is, pull dick off.His outfit is a hate crime.Is his name actually pull dick off yet?Yeah.

Yeah.What do you think?You bought a shirt and you don't know who it is. I thought it was like some Scandinavian or some fucking Slavic guy.Dick off, pull my dick off.Is that what his name is?Okay.

Yeah.Middle name Mike.Oh, I'm just going to, I might just knock this 26 into oblivion.

Go on then mate.He's going over everything, over everything.

Oh shit.56.56.Oh my chance cards.I don't really need them.Oh shit.

What is going on?Thank you very much.All right.Be a good one.Be a good one.Oh, this is great.

Find out what is in a goal.What number are you choosing?I want to find out what is in number 40.What's in it?What's in it?Oh!

That is such a...You're a shit ass.He's actually acting.Was that a good one or a bad one?Yeah, mate.Fucking sick.

What is it?He said...Yeah?He said...

What are you having to think about?

He said a big smelly dog shit is what he said.

Oh, a big smelly dog shit.Yeah, yeah.Lefty!Lefty!Thankfully, there's lots of goals.

He's so ugly.He didn't get anything.Nothing!Left foot still.Right, is it a big dog shit?

Big smelly dog shit, mate.Take it from him.Big smelly dog shit.Enjoy it.He's missed it.Oh, he's got it.

Oh, he's got it.

It's a dinosaur bow.

Oh.What the fuck?A real dinosaur bone!That's cool.

Why is it just like that?Oi Josh!

That's your mate!

Oi Steve!Adam!Phillip!It's the dinosaur bone.Oh yeah, I really wanted that.Can I have a look?

It's a dog toy.I've just got the biggest reaction.Like, everyone's got to touch it.Yeah, we didn't want that anyway.I didn't want a genuine dinosaur bone.How did you all know that I was fucking, why did you all go for 40?

We just said, as soon as you said you were finding out, we're just going to take it.It negates your power, because we can still shoot for it, can't we?Now, next time, don't tell us what goal you're going for.You shouted.Goal 40.

This one's for you.Oh, what's he going for?

I'm going to go for 21.69, oh, he wants to fucking up you up differently.Yeah, he wants to.Stupid car statue, stupid car statue, where's your dad?Oh, you got a card!

That could be a bad thing though.Yes, I want this card, thank you very much.The next goal you score goes to a player of your choice.Pick me again, I dare you.Also mate, I also do, I have nothing.It's like begging it, bro.

Ethan's lips are cursed.He cursed me, by the way.That ended up in my box.So he can't get it.Ethan has got nothing, he's been cursed, and he's got stolen from.

Yeah, you're complaining.Yeah, so don't worry, bro, I got you.You're getting called shit, bro.That's my guy right there.

We keep him down.That's my guy.

As soon as that fucking thing ended up in my box, I missed a car.It's all gone wrong for you.

You've got to go left foot again.

Yeah.Somewhere in that general area.

Yeah, good luck, mate.That's better, I like that.Yeah, he still misses.Ooh, don't mind that.Get through.Wait.

64.Okay.Cat tree.Cat tree.Cat tree.Yeah.

You should maybe stop running.Maybe.This is heavy.Yeah.You got it?Fucking cat tree, bruv.

Ow.Quite nice, you know.I'm going for 11.11.

Bougie animal stuff.

Missed.

I just won something.

His age when he was in his prime.No. 26.I was different.Oh no.Oh no.

Oh no.Oh no.

Forfeit time.Hey, you see the statue, bro?Wear clown shoes for five rounds.I'm telling you, I gave that to you at goodwill.At goodwill, I said, that still belongs to you.I said you can put it there because I'm a nice man.

And look what's happened.

No, 15.

Great age.Is it?

Are you sure?You know what, the curse.I just said it for fun.It's the devil speaking, don't worry.What is that?Oh, I've got a big gonga.

You've got to hit it.That's shit.That's shit.It's like a fucking diddly.It's the shittest gong ever.

That is awful.

Any assistance?That's on you now.Okay.All right.

Why have I got a gong?Fuck, that fucking devil, bro.Don't put that shit back in my books.I'm putting it in the middle.Bro, I don't play with that shit, bro.Oh, fuck it, it's got it in my mouth.

He hasn't been cursed since.I don't play with that shit.This is enough.Got me out here looking like a dickhead, bro.Ow, it's been drawing blood.Yeah, no wonder, bro.

This shit is actually fucking coagular.Yeah, I can fucking perch up there, bro.Hold that, bro.Got me looking like a dickhead.What shit is this, bro?You'll be mean to him, you'll piss him off even more.

I'm not worried about pissing him off, I'm worried about pissing God off, yeah?Go Si.We're going four, 51.

I have to give this to someone.Oh, I forgot about it.You have had it so hard.I know what he's gonna do.So, I'm gonna give it to Josh.I'm not gonna look.

That hand's coming out, man.That's an outstretched hand.I'm not giving it to you.Harry can have it.I'm gonna get something.You wanted it, right?

I'd love this.Yeah, whatever it is.Oh no, that's a man.That's a human man.What a man.

He's gonna abuse you for a round.

I tried.You're fucking shit.You're fucking shit.You're fucking shit.You're fucking shit.You're fucking shit.

Who's the wanker in the blue?

Who's the wanker in the blue?Who's the wanker?Who's the wanker?Who's the wanker in the blue?19.They're fucking dick, dick off.

Fucking dick, take the off off mate.Chance card, chance card.

Guys, we're going back to school.Oh, that's good though.Toby.Wear school shoes for the next three rounds.99 cold.Why is that three rounds and why is mine five?

Because you got the gold one.What the fucking hell is that?What the fucking hell is that?What the fucking, what the fucking, what the fucking hell is that?Harry mate, it's your go.Fucking drink your water you dirty little bitch.

Okay.Fucking dick.Oh no, I scuffed it.What the fucking hell was that?

What the fucking hell was that?

You have won 1966 World Cup tickets.

Oh, that's sick though.They ain't a fucking out of date.They ain't a fucking out of date.I'm going to use the clown shoes to get it in one.Here we go clown.Oh shit.

Oh no.Yes, yes.He's gone.32.It's in 32 across the line.Is it in?

Yes.Get in.Minigame time.Thank you.You're welcome.Challenge a player to a game of ping pong ball egg cup.

The winner may steal one presentup to the amount you win by.Who's he going for?I'm going to target Tobe Jizzle here.I want the cat thing, but for my sausage dogs.Three, two, one.

Oh God.

Oh, you chose the wrong person.He's getting more and more annoyed.Look at Bez.Come on, Bez.Let's get it.The comeback's on.

Only four gifts.

Generational comeback.

Go on, Bez.He's got all your gifts, man.It's over.

I'm telling you, the card statue's ruined my day.What have you got for me?A cuddle.Three cards in a row.Two have been forfeits.One's been a crap minigame.

I've got fucking silly shoes on.

Was that in or not?Yeah, I'm not going to give you that one, mate.Sorry, sorry.

Who said you have a fucking choice?96.73.Who's the wanker in the blue?Who's the wanker in the blue?Who's the wanker?

Who's the wanker?Who's the wanker in the blue?By the way, he highlights his hair, by the way.Look, look, he highlights his hair, look.Oh my God, mate, you're scaring me.I'm just fucking naturally blonde.

Fucking cheeky little twat.Taxidermy deer head.And it's also my girlfriend.Can you just put it in the white one there?We're going to test out the 99 curl.You got to read.

I want to see this bend in, by the way.

Ooh, it curls nice.Nearly done, man.Yeah, Harry, if you ever want to volley one, you're welcome to.I'm actually, I'm going to do that.I'm going to crunch this thing.Okay.

Oh no, it's going to go 94.It's a reverence.It's a fucking reverence.

Oh my God.Thank you so much.I wonder who's stealing my shit today.Oh my gosh.He's got away with it though.16.

His age.Bird.This is a chance to raise your aura.Put this glove on.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's the issue with people these days.He's trying to turn it into social media.Oh, struck well for a change.

52.For a change.For a change.For a surfboard.Surfboard.Surfboard.

Surfboard.No, I don't know what you're going to do with it.What the fuck?You ungrateful swine.Has he missed?Guys, lucky guy.

Oh, lucky guy.74.Lucky, lucky man.Yes!

Come on, come on, please.We have placed all your presents in this little golden goal.Everyone will get a shot at scoring in it.If they score, they get all your presents.

What if we all put it in the golden goal?

How is this not a golden, like, forfeit?He's going to do a tailwhip.

Has it got proper suspension?Yes.Yeah, but I can't get enough.Oh, you can do it.Give me a good go.You can do that.

Can the speed help?No, you can compress that.You get one flick.Do a step over.That looks so funny.

Toby, I'm just saying, right.Oh, that's horror.Remember when I got to choose someone to get a present?Yeah.And I chose you.I'm going to try and score.

You're going to two foot it?No, but remember when I like...You got me abused for it.No, no, no, but we both agree that I tried something nice.You did, you did.I don't think I'm going to score, but I will go for it.

Yeah.Oh, she was coming in.That's the technique -y though.I only kick with one foot, don't I?All right, Bez, the thing is...

I just don't see this working, but fair enough.I'm not worried about you, so I'm not going to kick.you a heartfelt speech.

I've had a bad day today.

I know, you're not getting this.It'll go right.Okay.Just get it in, bro, please.You have some great...Oh!

That's mine!Are you going to use it?Oh, that's kind of cold.

I deserve this.

I want to see you.You're going to knuckle it, yeah?

They're spinny, aren't they?I'm going to knuckle it.Knuckle it, yeah?Ahem!Oh, Tobi's going.Toe poke.

Toe poke?Toe poke.Has that gone in one?Has he got anything?

This fucking guy.By the way, he's missed more goals than me.Clown shoes, left foot.

First, do something!You've got all your presents.Tobi, you've touched it, it started raining straight away.Put it back.It was already raining.No, it started as soon as you touched it.

Right, I'm going to go for...I feel like no one's really gone for the 78 to 80 range.I'm going to go for that.Okay.Dick Cobb.50 now, okay.

You didn't go with what you said at all.That's insane.Yeah, I just tried to kick it hard.Hey, I'm going to get my present first.I'm so convinced this is something to sing.Oh!

Oh!You got the Omni!Yes!Harry, you got the Omni!We played!Yes!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!Oh, we're best friends!Yes!Oh, thank you so much!We can play online!Yes!

Right, I'm not going to lie, guys.The fact they're so happy means we probably could ruin their day.Oh, you know what?I started slow.Every person I've got has been a banger.What is the second round of him in clown shoes or something?

No, this is the third time.

I think it's the second.Two more.No, this is the third.There's two more after this, okay?What, it's your first round in clown shoes?Did he go through?

Wait, wait, wait.Nothing.Who's laughing now?What is it for?rounds?Why?

Why is it five rounds?Yours are three.What?I'm going to cry.

Go on Josh.Hit a goal.He's gone.He's gone.He's missed.65.

Oh no.

Oh, mini game.Oh, he's got a mini game.Josh, you know what to do.Balloon mini game.I pick one of you.You blow up a balloon and you release it.

I've got to try and catch it.If I catch it, I still get a present.

Wait, do you not tie it up?

No, you just have to let go.Oh, good luck, mate.I know.Give him a countdown.Three, two, one.

Three, two, one.What a fun game.One more, one more, one more.Last go.Ready?Harry's the man.

He looks like a pro right now.Ready?Yeah, yeah.Knuckle that, knuckle that.I need to see the sweetest knuckle.You're the saddest guy on planet earth.

Saddest guy ever.We were like ready for that.I'll tell you what actually, just cut the whole bit.You took it out of the cardboard for that.

Oh, is that a mini fridge?Mini fridge.Oh wow.Oh, there's drinks in it.Thank you very much.Did you know mini fridge is one of the largest causes of house fires?

Would you allow me a little ride on the Jambalani?If I strike it through, if I strike it on the valve.If you give me all your presents.Right, okay.

I'm kicking up.I hope this doesn't bounce.

I hope he does this and kicks it into his own face.Oh Jesus.This could work.It could.It has worked.

Please stop.Well done.Yeah.Okay.

Zero.Oh, he's come straight away.

I'll be honest.

I will be honest.He needs it.You've got them dirty feet.

No, not like that.No, no, no.Whoa, what do you mean?My mate, someone told me.Someone told me.My mate, my mate, my mate.

My mate, my mate.

Harry.

Go on, mate.

Really?

This is going to be my first ever knuckle ball.Come on, Porto.Dick off.Oh, shit.No knuckle.Too fat ladies.

Oh, no.

He's got another card bro.Okay.Okay.Thank you, sir.Oh, I like your shoes by the way.Oh yeah, yeah.

Deflate the ball of a shooter of your choice.Ooh, okay.What was it?Can we know?Don't you worry about it just yet.I heard of your choice at the end.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.So you don't have to tell us.Yeah.You're safe though.Cause you let me use the Jabulani.So don't worry.

Here comes the boom.38.Is that your last go in the clown shoes?You've got one more clown go, right?

Is that a check?No, you fucking bastard.A thousand pound steam voucher.Oh yeah.

Gaming.Gaming.I love gaming.That's really good.That's a good gift.Oh, that's my go, isn't it?

Fucking hell, yeah.Go on, yo, mine too.Fuck yeah.Josh.Yeah.Before you go.

Oh, bring me that ball.Bring me that ball.Oh my God.Wait, what?You get to flatten it.Oh.

This was his chance card.

Oh, he gets to deflate someone's ball.Oh, you're making it an egg!You're egging it, you're egging it.You're gonna egg it in.So what are you doing to my ball?

Can someone get on my back just to make it go down quicker?Can someone get on my back just to make it go down quicker?So, so, am I using that now?

Fair, that is fucked.

I'm just saying you can balance it.That is fucked.And roll it.

I don't know what he thinks is gonna happen.I've only sort of saved it for those less goals left.

Maybe here's good.Go on then.Successful sabotage!

Yeah!If you don't cremate this ball this time.I need to see your sweet knuckle ball, bro.Oh, yeah.Good goal.Wait, there's no number in it.

Why is that there?You big bamboo.

Tobi, first kick back in regular boots.What can he do?And he's injured.Oh, a curly whirly.

72.Oh, it's small.It's like squash.What is that?Octopus resin lamp.Octopus what?

Oh, it's an octopus in resin.Is it a real octopus?Resin?No, it's like, it's an actual octopus in a piece of epoxy.Oh, that's pretty cool.So it's dead.

Can we see it?

Yeah, let's have a little look at this thing.Yeah, that's that TikTok.I did think it was better than that.Oh, nah.

Nah, have you got that there?I can't wait to swap.something.I've never seen a cut daisy in my life.

You hurt yourself.Yeah, I hit the floor.He's got a card again, by the way.Chance card.Thank you.He's got another card.

This guy.Always chance cards.Oh, you little card man. I used to dream of times like this.Steal a present.Steal a present.

No, not my octopus resin.

No, not my steam games.Right.What do I legitimately want here?Dinosaur bone, want it.Oh, he wants the dinosaur bone.He actually was really gassed by it.

Fucking surfboard, want it.He wants surfboard and dinosaur bone.The £1 ,000 steamer I don't really play games.The Deval, I don't really want it.Do I take the surfboard or the toaster?There's way better options in there.

Okay, wait, pick a hand.What's way better options?Pick a hand.I'll go right hand.Surfboard.I'm taking this, man.

It's cool.One day I'll be able to surf this thing.Maybe not today, but someday.Right, your last go in your clown shoes, mate.Yippee!Go take it easy, bro.

Get the one, or the two.I did that before and very nearly missed, mate.Go on, do it.He gets one.Wow.He actually - Oh, that's not bad.

Oh, 16!16!Please, something good.Please, something good.Oh, oh, oh.Oh, shit.

I yearn for the day I get a tangible object.

That is there, yeah.

He's just got a grand, by the way.

Yeah.He's upset about it.You don't have to press it.Oh, this could be dark.Envelope, right?People would kill to own a pair of clown shoes.

He looks, he looks, he's going to press it.What is it?Say some really nice things about me.You are honestly the strongest, most handsome man I've ever seen in my life.

You have fantastic calves that I am super envious of.

Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.You know what?People say that your legs, like you skipped leg day, but I disagree.Fuck off.

Go on.Your vibe's been all right today.Yeah.yeah, yeah.Considering the bad day you've had, you're keeping the spirits high.Oh.

What does that mean?

All this shit just blows up.Hasn't got any shit anyway.Maybe we fucked ourselves up.Oh no.I don't mind this though.He still has nothing tangible.

And they're so far away.What does your card say?

Press me dramatically.Oh, okay.I gave you a moment, but they're fucking, they're in a different postcode.I need your band bro.

Should we carry on whilst he's doing that?Who's goes next?

Why has he forgotten how to walk?63!

What's up?

Lego brick album.I don't know if you're a fan, but.

Kendrick.What is it?It's a Lego brick album.That might be the shittest one so far.I was kind of happy about this.All right, Simon, I won't give you money.

No, don't hit the fucking trombone, please.Nah, because it gives an old guy the fucking money.He actually might stack it.It would be hilarious.I can't go for them.Don't go for them.

Just go for a goal.Don't go for them, please.Oh, strike.87!I like that, I like that, I like that.87!

Please.Oh, once card!Thank you.Is it a dance battle?You know what?Fuck it.

Oh, it says you must donate one of your presence.Give me from the tree.Ethan.Look, I stole it from you.I'm very sorry, but you can have it back.

Thank you guys.Are you stupid?Please tell me that was a camera lie.79!Is that a gold chain?What?

Stupidly big chain.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.You gotta wear it.Please do the honours.Come on.Nice.

Well, good news.

You're done with them and you got a present.Did I?

Yeah.Wait, who took a go for me?

No, no, no, no, no.

Well, you gave me the tree back.

You got a donation, yeah.You're welcome.It's right in here, this blue card.You are welcome.

It's your go as well.Thank you so much.Can I put my boot on?I'm expecting a little bit naked though, my boy.There you go.

Oh, Toby.

Oh.

It's glistening.Yeah.Bro, I'll swap you your go for my go.So I take your kick and you can have my next kick.Oh, a trade -off has been offered.You still get your present.

Whatever I put it in now, you get.Sure.All right.This is for Ethan, right?Oh, that's six.I loved what it did there.

36 for Bazinga.Yeah.

Oh no, no, no, no, no.Forfeit.Oh no.Oh no.This day, here today.It's not for me, it's for you.

No, no, no.Oh no.It's not that bad.No?You must spin around the ball five times before shooting.Oh, that's okay.

That's fine, that's fine.And that's for your goal as well.so if he misses then.Yeah, it is. I feel like we're neglecting the close one.Do it.Yeah, do it then.

Try him then.If you're bad.Yeah, you're right, he is bad.Ooh, 39.He didn't mean to do that, did he?Lucky boy.

Oh, what's that?Lollipops.Toad drizzle.Are they sweets?Yeah, lollies.Tongue painter lollies.

Oh, thank you so much.He's actually sucking lolly already in front of him.Okay, I don't love that.I'm going to walk off.Thank you, sir.You bringing some for the boys?

Mate, these are for sharing today.Anyone want a lollipop?I'll have a lollipop.I think they paint their tongue, right?Yeah, I think so.Oh, why is it sour?

Go on, Zerkaa.What's he doing?Oh, he struck that.

Oh, that kind of moves.That was a great goal.That's the best kick I've ever seen you do.48.Oh.Wait, no, it's a video.

Oh, it's a video.Bring it over to us.Bring it.

Who's that?Who is it?It's Simon Kaguanyara here in Uganda.I've got a secret message.And whoever receives this present, there's a question for you.Why are you gay?

So this is technically my go.Does he spin around for this?It's up to you.You've got to spin around for my go.

One, two, three.Two.I was on my third already.One.

Two.Three.Two.

One.Kick it.Fuck.Oh yeah.Best kick of the day.62.

Fuck.

Oh my God.Oh my God.Oh my God.Please.Please.Please.

Please.Please.Please.Please.you're gonna be hit with another like death card.You've got a chance card.

Chance card.

Simon, you have been rewarded with skip a go token.Ethan, who do you think?Who's been the cruelest to me?You've actually been quite cruel to me.You smashed his tree.Smashed my tree up, then you did the handshake thing instead of giving it to him.

He's cursed me.You cursed you.Tote Dizzle for the devil.

Yeah.Okay.Which means it's Harry's go.I'm actively against the devil.I'm having my coffee.

I feel electric.Oh my God.

He's going.He's going.He's going.He's going.

Here it comes.

Oh no. 95.Yay.That went up first.I was going for that kind of direction.This is about to be the best one yet.This is the best one yet.

That's sick.Oh, that is sick.Minion sculpture.Oh, mate.Thank you so much.Oh, wow.

Oh, this is actually like dangerous.Good God.That is a proper U thing.Mate, this is a weapon.It looks quite unassuming.Why does it have tits?

Little tetanus jobby, that one.Do you like that?I do.Nowhere to put it in the gaffer, unfortunately.Si, where do you want it?49.

49?Yeah, I want you to dip it over 34.

All right.Here it comes.You know what?That was bold.

It was a good effort.

I like that.34.34 plays.World Cup.World Cup.World Cup.

That's sick.Thanks, bro.

Izurka, hit 13.Oh, that is a good one.because behind 13 is nothing.Okay.Okay.Go for nine.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

No.I'm in the audio shed.So I said go for nine.Nine is on the floor.Oh, he said no.Nine.

You ready?

Unlucky number 13.What are you going for that?Yeah.Oh no.It's another game.What a game.

Oh my God, your face is blue.You're going blue.What's happening to you?You're going blue.Jesus Christ.Help.

Help.Help.Help.Help.

It's like Violet Beauregard.You're turning Violet Violet.What do I do?What do I do?So boys, I am not involved in this mini game.Wow.

So I choose two people.Okay.Now who do I want to see go at each other?Do you, okay.You know what?I have been mean to you.

Oh, thanks.Yeah.Do you want to be involved?Because the winner steals.

I'm just trying to get by, mate.So you don't have me in it?You don't really have much to lose.You might as well do it.Yeah, yeah.I'm giving you a chance.

Yeah, yeah.And who do you want to go against?I'll go against...

The Cat Tower for your goal.

Yeah, I'll go Cat Tower again, time jizzle.

I'm wasting this chance on the Cat Tower.a fucking cat tower for a sausage dog.

There's a reference.Oh shit.No.Yeah.

He's going to win anyway.Okay.You ready?One handed.Yeah.One handed.

Three, two, one go.Carry on.Carry on.Okay.Watch Harry's foot then.You know what?

You're allowed two hands.Yeah, two hands.I'm inside.Ethan gets it.What it's gonna be, yeah.He looks like a goblin.

I'd argue you can't let go of it.I think that kind of negates the game.He's stolen the river.Okay, okay.He's had a bad day, Harry.Tobi's go.

Mask your blue.

Yeah.Try and water yourself down.I have.

I'm panicking now, guys.

Guys, I'm panicking.I feel like we should do something cool.How do you want me to set it up?

I don't know.What if I do like a, what if I do like a cool dude, like...

Like that.

And then I just do a scissor kick.You ready?Yeah.Oh.

Oh.Oh, it's the F. Oh, that's gonna go in.No.The F poop.Yes.22.

What the fuck is that?

What is that?You got a muffin.Is that cake?Cake?

A .I.Pear.Oh, no.Oh, that's crap.Oh, that is shit.

Is it good?It's a gerbil.It's a gerbil.Oh, shit.It's Shindler's mate.So, what have you got?

Yeah, it is.Go on, Harry.What do you mean?Talk to us.What is that?

I don't know.It's Joseph Gerbil.It's an AI pet.Oh, shit.Oi, that's great.89.

He typewrited that really high.89.It's an AI pet.Did you turn it on anywhere?Oh my God.Do you stop?

Yeah, I'm coming.Oh, does it start?Well, he's not pushing.He's in mini moto.When it first came out, I was very excited that I saw the pace it was coming at me.No, but I think it's still in the grass.

Oh, it's moving.Cool.Yeah, thank you, mate.All right, you got to do a lap before your next go.

Okay.Going for the miniature ones.

Oh shit, I missed.What are you on for here?

I was trying to do a lap.one.

No, it's not the fucking owl again, is it?Oh my God, he's got another one.

Why is he staring at it?Stop staring at it.Take the envelope.

Why is Ethan drooling?What's going on right now?

Right.Pick a sideman to go in goal.You have two penalties to score.For each they save, they may take a present off of you.Off target equals a save.I'm going to put just so I can go.

That's a smart option, yeah.You sure you don't want me, Ethan?Fuck no.

You sure you don't want me?Because if I save one, then we're boys.I got you to rev it.I just don't want to lose anything.But maybe I can persuade one of the dads or dads -to -be to take it off my hands.That could be my play, actually.

I think that's what I'm going to try.Wee!

You pick the man with one wrist.

There is almost zero chance.

He's back.Yeah.I think he's out of juice.Just so you know.Mate, what's all the smoke coming off the floor?Oh my God.

That's cool, isn't it?Look behind you, bro.It's water evaporating off the track.I thought it was a smoke from the fucking hot thing, but it's not because it's here as well.

Come on, Harry.Simon, Tobi, any ideas?I'll tell you when he's not looking.

okay so if you know me you know where i'm putting it right are we doing a whistle ready yeah whistle

Oh my God.

Oh my God, I was so close.I tried to read it.You started running that way, so I had to adjust.Had to adjust?You kicked it right at him.No, cause I saw him start going to the corner.

Ah, right.And you went like that?Yeah.Yeah.What would he do second time?That's the question on everyone's lips.

Three, two, whistle.I wanted to hit the GoPro.

I wanted to hit the GoPro.Where is it?

That would have been a cool moment.

We just had to hit the target.

No, I wanted to hit the GoPro though.That's how I was doing it.I didn't expect it.Where's he aiming it?18.Go on, big man.

He's hitting it through that gap, by the way.53.53!

Can I say, by the way, he's had some nice goals today.

He's kicking properly.

Oh no!

You got a card?

Chance card!I bet you're good.Oh!Oh no.Orchestrate a fair trade between you and me. and of a player.

All right, mate.I give you my thousand pound steam voucher for the Revy bag.That's not a fair trade.But you get content out of it, which equals more pounds.

Does that mean that I'm...You choose the trade and I guess the four of us vote if it's fair.Yeah, okay.What is fair?Surely you want the mini bike for baby Bobby or whatever his name is.

Cat tree for the cat cats.Yeah.

Genuinely, all of Harry's presents for the Revy.

Cat tree for the incoming child.What about cat tree for a gong?What am I going to do?Is that a bad trade?That's a shit trade.That's a shit trade.

Old dog shit trade.What about throwing a scooter in the rug and you got a deal?Do a memey one.

I reckon.A meme one?Do a meme one, yeah, because we ain't got all day, mate, to be honest with you.Dinosaur bone for your World Cup tickets.I don't mind that.Yeah, it's okay.

Do I get a say in this or not?How do you feel about it?Yeah, if you say it's not fair, I know it's fine.This is a fair trade.You know what, mate?No deal.

Okay.Sorry.Shooter for your minion, man.Yeah.I'll give you that one.He's going to set us off like a rocket, call him Elon Musk.

He's long.Did he go through it?No, it went top of seven into 29.I'm a big fan of that though.29.

Oh no.Scream.Scream.I get it.You scream.

Scream.Ah, Supreme.Thank you.The Supremes?That's kind of far, you know.Supreme mask.

Oh my God.Oh, when Ethan comes back, you can scare him.Oh, you got a ghost face.It's Supreme.Oh.Oh, is it?

Oh.What, a Supreme ghost face?Surely you want that, Zerkaa.Oh, that's kind of cool.

Surely you want that, Zerkaa.Oh, that is pretty cool.

Actually quite horrifying as well.Oh, shit.Do you want the label off it or no?You're gonna keep on with Supreme.Yeah, go on.

It's Supreme.

Oh, well.Yeah, but you couldn't even see the Supreme.Oh, yeah.Yeah, that looks sick.That actually looks sick.It's kind of gangster.

That's a Halloween job.That's actually really cool.Yeah.Yeah.If I can steal Toby's gold chain now.Yeah.

Can I go guys?I don't know.Can you measure?Oh no.Oh no.

Yeah.Oh my God.Oh no.That's actually really cool.And Toby missed all the gold.by the way.

Would you mind chucking me this?I'm going to hit first time.Chuck it to you in what way?Like really high and I'll hit a first time volley.Right, are you boys ready?He's going to hit it first time.

He's going to volley it.Yeah, I'm going to volley it.Really high.Yeah.

Waterlogged pitcher.Oh Jesus.Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.You're in.

You'll score.No, it stopped.

No.Harry missed all the goals.What a silly waste of time that was.Hey, I won a knuckleball in 78.Oh shit, what a strike.Oh, yeah.

78!Would you like some chickens with that dipper, mate?Did you see that?He was doing it, wasn't he?He was doing it, yeah.Uh -oh.

Oh, for fuck's sake.Why would you go for that one?Yeah!Yeah.Oh, okay.Okay, thank you very much.

All right.What, what have you got?You don't have to tell us.Whoever receives this card can take a shot from wherever they choose.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it.I'll do it.

I'll do it.I'll do it He's different today.What happened to you Josh?Who's this?What do you mean?Who's in them legs?

Someone playing dress up.It's because his wrist has been injured.He's hiding it.He's hiding it.He's hiding it.Why are you scared of me?

Because you're behind your back.What's going on?Game boy emulator.Game boy emulator.Look at the grin on his face.That's pretty, is it like a nice one or is it a naff one?

I don't know, we'll have to find out, won't we?It looks like a TikTok shop, Joby.Oh, there we go.Oh yeah.Pretty cool.Yeah, it's a TikTok shop.

It's got an SD card in it.Yeah, it'll have like loads of games.

Oh, it's quite hefty.Oh no, that's pretty cool.The ghost is waiting.He's waiting for a go.96, 96,

96. You have to like say a catch line while you do it as well.Kiss your dead grandfather's batty crease, rude boy.Where's 96?I can't see numbers.Stand it that way.Remember, I hit 97 though, just be careful.

This could go in 97, isn't it?Oh, it's going in97. Yeah, it's going97. Great goal.Great goal.One off.

Yeah, but Josh just hit it.What?Why are the numbers there?

Josh just hit it, just now.I did just say that.He did say it out loud.They were in the process of taking it and then you had to go.The number's there.

Oh, but the number's there.Go again, go again.Actually go again.Sure, always the fucking, oh yeah, go have another go, mate.Yeah, have a go.Yeah, have a go, mate, yeah.

Take more gifts, mate, yeah.Tobi, little one for you, yeah?One for me?There's it in it.Oh yeah.He'll make it.

Subject 49.Oh, well done then.49.49.

Right, old Rodger.Rub your fucking bum.

With no control.No.Guys, I'm feeling very tugging right now.What's going on?What's happening?You, then you, then KSI.

Thank you.Oh, what is this?For the next three shots, you need to use these three balls.I don't mind that.I'm screwed.

That's going to be a pass, Joby, right?Oh, that's fucked.I think you'll be able to get it.You'll get it in a close one.You'll get it in a close one.All right, Josh.

I know, Tobi.Come, come, come, come.Yeah, yeah, you come with me.We're going to do a random bicycle kick in that general direction.So you've just got to set me up.You've got to throw it up in the air and I'm going to bias you.

Are you ready, guys?Welcome to the Sidemen have talent.My teammate here is going to do a bicycle kick.Are you sure?Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure.No hamstring.

No hamstring.All right, you ready?No hamstring basketball kick.Never been seen before.

He's going to get up hobbling, isn't he?

Yeah.This is going to fucking hurt.It's missed everything.I can't control that.You deserve something for that, mate.You did.

You did.You did.That was really cool, actually.Well done.Oi, Harry, go.Oi, Dikov.

Go on, Dikov.Go on, Dikov.He's getting abuse from all sides here.

Yeah, just a tiny one in the six.A tiny one.

I like that, I like that.Who are you shushing?I don't know.Anyone can get it.Why is he shushing over here, Dicko?What's that?

Oh, that's cool though.This looks promising.2002 original Predators.Oh, for a giant by the looks of it.

That's pretty cool.Thank you, sir.What size are they?Fucking massive.Let me see, let me see, one sec. 11 and a half, please.

10 .5, 10 .5, 10 .5.

You don't wear them.11 and a half.Yes!

You don't wear them.You don't wear them.These are sick.No, no, don't wear them.I hate them.

Pretty cool, mate.It's a shame they don't fit you.No. 11 and a half, what, US?No, UK.You know, he ran towards me, he went, 2 ,000, and I thought it was going to be like... 2 ,000 pounds.Yeah.

Hey, guys.

I'm taking it there.Yes!Sorry!Sorry!It's gonna be number one.On the mains, I'm taking it down.

Wait, Bez!One or two?One or two, though.One!

Okay.Low key, I can twos the bank.Twos better.Sorry.One!Big fan of that.

He's got a pocket though.Oh, what's that?What is it?What is it?Imagine it's just shit.

Chocolate tennis balls.What is it?Choccy tennis balls.Oh, that's all right.

Nah, I'm over chocolate.Is that a tin of chocolate?What the fuck is chocolate tennis balls?So number two is going to cause serious problems, I think.Get one of the 80s, mate.All the 80s have been left for nothing.

Well, there's been bad ones out over here.

If he doesn't get these, then nine.

What?Strike again?No!Oh no!You're going to hold that for me.All right.

Ball one.Guys, watch my balls.Big funniest strikes.Are you ready?Are we ready?84, 85, 86.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.Those are my favourite numbers.Yeah.

That's actually great.

If it doesn't bounce forward, he could be fucked here.Oh, yeah.Stop!

That's heartbreak, man.Deserved better.

I like the look though.It's quite gangster.

Thank you.

Who's next?That's terrible.Tobi.

Yeah, I think you're gonna let go.

Tobi, get on that, mate.Thanks.Mid -air, I clocked this could go bad if it bounces.Yeah.

Ooh, strike.Oh, oh, oh.Into 92.Class of 92, mate.And you know what, that was class.Thank you, sir.

Thank you.Oh!Wait, what's this?Chance card!Chance card.I'm tired of these cards.

For the next shot, you have to use this oversized ball.I think I should aim for two.What do you want?

Can I use the jabalani please?You've got to make sure you use it well though.

I want to try.Last time you said you was going to knuckle it and you just didn't.I'm trying my best, but it's hard.Just hit it properly though.

Do I like stop my follow through?Yeah.

Watch his knuckle ball, bro.

Don't say horror.I tried to stop my foot but then the ball didn't go very far.What is going on?Oh God.He'd like this.What's going on?

Oh, that's cool.Mate, thank you so much.

Thank you.This guy looks like Sancho slightly.What is it?Just a smile.Thank you.Sancho with a sunflower badge.

I mean, this is kind of cool.I need a football.Can we get a Jabulani, please?No, I like the best with the Jabulani, please.No, it's okay.Nice hair, Bez.

It's his hair.It's something.It's his hair.Yeah, but like, the minute I don't actually knuckle it, it gets sad.It looks good when you hit the Jabulani, bro.91.

They call me Jabba the Hutt.Yeah, because you're fat.No, no, no, no.

Sorry, that was just instinct.No, no, no.

Oh, strike.76.76.Nice other way round, mate.Oh, it's a minigame.Minigame.

Yeah, yeah, minigame.Pick your opponent.Your objective is to be the first person to stack all their cups.If you do, you may take a present from them.However, cups can only be stacked when the balloon is in the air.

Hit it.Stack, stack, stack.

I don't get it.Who are you going to choose?I've picked Tobi, he battered me.I've missed a penalty against Josh, so I'm going to choose Harold.

To be fair, you battered me last time as well.At what?With the pole.

That was just, it slipped and I done you with the momentum.

Wet bottom, wet bottom.Whenever you're ready, throw the balloon.

Good luck with that.That's it.

Nice.You know what?I'm going to pass it to him, yeah.

This is quite nerve -wracking.it is, isn't it?Catch it.I respect the dedication to that, mate.

My God.My God.Fair do.What's the tactic here?Oh no.Oh shit.

Yeah.Mashallah, brother.Yeah.However it is, you have to leave it.Oh, okay.He's winning here.

Harry, you're getting smoked right now, by the way.

Yeah, not for long.Done.

All back.He touched there straight away.Like four, five?No, it was like six.Do I have to leave these here, yeah?Yeah.

And you've got to undo six.Yeah, you're cooked, bro.Touched.Yeah.Undo three.Touch the ceiling.

Harry, you're not going to catch that.

You're not going to catch that.

You're trying to go too much, each of you.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.There you go.If you do that, you'll win.That was good strat.

Are you trying to lose?I don't want to pity.

Okay, what the fuck is this niceOh, well done.I think the game's done, lads.It's not.Harry can pull his back.I can't do this game.

I don't know how to do it.How long do you think it's been?Three seconds staring at the balloon after you threw it up.Yeah, nice.Finish it.It's doable.

It is so doable.It is actually doable.Far.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Oh my God.It's done, that is the biggest bottle of all time.

That's the biggest bottle.That's legit how you do it.Harry gets to steal the present.That's dark.This day, I am growing depressed.No, no, no, it's okay.

Realistically, I'm not going to take, I don't play games.So I don't really need to take the check.

Yeah, but Josh will buy it off you for 600 pounds.Facts.

All right, Josh's go.Yeah.I'll still choose yours over mine.Bro, I've got Lego.I've got Lego in a broken tree, bro.I have a screen mask.

No, at least it's Supreme.

What happened to your shit?

I never got anything.

Are you good to go?Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Strike again.86.Let's go, granddad.Be good.Be good.It's small.

Why does Josh run away every time?Are you oinking at me?Is this good?

Is it empty?Is it the one from Toy Story?

What's in it?It's like an envelope with a bit of paper in it.I can't really get it.I'll get it, I've got small hands.Ah yeah, let me have a look at that.It says you greedy piggy, you broke the bank.

So now you owe everyone a gift.You didn't even break it.I didn't break it though.You broke into it.Yeah, yeah, yeah.You thievin' pig.

So what does it say?I owe everyone a gift.You owe everyone a gift?Swim me out, bro.

Josh, we can collab on the revi -vid.

Swim me out.

No, it gets side cards, guys.

You never.Side cards.You say that until it ends up in your path.You have no say in this.No, no, no, of course not.This is merely a gift.

So you've got a Gong Minions Lego thing.Those three.Game boy.So you have seven presents and you have to give away four.That's all right.Yeah.

That's fine.Yeah.You don't have any affination to the bone?I can give you a bone.I can give you a bone.You don't want the green boy?

No.I can't fit in my flat.Right.It's cool though.Harry, you get a bone.Yay.

Ethan, do you want anything?

Mate, just being here is the best gift I could have ever wished for.

Ethan, you have a rug.Thanks.Simon, you love Kejrick Lamar.I don't.You do.You do.

So you can have The gong.Ah, what a fun bit.Toby, you can have the ham.Kedrick Lamar.

I have known you the longest and you give me the worst present.It's a gong!The gong don't even gong!It could be a fossil.It could be a fossil.It can't be expensive because they painted it.

That's pain, that's pain.They've given it effect.It's real, bro.It's fake, bro.You've literally been given a dog toy.Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Yes.Soaking wet rug.Go Simon.Go Simon.

Let's play football.

He's done it.75.75.He's just fantastic.

Tuck that one in there.

Fire suit in one.

Oh my god, I love this.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Hold that down.Cast your spell.Okay.Oh, I've seen this.

Bears stinks like shit.Oh, okay.That was really cool.Bro.Tobi, I think 47's your best shout.You got to give it some beans.

Oh, it's got, that's going to go.It's not going.You should have gone for a closer one because you were never getting that far, don't you think?You shut up.All right, do you want to see a little volley?Do you want to see a volley into 80?

Yes.80.Oh, shit, shit.It's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing.Oh!

Roofed it in there.61.Roofed it.

Got lucky with that one.Another card!This could be trouble.The card muncher.Oh, this could be big trouble.Thank you very much, sir.

Oh, and a pen.Pick a remaining number.Write it down.All I'm gonna say is get one chance to score a goal.If they score in the number of goal you wrote down, you must give...Oh, fuck.

Okay, cool.Where's that?I heard that, I heard that.He picks a number, and if we get it, I think he can get all of his gifts.All right, you ready?I'm hoping he didn't pick two, that's all.

This doesn't count as part of your go, okay?Here we go, guys.I have picked a number of the remaining goals.If you score in that goal, you get all my presents.All of my presents.We got one in whatever his chance, like 40 chance.

All right, but you gotta think how I'd think.Yeah, how does Harry think?

No one can think how you think.

I know what I'm going for already.He's going for like a goal that'd be hard to get.

All right, 20.Oh shit.Yeah.

But if it's 33.

The mic hit my nuts.It's not 33.

33 would have been good because it's like hidden behind all the goals.But I didn't go for 33.Oh, okay.Josh.So I want to go with 44.Oh, okay.

It was not the shed at the back.

It has gone in there by the way.Literally has hit the audio man.Oh yeah, this is cool.What's the spell?Squibbidy squeam, don't go in 14.Are you going to go for 14 now?

No, I'm going for 10.10 would be a good shout.Oh no.Please at least go in 85.Was it 85?It wasn't 85.

It wasn't 85, it wasn't 85.I think I saw him do it.He panicked a little bit there, so it's that kind of error.I think it's going to be one of the nearer ones.What are you going for?Eight.

Oh, nice.Good goal.It was 18.Oh!It was 18.Yeah, it was a big circle.

You said 20, you were close.Yeah, I was panicking because it almost rolled into the 18.All right, so now you actually get your go.All right, go on, Bez.Boomer!

Okay, boomer, whatever you say, boomer.Philip Foden, 47.Oh, not another bit of cardboard.

He pulled a hamstring, by the way.

Have you done your leg or something?Yeah.Are you ready?Yes.World Cup tickets.Oh, shit.

I'm going to England, Croatia.

But which category?Does it say what category?

No, it's just the flight.Okay.

Lucky boy.You all right, mate?Okay, Josh.Well, okay, Josh.Oh, Jesus.Shut up.

Oh!The geezer's pulled his hamstring.He's done like 30 short sprints.

Oh no.Shorts card!Be good or bad.Depends how you see it, mate.says remove five goals entirely.Oh, wow.

Get rid of two.Yeah, get rid of two.Wait, but what if you get rid of the one that lets us leave?What one do you not like?The one that takes the longest.Hey, one each, go on.

Can we please get rid of 18?18?You have a real issue with 18.18's going.Nine!Nine's going.

27.Nine, 18, 27.68.Nine, 18.27, 68, and two.Why'd he get rid of two?

He got rid of two.Why'd he get rid of two?Why'd he get rid of two?

Why'd he get rid of two, bro?You saw that wand fucking hit his face.He set his beard on fire.Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He stinks.So that might help him.That might get rid of the nits.

Smelly guy.Why'd you get rid of two, stinky guy?

You are actually the stinkiest guy.You're actually the stinkiest guy.For good reason.This is the last one of my chance card.I've used the other two.This is the last one.

That was years ago you got that card.I know.Where's the wind going?Not really.

Does it even go anywhere?Where's the wind going?Not really.There's no wind.

I think he's going to do this.

If anyone can do it, it's you.Believe.Get in.You deserve so much more.

Toby.I'll be honest, Toby.Shut up.I've had enough of your shit.Shut up.Toby, just don't hit the goal to end the video.

I don't know what I want.23 for Lebron.

98 or 99.But it's got to be top bins.He's in the javelin, hasn't he?Top bins only.What are you going for?I mean, it's all right.

He's curled a javelin, hasn't he?

Psychologically, I'm not prepared.

He can't strike through it.I'm not prepared.

Oh, what's that?

The hobbling man. I beg there's a demon in it.Japanese puzzle books.Those are those cursed ones.

Is there going to be something funny in there or is it just - Is that the puzzle?Stop doing that.Big man, stop doing that.Sorry.Go back to the tent.Sorry.

Right.Are you twisting it?I'm going to smack it out the fire there, so.

Harry, I think you'd like this.It's quite fascinating.Yeah, there actually might be something in it.

All right, straight, this five's getting ripped off the hinges, mate.The five.Shit.Good finish, though.Good finish.Yeah, but it's dead, that goal, innit?

Go on, Buzz.

Unlucky.No.How do I open it, bro?Go for71.71. Okay.

All right.Oh, shit.

I thought I was missing 100%.Oh, you're in trouble.Oh, no.

Chance card.Send someone off.Oh, no.You've just scored the goal that ends the video.

He said 70, no one.No, but he said71. He said71. He said

71. No, I got70. Yeah, he said71. So if you want the video to continue, why even have this in the video?No, we don't.We're blaming you for ending the video.

We're just making a joke.Oh, okay.It's a bit.Oh, wait, hang on.Are you telling me I get to keep what I got now?Yeah.

I have actually passed keys.

This here today has been the worst day ever.It's the worst day ever.I've got trench foot from the fucking car, Jesus.Yes, now, ladies and gentlemen,and gentlemen, I've got good news.Side Hustle is back on Side Plus and this time it's my turn.

So we're here at the O2 to commentate on one of the Premier League of Dark semi -finals.No pressure then.That's insane.You can't call it a job if you're having fun.Get to know that I am the best commentator around.