SIDEMEN $100,000 vs $100 CRUISE HOLIDAY

This is the world's biggest cruise ship.This is not.One team gets an all -access unlimited budget cruise full of fun and luxury.

One team, well, they'll be stuck with me.

Well, welcome to Barely Afloat.But before we set sail, let's find out the teams.We have landed in Italy.But as you guys know, we're not starting tonight.We're starting tomorrow.OK.

However, I'm splitting you up tonight.No.We're going to stay in different hotels.No.Ethan, go this side.Oh my goodness.

Goodbye.Goodbye.Toby, go this side.Okay, this team's not going to open war.

I like this.

Yeah, this is a luxury crew.That feels pretty good for tonight.Yes!Split up, so you go that way.This is great.

No!

A long drive out here.

Yeah.Very long.Yeah, worryingly long.

What's worrying is that green thing in your hand.

Yes, I did find this in my toilet, actually.This is your first shoot.

Do you want to open the envelope?

Oh, really?Go on.

Thank you.Good morning.I've been given the envelope, which is terrifying news.Do you really want me to open this?

I don't know why they gave it to you.Yes.You're on the good team.Finally, right?And it's not football.Are you not?

If he is, I am.

Good morning, boys, on the Italian coast.I wonder which one of you will enjoy the day the most.Oh, it's like poetry.Last night you arrived together.Go to your car and see if that will last forever.

We're getting split up.Oh, no.

That's not a good sign.

That's not nice.Good morning, boys.I hope you're feeling great.It's time for you to get going.You don't want to be late.OK.

Oh, I don't litter.Well, yeah, there is, you know, there's still respect.Don't litter.Don't litter.I really hope we're fishing.I really hope we're fishing.

I really hope we're fishing.Kevin, are we fishing?We are fishing no matter what, mate.Even if it's not half the crew.ship.Yeah, we'll fish off the cruise ship.

Okay, then I'm in for a good day.We know the good team.We're on a big cruise ship.A gigantic cruise ship.

If we don't see it inside one hour.I don't see one.

Oh shit, yeah.

But I see little muds.

If we get the cruise ship, we'll turn it upside down.We're gonna sink that bit.Please don't do that.

Please.I'm confident now.I'm quite confident.I don't think he'd be mean enough to split us up now.Stop water!That didn't even work, right?

That's not water.Oh, my days.

Both.No, no, no.Bro, we're literally...One second.

That's not looking good at all.Is it not even a real boat?

Nothing.No, no, guys, it's...No, no, this could be a twist.Please pick out your boat.Your budget is $4.Oh, no, we've pulled out.

There is a Ferrari, though.There's two Ferraris.

There's two Ferraris.Oh, shit.Boys, we ain't going...No, this could be...Boys, don't start.We need tea, bruv.

That's where they're made.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Boys, we're in Ferraris.

We actually might be in a Ferrari.

Nah, Josh loves to mess with people, right?

Yeah.

No, there's water there as well.There is water there.We're done for.

I would say that every minute that goes past, we are in more peril.Yeah, 100%.If you're not on the good team by midday, you're done.The boat has everything.The cruise ship has everything.What do we have?

Here it comes.

We may have nothing.We may.We may. I'll hold that thought.Kevin, hello.

Kevin, don't you do this to me, Kevin.

This is the best holiday of all time.

I don't...Oh, fuck.

Oh, boy.Oh, no.Yellow car.

Oh, ah, there is envelopes on them.Should we read the envelopes?Oh, this is, okay.

That says Jack.Oh no, we're going to different destinations.Yeah, we're going to be, this might be it boys.

Yeah, we're actually not going to see each other again.It's very sad.Trust me, we are.

It's been a nice 10 minutes this morning.Thank you for keeping spirits up.Are you sure?Boys, I've got the envelope.

It's going to say, I was just doing this for a clip.It's time to dip and go to the big ship.

Simon and Ethan.Simon and Ethan, please leave the car.Vik, stay exactly where you are.

You're on the bad team, I'm on the good team.Goodbye.Goodbye, my friends.It's written in the stars.It's been good.GG.

Remember us.I will remember you.Ready?

I've got money.I've got money too.We've got money.All right.

This is your car.That's legally binding.That is legally binding.

Okay, and 50 euros.

Is this to pay someone to drive it, or is this to pay off the police when we get a speeding ticket?I don't know.There's quite a lot of context here.Oh, I know what's happened.Harry's going to come with us, and they're going to put the best swimmer with the fucking people that can't swim.He's swapping.

Oh!

And Vikkstar's going to be playing lifeguard for the people that can't swim.

Josh Durker, he's an evil genius.He's a puppet master behind the scenes.But I'll tell you one thing.If I was on the cheap team with Ethan and Simon, they've talked about sending themselves to the bottom of the ocean.It wouldn't have been good.I'm slightly hopeful now.

This is the twist I needed.Oh, lovely.

The door handle opened the window.

Mate, this is class.And I'm so glad that I'm not driving this thing.Thank the Lord.What's happening here?Oh, yes.

I wish I was driving this badly.

I'm going to look around this car.Oh, Jesus Christ, a fucking spider.There we go.How's that for a little bit?Enjoy that.

It's bloody hot in here.

Do Ferraris have aircon?

I don't know how to open this.

He's very struggling with the car.

What is happening?What are you trying to do?I don't know.It's just going mental.

Ciao.Ciao.

Baby's staring at me.Yes, it's a Ferrari, lad.

Yeah, that's...Oh, my God.That's got a GoPro in the wind.We're in this car.We're driving this car.We're driving this car.

It's really cool, to be honest.Really cool car.Yeah, there's always the chance that Vik's car is just driven into the lake.That's true.And he's on the worst team.

I'm leaving my boys behind and you know what?It's never felt better.This is what Josh does to a man.

What sort of horse power is it pulling?You don't speak, no, fair enough.Like the horse, you know, like a horse?What's that like?French, not French.Italian horse, like a neigh power.

Like the...I'll translate.

This is stunning as well.You know me, I'm a sucker for a wheel.

This is very cool.It probably wouldn't look cool if I was driving.But I'll be a passenger princess, I don't mind.But I am now led to believe we might be on the good team.I have a sneaking suspicion.Because why would you put us in Ferraris if we weren't?

How long have you had the car?¿Cuánto tiempo hace que tienes el coche?

Spanish, the translation.

Oh, shit, yeah, sorry.

Josh, I don't want to wish ill upon your newborn child.Three has just become two.You will now keep whipping that poo.Whipping that boiling poo.Follow the car in front until you're told what to do.Let's see how this fucking bad boy works.

At least it's got a radio.Is it manual?

The crafty guy has crafted something.Once again, I'm optimistic.I'm always optimistic.Perhaps too optimistic.

Oh no, no, no.Oh no, no, no.Right, basically, we've gone a different route.I thought I've been split up from the boys, but I think we've just taken the wrong turn.

Harry hasn't come the same way as us, which has me very worried.Oh my God.

What about pineapple on pizza?Have you heard of this?Oh my God.Fair.Fair enough.Got it.

Loud and clear.Flipping.Oh my God.I think there's speed bumps there.There's speed bumps.I think there's speed bumps.

Bye.Bye, friends.Quite a nice car.Certainly doesn't look cheap.Oh no.

Rule Britannia.Britannia rule the waves.Oh, the lady doesn't like that.She's come out to her garden.We're going back up the hill.Well, that is interesting.

So we're not heading for the coast.What is it?

Yes.Yes.

Oh no, I've gone a different way to Jack.Oh.

Oh.I'm dead.We're dead.Goodness gracious.Been driving long?You're a nutter.

You're a nutter.Oh my God.

Right, the worrying thing is, I still haven't caught up with the other guys yet.I might actually have been ditched here.

I can't see Harry or Jack.

I can see my left flashing before my eyes.Aha.This is better.I've arrived at the castle because I'm king of this video.That's a Bentley.It's looking good.

Your luck in these videos has been far from the best.Do you think today finally puts that to rest?It has to.You wouldn't write this.You wouldn't kick a man when he's down.Not even Josh would do that.

And there's a Bentley there.I'm clear.I'm clear.I finally made it to a good team, but it's not football.I think.I hope.

Am I actually on the good team?or if I've been transferred to the good team.Because if I've been transferred to the good team, then I don't even feel real.

Should we blast it through the tunnel?Should we blast, blast, blast?They're going to slow down though.Okay, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, because they're slowing down.That's pretty cool.See, this looks beautiful now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.It was literally like that was a tunnel out of poo.

Oh!Oh!Oh!I don't see a big boat.Oh, no, no, no, there's a black one.

No, but that's not...That's not a cruise ship, is it?No.No!That is beautiful, though.Yeah, but that means we're going...

No, there's a proper dinghy next to it, so...Yeah, that means we're going poo -ville.In here?Oh, goodness, okay.Do I get out?Oh, my word, okay.

Nice to meet you too, sir.Thank you.

What's going on?

Well, shit.Hello.Have you seen a big boat?Big boat?Boat?Big?

We're fucked.I thought it was a bit.

He went the wrong way and then I thought he'd done it by mistake.He was properly...Oh, for fuck's sake.

This is ridiculous.isn't it?This is bad.This is bad.This is bad.This is bad.

Even the fucking follow car's going as well.And you've got a big backpack as well.I'm fucked, aren't I?Oh, for fuck's sake.Oh my God.Your driver took you up a hill.

Wait for a while.Here you will.Your next mode of transport is on route.I'm sure you'll be greeted with a salute.

So it was.It was all part of the plan.That bastard.

We're in a sneaky little boat.We are, yeah.I think this is it.This is done.Vic must go.This is it.

That's our rubber dinghy rapibo.You know what, Vic?I'm all done, mate.I'm happy for you.I'm all done.

Yeah, because this is not.

I want to die.Is it a kayak?Oh, my God.Oh, my God.Is it that rubber dinghy rapibo?Oh, it actually is rubber dinghy rapibo.

Oh, my God.Oh, my God.The orange one.No, it can't be.This is boiling shit.Josh Circle whipping that shit.

It's been all last night boiling the kettle.You lot just in there fucking.Like this ain't even safe, man.

You lot in there cackling about what shit you're putting together.

Josh wouldn't even do this, man.He wouldn't walk along this, let alone get on the boat.You jokers, mate.I know what you've done.You've picked the two best looking with the biggest cojones to do this.And I understand.

Chosen the two that have dealt with baby shit.Yeah, literally shit.So now we can deal with Josh's shit.Yeah, exactly.

I've gone from a day out with Jack, Joseph and Toby to a fucking pile of shitty logs.

And also, I've been abandoned.

I hope my boys are doing okay.I wonder how Jack's hanging on in that Ferrari.

Have you seen any big cruises knocking about?Big cruises?You've seen them knocking about?Oh, Martin.Are we going big cruise?Oh, really?

The vibes were good, man.There was a good day ahead there.I could see it on the horizon.We were heading for glory.I've just been zerkering his twists.Well, I've been handed another envelope and we're here.

Just messing with you.Your boat isn't here.It's parked somewhere else.Don't worry.It's near.Get back in the car.

This is what you did, yeah?This is what you lot were doing, yeah?Yeah?This is what you lot were doing.

You made me mad.No, no, no, but look, look, look.No, no, look.Now what?Why have I just jumped in now?What are you going to do?

Look.What are you going to do?Where's the boat?What are you going to do?What are you going to do now?I'm going to drown now.

Why would you jump in?Nah, they have no escape.How does Finn get out of here?We're not going.Where are you going, Finn?Where are you going?

Where are you going, huh?Wait, as in the car we just were in?

Thank you so much.

Grazie.

Now, the amount of money in my envelope also concerns me, because what's that money for?Am I going to need to get around on my own?Why have you given me 50 euros?Okay, my driver has just given me an envelope.Hi, Toby, can you see the Ferris wheel?

Yes, I'm not blind.

I know it's too early for a meal, but I kicked you out of the car on the coast.Find some gelato in the flavour you like the most.So what's the Ferris wheel got to do with anything?

Oh, I can hear something.Oh, that sounds like it's falling apart.Oh, no, it sounds rickety.Oh, no.Is that me?Oh, OK.

It is me.What is happening?

Hello.Hello.How are you?Welcome to Italy.I'm good.Thank you.

Harry, nice to meet you.Oh, OK.OK.Sure.What's going on?You good?

Are you ready?

Yes.Are you ready for the time of your life?Yeah, why not, mate?Let's do it.Let's do it.

OK.After you.After you.

Hello, sir.Hello.

Let's go.Yeah, let's go.Special treatment.Oh, lovely.Where should I sit?Anywhere?

Where you want.

Where I want?

This is a luxury speeding.OK, I'll go like here.

Yeah, I'll sit next to you.

OK.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Why not?

Why not?

What's going on?

I'm good.

I've been abandoned here.Yeah?Yeah, I was in a Ferrari and now I'm here.

I saw the Ferrari.

Yeah, he left me.

It's only going to get better.Yeah?

You are the coolest man I've ever met in my whole life.You get loads of ladies with this car?Loads of ladies, like women, with this car.I bet they're like, oh, lovely car.Got to work on my small talk.Oh, I do see a big -ass boat.

Oh, I see a big -ass boat.

There is a...Wait, that's the ship, no?I think that's the cruise ship.That's the cruise ship.I think that's the cruise ship.That's the cruise ship.

Oh my God.No, that's the cruise ship.Yeah, but I'm not...No, that's the cruise ship.If we are going in a boat next to it, I'm going to kick off.That's the fucking cruise ship because it's got the thing on top.

Like the fun, pooly bit.Let's do it.

Sorry, there's no one else?There's no other?No, man.

No, it's just us two, yeah?It's a luxury experience.Luxury experience.Luxury experience for you, man.Okay.I mean, have you seen the countryside here?

It's really hard to drive as well.

Oh, yeah.well my just good yeah i know my driving took the wrong turn that's a quick one obviously like tips tip oh tips you know my tips it's the way my 50 euros is going i'll give you i got i got a tip for you but we'll see how the we'll see how the thing goesfirst.We'll see how the thing goes.

No, no, tips.Tips now?Yeah, the trip.Jesus.

You know what, mate?

That's what you do in a restaurant.You give a treat, you never wait.

Okay, you know what, mate?Since my life is in your hands at this point, I've got 50 euros.Oh, I never see what it's like.It's real.Is it?I don't know.

You used to pound.That's the thing.I know, I know.

Okay, my 50's gone.

Samuele, abbiamo 50 euro.

Are you sure there's a cruise here?I think he might have lied.Oh no.I'm not on a cruise, am I?Oh mate, you've done me.You've done me up like a kipper.

Is this us?We're ready.This is us.Thank you very much.What's your name?

Rafael.

My name is Jack.You have a much cooler name and a cooler car and a cooler hair and accent and everything.Trying to be nonchalant, but I don't know how to open this thing.

Do you know what?We're going to stick with the theme of yellow today.Yeah.We're going to get me a little lemon gelato.So why am I just, I'm just having a nice ice cream.Can I just get three flavors?

Lemon.Yeah.Let's do that.Thank you.Maybe Josh has niced me and I don't have to get on a boat at all today.Perhaps that is the play.

That is the boat.That's the ship.That's our boat.That's the fucking ship.That's the cruising ship.That ship cruises.

Certain of it.We've been dunked on too much, you know what I mean?It's just been dunking, dunking, dunking.

I also feel really bad for Victor.Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want some water?You know what?I'd love some water.Yeah, yeah, yeah.If that's part of the experience, yeah.Do you want a still or sparkling?

Oh my gosh, I'll take a sparkling, please.We only have still.I hoped you said still.Josh Zirkin, you will pay for your sins.What are you doing to me?I was with my boys.

I was with my boys.

What are you talking about?

Oh, just my friend.Just the video.Mr. Giovanelli.

I'm going to pick up a Mr. Giovanelli as well.Oh, Mr. Giovanelli.I don't know a Mr. Giovanelli.Move on.

Oh, OK.Why am I here on my own?I've got no friends here.Hey, Jack.Do you recognize this place?I wonder if that smile has disappeared from your face.

Nope.Always smiling.Find our Italian waiting for you, holding a drink and a task too.Any Italians knocking about here?Any Italians?I'm after an Italian in my Ferrari.

This way.Thank you very much.Muchos brillante.He loves it.I don't know how to say this.I'm not good at the whole talking.

Excuse me?Are you the Italian I'm looking for?Oh, you are.Yes, you are.Hello.How are you?

Nice to meet you.I'm very good, thank you.How are you?Something for you.I'm good.OK.

That's for you.Thank you.And that's for you.

Cheers.Cheers.

We are in Italy.Have a coffee with me.Oh, and while you're at it, keep me entertained.If I'm satisfied, I will let you know.OK?So you live here?

No.

No?

No, no.I'm a couple of hours from here.

Oh, wow.Sure.I can see the water ahead.There we go.Look at this.What an absolute place.

All right, are we back on?I don't see anything that fits what I'm looking for here, but still have hope.

What coffee do Italians like?He's going to like cappuccino.Macchiato, that sounds Italian.So I've got Entertainer Man.How do I entertain?a man?

That's pretty, that's pretty.Show him that.I'm going to show him a video of the wine lamp.

We're in a seaside town.It's all right.It's not like...Stop complaining.No, no, no, no.Stop complaining.

No, no, no, this is lovely.British people.

Stop complaining.

You're in Italy.

I know, I know, I know.

What are you complaining about?

I know, I know, I love it.This is perfect.It's just what I wanted.Wait, you got Blackpool.I've never been to Blackpool.A British seaside.

Look at this.I can't see the seaside.Where's the beach?Look at the woman.She has 17 kilos of bread on her head.Look at that.

She's using bread as dumbbells.This doesn't strike me as a cruise port for the world's biggest cruise ship.That is my only worry here.I'm also alone with an Italian man.

Grazie mille.Successful pastry purchase.Did you see her put this in her?You cheeky, cheeky, cheeky boy.We have another envelope.I hope you enjoyed your ice cream.

I really hope it was a dream.Return to where you got kicked out.A car will be waiting, just knocking about.

Okay, thank you.This is how I find out anything.I know nothing, all I have is these.Ah, says you deserve a little break.After all you've done, grab an ice cream and enjoy the sun.So I think I'm supposed to stop here.

So thank you.Thank you for the lift.Very nice car.And yes, good to meet you.

Oh, I've got something to show you.Look at this.Yeah, I was thinking about you.I missed you when I was making your coffee.Wine lamb.So it was a lamb, but I think it used to be a wine bottle.

I'm not going on that ferris wheel, am I?Which one?Yeah, that one.

Which one?This one?Do you think this is a luxury?Do you reckon that's not a lotion, is it?

I don't think that's the boat.No, that is it.We are currently driving well away.No, that's not it.Oh my God, that's not it.No, it is.

It's not.No, it is.Or it is and he's driven us past it on purpose.

Oh, no, it's not working.Oh, no, not working.

It's okay, I can hear you.Can you hear me?I can hear you.There's no one else here.

Okay, try on the back.Get on the back.Can you hear me?

I can hear you, yes.

Oh, now it's working.Hey, yes!

So basically, grab a wine.So the music's playing.They come over and they start backing up.And then you just, you have to be nonchalant.That's the main thing about catching a wine.So...

Is it?And then you do a bit of hips.And a little slap.Yeah, one of these.

Jeez.

Wine up that batty for me more.That's what you say.This is a brilliant wine I'm getting from you.

Jeez.Why are you sitting there?Why are you far away?You told me to sit here.Just to check on the way.

I'll come back happily, don't worry.worry.Why are you feeling like that?No, no, no.I'm so chuffed to be here, mate.Oh, I see one of my friends.

Yeah.I see one of my friends.

So I got kicked out by this giant Ferris wheel and a car is meant to be waiting for me, just knocking about.

Where's Jack?What have they done with Jack?Hello!How are you, my friend?

How are you?I'm good, how are you?I'm Tino.What's your name?Toby.Tommy, come here.

Welcome to Italy.This is for me?Thank you.

No!What do you mean, no?Sorry.Hello!Hello!What happened?

What happened?What do you mean, what happened?Where did you go?They split us up.I know, but...You sound like you've been through hell.

No, no, no.I've been through hell.No, no, no.

I've had a lovely time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but more nonchalant, if you can.And you have to say, because obviously they need some reassurance that they're giving a good whine.So you have to go, whine up that batty.Okay.

Like, whine up that batty.

Yes, exactly.This batty so big.Yes.You could also say, grab it and slap it, Becky, you're savage.OK.Grab and slap it, Becky, you're savage.

Yes.A bit more rhythm.Grab it and slap it, Becky, you're savage.Let me...So it's like this.

Grab it and slap it, Becky, you're savage.That's my normal voice.I put on the squeaky gimp voice.

Oh, no!Are you sure?What's our boat called there, bro?Legend of the Sea or something like that.Is it?It's that one.

Holy shit, it's...What happened?I've hit my elbow.But it's that boat out at sea!Oh, is it?You see all the shit on it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Legends of Seas, that's the boat!

That's the boat!That's the actual boat.You're saying that's the boat?Legend of the Seas, you heard me say it.Yeah, you did, yeah.It says Legend of the Seas on the bottom left of it.

It's out at sea, we've got to get to it.Oh my God.I'll swim to it, even if I die on the way.I'll fucking, I'll ride you on to it.Not in that way, you know what I mean?No, no, no, no.

You're welcome to, actually.Scuba.So hang on a minute, so let's, can we figure out, can we get to the bottom of this?So you and Jack could split up as well?Yes.

Got all this sorted as well.Who's next?This is the black list.The what list?I mean, I mean, maybe, maybe it's not.I just speak English, you guys.

I feel entertained and I love your company.of your company.And that was a very nice morning.Thank you very much.You can come back to your Ferrari.OK.

That I see that is a very nice car.I've had it two years.Do you like it?It's all right.Could be better.And with that nice car, you can reach the second point where you will find some more info for you.

More info.I kind of want to have a beer with you then.We will see each other though, won't we?Probably we will.I feel like we've bonded now.I feel like we've bonded.

We should add each other on like Facebook or email or something.Thank you.Cheers.Let's down it.Let's split the G. We're not fierce.

Oh my god.Oh my god.We're here.Oh my god.

Ethan, they wouldn't bring us this close.Ethan, they wouldn't bring us this close.

Oh yeah, yeah.Get out this time.We saw the legend of the sins.Don't act like I'm too clever for this.

I saw it out there.This is terrible.out to be quite a brilliant day.My Ferrari.Hello.We're back.

Do you know Flavio?He's class.Going for a pint if you want to join.So we're going away from the sea.We're in a rush, aren't we?Bloody hell.

Honestly, we've got time.We've got time.Bloody hell.Bloody hell.

We are dead.All this, this is bloody lovely.But I also don't like the fact that I'm just on my own.It's like I've been put in solitary confinement.Look at this, though.What a life.

What a world.What are you doing here?

We're at a watermelon shop.Is this us?Thank you very much.See you shortly, I hope.Another envelope for Jack, for Daddy Jack.This is an olive garden, isn't it?

I'm picking olives.See, if I'm on the bad team and they think, oh, picking olives is bad, bro, I am the biggest fan of olives.

I'm having a brilliant day.

Will I be seeing you soon?If you're on the good team, I'm sure you'd be over the moon.No cruise ship is complete without a pineapple or two.Go inside, bring some with you.That's very random.

Yeah, and I just sit in the car.What if you're fucking...

I was waiting for you.I was waiting for you.No, they told me...All my life I was waiting for you.

Lewis, who was waiting for who?

I was waiting for him, no?I was waiting for you.

They were waiting for us.

What?Yeah, yeah.And what?I've been telling you.How?How?

Because you were eating a fucking, you were buying custard creams.

You made me walk around to kill time.Well done, Tito.You broke up the family.Are you happy now?

Yeah, yeah.

You need my help.

Let's do some family therapy.It's a couple of therapies.

He made me wait.He made me wait for him.

He made me wait first.

It was his fault.

He made me wait first.

I didn't know.

Yes.Apologize to Tom.No, yeah, thank you.Apologise to him.You want me to apologise?I thought you were apologising for him.

Who, me apologising?No, I'm apologising for him.

You guys need therapy.

He's a conscious human being.Why should I apologise?What's the problem here, guys?You were late.This guy's got negative vibes.At the back of the seat, now!

Jesus!I'll go to the bar, I'll go to the bar.Oh my God!You wanna go sit at the bar, sit at the bar and f***ing help me?Take your vibes, take your vibes.Take your finger, this guy is f***ing on top of you, come on.

This guy, man.

Negativity, man.

Do you know what it is?He doesn't have the same synergy that we do.

Bro, what?

What letter does your name begin with?

T. What letter does my name begin with?M. Hey man!Nico!What?Nico!You got me!

No, Toby, Toby, I know.They get me all so fucking wrong.Nicola!Because, because...What?Toby!

Toby!You, a bad boy, is back on the bus now!Now!Come join me!

Now!Come join me!What's happened now?It's all gone wrong!It's all gone wrong!

What is hello again?

Oh, pardon.Sorry.Bonjour.Language.Why did I say that?Oh God, I'm making a tit of myself.

That's close to a pineapple, isn't it?She's going to think something weird is going on.I'm just going toFerrari and bought two eggplants.

I feel like I'm waiting for a cut scene.You know, like you're playing a game and you've pulled up somewhere and you're just waiting for like the cut scene to start.

Bez.Yes.We don't have any friends.We don't have any friends.Zero friends.And as much as I've now seen the boat, I'm getting a little bit panicked.

Zero friends.Why are we not on the boat?No friends.No boat.Road trip video.You've made it this far.

Don't stop just yet.Head to the front, there's one more thing to get.It's going to be a life jacket, mate.

If it's Toby, I'm questioning Josh.

How many envelopes have you got?This is an insane amount of envelopes.Number three.I do want to know my fate.I'm telling you, I don't see any cruise ship anywhere.I see a pretty cool yacht, two very cool yachts.

This video is about a cruise, right?

Get back in your car, you have other things to see.

Don't worry, soon you'll be heading out to see it.It's almost as if Josh is listening to me.

Perfecto.You are the best.Have this tip for you.For you.Oh, thank you.And you keep this for being such a legend.

For you.For being the best legend ever.Grazie.For being so love you.Oh, thank you.Ciao.

Bueno.Bro, I need to work on talking.I can't do it.Why was that the most awkward thing I've ever done in my life?Oh, this is it.We're going to go to that shop and get a fucking life jacket.

Yeah, I'll pick out an outfit for your day.That's life jackets, right?We're going on an albatross.Oh, no.We're getting on an albatross.

Oh, no.Hey, this looks very lovely.Where are we?This isn't a boat.This doesn't look like somewhere a cruise ship would be.

We're waiting for someone to come up behind us, tap us on the shoulder and be like, we're on your team.I'll get a cannonball, I'll shoot you a Legend of the Sea.How about that?I'll sink it.No, no, we're either a good team or we're pirates.Yeah, I'll sink it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There we go.Perfecto.Are you going?Oh, no.Thank you, brother.You're the best.

You're the greatest man alive.Oh, I'm going to miss him.Oh, I'm tearing up a little bit.Look at that.What a man.

Well, this is Oxford.Thanks, Josh.I said goodbye to my friend, and now I'm getting back in his car.It's Oxford.Thanks, Josh.

Thank you.

All right, back on the road.

Okay, we go again.Your Ferrari leaves you here.Your next vehicle is near.Look over the edge.Enjoy the view, but watch out for creepy coolies clinging onto you.What is he talking about?

Look over the edge?There ain't nothing over the edge.What's he talking about?

Almost there, boys.

Almost there?Okay.I'm excited.You should be.I should be, yeah, okay.I'm nonchalant.

I'll tell you what, you're prime nonchalant.You've finished the lollipop.There's no lolly on the pop anymore.Take the fucking stick out.What's the stick in your mouth for?You're too chalant for me.

You're chewing on a stick.What are we doing here?

There ain't a vehicle.Water.

Us.Come on.We're waiting for you.Boys.Gentlemen, welcome.

I've had the best day of my life, man.What have you done?

What have you done?No, what have you done?Bro, I've had the best day.

What have you done?I was in a Ferrari.He was playing music.I met this guy called Flavio, had a coffee with him.

You're a better man than me because this sounds like a bit of a naff day so far.Are you joking?

Mate, look at this.Wine lamp.

Oh, that's brilliant.Yeah, that's something, bro.It's lit.Yeah, yeah.Where's our team mate at?Well, I don't know.

V -Class.V -Class.V -Class.That's why you wanted a super wide.V -Class.

Okay, we have arrived somewhere.I see my team.I think I was right.I think I'm joining these guys, Ethan and Simon.Oh, a cool car.

A Bentley.Oh my God, a Bentley.Oh, Vikkstar's in a Bentley.Oh my God.Vikkstar's in a Bentley.Oh my God.

But he doesn't know we're here.Vikkstar!

We're back!Yeah!It was a ruse!Vikkstar!It was a ruse!Have you seen the boat?

That's it, by the way.That's Legend of the Seas right there.But I don't know if we're being cocked.No, no, no, no, no, but you're looking at it.It's in the sea.It's in the sea.

No one can get to it.I'll swim if I have to.Did you drive them in?No, fortunately, I would have cried if I had to drive that.You've met back up at a spot with a view.Yes, we said viewpoint.

Congratulations, the expensive team that Grusham is waiting for you!

Yeah!

And I wasn't gifted it, I'm meant to be here.Because imagine I just got driven to like the other guys and was like, oh, we just added you to the good team.I wouldn't have earned it.I've worked for this.

I didn't think I'd ever be a tree hugger, but I am.

Boys, we arrived.

We're here.

Yes.Let's go.We done did it.I'm finally going to see some daylight.

Thank you, driver.Thank you very much.Grazie mille.

Thank you.

What a lovely day.

Oh, the day.Oh, yeah.

The day is young.

I'm off that fucking bus.Stop complaining.I'm excited.I'm happy now.

I'm good.I'm glad.My job is done here, guys.I've got something for you.Yes!

We in the Bentley truck.Yeah, whippin' that goodness.

Whippin' that greatness.I did enjoy just being on my own, by the way.It wasn't fun.

Yes!Thank you, Simon Bentley.

The Cruise Terminal.That sounds like a bit of me.They named this one after Tom Cruise.Come on.

Ciao, ciao.

Ciao.

Arrivederci.

Right.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Harry, Jack, Toby.Right.Land ahoy.I see you're at a port.Follow the road straight down.Then a wreck, good sport.

Bless you.Then up.Walk down the aisle in front of you, a boat will be waiting with some other faces too.

We're all quite tight.That's almost worrying.Is it?I don't know.It depends who the other faces are.I will say, this has turned into a lovely day.

It was brilliant at the start.A lovely, brilliant day.Might be the best day ever.Genuinely.I had a great day.Depends who's on the boat.

Right, guys, I've got one.What do you call someone from the government who's very good at taking assets away from somebody?

Go on.Legend of HMRC.

Legend of the Seas.Get it?It's close, isn't it?I actually prefer HMRC.Yeah, Legend of HMRC.HMRC.

HMRC.Yeah.Not like this.Can you pull the pin out?No, no, no.Boom!

Oh, there she is. I can't believe it.There she is.That was good.See, that was good.Yeah?Nice.

Now you're on.I mean, the boats look all right here.Oh, the drone's flying.Who's that?

Oh, we're on that, boys.

Who is that?

We're on a pirate ship.

My god.

Negativity is an illusion, we've got to be positive.

Is that Josh?That's Josh's big head.That is Josh's big head.Yeah, I knew it.Is it?He's trying to hide it with that hat.

Oh, it is big.That's Josh's big head.

It is enormous.

Hello.Welcome, welcome.Oh, thank you.Thank you.

Good morning, how are you?

Oh, good.Yeah?Yeah.Nice to be off a fucking bus for a change, yeah, yeah.

Well, welcome to Barely Afloat.Oh, nice.Barely Afloat.We are afloat, but barely.Nice one.Here are my two staff members.

Hello, nice to meet you.Tommy, nice to meet you boys.Nice to meet you, Tommy.

Kerry, nice to meet you.

Tommy and Kerry.Nice to meet you both.Great names.Can we get on?Yeah, let's get on.Jump on.

All right, thank you very much.

Up you go.

Wow, we've got a whole like...

I'm not that flexible, Josh.Up you get.I'm trying.

Got my mango all day.I'm trying, mate.Got a schedule to maintain.Love that.Double snuffed up as well.That's my goat right there.

There's plenty of fish.

There is fish.Is there rods?Are we fishing?Yes!No, no, there's not a rod.That's not a rod.

It's a bit of rope.It's a crank.Let's go, let's go.Legend of the Seas.I need the toilet.Call that Legend of the Peas.

Wow.Scratch that.Make lots of money.I'm Legend of the Peas.I got wood.Legend of the Trees.

Just went uni.Legend of the Grease.

Nice.I'm on the street.Legend of Dark Grease.Because it's not degrees, it's the grease, you know.Welcome aboard.Thank you.

A lovely cruise for you today.The weather is not looking great.It looks all right.We may hit a storm.Yes.

Or four or five.Yes.

But this boat always stays afloat.It does barely stay afloat, but it stays afloat.We're used to this.We have plan Bs, Cs and Ds, don't you worry.Okay.However, Is this your boat today?

Do a quick tour?Yeah, let's have a look.Yeah, why not?Sleeping?It's not sleep.Sleeping?

Yeah.Nah, nah, nah, nah.All right, what's going on in here?

Boys, they've got a JBL speaker.Yeah, watch out.

Hang on a minute.How do you drive this?How do you even see out?What are you looking at when you're driving this thing?

I don't worry about it.

All right, we'll be fine.

We won't hit any icebergs.

Watch your head coming down here.It's a bit tight.What's as steep as this, bro?

Oh my goodness.

Gracious me. I don't, I don't know.Here you go.Oh yes.Here's your bedrooms.Oh yes.Lower bunk.

As in one bed for each of us, one room for each of us.Oh, one bed for each of us.Oh, I have this one there.

You all right there, mate?Fucking hell.What kind of technique are you operating there?What's that?That's the crew quarters.Crew, sorry.

Sorry.

Jack, are you a top bunk or a bottom bunk kind of vibe?

If you think my hips are fitting in that bottom bunk.Right, so I'll go top bunk then, yeah?Are you staying with us?

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

The boat's there, by the way.We made it.It doesn't look...Is it huge?

No, get him on the bouncy.Get him on the bouncy.He's just looked at the biggest boat in the world.

Maybe I need to go closer.

Like, Vik, look how big...Look at that.The slides look small.That is true.

They do have a whole gosh darn water park.

This is a movie on here, by the way.

Oh, cheese grommet.

I want to play.Bro, I'm so excited.Still looking small to you, Vic?No.

No.We're actually going to sea.We're a boat.Are we sleeping?in the sea?On the sea?

We're sleeping on the sea, yes.We're on a boat.

It's more of an aircon.

It's a cruise.

There's no aircon, Brian.

Can we go back upstairs?I actually might need some aircon chops.Yeah, but you're acclimatised downstairs.

I'm acclimatised.

Yeah?So, you top bunk?

I'm going to top bunk.I don't mind top bunk.

Okay, I'll do top bunk.Right, I'm down.I'll do bottom bunk.Bottom bunk, yeah.

Alright.Okay, we've made it on.I think it's real.

Yeah, we're the good team.We've done it.

I think it's real.We are the good team.If anyone deserves this, it's Vikkstar.Wow.Casino Royale.

Oh, stop it.We go up again?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.This is insane.No.

The guy saw me look at Casino Royale and said, that's not good for you, my friend.

Carry on.This is the good team.Upon Joss Urquhart's card.

Yes.

I'm going to spend all of Joss Urquhart's money on this.

Yeah, come on.

By the way, my name is Sumil.

Welcome to the beautiful island of the seas.

And hold on, gentlemen.Before we explore this ship, how about a quick pit stop at the...Absolutely.

The more you booze, the better you cruise.Legend of the booze.

Well, if it gets too choppy for you and you feel seasick, tough, Got a five -hour journey, no stopping.Is that really what we're on?Yes.If there's an emergency, just jump overboard, swim to shore.Right.There's no lifeboat.

There is a lifeboat.

He said there was.No.No.No.Okay.It's right there.

That's our lifeboat.

Is that our lifeboat?

Yes.There's one lifejacket between you, so use it wisely.There's no whistle on it, so if you can't whistle, then - Was there meant to be any stops?

We're just doing a four and a five -hour fucking mission.

We're on a stint.for activities.We've got loving stuff ready for today.Oh, I'm excited.We've got food, we've got drink.Yeah!

That's exactly what we need.That's what we need.Come on.

Oh.

No, an envelope.

Thank you very much.This is very...It's a thick boy.

Is it a bingo list?

It's a whole story.He's written a novel.Ready?Okay.Welcome aboard the biggest cruise ship in the world, the Legend of the...I didn't know that.

There's so many options for things to do, but for now, you could try one of these.Oh, wow.

It's like a booklet.It's the biggest.

It's the biggest envelope I've ever seen.I got a 101 booklet.

Yeah.

He's written a paragraph about a book.Go check out the water slides on Deck 20.Listen to some tunes at the musical on Deck4. Catch a show at the theatre on Deck4. Watch a show at Ice Rink Deck5. Ice Rink?

I've never been ice skating.

But wait, what if the ice is..

.No, it's not water anymore, is it?It's frozen.What was it?What was the order?I've forgotten.

Beer, please.Are you having a beer?

I'll have a beer.You've got to have a beer.

And an apple juice.

Are you having a beer?

I'll have a Pepsi Max for now.Boring.This is a lad's holiday, mate.Don't you worry, though.

Yeah, yeah.He'll come alive.This cruiser will get loose eventually.Oh, mate, I'm feeling so loose and sick.I feel really sick.I actually kind of want to throw up.

What?It makes you feel better.You all right there, Jack?I might need a seasickness pill.That's me. I'll have a beer, please, mate.Thank you very much.

Oh, lovely.

Peroni.

This is orange juice.Cheers, mate.

Cheers, lads.Well, well, oh.Oh, that's that top you're talking about, yeah?

You've got a mouth like a giraffe on that thing.

You see that, yeah?Front lip got over it.

I've never seen that before.What's the bottom lip?Fitness centre, mini golf, sports bar.That's a bit of you.Champagne bubbles.Yeah, I'm just saying.

Coffee.Low key.Margarita.Karaoke.How many do you reckon we can get done?

Tacos.Go head to head in multiple games at the sports courts.Take a dip in the ship's largest pool.Rock climbing.Plunge.Workout.

Yeah.Drink, food, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.Yeah, we're going to go round and we've all got to say a part of a boat.

Yes.This game's sick.I'll go with the propeller.The stern.Yeah, nice.Hull.

The wheel.Yeah.The bow.The ports.Anchor.Cannon.

Yeah, you know what, fair.The sail.Food first?Yes, please.Oh my god.New invite from Josh.

Alright, okay.Is this how he does it now?No, no, no.

What's that?

Crown's Edge, 2 .30 to 3pm.Should we say going?I think hit him with a maybe.

We can't be too keen.Hit him with a maybe.

No, but I want to go.Hard to guess.

It's like hard to guess.

Do maybe.

He'll start going, are they going to go or not?

Just do maybe, but we're going.Yeah, no, I'll click maybe.I'll click maybe.He's a needy guy.People pleaser.People pleaser guy.

What is it?We don't know what it is.It doesn't say.That's why you click maybe.

Oh no, it's abseiling.A high octane rope course that goes out over the side of the ship.Oh, that's terrifying.

No, I'm done.

Abseiling out the other side of the ship.

I'm down.I got you.I got you, bro.All right, you're leaving me now.Oi, chat.I can chat to Zerkaa.

Nah, Zerkaa.You've gone mad.Thank you so much.Yeah, let me say something.Let me say something.You're a beg.

You ever know that?You're a beg.

Big head.Cutie.

Right, boys.Sorry to interrupt you.We're in the game there.Which one of you lovely gents wants to hold mine first?Oh, yeah.So we need one rod off here, we're going to go one rod off here and we're going to take you through what we're going to do, all right?

So who's going to come?I'm going to go this side over here.

All right, what are the chances of catching something with this?

Slim to none, okay, fantastic, okay.Come on.Let's see what luck you're going to bring in.What sort of fish do they have here?

A variety of, yeah, fishy fish, oily fish.Salmone.

Love a bit of salmone.I like how you've got a wide base and you kind of hump the...

Bro, because if I catch a fucking whale, I'm gone.How are you?Yeah.I like how it tells you what day it is.

All my days.What's going on here?New York, get on this level, bro.Your central park doesn't float.Isumi hibachi and sushi.Should we go for that?

Yeah, we got it.

How did we get here?

Who let us do this?We worked our arse off, man.Yeah?What's Jack Joseph done?Jack Joseph.Who's Jack Joseph?

Dickhead.Remember you told me that on the fucking thing, when you were like, from Essex, dickhead.Yeah, Jack Joseph, dickhead, bro.Crap at golf as well, by the way.Dickhead.Toby, bless up, bro.

You're safe.Harry?It's been so long.You fucking did it, bro.

Thank you.

Yes.It's been so...You let me hang in there.

Motherfuckers.

My God, he's pitching a tent.

Ready?

Yeah!

Ready, one, two, three, four.

All of Wettard is rolling free.Raise the sail and chase the wind across the open sea.

I've lost it, I've lost it, I've lost it.It's good, it's good, it's good.

You started speeding up too much.

I'll sit in the dinghy and tug behind.

Farewell, Harry.

See you, mate.Oh, yeah.Oh yeah, I can get behind this.

Yeah.Do you see any fish?Enjoy your beer.

It's quite nice being at like sea level.

So Odds and Ashes like releasing their rope.Oh, please no.You would have to pull me back in by the way.I've got no way of getting back.

That's what I rate about this crew, man.They don't give a shit.No, no, no.

It's the best.It's the best.

For the good sake, shoot higher, shoot higher, shoot higher.

Fucking hell, you fuck.I thought he was going to get me.I don't know.You're scaring away my fish.

Should I turn it off?Turn it, just do something bro.Now they pull it back or something.How is anyone meant to catch fish with this crew?I can't.Josh, you're scaring my fish away.

Simon's playing the hungry game.

One, two, three.

Your turn.No, I can't beat that.I'm going to miss. I'm going to miss.Come on.

I can't do it.

No, no, no.It's going to be bad.It's going to be bad.Do it again.He can do it.Do it again.

Do it again.He can do it.Oh.Oh, long range.

Would you mind pulling me back in, lads?

Nah.

Nah.I can't hear you.

Would you mind pulling me back in?

Yes, yes we mind.The signals.The light's just coming, so we're not going to bother.Can't hear a word you're saying, lad.If we pull you back in before lunch, there won't be any left for us.Honestly, mate, the signal's fucked over here.

Right, they forced my hand then.

Go on, I'll bring you back in.No, no, it's fine.That's a stupid idea, I think.That's not how pulling works.It's working, actually.I stand corrected.

Right, hold on.

Jesus.Oh, no, no, it's fine.Don't put your hand out now.

Oh, shit.

Fine.

There we go.

Well done.Yeah, thanks for the help, lads.Vic.Yes.Me and Harry are in one of the same group chats, right?Okay.

He's put a video in saying the life we deserve.He's being towed along, and he's the only one in the rubber dinghy.

Hey, there's worse days for it.But where are all his friends?In the big boat, probably, which is not that big.It's not as big as this boat.

No, not a chance.

If they ever surf simulator, Harry's deeply repressed.

Wow, this is so cool, man.Arcade?Wow.I know, this is nuts.I'm going to go nuts on them slides.Yeah.

Am I not in the slide?Yeah?No.No.Why not?Yeah, maybe.

It's like the biggest contrast that I think we've ever had on cheapest to expensive.

This might be top of my list of what I'm happiest to be on the good team.

Yeah.I'm with you.This is insane.I waited for this moment.So silly.I hate to pray for times like this.

We're on a boat.We're on a boat, by the way.

We are on a boat.Hey, boys.Yo.

Lunchtime.

Fish.You don't like fish, do you?

I hate fish.It's going to make me sick.Good.I love it.I'm here to try it.Do you want me to hand it in as well, yeah?

I'll have the ant plate.You can say that's ant on deck.

Do you want one without fish on it, maybe?Honestly, I'll have a fish.I'm not going to be a pussy -o.

Now that we're here, if you were on the bad team, what would you be saying?

I might leave.I'm charging up.

Yeah, this is nuts.

I'm charging up.

Oh, should we just jump in the slide?Where does it go?Where does it go?Oh, it just goes down there.Go on.Got my coffee.

I'll hold it for you.How hot do you reckon that is?

Let me show you how to peel a prawn mate.So grab it by its tail.Are you getting something out of me?You're going to find this grim as well, it's so funny.So grab its head.

You pull its head off like this.

You take its legs off?

Yeah, yeah.So take the head off first.Then you take the tail off.

Oh, that is so rank.It's got veins and shit.It's got poo on it.That is poo in there, yeah.Don't start with that.Why has it got poo in it?

It was living.

There's a poo tracked in it, but like, you can still eat it, bro.

Can I get rid of the poo?No, it was living.You can eat the poo.

Oh, bruv, it's got a whole fucking poo in it.Just eat the poo -poo.

All right, three, two, one.

Cheers.Cheers.I think that's the challenge.

I know you don't mind that.It tastes like meat.I don't know if I like it.

Oh, bruv.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You're fucking grim.

I'm sorry, I can't do it.I tried my hardest.Yo mate, how are you?Yeah, good, thank you.Whichever one, I don't mind.We'll go hard.

We'll go hard, why not?Let's go, Bez.Okay, sure thing.Sure thing.Let's see Bez do it.

Go bears!Go bears!Go bears!

Go bears!Go bears!Oh damn, that's hard.Right, bro.The fucking ding move.Oh, so close.

Oh, good shit.Mini golf!Yeah, let's do it.Let's do it, man.Yeah, whoever loses has to buy the drinks.Okay, sure.

I'm back!Answer me!

I came back for you!We live in a family together!Where have you been the whole time?I've been in the...I'm seasick.I was hiding myself.

Oh, nice to see you.Okay, we're back now.I got more activity today.Oh, lovely.Okay.You're ready for this, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.Toby's not ready.No, he's never ready.You're gonna be ready.

You guys...Clothes for you.

Yes!

Change of clothes for you.For me?

Thank you, sir.

What the fuck is in here?

What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing now?

Oh Jesus Mary and Joseph.Okay.Oh no, I know what's coming.

Fez for the bogey.

The booger.Oh.Man's in the dead zone.It's like this, mate.Oh.

Oh.I nearly read the blue.Big sigh.Yes.This guy's too good at everything, man.Sweat's ruined ocean mini golf for me.

Vic, go for Angelico.

Oh.Vic to make this the draw.Shit.Come on, big guy.

surprise for you guys okay guys here we go I've got someone for you Are you sure we have space to do this here?

Okay, so I am Kerry with an I, not a Y. I'm going to take you through some of the...

I'm Tony with an I, not a Y. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.Okay, we got any Zumba virgins?

I'm a Zumba virgin.

You're a Zumba virgin.

I'm a Zumba virgin.

A Zumba virgin.Any intermediates advanced?

I'm veteran.

Zumba veteran.Excellent.All right.Okay.Well, first of all, let's do a little bit of a warmup.So let's get them shoulders going.

Okay.

Spread out.Get those shoulders nice and loose, boys.

Oh my God.I've got another invite from Josh.You may have been wonderingwhat app I used to plan this trip with the boys and send them all of their activities.It is called Howbout.The shared calendar app that makes finding where everyone's free and planning with your friends absolutely easy.

If you download the app and add three friends, you'll be entered into our cheapest, most expensive giveaway.For the expensive side, we'll be picking three groups to win a 1 ,000 pound trial voucher to put towards your next trip.For the cheap side, 10 of you will each win a 50 pound exclusive voucher.Terms and conditions apply.So don't wait and download How About Now through the link in the description.

New invite from Josh.Flowrider surfing at 3 .30.Vic, you've been invited to do Flowrider at 3 .30.The musician?I don't think he swings that way.You've been invited to do Flowrider.

A 330.It's for the sponsored segment.

I have to do him.

Yeah.Who's top?Huh?Who's top?What?Who's top?

I don't get it.You said he has to do Flowrider.Yeah, the ride.Oh, the ride.Oh, the wave machine.Oh.

Vic, are you going to go?I will.I will go.All right.I'm marking Vic Star as going.I was going to say, Josh is putting weird stuff in my calendar for a second there.

Vic, you're on a good team, but you have to do a man.

We're going to take one leg.I'm going to cross it over this one.

You're off your head.On a boat.You are off your head.

Core.It's a great core workout.

Hold on.

And into a wobbly little bend.Hold your nose.If you start wobbling, I don't know why, but apparently it works.

Hold your belly button.

Mini -golf completedRock climbing completed.We've got drinks from a bunch of places.Now we've got this.Pound it.Noggin.

I don't know what that is.Dude, perfect.Oh, yeah, true.Is that what they use in their videos?

Ooh.Ooh.

Yeah, good to go.Players, watch out.I'm coming.This is pretty cool.I'm ready as I'll ever be.

That was a...

You like that?

Now let's turn this sauce around.One, two, to the side.

To the back.Hold on, what's going on?

Now both.

Big side, the falling guy.

I feel so bad for Harry.Look at this.I've never attempted this before.I can wake surf, but I cannot surf.I'm going to go get ready, attempt this.You're going to see me fall a lot and someone's probably going to send Harry the video and he's going to become deeply depressed.

I reckon Vik right now, he's doing some mad tricks on it.He's going to be stood like this, right?Because he's stood like this, holding a board.And he's going to do this.Yeah.Fix his hair.

Yeah.Squint a little bit.Yeah.Give us a little nod.Yeah.

And fucking jump on.

Oh, he's horrifying.Did you see the hand?Yeah, the hand.Yes, bro.How's he going to edit out the guy holding his hand, though?Oh, there you go.

Yeah.He doesn't like to shit himself.Look at that guy bro.Fuck it.

5, 6, 7, 8.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 1, 2, 3.1, 2, 1, 2, 3 Are you alright on your knees boys?What?

What do you mean by that?We're gonna go from here and we're gonna round the back to make a cow Oh cow first and then we're gonna Yeah, let's go back oh no, he's getting all right, oh look he's mugging.

He's mugging, right?

Oh, hey.

No, he's cool.

He's bored back.

I know

He's board maxing.

Bro told us, by the way.He said, oh no, we all have to go try surfing.Surfing.What's he doing here?What's he doing?Oh.

Oh god, he's just getting blasted.He's getting blasted by a big star spunk.He's all added.Ride that carpet, bro.Yeah.Yeah, again, again.

Yeah, it's Erling Harlan.Erling Barnum.Barnum.

We're good at this aren't we boys?

This is a classic.Row, row, row your boat.Row, row, row your boat.

Move, cow!Move cow, move cow.She's already dead bro, she's already dead.Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!

Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!

Row, row, row your boat!

Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!

Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!

Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!Row, row, row your boat!

Throw the fucking boats down.Throw the fucking boats.

And one last stretch out before we finish.And hands into the prayer position.Little bow.Thank you.Thank you very much, boys.Thank you.

You've been excellent.Thank you.

That was great.Thank you, Carrie with an I. You're very welcome.Thank you so much.

Yeah.Let's go.Yeah.Horror farm.We can edit the rope out.Yeah.

Oh.Yeah.How does he get out of this bus?He looks so serious.Yes!Really good but how does he get out?

Yeah!Yeah!

Ready for more activity?Yeah, yeah, yeah.Carry and treat you well, yeah?Yeah, lovely.The next activity is going to be even better.Okay.

Guys, I introduce you to my boy, Tommy.Oh, boxing.

Here we go now.Oh, shit.

Today, I'm going to be taking you through a little bit of mixed martial arts.Oh, good lord, okay.We're going to do some boxing.We're going to do some Muay Thai.Oh, f**k it.Honestly, one hand.

Pressure point, I would have let him.One pressure point, he would have let me.See, imagine this is me, Madison Square Garden, right here.Go on, go in.Yay.All right.

Could he go 1 -0 up?He won't.Washed.1 -0!1 -0.It just sort of gets to you when you can't make a shot.

Oh, no!Okay, you go first.Pressure makes diamonds.Go on.What pressure?Pressure?

Food pressure.Three, two, one, let's go.

Jab.Jab.

That's it.Double jab.Double jab.Triple jab.

Quadruple jab.Double jab cross.Jab.Double jab cross hook.

Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.

Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.

Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.

Jab.Jab.

Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.

Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.Jab.

Jab.Oh my god, it wasn't!And now I've got a drink!What?You can make this.You can make this.

That's my man.

Three, one.Horror.I need a volunteer.I'm going to get the one who's most fucked.Jack, come here.

Honestly, I ain't fucked.

I'm just taking a breather.I need you in the space.Let's go.Right.Face that way, seat yourself that way.What you're going to need, firstly, is back control.

So, you're going to need...You're going to need...You're going to need one leg in and the other leg in, so your feet are on the hips.Lay with the hand under the chin.I'm going to feed it under.You want your elbow underneath the chin.

I'm going to bring this arm over, slide it up, connect to this one, and then we're going to squeeze.and he's got to tap or he's going to sleep.I won't reply too much because he's not going to tap.So, pair up.We're going to try it on each other and I'll watch you do it.

All right, go on.Harry, I've said a prayer for you, mate.Thank you, bro.Oh, Jesus.

Dip the arm right underneath his chin.

I'm going to fall off this thing.

Elbow underneath.Nice.Good, good, good.Shoulders up to your knees.

I'm the only one that's not ticklish.This is a nightmare!

There you go boys and that'll wrap us up for our activity number two today.Alright boys.Yes bruv.Shots are there.Cheers.

Damn.

Yeah that was a double.That was a double.So why was mine a double?You chose that.

Just because we're brothers in arms.Yes.

Hoorah.

Shit!I'm scared!He's going to whip out, he's going to unload.What?I'm one of these.What do you mean by that?

Fucking hellfire.This is what I thought.We're not having a great day.At least we're going to forget about it.We are having a great day though.You're having a great day?

I want to remember this day.You want to remember this day?Yeah.So now we're going to make some cocktails.

What the fuck, what's that?I don't know.

Okay.Well, what's your favorite cocktail?Ooh.I don't have a specific one, but I do like, I really like tequila.Okay.I like pineapple.

Okay.And I like jalapenos.Say anything with that in it.Make it.

Make it and let me know how you taste it.

Okay, fine, I will.Do you reckon this goes in a cocktail?What is that?Straight in there a bit.

What is that?That looks like pasta.

What even is that?I've never seen something that looks more like sick in my life.Jalapeno rojo.By the way, Ethan, Simon's won everything we played today.

Do not let him win this game.Is it golden goal?It's golden goal.He's so long.His legs are everywhere.I think you need a rebounder.

You need a rebounder off the lid.

Maybe.

This is the dream.

We have to go off with it.Bro, I'm not gonna lie, I thought I was getting twat in the face.

That was unreal.Practically megged him.Mate, you megged him as well.

I have to take a tonsil out, love.Take a tonsil out.It looks like I've cummed in the bar.You trust me.Bro, it looks better than mine.

I'm trusting you.Trust me, this is gonna be the best thing you've ever tried.Have you ever cummed in a bar tub?Bro, it's mad, innit?

You put some ice in it.Yeah.And now we're gonna shake it.It's gonna be good, trust me.Yeah?Here you go.

Josh, do you wanna try it?Let me know if it's good to go or not, maybe.

Me?

Or anyone.

Why am I like your beta tester?

want to drink that shit, bro.

What in the jalapeno is it?

It's the pizza thing.Be careful with it now.

It could be worse.Really?Yeah, I mean, it's a spicy.Give me flowers.Spicy cuddles, sick.Yeah, I agree with that.

All right, fishies.Imagine.Get poisoned.

You poisoned the fish.

I think I've killed half the wildlife in Italy now.

How are we going to fish now?It's going to go back in the water supply and fuck everyone up.

Oh!He's gone.He's gone.

That's sick.

What is it, the ice rink?Yeah.Let me see.The fact that this is on a fucking ship is a challenge.

Are you mad?Are you mad?Are you actually mad?

What else can you do?

Oh, great.

I might have to come with my child.And wife, of course.That's pretty cool.Do you want to try my cum?

Quite frankly, no.I'll try it.Okay, fine.I made it myself.

Don't do it to yourself, by the way.

I joked it in the bath and it...

Lovely.Tell me that ain't banging.Don't even fake it, because you know that's banging.Same mums.Same mums.Mums.

Mums.It's pretty good.

And same mums it's dead.The straw makes it nicer, I think.Smoother.It's like an espresso martini colada.

Yeah.

It's actually all right, you know.

You see what I'm saying?Have a go on that stuff.

Don't love the bit of kitchen roll over it, but it's fine.

It's so no one spikes you.

I'm going to go mad.I'm going to win everything.I'm going to go mad.I really like that.Everything is just an automatic door.Wow.

Oh, I'm overstimmed already.Oh, my days.All right, wait, no, no, no.Can we get one card and just max it out?

Editor, please, please edit bullets coming out of this.Otherwise I look stupid.

Fucking hell, mate.Odds on.

Odds on.Are you in your intrusive thoughts?

Like we have like a little, how do you do it?This.Mate, it comes out like a fucking rocket.Exactly.Come closer though.Come, come, come, come, come, come.

You almost drowned.You almost drowned.

You crazy people.You want some?Gone.

Can you see it?

Lower, lower.It was so obviously high.He went on from my nose.Come here.He gets back on your nose.Everything back over me.

You didn't need to do that.

There was no need.

Go here.

Thank you for the good review, guys.I got a little present for you.It's yours.

Figure it out.As a foot pump, take it in turns.

Or would you put it in the sink?

No.

When it stops.Put it in the front of the boat.Sink.No.Nah.That ain't sink.

I'm willing to pay.I'll give you a £10 bet.

If he inflates that and slides it, it's sinking.

He wants some pussy.But if it's going to get full of water, as soon as a human sits in it, it's going to fucking go down and it's going to be full of water and it's going to sink.

All right, cool.Let's do it.

Bro, it's going to sink.It's going to go like a rock.Bro, he's going to sit in it.It's going to go down.It's the same as that.That's air.

It's a fucking plastic bottom dinghy, no chance.

All right, me and Bez.Yes.I'm currently going up.We're racing each other on the storm chaser.We're going to race each other.I don't know what the slide even is. I feel like I should do my shorts up.

This is a bit of a vibe.This is a vibe.I can see this area.Wow.Yes, we need that.I want that.

One of the hot tub ones that I've bathed.Oh, that would be moving.Oh, my days.There's one theory for going down this storm chaser.We're racing.He's chosen orange.

Yes.One of them might just be way faster.True, yes.I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.

I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.

I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.I'm gonna win.

I'm gonna win.I'm puddling.I'm puddling.There we go.Now we're getting the point.Now we're getting the point.

Now we're getting the pace.You're whack.

I stopped.You stopped?I physically wasn't moving.I suppose we've got to test it.I'll take my socks off, actually.

Go for a nice skinny dip.

See you on the flippity flip.Mate, honestly, this is the life, isn't it?The bloody life.Mate, honestly, that is so refreshing.Listen, I know it looks a bit dire, but honestly, this is class.You boys are missing out.

Bloody brilliant in there.Yeah?

How solid is that?Bloody solid.

Fill it up, lad.OK.Wait, let me help.Is it better now, the paddling pool?Yeah, you getting some swimming in there?Oh, you're in the deep end, bro.

You're in the deep end.I think Jack's busy right now.He's in the deep end.

How much of the drinks did he have?

I'm not drunk.I'm so cold, so cold.Honestly, this is genuinely nice.

So refreshing.What's so nice about it?The breeze is nice.I'm enjoying the breeze a lot.Jack, fear not, there's a treat coming.

Fuck me. I cleaned out the bin, don't worry.Cleaned out the bin?Jack, you're going to put bin water.

No, it's a bit of bin juice.

I ripped the bin twice.There's literal bin juice on the sides.You can see the bin juice.There's bits floating in it.Nah, nah, nah, nah.Nah, I'm gonna go mad, it's alright.

It looks cleaner than I thought it would.There you go, see, it's fine.

Is that better?Jesus, we killed him.So what we saying?Boys, is this the pay to win lobby?Pay to win.Legends only.

Legends of the sea only.

Come up to the floor, deck 17.Deck 17.Oh, I might have to get a little, a little bevy.

What am I doing with this when I could be drinking lemon water, bro?Limone, bro, put this down.I'm living the suite life now.Level 17.You can tell we're in an exclusive area by the looks we're getting from everyone.Disgraceful.

Cretinous YouTubers.How dare they?And I agree, honestly.Send us out of here.Put us back on the water slide.We don't deserve this.

Little Bevy.Me and Beverley getting busy.

Three, two, one.

Flipping it.

For a bad team boat or a cheap team boat, it's not bad at all.We've got a towel there.It's a great time.

That thing's floated all day long, bro.It's lovely.All right, owe you 20 quid then, Louie.Fair play.

I 40 now with two people in it.

when josh gets it i was thinking i can like just pierce this with my finger i'm gonna pierce it like underneath i'm gonna get it yeah come on by the way i think it's going to get you get in by the way well it's already it feels more full let me see the water you put in but it feels more full already i don't think to distract you though let's jump straight into it no don't jump in just jump through the bottom no no no we gotta make it fair we gotta make it fair I'm kind of scared about how this is going to go.go.

Well according to everyone else it's going to float so we'll see.Don't jump in, don't jump in.You're on the wrong side then.

Hang on.

Oh shit.Oh shit.Oh shit.I think he's not going to commit to it.What?Alright.

Yeah we're in.Are we in?We're in, we're all right.There we go.All right, now we...Look, it's not a two minute timer.

I think we're cooked in here.

We're definitely taking on water.Now we're fine, we're fine, we're fine.How do we get out of this?

It's getting deeper.It's not getting deeper, I think we're fine.No, it's not deeper.Is it?Yeah, because I'm fully submerged now.

Oh, shit.No, we're good, we're good, we're good.This was never a good idea.I mean, I'm still floating technically.The bottom just ripped entirely.We're alive.

Oh, hello, bastards.Oh, you scumbag.Hello, how are you?

Hello.Are you guys near the sea?Yeah, we've been in the sea.We just need round.These guys have got their own ocean here.

Hello, boys.Oh, hello, lads.Hello.

You alright, mate?Nice.

Do you want to see what just happened to us, by the way?We tried to go out in a dinghy.

Did it sink?Well, yes, pretty much.I've had too much food.

You look like you've got a nice bit of deck in there, though.Yeah, Harry, give us a tour of your boat.Give us a tour.We've got a table here.

Yeah, this looks, ah, this is lovely.