SIDEMEN ULTIMATE USA ROAD TRIP

Today, we're in Texas.

Welcome to Texas.

To experience the biggest, most chaotic road trip we've ever done.Together, we will embark on a journey across the Lone Star State, encountering good, the bad.It's like crazy taxi.It's like fake taxi.And the ugly.Testing our friendship.

Not sure I share your enthusiasm, mate.

Please welcome to the mound, Bazinga.

In the Wild West, nothing ever goes according to plan.We are here at the home of the USGP Circuit of the Americas.We're in Texas, heading all the way to Dallas.We have two teams to start us off on today's video.You three are together in the Vesvani.The Cyberbeast.

We've got a nice lap on the Circuit of the Americas.Just don't speed.You're not Landon Norris.You're not Lewis Hamilton.I'm no bum.Harold Nino.

Okay, yeah.Respect.All right.Shotgun the back.How do you open it?Oh my God.

How do you get in?What button?It's like a bit of magic.I've opened it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's well weird.Oh God.I mean, it's less big inside than I thought.Honestly, I think it's that massive car Nexos has put us on.

I should drive Nexos.Yeah, and you are, my friend.The wheelchair is you.Mr. Resvani has arrived.

Come on then.Mr. Resvani.No, because people believe that's your name.Yeah.What is this car?Oh, it's a big old door.

This thing big.It's a unit.We have an envelope guys.

Look at the space.I want one of these bro.An envelope.Can I?Drive to Davis Spring Disco.I love it.

The gold boys.

You can't see out the back of this car.We've got a triple head up display.Sidemen.

Look at the fucking size of that window!Get out, you can film that!It's a dinosaur!

It's a BBC window.Jesus Christ!

Drive two, Alan's Boots.Smoke screen, pepper spray, shocking doors.Apparently there's a rail gun in the boot.

You know what?I don't know if you're making that up or not.

No, this is Gorilla Warfare, bro.

Be careful of the grip.the grip i'm in a fucking cyber beast bro no v you're you're racing lines all over the cafe i don't do you know what we're not racing so what oh you pull that well you know be careful shall i stabilize Vikk, get out!And then a little touch on this, a little twist.Oh yeah, he's learning.Keep it right, keep it right.You've only got the inside.

No, no, no, you drift to the right.

If I do this, you have to slow down.

You've got to protect your space.Can you guys stop hogging the camera?It's actually disrespectful.

Yeah, that's another failure.No, you're turning in too early here, bro.

No, but I'm just trying to get on camera, man. I'm trying to get screen time.He's being performative.

Get me on camera.

Yeah, look at me driving, bro.Look at me driving the big America truck.

Oh yeah.

Right, well, no one died.We'll take that.

We survived.

And it's P2 for Stuntman!Yeah, good lap.Good lap, bro.Good lap.First ever podium, let's go.

Hey, camera, look at Josh.

What?

Fuck me.Fuck me.Fuck, man.See, that's not safe, having that kind of fucking torque on it.There's no need for that.No, no need.

No one needs to go that fast at any point.

All right.Do we have strobe lights going on right now?You know the ones that like you would catch a paedophile with?Yeah, yeah, yeah.You have that.Oh, okay.

Yeah, go on.Go on.Go on.It's him.It's him.

What's in there, car?

They got the rail gun and everything.

Oh my God.Oh, this is the flamethrower.Shut up, bro.Holy smokes.

This is a boner.

Oh, yeah.Oh, you can fit anything in there.You can fit a body in there.You can fit three.We figured out what this is good for.Get in there, mate.

Yeah, yeah.Disc golf, please.See you in a bit, lads.

Fuck!What's happening?Look what's in our boot, man.Oh, man!

Jamie, disc golf, please!Disc golf!There you go.Oh!

Wow, I've got a panoramic roof.

Oh, you can tailgate it.That's why the boot is so big.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Have fun, guys.Give me a yee -haw.Yee -haw!

All right, off we go to Alan's Boots.

Alan's Boots.What is Alan's Boots?

Well, from the small image I saw on Google Maps, it is a boot shop.

Bro's having a shocker.Boomer tries to work car.I'd say it's a bad car.Nah, it's you.You've managed to break it.break it.

You can work it out.

I don't know how you've got to this.I'm being quite truthfully honest.I'm wrong.I think my wife might want me to be a car boy.What the fuck is that?Is that some kind of cosplay shit?

What's going on?

Yeehaw.When someone clicked this video and they saw a Texas road trip, you'd expect sun, boiling hot.It looks like the UK and it's big.

Nah, you'll get there.

It is hot still though.We'll get some sun.There was flash floods last night where we were going, wasn't there?Maybe we're just having a fun game of disc golf and there's nothing on the line.

Oh, why did you even speak that into existence?I didn't even think of that.

It's like a cheap defensive team.No, no, we're playing disc golf just to play disc golf.

Or, unless we had a forfeit to it, if you lose, you get frisbeed at.Deal, deal.If you was going to be a cowboy, what would be your cowboy name?

What is the cowboy name?

I'm gonna figure it out.

Oh, can I be Sheriff Star?Sheriff Star, do better than that bro.

Alright, your first name initial, so T. You could be Saddlebag.Your birth mum, Saddlebag.What's your birth mum?April.Saddlebag Star is your actual name.You're Rusty.

And then, when's your birthday?August.August.You're rusty.You're Rusty Crockett.I'm Rusty Crockett.

Yeah, I'm Ranger Dalton.Ranger Dalton, I like that one.Mine sounds the most actual.Ranger Dalton.But you're Saddlebag Star.

Oh, wait, that's the flag.Yeah, that's the Tesla line.That's Tesla thingy.Yeah.

Wait, is that like the super plate?

They make them all?I don't know.That is huge.It's called Texas Gig, no, no, Tesla Giga Texas.Yeah.That's a giga chat right there.

Giga chat.

Giga Texas.Rusty Crockett might be the best one.I like Rusty Crockett, you know.Oh damn, Rusty Crockett just arrived.Oh, Rusty Crockett.Crockett came back to my woman.

Hey, girl.

Glasses.

Try those sunglasses on me.There's a safe in the car.That's kind of sick, actually.There's a safe right there.Wait, wait, say something.Speak, speak, speak.

Howdy.Oh, it comes out the car.Speak to these people in red.

Howdy, red car.

Tell you like their tunes.

Loving the tunes, dog.He's not looking.No.Say it loud.

No, I'm scared.I'm looking screaming at the car.Don't scream at him.

Hey, hey, hey.

What the?

Look at this.

Oh, my God.

Oh, we are bot.He's a bot.We are driving the bot.I don't even feel it.

These things scare me here because, like, see the car in front of us, right?

If that stacks it, like, that's just going over.Down, yeah.Like, it's just going off the edge.There's no... 50 feet down.Yeah.Even if we go into the side, if we flip it, we're finished.

We won't know because Simon's driving us.

Oh no, I've got faith.

If I was driving, I'd be worried.Exit for Waco.Waco.Waco.Waco.

Waco's the place.

Place.

Waco's the place.

What place?Harry, talk.It's the best place in the world.Why?It's got a surfing thing.And it's got a big water slide, Waco.

I've seen this on Google before.It's also got flash floods.Oh, for fucking fuck's sake.Weird old place, isn't it, America?You know, I've been thinking that as well.I don't know if I can trust these lot.

Oh, wait, do you even have to press the button?You don't even have to press the thing.Officer it was not me. I'm not a qualified police officer.

You can almost feel the buzz.Oh, Pomerlane.Look out, there's some frisbees flying through the air.

Is there even a sport in the UK at all?Yeah, there's golf courses, yeah.

Is there?

Not many, but there is a couple.

God, I have no idea how - You're good, you're very good at this.I have no idea how wide this car is.

Tobi, why is it when you're driving, a little pop -up comes up to the school zone ahead.He's not just did that.Oh, you wanna go there, Vik?

Because one of us has a track record.

And it's not me.What's that?

That's a good sign.Oh my God.Here we go.Look, look, Davis Spring.

All right.I can see Alan's boots in the distance.Can you?Oh, I can see it too.Alan's boots with the Dallas, Dallas, Austin skyline in the background.Oh boy.

We going to be dripped out.

Nice.Oh, good stuff.

Wow.

You drove that.You were driving that.I'll give you that.Where is it?Let us loose.

You have five minutes to make the most American outfit in Alan's boots.Your time starts now.Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.Hello, how are you?There's a couple of different ways we can go, bro.I need more camera stuff.This is a bit of me right here.Jeans shorts.

Should I get these jeans shorts, bro?

This place is massive.I'm going to get the jeans shorts.

I'm getting the jeans shorts, bro.Five minutes isn't enough.

There we go.Oh, this is the one, yeah.So look.We've got a par four.It's up there, so...I'm just going to get through here.

So you go through that.and then it goes round to the left.

Okay.626 yards.It can't be.

I think it's feet.

I'm just going to go straight through here.

Just through our tree there.And I see no way this goes forward.Okie dokie.Here we go.Bamzooie!Oh no.

That's what I'm saying everyone's going to do.Alright well, okay.We're off Eli.It's not dead, it's not dead.I can see it, yeah, yeah.It's findable.

If it was thrown from inside the bush.That was good.Yeah, it's got through.That's what I'm saying.You can get stuck in a tree.Oh!

Oh, it's turned left.Oh, it went really far left.

Should I do this or should I go more cowboy, cowboy?Drip or jam?No, you're dripping, man.Is this?

Yeah, yeah, you're dripping, bro.

Trying to decide what to wear.So many options.How would you start?If you were to pick an outfit, which would you start with?Boots first.Audi.

Audi motor.We'll get that.Where's the hole?

Oi lads, what is this?Wait, where are we?Can I ask where the hole is?It was straight.I've figured it out.Okay, okay.

I understand it now.Oh, he does understand it.

Oh.

It's all right.It was actually close to being good.I like your work.It's just directly in the tree.Right, start the two minute timer.I see it, I see it, look, it's here.

Oh, he's got it.Oh, you got miles.Oh my God.You donkey.I'm going to whip this thing.Bah!

Oh god, I'm so sorry.

Oh no, I've almost killed you.I'm so sorry.Oi, I tell you what, it flew at a nice trajectory.You said sorry so quickly.Hello, squirrel.Oh, look at the little squirrel.

You make it turn left.

I got this fit, bro.I think I might just cop that fit, you know.

Look how big this hat is.Why is everything huge?I'm not meant to exist.Wait, I can't lie.

You look like you charge $30 on the corner, bro.You look like a $30 whack right now, bro.I can't lie.All right, it looks like you'll find him on the corner, bro.I like these.These feel good.

Two minutes to go, Ethan.Yeah, two minutes.Okay, let me just get out of these.Wait, I need a belt.Help me find a belt.I want one of these pretty belts.

It's a big buckle.I'm not sure you will.

Stop!

Stop!If I just sat, I could have placed it.

Josh for the win.

No!Come on!No pissing on my bum!

What happens if you both get this in?sudden death, like a chip off.We go further away and it's closest to the pin.Should we go at the same time?

Yeah.

Yeah.Give us a countdown.Three, two, one.Bro.Oh my God, I missed.

I could have literally done this.

Well, you didn't.All right.We have to hit you.I think you'd better go like this.And we'll chuck it from just here.

I'm gonna do it at the same pace I threw it into the thing.

You go a little bit harder.Yeah, enough to make it look like it's...Yeah, don't go as hard as you can.No, of course not.Go a little bit harder.Yeah, I'll welly it, yeah.

What?Oh no.Sorry, I'm sorry.

I thought it would slap.It was just a thud.

You floored him.You floored him instantly.

That was straight on the thigh.

In that hole.

Ah, not the hole!Oh, yes.Solid shot.

Solid shot.That's like proper fun.It's so much harder.Yeah, it does look like a big old fun, doesn't it?Yeah.It's a fun sport.

Okay.

Thank you very much.Yeah.Thank you.You too.Lovely to meet you guys.Take care.

Thank you.Bro, how the fuck did you fit in here?

Without me.We are looking very American and our next envelope's

drive to the little long hall little long horn saloon now not to alarm you both yes when i got in the car this was on my seat oh envelope man oh can i have it what's the envelope say it says Follow the production car to a secret location.Okay.Is that the production car right there?

Yeah.Okay, now.Are these even mosquitoes?What are they?They're massive.You know what else is massive?

What?

We have seatbelts on, guys.Sorry, I've got to put my clothes on first.I can't lie to you.I feel kind of hot.

You look good, bro.

I feel kind of hot.

He came out of that store strutting your shit.

I kind of feel hot right now, guys.

Don't start roleplay with us, Ethan.We don't need it.

Tell you what, my socks are soaking.

Yeah, I just looked at my sock.

I reckon, do you reckon they'll do socks at the gas station?

Nah.Yeah, they'll do everything.You reckon?Gas stations are diffy.Hats, sunglasses, all sorts.

Okay, I'm on that.These jeans do be a little bit tight.

Yeah, I can't lie.

My fucking thighs, bro.They're holding me in the right places, though, bro.We're sexy.

We're here.

We're at 7 -Eleven, boys.Oh, yes.

It's like Thailand all over again.Oh, my God.I'm going to get slushy.Should we do like a 7 -Eleven challenge?I might get a little something from here, you know.What's a something something?

I'm undecided at this point, but maybe something.We're going in.Slushies look good at that corner.

Ooh, Uno Minecraft.Ooh.

I might get a slice of pizza.I'll get one slice of pizza and you get one of them.7 -Eleven pizza.You know how this works, one bite, one bite only.Oh, okay.I'm not going to lie, mate, it looks a bit naff, but...

Yeah, it does.Do you want a wing?

No.

Yeah?7 -Eleven chicken wing, come on.It's ours.It's ours?Okay, nice.

See, the thing is, there's not one other person dressed like this apart from in that store.

Yeah.

Is this like...You're laughing.I'm laughing hard, bro.Laughing so hard right now.

I will say, lads, I've also solved the sock problem.You're gonna need to put the gloves on your feet.What a treat.I'm also drying my socks from within.Do we hang it out the window?Oh, yeah.

Oh, no.Don't chuck my sock out, please.Hang this one out as well, please.Fuck, I'm moving.

Hot, I'm sexy, I'm driving in America.I'm a fucking cowboy.

What, what do you want?

I need a horse now.

You've got about 600 horses under the bonnet here, bloke.

I need a horse.Oh wait, who got 500 energy?Not me.Not me.Vikk's is tired fast.200 milligrams caffeine, I reckon.

We play a game.To do one.To do one.I'm not opposed, you know.Just be rattling.There's one person buzzing the whole video.

Alright.Yeah, I'm on it, I'm on it.The next person we see, we literally just say, pick someone.Yeah, okay.And that's it.

Whoever it is, just do it.Okay, I'm on it.Oh, here we go.

Oh wow, this is an interesting looking saloon.

It's a proper saloon.

Mobile chicken shit bingo.

Interesting.

Don't read too much into it.It says this is the honkiest, tonkiest bar in town.

What does that mean?Time to bloody go.Alrighty.Heavy doors.Heavy doors.Very, very heavy.

Oh my god, it's hot.Where have they dropped us?I feel like I have to walk like a cowboy now.Well, I'll be.

Well, well.I think I've figured out where we are.Ah, is this Elvis?It is.Is it?What's that?

It is.It's a lovely animal sanctuary owned by Maya Higa.

Ah.

Twitch streamer.Second most subscribed Twitch channel right now.Really?Yeah.Wow.But she's here as well.

Is she?We're going to get a little tour.We're going to meet some animals.

Aw.Aw.

Does she find this herself?I do enjoy the streams.We might meet some really fine wolves, Harry.I'm well excited for this thing.

Welcome to Texas!How are you?Lovely to meet you.Hello, Ethan.Nice to finally meet you, Vik.What the fuck?

Tell me.What the hell?What's up, man?How are you, bro?Bro, you guys smell like leather.That's crazy.

Yeah, that's me.You didn't get the boots.Okay.I love it.Yeah, you guys are all looking really good.I love the hats.

Thank you.Dude, this is all brand new, isn't it?Yes.

We haven't worn it in at all.

You don't usually wear this kind of...

Dude, I swear, I walked in there, I'm like, I'm going to be the least Texan in this room.It's so funny.How are you guys feeling the boots?Yeah, they're quite expensive.Yeah, they are.They're very expensive.

Oh, those are $600.Dude, I'll take them if you want.

Yeah.As excited as I am for this, the animals.Yeah.I'm excited to find out who's doing the synergy shot.Oh, yeah.Bring the shot.

Bring the shot.

Whoa.

Hi, I'm Simon.Nice to meet you.Hello.Josh, how are you?

Nice to meet you.Thank you guys for coming.

Thank you.Liz?I don't think you can get out.Irene?

I can't get out.Hello.

How are you?What the hell are you doing?Yeah, my socks got wet.Nice to meet you.How are you?Nice to meet you too.

What the hell are you doing?I'll put these on in a second.Don't worry.Yeah.Before we go anywhere, can you just pick one of us?

For what?

We just had a random bet.Okay, not that guy.Okay.We bought an energy shot and no one wanted it.It's like a five hour energy shot.

Great, chug it.

You got out of it because you're a freak.She's scared of you already.Done in one.

I think that was fun.

20 milligrams of caffeine.Yeah, a bit much.Yeah, good stuff.Back to normality.

Great, you look great.Thank you.Nice.

Show you guys how we do it in Texas, all right?Yeah, okay.I'm really intrigued.All right.Oh, wow.Go on, gentlemen.

Thank you.Go on in.Thank you, Marcus.Oh, wow.Wow, wow.Oh, this is really cool.

I feel at home now.

How are you?That's it, bro.I like this.

Hold on.Hold on.

None of us are from Texas, by the way.He's the real Texan.Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You would never guess.

You would never guess.

So what you're saying is they're overdoing it.They're trying a bit too hard.They're laughing too hard.

People we know, we're comfortable.Start saying y 'all yet?Y 'all.

Welcome to Alvea Sanctuary, guys.I'm really excited to introduce you to some animals today.Do you know what this is?

Yeah, we do.

I don't know what's going on really.

He's our local freak.

So I'm Maya, I'm the founder and executive director here.It's an animal sanctuary and conservation education zone.So we rescue animals and then teach people about them.

Fun.

So today you're learning, I'm teaching you about them.Who wants to be blindfolded?

Him.Yeah, go on.I shouldn't be, because...He shouldn't.Okay, I'll be blindfolded then.Oh, because you're not.

Are we playing bingo?

Yes, we're going to be playing bingo.Okay.So according to Terry, she's the best.She says they do this every Sunday.Okay.You get a chicken.

You put a chicken in here, and if you have the chicken poop on your card, that's bingo.

Okay.A chicken is involved.Chicken shit bingo.Oh, it makes sense.It's literal.Wow, I didn't expect it to be literal.

I mean, they're pretty straightforward here in Texas, I feel like.It's chicken shit bingo.

We don't have expressions.We just mean it.

He's okay with bugs.Yeah, I don't mind bugs.

What if it's a really big bug?

I don't know.Maybe there's probably a limit to the size of bug I like.Oh, that's strong.

I'm going to give the bug to Josh.And then Josh is gonna put it in your hands.Harry, before we do this though, it's alive, so you cannot throw your hands in here.

Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I'll keep still.

Are you sure?

You should give it to him, you're the expert here.

No, I think you have to hold it.Okay.Where do I hold it from?I'm not gonna lie, it's a door.Just, there you go, perfect.

I'm very happy I'm not involved in this.

Thank you for facilitating.All right, Harry.

Put your hands all together.Have them up, maybe up.Yeah, and flat.Yeah, don't don't like flick it Sorry That wasn't me Just don't like throw it There's the bug That's a toy, what is that?What are we doing here?It's not a live animal Is it?

What is that?What is it?

Why did you roll it?

You got me I'm gonna bring you an actual bug Oh, okay.

Harry, can I ask a favor?Yes, ma 'am.Do you happen to have any alcohol for these two gentlemen here out there?

I can't go on my own.

He's driving.I told you he can drive.I can drive.

I told you he can drive.

I'll have a beer.

Old bar, simple drinks like, you know, Sprite, vodka.

How about just a lovely beer?

This is a venomous bug.

Right.

This is a scorpion.

I thought you said venomous straight away.Yeah, venomous has kind of put me off a little bit.

He's a venomous bug.It's an emperor scorpion.His name is Tortellini.He's a baby.This is his baby book.So this is how they grow.

They kind of grow like snakes do.So they molt their exoskeleton.And this was him when we got him in 2021.And this is him today.But he'll get to be like the size of my hand.Well, that's how big he'll get behind you there.

Not my size, I was going to say.

Do you guys want to see a cool thing about scorpions, actually?

Yeah.

There's a button on the top of this light.You can go over the top.Scorpions.

What?No.They glow in the dark.

Yeah.

What would be the reason for that?

We don't know.What we do is people donate funds worth a ticket like $2 or $5 or $10 and then once we sell a set we're set.Then we put the chicken on the board.Wherever she picks a number and a little chicken's picking away, which means she's going to poop on the board.Whoever has that number wins the pot for that color.Okay, lovely.

Winning numbers right here.Get a good look.

Okay, let's go meet some emus.

Are they friendly, these things, yeah?

Yeah, they're cool.

Yeah.

There are three of us.They're nice.We have two emus.Their names are Stompy and Nolly.This is Stompy coming over.Stompy!

Hello!

He's a dinosaur.

That is a dinosaur, isn't it?

Yeah, actually.I am kind of terrified.

Are you?

Yeah, that thing will mess your day up.

So Stompy was the first animal that we rescued here in 2021.His dad abandoned his clutch of eggs at the zoo he was at, so he was incubated and then raised by people.

Right, YouTuber chicken shit bingo.When it drops the first chip, whoever's number is closest wins.They get everything.Okay.Let's do it that way, otherwise we're going to be here all day watching the chicken shit.I don't know what you guys are doing here, but personally I want to hit the road.

This chicken's name is Emmylou Harris.She's my oldest chicken.She's my oldest chicken, so she knows exactly what she's supposed to do.I'm gonna let her do her little thing.43, Emmylou.And pick the number that she's gonna do in her own little special way.

42 on the left.

There you go, Emmylou.

There you go, Emmylou.Nowhere to go.I feel like I'm in Jurassic Park.

Do you not feed Noli?

sure yeah go on take and then you can hold it in your hand and then she'll take it from you the fact you're doing that is scaring me no she just oh is it quite like good job she won't hurt you it's just scary yeah did she like headbutt you yeah it's like uh oh no you're actually pretty good at that she's nice terrified little pov shots that i've got this is a very strange encounter she's like as tall as you actually i know that's what i'm like wow like side by side posted up could a child ride one um me like a baby sized up right now you know where to go emmy 43 higher up 39 so she's gonna keep going how many times is she gonna shit she they eat and shit on that baby

There we go.

Good job.

Congrats, Ethan.Hey, Emmylou.Thank you so much for shitting on my number.My name's Ethan.I'm from Essex in England, and I'm going to spend my winnings at Burkitt's.I'm called Nobby.

Nolly.Nolan.Nolly.Nolly.

Nolly.

Nolly.Nobby.Nolly.Oh my gosh.They do run funny.

They can run like 30 miles an hour, which is what beat us in a race easily.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.

Yeah.That's unreal.

You want to hug him?That'd be unreal, but I'll help you kind of go in for a hug.Like it's a person, but it's a giant bird.

Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.

Oh my God.

That's sweet.It feels warm as well.I really want to do it.That was like quite a cool life experience.

I'm terrified.

No, it's really nice.Honestly, look.

Oh, nice.Stompy.

This is the best thing ever.How do I get out?Like any hug?

Yeah, just kind of.Oh, that was just like any hug.

Wow.That was so cool.You're going for it, Harry, on that.OK.Wow.A little cuddle, maybe.

So nice, Stompy.

What is this segment 19 back it up just a smidge 47 let's go.You got to do this for me Congrats Vic

I actually used to have a pet chicken called Stevie.

And this is the fox enclosure, so we're going to go into here.OK, so this is Finn and Reed.These are two foxes.

That's not a fox on the right, by the way.

It is.

That's not a fox.

It is.

That's not a fox.

That is a strange.That's not a fox.

I promise you.

Wow, you're actually really cool looking.Wherever you found that thing, put it back.It has like elements of a wolf and a pig and everything all together.I don't hold it up like this.That's great.

You're a lovely little fellow, aren't you?

There you go.He's like a little dog cat.

He's a dog cat.So he was bred for the illegal pet trade in California.People want foxes that are different colors for some reason, because they think it's cooler.And then they want to keep them in their houses, which usually does not work out, because it's a wild animal.

He has really human eyes.Yeah, that's what I wanted to start there.

I was like, they've trapped someone in there.

There's a human in the body.Someone that was sinned in a past life.

Oh, by golly.You don't have an envelope for us, do you, sir?I do have an envelope.Well done, gentlemen.

Do you like some of Sinner's dollars?Oh, yeah, sure.Yeah.But this is your Bucky's money.I think you should hang on to this.Fuck yeah.

Don't have to tell me twice.All right.So at Bucky's, you need to get beaver nuggets.Beaver nuggets.That's not in the envelope, but you need to get beaver nuggets.Beaver nuggets.

What are they?I don't actually know.Okay.But they're fire.Okay.I don't know if a beaver makes them, if it comes out of a beaver, but it's really good.

You're going to enjoy it.We'll have that.All right.So right here is your next envelope for the Pit Stop.That comes next.

Betty.

I thought you were like a doorstop.

That's Betty.Yeah, so all of the animals enclosures have live cameras in them and we're live streaming 24 -7.So people don't get to visit this place in person, but they can visit our animals through these cameras all day.And that's, he's doing a project right now, rebuilding our road.So he's also live streaming that.

It's like a real life game.

We make ad revenue on those cams too.So that's like the major way that we support this whole thing.

Well, I'll be.Oh my god.Oi, I am so gassed.We met Ryan Trejan.Chicken shit is lit.Yeah, chicken shit was actually real fun.

I think we need to bring that back to the UK next night out.Chicken shit, yeah.

Okay, thank you guys so much for coming over.Thank you very much, we appreciate it.You guys were great.

We also saw you have a Twitch Gold to hit, so we're just gonna finish it off for you.$16 ,000 extra, I think.

You guys are gonna donate that?

Yeah, just a thank you for that.What?

What the hell?Thank you so much.Oh my God.Oh my God.Thank you.That's insane.

Okay.Wow.Thank you so much.That's so sick.

We got to hug an emu, so we can't.Yeah.

Hey, come back anytime.

You guys can hug an emu anytime.

Okay.Drink a bunch of electrolytes.Don't pass out.You know, have a good rest of your trip.

Thank you.Thank you very much.

Of course.Thank you guys for coming.

I wonder what Cam's training facility is. I reckon it's a shooting range.

Yeah.

But you shoot cans.Shoot cans?I wonder what the other guys are doing.

Boys.Yo.Oh, envelope.I have another one.Drive to Lone Star Premier Cricket Lounge.I can do cricket.

Cricket.

I love a bit of cricket.I'm going to have to get changed again.Jankos just doesn't really seem like any kind of training attire.What would you train in?Lion dancing maybe.Fuck no.

I'd lion dance.I wouldn't.You'd lion dance.I wouldn't lion dance.Yes you would.Nah, me nah.

You've done way worse things than lion dance.I know.You would lion dance.I just wouldn't like to.

Fuck boys, I'm buzzing.The energy drinks got me.Oh my God, I forgot about that, yeah.The sun is out.We're going to a cricket lounge.Forget your sun cream.

This weather's good enough to make someone sun cream.

And that someone's son is me.So put your phone on DND, whack on some DNB.We're about to blow this up like TNT.Let's go.You're like, no, I thought you'd get a little bit hyped.No, I was met with a, right.

You know what I'm saying?I'm trying to be out here giving some speeches, getting everyone gassed.

Oh, vehicle training, drifting.

Oh, no way.Oh, that's really cool.No way.

I'm seeing a whole lot of concrete blocks, not a whole lot of rubber tyres.Yeah, true that, to be fair.

Yo!

Oh my God, it goes on forever.Look, just flags, on flags, on flags.Yeah, it still carries on after a while.

We get it.

It's on the other side.

It's on the other side of fucking hills everywhere.

Holy smokes.

No way.Fuck the fuck off.Are we doing this?

Oh yeah.You guys dressed apart.Do we look good?Yeah, you look good.How are you?I'm good.

I'm James.Ethan, good to meet you.Nice to meet you.You guys ready to try some drifting today?Oh, absolutely.Yeah.

So you've never been in a drift car?

Never been in a drift car, no.

We tried to drift a normal car.So you guys can drive manual, right?Yeah.Just about.It's fine.It's a drift car.

They're loud and obnoxious and barely put together, but they do the job.It's simple.You just push the gas and turn the wheel and then catch it.That's it.Let's do it.

Very cool.

Oh, what the fuck?Wait, wait, wait.

we?What?There's a taxi.Oh, no.It's a Premier Cricket Lounge.

You're going to fucking donut this thing, dog.

Helmet Boy Origins.I'll show you then.I'll switch with you.All righty.Something falls off.Don't be mad.

It's just a drift car.OK.All right.I love the sound of a decatted exhaust, man.You're just going to drive up to it like this.Yep, yep.

You'll turn the wheel.Yeah, push the gas and clutch it.

Catch that shit.Bit more gas, bit more gas.

See, you know.Just stare at the cone.

Oh, shit.But why is it doing that though?Has he got the handbrake on or something?Just, just, just the back end.All right, you ready to try?

I'm ready to give it my best shot.All right, you got this.All right.Yeah, just go in a circle, put it in second, then try it.Yes, come on.

All right, we're about to see Vikstar drift a whip, bro.

Oh no.

Where's the cricket?

Oh no.What?What?What?What?Oh, now we're in.

Look at the fucking, look at the car.Nappa cab.Look at the car.

It's been bought here on a trailer.

It says Vivo on the top of it.

Oh, Jesus.So it's not, you're getting me hyped for some cricket and instead I'm driving this shit box.You were hyped for cricket?

Yeah, I was hyped for cricket.I'm not hyped now.My day's getting, the day is getting worse.Not sure I share your point.Fucking enthusiasm, mate.What is that?

It's a nappa cap.What's a nappa cap?You keep talking as if we know what you're saying.

He's turning.He's warming into it.Let's give him some time.

It's not working.Stop.You're just turning the wheel.Let's go, Vic.Let's go, cowboy.Gosh, you were doing it, though.

Yeah, I wasn't going around the cone.It don't matter.

See, that's a donut.

That's a donut.In Texas, and Austin especially, they love art cars.Right.So, people make art out of their cars.Okay, and then they blow it up.No, you drive them and you drive them around to showcase your art you put together.

Okay.But we haven't done that.So, I believe this one is made from, look, stickers, you'll see.It's made from stickers?

They're all wine.They're the top of a wine thing.

Oh.Those are wine bottles.That's why it says vino.Oh, that's sick.Right, moving on.So, we're now driving this car.

No, we're not.

No, we're not.Why would we do that?It's cool.It is cool.

It's like crazy taxi.Yeah.It's like fake taxi.No.Harry, are you going to pay your debt to me?

So gas, clutch, let go of the wheel, steer at the cone.I'm so scared.Drift jizz.Drift jizz.Drift jizz.

Hey, this is my part of drift jizz.Go for it.

There you go.There you go.Oh, you were close.What?A little faster.All right, go.

Yeah, yeah.I can do this.

That's what I kept doing.If you spin too fast, you lose all the speed.

More gas, more gas.There you go.More gas.

That's so sick.Oh, you were so close.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.That's one donut.I'm counting that.You slowed down, but I'm counting that.Have you seen the chairs in the back?

Little cuck chair.

Look at the chairs.Oh, yeah.

Oh my God.Yeah.

What is that?Oh, it's hot in there.Cuck chair.Oh no.Harry, you haven't paid my fare.You haven't paid your fare.

Come on.Well, I'm sorry to tell you, mate.You're about to get fucked in the fucking bum.Yeah, good luck with that, mate.He's so aggressive when he says it like that.I will say though, boys.

I feel like I've done my time driving.Yeah, Harry's gonna do his time, it's fine.

Yeah, I would've liked to, I would've done my time in a fucking, not the death trap.

You'll be all right, bro.This is a short drive.

This is a short drive, yeah?Yeah.Yeah, because we're going to die two minutes into it, that's why.

I want to try it in second gear, usually, but you can try first for now.

Yes.

Yeah.The boots are getting stuck, bro.Oh, man.That was close.He's got it, though.He's got the idea, yeah.

There in the foam.Yeah!There you go!There you go!I did it!You did it!

I did it!Come on!

He's having the time of his life.Yeah, I bet he was screaming.Yeah!

You made it look easy.

Yeah!

The other way.Wait!Yes!He drifted into the drift around the cone.That was so sick.Nah, this guy's gone sick.

Look at the heat coming off those tyres.The drift into the drift is insane.That was really fucking cool.Right, now get out of the car before the fumes get you.Quick.

Thank you.You ready?I'm not ready to drive this thing, no.Look at you now.Oh no.Do you like Italian accent for us?

It gets worse.What's it say?Drive to hill country boat and RV storage.Oh.Okay.No, no.

It might be a nice RV.What do you want to do?

I don't want to go on a boat.I think it's fine.

It's a road trip.

I think it's just going to be like a, that's just like one of these things.It's just a destination.

There's going to be something else there.Yeah, he's thinking some good points.Yeah, I'm thinking some thinking.Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can Harry drive?

Wow.You want to give it a little around the car park?Yes, Harry.Yeah, we're dying in today.No, we're not.

We're dying, we're dying a very solid death.

I'm going to die today.We're not.

Wow, wow, wow.

Nah, that's insane, bro.My driver, look, come on now.Oh man, I'm fucking, hold on, don't go now, there's a car.Are you nervous?No, mate, I'm chilling.I'm just driving a fucking shitbox around a foreign country, yeah, why not?

Where's the shitbox?Look at this, bro.Oh, Nelly.

Oh, Nelly.

Okay, Harry, if it helps you.Yeah.We have two turns to make and that's it.

Okay, great.Come on.I'm driving this like a go -kart by the way, I'm just using my left foot for the brake.I'm not.

You're gonna...Oh no.Do a very big jolt.Yeah, yeah, I don't care.At least we're stopping.Oh no.

Simon, you're gonna go through the window.I know, Lord, just take me now.

That's not how you brake though.Yeah, nice, nice.F***ing hell.

Oh my God, we're dying.

We're gonna be fine, Simon.We're gonna die.Oh lads.I have had a time.

Are you guys okay?That is one of the best things I've ever done.When we were in the lead, he was on us, bro.That was one of the best things I've ever done.

I felt the cars were touching.You know they weren't part of the shoot, they just turned up.Yeah, bring them back, bro.

Hire them.

That was unplanned.

all day all the time the res vani the big wagon is gone our bullet yeah the military vehicle disappeared has despawned so i think we might be getting some sort of it's gonna be cool it's gonna be cool right it's gonna be an upgrade it has to be cool oh my fucking god yeah vik that's all you bro i think the brakes good i think the brake cable's gonna go man yeah if the brake cable goes what do you want to do i can jump start the car if the brake cable goes you need to generate some kind of uh engine

Friction.I'm just going to go into a bush, man.You alright back there, Simon?No.You shouldn't feel alright.I don't feel alright.

I have zero confidence right now.

You're at the hands of a man who...As a person who's most scared of death, I actually feel very confident in you.Why do you not drive?What?Actually, I'm confident in you.I'm fine with this.

Why did you not drive?Why aren't you mad at Harry?He's fine.He's just told me he's got zero confidence.Yeah, but he's nervous.I have faith in him.

He has told me to have zero confidence in him.No driver should ever say that.That doesn't mean that.I do mean it.Well, you're not going to get a five star from us.I don't care if you shit in this car, mate, to be honest with you.

So long as we get to the A to B in one piece, I'm fine.

What the hell?Where is this devil whip from?I can't drive that one bro.That's all you broski.

I can't drive that one.Why has it got eyes?Why is the car looking at me like that?Oh my god.Wow.Hi.

Hello.

What the hell is that?This looks beautiful.

Thank you.

What is it?

It's a dark car.Yeah.

A dark car.Okay.

It's a tribute to the game of thrones.It's a knight king.It's a knight king!You guys are Game of Thrones.

This is cold, this is really cold.

This is amazing.Very cold, very cold.Three, two, one, blindfolded.Okay, no, I'll stop doing that.You backed out of everything so quickly.Yeah, good.

Yeah.Ah, a big pile of wood.Open to the public, so.Come on down to the pile of wood with your family.Oh, hang on a minute, we're drifting over here.I can't see behind us, so.

Make it that you can.Just focus on in front of us.Oh dear, I love a good road trip.Do you?Yeah.This is living, Harry.

Do you remember when this car first came out, they were probably gaffed.They were like, yeah, this is the fucking shit.Yeah, it still is the shit.

All right, we are in the Game of Thrones official George R .R.Martin certified Fiat 500.Thanks, bro.Our horsepower has come down, but our aura has gone up.

What does that say?

Tell us.Drive to hill, country, boat and RV storage.

Okay.

Are those mountains?No.Wait.Clouds, mate.They look like fucking mountains.yeah the clouds have a lot of mountains yeah they do look like mountains yeah i can see what you mean by when you drive you just got vibes this is a stop this is a stop harry oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we had a shield there.Do it good, do it good, do it good.One turn done!

Let's go Harry!The brakes are not as responsive as I initially thought.Even though it is brief and I would like to have done more, that's like top five Sidemen moments personally for me. I thought it might be.

I saw you going in the tunnel first.

I've never been so near to death and living at the same time.Yeah, you didn't even dive then bro.At best you would have been a little bit shaken, but that was fucking beautiful.Stop car, stop!Let's, yay!

Beans, you did it.It's still a red.It's still a red.It's still a red.Yeah.Okay.

We're about to go.We're about to go.You pulled out the fire, you know, that could have been dark.That was good.That was good.Under stressful situation there, you were calm.

Yeah, yeah.Composed.Apart from the wheel spin, but yeah.But you got it done.Yeah.That's what matters.

Come on.Come on now, Phil.G -up!G -up!

He's confident now, look.Not really.Fucking hell!It says exit now for Crestview RV.25 acres of RVs.25 acres.

25 acres of RVs.I don't know what this is.

We're going to learn today.

We don't have anything like this.

We're going to learn today.Then we're going in here, guys.Yeah, this is it.

This is it.

Yeah.Do you think those pesky other boys might be here, chaps?Maybe.I feel like this could be a location for some other pesky men.

OK, you're good.You're good.

They're letting you go.

OK, OK.Thank you.How kind of you, American.Why does it sound so insulting?What's the van doing?Oh, they're slowing.

They're stopping.Red light.Oh, shit.Oh, shit.Oh, shit.Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.Oh, shit.

Hey, boys, the chairs do, um...

I was enjoying this road trip.I'll take it back.I'm not enjoying it anymore.I'm doing my Achilles pushing the brake now.Fuck me.You see, if I had my glasses on, I'd be just too overstimulated.

Like, at least now it's a bit, like, hazy.

Okay.That's terrifying.Oh, here we go, look.See that right turn.Boat and RV storage.Yes!

Just make this turn and we've done it.

I think we might have been correct.What?A little rendezvous.I think we might be rendezvousing with our pesky old boys.Oh.There they are.

That's pretty cool.Napa cab.That's them.That's the boys.Oh yeah.

I think I'm booked.

Is Harry driving?Yeah.Howdy, partner.G'day, Mark.

I'm kind of jealous.

Yeah.What the?Do you like our car?

I do.I love your car.Turn that bit off.Out of your house.You're giving a bit YMCA.It's the glasses, it's the glasses.

I know better with these ones, he's not going to miss.

Where's the boots at?The boots were not made for walking, they called me a stripper.

I took the boots off because he picked up the women's boots.Yeah, he picked up the women's boots.He did look like you could get them for $30.

You are looking very cool though.You look good.I had to untuck though because he's too hot.That is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life.What is it?It's a blobfish.

What is it?It's a goblin, no?What is it?It's Game of Thrones.Circle knows what the script is.He kept going, oh, where are we going?

Josh, is Bucky's on our itinerary list?Of course it is.Now don't tell me we're not all going to get on the wagon.

We just might be getting on that.

This really is the ultimate road trip.

I have a card, boys.Get in the RV.Quite simple then.Come on.Oh my days.

This is lovely.Oh AC, that's what I'm talking about.Oh, it's nice and cool in here.AC.

Wait, what?Are you telling me the boys are just having a movie in here?No.Let's get off the seat.I'm going mad.

I would like to get off the bus.Really?

He's too loud.

He's too loud, sir.

There's a bed.There's a bed.Oh, it's memory foam.Bed, bed, bed.Do you want to see the bed?Memory foam bed.

Lights on, lights off.Lights on, lights on.

Oh my days, this is mental.Where's the lights?

Oh, there's a shower.Who's cooking?Lay down, Tobi.What in the broke back is this, bro?Let me take my hat off.

Get out!Get out!

I told you I wanted to get off.Get out!Oh, movie.It's a bit awkwardly close, isn't it?

I like it.Picasso.

It's not the cowboys.I feel like I might die.So we have no idea where we're going right now.We have no idea.

We are on the road to greatness because I'm with five of my best buddies.Yeah.Giddy up, partner.Fucking come on.

You feel like a small cowboy, Eston.I feel like we're letting you down.

You don't need to.I'll carry this for you.We did want to buy hats, but they told us we had five minutes to buy everything.Just take that hat.

Four of them, please.

Nah, because they have to do your sizes.Yeah, go on.Try it.

Oh, no, that's bad.That's horrible.That's horrendous.Take it off.Take it off.

I'm like Neo.Oh shit.

You look like a character from something.He does, I can't think what.Elephant man.Huh?

What?

Elephant man.

Play blindfold hide and seek.Maybe when we start.No, while we're moving.Do you want to be the blindfold man or do you rather hide?I like to hide.Anyone want to be blindfolded?

I'd rather not be blindfolded.Anyone else want to be blindfolded?

Are you going to be blindfolded?

I'll be blindfolded.I'm just worried I might break things, but...No, you'll be alright.Yeah?Alright.Three, two, one.

Hey, camera man.Right.I'm bloody coming.We're playing blindfolded hide and seek.Harry's there, Simon's there.Okay, no one's here.

I've lost.I've won them.I've lost.Oh, that was so close.

Ow, ow, ow.

This is so uncomfortable.I feel like someone might have got past me.

You bastard!I got him!I got him!Give me my bottle.

He's good at this.You didn't get whacked like Vikkstar got whacked, to be fair.

He nearly grabbed my dick twice.

Oh, perfect.That's my man.Help me.Right, that's the bed.Oh my God.This is insane.

Yes!I was doing so well.I nearly didn't come back there.

Oh, that's a wall.This is really hard, actually.Can't be many more of you.There's two, I think.How do I open the door?I'll give you this.

There's no one in the shower.

I just got wigged to the face.

Because I'm going to keep swinging.OK, no one's in here now.

Just me. I'm at the back of the whole thing.This is really disorientating.I feel quite sick now.You're really warm.You're really warm.

You're unreal how warm you are.You're boiling, Ethan, you're so hot.You're so hot right now.

Well, you can't feel that, he's not that small.Oh, yeah, no.You're so hot.Do you want me to go live?Oi!Who tied me on the bottom?

Who's there?I'm not here!That's really hard.Mate, you whacked him in the face.

Oh my days, look at it.

Look how big Buc -ee's is, man. I drove past this six days ago and I was like, that looks sick.And we didn't stop.

We're literally at Buc -ee's right now.

This is a whole gas station.

Let's go then.

Buc -ee's!Oh yeah.

Isn't it funny that a gas station is a tourist attraction?

Oh, it is massive, massive.Do you think...

It's not that big, yeah, really.

Do you think they have enough gas pumps?

No, because I've seen ones with like 100 plus.Guys, hello.Who cares?It's Buc -ee's.

You bring us good luck.Welcome to Buc -ee's, the most Texan gas station in the world.You have 15 minutes to explore.15 minutes.

We need beaver nuggets.Beaver nuggets.This is the gas station.

Flip the neck, this place is huge.World famous jerky.

They've got Buc -ee's merch, that's how good it is.

The awkward looks are absolutely hilarious.Like, people don't know what to do with us.

I got a Bucky's car, bro.Oh, wait, you have to manage to get a Bucky.

Do you reckon you can buy the big one?

Actually, no.I'm buying this one, though.All right, cool.

Oh, OK.

You've got to get a Bucky.

Oh, they actually make tortillas in the Bucky's.

Yeah.Wow.That's quite cool.

I'm getting myself some brisket.Oh, I'm joking.Everyone thinks I look like a fucking idiot.

No, I think you fit in.

Yeah?Yeah.

I want some key lime pie.

I want some turkey jerky.Beaver chips.I've got myself a Bucky.

brisket chopped XXL beef burger and some grapes.What are beaver nuggets?Anyone recommend beaver nuggets?I guess I'll just get, you know what, screw it.Ah, cinnamon sweet ones.

You know what changed my mind?Can I just get one peanut butter cookie?Peanut butter cookie?In America, that's gotta be good, right?

I've got locals smiling at me.Do they think you're gay?Yeah, no, no, no.They think, why the fuck is he doing that?No one else here looks like this.

You're giving tourists?Yeah.Bro, shut up.This place is the place.Shut up.All right, let's get some more merch, come on.

I want food, bro.

All right, I'm locked and loaded.This place is mental, eh?Where's Danny at?Bro, what the?What just happened?Wait, I haven't seen you in like four years.

In a Buc -ee's in the middle of America.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.I'm bringing Buc -ee's for the first time.

This is our first time at Buc -ee's as well.So Sidemen channel, this is Oliver Heldens.Incredible DJ, producer.

We've been texting a lot recently.

Yeah.

We miss each other every time.

Well, safe travels.Yeah, yeah.Good to see you.

Let's take a picture.

Let's do it.I don't usually dress like this.Hey Joshua.I got a soccer ball.From Arlott.

What the fuck is apple butter, bro?

I'm really intrigued, but I don't want to buy it and waste it.You know what I'm saying?Try it.

Over stimmed, bro.Got XL Dr Pepper full sugar.I'm getting stimmed right now, bro.I'm almost itchy.Yeah, we went off here, bro.I got my brisket sandwich about to chow down on to.

All right, you join me out front of Bucky's for a taste test of the hot honey jerky.Here we go.First time trying it.It's absolutely massive.But it's succulent.It's delicious.

Oh, yeah.Two litres of Dr Pepper I've consumed.Full sugar, I'm overstimmed to fuck.That place in there, fuck.Bit much, no?A little bit much, yeah.

I've had to reject myself.America.Yeah, this is proper America, isn't it?Yeah.

This RV's getting turned upside down with Bucky's.

This is like me at peak happiness, by the way.We did it.We completed Bucky's.Look at that, bro.

Let's have a little breakdown of this.

Oh my god it smells good.This here sandwich.So this is a brisket sandwich.Smells like it's gonna end my life.Yeah.Look at that.

Oh my god.

I said to myself I would eat good in America and now look at look at how low I've stooped.

Oh that is great though.That's amazing.

Buck bang.

You know what I'm saying.

How is it Josh?

It's alright.

Solid fried chicken.

My sixth fried chicken burger of the trip.

Bro's going to be putting up serious numbers on that scale.

Yeah, I don't want to look.

Would anyone like a sausage on a stick?

Hell no.Hell no!

I could be the £400 man if I lived here.Very easily.

Look, there's a barn with a Texas flag on it.Are you taking us to the barn?Is that where we're going?Yeah.Oh, I'm glad we missed fucking surfing for this.It's the end of our RV.

Hello.Hello.Look.That's really cool.A Texas barn.I found that on Google Maps.

I was really happy.Texas barn.Can you guys enjoy it, please?

What flag is that, mate?

That's a Texas flag.Thanks, guys.Right.We have an envelope.Just an address to drive to.It's Waco.

Waco.

That's what a surfing thing is.

That's what a surfing thing is.We're not surfing.Let's say it got rained off a little bit, bro.Yeah, well surfing got rained off, didn't it?Yeah.

All right, boys.What a team.We got rid of the non -drinker and replaced him with Harry.Oh, back on the fucking, back on the freeway.High freeway.This is a nice upgrade from the Game of Thrones car, I have to say.

Hey, guess what, Vikkstar?I put this bit in sport.

In sport, in the F150.50?

So, we're off to a beer spa.Yeah, I'm intrigued as to what that is. I mean, you can't just stink in a beer.Yeah, that's the thing.I was assuming there's a shower after, but it's a whole spa based around beer.Peculiar, I reckon.

Very peculiar, especially when there's a fucking surfing place around the corner.

Berkey's, 54 miles.Only in America do they advertise the place 54 miles before you're going to get there.They'll be like, oh, 54 miles for Berkey's around the corner, kuh.Kuh.I ain't gon' drippin' that brisket, but flip it up for me if it fell four miles, yeah, will ya?

That's classic.Cheers.So we're going to a museum.Yeah.Oh, it's any museum.No.

Okay.

Whose museum is it?

Mine's museum.Yours?Yeah.

Terry's Black Barbecue.Oh, that's supposed to be crazy.And you've heard about Terry's Black Barbecue?Terry Black's Barbecue brisket is supposed to be the best barbecue in the world.Really?I've just had a fucking...

I've had a fucking...Should we just divert?Should we just divert?Have a buckies one, mate.

Terry Black.I'm just fucking eating a whole bloody biscuit.The best biscuit.

Look, I even wrote it in my phone.Where is this?Where is this?Black in text, Terry Black.What the fuck?

What's Black Terry?Black Terry?Black Terry.Oh, Black Terry.Oh, Black Terry.

Dr. Pepper, baby.23 flavors.It's good and nice.Is it only 23 flavors?

I'm seeing, by the way, guys.What?You're seeing?The big bottle of Dr. Pepper.I believe that is the world's largest Dr. Pepper bottle.

That's them.We're going to the same place.

Dr. Pepper, baby.It's good and nice.

Dr. Pepper, what's the worst that could happen?Why are they here?Oh, Black Terry.

Black Terry's not a thing.Oh, Black Terry.You've made Black Terry a thing.

Oh, Black Terry.

Cooked a cow.

Oh, Black Terry.

Cooked a cow.Did you guys know if I say, Dr. Pepper, baby.

Hell yeah.

Well, what if I say this to you?Oh, Black Terry.Oh, Black Terry.Wait, what?

Yeah, yeah.I don't know that.Oh, Black Terry.Don't join in Simon.Don't join in with that.

I don't know this one.I was going to say Black Betty I know.

They made the song about a guy from Paris.Is that the guy who sells the steaks?Shut that door Black Terry.You guys want to know a fun fact?That's the largest Dr Pepper bottle.

Is there anything in there?Josh was really happy to sell us.Well done mate.that's that heat bro see me the most i've just put a bottle fucking hell man whoa black derrick yeah

that what you were singing?

You need to stop singing so loud, because people are going to start thinking I'm Black Terry.You could be, actually.You've got to stop busting our moves when we do it.Oh, Black Terry.

Oh, yeah.Home of the Dr Pepper float.There you go.It is that.Home of Hama floats.Oh, my days.

Josh.Josh.Josh, that's not Dr Pepper.Josh.Josh.

Josh.Fraud.

Josh.

That's not Dr Pepper, mate.Josh.

Maybe it was 7 -Up first.Oh, Big Red 2.No, no, no.

Because they're still 7 -Up.

Look, that's not Dr Pepper.Maybe they bottled 7 -Up for them.That's not Dr Pepper.Josh brought us to the wrong place.Look, alright, guys.I just saw the museum.

Is it made here?No, no, no, again, no, no.

Simon, Simon, I'm not having this.No, no, no, no, no.Josh, Josh.Josh, what have you brought us to?Josh, I'm gonna go mad, bro.

Guys, you're giving me anxiety.Stop it.I want to see Dr. Pepper in here.Josh, you've brought us to the wrong place.That's a go -kart, mate.Fuck off, is it?

It's a Dr. Pepper Land Cruiser.Josh, I've seen more horses than Dr. Peppers, mate.

Josh, you've brought us to the wrong place.No, I didn't.It's the right place.Look, it's Dr. Pepper there, look.See him?There are them.

They're big.Who was Dr. Pepper?Was he a guy?I don't know.It was made from a plant.

I really like that one.The Daily Grind, that's what we're on.The rear Dr Pepper Blunt.

There's a Range Rover here, that's factually incorrect, because the Range Rover's British.

So how's it snowing here, but it's nice and sunny down here?

Because they're like the mountains.

The classic moon landing, how's that flag staying up right?

No wind.

That's fake.

I told you a Range Rover wouldn't be in Texas.

No, they didn't port them, bro.

No, not that then.No, there's a Raptor around here, though.Raptor, Raptor, bro.What, dinosaur?No, no, no, no, Raptor.SVT, bro.

Broker.Broker.

Oh, he's having the time of his life.Yeah.He's not, he's not, he's not waterboarding at all.He's not, he's not doing the slide.Why don't you start with Dr. Pepper?Yeah, maybe.

They didn't actually used to look like this today.Yes, this is the original Dr. Pepper bottle.Go on, try and drink from that.

Oh, nice.I'm going to take a little float.

Thank you so much.Bit of ice cream in it.Ice cream and soda.Ice cream soda.Yeah.Float.

I want that one.That is worth, doesn't it?That's bloody lovely.You're actually such a child.Oh, what a float.Thank you so much.

Oh, that's amazing.How do you claim it?Is it good?

Nice to meet you guys.Dr Pepper, baby.It's good and nice.

All right.So we are a little behind schedule, so we've switched up a little bit here, but we are on route to a nice bit of fun.OK.Nice bit of fun.We're skipping out of the hotel.

Oh, my God.

Is it deserving?

Yeah.Now, the way it goes, it's not even good, though, Harry, so it's fine.It's not even good.No, no, it looks shit.

The big slide looks awful.Yeah, that fucking massive giant mega slide.Yeah.Yeah, even I saw the slide and I thought it was shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, what kind of content are you going to film on a massive fucking mega slide?

Everyone, pack your stuff up, guys.You've got five minutes.Five minutes.

Five minutes.Buggy.

He wants to land a bomb on it, Buggy.Buggy.

Yeah!Yeah!A bit.

I can have an emotion.I'll do the buckies in that emotion.

Yeah.Yeah.Angry.Angry.Yeah.Supportive.

Flirty.Disappointed.

Are we doing this American football team or is that baseball?That's the Longhorn Stadium.We get it.What's the Longhorn Stadium?The home of the Texas Rangers?The Longhorns.

Some kind of sports team.That's not quite the Longhorns.George Boyd, thank you.

Gentlemen, I hope y 'all have a hell of a time.

Thank you so much.Thank you.Thank you.Someone's gonna get him.Love you.Come on, George.

Come on.

Thank you.

Thank you so much, man.Appreciate it.Let's go, George.All right, where's our gang?Let's go, Rangers.

Oh my God, we're gonna score a field goal.Wrong sport, my boy.

What are we doing?I just respawned.

You score a field goal.

Field kick.

Yeah, a field kick.

Field kick?Oh my God, I'm going to hit a homer.So you're telling me this is just a pit stop, Zerkaa?

No, it's not.We made it to third base.It's not a pit stop.It's not a pit stop.No, there's no rush anymore.

Look how big and grand everything is.Why do they even build this for?They didn't need to, they just did because they can.Is that what he brought us here?

In the UK, we're limited by space.Here, unlimited space.

James, look at this.This is what they did with that freedom.Look, they didn't have to do that, but they did it because they can.

Oh, yeah.

Quite profound, that.Yeah.Look, in the UK, they would just say, fuck it, get rained on.Here, they say, no, we will build a structure.

Yeah.Yo, who's your favourite baseball player of all time?

oh good question oh um it's probably uh randy hallfield oh you know he just made that up yeah he's just made that up you ai generate that in your head that's why the first name is randy oh wow here we are america we made it

The same.Yeah.Oh my God, can I open it?Yeah, Simon can open it.Oh my God, yes.Hustle, Simon, hustle, hustle.

Welcome to Rangers Baseball Stadium.In 15 minutes, one of you will be throwing the first pitch.No, no, no, no, boys.We spun a wheel to decide who it would be.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh, my heart.

That's so sick, man.

That's so cool.That's so cool.You'll do well.Just to warn you, it is live on cable TV.They never go for it fully, so just, so long as you get it to the guy.

Nah, send it, bro.

Ethan, one of these ones.Yeah, yeah, that's life straight mate.Let's just do like the most sassy throw.Give me odds, give me odds, any odds you want.You throw it less than this.

Oh lads, I wasn't ready to be thrown into this.

It's either got to be a serious throw or a muggy one.He got to just aim over there.I frightened nowhere near.Throw it just at someone else.Throw it backwards.You know one of them ones where you throw it like that.

Yo, you know what's actually mental though?You could get signed from this.Yeah.I don't want to.You're going to throw it and they're going to go, oh shit.And what if I throw it like...

Just know mate, we'll be up there booing you, I swear to God.I hate watching this so hard.You know what though?

You're one of the people that I would feel confident in making the pitch.

Yeah, you'll be alright.Being okay at it.

You are in six minutes.

Okay.

We're going to make this happen.

I'll just throw that thing.We're going to do it.

Some people pitch from the mound, some people pitch in front of the mound.I recommend pitching from the grass if you don't want to miss it.

If you don't do it from the mound.No, from the mound.Yeah, from the mound.It's got to be the mound.It's got to be the mound, bro.Come on.

All the way to the back.Look at you, you're an athletic man.So you want me on the mound?Yeah, yeah.It's gotta be mound.

It's gotta be mound.This is your day, bro.Everything's gone your way.Why the fuck am I throwing first pitches?It's so cool.You're the most American out of all of us.

I don't know about that.No, you are.

Right now?

Don't let it slip out your hand.I've seen people do it.They drop it.They drop it early behind the goal.Their names though, their names.Lodge.

Yeah.Lodge, yeah.Cut me out there.Do you want me in this or this?I like this.Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.Thank you.Hey, how are you?Ethan, lovely to meet you.

Nice little wave as Chuck introduces you.Yeah.The words fire strike.That's your cue.Let it go.Nice little strike.

Sure.Sure.How far would you say the throw is along this?

90 feet.

90 feet.It's no joke, you know.

All right.Fuck me, lads.Okay, guys.Guys, I'm taking bets.I think it goes surprisingly well.Yeah.

Okay, so do you think it lands in his hand?I think the guy will catch it.No, without it touching the floor.Oh, yeah.Yeah, yeah.But I think he'll have to move a lot together.

Oh, you don't think it'll bounce into his hand?

No, no, I think it'll land it.

10 quid.Oh, it's gone.

So, you're gonna be on the grass right in front of the mound or on the decline of the mound.

It's sick.Bez, that's not fair.Bez.No.You've got this.You've got this, bro.

You're going to literally, look, from there to there.Is that it?Are you nervous now?

Good luck, mate.Thank you.

Hey, first pitch.Thank you.

Thank you.

What a funny, silly life, man.Stadiums here are huge.It's huge.Let's go, Bez.Go on, Bez.I'm on my way.

You know, I do like him, but I'm praying on his downfall.

I hate watching him right now.I want to see a sting.Give it a little bit of height.More than you think.Go high.He looks real nervous.

He looks more nervous than, like, taking part in a charity match.Yeah.He's suddenly stopped talking.Yeah.He's not smiling anymore.Yeah.

He's like, little Joe on a locking job -y.Oh, here we go.

Calm down.Yeah.Sweet.OK.Ladies and gentlemen, throwing out tonight's honorary first pitch.The Sidemen are the biggest YouTube collective in Europe.

Welcome to the mound, from the Sidemen, Bazinga.Bazinga, when you're ready, fire a strike to Travis Jankowski.

He smashed it!Thank you guys, that was great, thank you.

He said that's one of the best ones of his ass.Thank you guys.Thank you.I told you, bro.Nice pitch!Nah, that was cool.

I was cheering for you.

mate.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Definitely, Harry, definitely, bro.Preying on his downfall.Hate watch fails.You get to hit the ball as well, yeah?

Yeah, I get to keep the first pitch.Yeah, that's so sick.In the full fit too, bro.You happy with that?Yeah, yeah, yeah.No, you get to watch the game now and you get to get hot dogs and shit.

What a silly little life, bro.You know it's been a good day when you've gone from chicken shit bingo to first pitch in a stadium.What is today?

The duality of a Sidemen Sunday.Yeah.

This day might have to go down in history as one of your best ever Sidemen days, you know?Holy moly.

Oh, shit.We're stopping here, man.Oh, no.Oh, no.

Okay.

Oh, no.

What is that?I'm going to eat what?This is all you, man.Yeah, I'll give it a good go.

What are the four Sidemen eating that?I'm going to get a ride on that thing.

Flipping heck, man.This is...Wow.This looks insane.

Yeah, that's right, guys.He just threw the first pitch.

Yeah, thank you.Thank you, Ethan Zinger.You haven't even gone for the game yet, but...Is that wearable, yeah?

Yeah, I'll try.It's like the Simpsons.

Thank you so much.Oh, that's okay.That's okay.Yeah!Yeah, we need someone with a small head.Oh, yeah, Vik's head will fit, yeah.

Yeah.It just slides down his neck.I think you've earned that, mate.

I think you've earned that.It's quite dark looking, but yeah.Yeah, what is that?Someone's old piss.Yeah.Hot.

What does it taste like, mate?

Victory.Success.Yeah.Can I eat him?

I can have him.Eat my hat.

Yeah, I want a bit of you too, mate, if you don't mind.

7 -Eleven.Your game day favourite.Home of the Texas Rangers.This country is like, it's built on Adverse.Capitalism.

Capitalism find no boss.

But everyone seems chuffed, you know.There's a couple of nitbags, but everyone seems buzzing.

They seem to enjoy the capitalism, the materialism.It really is doing numbers for that.

I think there's a nice healthy balance of religious activity.There's some lunatics, don't get me wrong.

There's a intersection between religion and consumerism.

I mean, look, the general people you bump into, they're all friendly.Nah, I've seen them.I see what no man should see.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.

I've seen it.I wonder what we're doing.I've got Zerkaa written all over it.I've got your name written all over it.No, Josh, you haven't.Josh, you haven't.

Josh, you haven't, have you?Josh, you are.Josh, you haven't done it.You have not.This is the hashtag.This is the life we deserve.

Yes.Them jeans were adding up awful tight there, bro.Oh, my feet are in thick.I'm changing to trainers now.I'm done with this.Quite swaggy like that.

That's quite a good look.I'm just getting my American on you now.Yeah, you kind of leveled up there.Yeah, you look way cooler than me now.I feel like my corner's peaked somewhere.No, no, it's not for us.

It's not for us.No, no, definitely not.No, no.Walk away.No, we'll go to the vans.

Walk away.Unless...What are you doing?We're going to the fans, bro.Our fans are there.

Don't play, Josh.

Don't be silly.Who's in there?I bet someone's in there.What are you doing?

You're a terrible liar.Stop playing with me.Stop playing with me.Stop playing with me.

Yeah, yeah, okay.Yeah, it's going mad.

I did not consent to this.Fuck off.

Oh, fuck.You bit him.

I didn't hit him.

oh yeah that is lower he's lower yeah that's a hazard

maybe let them know oh what are we drinking tonight there's nothing yeah yeah yeah all right we're making a movie montage no he's going mad look oh again do it again oh no he's literally drinking a drink yeah yeah i'm popping water yeah Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh, yeah.

Welcome to Texas, yeah, yeah.The land of the sin.Fuck round with me, I'll eat a napkin.

Yes bro, yes bro.

I won't fuck round with you, you don't have to eat it.

I won't, I won't.That's that margarita right there.He's still eating it.

Yeah, I'll tell you what, yeah.I might just go nuts tonight.You'll do it then?Yeah.You won't.

My ankles hurt.

I don't think my body has more room for meat.I didn't get to poo.Are you sure?I didn't get to poo.I didn't get to poo.

Put your hands up if you pooed.KDT, yeah?You got it.You took 25 minutes but you didn't poo.

Got a child up there still awake.

I didn't make it.Fucking hope not.Oh my God, Harry.Thank you.Harry.Oh, Black Territory.

The song came true.How did this happen?Thank you very much.

How are we doing?Nice to meet you.Sorry we're so late.I got something to show you guys right here.

World famous is what we're best known for.It's our big giant Idaho.

yeah so we have original right that's for you only by the way i got some jalapeno cheese yeah that is the biggest sausage i've ever seen in my life probably one of my favorites i love i love this one okay oh yeah are you hungry i'm hungry are you hungry right now i am now yeah i think it's a good like We get edged.Oh my grace.

Oh, that's part of our freak account.Oh, yeah.There she is.

That's the one.It's got a jiggle on it.The jiggle.Jiggle.Jiggle back.

Wow.Wow, wow, wow.

Oh, my word.All right, we got dialed in.We got a lock in.

This is, this is...Boys, this is the thing we've worked for for 13 years.We've got a lot to get through here.Everyone's got to pull their weight.I've got the same time to get through here.

Everyone's got to get busy right now.You see this, yeah?

Watch this.Oh my god.That was like Barnaby.

This is like two days worth of food for me.

That's a whole week of your food.