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Steve Red Curry & Blake Griffin | Ep 313 | Bad Friends

Bad Friends66 views
0:00

You two are bad friends.

0:01

Who are these two idiots?

0:03

Woo.

0:03

A white dude and an Asian dude.

0:05

Woo.

0:06

You two are disgusting.

0:08

Woo.

0:09

Are you two or something?

0:10

We're bad friends.

0:12

Oh, that's a tight shirt. That's cool, is that new?

0:14

No, I've had it.

0:15

Oh, I like that Fleetwood Mac. Name your favorite Fleetwood Mac song, go. Love that, that's my favorite kind of stuff right there, dude. I hate being- Put on the spot, I know.

0:25

I hate it.

0:26

How'd you do last night? You were in a real bad mood last night for some reason. I said hello to you in the hallway. I'll tell you why. And you shuffled me off as if we haven't been friends for 15 years.

0:35

I'll tell you why. I was like, hey up to me and goes,

0:45

hey, I go, what's up? He's like, what's up? You don't remember me? And I'm like, no. He's like, 2018, dude. And I go, what?

0:58

Was that Mr. 2018?

0:59

Yeah, Mr. 2018. That guy won. He goes, second show, Saturday night, bria dude. I was with the funny hat and the weird shoes. You mean like that kind of thing? Like I'm supposed to go, oh yeah.

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1:14

You didn't remember him?

1:15

No, I didn't remember him, dude.

1:17

Well, he's here now, come on in Marcus.

1:19

Do you ever get that? No. Where people are like, you don't remember me?

1:23

Yeah, I mean, I've had people that say that, not people in the crowd, but people say, do you not remember me? And it's the meanest, rudest thing you can say. Oh, I've had someone go, you don't remember me, do you? And you're like, okay, well, that's, what do you want me to do here?

1:35

I know. It happens all the time. I love, look, here, can we, I love fans. I want to say hi to everybody. Me too, I love them. But also say hi in not the weirdest way possible.

1:48

Right.

1:49

A guy literally yesterday goes, am I mistaken or are you a podcaster? How would you like me to respond?

1:55

He was mistaken. He was mistaken.

1:57

I go, I don't know, buddy. Yeah. But what was I supposed to do? Go, yes, it's me, the podcaster. Yeah. In a long line at a checkout at a hardware store. I feel, what do you want me to say?

2:13

Just say yes.

2:15

Yes, and then what?

2:16

Yeah, I know.

2:17

Then it's weird, then he's like, okay. And then, boom, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, just waiting with my stuff. It just, just say hi.

2:26

Just say hi. Or when they're jokey too, I don't like it.

2:29

Well, you get it. Hey!

2:31

You get it way worse.

2:31

Ken Jeong, what's up? You know what I mean? And then like five minutes later, just kidding, bro.

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2:36

I hope I didn'tting a little bit putting up the post for your mom's birthday because man, am I giving everyone resident to go, I'm Bobby, I'm doing it again. I'm fueling the fire.

2:49

It's in my special.

2:51

I know. And you know what? Very cool.

2:54

You're cool.

2:55

No, no, I think it's very cool. You're cool. Boy, oh boy, am I excited to see this special when the first cut comes out. I'm getting ready. Has anybody else seen it? No, I saw it. You better let me see it. I saw it, it's upstairs. I know, they're literally here.

3:05

They're literally upstairs.

3:06

They edited my special too, upstairs.

3:08

That's the first time. It was the first time where I sat down and I watched the whole thing. And guess what?

3:14

Fantastic.

3:15

Not fantastic, but it was serviceable. Come on, shut up. No, serviceable is good. I bet it's great. No, I can't tell if it's great, but I'm watching and going, oh, I do seem like a standup.

3:29

You're a 30 year professional.

3:32

I understand that, but I, you know, I watch it and it's like, oh, that was okay. That was good.

3:36

I bet you it's more than okay. It's better than okay. That should be my next special, serviceable. Stand up, here it is. I did some. Yeah, why not?

3:47

If I do one in my life, that's a good one to have out there.

3:51

Yeah, look at that, fulfilling its function adequately, usable. That's serviceable, functional and durable rather than attractive. That's also true. Neither of us are that attractive,

3:59

but we are functional and durable. I don't think I'm ever gonna do one again. I thought about that the other night. Aristotle was like, what's going on? I'm like, I'm doing all new stuff lately.

4:08

You crush every time. Even, you know, you're the weirdest guy because it's like, you'll do a special and then like fucking two months later you already have a new 15.

4:16

I know, but it's, you know, but I knew 15. I don't think I'll ever do another special again. I really believe that. I think I'm done doing them. I think they're fun, but I'm like, I think something else is going to happen in the world of standup. Like I think something is on the move.

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4:32

Ooh, AI?

4:33

Well.

4:34

I, I?

4:35

I, I.

4:36

I, I?

4:37

That's what I call it.

4:38

I, I? a meeting, he works at Apple, you know my cousin, he said they had a meeting about that Tom Cruise Brad Pitt. They had an internal meeting about the detriment of that to the business because it went crazy viral. You know that scene we showed of the Brad Pitt?

4:55

Yeah, I saw it.

4:56

Yeah, I've been watching it. People are panicked about it because it's so good and so real, people are now like freaking out. So internally, they're like, what's going on? What are we going to ... How are we going to stop this? Because people at home are going to start just making full films using AI. Yeah, they would say that Netflix,

5:12

the future of Netflix, someone was imagining you just prompt it, and then it gives you the movie

5:16

that you just prompted. And let me tell you something, we've been joking about that for a I'm 100% gonna do that. Why would they not? I mean, I don't like it, but what's gonna stop them? You talk quick. Yeah.

5:25

A little too quick for me.

5:26

I had a couple of cups of coffee this morning. I was throwing the ball with the dog and had a couple of cups of coffee.

5:30

That's what I'm saying.

5:31

And then I spilled coffee all over my pants. You should have been an auctioneer. You know when the dog, when they do some human shit and you're like, don't laugh, that's not funny. And the dog was like, just throw the ball, man. Just throw the fucking ball and shut up. Your dog's the best. I ran into another dog this morning, a similar looking dog, but a white version.

5:57

I have a black dog, as you know, Jet Black. That's his name, Jet Black.

6:03

The white version, did he have like a gold chain?

6:05

The white, that's what my black dog said. He was appropriating my walk. Yeah. Cause the dog was walking with kind of like a little swagger.

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6:12

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

6:13

My dog did not like that.

6:14

Yeah, cause your dog is black, but suburban.

6:17

Suburban black.

6:18

Yeah, yeah.

6:19

Yeah. Oh, my dog is John. Hello, Bobby, good to see you. You would think they would be like, what's up? But not. Hello, Robert.

6:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:28

He's very proper.

6:28

Would you like something to drink?

6:29

Yeah.

6:30

It's a girl, but yeah.

6:31

She is, yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:32

Yeah, 2026. She went to Brown University.

6:33

Oh.

6:34

She went to Black University. Good luck, have fun, don't die, or have fun, good luck, don't die? Because I saw the trailer and I thought, this looks really good, except it does look amazing. Except every single trailer now or every new movie is end of the world. So here's what I propose to Bobby Lee.

6:56

Yes.

6:56

I'll do it.

6:57

This is all kind of dystopian, scary, the world is over shit, like Pluribus, all that. Why don't we make a show where we save the world, it's not ending, we fix it. Because these are kind of like doomsday film. Everything is a doomsday film. What's a boomsday film? Let's do boomsday with us where we're having

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7:15

a blast. Is there doomsday happening in the movie and we reverse it or?

7:19

I think it's the end. So these movies are like the beginning of Doomsday. I think that Doomsday is over. It's already happened and we fix the world.

7:27

We fix it.

7:28

Yeah, like we go through the steps to fix the world. Don't you think that's a good idea? That's really good. Because all these Doomsday films make me sad. Like this looks awesome, but man, does it look sad. Yeah.

7:38

Like he's come from the future all of us it's over, so it's about to happen. That's the trailer. And I was like, why can't it just be, it's all over, everything is bad, but Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino have to fix it.

7:49

Okay, good.

7:50

Don't you like that?

7:50

I like that a lot.

7:51

Boomsday film, Bobby Lee and Santino.

7:53

Let's do a movie where all of a sudden this big thick guy from the fucking future comes. Chappelle Lacy? sort of like an AI killing machine. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what happens is we have a friend named Sarah Connor.

8:10

I'm listening.

8:11

Yeah.

8:12

Yeah.

8:13

Pretty good, right?

8:14

Yeah. So far? Yeah, yeah. That's a good name.

8:17

That's a really, really catchy name.

8:18

What?

8:21

But she's not the Android machine killing machine. Is she human? Yes. Wow.

8:25

Yeah, yeah.

8:26

Okay. And he goes, he has to say, I'll be back all the time. He has to say all day, yeah.

8:31

That's his catchphrase?

8:32

Yeah, yeah, I'll be back all the time.

8:33

That's really good, Bob.

8:34

Yeah, thank you so much.

8:35

You should write this down. Yeah. And they got in an argument about it.

8:45

I'd be caught, Arnie, that's not what, you know, is that what happened?

8:49

No, the original line was, he refused, yeah, yeah, yeah. The original line is I'll come back. And I guess he said, a machine wouldn't say I'll come back.

9:01

Really?

9:02

Yeah, he said that. Apparently he was like, well, I mean, that's kind of how he talks in real life. Yeah. He probably just misread it five times and they were like, we'll just keep it. I'll be back. They're like, Arnold, it's I'll come back. He's like, I'll be back. They're like, fine. We can't do 12 more. He fucked it up every time. But truthfully, apparently he was saying they got into an argument about it. Yeah. And it became one of the most iconic lines in the film, but it was jokingly written as, I'll come back. What, let's kind of powerful.

9:29

What if I'm the director, okay. Yeah. And I was like, hey, Arnold.

9:33

Yeah.

9:34

Yeah.

9:34

Yeah.

9:35

Cause I've never seen you do your Arnold.

9:37

Yeah. be we're crushing listen Cameron James I would be crushing yeah what I want to do is lift weights yeah yeah and coming I'm coming yeah yeah oh we're actually we're shooting something right now I'm still coming I know I'm coming at the gym I'm coming at home I understand but could I just I will be coming I'll be coming. I know, but that's not the line. Can I say that in the film? No, you can't. It's, um...

10:05

I'll be coming?

10:06

Yeah.

10:07

I'll be coming.

10:08

No, the line is, I'll come back. No, we gotta go. The light's...

10:11

We're losing light.

10:12

Okay, I'll be coming.

10:13

Are you back? I know. I'll come back. Cut. You don't have to make the noise. I want to make the sound. We're gonna do that in post.

10:26

I want to do the sound.

10:27

I understand that we have.

10:28

I love sound.

10:29

All right, well you can do the sound.

10:30

We're just gonna.

10:31

Shh.

10:32

That's not the kind of sound we're gonna use, but anyway, guys, and action. I'll be back. Okay. It's cut. I winked to the camera. I understand that, but really good. Where's Will Sasso when we need him? That was my favorite. The greatest.

10:47

My favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger.

10:48

Nah, Sasso's the king, dude. I got good news for the crew.

10:53

We're doing it. That's all I want.

10:56

I know, you know what I'm talking about. I really don't. We're going to rock and roll. I'm going to be coming from Hawaii and I will meet you guys in Japan.

11:05

We're doing it in July?

11:07

Yeah. Okay, good. I'm already halfway there. So I said, we're planning something with a family. And I said, if I'm halfway there, would it be cool if we just jet to Japan with bad friends? My wife was like, I think that'd be awesome.

11:18

And I was like, this is perfect. Really? So we got to start booking flights to Japan. How long are we going to be there? What do you want to do? Six days, seven days?

11:26

Is that, that's a long, right?

11:27

Yeah.

11:28

That's enough.

11:28

I mean, but do we just want to do Tokyo or do we want to go?

11:32

Okinawa.

11:33

Okinawa.

11:34

Okinawa.

11:36

Okinawa. Bum bum bum bum bum. Yeah, I can't wait. So we'll fly into Tokyo and then we'll figure it out. We should take the bullet train. That would be fun to go down to Kyoto or whatever.

11:47

Whoa.

11:49

And then Brad Pitt's gonna be on the train. We can fight.

11:51

Yeah.

11:52

What's that movie called?

11:54

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:55

Yeah. That was a good movie. I can't wait. We won't do shows or anything. It would be cool if we set up some kind of fun, not even a show, but like a meet and greet or something for Japanese fans. Would that be kind of fun to do?

12:09

Let's do a meet and greet.

12:09

Yeah, just like a comic store.

12:11

Yeah, like a local hangout.

12:12

Yeah.

12:13

A comic store?

12:14

Yeah. I bet we have some fans in Japan. Don't you think? That's enough for a comic book store. That's enough for a comic book. Yeah, yeah. Why'd you say comic book store? That's exactly where our fans would be in Japan.

12:25

Yeah, exactly.

12:26

No, I'm thinking of logistics for myself as someone working and I was like, oh.

12:30

Yeah, it's a pain for you.

12:31

All right, just anywhere, a coffee shop.

12:33

How about this, Bob? Hotel lobby. Oh, you know, they have these massive video game like that. Oh yeah. They have ones where they hold tournaments though, that they hold like weekly tournaments you can go to.

12:51

I think that would be fun.

12:52

God, those buildings are so cool looking.

12:54

You know what the wildest shit is? Every floor is something different too. Yeah. The second floor is like a shop for shopping. The third one is a massage place. The fourth one is like a, whatever, it's all-

13:06

Fucky fucky.

13:08

Japan, here we come, we're going to Japan.

13:10

Two dollar, you touch your butt. You know, two dollar, is this still two dollars?

13:13

No, it's three now. It's like New York pizza, they raised the prices. It's a dollar 50 now. I can't wait. Yeah. The boys are gonna go to Japan. Oh, you, McCone, you're going too? Mm, that's up to us.

13:27

What?

13:28

Said I gotta film it. But that's up to us. Oh, you gotta film it? Because he does jump on a lot of, he gets to jump on a lot of, Yeah.

13:33

Hey, I'm doing this. So we get to decide. It's gotta go all the way around. They've heard it? No. No, they don't even know it. Yeah. Are you a flat earther?

13:45

What's going on here?

13:47

I'm a square earther.

13:48

You know that.

13:49

Four sides. No, they do speak English. In fact, when we go to Okinawa, which I have been down there, there's certain islands you go to, they do not speak English. Google Translate ready to rock and roll. Yeah. Okay. I'm ready to go. Oh, I'm so excited we're gonna get- We should dress up as ninjas.

14:06

You should.

14:07

Yeah, no, you should too.

14:08

I can't.

14:09

Why?

14:10

It's funny, they would like it more on me than you because you're Korean and they get mad at you, but me, they're like, this is good. This is good, yeah. Cosplay. Yeah, but like in the whole country is cosplay like make it more American like I'll come as a American Eagle Yeah, you can come up as yeah. Well Carlos would be the bald eagle. He'd be the American bald eagle You can go as pumpkin spice pumpkin spice the latte

14:33

Yeah, who wants a sip? Yeah, we should dress up an American American. Yeah taken back did yeah, we should get into something funny, sorry. Just chatting. That's fine, no, we're doing good, right? I just like chatting with you.

14:45

I just like chatting with you, everything's fine. What is that?

14:57

Yeah. No, don't laugh. Is there a stitch?

14:59

Don't laugh. Don't laugh, dude. Let's see. Don't. Whoa. The sound, immediately I think of the,

15:13

the,

15:16

I cut to music. And no one helps her. See that guy right there, that guy right there.

15:21

Didn't, well try.

15:22

You're too slow, too slow, dude.

15:23

You wouldn't help. What? You would not help. Yeah't, well try a little. You're too slow, too slow dude. You wouldn't help. What?

15:25

You would not help. Yeah, because I like a good laugh.

15:27

But wow.

15:30

That's the Bart, that's up in San Francisco.

15:33

Why do you know it's a she?

15:35

Yeah.

15:36

Because men would just take the hit. Why is she color coordinating? That actually looks cool. I'm wearing a green shirt. I'm gonna wear my green shoes as well. Well, if you dissect this, that's 100% an Asian woman. A, this is in the Bay Area. Two, she's wearing the visor. That is dead giveaway Asian woman. And gloves. And gloves. Yeah. Wow. And gloves. And it's like 74 degrees. Yeah. Wow. That's funny. I saw Leo last night go into a, no, two nights ago, go into a place. Leo really where? Look, he looks the same.

16:05

It's so funny. He looks the same in real life that he looks on TV. I was waiting for a car at valet and he was going into like a secret club, but he had his hat on low. Yeah.

16:13

And the valet goes, no, he went into his club thing. It was like a private club. What do you mean? I'm not, what?

16:25

What are you talking about?

16:26

Yeah. Leo would be like, get away, get away. But he was wearing his hat real low like he does. It's kind of wild, dude.

16:34

I can't believe he still has Hollywood dreams. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, give me a city that's better. No, I mean, for a guy like him where everywhere you go is a thing, he could hide out somewhere. He could go to like Montana and just live, you know.

16:52

Oh, that's what, yeah, yeah, yeah.

16:53

He can have a ranch or something.

16:53

A lot of those guys, they disappear. They go somewhere where nobody bothers them. You know, luckily for the first time, we didn't call out any of these deaths. Thank God. Yeah. I did. We did mention Catherine O'Hara, sadly, rest in peace.

17:08

He was 95 though.

17:09

But you know who died today? The triple, it was Catherine O'Hara, Robert Duvall. And today, Jesse died. Oh, Jesse Jackson.

17:17

That's right.

17:19

Oh, that's right.

17:20

Jesse Jackson died this morning. The Reverend. RIP Chicago legend. Yeah. Died in Chicago, not from Chicago, died in Chicago. Shout out Jesse Jackson, Black History Month no less.

17:29

God, what a legend. Remember the single tear he did when Barack won?

17:33

Zoom in on that face.

17:34

Look at that face.

17:35

That does look like the Cosby like,

17:37

boom, boom, boom.

17:38

Yeah.

17:39

When Cosby was doing, pudding.

17:41

Yeah. He's got that like, I'm up to something. Yeah. He's got fish eyes too. Yeah, he does have fishy eyes.

17:46

Wow.

17:47

Yeah.

17:48

Perfect circle head.

17:49

Is Dolly Parton alive?

17:50

Yeah, she's alive, yeah.

17:51

Cause I saw her on a billboard on the way here and I had that thought, should I mention it? Because maybe, cause how old is she now? I don't want her to pass away at 80. Yeah. Oh, it's a good bet though. I know. We should have a bad friends death poll here where you can bet the fans can bet with us on who's going to die next. I don't want her to die. I'm saying that, but I saw on a billboard

18:12

and I thought, I don't know if she's alive or not. You know, if she died, you know, what would die like two days after her, her're big. They're their own organism now.

18:25

They're huge.

18:26

Yeah.

18:27

Are they real?

18:28

They're real, right?

18:28

Yeah.

18:29

Come on, brother. What? You think an 80 year old has tits up to her chin?

18:33

No. No, I don't think she's got breast surgery. Look it up.

18:37

You're out of your mind. No, those are real. I don't even have to Google it but I will cuz yeah, yeah Yeah, I want you to Google it. Yeah. Yeah, it's the mo she talks very old

18:46

My bed is now my bed is everyone. Let's sit consensus. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I bet you all the money. How about you? Yes, McCown. They're fake. Yeah. No, they're real. Go ahead. Google it

18:58

Dali Parton's breasts are not natural First station lifts to advance her signature look. They're real expensive and they're real nice. Let me tell you something, honey, they're real nice. They're real fun to suck on.

19:15

She's always been fun on talk shows about it.

19:18

Good actress too.

19:19

She's the shit. Dolly Parton's the shit.

19:21

Was she in Steel Magnolias? Is that the movie that she was in? Yeah. Do you like that movie?

19:25

It was good.

19:26

I love that movie.

19:27

I haven't seen it in a long time.

19:27

Yeah, yeah, I love Steel Magnolias.

19:30

Is she on Raya? Have you seen her on Raya? Yeah.

19:32

Would you have? I wouldn't even swipe for her. Why? I don't know any barbecue shops really or... Shop?

19:47

You're gonna take me to a barbecue shop? You sweet little noodle you.

19:50

Come on baby, let's go to a barbecue shop.

19:52

Yeah, like I don't know cowboy stores, you know what I mean?

19:55

I don't know any of that. Y'all won't believe it, Bobby Lee was nobbing on my knobs. He was slopping on my knobs the other day. Yeah. She's, she's still- I just don't know where to take her. She's still pretty sexy.

20:05

Yeah.

20:06

How old is Sally Field now?

20:08

Oh, so old, 79.

20:11

Still a babe though. Yeah. After all these years, like how many- Legend. You know why these women are still babes, like her? Cause she just, she didn't fuck with her face, that's why she looks so pretty. Yeah, 58. She's 60 years old, she's a mega babe.

20:25

It's amazing.

20:27

Dylan McDermott, what's this about? You like him?

20:29

He's 64.

20:30

He's 64 and he looks great.

20:34

You like this guy?

20:35

Yeah, you like him?

20:35

I like, you know what? I do like him more than Sally Field.

20:38

I would fuck him more. You're off your head. Yeah. Sally Field is a legend. Dylan McDermott, he's not a legend.

20:45

His looks are compared to mine.

20:46

Bradley Cooper just did something weird to his face.

20:49

He did, I saw that on the thing, I know. Hey, on March 27th, the ass-kicking comedy event of the year drops. Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice streaming only on Hulu. It stars Vince Vaughn, James Marsden, Asa Gonzales. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on, Vince Vaughn? Yeah, man. He's twice as tall as me. Think more than that.

21:06

Well, in this movie, there are two of them. He time travels back to fix a night that went horribly wrong.

21:10

So your entire 20s?

21:12

Exactly, but he goes back as his own wingman. Two Vince Vaughns trying to save the day. I need that. out of my hand and goes, don't text her. There's Mob Stuff action chaos and it's rated R.

21:25

Mob Stuff?

21:26

You'd fold immediately, dude.

21:29

You have substitute teacher energy.

21:31

Rude, but fair.

21:33

The trailer's actually hilarious. Big action, dumb decisions, double Vince Vaughn and paired with James Marsden.

21:39

I'm sold. Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice streaming March 27th only on Hulu rated R. Which means don't watch it with your mom. Or Bobby's mom.

21:47

Warby Parker. You know, your wife's glasses, I always compliment them.

21:51

Yeah, because the blue light glasses, they look good and they're practical, they're useful. So you're not staring at your phone all day hurting your eyeballs thanks to Warby Parker.

21:58

Those glasses are Warby Parkers. Oh my God. Yes, they are. And seriously, nothing comes close on quality, Andrew.

22:05

True.

22:06

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22:12

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22:56

Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses at warbyparker.com slash bad friends. That's 15% off when you buy two pair of glasses at w a r b y parker.com slash bad friends. After you purchase they're gonna ask you where you heard about them please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Jules, Carlos, Google the movie Cocoon, the cast. I love that movie. I love that to. Look at the cast, zoom in. Can you zoom in at the cast? Wilford Brimley.

23:26

Wilford Brimley when he did Cocoon, how old was he when he did Cocoon?

23:29

He's looked the same.

23:33

Yeah, yeah. How old was he when he did Cocoon?

23:37

He was 15 years old.

23:38

Dude.

23:39

Like you right now. I know, isn't that insane? I'm 54, I'm five, six years older than them. Yeah, but this means you could have a resurgent. I know, but he was in a fucking nursing home in the movie.

23:49

Actors did look so much older.

23:53

Why do they look so old?

23:55

Everybody looks much older.

23:56

Everybody looked older back then because nobody took care of themselves. He was probably ripping two packs a day, drinking every night.

24:02

There's no like Korean, they probably didn't know about Korean facial creams

24:05

or whatever. Look at that, that's Paul Rudd at 52 and Wilford Brimley at 52.

24:09

Isn't that insane?

24:10

That's, that looks like his son.

24:11

Yeah, grandson even.

24:14

Yeah, this is because no one cared back then. It's unbelievable. You didn't need to take care of yourself, but it didn't matter. You probably got more roles when you got older looking older because they needed older people in movies

24:25

You know, but if because in 2026 if he was like 548 he'd look different you think what what what could he do to look more hipster? He's got Balenciaga on Right, are you shopping a Gucci like what is it Gucci slide? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what could he do?

24:42

I'm sure there's a fix. Yeah. Look at you. You don't look 54. Most people on the internet think we're the same age.

24:49

I know, but in the 50s, I think I would look still the way I look now. You don't think I would?

24:54

No chance. You would be an old Korean man in the 50s. Really? man in the 50s. What? Well, you wouldn't be in the business first of all. Yeah, but what do I do different now that would, what do you mean? What do you mean? Were there any Korean actors in the 50s?

25:09

I mean, that's what I'm saying. You wouldn't have been in.

25:10

Yeah.

25:12

There had to have been maybe one. Who is that? Yeah, itari Wood. I'd have to go back to Korea to work, I think. Yeah, but look at that, they look pretty. Yeah. But they're all very young, I bet.

25:30

They're all probably 19 to 25. They were very young back then. Yep. Like in that guy on the right, playing 40, but he's 20. Yeah. That's what they did back then. Yeah. I mean, Judy Garland was 16 in- Wizard of Oz. In Wizard of Oz, right? Or 15 or something. Wow.

25:45

And they made her pretend, they put her in that film as if she's a young woman, but she's a high schooler.

25:50

Yeah, wow.

25:51

Crazy, crazy times.

25:53

What a great movie, Wizard of Oz.

25:57

Honestly?

25:58

Yeah.

25:59

No.

26:01

I mean, for the time. Yeah. What don't you like about Wizard of Oz?

26:05

I don't like that when they get to the wizard... Oh, here we go. He's just a little weak man behind a curtain. I understand that. Yeah. I understand the message, but I want him to be more badass.

26:15

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

26:16

Yeah.

26:16

You came back.

26:18

You followed the road. You followed the road. How did you find me?

26:26

Yeah, boost it up. And the whiz, right, that was the black version.

26:29

The black version, yeah. I would love an Asian version. That'd be great.

26:33

The whiz.

26:34

Yeah. If you look at the tin man you look, it's made in China.

26:37

You know what I mean?

26:41

Yeah, we've lost Toto. The first scene. Yeah, Toto's gone. Yeah. Yeah. And then all you hear is this character go, ugh. Yeah, the lion. Yeah, the lion.

26:48

I didn't eat him.

26:49

Okay, cowardly lion.

26:50

That'd be amazing.

26:51

Yeah.

26:52

Yeah.

26:53

But who would be the witch?

26:54

No Yellow Brick Road because they would get lost.

26:55

They would get lost on the road.

26:56

Camera wise. the witch. No yellow brick road because they would get lost. They would get lost on the road. Camera wise, they would just blend in. They would just blend in, right?

27:08

Follow the red brick road.

27:10

We do white road.

27:12

Follow the white road.

27:12

Yeah.

27:16

They should do an Asian Wiz.

27:18

Yeah, they should do an Asian Wiz.

27:19

The black Wiz, that was Michael Jackson, right? Did he write that movie?

27:24

I don't think so.

27:25

But he wrote the soundtrack.

27:26

Yeah.

27:27

Yeah. Follow the aerobics roll. Follow the rubber ball roll.

27:31

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the rubber ball roll.

27:34

Yeah.

27:38

No, bad?

27:39

No, very good.

27:42

Yeah, and the monkeys too, right? Don't they have monkeys, flying monkeys in that. Yeah. Yeah, and the monkeys too, right? Don't they have monkeys, flying monkeys in that?

27:46

Yeah.

27:47

And they were really depressed, all those actors.

27:49

Yeah.

27:56

Really, who?

27:57

They said a little person actor hung himself in the woods and apparently you could see it in the original cut, but that's not true. And Brad looks different, huh?

28:06

49.

28:08

There's just something about it.

28:11

You know what they represented?

28:12

Yeah.

28:13

Is Jim Henson in there like? I mean, it doesn't look real.

28:21

By the way, why didn't they get, those are all really old men and they should have gotten little people, little kids. Yeah. Or just get little kids to play little people. Yeah. No, but that wouldn't have been.

28:30

Dude, imagine. That wouldn't have been okay.

28:32

Yeah.

28:33

Imagine if you were a dwarf actor and you didn't get the role.

28:36

I didn't get it? What? What?

28:39

I mean, come on. Come on! I'm just 10,000 rolls, I didn't get it! Nothing, not even a callback!

28:46

You know they all shared one trailer. They put them all in one trailer.

28:50

One trailer.

28:51

Yeah. It's how awful. They were treated so poorly, they talk about it. It was so awful, the way that this movie was filmed, the way they did it. And also, she was treated like shit.

28:59

She was abused the whole time, it's crazy. Oh yeah, what's his name in R2-D2? Imagine, dude, scenes and tattooing in that thing. For hours.

29:11

You'd do it.

29:12

I mean.

29:13

You'd do it.

29:14

I think after I did Star Wars, the success, I think the first time you're doing it, you're like, no one's gonna watch this.

29:21

And I'm in this tin can in the desert. But you still get the praise of the fans because they know it's you. Because they promote it as you.

29:30

I know, but no one knew Star Wars was gonna be that big.

29:33

No, not the first one.

29:34

Yeah, so in the first one, he's like, fuck this, you know what I mean? And then the second one, he's probably like,

29:38

yeah, put me in that. We did it. Wait, wait. He has dwarf agents? You think they have regular-

29:47

Hey, Joe, you did it.

29:48

You got the part.

29:49

You want someone like you to represent you?

29:52

Oh, really?

29:52

Yeah. That's why you should have Asian representation.

29:54

I used to, I still kind of have a Korean agent.

29:57

I think you should have more.

29:58

Lawrence Haar. Commercial.

30:09

Oh my God.

30:10

One of the trees from Lord of the Rings is here guys. Get in there dude.

30:16

You're not doing anything, you're fine. Ladies and gentlemen, for our fans at home, we have a guest that joined us, one of our favorite people on earth. Very funny, I like you. fans at home we have a guest that joined us one of our favorite people on earth and a very funny guy like a ballot a ballot holder and a potential inductee to the basketball hall of fame like ladies and gentlemen Blake Blake Griffin you know this right he is on

30:34

the ballot to go to the hall of fame yeah I don't know much yeah yeah yeah I don't know much about it but I'll tell you this I know that you're a professional basketball player was was right but but I don't judge it by that what did he play for what would he play

30:50

for name name anybody he played for fuck off go ahead what he played for 35 teams

30:55

how many teams did you play for I played for I played for just start naming the nuggets nope no fuck the golden what's at the golden the golden

31:10

The goldens what's it called it all goes back to Asian what Asian theme don't say words. Yeah, yeah golden state warriors like the Sun Were you on the dragons when we're on the track

31:22

This is embarrassing for me. Did you're more?

31:25

Kid you got it you can guess I know you can get yeah Were you on the dragons? When were you on the dragons? Yeah, yeah. This is embarrassing for me, dude. You're more of a- Keep going?

31:26

Kig, you can guess. I know you can guess.

31:27

Yeah, yeah.

31:28

Trailblazers.

31:30

Brazers is crazy.

31:32

You are a stickler for things. Trailblazers, yeah, yeah.

31:33

That's crazy.

31:35

Got how many workshops?

31:36

The dynamite mines, Utah dynamite mines. Yeah, yeah. What city was the hub for no longer needing

31:51

Oh, Salt Lake, what?

31:52

No, like, think about, where were cars? Give me a different.

31:55

First, like, the home.

31:56

Detroit.

31:57

There you go, there's one.

31:57

What's the team name?

31:58

Fucking Lions.

32:00

Yeah.

32:00

You played for the Lions? I played center for the Lions. I played center for the Lions. I thought that was football.

32:05

It is. Yeah, that's not a football player.

32:07

What is?

32:07

Give me the first initial of the guy.

32:09

P.

32:09

P.

32:10

Detroit.

32:11

Pistons.

32:11

Yes.

32:12

Yeah, Detroit Pistons.

32:15

Way to go, Bobby.

32:15

Did Blake Griffin ever play basketball here in Los Angeles? I thought he played for the Lakers, but no. Is there another team in LA?

32:25

What? Is there another team in LA? Yeah, yeah.

32:27

The Lakers. Give me the first initial.

32:29

C.

32:30

Is that the Celtics?

32:31

Yes. I did play for the Celtics.

32:33

Did you really?

32:34

That's not the LA. That's Boston though.

32:35

That's Boston.

32:36

There you go.

32:37

Clippers.

32:38

Yeah. Yeah, there's one more, but this one could be tough. Give me the city. No, the city's that giveaway.

32:46

Yeah, I'm gonna give you the, I'll give you the state.

32:49

Yeah, give me the state, give me the state.

32:51

New York.

32:54

The New York.

32:55

The New York, give me the first initial.

32:57

No, no, no, come on. Why? Because I want you to find it. Okay. In fact, the team didn't used to be in New York. They were in New Jersey. Maybe that helps. It won't. That makes it substantially harder.

33:08

It makes it so much harder, yeah.

33:08

Can you just give me the first initial, man?

33:11

You're making it embarrassing.

33:12

It's an integral part to a basketball hoop.

33:15

That's right.

33:16

The name of the team.

33:17

Cylinders.

33:18

Yes.

33:19

Ah, yes. The New York cylinders. The Brooklyn Cylinders. The Brooklyn Cylinders. Even if we tell you the Brooklyn, do you know the team in Brooklyn? Do you know who they are?

33:27

Let's just move on, dude.

33:28

Okay.

33:29

Yeah, yeah, give me the initial, first initial.

33:29

Well, what is the part of a basketball hoop that you know, other than the rim?

33:32

The rim.

33:34

And the net. There's no fucking New York nets. Yes. We just told you this. Oh really? Brooklyn Nets. Fuck dude. Yeah. You're really good on that dude.

33:45

Here I am, thanks man. You're a big fan right?

33:48

Zoom into that real fast. That's a great squad by the way. Look at that dude, look at the powerhouse.

33:53

Oh yeah.

33:54

But here's what- Can you name any of those guys? I'll try. All the way to the right. There it is. Yeah. Spunky Webb, is he in that? Yeah, Spunky Webb is in the top middle. Who else? Name these guys, I know you know them.

34:07

David Chambers.

34:08

David Chambers on the top left.

34:09

Yes, very good. There's always one African guy, like Frank Lumanabajan.

34:15

Oh, oh, oh. No, it's Lumanimajan. So, and also there's always a Croatian or something. Yes. There's actually a Native American on that team right there.

34:25

Okay. Yeah.

34:26

Really? Which one's Native American?

34:28

Shadow Wolf.

34:29

Yes.

34:30

Is there a Shadow Wolf?

34:31

I will say about that guy, he got the ball stolen from him every single game.

34:35

But they gave him like his own little court.

34:39

Gave him a little side court. And he gets to play there. Yeah, I don't know much, dude. I don't know much. It doesn't matter, but this was an amazing team. Fear the Beard, number 13 is there, Durant, Tyree, that's a crazy crew.

34:52

You know who the white guy is?

34:53

Is he a legend?

34:55

He's an awesome guy. He's a great guy.

34:57

But he's not like the Hall of Fame type of, but he's like a- Like John Stockton. Not- That's a legend. That's a, yeah. That's one of the best players of all time.

35:07

Oh, Stockton is? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:10

Okay.

35:10

I can't believe I even know that.

35:12

His name is- John Stockton?

35:13

Yeah. You know more players than you lead on. Magic Johnson. Yes, see? Yeah. Who else? We got Scotty Pippin. 100%. See, I know you know, you know the old.

35:28

He knows a lot.

35:29

He does.

35:29

You're killing us, dude.

35:33

Yeah, I remember the Phoenix Suns Chambers, the center forward.

35:36

Center forward for the Phoenix Suns Chambers.

35:37

What's his first name?

35:38

Tom Chambers.

35:39

Tom Chambers, yeah. There you go. Chambers of Commerce. How do you know Tom Chambers? Video games. Video games, yeah. Video games should help.

35:51

I don't think I've met him. I may have met him before.

35:55

What legends have you met?

35:57

Most of them, if they're still alive.

35:59

Why are you laughing?

36:01

He's about to get into the Hall of Fame. I know, he's great. Well, he knows the legends. He is a legend.

36:06

This is more about you than him.

36:07

No, no, no, no, no.

36:08

Can I just say something?

36:09

Yeah.

36:10

Right, there's certain comedy legends that I don't know.

36:13

Who?

36:14

I've never met, fuck.

36:16

Russell Brand.

36:17

You're right. You know everybody and everybody knows you. There is one legend I don't know. Ram Dass, you're not familiar with Ram Dass.

36:26

Ram Dass I don't know.

36:27

Yeah, you don't know him.

36:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:34

You've met Eddie.

36:35

I've never met Eddie. We've never met Eddie.

36:36

We met him together.

36:37

No, I've never a Instagram notification. See if I still have it. From whom?

36:47

Oh no, it's gonna be a big name, dude. Deepak Chopra?

36:48

Richard Pryor started following me.

36:50

Whoa!

36:51

Whoa, that's a good one!

36:52

Good news, bad news. One, he's live.

36:54

Good news.

36:56

Is he hanging out with Epstein?

36:58

I don't know. That really shocked me.

37:00

Richard Pryor started following you. Yeah. Does Richard Pryor follow you? No. God, I'm a little bummed that Pryor followed you

37:06

from the grave. Maybe Rain Pryor. You know, his daughter.

37:09

Oh, right, maybe she runs the account.

37:11

Maybe Rain Pryor does, yeah.

37:12

Richard.

37:14

Yeah, Rain P follow me, but I don't follow him back.

37:27

Does he follow me?

37:28

Yeah.

37:28

I didn't know whether to follow back or not.

37:30

I don't think it's a follow back. This is a corporate account run by someone else. I mean, yeah.

37:34

He follows like a kiltoni.

37:36

Yeah, he's a big kiltoni.

37:38

Oh, right here met him one time.

37:45

Yeah, nice.

37:46

The Hick from French Lick.

37:47

That's what they call him. Really? Talk the most shit. He was a dog, right? He would talk heavy shit. Wait, this reminds me, on the car ride,

37:55

you're gonna fucking love this. On the car ride from this weekend when we were on tour, so this guy that opens for me, Devontre Coleman, great comic, he's sitting there and he kind of giving me looks because the driver's saying a couple things, uncomfortable things, and he goes, well, tell you what, you guys are better than Tupac,

38:14

I had him and he was not nice. And Devontre goes, you had Tupac in the car? He goes, just a couple months ago, had him. I go, well, we should alert the press. That's fucking huge. And the Devontrae has given me the, don't egg this guy on cause he's going to say wild shit.

38:32

And then I go, yeah, so what, what was Tupac's deal? He's like, well, he brought weed and you know, they lost his bag and he had to have his pot. And I was like, Tupac lost his weed that he trapped. By the way, Oregon, weed's very legal there. So Tupac brought weed a couple months ago and got lost his bag. And then he goes, yeah.

38:51

And I go, you sure it was Tupac? He goes, oh yeah. He sings, funky cold Medina. That's what, swear to God.

39:01

In Oregon, this is in Oregon. Oregon, Funky Colmedino. Staying true to the West Coast.

39:05

Yeah, who is of course, Tone Loke.

39:09

Not Tupac. Tupac Tupac. And I said, are you sure it's not Tone Loke? He goes, that's who it is. That was him.

39:14

Ah.

39:15

Well, he was Epstein files. And then he goes, I go, well, you know, they should public execute. You know, they should just do like, we should do public execution. And it should be pay-per-view, you'd pay for it. And we're joking around about it. And then he goes, I agree, I agree. And I go, yeah, you like that? We should take out everyone on the list? He goes, yeah, I prefer, just historically, because of me, I prefer hanging myself. And Devontre just slowly turned to me. And I was like, all right, brother,

39:52

I think let's stop chatting. I'm gonna get on my phone now. He literally said, I prefer hanging.

39:57

Wow.

39:58

And I was like, ahem.

39:59

Prefer hanging.

40:01

Yeah, yeah. Oh boy, that's tough. Because you forget, dude, Oregon's the West Coast, but rural Oregon is not, rural Oregon is not.

40:11

Are you like a get in the Uber or is this like a driver?

40:13

It's a driver that works.

40:14

You get in and you right away, you're like, all right, let me feel them out. Because I try to go quiet.

40:18

Because you never know what you're going to open up. And then I always get nervous. I'm like, if they're familiar with you at all, for you, it's gotta be impossible for them to not know who you are. We can kind of get away with it sometimes, but then I think, they're listening to every word that we're saying.

40:31

Yeah.

40:32

So especially if I'm with people that are opening for me, I'm always like, we should, because sometimes people talk about stuff that we know and friends, I think about that all the time.

40:45

I mostly think about it when I'm just getting a bug.

40:48

Just huffing a bug.

40:51

You just make eye contact.

40:54

I just, there's the, hey, hello, how are you? And then I try to, sometimes I just take AirPods and I go, hey guys, yeah, I'm here. I'm in a car, so I'm gonna be on mute, but I'm listening. I watch TikTok videos.

41:06

So good.

41:06

I did the phone call thing too, but the ride was like an hour and a half. It was tough to keep that up.

41:10

Yeah.

41:11

I had to improvise a fake phone call for two hours.

41:14

No, Johnny!

41:16

You know what I mean? Just making shit up. How did we lose the deal? Yeah, yeah. How did we lose it? Two hours of that. We had a driver in England that we had on video that we posted. We were asking him questions because we really wanted to know. Like he showed us the studio, right? That was Abbey Road was accorded at, right?

41:35

And then we pass it and we're like, what's that? And he's like, oh yeah? And we're like, yeah, sure, that's fine. He talked to us forever. We didn't, nothing, nothing came out of that.

41:51

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41:52

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42:11

My favorite thing is you can do this from anywhere. Look, a lot of people still use traditional therapy when you go in to talk to someone in an office or a house or whatever, but for a lot of people that are busy, you have families, you have multiple jobs. You have a lot going on. You can do this from the comfort of your own home, on your lunch break, at your office.

42:25

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42:34

Oh my God. Let us tell you more about whyDR through Talkspace and whatnot, and it's completely taken the weight off my shoulders.

42:48

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42:51

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42:53

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42:56

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43:22

Yeah, come on. Let me see you with the shoes on. You're 6'9".

43:26

Holy shit. Are you dating, married? What's going on with you?

43:29

I'm just getting right down to it.

43:32

He's always interested.

43:33

Yeah, I go direct.

43:34

Because if you have that big a feet, he's kind of.

43:36

I have bonds out here. Oh, okay. Yeah, how dare you? Spiritually? Yeah, spiritually maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you dating, what's going on?

43:47

Yeah, I'm engaged. Yeah.

43:50

I'm engaged, yeah.

43:51

Thanks.

43:51

Amazing, amazing.

43:52

Thank you so much.

43:53

And guess who's gonna be the flower girl?

43:55

Bobby.

43:56

You would be such a cute flower girl.

43:58

I would be the best.

43:59

A little sundress. I would literally do it. Just floating down. Yeah, yeah, I would literally do it. You with the flower. I mean, you'd make it such a show.

44:05

Do you have a date already or no?

44:07

September, yes. Labor Day weekend.

44:09

9-11. I made 9-11.

44:11

September 11th.

44:12

It's a good time to do it.

44:13

Love is in the air.

44:14

Yeah.

44:14

Never forget. take time? Yeah, pretty special from the beginning.

44:25

He's looking for love is why he's so inquisitive because we're trying to find him love again because he's really, he wants it back.

44:32

I'm dating somebody. Oh, how's that going?

44:34

How did you guys meet?

44:35

Yeah, yeah.

44:36

At the comic store, but I'm-

44:37

Is she a comic?

44:38

No.

44:39

No, no, ready to go.

44:45

It's beautiful.

44:46

I think I'm ready.

44:47

Yeah.

44:48

Yeah.

44:49

But-

44:50

What makes you know you're ready? He's 54.

44:51

Oh, okay.

44:54

Wow.

44:54

Yeah.

44:55

Holy shit.

44:56

I'm about to die.

44:57

That's how I know. to bury him in. So we figured we get that done, then we get a headstone. Then we get married on the plot of land. Save a little.

45:06

I've been taking a lot of these lately.

45:08

Yeah, that's a plug for the show.

45:09

No, but this is real. I asked Carlos last night, I go, bring me more Blu-Chew.

45:13

The funniest thing is we do do Blu-Chew reads for the show, they're at the house. You're just popping them like- Oh my God. No, no, no, no. It's just like, because I'm on Lexapro, you cannot get even a rep. Not at all?

45:28

At all.

45:29

So the Lexapro and the Bluetooth are just fighting.

45:33

Who wins?

45:33

That's the commercial. It works though. Coming is hard. Coming is hard. But without the Lexapro, you're fine.

45:45

Yeah, yeah.

45:46

I'm coming. I'm coming at the gym. I'm coming at home. You've seen that, right? Arnold, God, it's the best. Wait, but without the Lexapro, you are fine.

45:56

If I wasn't on it, no, yeah, I'd be fine. But you feel so much better on Lex. It's really astounding how it affects your sex drive. What are they called, SSRIs? Oh, like whole drive. I think the whole drive. Even now, it's like, last night I was at the comedy show, we were at the show, and I was going in the back, and there was a really cute girl, and she grabbed my wrist.

46:13

She's like, where are you going? Right?

46:15

I'm going home.

46:16

I think that's the whole show to end. Yeah. Then I'll position myself, smoke a cigarette outside of the main room door.

46:30

I know what you do.

46:30

Yeah, and then you grab them and go, what's up, you have fun? Right, but I didn't even do that. I did this and I went home.

46:36

But then if you did this and then you got in your car, I'll have to chat with that lady. Yeah, then I have to drive back. Yeah, you gotta go back. Yeah, but it affects my sex drive, I think. That's something that ballplayers can't do. Like you can't wait outside of the stadium, have a cigarette.

46:49

No, I usually don't.

46:50

Yeah.

46:51

No.

46:52

No.

46:53

But you know, guys will use the bench attendance, the locker room attendance. Ah. on the court during the game and they'll use the... Oh really, they'll do that? Go talk to that girl from, yeah, they send them over. That's great.

47:06

Like the single guys out. It's like Carlos is like your runner.

47:09

Except I would take the girls from the players.

47:11

Mm, okay, player.

47:12

I see you.

47:13

I would do half and half.

47:15

What are you talking about?

47:15

She said no, man. If you were an assistant at an NBA game, you would get a girl over Blake Griffin? Yeah, if he was pointing at a girl, I'd be like, hey, Blake, you know, he's got some other girls tonight, but you roll with me. You know, maybe we'll see him at 3am, 4am. And that would be fun.

47:32

Yeah.

47:33

It's the same when I do with Bob.

47:35

That is exactly, that is precisely.

47:36

Bob, I'm joking.

47:37

I don't know. Oh, that is legitimately true. It's the ketamine talking, the ketamine. Yeah. Are you guys doing ketamine?

47:45

No, I'm not on ketamine.

47:46

Yeah, he's on ketamine.

47:47

He was on this weekend. He's gonna be in timeout because he's supposed to be sober, but not happening, I guess. Okay. And they go to the gay nightclubs

47:55

and they party all night. I love, are you kidding me? Come on. You would have killed it at the Abbey.

48:05

Thanks man.

48:09

Make that part of your speech. I would have killed it at the Abbey, just letting you guys know.

48:17

Oh my gosh.

48:18

Would anybody make you nervous?

48:19

Yeah, does it make you nervous?

48:21

Never. Basketball, I played, I've literally been able to dribble ball

48:25

since I could walk.

48:26

Right.

48:26

It's kind of like us though.

48:27

Secondhand.

48:28

Well, I'm saying, we don't, you see someone famous in a crowd at a show, you're not, it's awesome. You're not, you're like stoking.

48:32

Yeah, I don't care.

48:33

I'm nervous. or Barack Obama's Jack even Barack Obama yeah but Barack was there you don't know

48:48

Barack there was a game look this up look up n64 Turok T you are okay to rock Obama is a game I'm gonna put out where Barack Obama's just fighting dinosaurs Barack Obamaurok Obama, taking back.

49:05

Okay.

49:06

That's Turok Obama.

49:08

That's why he's so staunch on the fossil fuels.

49:11

That's exactly right, dude.

49:12

So you don't get intimidated if Barack or something was in the sideline?

49:17

I don't know how to say it, I refuse to say it right.

49:20

No, no, he's saying it right. Yeah, yeah.

49:21

Bull Rock. Bull Rock, Obama. Bull Rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't get nervous, like they go,

49:25

Bull Rock's here. Not nervous, I'd be like, wow, that's really cool.

49:28

The guy was in office for fucking almost a decade and it's Bull Rock to him. Never once did you hear the news and go, Bobby's just outing himself as a Fox News guy. Big time. Turning point. God damn it, Borak! Turning point guy.

49:46

Hussein Obama!

49:47

Yeah, how was the-

49:49

Show me his papers, was he even born here?

49:51

Show me!

49:52

How was the Kid Rock concert, by the way?

49:54

It was really good.

49:55

So good, we were there.

49:56

Yeah.

49:57

Yeah, we went.

49:57

Drink my beer, kiss my frog.

49:59

Fish my fish. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, I was listening to Bad Boonie. Yeah. Amazing performance.

50:05

Bad Boonie.

50:07

Yeah, it was great.

50:08

What a great performance.

50:09

It was insane.

50:10

Flawless.

50:11

It was insane. It was insane.

50:12

I didn't understand one word he said.

50:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't care.

50:14

I put up the Google translate TV. Fuck, I'm in. Yeah, let's go. More boonie. He understood every word, because Fancy's from Spain, so he really got that. That really tickled you, didn't it?

50:27

Yeah, it's not deep.

50:28

It's not deep?

50:29

Oh wow, I just picked up on the accent. Yeah.

50:32

The whole time I thought.

50:33

Thank you. He's working hard to cover it up. Oh, don't cover up your pain from. That was actually surprisingly easy to convince you of. Yeah. He's an American citizen now, so he's safe. He's safe in here with us.

50:47

Oh.

50:48

Yeah, that was a big deal for us for a while.

50:49

Yeah, yeah, we got him in.

50:51

And you're all good, obviously.

50:53

Not really.

50:54

You say that, I mean, we don't really know. Yeah, maybe famous really. You did wanna fight a random fan.

51:06

I did wanna fight-

51:07

I mean, the Malice of the Palace is one of the greatest things that ever happened. Oh, that, throwing the water on that guy is-

51:11

You know who that is?

51:12

Who?

51:12

Will Meldman.

51:13

Wait, that's Will?

51:14

Yeah.

51:15

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. So it was a bit. Who's that was? Yeah, Will Melvin right there in the yellow shirt. Oh wow. Warriors fan. I badly wanted it to be someone you didn't know. Yeah. Because it was a great bit.

51:29

He threw water. He reenacted it like a year, like right after the playoffs.

51:31

Oh, you did?

51:32

Yeah. He threw water on a guy in a Warriors shirt.

51:35

By accident.

51:36

Yeah, it was an accident. By accident. I can't even tell with the hat on. You've never done that. You've never thrown something at a fan. Have you ever had something thrown at you?

51:45

I've kicked somebody.

51:46

Who'd you kick?

51:49

Why?

51:50

What? As a joke, but I think I did too hard.

51:51

It hurt.

51:52

I go, get the fuck out of here.

51:53

How often are you guys kicking out hecklers?

51:56

Not as much anymore. now that's Bobby if he was a, but yeah, Bobby would be Draymond Green. Yeah. A hundred percent.

52:06

A hundred percent.

52:07

I'd be Rodman.

52:08

No. Why not?

52:10

No, the worm is.

52:11

I'm good defensively.

52:12

In the dress.

52:13

Don't get defensive, dude. Okay.

52:15

Yeah.

52:16

Yeah.

52:17

You're Rodman.

52:18

Yeah.

52:19

You're Rodman when you got buried. I'd be wild. What basketball player would I be if I was a famous ball player? Oh shit, that's a good one. Steph Curry. That's a huge compliment.

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52:26

Yeah, that was.

52:27

No, Stephen Kerr.

52:28

Steve Kerr. Steve Kerr. Is that who you meant when you said Steph Curry?

52:31

Yes, I did, I did, I did, I did.

52:33

Steve, Steve Kerr.

52:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Steve Curry, yeah guy's a dog. What about me? That'd be Yao Ming? No, no. I'm Yao Ming.

52:45

Jeremy Lin.

52:46

Oh, Jeremy Lin I would be.

52:48

Wow.

52:48

Who is the, was there ever a short Asian ball player that made it? Never.

52:54

Like made it, made it?

52:55

Yeah.

52:57

Honestly, Jeremy had a nice run for it.

52:59

Jeremy's only 6'3", something like that, 6'2". Oh, you're talking about shorter. Oh, Yuki Kawamura was 5'8", Japanese point guard.

53:06

Yeah, he plays for Memphis right now.

53:08

Yeah, he still plays, yeah.

53:10

Wow, Yuki Kawamura, 5'8". He's good. That could be you.

53:15

He's a good player.

53:16

Yeah, yeah, but he's the draft. Well, I mean, yeah, some people. Yuki, first round draft, Yuki goes to the Bulls.

53:29

Can you imagine what this did for Japan? I mean, they probably lost their mind when he got drafted.

53:32

Yeah. Well, by the way, Rui Hachimura.

53:34

Oh, Hachimura, he's half, right?

53:35

He's half Japanese.

53:37

No.

53:37

And he's really good. like six, nine, six, eight, six, nine. He's the fucking man. Yeah. He's Asian? Really nice guy too. But here's the problem, Blake.

53:46

Look, zoom in.

53:46

Yeah.

53:47

Zoom in.

53:48

Here's the problem. Enhance.

53:50

What's the other half?

53:51

Enhance.

53:51

He's Asian.

53:52

What's the other half? Just spinning.

53:57

Yeah.

54:07

It always does.

54:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:09

First name and last name won.

54:11

Yeah.

54:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:12

Rui Hachimura. Hachimura. And there's him with his peers.

54:15

And speaks, you know, obviously speaks it.

54:17

So his dad was Asian, mom was white.

54:20

Not black, I mean. No, his parents were white. They were both white. And this was a big point of contention.

54:25

It was a big mishap.

54:27

The hospital was getting real loose in there.

54:29

How do you, did you guys see this woman who gave birth a black, is a white woman, gave birth a black kid and accused the husband

54:37

of cheating on her with a black woman.

54:39

I've seen it time and time again.

54:43

It's called the Blake Griffin autobiography.

54:47

His mom is black.

54:48

Brother.

54:50

Brother.

54:51

Should we dive into it?

54:52

Why is that a weird?

54:54

Dude, clearly his mom is Asian. What the fuck? His dad is black.

54:59

How does he get the last name Yukonoma Morura? Uh, have you ever... Do we... Explain it to me, seriously.

55:06

Maybe he grew up with his mom, is all I'm gonna say. I don't know this for a fact, but maybe.

55:12

That's his mom.

55:13

Wow. No, that's his dad.

55:15

Oh.

55:16

Yes.

55:17

Oh, all right.

55:18

That's his mom. Yeah, that's his mom. That must be his dad...

55:26

Oh, look at...

55:26

Boy, I'll tell you what, this is tough to tiptoe around.

55:30

What?

55:31

How about this, Blake? As a half in the NBA...

55:36

Oh, you're half, that's right.

55:37

You're half? Yeah, yes. You're one of the greatest halves that ever lived.

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55:40

Thanks.

55:41

Yeah. Thanks. I mean, you've got to be an inspiration to all the other halves. Your combo is what? Your mom's white?

55:45

My mom is white with red hair.

55:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

55:47

He's me.

55:48

He's me if we flip.

55:50

And your dad's a large black man.

55:52

And my dad is, yeah, my dad's a black man.

55:54

Is he large?

55:55

He is large, yeah, he's six, four, six, eight. His dad's that little Japanese guy. Yeah. Yeah. Are they still together?

56:05

They are still together. Amazing. Yeah, it's a beautiful story. Oh, that's amazing. Do you ever go home and go, I'm gonna come, where do they, like what city?

56:12

Oklahoma City.

56:13

I wanna go back to Oklahoma City. I'm just gonna go to my old room and stay for the weekend.

56:17

Do you ever do that? I've since moved to a different house that I grew up in. But you helped them. Same bed though from your childhood. Same bed. Same bed.

56:25

Yeah. And is it nice to get just wake up in the morning, your mom's cooking up something.

56:28

Yeah. What do you think as a white redhead lady married to a black man in Oklahoma?

56:32

Corned beef hash.

56:34

Right in your face.

56:35

By the way, love Corned beef for the Irish, hash for the black side. Exactly. Hashish. Hashish, sorry.

56:45

Corned beef, hashish.

56:46

Yeah.

56:47

Now I'm gonna ask something controversial. Oh boy. Yeah, we can cut it out if you want. It's a real question. It's a real question. Does your house smell more-

56:54

You got my mom's dick.

56:56

I thought so.

57:00

That was the question. Does your home smell more black or white? I knew you were gonna say that. You know what I mean? No, because there's a smell, right?

57:06

Yeah, there is.

57:07

If you go to my parents' house, it's full-blown Korean.

57:09

Oh yeah.

57:10

Yeah, yeah. You're like, all Koreans live here. Yeah. Right, so what do I smell? I'm spending the night here. My personal home. Yeah. I wake up. Oh, good morning, Blake.

57:25

Yeah, it smells like the White House. Not the White House, but a White House.

57:29

It smells like candles.

57:31

Yeah, just candles.

57:32

Cotton, cotton, fresh linen. That's a white person's candle.

57:38

Oh, okay, I got you.

57:40

The cotton thing was weird. Yeah, that actually threw me off. We both were like, where are you going with this, dude?

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57:48

White people's candles smell, it's like-

57:49

Okay.

57:50

It's like- Linen.

57:51

Yeah, yeah. Fresh linen, or they do like the-

57:53

Wood camping wood fire.

57:54

Okra.

57:55

Beach wood fire, no, that's a different one.

57:57

Beach wood.

57:58

Beach wood, beach wood.

57:58

Beach wood, yeah. What does it smell like? I mean, it's always like a little bit of a baseball glove with coffee. You know what I mean? And a little bit-

58:10

Oh wait, what was the first thing?

58:11

Baseball glove. Like a leathery baseball glove.

58:13

Drink my beer, fish my fish. A little apple pie. Do you listen to country? Don't. Yeah, yeah. What do you listen to? Um, what do I listen to?

58:27

Hip hop.

58:27

Hip hop, thank you. Hip hop. No, I like everything. I think I like, what do I like? I like, I like, I think my preference, if I could listen to anything all day long,

58:38

probably be closer to soul music than. Yeah, yeah, yeah. β™ͺ I don't know, I just like it. Yeah, that's my soul.

58:47

Redheads are black now.

58:50

Dooby dooby doo.

58:51

Well, now I'm just full black.

58:53

Yeah.

58:54

Your redheaded half got promoted to full black.

58:56

Full black, yeah. Pure bread. Pure bread. Pure bread. I love it when it's pure. There she is. I wanna meet your mom so bad.

59:05

She's a sweet lady.

59:05

Look at her, oh wow.

59:06

Yeah.

59:07

Isn't that your dad?

59:08

No.

59:09

No, that's just a guy that she met.

59:10

She just brought a guy to the game. And your brother is right down there who I love.

59:11

Your brother's a great man.

59:12

Taylor. He's got the red beard. Yeah, you kind of would have it. I would if I grew it out, but you never do I did once but I would you know what I would kind of like make sure it looked a little darker So did he shave because he was bald or he shaved to look not like you? He was he was going thin and he was like, you know what I'm not it's out anymore Dude, I've been working on it. No, it looks real. I use a thickening shampoo. Ah, yes.

59:46

And Kandish.

59:46

Got it.

59:47

I take the pills.

59:48

Yeah, I'm fighting it.

59:49

Carlos, he wants us to go fly him to Turkey. Show him what you got because he wants us to fly him to Turkey to fix that.

59:55

Oh, prime candidate.

59:58

Dude, you would be...

59:59

Dude, can you imagine? We said we wanted to fly him out for it. He already looked it up. I'll go.

1:00:05

They're having trouble in their government though.

1:00:06

It's a little scary. Can you imagine doing ketamine with a full head?

1:00:08

I mean.

1:00:12

Blake, I'd be unstoppable.

1:00:13

I'd be, it'd be Lob City.

1:00:14

You'd be at the Abbey just.

1:00:19

Whipping it back and forth.

1:00:21

It would be Lob City 3.0. Oh, dude. It'd be crazy.

1:00:25

Man, I love you. That might be too much power for one man.

1:00:27

That's why. That's why God did that because they go, this guy's too handsome and cool. We give him hair as well. It's trouble. That's trouble.

1:00:34

I would like to. I've had, I mean, people love the results.

1:00:38

Yeah. Honestly though, we looked it up, right? How much did you say it costs for the whole head? Six grand. Six Gs for Turkey?

1:00:49

Wow.

1:00:50

Yeah, it's not bad.

1:00:51

We'll send you to Turkey. Can we send them to Turkey?

1:00:52

Why don't we just do a little GoFundMe right now? Let me start it.

1:00:56

You could fund me. Whoa. I could, but we just met. We don't need to go fund me, we have the funds here.

1:01:05

All right.

1:01:05

Wow, dude, that's really aggressive.

1:01:06

You know what, let's make a little bet and maybe I'll fund your hair transplant.

1:01:13

Let's make a bet with him and let's see if it works.

1:01:14

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:01:15

What's the bet?

1:01:16

Who are the matchup in the finals?

1:01:20

Oh, so you're gonna pick. Yeah, I'll pick. Yeah, you pick. If you pick correctly, I'll fund your hair.

1:01:26

This is amazing.

1:01:27

Do you need some time to look at standings?

1:01:30

No, he's a diehard.

1:01:31

Oh, you're a, oh.

1:01:32

Okay. He's a diehard. Basketball is his number one sport that he pays attention to.

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1:01:37

Okay.

1:01:38

And by the way, I'll let me pick for you no for you please God no yeah yeah let me hang high sharks with the Asian Tigers are we talking

1:01:53

basketball like NBA NBA okay NBA right can I pick for you are we talking

1:01:58

basketball hey you do high school your local high school yeah are you pick Bob

1:02:03

but okay yeah no give us your real pick the Sonics I already know okay the AAU, do high schools, do local high schools. All right, you pick, Bob, but. Okay. Yeah.

1:02:05

No, give us your real pick.

1:02:06

The Sonics?

1:02:07

I already know.

1:02:08

The Sonics. So yes, he picks the Sonics.

1:02:11

I was gonna say OKC versus Celtics. I think the Celtics are gonna go.

1:02:14

Wow, really? I love that pick. I love that pick.

1:02:17

All right, so how about this? because the Sonics are now the Oklahoma City Thumb. Isn't that kind of crazy? So you were-

1:02:25

I already knew that. I was just saying the old school name.

1:02:26

Right.

1:02:27

I already knew that.

1:02:28

I know.

1:02:29

I already know that.

1:02:31

Exactly.

1:02:32

What's that one?

1:02:33

What? The New York Knick.

1:02:34

The New York Knicks.

1:02:35

What?

1:02:36

Knick has that. Yeah, the short, we dropped the A. The New York Knickas. Yeah, yeah.

1:02:45

Yeah.

1:02:46

They were really good.

1:02:47

And these Knickas are running up and down the floor.

1:02:50

By God, have you ever seen a Knicka run so fast?

1:02:53

This Knicka's jumping out of the gym.

1:02:56

I mean, he...

1:02:57

Why can't we have that? Yes, we can. The Boston Celtics have no answer on defense. They must be saying, Nica, please.

1:03:05

Oh, man.

1:03:06

I got to be honest. I love your pick. I mean, Oklahoma City is obviously a big favorite. The Knicks is like an interesting one. It's a very interesting one. Jason Tatum's hurt.

1:03:21

He might be coming back.

1:03:22

I think he's coming back.

1:03:23

Wait, wait. So you think it's going to be OKC and who? The Celtics. I think Tatum's coming back in a couple of weeks. Oh, so you think the Celtics. OK. OKC and the Celtics you really think can do it. Do you think he's going to be full of strength? No, but I think in the playoffs he will be and I think he'll overtake the Pistons because if you have any knowledge more than this. I love it so much. Dude, I'm actually, I would not. No, he might be right.

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1:03:46

I would not argue that.

1:03:47

My money would be on Detroit though.

1:03:49

The Pistons are young. They are the best team in the, Bobby, you're loving this, aren't you?

1:03:53

Yeah.

1:03:54

He's been staring at the standings trying to make sense of it.

1:03:56

Well, he's trying to match the names should be changed. Like the Cavalier, what is a Cavalier? Couldn't agree more. Yeah. I couldn't agree more.

1:04:05

I mean, that's like a hard thing.

1:04:05

Do you know what city?

1:04:06

What? No, I don't. I've never even heard of it before.

1:04:09

Cleveland, but where do you think they should be called?

1:04:11

A Cavalier?

1:04:11

I've never heard of it before. sort of, you know what I mean? So Cleveland what? Hands. Cleveland hands. You know what I mean? Cleveland hands.

1:04:25

Yeah.

1:04:25

Because that's what they use. That's right.

1:04:28

Yeah, yeah. They're really getting their hands in there.

1:04:30

Yeah, yeah, the Cleveland feet.

1:04:32

Cleveland feet.

1:04:34

Your feet.

1:04:34

Stuff that they use. All right, so how about the- That's even simpler that like, cause I have a calf. No calves, but you're right. You know what? They do go by the calves. Right, yeah. How about Toronto Raptors? Do you like the Raptors?

1:04:49

I don't like it either. Let's do an animal that exists.

1:04:53

The star player, Turok Obama.

1:04:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:04:56

How about the rain frogs?

1:04:59

The Toronto rain frogs.

1:05:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a ton of those. I love, have you ever seen an African Rain Frog?

1:05:05

Careful?

1:05:06

No, it's not careful. Careful. They're the saddest creatures on earth. They're so cute though. Have you seen it?

1:05:10

Why can't they be happy?

1:05:11

Yeah.

1:05:12

Look at Zoom in.

1:05:13

Okay, yeah, they got a little frown.

1:05:14

Look at that.

1:05:15

They're very sad. gonna sell. Look at that dude! Why are they so sad? Oh... You know that when they're born their fathers leave right away. Okay so go back. Okay let's go back. Okay so then the 76ers are Philadelphia what do you like about them? Wait the 76ers

1:05:36

what does that even mean? Come on. Are some arbitrary number? 1776. No dude

1:05:45

No, no, no.

1:05:46

Let's just make up a 1942s.

1:05:48

The guy who bought the team was actually 76.

1:05:51

Some arbitrary, I don't like 76ers.

1:05:54

Okay, so what in Philadelphia would represent a team better, do you think?

1:05:57

Philadelphia.

1:05:58

They've got Rocky, they've got the Lidl.

1:06:01

The Philadelphia Fentanyls.

1:06:02

Yes! Filly Fence. The Filly Fence.

1:06:06

Yeah, the fence dude. Cause they have that street.

1:06:09

Let's go fence! Just Bob out. All right, Orlando Magic.

1:06:16

Yeah, Magic's good.

1:06:17

Yeah, that's cool.

1:06:18

Yeah, yeah, Magic is cool.

1:06:19

Orlando, Disney, Magic.

1:06:20

Yeah, I like it.

1:06:21

No, I like it a lot.

1:06:25

Yeah, so what? What do you like better, not a hurricane?

1:06:28

Miami, but it is hot there.

1:06:30

Very.

1:06:31

Yeah, sweats.

1:06:33

Miami sweats.

1:06:34

Yeah, Miami sweatings.

1:06:35

Yeah, yeah, sweating. You sweat when you're there.

1:06:37

I think it should be based on the city too. All right, what about the Charlotte Hornets? Never been to Charlotte. Are there Hornets there? They're everywhere. They're inside the stadium. They play mid-game.

1:06:47

Yeah, yeah.

1:06:48

They do the sound of the hive.

1:06:50

Whoa. So keep it that then.

1:06:52

And I know that you're going to correct this one. That's the Atlanta Hawks. What are those going to be?

1:06:57

Careful.

1:06:57

Atlanta Hawks.

1:06:58

What goes on in Atlanta? What? Shit, man. Tyler Perry. Yeah, yeah, oh. Oh, the Atlanta Madeas?

1:07:06

Yeah.

1:07:07

Yeah.

1:07:09

You better pass that ball.

1:07:11

Uh-uh, uh-uh.

1:07:16

No. Well, the Atlanta Madeas and then the Chicago Bulls. Do you like the Chicago Bulls? That's my home team.

1:07:24

Well, can I just, are they indigenous to the city?

1:07:27

Bulls?

1:07:28

Back in the day, before the city. They're running wild in Illinois. We've had bulls running the streets for years.

1:07:34

Years.

1:07:35

Yeah.

1:07:35

Because I've been there a bunch of times, I've never seen a bull. Well, they hide to upset you. Yeah, but why the- Why the bull? Yeah, yeah. Well, the bears and the cubs had a shared thing because a cub for a bear, but the bulls were just their own entity. They didn't want to have another bear.

1:07:52

But like the Chicago winds.

1:07:53

Well, wind? Yeah.

1:07:56

Well, we had to-

1:07:57

It's so cold, right?

1:07:57

Yeah, yeah? Yeah. What are we called?

1:08:05

No, no, no, the storm is-

1:08:06

What are we called?

1:08:07

The Chicago?

1:08:12

Yeah. Chicago sky.

1:08:13

That's right, Angel Reef, shut up. So you're okay with Bull or no? Would you want something else? Because Chicago is Alish. Yeah, yeah, I like that.

1:08:25

Okay. Yeah, yeah, we keep it at Deep Dish.

1:08:27

All right, let's finish off the round. Milwaukee Bucks. Now this is true to Milwaukee. Wisconsin is filled with Bucks. You like Bucks or you want something else for Wisconsin?

1:08:36

They love cheese.

1:08:37

Fear the deer is what they say. Wisconsin cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah cheese. All right, and of course Blake's old old team the Brooklyn What do we say nets? Yeah, you like nets? Yeah big proponent of the game Brooklyn hipsters Brooklyn hipsters. Yeah. Yeah, because there's a lot of hipsters there. All right, Indiana Pacers. What would you like? Do you like that pacemakers pacemakers? Yeah, there are a lot of elderly people. Yeah. Yeah. And then finally, out of Washington DC, the Wizards, Washington.

1:09:07

Warlocks.

1:09:08

Warlocks.

1:09:09

I'm more of a warlock guy.

1:09:09

The Washington warlocks it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby Lee's locked in his picks.

1:09:13

Those are my picks, yeah.

1:09:13

Carlos has locked in his picks for the finals. And if it comes true, our fans are gonna know, Blake Griffin did agree to get you to Turkey or Spain to get a full on hair transplant. So that's an air shake, air shake it.

1:09:27

Huge, huge.

1:09:28

That would be incredible.

1:09:29

It's not gonna happen. Even if you win, I don't think Blake's gonna do it.

1:09:32

If one team gets there.

1:09:33

I was just gonna say.

1:09:36

Half of it.

1:09:37

That's not bad.

1:09:38

I'll let you choose which half. But it's got to be right down the middle. No, just from back. No, it'd be funnier if it was just this half was full hair.

1:09:46

Oh, I see.

1:09:47

Okay.

1:09:47

Half was nowhere.

1:09:48

Yeah. Wow.

1:09:49

That is kind of a good move.

1:09:51

I think I'm honestly pulling for you.

1:09:53

Me too.

1:09:54

You're welcome.

1:09:55

I want to get surgery. What do you want to get done? the bones and they put a gap so I can be taller. How tall are you? Five, three and a half.

1:10:06

Ooh, okay.

1:10:07

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's that?

1:10:08

No, I just, I love that the half is still being used.

1:10:12

Got it.

1:10:13

Five, four, five, four.

1:10:15

Five, four. He's five, three. I'm five, we've talked about. Fuck, I'm looks so good. You look amazing. It can increase your height to six inches now They break your legs and all that shit put the bones in there. It's a hundred grand you want to bet Blake for this

1:10:32

I'll make it easier the Wizards Sure, right and the Wizards go back to the that list that you had

1:10:41

I did know that list was by teams and in place that they're in in the league. So go with.

1:10:45

I know, that's why I don't, yeah, I want long shots. How about the Wizards and the Pacers?

1:10:50

Okay.

1:10:51

Yeah.

1:10:52

Yeah.

1:10:53

Completely impossible. They're both from the same conference. Let's pick one from the Western conference. All right.

1:10:58

Pick one from this list. Zoom in a little bit more the Wizards and the Suns go to the bottom Wizards and the Kings, baby

1:11:06

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you might wizards and the Kings make the NBA Finals. I will pay for your leg length You will I promise you yeah

1:11:14

Wizards and I'll even give you score

1:11:17

Okay

1:11:18

86 to 14. That's the what yeah of the game. Yeah, that's the score of the game and the Wizards win it

1:11:24

I have it best Wizards win it. Avid basketball.

1:11:25

The Wizards win by...

1:11:26

86 by that many points. 14. And then you have to, you better do it. You better pay for my surgery.

1:11:32

The Wizards have to win by 62.

1:11:34

It would be so funny if a pandemic broke out, all these guys got sick again, ended up in the middle of it. That would be amazing. Incredible. Yeah, it's impossible, but I want it. It's impossible. There's not even a 1% chance. No, no, literally.

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1:11:47

No, yeah, no, it's a one in a zillion.

1:11:50

I think. Can you go down to the bottom? They have 12 wins and then 44 losses. So they would have to get to. I mean, they're not technically

1:12:00

eliminated from the playoffs, but it's approaching fast. If they win every single game from now on.

1:12:05

Yes.

1:12:05

If they win, so what are they? They're at 56 games, so they have 26 games left. If they win out, 26 would put them at 38 wins. And then the 10th seed, no, sorry, the 11th seed, 20. Yeah, they could technically make it.

1:12:21

Hypothetically, yeah. Hypothetically hypothetically. Yes, and you know for your sit for your legs I hope they do yeah me too for your wonderful little legs. I hope they yeah, dude. Can you imagine the confidence you'd have? With that height yeah, no dude. I have confidence now guy. Yeah, no I think it a guy don't ever challenge

1:12:38

You guy I never have never will I know you have okay, you know what that's on me. Yeah, I'll rip you out What's that mean?

1:12:48

You know I'll stretch you out here. You want me to stretch you out stretch me out. Yeah, why pause? I don't you stretch him out. Yeah, it's a sexual innuendo. No. It's not what is stretch you out legs Put your legs right out there. Yeah, you just want to make him comfortable. Yeah, you'll be able to do, you know, play again. You guys go to fight, he just becomes your physical therapist. He's like, this is the hand he's gotta get loose.

1:13:11

You drinking enough water?

1:13:13

Yeah.

1:13:16

Honestly, I think if that happens, I would love it for you. But I think you are the perfect little height. God made you the height that you're supposed to be. Even if I had it for free, I wouldn't do it.

1:13:25

Because you can't walk for like two years after that.

1:13:27

You don't walk much.

1:13:28

I know.

1:13:29

It looks so painful. Have you seen the guys like rehabbing?

1:13:32

No, let me see the guys rehabbing.

1:13:34

There's like a guy on TikTok that did it. And oh dude, they have like the metal things things that come outside. Like the fuller scum plate? Wow, wow, wow. It's almost like you like fractured your tibia. Even the photos are insane.

1:13:47

That guy gained like four inches, five inches.

1:13:49

Wow, it does work.

1:13:51

100%, of course it does. I mean, this is gonna be detrimental when they're older. I mean, their bodies are gonna literally fall apart.

1:13:55

Can you like run after?

1:13:57

Yeah, oh dude. There's no chance this has any, this has got to be so unhealthy for your insides. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like there's no way this is not really bad for you.

1:14:08

He put a giant plate over his gout.

1:14:10

He installed that. He wanted a plate penis.

1:14:12

It takes away the-

1:14:13

Maybe if you're already in there.

1:14:15

While you're at it, man.

1:14:16

It's the challenge of life that's the thing.

1:14:19

Bodybuilder Brian decided to become, what does that say, how tall? Six six. So he got himself up. He was only what? I hate that they do this, 1.82 meter. I mean, come on, stop it with it. What are you doing? 1.82 meters is what?

1:14:32

I guess I'm the only one who used this weird.

1:14:35

Hey, you're a fucking American citizen. Watch your tone. Hey, hey, hey, come on. You guys are the only one that used to say stuff. Well, you moved here. Well, you moved here and you're happy here. Are you not happy here?

1:14:45

A little person did it.

1:14:46

Oh. Now she's a big little person. There's gotta be a name for that.

1:14:50

You gotta do the arms too, no? It looks weird.

1:14:53

She did it. Arms, dude. Wow, look at that. Yeah. To that young woman, happy for her that she got... Look at that, that looks... So this is who it's made for. Not little Korean men that want to get laid more. It's for people that need it for health.

1:15:12

I'm assuming she had knee replacement.

1:15:15

You would know, basketball player. I mean, you can see that on my...

1:15:17

I'm going to need it. I'm going to need it in my left. I think my right might be okay, but I'm putting it off as much as possible. What about hips? Hips, I'm okay, I think.

1:15:25

You know, you recommended me, I will say, if the moment of truth. I had a, you know, my hip was bad, my back was bad. He recommended me someone that helped me get much better for injections on my hip because of all that hip pain that I had. was the one that introduced me to a doctor that helped fix me. What's ailing you, Bobby?

1:15:48

Wow. His body's great. I think my body is pretty good. I think when you're smaller, it doesn't break down as fast.

1:15:52

Yeah.

1:15:54

Yeah, that is true.

1:15:55

Bigger cars.

1:15:56

Do you do any physical activities?

1:15:58

I really don't do I don't do anything.

1:15:59

Who says? Zero. That probably helps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We talk about hiking a lot. Yeah. So I don't know, it's never gonna happen, but we do chat about it.

1:16:06

But if I sit down eight hours and play a video game, that's when I feel that, when I get up, I'm like, ah!

1:16:11

You would imagine. Yeah. Yeah, eight hours in a video game chair.

1:16:14

When you, I've done that where I didn't even get up Eight hours with nothing? Nothing. What do you play? I'll just play like Starfield or something like that. Elden Ray.

1:16:25

Oh yeah, obviously Starfield.

1:16:26

Yeah.

1:16:28

No, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:16:30

You guys are jocks.

1:16:32

No, no, no.

1:16:33

Let's be real, I'm a nerd.

1:16:34

First of all.

1:16:35

You're more nerdy, right?

1:16:36

Yeah. All of them. They all play so much. Oh, they do. They travel with like little things and set them up on the plane and play on the plane.

1:16:46

Wow. A lot of these guys, didn't Cat stream for a while? Like some of these guys, they get, they're so big into it. They, look, they travel with their, that was LeBron when he was 19 years old.

1:16:55

Yeah, now there's with video game briefcases, look at this, and they all travel with them now, especially because they're bored on those planes. Those team planes gotta be fucking amazing though, Blake.

1:17:10

Yeah, they're great. They're plenty of room.

1:17:13

Plenty of room.

1:17:14

I don't know, we're not getting a good shot there.

1:17:15

What is it, a 777 you guys all fly in?

1:17:17

It's like modified giant seven somethings. So the first class area, these huge seats, they recline, not lay flat. I always sit at the table because I played cards. So there'd be two chairs facing two chairs and a table in the middle and you play cards. Wow. There it is. That's the brief.

1:17:38

Yeah. So let me say this though, do rookies have to sit, they're assigned seats. Rookies

1:17:42

got to go back. In a way, because if you're new to a team too, like you get to the team and people have their seats already, so you just find an open seat or whatever.

1:17:50

You bully them?

1:17:52

Yeah, getting the back kid kind of thing.

1:17:53

Oh no.

1:17:54

Wedgie.

1:17:55

Yeah.

1:17:56

Yeah, like a little nookie, you know what I mean? A little Nugee. You'll get there, kiddo. You know? Ah, go to the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:18:05

Back in the back.

1:18:06

Not yet.

1:18:07

Yeah, the planes are nice.

1:18:08

That relationship always is interesting to me of when the teams have to travel together too, right? Because you don't, but you don't, NFL, they're required to be on that plane. on the team plane? Some guys... If you had a specific reason,

1:18:25

like a guy had to go see his family, somebody passed away or this or that, yes, but they prefer everybody be on the plane, for sure.

1:18:31

But is that true that nowadays a lot of guys get to sneak away and not have to fly on that plane?

1:18:36

I would say most guys fly the plane.

1:18:38

Do they?

1:18:38

Yeah.

1:18:38

Yeah.

1:18:39

Yeah.

1:18:39

NFL is crazy, right? NFL, you get fined if you don't sit on, if you don't get back on that plane. Yeah, I mean, if you don't have an excuse, like if you're like late to a flight,

1:18:46

If you miss a flight- What's a fine for being late to the flight?

1:18:50

If it happens one time, they may do, it depends on the guy, but maybe 10K. Every game I'd lose 100 grand. 100%. I was just gonna show, I was literally just about to say, can you imagine? All my money goes to that, yeah, yeah.

1:19:06

Do you guys ever take off if they don't show up?

1:19:09

Yeah.

1:19:10

Yeah. No.

1:19:10

No. And then what's that, that fine's gotta be insane.

1:19:13

There's a fine and then they just have to get themselves to wherever we're going. Yeah, there's been times. I don't know that on a team that I've been on that we've we've left somebody there's people people late Usually they won't leave unless it's like egregious But yeah guys have missed flights for sure

1:19:33

When you were on a plane did Kyrie ever talk about flat earth when you were on a plane flying through this? Happen so bad yeah as you're on the curvature of the earth, you guys have like an arsenal. FC has a 15 year old kid on the team. Imagine that being 15. Can't do

1:19:50

that in the NBA. You can't do that in the NBA. No. Why? You have to be child laws. Yeah. Child labor laws. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. We're pretty serious about

1:19:58

him. Yeah. You have to be one year removed from high school. Oh, I see. Okay. So a lot of guys go play.

1:20:05

But imagine being 15 and being in the NBA.

1:20:07

That'd be crazy.

1:20:08

I can't imagine.

1:20:09

You can't imagine it? But a 15-year-old probably wouldn't play. It wouldn't be the same. The level of play isn't there yet at 15. But dude, I mean, look at... And this is not me being rude, but soccer is remarkably different than basketball. 15, these guys are not developed yet enough to do what these guys do.

1:20:27

It's not the same.

1:20:28

Or you're saying that Erlin Harling is not huge? He's huge.

1:20:32

You're not-

1:20:35

At Manchester City.

1:20:35

Yeah. How old is he?

1:20:37

So like when Wemby was 15, he couldn't have played in the league. No, he would've gotten cooked. Because my point is, you're just not strong enough. These guys are super good at basketball. I'm not being rude about soccer, but it's a different world. It's skill set with running.

1:20:54

This is, that's when he was 15, Victor Weminyama. He's now 20.

1:20:59

He wouldn't be able to get a basket back then.

1:21:01

It would've been impossible for him to play in the league at that age.

1:21:03

I think that- Would he be able to get a basket though?

1:21:05

For sure.

1:21:06

Yeah, he could be out there, but like in terms of, the NBA is not about going to get a basket, it's about who can you guard? Like if you can't guard, like sure you can go out there and like we could put you out there and you could Like on defense, the NBA, it's called a pick-on league. So they just, they bring you up into a pick and roll, you have to switch that pick and roll,

1:21:27

and then now you have to guard Luka.

1:21:29

Coming down the hill.

1:21:30

It's impossible for an NBA player.

1:21:32

But you know in the 90s, I would have been the white in the corner. Just the white in the corner. And there he is, the red streak in the corner.

1:21:38

Steve Kercurry. Steve Redcurry. Right there in the corner. Got in the shot pocket and it got bucked.

1:21:47

Steve Redcurry. I'm a redheaded Indian guy, half redheaded. Give me the ball man, I'm ready to shoot. I'm in a three point stance man. I'll pop one in your eye man. Steve Redcurry. I never dribble. I'm just waiting for the ball. I'll pop a shot, man.

1:22:05

I'll pop a shot, man. Practice every day.

1:22:11

After a game, you fly back to, you get on the plane or you leave the next day?

1:22:17

We would, it depends. If you're on a road trip, say we play in LA, we go to Utah to play a game. We might go to Denver, and if there's a day in between, maybe you stay over in Utah, but usually you fly right after the game.

1:22:29

But having a day off would be fun, no? What do you guys do together?

1:22:32

Yeah.

1:22:33

Let's go to the Chili's! Like the Celtics are playing Golden State on Thursday, and then they're gonna fly to LA. I'm gonna go play golf with some guys, actually. Oh cool. On Friday. Because they have a day off. Oh wow. So like guys will plan ahead, you know, if you kind of know you have a day off. Yeah.

1:22:45

You plan ahead. There's no practice that day?

1:22:47

A day off would, yeah, be no practice. But yes, on a trip, like you might practice.

1:22:54

But are there no sessions in that day off or no?

1:22:56

Sometimes you just need a day off. a little workout Tuesday, what's today? Yeah, they're probably back, because it's all-star break, they're probably back doing a little workout tonight. Practice tomorrow, fly to Golden State, fly to San Francisco, shoot around in the morning, play the game, fly to LA that night. They'll have Friday off, I think practice Saturday,

1:23:17

and then I think they play Sunday against the Clippers. No, Lakers, Lakers, Lakers. Oh, it is? Yeah, I think they already played, yeah, they already played the Lakers. Wow, what a lifestyle.

1:23:26

Amazing, right? Yeah, it was so exciting.

1:23:27

I always fantasize about being in a pro league somewhere.

1:23:30

I mean, you could have been a pro table tennis player, for sure, because you're good at ping pong. He's very good at ping pong. Oh, really? Yeah, you saw Artie Supreme. I'm talking about a team sport. You're not really a team sport guy.

1:23:47

I am, I am.

1:23:48

Pass me the ball, bud.

1:23:49

There it is.

1:23:50

He's open.

1:23:51

You know what? He's open.

1:23:53

He's only telling other people, he's open.

1:23:54

Go around me, he's open.

1:23:56

Go there.

1:23:58

You would be a great coach.

1:24:00

Go around me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Get six points, not three. If it's farther back, they just changed that. If it's farther back, you get it, you get more. Yes.

1:24:28

They have a three-point line.

1:24:29

No, even further back.

1:24:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:24:32

We should see a five-point line. Yeah, there should be a five-point line.

1:24:35

We should start with four.

1:24:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They toyed with it in the WNBA All-star game. Yeah of like the circles. Yeah, there's a circle. There's a spot you could you could shoot Can somebody go on your shoulders? We'll do that movie

1:24:47

Right and they have to wear a trench coat to shoot

1:24:51

Run the little rascals. Yeah, go see a movie or like you go down in your all fours, right? And the Japanese guy like a trampoline

1:25:00

Unfortunately, there's no cat there's a no catapulting rule in basketball. Oh, you got to bring that back. I don't think it ever was.

1:25:07

Love the catapult.

1:25:08

You got to bring that back.

1:25:09

Although you dunked often enough on people where you use them as leverage to put your nuts in their face. This was the thing that Blake was probably the best at. Yeah, he was very good at that. He would dunk on people to embarrass them and use their head. The fourth one, right? The fourth one. And he would use their head for his balls to rest on.

1:25:28

Now that's his balls resting just gently against that man's forehead. And that's just to protect his balls. Because when you're flying through the air, your nuts can be too free.

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1:25:36

He put a forearm up. He definitely kind of boosted me up on that dunk a little.

1:25:38

Was it one of the greatest dunks? grabbing his hair. It was involuntary. I wasn't really not cool. I was trying to find balance. Not the hair, dude. I know you don't, but if I'm you, I have this blown up so big in the entrance of my house that every time somebody walks in, I would just, and they're like, what's up with that? I'm like, it's, whatever.

1:25:56

Do you want a coffee? And ignore it as if it never, This dunk was so fucking unbelievable. I mean, like even his own teammates, the guy that's getting dunked on, they showed love because it was incredible. His balls were on his face. It's fucking amazing. Have you ever apologized to him for that?

1:26:14

I haven't apologized, but we have talked. Timothy Mozgov, really nice guy. 7'2 Russian.

1:26:19

What did he say about it in the aftermath?

1:26:21

We didn't really talk about it. I just was like, it's good to see you. How'd it taste?

1:26:25

I'd say, how'd it taste, bro?

1:26:28

I mean, to you, this is like, when someone breaks someone's fucking ankles and they cross someone really bad and they score a goal, and it's just like, they embarrass them like crazy. It's the exact same shit. Like, it's just- You're a Manchester City fan? No, Arsenal. Arsenal. Like, you know those goals when they're like, well, like what Messi did most of his career

1:26:47

where he ruined someone's, he made them look like they weren't there. Oh, yeah. And just fucking destroyed them and then scored a goal. Or you fake a shot, then the defender has to slide. Would they go, oh, oh, oh, right? Yeah. I feel like you would love an NBA game. It's so action-packed.

1:27:06

Here's the thing. It's just like.

1:27:07

No, my argument is this, and no offense.

1:27:10

Too many black guys for him, yeah.

1:27:11

Way too many black people. Yeah, yeah. No, no offense, but there's too much scoring for me. You like, you like. And this is the analogy I want to use. That's the one I should have brought up. Yeah, it was Kendrick, right?

1:27:25

Yeah.

1:27:26

Here's my analogy. That's Kendrick Lamar he's dunking on. That's amazing. Yeah, they are not like us. That's where it came up with him.

1:27:32

Yeah.

1:27:33

Can I finish my thing?

1:27:35

Too much scoring. If you were having sex and you nutted a little bit the whole time, you had little mini nuts. Like ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, right? That's basketball.

1:27:50

That's a woman.

1:27:51

Yeah, yeah, but okay. But in soccer, sometimes they score in the last five minutes and when they do score, it's a far more bigger.

1:28:00

What happens when they score in the first five minutes

1:28:03

and they don't score again for the rest of the game? That's what he does every time.

1:28:06

That's like a mini nut that's just like, you didn't even.

1:28:10

Sometimes I have sex, I do a big nut up front and no nut at the end.

1:28:13

Oh, you keep going.

1:28:14

But I still keep going.

1:28:15

Ooh, baby.

1:28:16

Yeah, I still keep going, dude. Oh, he's asleep. But that thing is rocked up. It's just too much scoring for me.

1:28:25

Right. I'm going to take you to a game. We'll get really good seats and I think you'll love it. I promise you'll love it. If I'm not up front, I don't want to go. You want to be on the floor?

1:28:33

I got to be sitting there with Nicholson and all those guys.

1:28:35

Well, he doesn't want to be anywhere near us. Nick Olson? And Borak Obama. Yeah. To rock Obama. Yeah, Borak. Wow. Shouldn't you be killing a dinosaur to Barack? Well, this has been a phenomenal episode. You've been great.

1:28:51

I will say, Blake.

1:28:52

Dude, you're so funny to me.

1:28:53

One of our favorite people to ever walk in.

1:28:56

And your connection. And a great guy. Your connection with standup is, I'm gonna dig very deep with you because you've been kind of a part of our world as a, you're an honorary.

1:29:06

I'm a huge standup fan.

1:29:08

Yeah, but you're an honorary because you've been in our world, you've done standup, you've done roast, you've done, so we love you and we appreciate it.

1:29:15

You still do standup?

1:29:16

No, I mean, I like still write some stuff from time to time.

1:29:20

Yeah, yeah. He should. You should do it. I just, I don't know. Okay. It's hard, man. It is hard. You already mastered one career. It'd be embarrassing if he did ours as well. It would hurt my feelings.

1:29:30

Yeah, because he could do it though.

1:29:32

No, trust me, I'm very aware. I know.

1:29:35

It's annoying. It's annoying. I really needed this. And that's full circle. Thank you for being a bad friend.

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