THE CANCELLED PODCAST IS BACK. WE ARE SO BACK?

Hello and welcome back to the Canceled Podcast.

Kidding!

Why did it hurt though?

It's actually funny the quality comparison. This is all Kyle, okay? But like a while ago we filmed...

A while ago.

Yeah, it was my camera set up on like this.

Yes, which is how we like to do things. You know what I mean? But we made like buffalo chicken wraps. Ironically, it was in the laps of Canceled have cancelled and one of the many breaks that we took, we were like we need to put out a cooking video. What did you title it? Closest Thing to a New Podcast Episode and what's funny about it is we're wearing like I Heart Cheating shirt because I had just gotten cheated on but we were actively not telling the

Clinton Cain story like that had just happened and we were like, oh yeah, got cheated on! And then we were like we'll wear this I Heart Manipulation shirt and hope that someone like Easter eggs that Clinton's faking an Australian accent and a mother unfortunately nobody picked up Yes, no it took a bathrobe and it took a 10-part series for sure But we decided that we wanted to do something like that again obviously as you all know the cancelled podcast may she rest This is where the girlies this is for us. We miss you so much. We do we really do I like went to flop cast today, which is where Paige and Molly have their new podcast,

but it's our old set.

And like, I was-

But it's like, honestly, it's an upgraded version of our set, which kind of pissed me off.

Yes.

I mean, I shit myself in the boucle chair,

like Paige is already upgraded.

Yeah, and Paige is sitting in it.

It's all poetic, really, but I was sitting there topics with them and stuff. And I just like, I have so many emotions. I feel like it's been four months since we uploaded the last Canceling Podcast.

It feels like longer than that though.

It feels like it's been years.

Yeah, at least like six months.

I know, and four months is like, we're already coming back needing to do something together. It's like, damn, just start a podcast. Four months is enough time though, obviously. we had kind of made up our mind on a lot of emotions. Just like, correct me if I'm wrong, but do you feel like you've done a lot of like reflecting and have a lot of like thoughts on just like things?

And everyone around me, we're all just like realizing things,

podcasting and the things that we did and like.

Definitely, I feel like at the time that we ended,

I was already kind of like, ugh't regret it, but when I come across a clip now I'm like No, it breaks my heart, but at the same time, you know what's funny? And I'm gonna bleep what I'm saying, okay? I'm gonna bleep what I'm about to say to you

Give it to him

No, you watch your face, ready? Check this one out Today I'm scrolling Okay, yeah And I see clips of old canceled now I'm like oh my god I saw the clip that's literally what I was referencing when I just said that cuz I saw I'm like because in the moment you

think it's a joke but I mean always you know as with everything things don't age like perfectly obviously I get that but I'm just a lot of it it's like oh my god the more I get out of it the more I I'm like, how unhinged. You don't have a call with the ********* tonight where I have to like apologize for like what I said on camera.

You owe a huge apology. That is something like I'm not confused by at all.

Like you totally owe an apology.

Okay.

And just, I hope, I want to go on record and say I had nothing to do with that conversation.

No, I'm leaving. Oh. But like, I don't think I do owe a huge apology. Yeah, I don't know.

I think, yeah.

But still, like I'm just saying the reparations from canceled would be like.

What led up to that? Are you gonna have to do something where like you have to be on good terms with that?

Okay. And so I had to be on the sentiment, but I do hate that people found out It was the person because of the way that I said the thing. I mean, I think you gave like like details down Yeah, no 100% and that's what I'm saying And it's just like the damage that would like I will forever be undoing But that's like one of a million things that I want to talk about today

The internet is forever and I forget that sometimes I'm running into the same issue with this horrible statement I once made about Chris- or uh Kid Rock.

I thought you were gonna say cancer and you were gonna-

I was gonna say Chris Brown or something like Chris- Chris Rock. None- none of which. I said Kid Rock was hot at this show-

Chris Brown, Chris Rock, Kid Rock. Like what a lineup.

I don't know I'm having like- I'm a little slow. Obviously I said Kid Rock was like hot one time as a joke like to piss off my ex. I said that a couple years ago and to this day like everything happened with like Turning Point USA. Do not support at all by the way. Yeah. And I'm having to explain to people like no I really never thought he was hot like

it was a joke. That's what I mean though like just so much of that but then also like yeah I'm seeing new people do new podcasts. I'm reflecting on like old memories. I feel like the like pressure of what's next and there's just like so much to unpack. What's next girl? We have to unpack it all today.

Oh, okay.

Should we explain what we're going to be doing here?

So we thought we would, oh yeah, I just like started that whole tangent and like, fuck we're rusty. We're going to bake some cookies while we like talk about things as paying homage to our Clinton Cain I heart manipulation buffalo chicken wrap video. many viewfinders everywhere and you know two bitches like us are just getting caught. I'm just trying to check out the back of the phone.

I look like Big Mac B. Big Mac B.

I can't be myself until I have a lip on. Sorry everybody. You're fine, I'm low-key farting. Don't fart in my kitchen. Where should I fart? I'll hold it, I'll hold it, I'll hold it. Don't hold it either, it's not good for you. Don't fart, but don't hold it, Brooke. I'm not saying you could exit the kitchen,

you just don't fart in the kitchen, that's the rule.

It's so funny, because her and I will hit our little bickers now, and it's so romanticized to me. We don't have to come to a conclusion on anything, as well. It's not cute. See what I mean? And I loved it. We were laughing thinking like, imagine just after all that hubbub, we just like start a cooking show.

I mean, it could be less or maybe more pressure. I've been like addicted to drugs.

No, the post canceled need for like beta blockers and propanolol and gabapentin and just to like,

well, for me, it's just weird, but I've loved it so much that I completely understand people who do crack Cuz I'm like if this can do what it's doing

Imagine what crack could do. No, I was talking about that today like when I used to smoke ten backwoods a day It's like at that point just try it. You're smoking ten backwoods a day Yeah, but you're liking weed. I'm living for it. Every single night with my dinner, I have like a thing where you can pour it in a cap. It's like liquid. You pour two little capfuls, pour it into our drink, and then after dinner, we have our little edible. So every night we have our routine, and then I dream of just the craziest things of all time. We should get high soon, but not for your cameras because you go mute, right? I go completely mute.

Yeah, that's like a good of fun in here. Yeah, and that's important But maybe that has something to do with me not like being able to speak anymore. I'm really struggling with that Yeah, I have like a stutter a little I think I have a manjaro stutter really yeah, so yeah, we're baking some cookies I actually don't think we're baking them. I thought I already literally like purposefully not swearing cuz I'm like we need this ad sense like you better act right it appears We have oh, they're cute cookies. Okay, should we get like a plate a sheet or something a cookie sheet? We have to the problem is is I really don't know where cookie sheets are. That's okay. That's fine I don't know where mine are either. I'm no better in the kitchen. I know I'm always acting like you're a chef But I know I think just like because I'm pretentious kind of you would think I'd be good in the kitchen

Like how many fucking drawers of fucking cooking accoutrement? I have a thing with things like this where I can't it doesn't feel the same as a podcast to me It really feels unnatural and I feel scared. Should we go sit on the great couch? Like seriously like anytime J-Rod was here or something. I always got like really shy That's why like any of the tour videos. I'm just the worst in my head. I'm looking at this as like a podcast Yeah, where we make cookies. Yes a

Cookie podcast

So what are we gonna do? Are we gonna have like a theme? Should we make our theme like... Canceled. I'm gonna do a canceled cookie. How do you feel now when you see something or you go through something that you would like naturally want to podcast about but you don't have the platform any longer to podcast about it?

You know my thing that I do now? This is an agreement me and Greg had to come to. I will make a TikTok about it. I'll probably make four versions of the same TikTok. It's usually a rant and I have to sleep on it before I'm allowed to post it.

That's so funny, me too. Really? Yes, my bit is like, I'll have a take and I'll draft it.

And then I'll wait.

If tomorrow you feel the same way.

Yes.

Because a lot of times like sometimes I would say things and then either I wish I didn't say it or I wish I said it differently. Nine times out of 10 now I just don't post it.

Yeah, that's so interesting. I've been doing the same thing. That was how halter top gate came about because I decided 24 hours later that I still felt a type of way.

I love when you get excited about things.

One cool thing that I love though is because I do think that what to call it But like when something is happening on the internet that we both feel a type of way about we still have to exhaust I'm literally just discussing friendship by the way

But I will say what I learned from halter top gate though it reinforced everything I already believed to be true Which is I've never had the right opinion ever and on canceled we saw that time and time and time again where I?

Disagreed with whatever the popular take was and I was wrong. So... Not always, I wouldn't generalize it.

I wouldn't say like 75% of the time.

Not always, but like I think a lot of times it just like came off the wrong way. In this particular scenario, I was like, oh, I'm not with the, not that I wasn't with the masses, but I was literally like, it's a halter top.

Like get the f*** out.

So that's true. where it's like death threats over things like that. I think that I'm having this problem lately where I feel so me-ma old and I feel so inclined to like shake all these like young girl TikTok influencers that I care about into like not making mistakes that I made.

But then like no one could tell me.

Nobody ever really properly listens. Like you don't hear something until you wanna hear it. 100%. Just like we didn't. I'm sure a lot of people told us not to do what we were doing and now we're looking back thinking we shouldn't have fucking done that

It's so true What is the thing that you're happiest about now that cancelled is over? And I want to ask what the thing you miss the most is

My thing that i'm happiest about is I think like what I wanted to happen or like what I expected to be true When cancelled was over it is exactly what is true. Like I do not feel the way that I felt. I'm never anxious the way that I was. I don't like feel sick to my stomach every time I open my phone. Like it really did settle that for me. And so like, that's good.

I was worried that we would end it and then I would still feel that. And it would be like, damn, where's all that money going?

Of course I miss the most is when all the bullshit was subsiding. Whether that was comments, whether that was you and I not agreeing, whether it was just whatever it was. And we were just sitting there, two girls and two microphones, and it felt like it was just us connecting and having that conversation and talking our shit. And then it was all the other things that I don't miss.

You know what I mean? Like the comments and the stress. It was a lot of pressure like beyond us just sitting on the couch and yapping. Yeah like that's I miss the where like the purity and like where it started of just the sitting on the couch and yapping but I also think even like now I realize and sometimes I actually do like miss this about myself and obviously you know this that like for years I had no anxiety. Anxiety! It was amazing, it was seriously a superpower. I feel like I don't feel that way about you anymore. I definitely see more in the way that you used to behave. Like I don't mean this to be condescending at all. No, no, you're beyond fine. There's no fucking way this girl has anxiety.

Because you could not having, like those about things before you say them, which is like understanding the repercussions of your actions Which is like whatever but obviously there are moments where I'm just freaking the fuck out and like more anxious now and overthinking Things and like where I do miss the girl who didn't give us

I'm literally like purposefully not swearing. Well, she was also awful

You know what they say, and by they I say this, the people who are the most successful in this particular field are people who are sociopaths, such as Logan Paul.

Oh damn.

Well, right? I think people can compartmentalize their perception as a whole.

Sorry, keep going. I was gonna go on and rant about Utah though. She's amazing.

I know. as a whole. Sorry keep going. I was gonna go on a rant about Utah though. She's amazing. I watched the Winter Olympics yesterday. I'm like holy shit this girl's insane. She's incredible, truly. And that ass. Who would have thought I'd be so healed that I'm like Jake Paul's fiancee's wife's ass is so great. Well I mean she's an Olympics like. Well yeah you just have to be Helen Keller. You'd have to be Helen Keller to like it It's so funny though like me and Myles just got his suit for the wedding the one that he had before was so tight

He was like I look like you

Suits that's do you want to share anything about your wedding like okay wait before we keep going I want to give the sponsor of today's video seat geek a huge shout out And I'm quite literally in New Orleans right now You guys know I'm always traveling and going to events So I'm also always looking for the best deal on concert tickets like who's in New Orleans tonight? Hopefully Lo Wain, it's his hometown. And with over 35 million downloads SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app and there are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek including concerts, sports, festivals and more.

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please! Click the link in the description below to have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later thank you see geek for sponsoring today's video I love you so much make sure to go grab your tickets on see geek and get the best deal that's that's what's so cool to me too I guess all of that strife was not for nothing all of the things that we like put ourselves through and like embarrassed ourselves and then I had to stop while I was ahead because any further and nobody was ever gonna marry me

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying that like all wasn't for nothing. You know what I mean? Um, yeah, I'm getting married a month from yesterday I got my dress though, and I did search high and low for it And the only size they had was like two sizes too small for me So nothing's gonna happen to a. Look at the knobs on my forehead.

You guys see these?

She's been on about these imaginary knobs. It's, well actually they're not imaginary.

They're not imaginary, like let's be real.

They're not imaginary.

But like look at me right now. You're not knobbed up to me. Like it's, I understand. I know well it got squiggly that's how I ended up with this squiggly themed cookie because

I was gonna write cancelled but it went waaah.

I'm trying to write our favorite word.

Joy?

Oh jorts.

I love joy.

Imagine I'm just writing joy. Like we at what point it's 2026 that fight I think happened what 2023 or 2024? I know that is so true. We have to get past it. Of course, but I like not about the doors. We always thought that. Yeah, it was a moment in time. It was a really fun. I had to write jort by the way. But I need to trace it or will you trace it? No. Okay.

I always forget you're left handed. God, you're a genius. I feel like it was as a pick me like being left-handed was like one of my dreams This was the same Brooke who wanted to like break eight bones and that's super normal by the way I'm wondering Kyle if you've ever had this experience I It's true. It's how I see but like people talk about it all the time on tik-tok It was like a universal thing for everybody except for you. I think Like I used to like crave like a broken arm or like I wanted like to get hurt or get like super sick for attention It was like it's a real thing that happens to kids. I'm not to get crutches over like a sprained ankle

100% you would not believe what I did with this knee when it was never hurt at all Just like I want it. I don't know. I maybe I just wanted to I mean, yes, I wanted exactly what it was I just remember like girls coming in school with a cast on and I'm like, that bitch. I will say I kind of remember that you wanted people to sign your cast. No, I didn't want anyone to sign my cast. I wanted them to know I had a cast and feel really bad about it. I would venture to say that you're just afraid to admit it. I think I was my child that had the opposite thing on me where I was like I need to be so strong I think I maybe no one was paying attention to me. So I'm like check this one out

I can go to school and I can get some serious. No, it actually makes sense I think it's just been like a fun ongoing joke for us. Yeah. No, I remember well, maybe that's a little far Maybe I won't even say that. Why did I want to say I would have said on canceled. Okay fine. My friend came to school one day. That was a sign.

My friend came to school one day and her sister had gotten shot. I was like, I wish that was me.

Oh my god. That should have been the sign. I'm not cutting that. I like cannot trust you.

She was fine. She got shot in the back. She could still walk. I was in first grade. It's something I for sure had to work through. I'm not liking this. Like should we, I'm trying another approach.

Well.

I like your squiggles.

Did you put your Ora ring back on or no?

I haven't put it back on yet because I've been having such stressful weeks that I don't even want to know the statistics but I'm about to put it back on. I'm gonna add this as an activity. Ooh. you share no but like we can do the same thing we can wake up to the exact same thing all day and he'll have burned like 700 calories and I'll have burned like

35 it's the way you talked on my hand but it's still it's kind of my hair blew out of my face there's no world where you should have that many soup spoon wait no no you know I you know I have problems with it's like a mini spoon no you got to see this these are not just regular spoons. You should have there's not one Normal spoon in here. Well, normally we have a lot of mini ones or knives who picked these out I actually really don't know. I'm totally kidding. I love everybody who lives here

What about Erica though? Oh my god. Okay, well, I don't refer to Erica Kirk as Erica Kirk I refer to her as Erica Kirk because I think it makes me laugh like a lot and then sometimes I hit it like a rooster I go what don't I think about Erica Kirk you know what I mean it's just like what the f**k is wrong with you put the cut crease down put the pantsuit down

no seriously like we had to have a serious talk about it in my household because I said

check it out if I pass away especially shot, which I no longer want, you better be so miserable for the rest of your life.

Miserable?

Pyrotechnics?

Imagine, imagine, imagine Miles or Nicole passes away, knock on wood, obviously, but then the next day, you and I are in pantsuits with pyrotechnics. And just like Nicki Minaj, now I'm like aw in one,

but it's like.

Or we lost another.

Jesus fucking Christ. I'm like on one but it's like another Jesus Christ now what I don't know, but you got some sprinkles on mine So I guess now I have a spring your icing spread is so much better than mine

What else is going on in pop culture that we've missed?

Well, so that's the other thing like I'm wondering if when you and I come together now and again Are we supposed to put our cancelled hats on like are we supposed to just like I like I was never really about that like obviously there's some element of like we shouldn't Have said this but it wasn't like oh, I never want to talk about pop culture again. I guess that's true I think I swung the pendulum really far in my mind like after canceled. I was like, I'm a nun I need to find the ministry like we don't forget who you were. That's what I'm saying And I think I did I think I was like so wanting to be something different, like getting older that I like. Well, you can grow up, like nobody's, you know.

Yeah, but right now even I'm putting these sprinkles on and I'm like, these look like value. And like, there will always be that part of me inside of me. And I think I finally now have gotten the pendulum back kind of to the middle where it's like,

I don't ever want to be canceled, Tana, again. nun in the ministry you know I can say like I think that Sidney Sweeney should release condoms I can wear a halter top in the kitchen like I can dabble you know the it's the dabble that's nice you never I mean you know people followed you for a reason I'm talking my shit I think they'll stick with you forever but I think like you obviously have to give them something yeah yeah and I just don't want to like fully lose sight of who I am and like who I am off-camera, you know, like I got a lot of opinions. We got some opinion. Yeah, so Micaela Nagara

Announced her it's not fun. I don't know why I laugh I think what people are like taking away from the divorce video is where she's like sit down take it in That's what I'm gathering 100. Yeah, but I the moment where it's like, it's not my divorce Yeah but at the same time people come so like if it were the opposite and she were like This is none of anyone's business. Like I don't want to talk about this. It's personal everyone would be like well You shared your whole relationship online. Like who do you think you are keeping it private now?

Like it's always the opposite of whatever's going on

Yeah set herself up in a position where she just like absolutely cannot win. Like no matter what, which I can also understand like sucks, you know, but it's like, how are you so out of touch to think that like people with like bills to pay, like need to sit down for like your divorce.

I know.

Like, and you're gonna want to sit down for this video. I am getting a divorce.

Why don't these types of people, if they just can't say things right, like get a team and listen to them. Like they have the greater goal. Or does she want more people talking about it? And then it's like the same thing as a halter top where like I'm unsure if like all of these people are just rage baiting, you know?

Yeah, I guess it's, it's hard to know. I think she's probably think like this is gonna break the internet and like like people I mean a million people are making videos about as much as people want to say like we don't care like you are making videos about it like you do care I know but I just think like nobody should ever have to sit down and be like I'm getting a divorce like it's like just get a divorce what else is happening in the pop culture world oh I did something funny to you that I didn't want to tell you about but I'm gonna tell you. Okay, I Fear I'm gonna hate it

You might you might think this is like a bully move, but it was really a test. I Know a long time ago like we told this story on canceled about life jacket gate You remember that of course where basically spark notes is on Tana's birthday trip I posted like a cute photo of like all of us swimming in the ocean and in the back Tana's like ripping it on a Jet ski and I looked a hunchback Notre Dame, but I did it looks like I mean as pictured she was in a lifejacket So there's no way to like look flattering in life jacket, whatever

But like I knew she wasn't gonna like the photo So I just like cinched it in a little bit made her look a little skinnier in this life jacket and then I posted it and like it was one of our biggest fights such a scandal. I can 100% look back and be like I did not have to be that drama about it. I was just kind of like you're in a life jacket like you know.

Yeah and I was so lost in this idea of like maintaining a beauty standard that nobody believed and hammered like that doesn't help either.

I mean also like don't post pictures of your friends that they don't like, but it just was like, you know, it was 20 of us, I was like, whatever. Anyway. I could have been lighter about it. Today, the other day I was doing a funny, because you know, I do weed now. I was editing pictures of people and then sending them to them.

Okay.

To see like, if they even noticed. Like if you do it to guys, they never notice. But I took this photo of Tana that I knew that she didn't have because like someone sent it to me from like a link.

Like I knew she didn't have it but we were both in it together.

Do you know what I'm gonna say?

I kept it exactly the same like she looks stunning but I like I extended her forehead

by like three inches.

Brooke that's so funny. So funny, but that shows to my dysmorphia because I just looked at it I was like I knew my head was big like you really just made me feel like shit That was your fucking funny. That's when it wasn't funny anymore was when you didn't react to it like no And I swear to God I just looked at it I was like I'll refine it, but I did it just enough like where it was like can I see it now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

This sounds like but in my head I was like oh that's like really shows growth because it's not like you looked at it because you replied to me you're like oh that's cute like where'd you get that so I was like oh she loves

it and then I got mad because then I was like I don't want her to post it no but in my head I was just gonna refine my forehead back down to where I felt like it accurately looks like I'm not even actually joking you like that's really how I think I look It's not what you look like I think you the first one and you didn't um say anything about it So then the next one I did it a little bit more I sent you to like two different versions of the same photo. I see I contacted her mom by the way George McGee

Yes, and then she's like I think it's higher Wait that one and then this

one as well. That is so funny. I really just was like, Oh, I'm big head on the beat. I'll refine it. I have grown. No, I was like, Oh, I love it. I don't know. I was never going to actually let you post it. But I wanted to like, it's just like so funny if you do it then. I need to do this to Makoa. I guess it's really not that funny of a prank now that I say it out loud. Like maybe I'm just a bully, but I just thought I was like, as how I was like,

Oh my God, this is going to be, huh?

I think that like two things can be true. You're a hilarious bully.

Did you just lick that?

Is this your mouth? all the tapes. I think I saw you with it too. Depending on something that I have no idea if it's true or not, like Jesus Christ. Oh my God, should we also talk about spreading misinformation?

Still?

Yeah.

Melanoma, Joel Siwa. That was actually probably me, I'm not even gonna lie. For people who don't know, Brooke and I, for like a very long time, have been 100% sure. I mean as sure as like them hitting the second tower, sure. I could have used another example, by the way, and I'd like to immediately apologize for that. Brooke and I have been as sure as possible that JoJo Siwa filmed her cover of the song Traitor

by Olivia Rodrigo in my driveway before we all shot the canceled podcast. And I've told hundreds of people in my real life this, like whenever anyone brings up Jojo Siwa whenever anyone brings up the song traitor Olivia Rodrigo even I am like guess what and I don't know where I got that it has to have been like she posted it while she was at her at your house or something but she didn't I went back and I checked no way I was trying cuz I believe you like I remember this so vividly and you and I stumbling across this information and then obviously I post to TikTok about it, Joelle calls me. Brooke, and when I tell you,

we shot our podcast on September 20, like first. She filmed the Traitor cover in June.

That's my bad.

I think it's really funny because one of our things in ending canceled was also like we don't want to spread misinformation anymore.

I don't know if I ever had a problem with that. The people had a problem with that the people had a problem with cut to her having a problem Okay, I should rephrase I didn't think like everyone else thought it was a no, maybe that's what I meant Yeah, I don't have a problem with that. I had a problem with doing it I didn't think it was a bad thing that I was doing it because I don't feel like I ever spread misinformation

That was like harmful to anybody for example I agree, for me the reason I wanted to stop spreading misinformation is because I wanted to stop looking so f**king stupid.

Oh.

Yeah, I didn't like that either I guess, but I was gonna look stupid regardless. Just posted a video the other day, I have been having a little bit of a skin cancer scare. And I don't have skin cancer, thank goodness, but I had to have a couple of my little-

First grade you would have lived though.

No, I would have been flashing my little chunk to everybody. Which I did by the way, I actually sent you a picture of it. Anyway, I had a little... Insert her chunk here. Scary. I'd have a couple little things cut out and so I posted a video being like, hey guys, just a reminder, get your skin checked because I got a couple like regular little freckles that ended up being like problematic. I post this and I'm like, and melanoma is the most deadly form of cancer, which it is the most deadly form of skin cancer. I should have mentioned that it is the most deadly form of skin cancer But you know who cares? Well, you also were just doing a good thing. Yeah, like the response to it wasn't like Oh, thanks for the reminder Like this is so like I thought I was doing like this nice thing and all the comments were like just reminding the girlies

Like yeah, and everyone's going it's actually not the most deadly form of cancer. They're going, here you go spreading misinformation again. Like this is very harmful. I'm like, harmful to who? The person who's gonna get scared and go get their skin checked? Like, oh no.

But I just, I think it's really funny that like at least I may spread misinformation until I die. Like it was something that I thought would be over with the podcast and it's just not at all. It kinda looks like a broken heart. It wasn't supposed to but can you tell this is cancelled or no?

Woah!

Canceled.

Wait, you might have a calling.

But then the broken heart just happened by it.

It was like God did it.

It's really poetic if you think about it.

I know.

Anyway, I'm sorry for spreading misinformation about cancer.

I'm also sorry comments going I lived on Melrose it was a busy street like dying on the hill. Well the thing is you just have to I guess I mean if you were sure you were sure but like sometimes I won't say something just because like for fear of even being slightly wrong. I was as sure as I have an O's job sure I was as sure as I have veneers that are gonna fall out sure You know like I was like I'm I was sure in my bones About that and that just goes to show that you know it will continue

Well, she should make a new one that I'm asking her to come over and cover trade her with me in my driveway I feel like we've really gone back and forth talking about Mikaela and I was like, I had a lot of jokes in my head and a lot of like things that I would say, but I'm trying to at least sprinkle, you know, an air of like people are people too and I don't want to be the person with the gavel ever again.

Yeah, well it's scary in a situation where someone's like literally getting divorced which is one of the hardest things you can go through.

It's like, whatever, leave her alone. Yeah, I'm just, I'm wanting to be more grown about the things that I do, but I do, I love this. I love that we get to like come back into it now. Like just when we want.

Tap in when it's important.

But speaking of being more grown with the things that we're gonna do, are you ready to announce your Big Mama Drama podcast that's coming? Yeah. Checking a text. No, I don't, it's like, I don't want to say like big mama drama because like I kind of want it to, I don't know. I have like a thing, kind of like I was saying how I feel weird about these things.

It feels unnatural to me to like, cancel was like the only thing that felt natural to me because it was so, first of all, we started out drunk. That's the truest thing I've ever heard. We're doing a studio in my house, like not anything crazy, but just like something small. Cause I want to have something for when I do start a podcast myself, but it makes me so nervous. Like it's a feeling that I like obviously never had about Cancel, but it's like, I think also

when you've been so successful in something else, it's just obviously nerve wracking to have like something similar, but not as good. I agree with you that there's a lot of pressure in your head about it. Like I feel the same way that there's a lot of pressure in my head about what I do next. And I remind myself all the time that if what I do next

gets 1 10th of the views of canceled, but I'm able to shoot it everywhere and I'm talking about more mundane things, therefore less people are interested, or more niche things there for less food. That is what I want and what I wanted, you know But then you like sit down to do it and it's like you're fighting those thoughts, you know

Like it really has nothing to do with thinking like people won't watch or anything It's just like I'm just nervous like me. I feel like I can't be myself Yeah, especially cuz it's like I never would sit down by myself naturally to like I never do like sit down YouTube videos or anything I feel like it's just gonna take some getting used to but I want to have a format where like it's totally normal for me to be by myself whereas like obviously canceled it was always both of us and yes both of us it was

both of us and somebody else yes I had to so I like have been trying just sitting with Kyle and we set up like a podcast and I'm sitting down and I'm like trying to shoot a podcast episode by myself and like the first few I was literally like I can't do this You know what I mean even down to like I'd hit my vape and there wouldn't be you there to like say something It would just be like awkward silence. I don't know over time I do feel like story time Tana sitting there beside me and like just well I mean you're so like good at that first of all you're good at just sitting down and talking

But it is it is hard because like what I knew for so long was you and me for better or for worse. I'm talking about it like it's a marriage, but like you know what I mean? Having that person to like help you with it, you know? To like bring something to the table

and like when it's just you it's like. Yeah, we always say the same thing.

Oh no, something bad happened to my cookie. going on stage you know like yes the idea of doing like stand-up comedy by yourself versus like a live show with the two of us is just completely different 100 but at the same time like i am also so excited for like you to have a podcast and me to come on it and me to have a

podcast and you to come on it keep your expectations low that's how i feel like i want to have a format like i want to first of all not be guest reliant because I'm just not confident enough Really that I can even like get the guests that I would want right? It just doesn't matter those are my own personal reservations, but when I do have guests I don't want it to be like I never want it to be interview based Yeah, biggest fear is being like the interviewers who shall not be named who like should not be interviewers Yeah Yeah. But like I'm not a journalist and so I don't want that to be the format and I feel like I would like for it to always just be like talking about what I want to talk about with whoever's in front of me.

Because like if you also think about it when Canceled was at its absolute highest, like when it was under Joe Rogan, like our mental health was at its absolute lowest.

Like really, why did he laugh?

That's an insane sentence.

It was! We were number two. Joe Rogan was number one and we were number two. I remember that, I forgot about it.

But it's funny that you two did that.

It's cool.

I know. Well, it was like in the midst of a major... I think it was...

It was like Clinton, Alissa, it was all of it. But I'm saying when excited to like, even if I'm fucking 200th on the chart or 4,000th on the chart, be mentally okay at least, you know what I mean? Yeah, I just also like there were so many moments during Cancelled where I was like, I would do absolutely anything to feel less visible right now. Because like, I was just struggling so much and like just talking about the things that you care about

versus feel a pressure to talk about like even today at Flopcast Paige was like yeah It was a slow pop culture week and it brought me back to all the times with me and you where it was a slow Pop culture week so therefore we because of the warped mindset we were in we were like What can we give from our personal life with no regard of how it's going to affect our mental health to keep this podcast successful?

Yeah, to me, I mean, that wouldn't even be sustainable in today's day and age, because I don't have anybody in my life now that I would ever be willing to exploit in the way that we used to exploit our friends,

our relationships, our like.

But before, at that time, like especially at the start of Canceled, that was kind of like our life. All of our people were bits. Not that they were people first, friends first, but everybody was down to be like...

And we knew a lot of it didn't have permanence.

Yeah.

So it was like...

Well, it did. It's the problem.

Well, no, no, not the content. I mean like the situation. Oh, like the people. mean? Yeah, so it was like whatever like this guy's gonna stop talking to me who cares? Yes, exactly. And now like this guy in question is like our husbands. Yeah, it is like so crazy, too I always talked to Paige about this the mind like, okay I'm gonna say another one, but I'm gonna bleep it but I went on canceled and I said that and then And I said that **** And then **** You didn't say that.

And then they came and they DM'd me and they said, Next time I see you, I'm going to beat the **** out of you.

And then I would too.

Yes.

They would.

And then I walked around and I was like, I have no idea why they want to attack me like that. Well, we said something, everything so, uh, flippantly, That like sometimes it was like you'd walk in a room and you'd be like I think I shouldn't go up to that person

But I can't remember why yes

And I still have that I still have that all the time because it's like I know I said something on canceled that I shouldn't Have about you, and I don't remember what it is like. I just saw a girl today

I actually see her all the time, but like she went on when I tell you a online today it's you are so beautiful how do you get your skin like that I

remember what you said I lost something one literally like I imagined myself sitting at home in my bed and I'm like watching your podcast and you're like talking about like what you and miles did that week and like cuz you also have such like profound thoughts on things you are so smart you know also just a shift I think for both that's where That's where you say thank you. Wait thank you. No I'm just kidding. I was getting ready to give you a compliment but I think like both of us like halfway like long before we actually ended cancelled got to a point where

we like kind of viewed things differently and stuff but we committed kind of to this like

bit. Yeah it was like too late to switch up then. Yes and I remember that, where we were in the green rooms at the live shows or even the last live shows and it's like, wait, I don't want to be talking about sucking dick and c**k at a birthday dinner.

We used to fight too, like especially me, I'd be like, I cannot say that.

And it'd be like a story that was already written and done for 10 shows. Like I've already said it on stage 20 nights in a row, but like this is the night. green room 10 minutes before she walks out, she's like, I cannot say that. And I'm like, well then what are you going to say? Well, hey, you know what?

It's never too late to show remorse.

No, 100%. I know exactly what story you're talking about. And it was such a good story, but it was like airing out the shit out of someone. And it's like-

First and last name as well. Any podcast that I do have is not like it's just not gonna be as entertaining because my life is not It's just different. It's different. My life is just so different My life is so mundane and like in the best way It's like it's made me so much happier and I feel so much better But you know what people who feel good don't have that good of podcasts usually

There's something so beautiful about that sentiment. Like Brooke, you worked through so much mentally to get to a place where you have a, and mundane is not the word, where you have a peaceful lifestyle. We both did. And like, that is what our next podcast will represent.

And even if it is a more niche group of people, like that's a great thing, you know?

I think the people we want to stick around will be here for that I think the people who want us to be like really miserable and have crazy stories like maybe are the people who were writing

bad things and just like that was what the downfall of our mental health and canceled ended up being like I will never forget I was still in Hawaii I'd like just my birthday trip was over and I was coming back like the next day for us to shoot and this was in the middle of like so much drama and you and I got on the phone. Yeah. And it was literally... I literally remember what I was looking at. I was in the car, I was looking out at the freeway. Like, no saying my like, I was in the bathroom.

So I was like really looking at myself like so distraught. And like it was literally just you and me being like, I want to kill myself. No, I want it was like June and we were supposed to stop in November.

And on that call we were like, it has to be two more episodes and done.

Yes.

We're both gonna die.

My arm hair is raising. I will never ever ever like forget that. Like of just being like, no matter how great this has been comfortable like we have to because this is killing us now and we don't want to look at this thing this way and like whatever and Knowing that like now whatever we do next is not going to be that feeling I do

That's what I sorry to cut you off. No go ahead see I didn't used to say that

I used to love to cut you off. Oh man me too though We were ADHD girlies that was just another one of the people trying to tear us apart, but continue I actually forgot what I was gonna say, so you go ahead and keep going. I forgot what I was gonna say. What were we talking about? I'm literally fried, you guys. You know what scares me though, and what I hate, and even like why I want to continue to film sh** like this and make sure we go on each other's podcasts, is that you and I can literally be standing here in f***ing striped heart pajamas making f***ing heart-shaped cookies, and people will still compare what we both do next. Yeah. And like try to cause drama between us just simply because of the way that it once was.

Yeah.

I feel like it's kind of hard because some of the stuff that we said, like the reason that we gave for cancelled ending, I feel like we kind of pulled out a lot of different reasons to try and make people understand. I might have said this before but ever since I've been going on podcasts that aren't cancelled and I'm asked about canceled and stuff I really regret the way that we personally talked about it as though we used to have this podcast It was nothing about like it was nothing but talking shit about people and you know

Smear campaigns and all this stuff because well, of course some of that did happen on cancel That was not what our show was about at all. It was about our lives people got dragged in

Maybe they shouldn't have but like there it was more than just that was more about us than it was about other people and I hate I resent I'm 50-50 on that but we're allowed to disagree because I say this because I went on a podcast recently where someone made me like the way that they were talking to me about it made me like feel gross cuz I'm like either you've never seen it or like you're listening to what I personally like it's fine if we say it but like you say it That's how I feel. Yes because people are spinning it to be this thing of like

It was never supposed to be like to hurt other people like to you know make other people look bad or anything It's like every time someone like I mean at least in my stories anytime like someone really got like a They deserve it I guess yeah It was like something that happened to me or what they did to me. It wasn't like oh, yeah I'm just and fuck these people I like I'm 50-50 on that like I see where you're coming from It was more than that and it's also one of those things where what do you go on other people's podcast? It's like well, I can say it but you can't fucking Hilton style. We were never just like intentionally like hurting people. It wasn't a drama show like we talked about drama on it. We talked about our own dating. We talked about our own lives. We talked about happy things, good things

in the world that were happening. It was just like what we would talk about with our friends.

People got hurt. Inevitable. You know what word I think perfectly encompasses all of it. What? Chaos. Yeah. And for better or for worse chaos. But maybe that also should have been the way that I was speaking. It was just like ready to leave the chaos. Cookies are low-key bomb. I think you should try one.

Really?

Okay.

Which one? And you know what I have to say?

Huh?

Is that I significantly want to eat yours more. But I knew if I took the first bite of one of your cookies, you would have had some shit to say about it. I would not!

See, you kind of are doing to me what I just told you I don't like people to do. Use my past against me.

You are very grump.

I don't like it.

Let me see. Mm-mm.

I'm excited for what's be anything like Cancelled, and please don't compare us, and I love Brooke so much.

But it can be like Cancelled.

Cancelled was amazing for a lot of reasons, it just didn't work. It literally just didn't work.

But like almost like overcompensating for my fear. And it's like, you don't need to overcompensate for your fear. each other like there as long as you're watching both of our shows yeah or just like you're wasting your breath because like this is we went to Chili's the

other day we catch a vibe now it's like we were married but we weren't supposed to be married yeah like that having a business like of that is grandeur a word that's what I would have said with somebody else it's like it is equivalent to having being married or having a kid and like we needed a divorce. And now we can like. In like the nicest best way. Like we lived down the street and now we like to do things together but like we did not need to have a business,

a huge business together where we could not literally make a single decision.

And that's okay. Like that's also the, even I was on Owen Thiel's podcast and he was like, that don't have a cut and dry answer. It depends on the friends. Like we just, we literally see the world

completely differently. The things that are important to one of us are not important to the other and vice versa. And that can't work. And that can't, in my opinion, make for a successful, I mean, we made a very successful business.

For longevity.

Yeah. Like someone will die. Yes, I just think it's cool that like we get to recognize that now and like get to do this and live this life Like I really do like romanticize even just like our FaceTimes Like I get so happy when I hang up because I'm like this is like what I missed in those low moments You know what? I mean? And I know it's so funny you and I would have text conversations where we were literally like at our lowest Okay, trying to figure out how to be friends. Like we were like I want to be friends. Like we were like, I want to be friends, no I want to be friends, like why can't we? I wish we had literal video footage of the night that you came over to

my apartment. Do you remember that? You probably don't because it was like- Well no, I was like ten white claws deep in drugs. Yeah, but it was because, I forget what had happened like right before, I mean I think I was getting cancelled, but she came over to my apartment at each other like what do we do? Like how did we get here? Yeah. And just sobbing our eyes out like what did this friendship become because it's like it makes things so hard and when they don't have to be hard. It just sucked because we lost all like versions of like we never wanted to have fun together, we never wanted to hang out, we never wanted to do anything because we associated each

other with this thing that was making us so stressed. And that's something I did a lot, is point at you for things that were out of your control. So when I was getting a ton of hate, or canceled itself, was bringing me all these horrible emotions. I had nowhere to look but at you, which doesn't make any sense.

I don't know how to explain it.

I think that's actually a very profound way of putting it.

Because you feel like there isn't really anyone to blame, like maybe I could blame myself in that scenario, but it's just like the actual act, or the fact that it existed was just

like, oh my god, I hate this.

I'm so happy, like I wish you could tell those girls that they'd get here.

There was also for sure, we ended it on such a good note, but there were times when we were getting along so badly that we thought maybe it would end and we would never speak

again. But there also were so many other factors. Like you know what I was thinking about the other day? Like now obviously I've just changed my team around a lot. I finally feel like I'm at this place where I have a manager and stuff, but like I manage myself. Like in the regard of like what I want to do, I'm going to do it.

If I don't want to do it but like just I don't know just in a very happy healthy place and there were so many times too where you and I would go in for meetings and we'd sit down and be like please we can't tour again we need a break like our mental health is in the gutter we were getting like Mary-Kate and Ashley or something and they were like I'm really sorry your mental health is in the gutter here's a 50 show tour. But then they would promise like millions of dollars and then we'd be like, okay fine,

we'll do it for millions of dollars. And then we'd get there and find out

we weren't making any money.

Yes, we've never talked about the fact that the international tour ended up being almost net like negative.

And we were doing huge shows like with theaters,

but you know, it's like you would think at some point someone would be like, Hey, just so you know, you're losing money. No, we were told that we were told the number of an amount of money that we would make doing the international tour. And then it wasn't until we were in Berlin, Germany that I found out that that was like a lie.

But I loved it because when we did find out it was immediately us against each other. It was like, oh my God, how did they let us get into this position? Not like that it was any one person's fault, but it was just kind of like, how did this go so unnoticed?

And then obviously there were other people involved that also didn't know and then learned that lesson as well. But we were the ones on the front lines. Just like huge crowds, and we're like, how did this possibly happen was negotiated so badly that we like made no money and then like that was also at the wits end of our mental health in general. Yeah like it was the only thing that was making it worth it for me like mind you I was it was hard

for me to stay alive at this point and I'm like whatever this is gonna be so worth it I'm gonna be able to support my future family and then I find out like oh actually you could have been at home making money but you just paid for this? I mean, it was worth it to see everybody and meet everybody, it was so exciting. That part, obviously, duh, but it's like, we also probably could've done that in Phoenix.

So then we come home and we're like, Australia's gonna be different, we have a month in between. We don't wanna pay to do this. You can't pay to send yourself, whatever.

They're like, it's gonna be great, of money still made nothing at all. But I will say I learned more lessons. I had a sidekick tell me that I would learn more lessons about my life and what I wanted on that international tour. And I did. I feel like, you know what I mean, like we both learned like I want a tour when I'm mentally happy no matter how much the dollar is. We need to pivot. We need to like, you know what I mean? And it still was very sad that last Australia show we were sobbing because like we had become so accustomed like still like touring together

And doing these things together. I mean that for life is gonna be like I mean I'm gonna mourn that forever It was the most special thing in the entire world it is I watched I opened up Tom Stegura's Netflix special And he walked out on stage, and I'm looking at it, and I'm like I bet I think I've been there before yeah I like it was our Milwaukee show, I think. I think it's in Milwaukee. Best show ever, by the way.

We always say that.

And that was just like one of the craziest days of my life because we FaceTime Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

Who, by the way, is not as normal as we thought.

Shocker.

Mm-mm.

Another thing where it's like we just co-signed this person and now I'm being like, wait.

Exactly, exactly. We were just like, oh, Gypsy's the best, knowing nothing. We FaceTime Gypsy, we get off the phone with her, we walk out to the biggest crowd I've ever seen in my entire life, we have cheese hats on our head, it's completely sold out, and we get off stage, and the venue tells us that of all the shows they've done in there, they had a noise decibel reader, that it was the loudest show they've ever had.

Obsessed. literally like right now because it's like how cool that like it was like and I'm talking huge names it's a huge venue like it was the loudest show they'd ever had and then you and I got on the bus and we ate Taco Bell and we just like looked at each other like holy fuck I can't believe we just did that and it was beautiful and I'm watching this Tom's to grow special looking at that stage and I'm like I will never for sure will tour again I know that I don't know if I'll tour again I don't think that's true I do no Brooke you are so f***ing funny if you don't do stand-up in your

lifetime we are dorks too. I also have different like goals now now I want to have a baby and like I want to I don't know I want to be at home. Touring like as amazing as it was, I just love being stationary. Just for now, because that was just so much for me at once when I was already just off my rock.

This one's really good by the way.

I don't like them.

I like anything. I'm a whole professional shoveler over here.

But it is just so crazy that, and you know I love the word irrecreatable.

I don't know if it is a word.

It's not a word at all.

We had so many things that like memories that will never be, you couldn't recreate it

if you f***ing tried.

You know what I mean? It's so special. But maybe we'll have a Jonas Brothers reunion tour. I always say that, but I don't think touring was like, maybe it was, maybe know. I needed a pause.

I don't know.

It was dark there for a second.

Everything, like the fact that I got sober for the final time on tour, I was like withdrawing on stage with you. I also think that's cool, like as I'm getting older, like I know that that era was the last era of irresponsibility, of having no responsibilities, responsibilities like being a piece of shit and doing whatever I wanted like drinking like I can look yeah I can look back at it and be like from here on out

everything else I ever do will be responsible and I will look back at those times and I think it's cool that we got to like spend that together like our last era of like insanity mm-hmm I think so too what's next I think we're both starting podcasts right yeah oh yeah you know

what you're gonna call it the The Tana Mongeau Show.

I know.

I actually, Dibs on Tana Mongeau Show. I think that's gonna be mine. I think I only have one option. Well, I had two options and now I think I only have one.

There's something enticing to me about my next title being, is antithesis the right word? Being the antith opposite of cancelled?

Like, uh, there's a word.

I don't want to go like opposite of cancelled, but I just mean like, I know that-

Resumed?

Resumed is crazy. Resumed is just mean. Resumed would have to be you and me. Like, resumed would be cruel. You'd have every right to stab me in the f***ing face.

I would for you Like that be diabolical, I don't know we'll see I'm excited Brooke And I are actually doing like an og style like I feel like we're like Ricky Dillon and like Kea and Molly right now YouTube collab this is my first time ever doing a real proper YouTube collab and originally honestly I was just gonna have my vlog going like this and I was just gonna hope I got it caught it out before she did That's like what I used to do I feel like that's honestly like a lot of our vlogs are like mine It's just like my perspective of the exact same thing you did. Um, but today we're gonna do something different on my channel

We are baking a cake and I'm so proud of us like where? We don't have contracts, we don't have splits. We're just doing an OG style YouTube collab and enjoying the separation of our own lives and how it's brought us together. Oh my God, I feel like you never would have done it.

Ooh.

I didn't, I just did a little. That was really cute.

Go check us out on Brooke's channel. Go check us out on Brooke's channel.

Ugh.