The FCC is trying to get Jimmy Kimmel fired (again)

Good news, everyone is safe, no one died, and the shooter is in custody.So what's our next move, Mr. President?A push for more comprehensive universal background checks?That is surprisingly popular across party lines, and midterms are coming up.No, of course not.Then what, sir?

Well, first, we're going to say that this never would have happened in the ballroom that I'm trying to build.

It's drone -proof, it's bulletproof glass, we need the ballroom.That's why Secret Service, that's why the military are demanding it.

But sir, the event is hosted by journalists, and it's independent of the administration.Why would we host it in a ballroom?here.It doesn't matter, Republicans will fall in line.I'll even have Lindsey Graham suggest that taxpayers should pay for it after all.

We're going to introduce legislation that would authorize $400 million to be spent to build the presidential ballroom.

Should we try to reschedule this dinner?Yeah, I didn't even get to snag one of those First Amendment hankies that Jake Tapper has.

The First Amendment.What is it, Mr. President?

Let's go after that again.How?Jimmy Kimmel.He made a joke about Melania.Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.Look, I'm no Kimmel fan, but this was days before the shooting.

I think he was making a joke about the age difference between you and Melania.

And that you're the oldest person ever elected president.

Just kidding.As I was saying, let's call for Kimmel to be taken off the air.Again.Yes, and our comms director can call him a human being.But what if ABC doesn't take him off the air?Disney, their parent company, has a new CEO and he may not flinch like the last one did.

If I may, sir.Ah, yes, Brendan Carr, FCC chairman and fellow boomer.Uh, I'm only 47, sir.Really?

Anyway, historically, these local affiliates have been on our side.

He's right.They're supportive of pro -Trump news.And would probably be happy to take Kimmel off the air, but...They can't because they've signed contracts with ABC to air their programming.Tell them they have to.They were willing to last September when we made the same demand.

Yes, but that's when Nexstar wanted our administration's approval of Tegna, which we gave them.Great.What's the problem?That deal is now caught up in lawsuits, so they need to be on their best behavior to make sure it goes through.And not breach their contracts with ABC.

What do we do?

What I was going to say before all this annoying but important context for the viewer is that we should call for an urgentreview of their TV licenses.

An early review?

Won't it be obvious that we're doing this in retaliation?I'll just say this is part of my ongoing probe into Disney's DEI policies.Brilliant.Let's start there and see what happens.Anything else we should do?Yes.

Let's get Kid Rock at the Pentagon to talk about the Strait of Hormuz.

What?Do it!