THIS GAME P***ED ME OFF | Trees Hate You

Ladies, my name is jacksepticeye and welcome to trees hate you You've probably been seeing this doing the rounds on social media because it's hilarious These trees hate you and they want to kill you and you have no choice, but to go through what's happening This is just a demo though.I thought there was a full game out, but I feel like I've been lied to by everybody Be this loser or design a victim a victim.I'll design a victim.Okay.What kind of haircuts do we have?Oh You could be cloud Hell yeah.

Cloud Strife?Oooo!Kind of like that one.Could be this fuckin' - Oh.Oh, that one's hittin' for sure.Like, all of these are whatever.

They all look - Hey, what's going on, baby?You either look like Elvis Presley or someone out of King of the Hill.You can look like Mr. Garrison from South Park.This one is weird to me, but I really like this.Oh, I don't know why it's giving me like Ed, Edd n Eddy.I'm gonna make you a redhead.

Yeah, that's too red.That's literal red head shape.Oh God.Oh Yes, get a little Steins Gate going on.Yeah, why not?Nose?

I'm gonna give this one a traditional.You can sniff out a tree with that one.Oh no, I like this.Little two front teeth.Okay, I think we got our guy.I think he looks pretty good.

Okay, let's play.Look at him go!Be sure to read every sign you see.You never know when one will say something useful.What does that one say?Tree, tree, tree.

Tree, tree.Tree, tree.Tree, tree, tree.Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree.Do any of you speak that?Do these trees hate me or is it specific trees?

Is it all trees?Okay, there's a checkpoint.Where am I going?I left.Left, the game's over.Oh, I'm back.

Okay, there's a coin up there.I want to get that.Can you smack me in forward?

No.God, I know it said trees hate you, but I didn't realize they'd kill me.There's a big difference between hate and murder.

What are you gonna do?

You shot me!Fucking hell!

Wait that, why is it jumpscaring me?This is such a 2014 YouTube game.How do I get around that?Maybe just like...Oh yeah, maximum distance.Crap, I fell off.

He's gonna shoot me again.You can just bait it out.Watch this.Yup.Dumbass.

It's happening again.It's happening again.

Go this way.Go this way.Oh my god.I don't - He's looking at me.He's looking at me. I don't trust any trees anymore.I'm gonna be paranoid walking outside from now on.

Jesus Christ.Jesus Christ.

Something's gonna - something's gonna sprout and kill me here.I know.It's like, have you ever played those old - those old, like, unfair Mario games on YouTube?No.

Yes.

Get away from me!I'm gonna put y 'all on game real quick.Uh, Unfair Mario back in the day?Some of you are too young to even remember that.Some of you weren't here in the dark times in the long, long ago.Okay, what's this gonna do then?

Ooh, checkpoint.Okay.It's a game of memory more so than skill.Ah!Ah!Ah -ha!

All of - I was just gonna say all of these trees want to kill me and shoot me and die me.Those have guns in them for some reason.Jesus Christ.

It shot me before!

Okay, bait it out.Bait it out.Bait it out.Okay, now I have to beat out the diagonal one.And that one.

Oh, I have threes now!What y 'all got?What y 'all got?Oh, shit.You ain't got shit!Oh, I'm gonna get killed.

Easy!Faster, faster, okay!Easy, easy.Is it gonna do it again?No.Checkpoint, please.

Checkpoint, please!Checkpoint, please!Ah!God, I have to do so much every time.Fuck!Those old tricks don't work on me!

Almost forgot.Yeah.Are you gonna do it again?Checkpoint.At some point, one of these checkpoints is gonna be a tree and it's gonna kill me. I guarantee it.Stairs feel obvious, but then is it - are the stairs so obvious?

It's like, I want to go down the stairs because nothing can kill me on the stairs.Trees can't grow on stairs, but then they're like...Yeah, go down the path down here.That's safer, but then they're double bluffing.It's so obvious that I should take the stairs.This game's a fucking psy -op.

I'm gonna die up here anyway.

I don't trust anything.I got shot in the prime of my life.Are they all gonna shoot?What does it matter?What you lived for?What you fought for?

Legacy means nothing when you're dead.

You can dodge a wrench, but can you dodge a tree?Oh, I'm so fucked.

There's so many of them.How do I -

- Trigger zone.Truly.Okay, that's fine.Can I shoot me here?They've thought of everything.Gonna turn into a fucking golden retriever.

Dodged.Get dodged on.And then, closer than I thought.Okay, I got it now.I see the pattern.I see the code of the matrix.

I see these green lines in front of me, and they all look like trees.Leaves.This is payback from playing Leaf It Alone.The trees are fighting back for me stealing all their children.Yes.Oh.

Ah!

My reflexes!You're not fast enough, bro!Some survival instincts for fuck's sake!

Okay, it's okay though.I - I - Now I see this one.This one's easy now.Where am I gonna get killed from next?You'll never know.Is it left?

Is it down?Is it up?I'm gonna go left.I'm gonna die.No, I'm going this way.Follow the tree.

Yep.Yeah!Yuh -huh!

Stick - AHH!It's your box!

I'm gonna go cross -eyed playing this.Outside looking at trees like, where are they?Okay, easy.Easy!If I go down, I'm dead.That's for sure death down there.

And then check this shit out.Don't - don't do it again.

Okay, so - oh, right.Lock it in!Lock it in!It's ready to go now.It's fun.

It's easy.Trees are stupid!Sure, they give us oxygen and they're the only reason we're alive on this planet, but I can make oxygen in a shed.Fucking speedrunning this now.It's not even scary anymore.Honestly, it's just kind of stupid and pathetic.

Why didn't he move?Actually go down - go outside and burn down a forest after this.I won't, don't do that.That would be incredibly stupid of you.Hohohohoho, I'm locked in.Bro is locked in.

My goat is not washed, in fact, he is cookin'.Yeah, trigger your dumb ass.Too normal.Too normal.

Too normal.Too nor - Keep moving.They can't hear me!Ditches!I'm so far back!You suck!

You're deciduous!None of this seasonal depression shit, like, oh, my leaves fell off, please feel bad for me.Don't feel bad for your stupid ass!You should feel bad for me!Killin' me over and over again like this.It's just not crashing out over a tree about games a game about trees They're in my head or seeds in my brain.

Why is this checkpoint so far away?What happens if I just go this way you're gonna shoot me again Aren't you free about games can't believe you made me say that can't believe what this game is doing to me This is beyond ridiculous who even plays video games anyway babies.They're for children never get past this section Oh at least I still have the coin I don't have the one from the start of the game, but if you think I'm coin hunting in this, you could just eat your own fist.Things that I've done it so often that now I'm starting to lose the pattern.Oh no.Oh, it's Steins Gate.

You can do it.I forget what your character's name is.The worst part is the section that I'm fail - that I failed on last time, the furthest part, consistently now.

Like I - okay.

Okay, that was fucking sick though.Oh, I already forgot.I'm thinking ahead instead of thinking at all.Stay in the moment, stay present, stay focused on the here and now, brother!Okay, that's a good way of baiting that out instead of the other way I was doing it.That's a flawless technique now.

Speedrunners for years are gonna be talking about that technique.

Bait, and then I masturbate!You're never gonna get a knife if you have your hand down your pants all the time!Go out and touch grass instead of touching your schlong!Tree, tree, tree, gone!

Now here we go!Here's where it gets tricky.Follow if you can.Keep going!Keep motherfuckin' going!It's the tippy -tippy of the tree that hates me ever so.

If I just keep moving...Assamo!

Go up here!Bullet!Dodge!Kneel from the matrix!Let's go!Easy!

Easy!

Easy, chat!Alright.Here's where it gets tricky now.Follow if you can.Keep going.The end of the game better be after this.

Cause my patience is paper thin.That's right, it's a tree reference.Cause I'm gonna turn you motherfuckers into paper after this.And I'm gonna write a strongly worded letter to your roots.Think about where you came from, your roots.Hit him with one of these.

Hit him with one of these.

Yeah, and then trigger that one.Checkpoint.Why is there no checkpoint?Oh, you motherfucker.

Nah, nah, nah.What?There's a checkpoint in here, right?Loser.That's just fucking mean.Don't block me.

Don't block me.Don't block me, bro.I can see you.I see you.Squashed, killed, downed in his prime.This is the worst timeline.

Okay, that didn't kill me, it just made me all floppy.Okay, I'm all floppy.Okay, I'm all floppy.

I go backwards and I stop.

This sucks.

That's so - why was that a gimme?It's over here.Why was that so free?

Okay, don't question it.Don't - fuck your sign.

Yep.Yep.Shoulda known, bro.

Okay, now go opposite again.What's over here?Bunch of bullshit.Go this way.Over.Down.

Around.I've - I'm picking it up now.What is this?Insert coin.Coin.You insert the coin.

Okay.Fuck.What happens if I play again?I wanna play again.Oh, you don't have a coin.Fuck!

That was there.Okay.That was there and this is now.

The roots are growing towards me.They're gonna kill me.Oh, fuck!

There's no way that trees drive cars, is there?4 isn't gonna get hit by a car anyway.Driven by a tree.Oh my god a biblical angel is a tree.Holy shit.If this didn't happen all the other times I died.

Maybe it didn't I just didn't see it.

Wow.Aspen.Pine.Birch.Fir.Well, that's just unfair.

End of chapter one.

Wow.If you enjoyed it or enjoyed hating it, I hope you'll try the full game when it's finished.Spec more levels, stranger surprises, worse trees, and many X's.If you add the game to your wishlist, I can let you know when it releases.Hell yeah, I will.You should too!

Wishlists are free, and it helps out the developer quite a bit.This really feels like I'm back in the day.I'm back doing YouTube.When I was like 26, and it just it's it's fun.It's so Easy like you just get in you play a game you have fun.You scream your head off, and that's it That's a YouTube video, baby.

Oh, I enjoyed that thoroughly.Thank you guys for watching Please let me know some other games that I may have missed that you guys would like to see me play I would love to play them Maybe no more like this because they do piss me off and if I play too many of them Then I will get annoyed and then don't want to play anything ever again, but I do have a couple of games on my my list that I want to play, but that was fun.Thanks for watching.Watch out for some trees.