The new Pokemon game, I guess I'm just gonna say it, this is the saddest thing that I've ever seen in my life. This has been- it's been so bad, bro. Like, I watched somebody fight a level 34 Magikarp. They evolve at level 20. Why the fuck would there be a level 34 Magikarp to begin with?
It's fucking retarded. Like, what is this? And so you're walking around playing this game. Now there was one thing about the game that was good. Is that they have anti-homeless benches in the new Pokemon game.
Alright guys? So they are a little bit based here. So they have those uh, you know, reasons, etc. for it to stop from happening. Pikachu never evolved will Pikachu is an exception not the rule Okay, you want to have somebody that's not a magic a magic carpets never evolved
You know what you call that somebody that's still streaming classic Wow so anyway Yes, very very fucking clearly The new Pokemon game is just if you can believe this this game didn't come out in 2000 it did not come out in 2015 it did not come out in 2010 it came out Yesterday, that's right And I don't know how this happened and I'm watching these girls play the game and I'm I'm becoming like I'm like
I don't know like I'm becoming sexist I'm like, how is it that these girls and it's all girls playing this game, by the way I didn't see a single guy playing Pokemon. It's just a bunch of girls. Oh, wow. Oh, it's so cool It's one of these. Oh, it's that one. Oh, yeah Wow, and I see this shit
and
I Wow, and I see this shit and I Understand how you end up dating the same loser for five years How you get married to the same loser for 30 years? It's because you're doing it for fun. You're doing it for fun The Digimon game is way better POW world is way better but you're sitting here married to this fucking flop look at this I've seen better things made with chat GPT-1 what is this
I see these girls doing this what is going on and I go and you look at some of the clips let's look at some of the clips for this new game okay I'll just I'll pull this one up look at this look at this this is ridiculous this is outrageous. This should be illegal.
This is... How much money is this? This is stuck in 2010? Yeah, it's not even the good 2010. It's the bad
2010 I
See this and it just makes me so mad They made the whole map a single asset Well, yeah, it's probably that what did they make it in Microsoft paint? And so you look oh, this is a big moment Okay, let's see the big moment here.
Look at this.
Oh my god.
This is... What is going on here? Now I know Powerworld is ba- This is crazy! And so I'm seeing them playing this game... And it just- What happened to the game we loved? Nothing happened. That's the problem.
Nothing happened. It's the same. The same ga- Pokemon Colosseum. If you go back... Okay, let's do something funny, okay?
You wanna see... You wanna see something funny okay you want to see you want to see something funny so we see this right here okay let's compare it to is it is Trump started yet no he hasn't even started okay I've got more time to complain about this Pokemon Coliseum
alright so you go back and you look at this I'm just gonna watch this is a random fucking video essay of Pokemon Colosseum. These games... ...are over 20 years apart. Are you fucking kidding me?
Like, are you fucking kidding this is crazy Like do we have to go to Pokemon? Let's go to Pokemon Stadium. Okay, that's the one before this Okay, let me a minute Okay, I you can say it's it's it's worse right? Okay. All right, definitely Pokemon Stadium is worse But by how much?
By how much though, right? I mean like, This came out like, I was a little kid, whenever this came out. Whenever this came out, I didn't even know what sex was. I was like 16.
Uh, no, I didn't even know even know like I was a little fucking kid
1990s I was like seven fucking years old and
What would I imagine Pokemon to be like I'll show you what I would imagine it to be like I would it would look something
similar to this
This is what I thought it would kind of be like you would have you know you'd be on I mean not fighting these monsters Right where's it were you're having the monsters fight for you? This is not really what it would be but this is what I thought it would look like it would look something like this
and
That would just be like a dragonite or something like that, right? But no Look see this this is what it should have been This how is it that you're getting mogged by a free game? You're getting mugged by a free fucking game. What game is that? And I've been watching, I've been watching Charlie I've been watching a couple other people play the Digimon game
It's not even close and the problem is like the Digimon If it so for however stupid Pokemon is with game design Digimon is with evolutions you can have an evolution of Basically something starts out and it's a box cutter it evolves into um uh let me let's go back i'm going to show you what a digimon evolution is okay all right so we've got your traditional average typical digimon evolution. Okay, so this is gonna be
All right, so stage one this is stage one of the Digimon evolution it's a box cutter, right? This is stage two of the Digimon evolution. It's millennia
Okay blade of Micola after that you want to see what stage three is
It's a rabbit. There you go.
And so you have this happen with this game. It's fucking ridiculous. It's absolutely fucking ridiculous. Well, if I, you know, I'm seri- ah shit, the sword fell off. I never liked that sword anyway. It was never a good sword. Okay, but I've got okay I think yeah, all right. There we go. Let me put this back over here. So shit Okay, give me a minute She never did that when I was fighting her I'll tell you that okay anyway My point is that it's fucking ridiculous. Okay okay absolutely fucking ridiculous Digimon evolutions but at the same time it's a thousand times the game itself is
a thousand times better than a new Pokemon game I'll tell you that so stadium was better arcs but greater graphics yes and so anyway I'm sure the collar I don't have a collar okay actually do I have a collar maybe I do but either way this is what I thought Pokemon was gonna be it's like you fighting with your Pokemon or having your Pokemon fight with you and there's like just different things you've got all your Pokemon with you you're discovering things in the world but then you go back and you look at the actual
game let me go back I'm gonna pull it up and show you guys what this actual game let me go back I'm gonna pull it up and show you guys what this actual game looks like okay so this is the brand new how much money is the new Pokemon game what is it like $600 or something like that $70 70
70 This should be against the law
Really like this against the law read the caption 35 cent really reignited by what shut up Cody you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you don't know what you like you're wrong to anyone to fit in the graphics of Pokemon Z a saying it's because it's switch one the switch one remaster of Monster Hunter stories okay so this is a Monster Hunter game. Okay. This is a remaster
What's he on a Rathalos says when can you do that? It's already better this is 3ds game Wow
Wow and that's something man 3ds ported switch. Yeah, that's for stories only. Oh
Well that makes it better and so anyway, let's see I find a few more of these oh my god, bro like this is I just Man, I just I don't know what the fuck like this and it's girls. It's girls playing this shit
This has to stop Y'all need to stop doing this Stop playing this fucking game
Look just look at it. This is ridiculous Are you fucking kidding me? Shame on you all. No that's not a girl. I don't know if I don't know what it is. I think that's a girl. I recognized her name and so I think it actually is but that's not the point. Okay, and it's a
Batman
Yes, but listen guys, I get it. It's just crazy. It's absolutely crazy is broken beyond repair All right. Let's watch some gameplay. Here we go So I need to get us Oh God What do you why are you in this is I'm can I get sneak attack like that that is this dumbness can you cannot target you can we play the Oh, we're not playing the game. I can't look at him because he's behind a wall.
Bro, they are spamming moves. Oh shit, we're in trouble now. So I need to get us
Satoru Iwata, I apologize if I'm pronouncing his name wrong because he was the goat
Thought that in Pokemon gold and silver that it would be cool if people would be able to go back to the old Pokemon Version and be able to go back to the entire old version of the game right and play that on top of it so what he did is he went back and he recoded the entire game on a Gameboy this is a Gameboy alright I'm not talking about a DS I'm not even talking about a Game Boy Advance. I'm talking about a Game Boy
He reprogrammed the entire fucking thing so he was able to fit Kyoto which was the original zone and Pokemon I believe
in with the entire new game at the same time and
And and this is this is this is where we're at now Kanto kanto kanto not kyoto. Uh, yes, of course, and so I got it wrong. I I can't believe this guys I'm playing I started I was already playing pokemon ze in 2006 on my ps3 Yeah, this is this is on a playstation 3 This is it it's literally the same game on the PlayStation 3. Hey Ganto at all costs. Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's Sonic. Yes, that's Sonic and I don't even know what the fuck to say man And Sonic 2006 my beloved. I didn't even play this one. And let me see and now we'll look at this one here
Okay, this is the Pokemon world. I Swear, I swear to God guys. This game just came out This is the I can't Here you would not even believe this biggest franchises of video games for all time Pokemon is number three.
You see that? It is one of the biggest franchises of all time. And this is what they did. And these girls are eating it up. They're eating- he knows! See, knows see but see he's he remembers you grew up playing Pokemon on the original
Gameboy You did you maybe on the Gameboy Advance? But you remember you remember how it used to be and you thought oh, you know what I'm gonna try the new one I'm a Nintendo fan I always like Pokemon let's see what it's like yeah how do you feel oh wow he doesn't even know what to say.
I don't know what that means, but I'm assuming it's not good. Okay, if I know anything, this seems like him making fun of it. It does. And, uh, rare candy cheap. Yeah, and what is it? She doesn't exist. Yes, and then oh cuz nobody in the world Responds to you. So anyway, I wouldn't want you as my ops. The game truly is a shame
Let me see if I can find any more of these here. Okay So let's scroll a little bit farther down can I get some gameplay I just want you guys to see what we're up against right now okay this is one of the biggest video game franchises of all time
Defining an entire generation the vice president of the United States can probably name at least 50 Pokemon Think about that I bet Donald Trump can name at least three
And that's what we're at That's where we're at they sued but yes power world got sued for this This is why they say yes, and and now you could see why Nintendo needs those lawsuits, okay Here we go, we'll watch although this there's this one no, no, okay, here we go, we'll watch although this there's this one no no, okay, here we go It shows the fluidity. doesn't make me more excited either. I thought about hate playing this. You know, I probably have like six girls that watch the show and I think it's about time
that we cut that number down to two. And so, uh, you know, maybe we go with the Highlander rule. They can, there can only be one. And so, uh, you know like I Might as well do something like this. And so I see all these girls and I hate to say it. Oh
God, I'm gonna say it
some of these girls I've seen them complain about their boyfriends and It's like you are accepting mediocrity in every aspect of your life Your boyfriend is ignoring you and Nintendo is ignoring you You need to stand up for yourself
Enough is enough. Have some self-respect. This is ridiculous. You can do better than that. I hate to say this to girls, but you deserve better than this.
You do. This is too much. Typhlosion is ignoring shut the fuck up stop it wait what if that's the reason Guys, guys, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying it always. I'm not saying that. But that's crazy, isn't it?
Uh, she has Team Flare...
Um...
Computer and Team Flare Gaming Chair.
Sorry, I'm in front of it.
Uh, let me get away from here.
What is this?
Chat, look!
What's the- the book?
She's got-
She has the whole Team Flare Gaming set.
She is! Oh my god. She's literally her.
I don't even know what to say guys. I really don't. I am so mad at Nintendo. I'm I I've thought about like This is ridiculous. This is absolutely ridiculous. How do you become a genocidal scientist? You start studying Pokemon video games. I don't know. All Nintendo has to do is outsource it to somebody. Yes, can you just outsource this just just outsource this here's what Nintendo needs to do Pay Hoyoverse to just make the Nintendo Pokemon game
the people that made Genshin Impact Just pay them to make it Just say make the game and you can't have sex with the Pokemon. That's the only two rules and The game will be fine. Everything will will be okay there won't be any problems it'll be fine okay this is a day to do two things okay they give that to Hoyoverse and they give this is the other big one Legend of Zelda to from software that's what they need to do if they want to bring
back the switch if they want to bring if they want to if they want to take it to the next level if they want to blow PlayStation 6 out of the line it's all they have to do that's it they do those two things it's done it's done that is no nothing else I even need to do from software not saying yes to that they like new IPs I think that honestly I think that all of the guys at from software if you gave them the opportunity to make the new Legend of Zelda and they said remember that shit
y'all grew up with that dark fantasy do it I Bet they do it. I do I bet they'd fucking do it in a heartbeat I bet they've probably even imagined how they would do it What do you mean? Yeah, hey say guys. Hey, why don't you make Twilight Princess 2? But make it a little bit like Majora's Mask with like the nihilism Go ahead
Yeah, just do it. And that's it. Yeah, do the curse link. Yeah, yeah, they won't do that. Nintendo are greedy and stupid. I'm so, I'm so mad.
I need to go to Japan and go to, I go to Nintendo headquarters and talk, I got to talk to somebody there, right? And you know what I think is really funny? Is I bet there's a lot- I bet there's at least one guy at Nintendo That will see this rant and see this crash out And he'll be sitting there on his, you know, 18 hour work day And he'll be like
...
S- yes
...
I guarantee you there's at least one guy that's gonna see that and he's gonna be like yeah See I knew it because I bet this please talk to them on ironically sure right? I wish I could do that and Yeah, you got a lot of trips for Nintendo Blizzard Congress. I mean just knock them all out right there just daily quests Can we nominate this for the shame awards that I think that I?
Don't know if I'd even be able to do that. Yeah, he won't even know English Can we nominate this for the shame awards? I think that...
I don't know if I'd even be able to do that. Yeah, he won't even know English. I think a lot of the guys know English. Maybe I could speak- I could learn- if I- okay, so let me tell you this. I would learn Japanese if it meant that I could convince them to make a Pokemon game that was actually good like Pal World, okay? like pal world okay like if you took your triple-a best IP I could learn Japanese it take me maybe a year six months that's fine it's taking you 20 Japanese it take me maybe a year six months that's fine it's taking you 20 years and somehow you've gone backwards all right
Get ultra fast and accurate AI transcription with Cockatoo
Get started free β
