TIDAK ADA KATA PAMIT - HANYA PELUKAN PERPISAHAN ‼️ RICHA ISHAK MENYESAL ATAS KEPERGIAN SUAMI ⁉️

The tree was shaped, blood came out of her mouth and nose. She fell and she was like...

Huh?

Huh?

She was so quiet. I regret it, Bun. I regret it. Why didn't I... ...watch it with my father so he could be happy? I love my father. I love my father.

He said,

I don't have a father, Bun. I don't want to lose you. So, on Friday, he just finished shooting with Demian, right? Filming a movie, if I'm not mistaken. For five days, we were shooting. I'm not mistaken. We were shooting for 5 days. We were done with the day. On Friday, actually...

I'll tell you this story from before. On Friday, it seems like she wanted to spend time with her family. So, coincidentally, I was having an event at that time. So, I had to go.

I had already asked my husband and her permission so I had to go. My husband and I had already got permission. I had a gig the week before. So he wanted to invite his son, his brother, Dila. He said, let's go watch the show. Then my son went home from school and hung out with his friends. He couldn't do it, so maybe he felt,

I can't do be with his family, so he decided to go out. So, that day, he came to his mother's house in Rempoa. After that, he went to the workshop in Rempoa. My feeling is, as a wife, I knew what a husband is like. When he saw the Erreking motorcycle,

he felt like, wow, I can hold an Erreking for a long time. I said, let's borrow it. I want to try it. I miss it. He tried it, and he came back. It was like a test drive. He said that. I tried it. I went back again.

It was just like a test drive. I tried it and went back again. A few minutes later, maybe at that time, he felt like, wow, this AirAking is good.

I borrowed it. I wanted to take my clothes home first. You continued. Yes, because he's a smart guy. It's not far. I borrowed it for a while.

Then his friend said, Bro, please accompany me. I said, no, please don't accompany me, it's already late. I'm not wearing a helmet. Ah, it's near here. What time was that?

About an hour before the incident. The incident was more or less possible, around half past one. So maybe if, my calculation, maybe from the workshop to the scene, it can be about half an hour, because he was so fast. So the almarum was on, his friend just wanted to go, he was gone, he was fast.

He can go two ways, one way to the rainbow washing place, the other way his friend went through two paths. One is to the rainbow washing place. The other one is his friend went through the trash. How can they go through the same path? So his friend followed him, but he went the wrong way. Maybe if he went the same way,

he could have met the ghost there.

So he went a different way?

Yes. His friend had already gone to my house, but he didn't come to my house. So I asked his security. Did you see Bang Giri? No. Wow, why hasn't he arrived yet?

I was feeling bad. Finally, I heard something. He was injured in the place where he was being treated. I arrived home at 12. Because there was an event and a traffic jam because there was a match and a football game. I was with my friend.

I got home at 12. I was half asleep. I woke up. Suddenly, I got a call from my neighbor. Bun, Bun, Bun. Bun, I'm sorry.

I talked to him. I know he's Omar's friend. I said, Bun, I'm sorry, Bun. I said it from the inside. Why, Bang? Because I know he's Al-Mahrum's friend. I thought, oh, he's going to borrow the key or something. Why, Bang? Bun, I'm sorry, Bun. Can I go out for a while?

He didn't say it directly. Okay, I don't feel good.

You don't feel good?

I don't feel good because I've never... I was like, why? Because Al-Mahrum was going with him. Al-Mahrum was not there, he didn't come back. I went out. Why, Bang? I told him. Bang Yary was critical, shocked.

I was really shocked.

How? Don't make a joke, I said. Just say it, no, no. I told him, blah, blah, blah. Come on, let's go go to the hospital. I didn't dare to rush because I was scared of something. I drove to the hospital.

At the hospital, there was a lot of blood.

What?

There was a lot of blood.

What do you mean?

It was bleeding. There was a lot of blood. Because the incident was said to be he was hit be a tree-shaped wound. I didn't know because no one knew what it was like. So blood came out of my mouth, from my nose.

I wasn't strong. Honestly, I wasn't very strong. When I saw it, when I entered the ICU, I immediately went out again. Okay, I went out. I couldn't. We, as a family, waited at the hospital until... from 2 AM until morning. We didn't sleep at all.

The doctor explained to us, if you want to be called critical, you are. Then, we only did the incubation and oxygen, so that he can breathe. Because his bleeding is still ongoing, that's what's critical, because he's not stopping.

Because last year, when we were expecting two babies, he was hospital too. But not many people knew, because I was really quiet, so that we could be calm. So, when he went to the hospital, it was April, if I'm not mistaken.

What was the reason?

He had a tumor, it was painful, it was acute, then there was varicose asylvagus that was removed. He was wearing a lot of rings.

Really? You didn't know?

I didn't know. Not many people knew. And at that time, his blood vessels were already broken. At that time, before the hospital was opened, the doctor had warned me, don't let it break, sir. Because if it breaks, it can be dangerous.

Please take care of it, okay? Well, at that time, maybe because the wound was too hard, it broke again. That's what caused a lot of blood to come out of the body? Yes, it can. I was so scared. I was so scared. I was so scared. I was so scared. I was so scared. I was so scared.

I was so scared. I was so scared. I was so scared. I only dared to look to his left side because his right side was worse, more swollen.

Oh, here?

Yes, I only dared from the left. I didn't dare from the right side. And the left side of his toes was like this, it was broken. Oh, it was broken in the back. I only saw that when I was taking a bath. Oh, at that time?

And while you were waiting, the condition was being saved, right? Yes.

How long did it take for the doctor to save you?

It was a long time since I was in critical condition. He said he had a fight. I don't know what the effect was. Maybe because the wound was too big or something. He was a real fighter. He wanted to fight or something. I don't know. He had a fight, so the bleeding got worse.

We just waited for the incubation. But the doctor also said, there should be a gastro doctor, but there was none. So we were busy moving the hospital, because there was no gastro doctor there, because of the traffic jam. When we were struggling to find a doctor here, God was more merciful. So, I did.

What time was it? It was around 9.24. I went home at 7. Because I realized that I hadn't slept yet. I had children. I couldn't be sick. So have kids. I can't be sick.

So, this process will be long. I have to take care of my husband, right?

So, I said, Mom, can I go home for a while? I want to sleep for a while. I'll be back. So, you go home. Because everyone is still asleep. They're already sleepy. Mom also wants to go home., but it was a long trip. I went home, because the distance from the hospital to the house wasn't that far. It was about 20 minutes. I went home, hugged my brother,

and coincidentally, my younger son was not at home, because he was staying at his friend's house. Then, I got home, hugged my brother. I called my mom, asking her why she was not home. I called my dad, asking him how he was doing.

I told him to take a rest, and we'll talk later. I asked him to turn off his phone, and if anything happened, he would tell me. I told him I was just sleeping for a while, and I called him several times.

One of my friends from the room said, Bun, please come here now. The line is flat. The screen is already flat. Yes, the screen. It's already flat.

I panicked. Okay, okay, okay. Let's go, let's go. Not long after, my brother called me on video call. Ica, Ica, Ica, come here, Ica, come here. on the video call. I told her, I told her, this is Allah's way,

Allah's destiny, you should love her more. Everyone regretted, even you. Why don't you stay there? Let me be there for the last time. I told her. I love my father.

I love my father. I told her. Yes, I'm patient. I don't have a father. I don't want to lose my mother. I told him, I told him, I told him, I told him, I told him,

I told him,

I told him, I told him, for the last time. So there was no communication at all, even though he was still alive when he was in the hospital, there was no communication.

No. Not at all. He said, well, he didn't realize it when he was in the hospital. Then before I left,

in the evening,

I don't know why, suddenly he hugged me really tight. The day before that night?

Yes, on Friday afternoon. I left after the Asar prayer, I walked. I walked in the evening, I didn't want to go home at night, I'm afraid of traffic. So I said, come here, come here, hug me first. Because I'm a spoiled girl. I hugged him, kissed him first. Come here, I said.

Come here, I'm in a hurry. He said he wanted to go out, but I'm stuck here. He said, come here, hug me first. Then I was hugged, kissed, he was sent out of the house. I told him to go home and let his father take care of him. That was the last time I saw his face.

That's so rare.

Did you feel it?

Yes. I said, let's just forget about him.

But you didn't have any feelings there was no feeling at all.

No, not at all. Actually, maybe if he was still around, we wouldn't have thought, oh, he gave me a sign yesterday. Who knows? No one knows.

But after he left us, I thought, oh, no wonder, no wonder, no wonder. So we flashback. Did you feel anything like, why are people like that?

Did you feel anything else? I did, because he really likes motorcycles. So I thought, what if he gets into an accident? He got into an accident, and suddenly he was given a look. He got into an accident, and then he was gone.

He was not safe, and then a lot of people came wearing white shirts. I was thinking about that. And then I was like, oh my God, I can't do that.

Like a porn?

Yes, it looked like that. But it turned out that this was what was shown, but the difference was not in my house. We gathered at my mother's house, at her late mother's house. And most of the time everyone wore black clothes.

Oh, so at that time,

because you knew he liked motorcycles, you were worried? Very, he liked motorcycles? Yes, I was worried.

Did you often tell him that you didn't like motorcycles?

Yes, I did.

You did, right? Yes, I did. Because you were worried, right? Yes.

What did you say?

I said, Bismillah.

But I didn't want to.

I was like, I'm your boss, I have my own thoughts. You never told him? I don't want to be like this, I'm your boss, I have your thoughts, no.

Have you ever told him?

No, I don't want to. Afraid he... But it happened once, because I cured him. You're tired, poor thing, I mean, you're on tour for a week, then you get home, you're tired, later when you go I'm tired. I'm afraid I won't be there when I'm with my family. I said, that's enough. That's what I meant.

I'll come back with my family. I don't know if he heard me or not. Maybe he said, Bismillah. Rest here. It happened when I was touring in a certain area. He fell. He got hit in the He hit his ankle.

He got hurt?

Yes. I said, Bun, Dad fell. I couldn't bear it. I said, I'm sorry, Dad. I said, Mom, don't pray like that. I didn't pray for him.

I just felt like he was tired. I wanted to rest. He said, no. It wasn't long after that. He fell again. He's not that long ago. He fell again in the same position. It's okay, Bun.

I can't do anything. He's a patient there. So, he can ride a motorcycle every day? Once a week, if he's touring outside the city.

He's just testing the RX-7.

He's just having fun.

Is the motorcycle's was broken too?

The motor was not broken. My feeling is, sorry if I'm wrong, if he said it was fast, according to the eyewitness, we didn't know.

He said it was fast from the health, because the road was empty at that time. Empty. One, empty. Two, the road was empty at that time. Secondly, the road was a bit downhill and then turned. So he was a bit slow.

He was fast, then maybe he lost control, lost control. Because he was so fast, maybe, maybe. Maybe he was out of control. Then he hit a tree at that time? Because there was still blood by a tree. He was hit by a tree? Yes, because there was still blood on the tree.

Who was the person who found him?

I don't know. Because it was quiet? Yes, it was quiet. Suddenly it became crowded. Yes, of course. But he was still alive, so he was brought to the hospital pretty quickly. And I've been watching a lot of his videos when he got into an accident. He had fallen and he woke up.

There's a CCTV?

No. I've been watching a lot of videos. I haven't seen those videos. Someone sent me a video too. Through a friend. If you're strong, you can see it.

If you're not strong, don't. I'll tell you what my friends, if you're strong, you can see it. If you're not strong, don't. I told my friends what I saw. She fell. She was like, huh? Huh? Then she got up. She got up, sat down, and fell again.

Oh, the internal injury. The one you told me about. Yes. There was a part of the ring that seemed to have broken. Her chest also hurts. It's a lot, Sis. It's like his body is already broken.

But he still fights, I have to be able to do it, I have to be able to do it for my family. Actually he's tired. Really tired.

I know. What kind of tiredness did you feel? Tiredness from the pain, sir. Until I was tired. He was like a healer.

Because he had a conversation with one of his friends, he said, I'm tired, I'm tired of inviting a lot of people.

I think I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of it.

I'm tired, Cong. I'm tired of taking care of so many people. I'm so tired. I don't think I'll live long.

How can you say that?

Yes.

Because the last time, about a week or 10 days before the incident, we had a gathering with the family. We ate together at one of the a mall in Bintaro. I saw that he had a pale face. I asked him to join us for dinner, but he refused.

He said, I don't want to, just have a burger. His younger brother said, Okay, have a burger. I'll order it.

I said, no.

I don't think he has an appetite a burger. He said, no.

He didn't seem to have an appetite.

He didn't seem to have an appetite?

No. I said, eat. I'm just feeding my family. You don't have to eat. Just appreciate it. He said, no.

There's food at home. He didn't eat at home.

Why is that?

I don't know.

I've seen some of us, the family, have seen that there's something different about him. He doesn't have the energy to eat. It's like he doesn't want to eat. You don't know the reason? I know him, Kak. I mean, if he doesn't want to, then fine.

But the difference is, he doesn't want to eat. I know, when he sees food, he's like, wow, what is this? I want to try everything. But he hasn't eaten yet. I know.

You never ask him to tell you,

why are you like this? Actually, Om Haram is the type that I don't want to look sad. I don't want to look sad. I don't want to see a lot of problems in front of people. I just want people to be happy.

I want to make people happy. So, indeed, the fugitives are at home. At home, they are drained, they are tired, because their energy is running out, they are annoying a lot of people. Finally, at home, they can't control it's entertaining to many people. Finally, he brought it home,

he couldn't control it, and he got sick.

You were also tired at home, because of the energy, right?

Oh...

You...

You've known him for 17 years, living in a house, more or less. What made you brave at that time, like Amagiri, what was it?

Yes, he just gave a serious look, just intense, from him being confident, from him approaching, from him doing things that he really effort, I saw it from there. What was the point that made you go with him? There must be a chance to save it. Yes, indeed, to accompany him during the shooting until 6 am. Yes.

So, what's the difference between being a guerrilla at home and being a guerrilla outside?

That's what I said earlier. Oh, being a guerrilla at home is more fun. Outside, he tries to entertain many people. He's trapped. At home, he's already out of energy. So I have to...

You have to take care of him.

Because he needs that from me. So it's like I'm the charger, he's the phone, he spreads the signal everywhere, I'll charge it again when I get home. He had a cell phone, and he spread signals everywhere. When I got home, I charged it again.

You could handle him. 17 years of your marriage, what was the most difficult point? There's a question.

Two heads become one, that's adaptation. If both are hard, it's harder. If both are hard, one has to give up. I'm I gave her advice, I gave her more experiences. So she already knew. There were so many lessons that she took. Maybe, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be like this. You accompanied her, and she was living a very ups and downs life. As a wife, you must be strong and patient.

Do you feel like you're the patient type? I was taught by my mother to be a strong, patient person because my mother was like that too.

There's an example.

I can be like this because of my mother too. So, I can't. It's not fair. Maybe my parents were known for this and that. But I'm not a fan of it. I'm like, maybe, the way the honor room is known is like this, like this, like this. But I'm like, I'm not perfect either.

As a woman or as a wife, I have to learn a lot too. We also often tell each other, yes, it should be like this, like this. Later, like this, like this. There are also many mistakes. We will fix it later. to If a woman is close to menstruation, she will be like... She remembers it all the time.

She will be like, I don't know. Because she knows I'm like that. So I can't totally 100% blame her. I will ask myself. Am I right? Why is he like that? What did I do wrong? That's what I learned from Mr. Harum.

If you... Okay, I was wrong. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry too. So, we teach him to be together. Because marriage is not just one, but we have to be synchronized.

So, if we have a problem that can't be solved, we just need to cool down first, and then we talk. That's it. So, you guys are meant to be. Unfortunately, it has to be completed in 17 years. Maybe this is what is said said until death do us part.

Fate until death do us part, in the end. What is on your mind when you see it? It's already there, right? Blank. The ego is gone.

Empty, right?

Empty.

Or more focused, not until the kids, the mentality drops. or more focused so that the children's mental drop?

If for that time, honestly, the energy is gone. One, the energy is gone. Second, like a reminder, one day we will be there. Ready for us to see someone being buried, it's just a reminder. One day we will pray there.

So, it's a reminder.

Of course.

It's a reminder. And, God willing, when we buried the deceased, it was very fragrant.

Oh. Yes. What does it mean? I was buried by the Holy Spirit. It was very fragrant.

What was the meaning?

I hope that he will be accepted by all, and worship Allah. And also Usdul Fatima. I hope he will die a martyr. So he will be good. He will be buried with good. With good. And all will be made easy. And it was also a good thing that he passed away. And everything was made easier.

Alhamdulillah, many people came. And more people prayed, insyaAllah.

Ameen. I also send my prayers for Geri. I hope Geri is also there. She's calm, right?

InsyaAllah she's calm. Maybe she can see us here.

Yes, we're talking like this. But at that time, was there anyone who bothered you? There was a woman with blue hair.

Did you get bothered at that time or you just didn't realize it? Okay, I'll say it again. This blue-haired guy is called Devi.

Okay.

He is a friend of the late Tik Tok guy. Oh. I know him. But honestly, because my energy is running out, I can't ignore him.

Okay. The point is, he's wrong.

Okay. Don't make me surprised. The point is, he was wrong. Because the one who stood up...

Don't make me surprised.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Peace be upon you, Ayah.

Yes, go on.

He was wrong in any way. One, we, the family, who were standing there, we are in mourning. I'm sorry, but how can he? Using a cellphone while live, how can he? And I don't know until I'm calm, everyone is new.

Everyone is talking, telling stories, showing the video, all kinds of things. So it's content? Yes. I was told that I was the one who was being filmed.

So you were being filmed?

Yes. You were being filmed? Yes. And my kids were saying, Yes, Bun. This is it, Bun.

This is it, Bun. Huh? Is that so? Why didn't you say yes?

Because you were right next to me. Did he apologize to you? No. Oh, so he just apologized on social media? Yes. Oh, he didn't apologize to you?

No, he didn't apologize to me or to his family. If he had good empathy, he should have apologized to me as a late wife and to his children because he almost hit my little son's head. His cellphone was on top of his head. And he said, this was ordered by his mother.

His mother?

I mean, what? How? How could he say that?

But what I know is that Gary has a lot of friends. He hangs out with almost everyone. He doesn't look at any group. He looks at the character, what kind of person he is.

Like you said earlier. Just like that. Since he was a kid. What is it that Gary is looking for? He likes to entertain a lot of people.

Why?

Maybe it's to bring happiness to himself. I'm So, you two finally emigrated? I think it was before that. It's been 10 years. What was the reason for that? Why did he decide to emigrate? At that time, maybe Almarhum was at his lowest point. He didn't know where his life's goal was going to lead him. And then Allah gave him a way from one of his companions.

Come on, if you want to start from scratch, let's go. We'll show you. From there, he changed. I was surprised. Two bands, prayer. Something like that.

But he was consistent in doing it.

It was Almarhum who taught me. Maybe people say, Oh, his wife brought him. No, Almarhum brought me. Almarhum made me change, to be better than before. I was told to wear hijab. But I was told not to force her. I was told to wear hijab if I felt comfortable.

But I was told not to force her. I was told not to force her. I was told not to force her. I was told not to force her. I was told not it before I got married. I said, Isa, you can pray only when you want to sleep.

He said, okay. I said, I can pray until 9pm. After that, I can pray. If you ask for anything, you can ask Allah for a lot. Allah will call you,

you can still watch, you can still do anything. You can pray. The reward is different. I'm still an old-fashioned person. I understand. You know, when there's a conversation about Cicak Bunyi, it's like, it's true. Where's Cicak?

I don't know.

I know Cicak is always in the front. But 17 years, there must be a lot of ups and downs, which you as a woman, there are times when you are tired too, right?

Sure.

Have you ever been clear that I'm not there are times when you're tired too, right? Sure. Have you ever felt that you're not strong enough?

Of course.

What made you decide to stay here?

I have to always be here.

Almarhum encouraged me.

Oh, Almarhum too, finally.

Yes.

He always said, Bun, never give up. Never give up, there's always a solution. When I was down, he was the first person who cheered me up. In everything, like taking care of my child, he cheered me up. I was the one who encouraged them. All of them.

Now, I'm very grateful to be surrounded by good people.

My best friend is waiting for me. Now, when she's gone, I'm the one who encouraged them. The kids, I encouraged them. I told them to be strong, to be patient. I told them if they had eaten. I was like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, just send her? No, please, I can't lose her, I can destroy my first child. God willing, she will be there for us.

With no Giri, it's hard. How was it? One week?

Nine days. 9 days, yes. 9 days, yes. 9 days is the hardest day, right? The hardest day. Maybe, yes. Maybe, now, not yet. Because I...

Yes, it's hard, it's definitely hard. But, I mean, even now, I still feel that he's still there. Because, in Islam, up to 40 days, It's definitely hard, but I still feel that he's still there. Because in Islam, there's still a 40-day period.

Okay.

After 40 days, he'll be back there.

It's like he's out of town. Yes. He hasn't felt lost.

I've often visited his house, and he gave me his sign.

What do you mean?

So, on Thursday, yesterday, my mother was still at home, taking care of me. I was at home with my children. Let's read the Yassin, it's Friday night. So, my mother and Adila were the first to read the Yassin. After that, my son was taking a shower, the first one. I read the script, and it was done. My daughter was taking a shower, the little one.

She said, I saw my dad earlier. He was wearing a white shirt. Alhamdulillah. That's amazing. My daughter was not afraid.

She just said it. I saw my dad earlier. Okay. After that, it was done. We did our usual activities.

The ones that were seen by the girls, right?

Yes, the ones that were seen by the girls. It was a coincidence that Omarum's family had that advantage. So, if I did it, I couldn't do it. I just felt it. After that, I finished cleaning up the old clothes in the room.

Suddenly,

What is it? It smells so good.

Seriously?

Yes.

It's the perfume smell?

Yes, no one uses it.

Seriously?

Do you smell it in your nose?

I smell it in the small room. It's the end of the year. It's small, one room is fragrant It's a good time No

Okay, okay

I got to because I was cleaning up the things in the bedroom I got to look for this perfume is spilled or what I look for it, it's not in the closet nowhere

I immediately okay Assalamualaikum, Ayah I'm like that but it's just behind the door. He often hung his clothes, his jacket, if he put it there.

I like to say, Ayah, don't put it here. I usually get angry. So I called his son. Little brother, little brother, come here. Kiss.

Eee, smells good. Then he, maybe he's still naked, where is Ayah? I couldn't see where Ayah was. The man often sat at the end of the bed,

facing the lamp table. He often sat there.

Let's hug, Ayah.

Because it smells so fragrant.

It was the fragrance he often used to go on Friday.

Then I went out of the room, there was no fragrance, just in the room. Oh, I see.

Until dawn, I prayed dawn prayer, I read all kinds of prayers, and I went back and disappeared. Until dawn, it was still there.

So for 9 days, you were still there?

Yes.

Still there?

Yes, still there. There were a lot of incidents. The one with the glass, suddenly someone was there and it was a hit. No, no, I believe, because I... My mother also told me, because some of her family members have passed away, every time they are buried,

until the 40th day, they still go around, visiting their family, friends, that is still our religious model, we believe.

So there is a possibility that he will come here?

Yes.

I'm wondering if there is a chance for him. come here? Yes. I'm so nervous, I swear I'm not lying. Let's change the topic. Ger, you're here, right? Because in my head, I always think of Geri as a fun person. Because I'm not that close to him. If you look at Geri,

what do you think about your weakness? When I'm sick.

Fever?

Yeah, when a woman is sick, she still has a fever and cough.

She's the only one.

She's always sneezing.

Yeah.

I just want to be pampered.

You just want to be pampered. So, now the kids can accept this condition?

Well, I lost my husband, who I've been with for 17 years. I know I'm sad, I know I'm lost. I'm sure I'm lost. I know I'm in pain. But I can't keep going like this.

Life must go on. I must be strong for my children. Maybe if I don't have children, I'll keep on crying. Maybe. But because they see that I'm strong, and determined,

I can accept it. And they will follow me. Yes, you still have a reason to be strong. They saw that the woman was strong and determined to accept, so they joined.

Yes, you still have a reason to be strong.

Yes, because they saw me. So if I cry, they cry. If I'm strong, they're strong. I have to be a mirror for them.

Where was the moment you cried together?

When we were in the ambulance. I was in the ambulance from the hospital to the orphanage. Then from the orphanage to the mosque, we prayed together. Then from the mosque to the cemetery, we were one family there. I was with the children from the previous one there. Well, I cried. What do you want?

You want to cry together.

It's impossible. Don't cry, don't cry. I let it all out. It's okay. They can cry if they want.

But at that time, you were more afraid of losing them.

I cried, like, I'm sad. Why did my father leave? Why did my father leave? Why so soon? It's like a dream.

If I accept it, I have to accept it or not. But I can't just accept it. I can't. At the funeral, you said you encouraged Icah. Yes.

What did he say?

No, I didn't say anything. But we are family. Maybe what we teach our children, they will follow. So at home, when I'm sad, or the father is sad,

or the children are sad, Almaram likes to pat his back, pat his chest. Then when I'm sad, finally, the little brother follows. Mother, mother, drink first. He drank and drank, and then he was so drunk.

So, that's what he did. He treated me the way we treat him.

So, he followed her.

Yes, he just followed her. Is there any story, from people who are close to you, after you passed away, that made you feel touched? Is there any story from people who are close to you after the death of Icah?

Icah may not know.

Not a story. We will know how he lived when he died. That's what made me nervous when we went to the cemetery. So when we were at the Dukha house, going to the mosque, it was raining. It was drizzling, not too big. From the mosque to the cemetery, one of my neighbors, who was in Bintaro, I saw this, Mbak Ica.

Suddenly, the wind that was suddenly like that. Suddenly, it's like giving way, okay, this is in the cemetery. And it didn't rain until the cemetery. While those who had arrived at the cemetery first, it said it had rained first. Although not big. But when we arrived, it didn't rain.

Like an anomaly.

Yes.

So, that's the story. I got to the cemetery when we were walking. It was like a relief. It was a terrible traffic jam. The area of Rompowa, Depo, Tanah Kusir, on Saturdays, the traffic was terrible.

It was very crowded. But everyone, not just the group of us, I was in the jail for a long time. I was in the jail for a long time. The march on Saturday was amazing. It was very crowded. But everyone, not just the group of us, gave way. I cried.

What did you do for the people?

And at this time, what you hope for, he must be calm. But, And now, what you're hoping for, she'll be at peace. Of course. But that's for you. You don't know yet.

You're trying to explain all this, and you feel like you haven't lost it. When the time comes, it'll be pretty big. Of course.

Where will you go? To the kids? When the time comes, it will be quite a big hit. Of course. Where will you go? To the kids? I won't go anywhere, because there is Allah. Just relax. Just hold my hand.

That's it?

So you don't have any thoughts about where to go next? Who will start to look for a livelihood? I'm the one looking for a livelihood one who's looking for a livelihood. You're looking for a livelihood.

You walk with your faith, you're looking for a livelihood.

God willing.

Along with his shadow.

God willing.

Who accompanies you every time and step.

God willing.

Eh, I'm sad.

Yesterday, I had, Alhamdulillah, yes, I mean... We sent a lot of food. We were overflowing. We shared it. We came home yesterday. We shared it with our neighbors,

our friends, everyone. One of the friends said, Bun, I often feed you to other people. That's why you got it.

Really?

He often feeds us all. He eats with us, Bun. He's so nice.

I know, his style.

He often feeds us. Even when he's cleaning, he's being defended by his friends.

He's so generous. Even if he's in a fit, he's still being defended by his friends. Yes, he's a very patient person.

Which two children have you started to feel very lost?

The youngest.

Jisro, his older brother.

His older brother?

His name is a boy. Sometimes he's more like a mother. With his father, maybe because of his busy schedule, time constraints, and the way we talk. I feel sorry for him. One of the reasons is because I try to be a spectator.

I love him, Bun.

Ayah.

Bun, I'll take care of Ayah. Yes, I'll take care of Bunda. I'm taking care of my mother. Yes, take care of your mother and your brother. Your mother is a woman, your brother is a woman. He's really worried when I go out. Where has your mother gone?

She's more possessive. What have you been doing for the past nine days? I've been receiving guests for 7 days.

Guests?

Yes, and they never stopped. So you never had time to be alone?

No.

So you were distracted?

But I was once, when I was taking my kids to school, they were in the same school. It was a small thing. I was like, I can do it, God willing. Strong, strong, strong. I didn't cry, I didn't cry. After school, I got married. I just parked in front of the lobby.

I was already in. There were a lot of parents who brought me there. And they were all their fathers. The one who rode a motorcycle, the one who took care of me, the one who hugged me. I was like, oh my God, she's crying again. That's how it is. Oh, that's normal. Those are small things that

turned out to still be there.

Oh.

Yes.

I took a picture of my brother yesterday. I wanted to send it to him. Oh, yes. She's crying again. I said, why? I didn't forget.

I forgot that the baby was gone. I wanted to send a photo. Here, Ade. We communicate by sending photos. It's intense in WA. We've arrived. Here's this, here's that. I want to send it, but I forget.

I can't imagine moments like this. I've experienced it in my life. Everyone experiences phases. Phase of loss, phase of denial, phase of trying to accept, and then phase of request.

It's possible, God willing. But it's a process. But I'm sure it's possible. Is there anything that you haven't achieved in life? Actually, I don't want to do much. Because we follow the path of Allah, where do we want to go?

That's how people are.

Yes, I am like that. So, we can be ambitious, but if Allah blesses us, what do we want to say? We have dreams A, B, C, D, but Allah hasn't given us yet. So, it's like, yes, I will keep on walking, but if Allah hasn't given me this, it's okay.

So, it means that you are already walking diligently. And I will eventually follow. Follow him. Oh yes, so our lives are calmer, more peaceful, not hard. For example, we have a job, suddenly it doesn't work, I want to do it, maybe like that.

Yeah, that was before. But after we apply the calm and peaceful pattern, every time there is like that, oh, maybe I haven't given it yet, so I'll give more, wait, maybe I haven't given it yet. So give more. Wait, be patient. So it's more comfortable.

We use that pattern. And indeed, a few years before, since he emigrated, he remembered, what he always remembered was death. And that's what I just remembered.

So, when I went to the hospital yesterday, the Hamidul Eid, all the kids were gathered at home. And one of the kids said, Dad, I'm going home now.

He was angry. And Almarhum has never been serious with the kids. Usually he's angry. Oh, you. Usually he's like that, you're usually like that, right?

But this one, no.

It's like giving a sign too. And I still remember until now. He said something like this, you rarely come here, rarely gather. Don't you want to live at your dad's house now?

I want to live in the apartment. I mean,

I'm angry.

Be patient.

Aman, what's that? I'm panicking. Be patient.

Are you okay?

What's that? I don't know what you just said.

I heard something.

Oh, this?

No? No.

I swear, this is a mess. In the kitchen?

In the kitchen.

It's in the kitchen, right?

Yes.

Cat? No, there's no cat. No. It's in the kitchen, right? Dapur kan? Kucing? Enggak, enggak ada. Dapur kan? Lanjut, lanjut ya.

Nggak apa-apa ya, Kak.

Iya, waw. Lanjut, lanjut.

Iya, terus udah gitu, baru sempat ngomong gini, kamu tuh udah jarang kesini, nggak nengokin ayah. Nggak ada ya, katanya gitu. He said, you rarely come here, you don't visit your father. He said, no. Everyone stays here, no one goes home.

What if there's no father's birthday next year? Okay, I just stayed quiet. I was shocked. Why did he say that? He has his own thoughts.

But how is that a sign? Like a clue from him. I was thinking about it, but I didn't know it was a sign. It was like a clue from him. I was like... I was like this... I was talking to the kids.

I said, stop it.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'll go get my clothes. Yes, wait for me. He was so angry. Wait for me. I'll be there.

He said, wait for me. I said, where are you? I Problems inside, and all that. Yes, because it affects his mood. His energy must be big to carry a body that is already rusty. Yes, that's right. What he said was tired. Because he also likes to joke with me. If you're sick, it's down with the mood.

So angry, so unclear not clear, I skipped. So, on the one hand, with him leaving now, he's calmer, right? Yes, that's why I'm more in love with him. That's why I'm already at the point where I have to be sincere. Because if we are not sincere, poor Almarhum over there. He's heavy.

But if we are sincere, that's why if we take a shower and want to kiss Almarhum, we can't do it under the eyes. Oh yeah, I know that. Afraid that Almarhum over there will be upset.

It's the same for us, if we are not sincere, still grumbling, still in pain, still sad, and we don't stop, then He won't be at peace there either. I have to be sincere no matter what. I have to do whatever it takes. Because it's for the sake of God too.

And I actually thank God. Maybe God loves me more. God is more... You're tired, you're already... Take a rest.

If it was yesterday, when you were at the hospital, you didn't have time to talk, right? If we take a step back, what do you want to say to him? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm going to go. I'm sure I'll say that. I've been telling him that for the past four years. When he was hospitalized, he was dying.

When he was in critical condition?

Yes. I told him, if he doesn't recover, it's over. So, unconsciously, you were ready for that day, when he finally left yesterday. Because it's been four years, you've started... So you already have a feeling that he will leave first. I have a feeling, but I don't want to...

Yes, you don't want... Well, that's not a bad prayer, right?

Yes, that's right. Just deny yourself. I already have a feeling. But maybe it's God's will, I'll give you another chance. is He's here, so I don't know what to say. What do you wish for him as a follower? I wish for him to be calm and happy after every prayer. I'm sure he's happy there.

He only sees us from afar. He protects us from the torture of the grave. He protects us from all the torture inside. Maybe he's already in the grip of Allah. He accepts his worship. We don't have to think about what we have here.

We are already sincere to him. I hope he is calm. He is enjoying peace and no longer sick. He doesn't have to take those many medicines. If he answers, you will be fine without me, right? Inshallah. There is Allah.

May he be given a good place here. May he be given a good place here. Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.