TODAY's Sheinelle Jones Opens up About Loss of Husband Uche Ojeh

Welcome back. This is a big day for us here in our studio because we're about to welcome back with open arms our beloved

friend Chanel. Yes, we are. As you know, Chanel stepped away from our show to support her husband and family through UJ's courageous fight against cancer. Well, before Chanel's

return over the summer, we sat down to talk about love, about loss, and what she calls her beautiful nightmare. I think the first question is the one that seems simple, but it's the hardest in some ways which is just how you're

doing.

That might be the hardest question you start with the hardest question. In this moment, I'm okay. Day to day, I'm okay. From a macro picture, how am I doing? My heart is shattered. My heart is shattered in a million pieces. The life that I've known since I was 19 is no more. I've always wanted kids and I have three kids of my own now and they've lost their dad and I'm their mom.

It sucks. So how am I doing? You know, it's day to day. I'm proud of myself for you know, how I've coped so far. I'm proud of my kids for how we've been able to try to pull through but it's it's horrible. It's just horrible, but I'm here and breathing in. It's a nightmare to nightmare, but something that you've said

to me a lot over these months, sometimes says it's a beautiful night. It's a beautiful night and when you say that what you mean, you know, everybody knows by now I were college sweethearts and I remember when he was 17 and I was 19 and we were sitting in our My dorm room at Northwestern and we said this beautiful view of this clock tower and we would stare out the window sometimes the clock tower and just talk and dream and sometimes just not talk and just be

Fast forward almost 30 years. I'm sitting in this beautiful, beautiful hospital room and we were looking at this beautiful view of New York City. Here we are again not talking and I remember staring out of the window and I'm like, oh my God, like, it's like this crazy full circle moment. Here we are again, not talking, and it feels like a beautiful nightmare.

It felt scary, it felt divine, it felt bigger than us, but at the end of the day, like, when we shut the door and it was just us, that was always when we felt like we read our best. And my 19 year-old self did it.

And then my 47 year-old self was doing it again and it's just

like.

We would just hold hands. The nurses will come in and they would cause the lovebirds and we would just look at each other say I love you and hold hands. But that's what I mean by beautiful nightmare, because I found beauty in the nightmare. And trust me, it is a nightmare to watch a 45-year-old do two triathlons and

live and breathe off of soccer and his kids. To take a guy like that

nightmare.

the way we saw the best of humanity that was beautiful. So it's my beautiful nightmare. no idea.

It was I'd say a few weeks before I ran the marathon.

And I know that people will say, what? But I ran that marathon with that on my shoulders. And little did I know that that marathon was going to set me up for a real one. When I ran the marathon, it was like, okay, one foot in front of the other, one breath at a time. Oh my God, this is so hard. I can't take another step.

Yes, you can. You know, it's like all of those things who knew I was, it was like a template, a manual for what I was going to have to deal with. And it's interesting too, because, and I've talked to you about this, the people who knew would say, Oh my God, you're doing such a good job at faking it. And it really bothered me I kind of brush it off but it bothered me because I'm not faking it like my joy is real. I was on television for a also year with this with this behind the scene, I would do the show and then

happen the car and go be with him drink, you know to say I wasn't faking it. I mean joy was really make it my joy was real and I think 2 things can be true I can hold on to my joy first and foremost because I had my faith and you couldn't tell me that he wasn't going to beat it. I believed he was going to be OK and it was going to be tough.

But we all believe he would be fine and I got to that place where I didn't know what tomorrow would bring so when I decided to take a leave, that was why, because I didn't know what tomorrow would bring. And I was starting to feel like I didn't want to miss it. I didn't want to look back. I wanted to be strong, and I wanted

to look back and know that I was strong. But I didn't want to be so strong that I missed this blessing right in front of me, you know that I missed the fight that I missed the beauty in the fight that I missed just looking in his eyes because I was his oxygen sometimes I would just.

And can I just say Chanel as your friend that witnessed this you did that you put the whole family on your shoulders, you carried him. You never lost that light in your eyes for him. You

never lost it and he never lost that light in his eyes for you. Yeah, if anything, it feels like it got stronger. You know, listen, we would have been married 18 years this month, and it just felt like we always kind of had it. And when he was dying, I would say, this sucks, and this is scary, but if you asked me if this was going to be my fate, I would do it all over again.

You showed love. You did love. You kept the faith. You fought the good fight. And so did he. Yeah.

Uche was such a fighter. And he had such strong faith.

It was his lifeline. You know, I can easily understand why when people go through something like this they turn away from their faith. There are times where I'm like, God I've been praying for this job since I was in fifth grade. Like, yellow construction paper under the helmet hair. Miss James will tell you, I did little hoop earrings, and a little box by my head in fifth grade,

and you got me all the way here, and you take my husband. Are you kidding me?

Like, really?

What did I do? Why me? There can't be a God. Like, no way a God would do that to somebody like Chanel. There's no way, right? It would be very easy to think that. But you look at somebody like my husband,

his faith is what kept him going. You talk about faith over fear, he had it. And when he was low, there was nothing I could say, there was nothing anyone could say. The only thing that would soothe his heart would be like praise and worship music. And it would just give him this peace. And I watched him and his toughest moments. His faith is what gave him peace.

And so I think, okay, if Uche can have faith when his life is on the line, surely I can, and surely we all can can and so I saw him hold on to it and so I I I have on to it as well. It's been incredibly strong for your kids you have your own grief and your own sorrow, but you're also raising 3 kids and carrying their grief as well.

And how are they doing how are they handling their young also raising 3 kids and carrying their grief as well.

answer my phone and just sit.

It would be amazing.

I'm OK, I'm like we're going to be all right and then I get on the elevator and this guy gets on and he has the same sneakers that Uche wore in rehab. And I start crying and the guy's like. You know, so grief is not like, today it's better, it's better, it's better, it's better. Ah, we're there. Grief is like a wave.

And what I've told my kids it's almost like rain can't last forever and so when the rain comes in some ways I've learned to just look up at the rain and let it be a cleansing rain and let it clear the air and so I don't run away from crying anymore when it comes to grief. I see it it's like okay here comes my cleansing rain and it's okay and I almost feel better and then I go back to what I'm doing and so I don't fear it anymore. We've all heard the saying that grief is just love with no place to go. And so when it comes now, I'm like, okay.

You can come.

We can sit for a little bit.

And then, okay, now it's time to go.

You're returning to work now. It's back to school time. It's back to work now you're it's back to school time it's back to work for you. This season.

It's different it is but you're still you still me and that is why I'm here. I will tell you I have feverishly search for. I'm use or like who can I admire who's lost her husband that I can be I want to you to but I was trying to find like the closest thing to me so

I googled black widow. It's just spiders.

That's my she.

I stopped searching for me and just be me I know there could be people watching me in hospital rooms around this country. What I know to be true is that I see you and I'm part of this club, but cancer doesn't have to steal our joy.

We can get up, we can get out of bed, and we can go to work. We can go to school. We can squeeze the most out of the days that we have and honestly I feel like it's a heartbeat was on the line. So I owe it to him to squeeze the most I can out of this

thing it's like okay, we've got this for you and so for all of us who are grieving. It's like okay, we can grieve you. And so for all of us who are grieving, it's like, okay, we can grieve, but we can also still try to move forward. We don't move on, but we move forward with our loved ones. And I hope that just by me being on this set

and me returning to work, it's like, okay, if I can do it, so can you, right? So don't get me wrong wrong like my heart still hurts. So if you see me now and you see me laughing return on the morning show and I'm laughing having a good time you root for

me because I'm fighting for my joy. watching and don't forget you can catch the today show every morning on NBC or take today when you're on the go just follow the today podcast on Apple podcast spotify or follow the today podcast on Apple podcast spotify or wherever you listen.