Trump's Desperate to Destroy the Planet, Pam Bondi’s Epstein Karen-Thon & Dems Want ICE Reform

I'm Jimmy. I am the host of the show, The Animal. Well, that's very kind. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us here tonight.

We are coming to you from our home in Los Angeles, California on All-Star Weekend. On Sunday, our city's host to the NBA All-Star Game. Any of you going to the game this Sunday?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like half of you are lying, but OK. All the big stars will be in town on Sunday. Instead of the usual, you know, it's usually a matchup between the East and the West. This year, the teams will be made up of Americans against players from the rest of the world.

And you know, I've been hoping somebody would figure out another way to pit us against the rest of the world. I want to thank the NBA for doing that. I'll be watching the alternative All-Star game on Turning Point USA this week. The NBA one's a little too ethnic for me,

if you know what I mean.

Between the All-Star game and Valentine's Day, there's going to be a lot of scoring this weekend. Am I right, folks? And you know what I mean by scoring, right? I mean sex, right? You got that, right Guillermo?

Yes, Jimmy, yes.

What is your lovemaking plan for the weekend, this weekend,

Guillermo?

How will you approach this with your wife?

Well, we're going to have dinner, margaritas, and gummies.

Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's a good plan.

Do you ever worry about, like, the timing of all of it and whether it tips too far?

No, I double check. You know, I see her, I say, OK, wait, wait. It's time for half a gummy. And yeah. I keep eyes on her, you know?

You keep her well calibrated.

Exactly.

So Valentine's Day is on Saturday. This is everything you need to know. Flowers are all sold out. There are no more dinner reservations. You're probably getting divorced, OK? But here's a little money saving tip.

You can save a bundle on candy hearts just by writing the words I heart you on a Tums. And put them in there. President Trump might be feeling a bit lonely this Valentine's Day because this fundraising email has been going out from the RNC that says, do you still love me?

I miss you. And then it asks you to take a poll. And then, like a lot of dirtbag boyfriends, it asks you for money. And then, if you don't come up with money, you get another email that says, Trump is sad.

And then if you open that email, he says, I'm heartbroken. It's Trump, and this isn't like you. Look at that picture. Does that look like a heartbroken? That does not look like a heartbroken. That is, at best, that is constipation.

But if you do want to cheer him up, please give him money. He loves money. He loves love. He is a great lover of love. Outside of windmills and late night television, Donald Trump loves so many things.

I love my signature. I really do. Everyone loves my signature.

I love solving wars.

I love these brilliant minds.

That's why I love you, Elon.

I love that chart so much.

I sleep with that chart. I love doing it. I love tariffs.

I love the farmer. I love Pakistan. I love Europe. I love Oklahoma, by the way. I love the people of China. I love the people of Russia.

I love Hispanic. I love the Lumbee tribe. I love black people.

I love this guy.

Do we love minors? I love minors. I love Kessler. I love you. Who are you?

You know, when you have passion like that, the fire never goes out. Donald and Melania are planning to have a romantic dinner on Saturday night, separately of course. The vice president, interesting fact about JD Vance, he never gets his wife a gift or even flowers for Valentine's Day because he likes it when she makes

him go sleep on the couch. That's his sexy time. You know, JD Vance has been very weakly defending his boss and the fact that Trump's name is mentioned more than a million times in what are now known as the Trump-Epstein files.

We're getting that trademark.

You can spread it around.

Feel free.

Earlier this week, we learned that Trump's Commerce Secretary, Howard Lutnick, took a boat to Club Ped despite claiming he'd cut ties with Epstein years beforehand. And now we're seeing all manner of colorful stuff coming out of Trump land, including this.

But as as many accusers still wait for their long overdue justice, the rest of the world is still waiting for answers. Why did it take so long for Epstein to face these charges? Who are the people that enabled his horrific behavior over the years?

And will they ever face justice?

That's from Oz True Crime in 2019. And what makes it interesting is that in 2016, three years before that, Dr. and Mrs. Oz invited Jeffrey Epstein to their house for a Valentine's Day party. Eight years after he'd registered as a sex offender.

Only the best people, you know? Although in fairness, one thing I know about Dr. Oz is when he throws a party, he goes all out for his guests.

I'll be the vagina.

That's right.

He is the consummate host. And then on the other end of the hospitality spectrum, we have Attorney General Pam Bondi, who put on a nearly five-hour Karen-thon in front of the House Judiciary Committee yesterday. And for those who are wondering when the abuse of power will end, the answer is never, probably.

So a photographer got a shot of her folder. She opened the folder. They got a shot and you see a page that says, Jayapal Pramila search history. That refers to Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal, a Democrat, with whom Bondi exchanged in one of the most contentious exchanges of the day. The photo appears to show a list of everything Jayapal searched for in the Trump Epstein

files, which again we've trademarked. They tracked her search history in the private room at the DOJ, where congresspeople are you know, legally permitted to look at the less redacted files, and it would seem that they tracked those congresspeople without their knowledge. They looked at their search history to give Bondi an edge in the hearings, and then they're

so dumb, they printed it out and put a title on the top. Jayapal Pramila Search History. It's such a delicate balance between stupid and evil. And the idea that the Department of Justice in the executive branch is spying on Congress people in the legislative branch is deeply disturbing. And I'll tell you what, you can be

damn sure the squeaker of the house, Mike Johnson, is going to have something to say about it.

I don't think it's appropriate for anybody to be tracking that. So I will echo that to anybody involved with the DOJ. And I'm sure it was an oversight. That's my guess.

It's an oversight. That's a bad guess. An oversight? You mean somebody forgot to not track and document everything elected members of Congress were privately looking up?

That is a hell of an oversight. I think it might be good. Crack out the thesaurus for a new word. He's going to echo that to the Department of Justice. This is an interesting detail. As you know, there are 535 members of Congress.

Do you know how many computers the Department of Justice set up to let them look through the 3 million pages of Trump Epstein files? Trademark. Four. Four. Four.

There are four computers for all of them to share. I called the Burbank library today. They have 22 computers. The Trump Epstein files has four, OK? Pam Bondi has spent more time investigating the people who are reading the Epstein files than the people

who are in the Eps, I mean the Trump Epstein files. But maybe they're losing their grip, you know? Six Republicans in the House jumped ship yesterday, voting with Democrats against Trump's inexplicable tariffs on Canada. Of course the president threw a fit about it.

He threatened them, he did the whole thing. Trump has really had it in for Canada ever since he found out about that gay hockey show. We're headed in a, I think, I feel like we're heading into an interesting era for Donald Trump.

Unless he's able to cheat his way through the next election, it looks very likely that Democrats will take back control of Congress in the midterms. Which, you know, let's not make any presumptions. But if it happens, he'd be a lame duck with greatly

diminished influence. And I feel, you know what he's going to be like? You remember the Iron Sheik? He was a wrestler who retired about, I don't know, 30 years ago. He was big in the 80s.

But until he was in his 80s, he would still put on his costume. He would scream at people. He would threaten to sodomize them. He'd call them jabronis. And everybody just kind of pretended to be scared.

I'm like, oh, no. Because he was old and kind of nuts, you know? That's what Trump's going to be like. This guy.

Jimmy, come on! I'm going to put you in the camel clutch like Hulk Hogan or Brian Blair. And I'm going to break your back. And I'm going to fuck your ass. And I'm going to make you humble.

Well, that would do it.

I have been humble ever since. I mentioned last night, you did nothing to protect me when he threatened to do that to me.

I was soft that they, I was soft when that happened.

Oh, all right, all right.

Last night, I mentioned that Trump was honored with the Undisputed Champion of Coal Award. And today, he became the greenhouse gas hole of the year. Today's atrocity was repealing and rejecting a finding from 2009

by the EPA that says carbon dioxide is bad for our planet. And by doing this, it means that our government can no longer take action to fight climate change. Anyone can now pump anything out of their cars or whatever into the air for the benefit of those who sell fossil fuels.

It is a great MAGA victory and also a source of intense pride for the man who sell fossil fuels, it is a great MAGA victory and also a source of intense pride for the man who made it happen, Lee Zeldin, Trump's head of the EPA.

Today, the single largest act of deregulation in the history of the United States, over $1.3 trillion. The elimination of the endangerment finding is signed, sealed, and delivered.

Thank you, Lee. That was long. But good. It was good. Maybe I should say great. It was great.

Poor Lee.

You know, you worked so hard to try to destroy the planet for a guy, and that's the thanks you get. And then we have our Secretary of Health, RFK, who croaked his way to a podcast today to drop this little nugget of nuts.

And I said, I'm not scared of a germ. You know, I used to snort cocaine off of toilet seats.

That's how he killed the brain worm, you know? And with all this talent in Trump's cabinet, it's hard to believe we're heading for another government shutdown. This will be a partial shutdown. It involves funding for the Department of Homeland Security, which runs ICE. If a deal isn't reached by Saturday, the DHS will be closed for business.

Democrats want ICE officers to revise some of their policies before agreeing to give them any more money, and Republicans are so far unwilling to go along with that. These are very basic requests. These are essentially the same guidelines police have to follow when they arrest people. So Democrats released a 10-point plan for reforming ICE and the Border Patrol. They asked them that they don't do this. They asked them don't do this. They said, please don't do this.

They said, we don't want you to do this or this. Don't do this. They don't do this. Don't do this. And they said, please don't do this. And we would prefer it if you don't do this.

That's right.

And I don't know. It seems OK to me, right? And one more thing, one important thing before we forge ahead. It is Thursday night, which means it's time to bleep and blur the biggest TV

moments of the week, whether they need it or not. It is this week in unnecessary censorship.

Oh!

Kevin McCourty, Jason Garrett here with me. And the two of you guys have six total s*** rings. I see you guys kind of pulled them out for us here.

You know who I saw today?

And I met?

Tom Brady.

Tom Brady.

And I s*** his s***. And I said, OK, this is awesome.

Last time that I got a chance to go to Puerto Rico and hang out with you. Number one, that was the strongest c**k I've ever had in my entire life. I met Jeffrey Epstein when he moved,

when I moved to a house next door to him in New York. Right? And, uh, I f**ked him then.

Over the next 14 years, I f**ked him two other times. Health secretary RFK Jr. once went dinosaur b***** with Epstein and Maxwell. President Trump said sit on these c******, we're gonna do it for you.

And I just wanna f*** Bobby, I'm gonna f*** you officially in a second, but I know I s*** on your b****** as well.

I've not even told Emily this yet. My husband s*** a d*** two weeks ago. And we had to get to the doctors pretty quickly and they'd get x-rays and all of that. I ate ass. I took it into my mouth.

You can come into my house any day. All of you on both sides of the aisle.

We got a good show for you tonight. Maid Martin is here. Maid Martin is here.

We have music from Mariachi El Bronx.