Trump's Pervy Epstein Bday Card Released & MAGA Allies Run Cover | The Daily Show

Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm Michael Kosta. We've got so much to talk about tonight, including the big developments in the Jeffrey Epstein scandal, aka the longest episode of To Catch a Predator Ever. So, let's get into it with our continuing coverage of the very normal and not shady handling of the Epstein files.

♪♪ It's pretty boring stuff.

You might remember back in July, The Wall Street Journal released a bombshell report that Trump had given Jeffrey Epstein a creepy birthday card that suggested the two of them had a dark sexual secret. Although obviously any sexual secret is a dark sexual secret. Although obviously any sexual secret is a dark sexual secret. No one's ever been like, don't tell anyone but I like missionary. Now of course Trump completely denied this card even existed and just to be sure they even asked the

woman who compiled all of Jeffrey Epstein's birthday cards and luckily

she had 20 years of free time. The message is compiled by Epstein's accomplice, Ghislaine Maxwell, currently serving a 20-year federal prison sentence for sex trafficking. In a recent interview, she told Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanch, the president's former lawyer, that she could not remember if Trump contributed

a message to the book.

Well, that sure is lucky for Trump, you know? He sent his deputy attorney general to privately talk with Ghislaine Maxwell while she's in a federal prison system he controls, and she doesn't remember anything incriminating about him?

Surprising. What a nice thing for her to say about the president without receiving anything in return, right?

Right?

Right? Right?

Maxwell recently receiving a highly unusual transfer to a minimum security prison just days after her interview with the DOJ.

Come on, guys.

Come on, did you have to do the quid pro quo that fast? You could have at least waited a week before you sent her to the prison with the fence you can just slide under. Look at this sign. What the f*** kind of prison has a sign like that?

Is this prison run by Texas Roadhouse? This looks like the sign for a church where the pastor plays an electric guitar. Also, Camp Brian? I think my parents took me there for vacation once when I was eight. That's the prison with the big water slide, right? I'm joking, it looks nice, but that place is brutal.

Room service stops at 10 p.m., so. So there you have it. The media says there's a letter. Trump's people say there's not. So I guess we'll never know who's telling the truth.

Breaking news. For the first time, we are seeing an image of the letter

signed by Donald Trump for Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday.

Okay, so we know who's telling the truth. But this is huge. Epstein's estate finally released the actual birthday card, and it's as creepy as you'd expect.

The drawing shows the outline of a woman's torso, breasts, and hips, with a message that reads, in part, we have certain things in common, Jeffrey, and later, enigmas never age. Before the closing words,

happy birthday, and may every day be another wonderful secret.

The future president's signature is a squiggly Donald below her waist, mimicking pubic hair.

Oh!

Okay, okay. I know what we're all thinking. That's an excellent drawing, and... I think Donald Trump might have a wonderful future as an artist. Look, now obviously that's a crappy drawing, but as a student of history, one thing I've learned is when a certain type of person dreams of being a great artist, we should encourage that instead. Now... -♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo ♪

Even without the drawing, that is a strangely cryptic birthday card, no? Enigmas never age. There's a wonderful secret. Although, to be fair, it could be totally innocent. We have certain things in common.

Could mean anything. What are the things that we know about Epstein? He was a human trafficker. He was a pedophile. It could be any of those things. And I see why Trump's people deny that this card even existed. But now that we've all seen it, there's nothing left for them to do except continue to deny it.

The White House this morning flatly denying the president drew or signed the message.

The president did not write this letter. He did not write this letter. He did not sign this letter.

From what I see, it's not a signature. I've seen Donald Trump sign a million things.

This doesn't look like his signature to you?

Nope. I can tell you my father does not sketch out cartoon drawings.

Okay, okay.

Hey, I'll give Eric Trump a pass. He has no way of knowing what a birthday card from his father would look like. -♪♪ But they're saying it's not Trump's signature. If only we had one, two, I don't know, one million examples of his signature that we could compare it to.

The far left is the birthday book signature. The one in the middle is a Trump signature from a 1999 letter to Larry King. And on the right is from a signed letter

to Rudy Giuliani in 2001.

Or these from 1984 in a letter to the New York Times, 1995 to a Palm Beach official, 2014 in a note

to Keith Olbermann.

There's even an inscription in a Trump book that Epstein owned from 1997.

You'll see all the basic shapes are exactly the same.

Yes, yes, I see. So if you look at the angle of the downward arc on the capital D, you can see that you don't have to do any of this shit, it's his signature.

Well, it's his signature. It's his.

It is funny how they're fact-checking one piece of evidence with another piece of evidence. Like, these guys are like, if you look closely, Trump's signature on a birthday card to his pedophile best friend matches his signature on a note he wrote to his pedophile best friend. So we have his signature on this letter.

It matches the signature on all of these other letters. Can you please just admit he signed the letter? Please, just admit it. Do what's right. I'm begging you.

About the Epstein case, would the White House support a professional handwriting expert review of the document released yesterday to prove that it's not the president's signature?

Sure, we would support that. And in fact, I have already seen many forensic analysts of signatures coming out. I believe it was the Daily Signal that published a piece with three separate signature analysts who said that this absolutely was not the president's authentic signature.

Yes, no. Yes, I think we have a photo of the signature analyst who said this wasn't Donald Trump's. It's a credible source. It's a credible source. This is actually embarrassing for you guys. Just denying it at this point is not enough. Does anyone in the GOP want to help Trump out here? Congressman Burchett?

I mean, anybody can do a signature. We've seen the auto pen's been used quite a bit with the Biden administration.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Go from the signature to the auto pen to Joe Biden. But I bet you can get there quicker, though. Sure, these girls were underage, but you know who was overage? Joe Biden. Boom, did it.

Okay.

So they... so they can't come up with a credible excuse. But the truth is, Trump can probably still wiggle out of this thing as long as new information stops coming up. A second entry in the Epstein birthday book

released yesterday appears to mention Donald Trump as well. The page was reportedly compiled by a member at Mar-a-Lago who included a photo of Epstein and others holding up a giant fake check purportedly from Trump to Epstein for $22,500. The attached letter jokes that the check was payment

for a deal in which Epstein sold Trump a quote, fully depreciated woman in 2003.

Wow.

I am shocked and frankly disgusted that Joe Biden's auto pen did this also. But this is why.

This is why. This is why.

Trump was such a notorious creep that other people were mentioning it in their birthday cards. I've never gotten a birthday card that was like, happy birthday, Michael. Remember our high school gym coach who always let the girls have lunch in his office? That was crazy. Anyways, here's to another 40 more years, pal.

Look, I'm not going to pretend that I completely understand whatever this gross inside joke is supposed to mean. All I know is it's very disrespectful to refer to someone as a fully depreciated woman. The correct term is a refurbished woman pro max 13. But this whole Epstein birthday book has made me realize two things. One, this convicted sex predator got way nicer birthday cards than I've ever received in my entire life.

I'm not a fan of the content, but you can't deny his friends put some real effort into it. On the way to my birthday dinner, my wife makes me stop at Walgreens so she can buy me a card. Sometimes it's not even a birthday card. Oh thank you I will have a great first communion. The second thing I realized is Trump is playing this thing all wrong. If he just admits that he wrote this card everyone could move on and then he could do one of his favorite things of all time, find a way to make some money out of it.

You've seen stories about Donald Trump's perfect birthday card to Jeffrey Epstein. And thanks to the new Trump greeting card collection, you can send an equally perfect card for all of life's milestones. Congratulate the graduate in your life

with the message, your future is bright, unlike our dark and hideous past. Complete with a woman's body with pubic hair. And get ready for Mother's Day with a card that tells her, here's to a mom who did it all, including things that God can never know.

And don't forget the pubic hair. And for the somber moments, we have comforting messages like, I'm so sorry for the death of your pedophile father. And for added respect, these cards have twice the pubic hair. So no matter the occasion, pick a card from the Trump collection and make America greet again.

Donald Trump denies the existence of these cards. Donald Trump denies the existence of these cards. He's suing you for $10 billion.