Uncensored Roast ft. Rahul Dua, Kaustubh, Onkar, Shreya, Vivek| 𝗔𝗻𝗱𝗵𝗮 𝗣𝘆𝗮𝗮𝗿 𝟮.𝟬 | 𝗭𝗲𝗲𝟱 | Locker Room

Guys, silence. I have some questions for you.

Then he's the one.

The first time somebody said that you're funny.

It's like a therapy session.

And then dad says, I can't do anything.

You guys get your show filled with people who are blind. Today we got the same form filled with all of them.

Every time I'm in a relationship, I've told my family.

Do you tell your family?

I've told them a lot.

Who is this?

He was so cute.

Bonjai.

Bonjai.

I was telling Gaurav Kapoor that it's a peep show. You have to put a 2 euro coin in the window. And then you have to watch. Worst part. As soon as I turned around,

there were 7 guys standing behind me. To avoid being fat. Is there something that you guys miss about being single? I think now it has become more convenient for us, for our families. I don't think I miss anything about being single.

I miss my bare wrists.

We are talking about two points. Hindi G5 and old blind people.

But that's why you are G5.

He is everyone's friend, he is no one's friend.

I hate you. For real. I am not your friend. 5-1 Hey! Hey! Hey! He is everyone's friend, he is no one's friend This is how a love story is Correct

I hate you

For real?

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

Loyalty or Lust?

You Lust

I am lusting over his loyalty

He is running a show called I am Not Bad

So?

Who got the medal? Hello guys, welcome to another episode of Men's Locker Room. Today's episode will be a little special because today we are getting to you a comedy roundtable.

Please welcome the newest couple in town, Kaustubh and Vivek.

Oh, okay. God is there. God is there, man.

One minute.

Why?

We had three and a half rounds.

The lovebirds, Shreya and Unkar

The older couple

Yes

And the older comic Rahul Dua

Oh wow

Hello guys welcome to Men's XP How are you feeling today?

Feeling great

But why did you say Rahul bhai is older?

Because he is in the OG list

In OG, O is not older

Older G

Older G

Let's start with one question

Do you remember that

Don't you ask questions directly? Tell us the male ego

What is male ego?

Kaustubh told us

How we are on TV and how we are

It's the same thing again

Nothing has changed Is it an organisation behaviour thing? Ego, Id, Ego

Okay no, it's not 7S

Okay okay

Okay sorry, please continue

I would love to know how did the five of you meet each other?

I met Rahul bhai in 2018 We both met together

But you met him earlier when you went to see Jiveshu sir's show

Jiveshu sir's show. Jiveshu was... Bro, I messaged him in 2017. He must still have his old Instagram. You had put it on Instagram and Facebook. By blurring my photo. More obviously, sir.

Right?

Oh!

You were opening Jiveshu's bar. And you were getting a lot of kills. But it was a tough room. So I messaged you and you were like, you f**ked it up and you messaged me saying, so sweet

these messages keep me... I was the maid my day

I made my day

It was nice

How did you meet each other? I met Postup when I went to do the mic he was getting down from the metro and I was walking on the road So I had to ask him Where is Hudson Lane?

So I asked him what is he doing in Hudson Lane He said it's an open mic So I told him it's an open mic

And he had Very thin spikes He came straight from the village that day And he had this thing And I was like,, I could see the light that he will cut it

and it will be cut properly and and a tight t-shirt

Alola's Aaha Bank

Yes

Tight t-shirt

and the buckle band

Buckle band

Like there is a separate buckle that rotates

and he would show the buckle

in the film

I am sorry that you didn't meet him at that time No I don't even remember this face When you went to Comicstan Yes, correct After Comicstan, the first open mic I did was this Alode and Hudson Lin's one

Yeah, yeah

It happens only once in a lifetime

Roshni, what about you?

I was with Rahul at the time when the playground was opened

Correct

Yes

We did our first show

We did the first show I hosted it I hosted the first show

I met you there I remember from that week

We all met by mistake

And that mistake was Kostu

No but we met in Mumbai

Mumbai for the first time Long back I used to do a show in Hooted once I used to manage that

Kijas Musa

No no Pradeep Kumar I used to manage the show. Hijaz Moosa? No, no.

Pradeep Kumar.

The one who runs the Cat Cafe.

Yes, the one who runs the Cat Cafe. I used to manage the show. I used to manage the show. I used to manage the show.

I used to manage the show. figured out that our calling is comedy we have to do something about it we started getting some money I think we got 500 rupees from the time we got the open spot and then 5000 what was the first amount you earned through comedy?

first amount

me and Solanki did a show

for 2500-2500 rupees I got 123 rupees, Khushagran gave me the open spot I got 523 it was 900s wow, 123 rupees I got Rs. 100, Khushagran gave me an open spot I got Rs. 523 Rs. 123 I got Rs. 900

Oh, Rs. 123

My first cash was a book

A book?

Which I won in open mic in Bombay So I got a book as a winner

Of a cat

Cat? Cat? Go study

Go study

By the way, you know that I'll pass FFS, right?

So? He's just coming back from his studies By the way, you know that FMS will pass, right? So?

He's very nice

Yes, he's a good person

I just want to tell He'll pass, he'll study Yes, he doesn't need it

Humility

Yes, that's it

I knew it

And I'm a mechanic, I'll study

I used to set an example with my parents They cleared FMS and now they're doing comedy So, like this I was like, oh, he has gone there He said, he cleared his FMS first You also do FMS and then

What went wrong?

Vinash Kalevi got praised

Vinash Kalevi got praised

Like in comedy Like everyone's career arc Goes with ups and downs And in between there are many moments It's a valley Ebbs and flows basically So, many times there are moments like this It's a valley Yes, it's a valley Maybe Okay, ebbs and flows basically

So, there are moments like this where you do lose a little hope Okay, faith is a little

I had uploaded YouTube shots I cried that day I uploaded a YouTube shot I was joking for 3 years And I got 1.50 rupees on that Right, for the whole YouTube shot

I was so shocked I got 1 rupee for a YouTube shot So that means your shot was 300k plus

1.5 rupees less

So I got a lot of money

1 rupee

1.5 rupees

What are you talking about?

I had a 300k shot so I got 1.83 rupees So if you get 1.5 rupees your shot is very good

I should have talked to you before I haven't done a single rupee till date He started cursing on a YouTube shot and deleted all the shots

After that no one is picking up the phone

So you never crossed a thought that maybe comedy is not for me Yes I think I have and still sometimes we have crossed all those milestones

that we shouldn't leave it we can get over it

They can come to the channel because all had a plan and a career. Other than stand-up. I never got it. Because this is the first thing I am doing in life. So what should I do? B.Tech was also from a good college.

His job was also very good in Start Plus.

He is also a Simdi.

He is also a Simdi.

He is also a Simdi He is saying this is also a Simdi This is also a Simdi

Shehzad was going to go on IAS

But I studied

I used to open the first page and read the preamble I remember that I never studied NCERT after that

It takes time to remember the syllabus

My father used to say

that to clear UPSC

you should remember the syllabus SoSC You should remember the syllabus first So kids used to remember the syllabus Basically growing up

Who did you look up to in terms of comedy?

I remember Lalu Prasad He used to give great speeches Yeah yeah yeah I think Raju Srivastav also Laughter challenge used to come up a lot So Raju Srivastav

He was very dominant at that time What about you guys? Do you guys find anybody funny in Bollywood?

Not Bollywood but there was a Haryanvi artist named Narendra Balara and he had a lot of movies like Haryanvi Ramayan

which were very funny There are a few sequences in Bollywood I like John Leaver's a lot

Yes, he's good

He looks very crazy Rahul bhai toh dekha hai Historically ko jyada khas pasand nahi tha Abhi off lit

Jo kamal Sunil Brogad kar rakha hai

Oh bhai

Killer

Abhi jo Sunil Brogad jitni consistency se Laga kaha episode after episode Wo pel rahe hain Mujhe nahi lagta ki itni consistency se kabhi kisi ne State of the art performances diye hai

Lose tox me jo state of the art performances And he was in depth talk character He used to do that consistently And apart from that I didn't see anyone else

If I ask you a hypothetical question If you had the power to either be funny You know for life You could either be funny off stage or on stage What would you pick?

This is like a question of Tenali Raman Who is the most stupid? Tenali Tenali Who is the most stupid? Who is the most stupid? Who is the most stupid? Who is the most stupid? Who is the most stupid? Who is the most stupid? Who is the most stupid?

Who is the most stupid? Who is the most stupid? Off stage or on stage? What will you pick? On stage. That gets you money. If you want to be on stage,

I think off stage we need to put in some money.

We can do a 10 hour show. No need to hang out with anyone.

Have you ever brought a funny off stage guy on podcast?

No.

You have said the same thing about Tinali Ram.

We don't have any advantage that we enjoy sitting in the drawing room with Dua. It's not worth it. We have to buy a ticket for 800. To enjoy Dua. No, no. Early bird.

By the way, are you envious of anyone in the comedy scene?

Rahul bhai.

Oh no.

Early bird 800.

800 only.

I will get my final 10 tickets. I have written that too.

Please. My final 10 tickets will be there I have written that too Please

Are you envious of somebody in the comedy scene?

Not envious

I feel like if I can do this

Sparda bhaav

It will be great

Inspiration maybe

Kanan Gill

Oh

He writes very fast and good jokes And the one who zooms out, takes a bird's eye view and tells the whole story. He's a great...

If a person can write in 5 minutes on a hand sanitizer,

he can do anything.

I met him about, I think, 3 months back and he said that I don't have a show right now. I don't even have 5 minutes. And now he's on tour, as we speak. And that is his phone solo. That is his phone. And if you see his solo special, he talks about such things that I feel like,

this level... How many hours of meditation will I have to do daily?

By the way, who all are in a relationship on this table? I know that you guys are married of course.

Rahul is married.

I am a very strong relationship.

Are you both in a relationship?

With each other.

With each other, so yes. Of course. By the way, Omkar, Rahul and Shreya, this question is for you guys. Before marriage, did you guys go on bachelorette trips?

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.

So, what type of bachelorette trips were they?

I mean, I went to Thailand and...

Boy!

By the way, Shreya, were you comfortable with him going to Thailand? I know him as a person and I know all these friends also I was worried about Kaustubh that he might go to the wrong place I have full faith in my man

Kaustubh's man and

the rest of the girls

are also in love with Kaustubh

We couldn't go to a strip club

You couldn't? Why?

You don't have to go to Thailand

I got different information Omkar, for that matter Omkar never went to any strip club.

But we went to a strip club.

and we reach by 8.55.

And we reach by 8.50. He was there for 8 hours. He was there from the top. He was there for 8 hours to open the strip club. He came here at 3.30.

Capacity to love someone.

He was wearing a costume. He was talking like this.

And the strip club has a video game parlor. I was playing FIFA and I saw that there were 5-6 people like me. The rest of the people were...

No, we had a lot of fun. I met some Indians there and I said, I must have seen you. I clicked a photo. We could have become friends. I told them not to show the strip club. Show the McDiwendy.

This is what happened This is what happened

You were there?

No, I'm talking about Amsterdam No, no, there's a ticket for 800 It's my first Europe trip and I got Gaurav Kapoor So he told me Dua, you should go to the red light area

I said yes, I have to go I mean, once

I'll go by car

I'll go by car. Yes, you'll go by car.

Okay?

If you go to Lucknow, you won't eat the plotting?

Yes, I won't.

So, I didn't have to do anything. Okay? Neither did I have to see it, nor did I have to do it. Okay? But Gaurav Kapoor said, Bro, there's a peep show.

Peep show. So, she kept doing something inside and I said, don't look at you. I said, it's only 2 dollars, nothing more. She put it in. And he was saying that he keeps moving around like a hexagon.

The one that kids have, tap tap tap and it opens.

The kaleidoscope. Sometimes yours closes, sometimes yours opens. And inside there is this woman who is not wearing anything and she is not doing also anything. You just see. You just see. Just 15 seconds and then your window will close. And when the door will open, you'll see.

This is the program. It runs for 5 minutes. So I saw it and I found it very boring. I was like, what is this?

2 Euros wasted.

Worst part. As soon as I turned back, there were 7 boys standing behind me.

They were saying, Dua is a big fan.

I said, Dua... He was peeping at you, he was peeping at you I was like, Gaurav Kapoor said I don't feel like sitting here He said, he said, I'm betting on him It was really bad

So Onkar, what do you think?

Yes, I also went

Where did you go?

We went to the strip club

No, no, we went to Alibaug Booked a nice villa, had a nice pool We saw something on TVF We saw that and cried We laughed and played games We put on sunscreen

Basically

Basically he will lose his trip

No we had all the emotions But that was a nice heart

We had a heart fed conversation

It was wholesome We felt all kinds of emotions We even bitched

Should I tell you how?

Tell me When we were going to the strip club We had anticipation Like, bitching was also.. We did too. Should I tell you how? Tell us.

When we were going to the strip club, we had anticipation.

We went there,

a little excitement, then disappointment. Five stages of grief,

through..

After seeing her, the stripper put sunscreen.

By the way, Shreya and Unkar, you guys were friends, right? For a long time. And then you guys sort of got into a relationship. So, who pursued who? Unkar, you.

How did you manage to get out of the friend zone? Because it's very difficult for him to get out.

I mean, we're still friends.

Yeah.

I mean...

But it's like a girl makes a plan that he's my male friend. Okay? And he's a bad ass. I would have made it clear that he is my male friend and this is my boyfriend It was not in our desire There was a tension between us We both had a crush on each other

But we didn't want to do it

You know that

We are in the same industry so we didn't want to do it We were scared because our friend circle was the same If we date and he doesn't go anywhere then Shreya will have to leave her friend or something like that

I had told him If he doesn't go anywhere, then Shreya will have to leave her friends.

That marriage is marriage and nothing else. So you weren't scared of this conversation? Like a lot of guys in the first phase of dating, when things get a little serious, they run away.

How is that?

He's a man so I don't think so.

He's scared of running away.

He's scared of running away. I don't know about this but I always feel that if you like someone and you want to marry her, marriage is a function in between but I am for life.

Okay, so I have a question for all the men on the table, not boys. How do you know that you have fallen in love?

I don't know.

I feel like my whole body drops from inside and my body stays still. I feel like I'm drop dead.

Oh my God.

I'm saying it in a positive way.

I'm a faithful type.

Haryana is also John Elia bro.

This is so good as shit.

But that is actually a very romantic answer.

Muafza Elia. Sorry.

Muafza Elia.

Muafza Elia.

What about you Rahul? Maaf se le liya. Always with the puns man.

Aisa toh mujhe nahi feel hua. Main aapko bataun.

Bhai, woh 10 years married hai.

Yaar, but unko feeling toh yaad hogi. I would expect ke...

Aap toh...

Ek minute. Kisi ko Rahul bhai ka 25 year wala era yaad hai ka? kaagde jaane wale the yeh baat ke comedy club mein aaye the yeh bahi tha

yeh bahi tha

drop that after

yeh story sunao toh Noida mein Nidhi Noida rehati thi us time aur Noida mein hi Canvas Laugh Club kula tha us time pe toh mai Gurgaon se Noida jaa karta tha jab aise Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday I have to perform for 5 days in a row So I thought If we are going, we should meet madam

So I used to go early in the morning That we have gone there She was doing her work from home So we were meeting, eating, talking Time spent

Right?

So And her brother used to go to office She and her brother used to stay in the flat So he used to come at 6.00 Because he used to play basketball at 6.15 in the society downstairs So I used to time it like this

5.55 I am out

Okay

That day what happened was I was a little tired I slept a little and I slept a little more And I got up I had kept the time in such a way that I would be ready and leave in the middle of the night

and I would have a pee in the middle of the night I would have that problem So basically I was tying the shoe lace of my other shoe and it would ring for two hours Now for two hours either the owner of the house rings or the maid And no one has the audacity to ring the bell for two hours

That's a f**king good joke So I found out that the maid didn't have time There is no audacity to make a 2 hour boyfriend

So I got to know that there is no time for maid and brother has come early today

Was he an elder brother?

Younger, 2 years younger

But brother is a brother

Basketball player

Basketball player

His 10 friends are standing below

Oh

They are making fun of me

Both were panicking and I told Nidhi

Nidhi listen

Let's handle it like adults

Let's meet him,

confront, whatever. Let's have this conversation and then I will walk out. Nidhi panicked. I said, no, no, no. Hide, hide.

Hide. Bollywood, hide, hide.

Okay?

I said, where to the balcony. I'll cover the front.

Oh fuck.

I said okay. I went to the balcony. And she covered the front. And our deal was that as soon as Nidhi opened the door I'll dash for the door

and I'll leave.

I didn't know. I've never been to the balcony. I don't have any balcony is common Oh! Common as in which living room or comfortable? And there is a bathroom in between So I, in my endeavour of being as far away from Nidhi's room as possible I am going more close to brother's room

Is this Museum of Illusion? Balcony is common 1.5 BHK No, 2 BHK

Oh, so they were caught in his brother's room Oh So they were caught in his brother's room And Nidhi came and asked, what are you doing?

What a good side kick

Which is a great end to the story

However

There was a bathroom between the two rooms And while moving away I was hiding in front of the bathroom This While moving away, I was hiding in front of the bathroom. This is the bathroom. I was hiding in front.

I was waiting for the door to open.

As soon as it opened,

Bhai came and talked to Nidhi. And he went to pee.

He got saved.

No, no.

When he was peeing,

he saw a silhouette outside the window.

Oh!

So, he came and said, Nidhi, there's someone at home.

Nidhi said,

I know.

He'll leave.

So he went to his room.

As soon as you open the door, I'll run away.

So Nidhi, open the door and explain it to me. Before that?

Before that, I ran away.

Apartment.

Apartment is on the 9th floor. Apartment is on the 9th floor.

And then?

What's the lift's weight? No, the lift didn't come. I was climbing the stairs. I was running. I reached the 7th floor. Nidhi shouted.

Listen, he has seen it He has seen it

Who has seen what? What has he seen?

Brother, you were caught in that brother's trap

Have you guys ever been caught in such situations in life? I'll tell you So, we were together that day And my landlord was with his wife. They are like old, tall and we have a friend Rupali and her husband Rahul. So they are tall structurally and Rupali has short hair.

So our landlord and landlady look the same. So they are sitting outside and I am talking to them. Ongkar thought it was Rupali and Rahul. So Ongkar came dancing and as soon as Ongar came dancing And when we saw him He stopped there And we thought he will address us

But he is not addressing us He saw us and ran away

He was barefoot and ran away

So we thought we will ignore him And we continued Then he said let's go and see the terrace This is his terrace We went and he saw us It was go and see the terrace This is his terrace We went He saw In the hot sun

It's the month of June In the hot sun

He started doing all this

Naked, barefoot

And they also said

We don't want to see this We'll just do this

And leave

This is Vinod's carnavy prism

Exactly

Anywhere fitness

Anywhere fitness And even after that He met him I have been to the gym. I have been to the gym. I have been to the gym. I have been to the gym. I have been to the gym.

I have been to the gym. I have been to the gym.

I have been to the gym.

I have been to the gym. But you knew about his house? He has a lot of... Who is this?

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Who is this man?

So cute.

Bonsai. Bonsai.

He's a bonsai.

So my cousin was coming to stay at our house. He said we're coming. I thought he must be coming because we mean we. And I went he must be coming because we means we and I went to show I left and said everything is sorted

Omkar was at home, so I thought he will come we are coming, he brought my aunt as in we all he didn't say we all are coming and Omkar is wearing shorts he opened the door

yes, who did you meet?

he started talking it was a microsecond He opened the door. Yes, who did you meet? Yes, yes. He immediately... He immediately put a hookah there.

It was just a microsecond that his brother climbed to the second floor. And then from behind, aunt was coming like this.

Oh my!

Oh God, what a presence of mind you used that day.

I told him, come sit. And I have ordered tea. Shreya had asked me to open the gate for you. I have opened it. The cups must be here somewhere. You can see them.

It's your house.

Beautiful.

Nice.

Beautiful.

I got down in my pyjamas.

Fantastic.

And scene.

Great. Very good.

And then you stayed at Madhur's house for 3 days in pyjamas.

Yes, exactly.

Nice.

But you guys.. Restraint has been practiced. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I've learnt a little. I was getting a little free with my dad. So we started talking. I told him that I'm going to Ooty with my girlfriend. And on the first day, he said, it's okay, no problem.

In the morning, he woke up and said, you're not going anywhere. I said, I've't go anywhere, get married. Either get married today and leave. You can't go anywhere. I said, what a flip man. We are talking about tomorrow. He is a good man. He spoke to his mother last night.

Fathers don't understand. I don't understand.

He will make you work.

This is him.

There was an emotional story. There was a big fight in the house. You'll get your face cut off That's what happened But you know what happened next I had to be emotional So I had a big fight at home What is this? I had a ticket I could have lied to you You trapped me by telling the truth

I was pissed off I got angry and said I'll come tonight I'm not in my senses I reached at 1 am I had to leave the next day

I said, it's okay, you can go but be careful, we might get insulted and I said, okay, I went to Ooty and when I opened my bag there were new underwear because my old underwear

were torn so I was so scared I cried a bit I cried a bit because they knew that if they wore torn underwear and opened it he would be insulted. Brother.

It was very emotional. Family.

Father, you had

accepted him as your brother.

Yes, I had.

You had accepted him

as your friend.

Very emotional scene, ma'am.

Brother, the wingman

that you have become

Proper. Oh, is this where you got your inspiration? Andha Pyaar ki? Andha Pyaar ki? Kacche. Waise aap log apne show Andha Pyaar pe jo Hindi Zee5 pe aara uspe toh aap karte hi ho yeh wale forms usre logon se fill karvaate ho. Aaj humne in sabse hi wala form fill karvaaya hai. Isme ek form main in particular nikalungi.

Wo hai Vivek Samtani ka.

Wow. 3, 2, 1 Oh, okay What's the most impulsive decision you've taken because you were attracted to someone?

Wow

And the brother has written

Decided to make them meet my parents

Wow

What was your scene?

In my last relationship, my family was forcing me to get married because In Sindhi, marriage happens a little early And my girlfriend was very unsure about me so I found a way that if I introduce her at home she'll think that

our relationship is going well and my parents will think that if she's with someone then the marriage will be delayed and I introduced her and then my mom and she

started hitting me

when I was getting married so I just

added one more person to their team who became more important than me

It was a lot of trouble

It was a lot of trouble Surprisingly one thing is very bad about my mom which I would like to say, she is perfect She still talks to my exes and my mom is like

if the son survived, why did he do this?

My mom is a girl. What is the most toxic thing that you guys have done? What is the most toxic thing you have done? I am not a toxic person but I... I got to know that my boyfriend was lying to me at that time. So I called his mom And I asked him for the proof

Because he was saying he was in the office but he wasn't

You were like, bring your parents along

No, I just wanted to prove my point So I called his mom Which was crossing a line I made him feel demeaned I think that was the most toxic thing that I've done

Aww, that's sweet

But I don't regret it

I don't regret it

I did one thing

Rahul bhai asked me

What?

What did you do?

What did you do?

The most toxic thing

I did it

I don't know what is toxic So I'll tell you You tell me if it was toxic or not I had a doubt But I didn't check his phone or Facebook message

Somehow

On my laptop His Facebook was locked in So I checked And my doubt was proved right So is this toxic behaviour?

No, this is a divine intervention

Yes, this is a divine intervention If a car gets stuck outside the police station, it's not your fault.

Okay, okay. But, I felt sad that I don't know how to cry.

Oh.

So, I felt that my love might have ended long ago.

You went into detective mode.

Yes.

You brought the sad dog along.

Subconscious also gives signals. You start feeling it somewhere. Because this feeling is not natural. The feeling of being shocked is not natural.

Maybe she intentionally left the lockdown

so that you can find her and get makeup done.

Yes.

This happened to me.

That is the most toxic thing she had done then.

Yes, agreed.

I have never thought of this. It's been 10 years.

What if she wanted to leave the lockdown?

Now think with your son

So when I found out that I have been cheated very badly So now she has reached MBA college And I have done MBA I know that the first 3 weeks

are very tough She won't have time to fight So I said I have to fight with respect Properly So I used to run a meme page

Null hypothesis

Null hypothesis

Thanks brother I think it was a very good page I mean I unfollowed you

But that page Thank you

Coolest page

So after 3 weeks He told me that he got some time So we can talk today I said okay You eat, till then I am sending some memes. You see if it's funny or not.

Those were not memes, those were screenshots of her chat. So I sent that. And then her sad phone.

This is toxic.

This is a little toxic. I will say it.

Let's bring the border. I think we should bring the border. But of course she was wrong She was doing it wrong So it's not toxic

For her MB preparation I cleaned her room And got a table set up So that she can lie down in this room

Hug her

And in that room Come here once

Come here

Quiet

Come here

It's fine guys

Hello Why are you giving her carbs?

Here take this

Little hearts

No man Why are you giving him a tissue? Here, take this little heart. This big heart. Break this little heart in half. No, no, no.

Have it.

Thank you for supporting us.

But it happened for a reason.

Yes, yes.

This is how God protects you. That my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. I found out in a very randomly mysterious way.

You can support someone who is sad.

How did you know? How did you know?

I randomly

One thing went wrong with me When I went on a break with my wife So when I came back My phone got checked That happens Like you go to jail

All your clothes get checked

Do phones get checked?

Mine do

Everyone has a different world The problem is I sent a message to one person and the other person didn't get the message.

So, when he saw that I was disrespecting him,

he wanted to punch me but I couldn't.

That was the most embarrassing

moment of my life. Look, send a hi to him. I am with you.

But I love the chemistry that you guys all have If I ask you that During the filming of Andha Pyaar Whenever the shoot happens here What has been the most funnest experience Amongst all of you

Invoice

I have a point

You guys are getting paid or just...

Nice, but do you remember any contestant... who you enjoyed doing a show with? Or a contestant who had a lot of shock value?

I think the one who came in JD.

JJ was a good one.

JJ's work. I think in girls...

Shambhavi's episode was good. I feel like after doing that I realised that how good girls are That's when they leave the course But I feel in contestants some people were good

You are not talking about the one you said

You went to get spanked by someone.

Don't talk about that.

No, no.

What are you doing?

We are talking about 2.0 which is coming on Hindi G5.

Fair enough. But that's why G5 people came. One spank and we got 3.0. You called us a**holes. now you are calling us f**kers. In Hindi. In Hindi.

Do you remember any anecdote?

Any story?

Blind love? Is it related?

Yes.

Tell us a story.

It's crazy, we have read a form. Tell us something absurd. Once a boy came as a contestant and he had a girlfriend.

Yes, that was the best.

He was in the audience.

No, no.

He was dating her.

He came as a contestant.

And the guy caught him in the audience. He said, she's Antony's girlfriend.

That's juicy.

And the best part was that he kept fighting till the end that she's not his girlfriend. And we asked him, this photo on your Instagram, is she your girlfriend? He said, talk to the next person for a while, I'll think and tell you. So basically, he was supposed to believe that he was dating his dating for a long time and he was in the process of creating content

so his girlfriend asked him to try for a while and see what happens

I think the definition of love of this generation has changed a lot

Yeah, but they are more mature I think the next generation of our generation would find...

No, they have more options

They are more mature than me

But they feel stability is something that we aspire No, I think to... They are more mature than me. But like the...

feel stability is something that we aspire. I mean they feel like...

People have made legal loopholes. We were in a roster dating situation. My lord.

What did you say?

I don't understand.

I thought they are there on the roster. Yes, roster dating is like they are dating each other but Shreya is talking to other people so they are on the roster We are not exclusive

Vivek and Kaustubh are dating

and Vivek's roster has other people

No, we are not exclusive

Kaustubh's roster has other people

But this casual dating

which was there earlier

or open relationship we was there or open relationship

shift all that open relationship also Yes, it's called open relationship

Neech and Gareech do a lot of things

My point is that it's not simple Even if they're exploring at the age of 19-20 that's better If you fuck up now and at 27-28 you have the Sure, sure

I think 27 is not an age parameter that you have to settle up to here I mean you have to settle with yourself.

Even if you are 20 or 27. If they have plenty of options, they can explore and find something. They won't settle. People in our generation are still settling.

It works both ways. If you are too much of an explorer,

you will settle. You feel there is something better out there but actually it doesn't. There's not fish in the sea. I mean, it's not just that.

There's a lot of garbage too. I think it will always seem like it could have been better.

Yes.

But the Pareto principle is very successful there. 80% of the men

don't get 20% of the woman. I am not saying that. I am saying that to achieve perfection you always go out.

Yes, 80-20 rule is there.

But not in the way you have absorbed 80-20. I am saying that the car doesn't run at 100%. If it is running at 80% then I have a flaw of 20%.

I think relationship is all about growing together with each other.

Learning.

It's not about finding something better.

It's about feeling something better The attraction or love on day 1

will be different on day 100

Maybe the attraction will be less and the love will increase So it's a journey in process

But 20% of the men get 80% of the women

What is this?

You have flipped it again

No, no, it happens 80-20 is the same 80-20 is the same but it doesn't mean anything. If you had said yes, would you have been wrong? Yes, I would have cut two fish on the edit.

Yes, absolutely right answer.

But okay, like in this game show, there is one thing where you guys have wingman and wingwoman. For the contestant.

If you have to choose one wingman or wingwoman from this yourself, who would you choose? Let's start with Omkar.

Kaustubh.

Kaustubh.

For life.

I mean, he helps me a lot.

He does hype up. I think mine...

Yes, yes.

I mean, at one point I thought that Kaustubh likes him.

Yeah, I was very...

I was crying.

Why did I cry? I was like, does he want to get married? He was crying at the time of our wedding and I was wondering why he was crying so much

I found it so weird because Shreya's family was crying Shreya sat down and I was sitting on this side and there was a lot of booze in my car so I was looking for my brothers to get rid of the booze and Shreya's suitcase would come

so I was confused at that time Bhaari gale ke saath Theek hai phir Ma bhai Tu meri side se saadi mein aaya hai Agar tu ro raha hai Iska matlab tu Shreya ke meri life mein aane se dukhi hai Shreya ke side se nahi ro raha hai Aur phir aise ki Theek jo

Ma yeh mera baap aa raha hai Bhai, nahi nahi ro dali bina diya Like, hello, come here. But it was unexpected too. I didn't know. I didn't know.

That you were going to propose. No, that's why it was like, wow. Because of this, I would have done college in 5 years. I have a bond with him. We have known each other for 7 years. And I never thought he would get a girl.

But he did. And he...

He is a big man.

Jiggs never thought he'd get a girl.

He's the big man. He chooses.

He's the master man.

I'm not doing it.

You tell me.

I'll hype it up.

I think...

I'll make him look like he's 5'7".

What the fuck?

Is that possible?

It's possible. Yes, yes. I think... In shawl... What? Slippers...

I think if my girlfriend is having a fight... I'll make her talk to Kaustubh for 2 minutes. And Kaustubh says 2-3 lines... which are very emotional.

So, it's not right.

Wow, Kaustubh is getting side hustled.

I've also thrown Kaustubh out of many places. He was crying and I said it was just a break Yes, yes And you know, I said it was just a break I was caught, I was beaten up everywhere And as soon as I came to Delhi Bangalore, whatever happened As soon as I came to Delhi I came suddenly and I was listening to him

I have never seen such a scoundrel in my life I feel ashamed to call him my friend This has gone viral everywhere I was saying, why are you saying this? Then I realised that Shreya spoke to him.

And Shreya said,

You spoke to mom.

You spoke to mom.

Exactly.

Shreya cut all the feathers.

But I want to ask Rahul.

What?

Rahul. Because he has more experience than us. In the world. And when we saw him, he was like He had game man. He cut his beard so well that he didn't have emoticons on his face. He had a beard. What else do you need?

Emotions. Emoticons.

Emoticons also detect emotions. So who do you choose as your wingman?

We show it like this. But or not So who do you choose, your wingman or wingwoman? That's how we show it

But tell me, what do you think? Who do you choose, your wingman or wingwoman?

I say Kaustubh

He does a lot of hype Sometimes he does so much hype that I feel that even this much of a joke is not good No, it's not like that

So we'll make Kaustubh has also made his own movie. For Kaustubh, 2 for 2. What about you Shreyas? Kaustubh again. He is such a good hype man. In every situation. So no doubt.

You go girl. He is a girl's girl also.

Even.

You should be a little scared of such a person.

The one who is close to everyone.

You should be a saying like this I hate you What are you? You are not my friend

Yes, I am

When Unkar filled this form We asked him a question If you could only ask a potential partner One question before dating them What would it be? And his answer is

What is your caste?

Because I always wanted to marry inter-caste By mistake, not of the same caste

So you're happy with the outcome?

Yes, because my parents had seen all the girls in Yadav

Do you have any non-negotiable?

If this quality was in your partner, you wouldn't have dated them

Religion partner, don't date them. Religion.

What about you guys? If it's unkind, then I think there's a point of dating.

Respect.

Disrespect.

Disrespect towards whom?

Towards anyone. Anyone.

If there's a fight, the way a person reacts, it changes a lot. If he respects you in a fight, the way a person reacts, it tells a lot.

If he respects you in a fight, it means he listens to you for a long time. How big of a f**k you are, it's the same.

No, bro.

How big of a f**k you are.

No, for example, on a date...

I'll tell you. If I have a fight, I tell him that let's talk. He's upset, so he didn't abuse. You talk about yourself. Yes, Adi. I have seen my friends throwing slippers at each other. Abusing the whole family. I have seen my friends.

I mean...

You are still abusing your friend.

No, I am not sitting here like this.

That's hot as f**k.

You know what it is.

Hot, right?

Hot.

It's hot.

Throw a sandal. If you're a sports fan, throw a stand-in. And to avoid that... Why are you wearing slippers and AC in your BDSM? Why is BDSM happening outside?

What BDSM is happening in public?

Bata ka chaata.

Yes, Bata ka chaata.

Bata ka chaata.

Nice. What about you, Rahul? Do you have a non-negotiable?

If there's a connected balcony.

With a balcony room. Nagini I have seen it with Kiran First get her to check Vastu

Give me a floor map

I have a lot of problems with hypocrisy

Oh yes

As a person I have a lot of problems with hypocrisy You were saying this day before yesterday Today you are doing this So if this happens then I feel No, this is fundamentally wrong

Mostly all girls are like this

Mismatch Yes, I feel like She will this is fundamentally wrong. Most of the girls are like this. Mismatch.

Yes, I feel that she will do this on small things.

But they can point out more things that they remember. If I meet a person and I talk to him for 5 years, he will remember everything. And if he does something on one point, I will forcefully correlate that he is wrong because I already hate him

But he might not be able to see hypocrisy in his partner Like he can't see hypocrisy in Shreya

But in the dating phase when you are evaluating 6-7-6-7 then you will be able to evaluate

What is valid?

That is he hypocrite or not?

I said something else in the first date and today he's doing something else.

That's fine. That man was a liar. Man? I'm telling you, if you're doing anything small for your partner, for men, because we forget a lot. I think I did something good and my girlfriend would ask me what I did for her.

And I would say I did it, I know I did it. Again, it's a human, it's a man trait where you will remember everything

but when your argument is over, you are blank.

We become like that animal.

But you know, it's a psychological concept that for example, in the to-do list there are 10 things you have accomplished 8, the ones you haven't done 2, your mind remembers only those 2 unfinished things.

That's Pare it was. For example, when comments are coming, good comments you will skim through it. But bad comments will be seen. That he called me a f**ker.

If you want to laugh, you should remember the username.

Yes.

Animesh1314.

But who writes this f**ker?

He said f**ker.

So I wrote f**ker.

Of course, it's written by Saeen.

What do you think?

You asked me one. I am telling you that I think boys should write what they have done well. Secondly, I think if I do anything for someone and it becomes

as you should rather than a simple thank you. That is what I feel is a very big thing.

But if you remember what you have done then in that work also you will get it counted

No, that's what I am saying You will get it counted Now you will get it counted You will do a big work I am not saying this I am saying if you did a work

suppose XYZ suppose Inco Flowers Passbook entry Yes, Passbook entry Simple as that

Passbook entry You said I did it. Right? Now, this also happens. So, should I dance? So, you're saying,

as soon as you do it, make a video of a thank you.

No, no, the thank you should come from there.

Yes, make a video of it.

Yes, I mean.

But is it a fair ask?

It should be this short.

It shouldn't be this short. So, what should I do?

I did it too. What should I do? You brought flowers. So during a fight... Because during a fight, you have a different relation.

And vice versa.

I understood that. But that fight... The fight is because of that. If they say, you don't make efforts for me. But when I make an effort...

This is the line spoken during a fight. That's why the fight didn't happen.

What kind of Miranda Rights is this? Which I don't know anything. Anything will not be used again in the code of law. There is a difference in a fight.

And that's how it is.

That is true.

I have seen that if you play the fight on emotions, you can win easily.

This is what manipulators think.

Exactly.

Is this less? What do you think of him?

He is sitting with his kundali.

He is tall.

He has 36 fingers. I mean, I don't know. I think that logic can't be taken in a fight. It's more about how she's feeling and how you're feeling.

You have to lose a fight.

I think both of us have the same thing. I just remembered that I had prepared for my mom and kids. I mean, in a fight...

You both...

Of course, Onkar was right. First, we have to be prepared.

And then we have to be ready. We won the whole thing I fought with him You fought with him

Of course, Onkar said it right First person to give in should be the guy

That's such a bad thing

Then it softens the woman's heart also Sorry, sorry, I said it extra

And then you

That's what Tyrants Feel like That you said sorry No, I don't believe in this

I don't believe in this

Sorry is more important as an effort

But then I start throwing sorry Okay, did you feel bad?

Yeah

Sorry

Then the value of sorry ends

But you enter like In Tarak Mehta

Background music

Sorry, sorry, sorry

Sorry, sorry, sorry Then talk to me. I think...

It started with a sorry. But now... When one sorry was enough... Now after that... You've said so many sorry. So now...

You're not getting anything with 1.5 lakh sorry. What will you do?

Apologise.

No, then after that...

Actions matter.

Don't punish me.

UGV sheet.

After that actions matter. Because a person can hold words up to a point but if your actions and words don't align

Then do I have to say sorry like this?

This one

Ma'am, I salute you I was the first one to say

I don't understand, how do you do this?

This is like a duck on honeymoon

What a story

Sorry

The most fun part of the fights is when you repeat their tone and do that. That makes women so f**king mad.

I love it. As I said before

he wants a man f**king. You continue to f**k.

Because you have in your mind that if I say this, my f**k will get f**ked.

But it's fun.

You're just like your mother. When did you meet her? I have a lot of fun in my house. But I have a lot of fun.

You are just like your mother. When did you meet her?

What is happening?

You must have fought.

You must have fought.

And you digress very quickly. You never fight on the matter.

You fight on something else.

How did you say this?

And sometimes you share something being vulnerable. If the other person is in that fight

then...

Correct.

I have done that many times. Sad.

As he said earlier, who is more of a leecher?

He is toxic. I mean, I don't think he will make friends at this age.

He is a leech.

This is not a problem.

This is our... By the way, what do you think? Which lies are okay to say in a relationship?

I have seen episodes like Harmless Lies. I haven't seen it. I will watch it with you. But you have seen it before.

And you watch it again.

Wow, that's cute.

That's love.

That's cute. That's love. That's cute. No, she's repeating.

What other lies did you say that you thought it's not a big deal?

I wasn't thinking about you. I'm like, when I need some personal space, I say I'm going to sleep.

And then I'll have my personal space.

I'm like that too.

Yes.

Harmless guys. I lied a little bit about my age. My house is on a different side of the village. And you could see farms 10-15 km away from there. So I grew up in that area. But in the last 5-6 years, houses started being built behind it. Or our building was built. Now you can't see anything from there.

But I used to tell Shreya that I can see a lot of farms from my house. And when she said that this is a school building

and she used to see a lot of fields on this building

so this was a lie

but this is also a cute lie

I am sure it won't be a deal breaker

that you won't see any fields

I said, this is such a big building and that too is ours

wow, I was so happy she said, thank god at least something was made Oh God! At least make something. I was worried. I haven't seen a development in 20 years.

He gave cement in dowry.

What type of lies did you tell?

Pure Bihari attitude.

I didn't lie much because... No, I didn't lie.

He was doing it right in life.

At least one or two things happen.

I mean, it will normal. Small lies.

You had a farm too.

No, not the farm.

Not the farm. But yes, like in the episode, I once did it. I said, Game of Thrones was big. Watch it quickly. I watched it.

Then I sat quietly.

I know that I'll die. I sat quietly. So, like this... Run zigzag.

Have you ever lied that you are at home but you went out?

Oh, damn.

My dad used to travel a lot in a car 20 years ago So he thinks that time is the same as now So he thinks that Malviya Nagar is still an hour away from my house In fact, it's half an hour away And Gurgaon is also 30 minutes away But he thinks it's 1.5-2 hours So whenever I tell him that I'm in Gurgaon

He says, okay, so it will take 2 hours Yes, it will take 2 hours

He didn't lie, he said yes and. Yes and. That's not a lie then.

And then I chill for another hour.

Sometimes I feel like, if I miss my gym, and I'm coming back from a 3 day trip, I feel like I've landed at the airport at 7.30, I'll come back from the gym, and I'll tell him, sorry, the flight got delayed.

But I haven't done that yet.

This is a lie about your health.

But he'll be happy that he's coming to the gym.

No, no. He'll say that you're coming after 3 days, so spend some time. Like that.

You'll slap me in front of him.

Like that.

You have a gym at home.

Yes, but I enjoy the gym. Haseena! I have to go to Noida. So he is showing me for an hour. So he is showing me for an hour and 40 minutes. Like you said today. But I came here on time.

Rahul came on time.

Yes, I came on time. But I said this about the gym. I went to the gym And then I ate food there And then I was in the gym for 2 hours And then Shreya came and said, did you go to the gym?

I played cricket today I played badminton

Did you go to the gym?

What is a gym?

I did cardio

But sometimes in the starting phase of a relationship In which there is a conversation, a talking stage, where you are quoting each other,

have you lied to impress her?

I personally feel that for all of us. Because we are already so much into our fiction on stage that we don't want to tell our partner. That is very important. If a person wants to lie for 10 minutes in a day, you can say it on stage.

Now, let me tell you about my dating experience. I used to live in Gurgaon, she used to live in Noida and we used to meet in Delhi. So, her expectation was that when our date was over, I should first I told him clearly that I won't be able to drive this taxi service. We will end the date on time so that you can safely take an Uber to Canada. And I can go to Gurgaon because I won't be able to drive this for three hours.

So I didn't do anything to become some kind of unnecessary good boy.

You set your expectations properly.

I didn't set them. I didn't set them.

I had a white Nova, I could have driven a taxi

But Canada was not there

Basically, as he said I am just adding on to him

I didn't lie You didn't lie?

Because we had a personality

You have it, I am telling you You go on 10 lies

It's in a spiral I get confused Why don't you like me? I'll tell you Kaustubh's parents are very close to me Because I feel like a mother to Kaustubh's parents

They came to my engagement And the ring they bring Kaustubh's mother brought it She knew he wouldn't bring it So, they came to my engagement and the ring they bring with them was brought by Kostub's mom.

She knew he wouldn't bring it.

So, for me, they are here. Now, before marriage, I thought I'd give three cards in Delhi. One at Solanki's house, one at Rohit's house and one at Kostub's house.

I gave the card at Solanki's house,

I gave the card to my girlfriend's house He said tell me now I said I'm leaving your house now

With my family

He said he's married Shreya will out you What will you do now?

Very normal

Now I'll ask you some questions

You have to give quick answers.

Okay? We'll start with Omkar. Everyone has to give answers.

We'll also throw a surprise.

And there should be a cost too.

Surprise.

Why is it always me in the bottle?

Because you're the most airy. Mathematically.

You're a little fat. What's the problem aerobic. Mathematically. It's a little oily. It's not just the baby,

it's the cost too.

Omkar, are you ready?

Yes.

Love language.

Physical touch.

Love language. Gifts.

Kausam. Words of affirmation.

Vivek. Respect.

Rahul. Polite conversation

Wow, you made me a captain planet

Why?

Now we all are

Why you?

Ugly You can make all five of us one good person

Okay next

Bro, did this ever happen to you? I went on a date In which she understood that nothing is going to happen on the date Then she started telling

She understood

No, I understand I understand it then she started telling me what type of guys she likes on a date with me

and in front of me

and I have to act like

that's not me at all

All boxes cross

Cross

Like I don't like Karan but Karan's crush I don't like Karan because his crush is everything that I am not. Tall, beautiful, tall, English speaking. So he is on a date.

A-naught.

Now I understood why Kaustubh made this show with me.

Because he is another man.

He is not at all.

Respect.

Okay.

Biggest ick.

Biggest ick. What is ick?

Ick is when you get irritated. Like, ugh, this quality.

Turn off.

Biggest turn off.

Lies, I mean... If someone lies to me, I see through it.

Now think Shreya,

if you say physical touch.

Biggest turn off.

I said physical touch.

A little...

A little bit.

Which is a lie.

Nice. Good one. Shreya.

Ego I think.

Male ego.

Okay, Vivek.

What is the biggest egg? I think it's lying. If someone lies, it should be caught.

That is my egg.

Your own lie should be caught. She keeps lying. Jhoot pakada jaye. That is my... Tera khud ka jhoot pakada jaye.

Jhoot pakati rati hai.

Jada...

Jada... Jada biyom ke ishmat bana kar raha hai.

Okay, Kaustubh.

Mera? Sense of entitlement.

Okay, interesting.

Rahul.

Very nice.

Sir, mera pehle bola hypocrisy. Aur... How do I say? Like when you don't understand the other person You disrespect him Basically

Superiority complex

Superiority complex

One disrespect is mine

Listen to what the other person is saying

Okay, nice In your comedy industry Who would you say is doing really well these days?

Prashasti I think

I love her work

Okay

Rohit's work I mean, I started putting it in. I mean, I really admire his humor.

Lovely. Vivek?

I think Rohit too, for now.

I think he's funny.

Has Kaustubh done Make It?

No.

Then I'll say Kaustubh.

Wow. Love you, bro.

Okay, so it was something like make it

No, no

I'll go

I saw your special I liked it

Shamik's special

Shamik's was good Kaustubh what about you?

Who will you say?

Virdas is a good guy

He's a little bit of a rascal

He's doing it right Virdas is doing it guy He's a little bit of a lachtoo

Virdas is doing it right This attitude is fine

Keep it like this

This has been a very fun conversation Usually whenever we end our podcast We ask everyone a question Kaustubh has already answered it twice So I think it will be easy for him If you had to give a piece of advice to the people watching this

And I'll just clear it once. The audience of Men's XP is very young.

18-24 young boys who are still figuring out life.

Boy XP.

Boys XP.

Yeah. Boys XP. Boys XP.

So, a piece of...

Sorry.

A piece of advice that has done a lot for you in life

and now you want to pass on, what would that be? Go with the flow. When I did stand-up for the first time after that I have never lived my life according to that flow. So I think that's the flow.

That's good. But first I would like to talk to Rahul bhai. Do you copy him?

Rahul bhai is like an elder brother

I had that attitude that we haven't done much

I think it should come

But go with the flow we had a conversation 6 years ago it really worked for us

According to me what I have learnt is never give up there are many sayings that a wise man knows when to pull out.

Oh!

And you have a kid, right?

Okay.

He's been admitted.

Very unexpected.

Unwise man.

But technically our demography needs this.

A wiser man knows how to pull a rubber.

I wasn't saying it in the connotation they took it in.

Never go with the flow.

But yes, never give up. Work for me because we don't know when it will work. So if you believe in something, continue doing it with all the passion. It will work out eventually. It's what I have learnt. That it happens.

Brilliant.

I think find something that you truly love. Like if you get that... A lot of people think that they don't get that thing that they really like, the corporate...

But a lot of people start loving from finding.

Two plates of paneer is so easy.

God has given us both hands One advice Hindi G5

True point

I think surround yourself with good people Good friends Whoever is around you Because they only Their reaction Whatever they are saying

Your mental health What you want to achieve,

it all depends on that. That's a good point.

That's why having a good partner also matters a lot.

Yeah.

And on that note, we will take your leave. Let us know in the comments section how did you like today's episode? And before we go, do not forget

to watch Andha P with our season 2 on Hindi Zee 5. Say bye guys. Bye bye.

Bye guys.

Bye bye.

Guys.

Thank you.

Applause for everyone's team.

No one did it together.

Three seconds. Three seconds.

Cut.