Vikas Divyakirti on Relationships, Money, Fame, Cheating & Social Norms | FO435 Raj Shamani

The person who has reached the top in this world, their relationships are mostly bad. Or they are single.

It is said that after great success, and before getting success, relations break. Relationships remain at the middle level.

If you want to do something big in life, then you slow at the middle level. You have to do a lot in life. Then you slow down the family structure.

If Narendra Modi or Yogi Adityanath or JP Jabdul Kalam had married, I don't think they would have achieved what they have achieved. Because after marriage, your responsibilities increase.

If you are with a mission, it is better to walk alone.

Tell me steps to become an ideal man.

Life gets ruined if you try to be an ideal man. It's better to be a normal human being. Ideals are usually seen in the eyes of others.

What's better? Love marriage or arranged marriage?

Future marriage is not safe. It's a Gen Z. It's a tendency to avoid marriage. Because the benefits of marriage are available without marriage. Cheating is as common as our data tells.

Why do you think people cheat today?

They cheat because the way we are made through evolution and the way our social structures are made, there is a contradiction in between. My genes keep on bothering me to find something new and my social structures keep on threatening me that if I do, I won't leave it. Now there is only one way left, cheating. There are such sayings, mother is a baby maybe Mother is a fact, father is a faith

Men have to pay a tax of emotion somewhere

This problem is more with women If they talk to someone with a smile They judge that either she loves me Or the character is not right Loneliness is increasing in the world Male loneliness is considered to be a big epidemic

Why? Males are not expressive Because males are not expressive. Because they are not expressive, their circle gradually narrows. It's a good thing for women that they are very expressive.

I have been telling you about Porter and his vehicles for the past year. Many of you may have already used Porter. And those who have forgotten, this is a short recap. Items up to 20 kg easily reach from Porter's two wheelers. And when you have to sell a large shipment, like bulk orders up to 4500 kg,

their trucks handle your work effortlessly, without any tension. Whether you are running your business, Porter's job is to make everything safe so that you can focus on your work and not stress unnecessarily.

This episode is brought to you by our title sponsor Porter. Click the link in the description to know more. And our guest today is Dr. Vikas Divyakirti, educator and

author. We will learn from him how evolutionary psychology helps in understanding human behavior. How AI has changed our thinking, what is the history of marriage systems, and what is the meaning of emotional intelligence. Do watch this episode till the end

and let me know in the comments what you have learnt chances of being successful in life? Yes, it increases. That your perception has increased.

If you are anything from inside, you can play by managing your perception.

Yes, yes.

It's a game of perception.

The big film stars have a very big perception about them. What is the truth? That the dialogues they say, they don't write them themselves. Someone writes them for them. Many of them use teleprompters to speak. Those who are not able to remember four sentences and speak,

those who are not able to think by themselves, they are considered the greatest in India. Many social media stars keep their tele front of the teleprompter. No one knows. And people think, how much knowledge is there, it's amazing. It's a game of perception.

Now, suppose we are talking randomly. Suppose we had scripted it beforehand that you tell the question, I will remember the answer and come. No one will know. But the perception will not go, wow, what is it? How deep the questions are, how deep the answers are. to I want to talk to you. And you personally say that sir, we will note it down first. I don't have that much brain.

We will have to do it this way. Only one person got to know. Perception has increased after that. So if your perception is fake, then people in a very small circle know about your perception.

What does the world know? And the world is treating you the same way. And do you get any benefit from it? Duniya ko kya pata? Aur duniya aapko waise treat kar rahi hai. And iska benefit milta hai? Benefit to bhai jaise koi star bahut credible mana jaata hai, jabki wo TP se pad raha hai saar. To vigyaapan to usi ko milega na.

True.

Aur vigyaapan dekhne wale ko kya pata ki usne vigyaapan bhi pad ke bola hai. Unhe kya matlab is baat se? So, the whole game ends with perception.

Nice.

What do you think? What would be the biggest misunderstanding about you? I mean, maybe I am a very serious type of person. No, you are not.

I thought you are serious.

No, I am not serious. I mean, there is a dichotomy. I'm a little introvert in my personal life. But when I'm in the classroom, I'm very jolly. I laugh a lot. So, you can say it's like a contradiction.

And I've been very active politically in my college life. So, I've done all the things that are done in politics, I have done them, enjoyed them. And I have no regrets about all those things. So, but now when I started studying, my perception has become that I am a very serious person.

No. No.

Do you think it makes a difference to you? What do people think what should people see? Look at my full personality. Why are you making me big by looking at the personality of one side?

I mean, I have stopped making a lot of difference. It used to make a difference before, but now it doesn't make much difference. It is necessary that if I am going somewhere and people recognize me, then I feel a little uncomfortable. So I wear a mask and do my work. But yes, it doesn't matter much what people think about me.

I try to be the way I am. But my perception about me is quite different from what I am. My perception is so good that I like to read and write a lot. I want to study a lot in every field. That is fine.

I teach.

Studying, writing, teaching is my duty. This is fine. There is no problem here. But I play a lot. People don't know this. I play 3-4 games properly.

I have played gymnastics in state level in school. New people know this. They can't even imagine that something like this will happen. I play pool, table tennis, cricket, everything properly. So that part of my perception is not usually there in the world. It doesn't seem that you will play so much. But you played gymnastics till national level.

I played gymnastics in the state. But you wanted to play nationality. Yes, but I didn't play. Then I got injured and then I was released. It's about school life. I was doing research and I came to know today. So, for me too, it was that gymnastics is quite different.

But, you know, when I try to do research today, I main aaj research karne ke chakkar mein, bahut comment bhi padta hoon logon ke, kahi na kahi se kuch na kuch bhi try to collect. Not ki mujhe sawal batao, ki wo aapke baare mein sochte kaisa hai, kya hai. Right? And ek bahut achhi baat boltein log, jo comment mein bhi hota hai, which is a positive side, we will come to the negative side as well, is, many people say that if there is an ideal man, he should be like Prakash sir. No, no, I am lying. Genuinely people talk about him. Because maybe people, thought process, teaching, business acumen, and if you are talking about sports, and then you are talking about jolliness,

which he sees, all that people mix and say that everything is there in a person. Otherwise, usually people who are very big, they are so much in sports, maybe. They must be such good businessmen, usually teaching business is not very hand in hand. Nowadays, it is very famous in India, but leaving some incident. Right.

So, what do you think is an ideal man? What is your definition?

I can say two things. One is diversity. Second is evolution. I mean, he lived his childhood like a child. He lived his youth like a youth. He did everything that is natural at that age.

What are they?

I have fought, fought, beaten up in my childhood. Non-seriousness. I could not study that much. I did not do homework. I got scolded. I got beaten up.

I have done all that. I did not like very educated kind of children. I have participated a lot in co-curricular activities, whether it be dance, debating, sports, everything. A well-groomed person, who has a good command over language, has the basic ability to understand the society, has the ability to handle any uneven situation,

then I believe he has been raised well. Then in college life, he had some fun, did some politics, to And whichever field he works in, he does it brilliantly. So I feel he is a perfect human being. And he is not so crazy about his work that he kills his hobbies. He makes some hobbies and goes. Any hobby. Like I have a hobby of reading. Reading poems, reading poetry, memorizing.

So I keep doing this work even today. Whenever I get a chance, I keep doing it. I have to watch films. So, at least 2-4 hobbies should be made, and there should be a good command in them. It's not like, yes, it's a hobby, so it's there. There should be a command in it.

So, whatever work is being done, there should be honesty in it. And if his relations are also complete, with friends, with family, then what can be better than that? So you have told that he has done all this. Yes. Who has, let's say, due to some reason, circumstances,

due to his situation, due to his family, left the car. Today he is seeing this for the first time. It is possible that the person is 25 years old today, who wants me to travel and now I have to find my way in my life. It could be a person who is 40 years old or 50 years old who says that my car has left the passion, today I may have to become better.

Or it could be a person who has everything but he is angry at a personal level, beats up, is useless. Somebody is watching it for the first time. Tell me one, two, three or four steps. to be a better person. Ideally, you should be able to see yourself in the eyes of others. And always looking at yourself in the eyes of others is a very difficult thing. It is better to be a comfortable human being. So, whatever you have missed in your life, nowadays we say that age is just a number.

So, whatever you have missed, in the era of social media, you have a choice to do almost the same things again. For example, I had a hobby of playing cricket in my childhood.

I couldn't play. Now I work. I know people who work for 5 days, do a good job and play a lot for 2 days. There are such apps nowadays. Corporate people use those apps. They get scores too. I don't think who killed the SCF surgical hand corporates can look when he asked me when he scored we are supposed to

record something that they have a stadium book currently the medium book currently the HR certainly got a table he'll pay up KG hmm how my request was badminton delhi magical coach a grab book curtain rose killed in to ask a buddy so we die a key to up naked by a sub-par naked options We play every day. So, nowadays, it's a great convenience that what you couldn't do, you can do now. You wanted to dance when you were a kid, but you couldn't.

Now, learn it. There are so many dance academies. And some of the batches are specially for those who are older. Go for it. You will have to get out of your comfort zone once.

So, it's a good thing that in this new tech culture, almost everything has been made into options. What I am trying to say is that if you didn't love at that age, you are roaming alone, then you can date. There are dating sites, there are also for senior people, there is no problem. Did you miss anything in your life? There is nothing like that. Almost everything has happened completely.

I mean, there has been a lot of diversity in my life. And I feel that I am very content. Do you have any fear? What can fear be? One thing is that the fame that will be lost, I don't have much fear of it.

No.

No.

One fear is that the success that I have achieved will be lost, I don't even have a fear of that. I mean, I am forgetting the age bracket, in that age bracket, people who have seen poverty, financial turmoil, instability, they have a kind of financial trauma. No matter how successful they become, no matter how much money they earn, they have a fear that this money will not work. trauma, no matter how successful he becomes, no matter how much money he earns, he is always

afraid that this money will not work, that he will not have insecurity again. I will have to read this research because I have seen a lot of financial turmoil from the age of 17 to 25.

Yes, exactly.

I have seen a lot. And the truth is that I don't feel scared because of that.

Why?

It should be the other way around. Now you have money. No, because I have seen so much bad that I can easily bear every bad situation. When I had been through that, I can bear anyone. This is in my confidence. So I don't know who did this, but it doesn't apply to me.

It is called the poverty scar hypothesis.

Okay.

It shows that people who experience economic turmoil between ages of 18 to 25 develop what they call a scarcity mindset. And it never fully heals. Even after becoming wealthy, 91% of respondents reported anxiety about money, inability to enjoy wealth, hyper vigilance about spending. So, there is a kind of trauma response.

It is possible that I am a little vigilant in spending, not hyper. I am vigilant in spending.

You don't spend blindly.

No, I don't spend blindly. I am in a good situation. My company is ours. It takes care of my travel. I get a good place to stay. That's all. But even today, if I am staying in a hotel and there is an extra light, I switch it off.

Not because I have to pay the bill, but because it will have environmental impacts. I will give you an example. I have stayed in Mumbai. It is a good and expensive room. I had to iron my clothes pressed yesterday. So, I first found out if they were in my package or not.

So, I pressed them myself. They cost around Rs.100-200 maximum. So, if I feel that I am free, it will take 10 minutes, I have been pressing clothes since childhood, why I am ready, why should I blow the whistle without talking? But if my child is stuck somewhere, I will tell him to press the button.

Because he may not be very comfortable, he may burn his clothes, I don't know. And if I feel that he is not comfortable pressing the button, I will not worry. I will tell him to do it. I won't be able to do it. This is a generational issue. Your parents won't be able to spend the money that you want them to.

And your next generation will be saddened by this. I tried so many times to get my mother to get domestic help. But the mindset she has this mindset since childhood. I have seen so many struggles. They always used to think how to spend so much money. And I could not make them understand that your children have so much wealth that they can manage easily.

They knew they could manage. But still a dilemma. And even if they get it, the dilemma was still that I was spending money. Now, you can't just give it away and end it. It's very difficult to get rid of the neural path that has been in the brain since childhood. So, the result of 18 to 25 years of experience was that I do avoid extra spending or wasting money. But I am a liberal and a good employer.

If you have done this research, you must have come across this. Drishti as a company is supposed to be the best paymaster in the industry. And I am proud of it.

What are the other things that you can't spend? Like I'll give you an example. You gave an example of your mom, my father too. They can't keep a driver. I tell them that you are old now. You can keep it.

Easy, go here and there. You have to work many times. You have to talk on the phone too. So why do you...

What do he do?

He stops the car on the side and talks for another 15 minutes. I said, do it. He said, can I drive? I said, yes, I know you can drive. Sometimes, you can park it here and there. What's the problem?

There is no problem with parking. He says, he will stand from morning to night.

What will he do? This is the problem. He keeps hiding that he is looking like this and there is work to be done.

He will stand, what will he do? Why should I keep someone standing? Why should I keep standing? Okay, we can do it. No. And whatever happens. We can do anything, there is no problem.

We can do it with our money, with their money, with the neighbors, they have no problem. They have a lot of problems with themselves. And they will not let me spend on it, nor will they let my brother do it.

Driver's. Yes, on them.

Yes, on them.

Yes, it happens. So what are your patterns on which you spend unnecessarily? There are some people in my house who are very generous in spending. They are very liberal. So, they don't have any problem with how much ever we spend. They know that our condition is good and why we have earned money.

If we can't spend, then... I am the one who is a little stingy in that matter. And I think the reason for that is not the trauma, but the values that we have seen since childhood. Like, last year when I was going to America, my family insisted that I get a first class flight.

I didn't even know that first class and business class are different. That's when I found out only then. I got a heart transplant and I got a place in the field, in the plane. And there is a specific person who is asking for ice cream and food again and again. I was so worried in that 8-hour flight. So I told my family that I will not go to first class after this in my life.

Why? I don't feel comfortable. What's the point of sitting alone? Yes, I am a bit in the economy these days. Because there are a lot of people who recognize me. So, there is a little privacy issue.

In business, there is no issue of privacy. And it is not very expensive either. As compared to first class. And people keep looking around. So, it seems that you are in the middle of people. In first, the cabin is closed. So I said, no, this is a little too much.

And then when I found out how much money was spent, I was very surprised.

That it is more.

This is too much.

But this is the reason people choose first. Mostly in first and business, in most flights, the only difference is that in first you will come from anonymity that you will come from anonymity and leave from anonymity.

It will be privacy. People won't know.

I don't need so much anonymity. I just don't want to bother anyone. That's all. So, it's the same. And where do you feel the expenses are useless? If I say something like this, then there will be a dispute in the house. Like once my son said, Dad, I want this car. It was small. I said, son, when you grow up, buy it and take us around in it.

Dad, you have so much money that you can buy it. So I said, I can buy it, but I can't buy this. I can buy it, I can buy it, but why should I buy it? Why should I waste money? Even after this, it is true that we have a big car, an expensive car. I personally am not very comfortable with such things.

But family is made up of everyone, right? So, the majority of the family decides. So, if I have to go somewhere alone, I don't travel in such a car even by mistake. Yes, where there is a safety issue, there is a danger of going on the highway, sometimes we do it. So I feel that...

Waste of money.

Yes. I feel that on a personal level. You are exactly like my father.

Yes, like someone tells me that there is a watch worth 40 lakhs, wear it, we will gift it to you, so I will not take the gift. Someone will tell me to buy this pair of glasses, I can never imagine that it is worth 5 lakhs.

Why is it like that? Because I am also like that. I don't take gifts from people, from outsiders, from anyone. If someone I know gives me a good gift, which is more expensive, I feel very uncomfortable.

I don't buy expensive gifts that are not worth the price.

That's because you know deep down that you have to pay a price for it. And does that happen? Yes.

No one gives anything for free?

Maybe it's not a financial cost, but it's an emotional cost. It's a psychological and social cost. And what will they expect? For example, if someone gives you an expensive gift, you will say, just come to my house once. And you are an introvert,

you think that thing is more expensive, so don't buy a better gift than that. Why should I buy a gift? You should avoid taking favours as much as you can.

That's it.

Can you reach out to people?

Do you have any work? Do you feel shy to ask for something?

Very much. Very much.

Why?

It's called self-respect, self-esteem. And an unconscious fear that if I ask for something, I will have to pay something in return. And what will I have to pay? I don't know. And I'm one of the people who can't say no comfortably. So if you are such person, if you don't have command over saying no, you should avoid such situations. But yes, sometimes I do say it, if there is a genuine requirement.

I have my own shortcomings, but let's say there is a child, who is stuck in a situation where he has to be saved. Someone had to say it, some IAS, IPS, some senior official. So I say it, and people do it too. But if it's my job, I try very hard not to say it.

Have you ever felt ashamed of anything? Do you feel shame?

It's a part of it.

It's a necessary part. When you sold the calculator for the first time, when you sold it there and you were from an educated family, you had a good time, then you had a bad time.

Do you feel ashamed then?

No, no, I don't feel ashamed. What's there to be ashamed of? My family's condition was bad.

I had to earn.

So, I had a job of Rs. 1100 at that time. So, you felt ashamed at that time that your other friends were doing this and that? No, no, no. I was very clear about that. If there's a problem in the family and it's my responsibility at that time, so what job could I have got? I could have got the same job.

So I got the same job. It is true that if someone is going to sell something, and he speaks badly, then it is bad.

And selling is a little shameful. Why? It is more shameful on our side.

And it is wrong to look at the salesman on our side. Yes, I am saying in that sense. salesman Otherwise, it was a job. So, there was no problem. Then it's fine. And you said that people used to feel bad. People used to say something. Is it like this now?

When was the last time you felt humiliated? Humiliated? I mean, if I say, like one year ago, there was an incident that a few miles away,

a 3-year-old girl died in the basement of an institute. We were not far from it. It was neither our institute nor anything of ours. The miracle of social media was that after that the whole country followed me. And till today I meet many people who believe that the incident happened in our institute. to to I don't understand the reason. I understand the compulsion. They have a job. They need views. They have to earn on that.

If I am getting views for them on that day, they need a prey every day. I am their meal for two days in a year. So, he came one day, I was their meal that day.

So, everyone hunted.

What can we do? But it seems that if it was in our country, it would have been fine.

If we are not involved in it, then why are we after it? But don't you get angry that I have worked so hard and made so much credibility by doing such a good job, you ruined everything in just two days of food. If you understand a little philosophy and live, then you stop getting angry. Like in this case. The truth is that there are more educated, more intelligent, and better

than me people in the country. But they didn't get that much popularity. This too happened by chance. What happens is that when something good happens, we believe that it happened because of our hard work, our ability. Whereas, the big 30 markh Even though we have been able to do a lot of things, they didn't get a chance. So, I accepted what was good. Now, I became popular.

But I wasn't popular enough to be a victim. So, being a victim is a part of the package that you have got by chance. So, when you are happy with it, you should take it along. part hai jo aapko tukka se mil gaya hai. Toh jab aap usme khush hote ho, toh isko saath me leke chalo. Yeh accept kar liya hai? Yes, yes, yes.

Kab shuru se hi accepted tha, hi abhi abhi karna accept? Malabar ek do saal se hi mujhe samjh bhi aana shuru ho gaya tha. I'll give you an example. Two months ago, there was a lot of news that the CCPA has fined us. There was a lot of rumor. It's interesting that this happened three years ago and all the institutes that have been involved have been fined. All of them have been fined.

Everyone's news has been published. No one's news has been published on social media. to because you are more popular. So, you should accept this. If Salman Khan is very popular, then you should accept that if someone else makes an accident, you will be saved. You will not be saved.

Because the society has also

brought you there.

So, your mistake will not be forgiven.

Part of the package.

Package.

You liked this term. Part of the package. Package. You like this term. Part of the package. But do you suppress emotions when there are reactions?

Yes, I mean I habitually do this.

Habitually you suppress emotions.

You talk openly about emotions.

No, no, I say that it is good to be emotionally expressive, but I believe that in males, generally

being inexpressive becomes a part of nature and I am one of the few men who are not. I am not a man. I say that it is good to be emotionally expressive. But I believe that males generally become inexpressive. It becomes a part of their nature. And I am one of them. And since this great social media has put a spell on me, I have become less expressive.

See, what happens is that I have two or three coincidences. One is that I am a teacher. Being a teacher means that in India, especially, you have to live a different level of life in the eyes of the students. For example, if you feel like smoking a cigarette in front of your staff, there is no problem. No one will judge you.

I don't smoke, but suppose I feel like smoking, and I smoke in front of students, then people will judge me. Because it is believed that a teacher should have a different ethical life. So if you are a teacher and popular, then you have to stay away from a lot of such conventions that are normal for someone.

Fair.

Then I run a company in which about 2000 people work. I am the MD and founder of that company. Now, all the people who work there, whether they are teachers or admin staff, I cannot be friends with them. If I become friends and the friendship increases, then I will not be able to talk professionally properly.

If I want to talk professionally, I won't be able to increase my friendship. So I can't be friends in the classroom, I can't be friends with the teacher, I can't be friends with the staff, I can't be friends with the top management. The family background I came from, the friends I had in school and college, I was an ordinary student, so my friends were also like that. to I have to constantly try to make sure that no one thinks that I have become a big shot. So, you must have to do this when you go to Indore. If a person has a relationship with two people and he is a big shot,

then his responsibility increases to make the feel that he is like that. So I have to make people feel at every level that I am like this. No matter if I am not like this. That's why pretending is a common part of my life. That's why I have to act. That's why I have to go with the image.

It's not a good thing. And that's why when I come to Mumbai, I feel a little relieved because there is less pressure on me. It can be a little more expressive. There is more pressure in Delhi. But do you feel that all men forget yourap, if you are a man, aapko zyada expressive hone pe punish kiya jata hai. In some sort, agar aapko bas ye expect kiya jata hai ki aap ek protector

ho, aap bahar jao, duniya se jeet ke aao, aur ghar aake wapas protect karo. Kyuki aap I can protect her. You can't be caught up in the open. I got to cut it. I got to cut it. I got to cut it. I got up. I'm doing a say affected, bothered.

I got to cut it. I got to cut it.

Top.

Koi be emotion. Joe bought natural hair as a man. I got to cut it. Who's that? She value needy. So if you show any emotion which is very natural as a man, then you are not given a very good value.

If we add a little bit of evolution to this, in the history of our human history, in the history of Homo sapiens, in 300,000 years, we have started all these things from 5000 years of history, we have started religions and traditions for the last 5000 years. But if I add the time before the homo sapiens, then it is several hundred thousand years in which we have lived in the jungles and all those cities. So what happens is that in mammals, there are many species where the nurturing of the child is very important.

It is not a matter of one parent. Humans are also one of them. And in any species, usually 4-5% of mammals have a family structure. In any species, there is a division by default. One of the parents will save the children. The other will go out and collect the things.

In 99% of the human societies, this division was very simple that the male will collect things from outside and the female will take care of the children and save them. I am saying 99% because this is an exception.

So, in 99% of our history, we have hunted. We have collected things. When we go to hunt, there is a risk of getting hunted. Because the tiger must have come out.

We have to hunt it too. We have to hunt it too. We are looking for the tiger. And at that time, you don't have an option to cry. At that time, your frontal cortex works.

Planning works. Testosterone works, which creates a lot of agitation. It creates aggressiveness. You cannot be calm there. To be calm means to die. Second thought means to die.

And the condition of being balanced is that the second thought is in your mind. So you cannot be balanced in that situation. There, it is just one thing that you have to kill in some way. You are making weapons, planning, all the males are together, doing violence, hunting, bringing. He does not care much about emotional life.

He does not like the noise of the house. For him, the meaning of family is family is just her sexual needs being fulfilled. She has a small child. She loves the child. If we go further back, the male is not even a normal part of the family. You will see that in most species, after having a child, only the child and the mother live. There is no father.

Now, look at the dogs. You will never see a father. Look at the monkeys. You will never see a father. You see a father in the pigeons for a short time. In very few species.

The father is a part of the family. This is a historical phenomenon. This is not natural. The father is not a part of the family. Family ka hissa nahi hai. Naturally, hissa nahi hai family ka. Culturally, socially, wo hissa banta gaya. Banta gaya, kab bana? Jab thodi safety aagayi, settlement hone lagayi, kheti shuru hu gayi,

ab utna khatra nahi hai, shikar nahi karne. Ab time hai uske paas, ab utni hinsa nahi karne hai. to love. Now he has time. Now he doesn't have to do that much violence. If he doesn't have to do that much violence, then the level of testosterone should not be like that. He can be a little humble. Now if he has time, he spends it with his family. If he is at home, he talks to his children more. He talks to his wife more. From there, the structures start to be formed that monogamy should be there, women's rights should also be there, gender equality, and children's rights. So, in 99% of the civilizations and cultures, man has been adapting to this process in the last few hundred or thousand years.

Now, he is slowly becoming emotional. In many families, you will see that the males are very emotional about the children. They cry. In many families, you will see that the father and mother are singing together. But in a feudal society, you will not see the father doing this. Where the symmetrical family has become more, you will see this.

So the father loves his daughter a lot and shows it a father loves his son a lot and he shows it to his son. He loves his son a lot and he shows it to him. This is a new phenomenon which is coming in new societies. That's why if a father is not very expressive, then the history of millions of years is the same.

Evolution.

We are learning slowly. And after a few thousand years, it will become common. It will become very common. It is not today. It is difficult. For example, if you are from Haryana, Punjab, Uttar Pradesh in the west, then it is very difficult.

And if you are in Mumbai, then you will see it. You will see it in Bangalore. You will see it in Pune. But multiple researches have also been done on developed society also. Where there are two individuals who live together and have almost similar roles. Both of them go to work and come back home.

In those societies, many girls were asked multiple times. Different thinkers, researchers, universities have done research. They say that they like vulnerable men. Who show vulnerability, who show their emotions, that's great. But when it came to choosing a partner, they didn't choose vulnerable partners because they feel somehow key VK

bachani by evolution give us a mega rescue they came to mail or female select a secret a partner of now to a simple concept a joke work now I'm character I'm a kitab it's not you it's biology evolutionary psychology based on up to the reacting carly It's not you, it's biology. Evolutionary psychology. You can act however you want, that I will choose my life partner

based on these parameters. When there is a decision, your brain is not working. That's why neuroscience is proving that when we think, we have already made a decision

at the level of our neurons. How do we decide? Our subconscious and unconscious work, and it works on the principle of evolution. A man understands that woman unconsciously, who will be able to give birth to her healthy child and will be able to nurture it. The whole aesthetics is based on this.

The male eye understands the same figure of the female, in which the same parts of the body are developed, which will work to give birth to the child and to nurture the child. This is unconsciously. All this is at the unconscious level. No matter how much you act,

the concept of beauty and colour is a part of culture with development. Because naturally black is not beautiful and white is beautiful. This is nonsense. This racism developed over the centuries.

But what we call as figure in aesthetics, the healthy body, is basically the same in the unconscious mind. So when someone says that I like her, her unconscious mind is telling that she will be able to give birth to a healthy able to raise him. What is there for a female? Look at evolution. She has to hunt, she is very dangerous. A woman is also dangerous to other men. Marriage is not an excuse.

Neither has society developed, nor is there a law, nor is there a judiciary, nor is there a police. How can she save herself from other men? She needs a man who can save her from other men. Secondly, she should make him her mother.

Thirdly, when she is pregnant or when she will have a child. Children will be born again and again. One child is born and the other is in the womb. There are 10 or 15 children at that time. So, in the entire 15-20 year process, when the children are small or in the womb, then he will bring food for me from outside.

He should be so healthy that he is not able to manage. So, who will save him from other men who will be powerful? Who will be able to bring food? The one who is powerful, because Who will be able to bring food that is powerful? Will he be able to hunt? That's why in subconscious and unconscious,

women need protection from other men. And insecurity of food, etc. For the upbringing of small children. So, no matter how much we try, whenever we are selecting, you can ask any number of people,

we will come to 10 parameters, but during selection, beauty comes first. And we have to keep in mind that beauty is the same in the mind. It is the same for women. Vulnerable feels good, democratic feels good, symmetrical feels good. That yes, I like it when you cry. But I need someone who can take care of me.

If you consider evolutionary psychology to be completely correct, then this definition is completely correct. But the process of evolution is not like it has stopped somewhere. Now, suppose a child is born in Bombay and his parents are quite symmetrical. They both work, they both come home, they talk to each other lovingly.

They don't have that testosterone that makes the father angry or fight. They are very soft fathers. The mother is also soft. They have raised the children well. They both studied a lot. They studied sociology, psychology. to to is weak, is biologically upset, so he still has love.

Love develops over a long period of time. So evolution is a big factor to understand psychology. It is not the only factor, but it is one of the major factors. What do you feel? What's better? Love marriage or arranged marriage? The first question is, marriage or no marriage? Marriage or no marriage?

I feel that the future of marriage is not very safe.

Why?

There is another thing. Whether it is the mindset of evolution or the mindset of the same, every human being, not just humans, every species, every creature has a scale in their mind. On one hand, there is cost and on the other, there is benefit. Whether you say it or not, that scale is active in your mind for 24 hours.

In everything. Cost, benefit, analysis. Every human relation, ultimately, even in the family, works on this system. The relation between a mother and a child, especially when the child is very young, is a little different. It is called unconditional love. Otherwise, every human relation is of the same child.

All other relations, except marriage, almost all other family relations are given. I cannot choose my father, I cannot choose my mother, my mother, my siblings. That is a given. Where it is a given, the mind does not work to the extent that it is a benefit or a loss. Sometimes you may be sad that you get a good father, a good brother, a good sister. Sometimes you may be happy that you did not get the one who is better than you.

But you do not have a choice there. In our whole life, there is only one relation where there is a choice. I am talking about family relations, not friends. That is the spouse. And it is also decided that the spouse has the greatest impact on our life. Leave the initial part of life.

Mote Dharamani ji got married at the age of 25. So, from 25 to 75, 80, 90, whatever it is, about 3-4th of the life, it will have the same impact. And it has an impact of 24 hours. Neither with the mother, nor with the father, nor with the brother, nor with the sister. There it is of 24 hours.

The biggest decision of life is marriage. The most active is the balance of cost-benefit. It's a different thing that marriage is done at a young age. Until the prefrontal cortex is developed, you don't think, you get emotional and get married. 18-20 year old kids fall in love, run away and get married.

That's a different thing. But if you cross 25

and this part is developed,

the Taraju is properly developed.

You see, those who don't get married till 25, then they often get late. Then it becomes 30, 35. Taraju has become very active. Now they feel in every matter that there is more benefit or more cost. They make notes, make lists.

Pros and cons.

What are the pros and cons.

And it always seems that this package is not right.

There are more laws in it. In totality, I feel that in the near future,

the more benefits the merit system will give itself,

the more problems it will give. So, the Gen Z, you must be in Gen Z, right? Yes, Gen Z. The Gen Alpha, the tendency is to stop people from getting married. And as time goes by, the tendency will increase to stop people from getting married. This is my assumption, being a student of sociology and psychology, I think this will happen. Why? Because the benefits that were available from marriage, are available without marriage.

Why did people get married in the olden days? Because there was only one way to fulfill their sexual needs, marriage. Either you go to the red light area, males will get this option, but this is not an option that you will spend your life depending on it. Otherwise, it is the same way. The society has left the way for marriage.

Sexual needs are a problem after a certain age. You have to fulfill them. So get married. That's why the culture was that the parents of girls used to force their sons not to meet before marriage. If it happens too late, then you can meet her.

You can talk to her alone for 2 minutes. But you don't have to meet her. Because people have an idea that that period will end in 4 days, 10 days, 20 days. And then it is possible, especially in the case of the boy, it is possible that he might feel that no.

You have to get him married before he gets over that hump. You have to take life insurance. Because girls don't have a job at that time. They don't have education. The society has not sent them to study. The son will do the job, the son will do the farming, the son will do all the work outside,

he will earn and bring his son. A bride will come to fulfill the needs of the son. What does the bride have in the USP? That she can fulfill a need of the son. No one will ask the bride if she likes the boy or not. No one used to ask.

And everyone knows, the father of the girl and the father of the boy, everyone knows because they have also gone through that phase, that when sexual needs decrease or the mind starts to fill up, then marriage doesn't last. So, we will see two systems in old societies. One is that there will be no union before marriage. Second is that there will be no divorce after marriage.

Whether you look at it in Catholics, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists, Muslims, there are some exceptions. There will be no divorce. Because if you open the door of divorce, there will be a line. So, you don't have to give a chance, you have to tie it. Now, what is there in today's society?

Girls study a lot, go to lot, they have jobs, careers. I am talking about Delhi, Bombay. The same is going on in villages. Now, there are dating sites here. People meet at work, at school, college. There are thousands of interactions.

If you fall in love, the law is in your favor. If you are 18+, these two kids are under 18, these two are above 18, the law doesn't bother you. No one can stop you. No police, no society

can stop you from loving legally. So you are doing it. You are watching social media, you are watching reels continuously. You watch TV, you watch movies, the environment is the same everywhere.

There are lines on dating sites. You get so many options. Although there are dangers, there are many incidents, but there are options. What was the first danger?

If the girl gets physically intimate, gets pregnant, then her life is over. This is the biggest danger. We have seen in literature, in 1000 years of literature, to humans. 1961, the first contraceptive came to UK. In which it happened that, it was for women, there was a pill. People started calling it a magic pill.

It could stop pregnancy. After 1961, there were many contraceptives. For the first time, the world is in a state where even after physical intimacy, you can become a mother if you want to, but not forcefully. When this happens, there is openness, people are meeting outside. Why would many of them need to get married?

There are a lot of people for whom marriage was so important. They didn't care about two people living together, or about the soul, body, mind, thoughts, companionship. All of that is a city-like thing. A normal child who is illiterate, who works as a laborer,

has friends like that. When they talk in their language, why do we get married? We want a girl to fulfill our needs. We want a child. And the girl will come home.

The environment of the house will be such that she will have to get used to it. Because this is a culture. The bride will leave from here and the groom will leave from there. She will not come back. She will not be separated.

The law of divorce came in our society in 1955. Before 1955, no Hindu, Sikh, Jain or Buddhist could have taken divorce. It's 1955. We are only in the 70s. There is no option of divorce. The culture is that the girl won't come back to her home.

If the girl doesn't come home, where will she go? She has to stay in her in-laws' home and fulfill her husband's needs. This was a set-up that was prevalent in most of the societies in the world. Now, there are many such options. If someone had to get married only to fulfill my needs. There are a thousand options. Many people don't want to be parents.

I have many friends who are in their 40s, they are husband and wife, they are not parents, and neither do they want to be. They don't want to be. They call them dink,

double income no kids, or they are single income no kids. They don't want children. We ask them why they don't want children. markets. Chahiye nahi bachche. Hum pootsne ki bachche kyu nahi chahiye? Bolte humne pootsha ki aapko kyu chahiye? Aapki choice aapko chahiye, humari choice hume nahi chahiye.

To jisko bachche chahiye hi nahi, uske liye shadi ka kya matlab tha? Needs puri ho jaye. You can meet your friends in the same way, in co-living. There is also an option in co-living that you are not compatible after a while, you separate. Why do you have to stay together? Both are educated, both are intelligent, confident, secure, if there is no insecurity, then what is their problem? That is why, the pace at which people are studying, living in big cities,

earning, openness that has living in big cities, earning, openness has come into their thoughts, the quantity and quality of cross-gender interactions has increased, the impact of global culture in America and France, we are seeing that here, there are good chances that the impact of marriage will be less. Even now, in history, the highest number of single people are still there.

Yes, and they are genuine. I don't know the fact, but it is understandable. Highest number of single people today in the world. Highest number of people who are choosing not to be married, to not to be married, not to also be in a relationship of any form of commitment. They are like non-committed relationships. We will not be in committed relationships, in any of them.

Highest number of people.

We call it NCMOs. What is committed? Non-monogamy is a word that is used nowadays, which means that we are transparent, but non-monogamous. And we have it. You must we have this polyamorous relationship. Do you feel people are polygamous? Polygamous and polyamorous are different.

By birth, do you feel humans? Yes, yes, yes, very much. Not even humans.

Animals are there, most of the animals are.

I am not talking about animals, I am talking about birds. There has been a misconception about birds for a long time that they are monogamous. But when DNA fingerprinting research was done, it was found that there are four types of monogamy. One is mental monogamy. That no one else's thoughts will enter my brain.

One is sexual monogamy. That there is no place in the brain, but the relationship will remain the same. One is genetic monogamy. That relations keep forming with someone, but if parents form, then we will form with someone else. One is social monogamy.

Even if parents are made with someone else, the society will see that we are not husband and wife,

and this is our child.

There are many children who are not with their parents, who are from the Darussal Jisgah. There are such sayings. Mothers may be, fathers may be. One such saying is very popular. Mother's baby, father's maybe. There is a famous African saying, or a British saying,

mother is a fact, father is a faith. How could anyone claim before DNA fingerprinting that this is my father or not? It is a belief. Now we know from DNA fingerprinting. And this is a matter of the last 50 years, 30 years.

So, 30 years ago, there was only trust in the world. Now, in Britain, when a child from a royal family's genetic structure is seen, then Indian genes are also seen in his genes. Now, if you take out the entire horoscope of anyone, then there will be no trust. kundali toh vishwas uth jayega. Peeche ki kisi na kisi peedi mein kabhi na kabhi aisa hua hoga. Toh bharose bhi duniya chal rahi hai. Yeh bharose hi pe hai aur kya hai.

Why do you think? Haan aap bataya ho.

Toh social monogamy. They have social monogamy.

But maybe it's not the same pigeon. because their species needs bi-parental caring.

As far as humans are concerned, the general opinion about humans is that to If you get married in a tribal environment, there are so many restrictions there that there is no possibility of getting married. And if you make a mistake, you will be killed. So many people will come in your life. You will not live in a relationship all your life. And if you live, you will live with one person.

There are many such people.

But I think if we talk about the nature of human beings, especially if you are talking about males, monogamy is a cultural construct, not a natural phenomenon. Why you said males? It is not in women? Women are not so much believed in this. The reason is that when there is interaction between two people, it is said that it happens for two reasons. I am not saying that it doesn't happen in females.

I am saying that it happens especially in males. To a great extent, it can happen in females as well. But there are two reasons that separate it. The first reason is that the emotional love of a person rises very quickly and falls very quickly. In the initial stage, you will see that boys are more enthusiastic. They demand the same in everything.

They give the same proposal in every new thing. Their hormones and testosterone are very much disturbed. But it is only until physical intimacy is formed. After physical intimacy is formed, or after forming 2, 4, 10, 20 times,

their graph starts to come down very fast. That's why women often complain that they are not the same as they were before. And that poor soul is not doing this to her. Her nature is like that. Okay.

He has been made like that in evolution. The phenomenon of female love matures with time. It does not happen in a single moment. It comes in that state gradually. Whether it is physical love or non-physical love.

In physical love, it takes time for them to become intimate and reach that point of intimacy, which males don't feel. And when they start living together, their love for each other starts to deepen. This is not about all the women, in general. And there is a higher possibility that there is an emotional element inyada ho, yeh sambhavna zyada rehti hai. This is one thing.

Doosra, males ki sexual life ki duration bahut zyada hai. Chodha 15 saal ki umrah se, pachpan 60, aaj kal toh shayad 65-70 ki umrah tak bhi wo active rehte hain. And they have the capacity of producing children even in the age of 50,70, they remain active. And they have the capacity of producing children, even at the age of 50, 55, 60, 65, 70. So, females also know that being attractive,

being a mother, won't last long. So, it's said in all conscious and unconscious, in evolutionary psychology. So, the scope of deviation is less in them. This unconscious element also helps us to choose one. It is important to choose one correctly and stay with it till it gives us security. So, the second parameter is emotions.

The third one is their biology. This also troubles them a little. So, this tendency will be less in women, that they are with multiple partners. Social control is also a factor. It's not that they are not. Even if social control is less, I think, relatively, you will see a tendency in males. Because if you look at the design,

the homeoec of a baby is only a few minutes, and the mother's is nine months. After those few minutes, the baby is hungry. He needs food again, after a day or two.

And then there is a tendency for something new. This is also coming from evolution. The evolutionary design of this is that she has to give birth to her child safely. And she has to give birth to her child from wherever she can. So, the beautiful, healthy females she sees will be attracted to her.

And attraction means that her genetic makeup is troubling him to have a child through this woman so that your best genes are safe. That's all it means. This nature doesn't care about marriage or divorce. Nature only cares about giving birth to a child before you die. It's about survival. Because a woman has to wait for nine months, and then she has to breastfeed her and breastfeed

her. It is not practical for her to look for a lot of males. The male's job is only for a few minutes. That's why he can leave his genes again and again, he can leave his sperm here and and there so that their generations can continue. So, those who understand psychology and sociology from an evolutionary perspective, believe that it is very common for males not to have mono-emeralds.

Because of evolution.

Evolution. So polygamy means a marriage system. Polyamorous means that two males and two females live together. Both love each other. It is transparency. They are not cheating.

They are open. So why do people do it now? Because now all these factors have been removed. Now genetically people don't want to make their offspring.

Right? It's not evolutionary. Right? So today why do people do cheating with multiple partners? Why do they cheat?

Cheating graph is also very high in the cheating world. Why do you think people cheat today? There are two things. First, we don't need a lot of kids. So why do we cheat? The answer is that it takes thousands of years

to become subconscious or unconscious. It will take thousands of years to change. So, no matter how much we understand the current situation, our unconscious is still functioning as before. to Secondly, you asked why people cheat. They cheat because they are in the state of unconsciousness, they are made of evolution, and they are in the state of social structure,

and there is a contradiction between them. Social structure tells you that you are monogamous. This is the value, the culture, the law. Although the law is not considered a crime. Earlier also crime was in a very specific case. Now it is not considered a crime.

If there are two consenting people, adults, then there is no problem. But I am talking about India. There are problems in many countries. Like in Iran, if a woman does this, then she will be killed by stones. This is the rule even today.

The same rule is in Pakistan. The contradiction is that my genes keep on disturbing me to find something new. And my social structures threaten me that if I do, they will not leave me. to to impossible. The second way is that he has completely suppressed his genetic, evolutionary and biological needs to maintain his social structures. Many people do this. They tell the world that they are truly monogamous.

They have a conflict within them. In that conflict, they kill their natural aspect to keep their societal aspect right. Most people are not able to do this or that. There is only one way or two ways. They are talking to their spouse very transparent and honest that, look, my genetic makeup is bothering me a lot. Transparent, honest. that you do whatever you think is right, I don't have a problem. But if he says that you and I are both right,

he won't be able to bear it. Because both have the right possessiveness and that too is connected to that insecurity. The beginning is with insecurity. We don't even give permission to be so transparent. How many husband and wives can say this?

Maybe 0.001% Now there is only one way left. Cheating. We don't have any data on cheating, but I think cheating will be as much as our data can tell. The data you are talking about is very...

Because how can the graph of these things be a survey?

And socially people have to sound correct. Plus there are apps now, which are only for cheating and then extra marital affairs.

I did research on that. I read about an app in India. Maybe it works globally. Which is only for cheating. Extra marital affairs. It's been downloaded left right center.

Like it's, it has a lot of download data.

In India. It's insane.

No, it is. I heard that in a city in South India. It's insane. No, it is. And I have heard that in a city in South India, maybe Kochi is the name that has the most downloads of that app.

That I don't know. Exactly.

But...

You know, what you said is very beautiful. If the prefrontal cortex works, it will be understood. Otherwise, the limbic system says, brother, what are you talking about? In simple words, that emotionally, the society in which I grew up,

you grew up, these things are also wrong in it. How can you think about it? How to normalize cheating in any way? We are normalizing it, but there is something very interesting about it. In this society, some big leaders have said that it is a mistake to have boys.

It is a matter of this society. Society has a different way of working.

What? Society has a different way of working.

The parents or the fore parents, they were also at this age. They must have not been able to do mental monogamy. It is possible that they also cheated. But the beauty of cheating is that no one should know about it. No one should know about it except those two. So, almost everyone knows about both. One is that every generation of people has cheated in some way or the other.

And also that the next generation has to be taught not to do it. I have deviated from the cultural norms by myself. So I will not publicly say that the norms are wrong. Sometimes it happens that there are 100 people in the society, and they are doing 100% of the cheating, but the norms are the same.

And when all 100 people are sitting together, they are chanting slogans that they don't want to do it. So this happens in traditional societies. And that is why, if you read the data, the rape is done by people who are 95% or more than 95% of the family members. This is around 98%.

95%, more than 95% of the rapes are committed by the people who are the family members or like family members. Data is around 98% accurate. Why is it that in a society where there are no barriers, no courage to speak up, norms are fixed, norms cannot be changed, people keep deviating and cheating, everyone's face is such that they are not cheating. But they do. And those who feel that it is worse, they get divorced.

They get separated. But before 1955, they could not even get divorced. What would they have done then? Or what would have happened at that time? Some people would get married twice or thrice. They did it in Hindus too.

Because to get married once, this too, even in Hindus. Because the Hindu Marriage Act was introduced in 1955 to get married once.

It was not before that.

It also has the option of divorce. And it has a compulsory law for monogamy. It was not before that. You can go and see it in your own house, just three generations back. You can ask your grandfather, how many people from his grandfather and those around him got married twice. You will know that many people must have done it.

And why do you think that this happens? When men, even in today's society, if a boy does something like this and he goes and cheats, gets caught outside, then mostly family members say that he's a boy, it happens. And they don't leave the girl so easily.

Why do we punish women more than men for the same mistake? We have to go on an evolution cycle. All your questions are coming from evolutionary psychology. This is a class of evolution and sociology. Why do people say this about man? There is a concept of undisputed paternity behind this.

You have heard of a man named Karl Marx. Karl Marx had a friend, Friedrich Engels. This concept is very old,. He wrote this concept.

If you see what is the basic need of people's family. Property is still in the hands of males more than 90%.

I am saying apart from personal property, which is private property. Personal means my handkerchief, my glasses, my clothes. Private means my house, my property, my bank balance, etc. Because males have always worked outside, the properties were always in their name. Then in almost all the social systems, the property is given to the son from the father. This is the case with Hindus.

Whether you consider it as a metaxar or a daibhag, two systems work in our society. The property is given to the son. of You have worked hard all your life to earn property. And you want to give your son property before you die. Now there is a page here. How is this guarantee that the one whom I consider my son is my son? What is the guarantee of this? How do I establish undisputed paternity?

Today it is possible with DNA fingerprinting. But 50 years ago, how was it possible in the entire human history? There was only one way. That a woman should have a physical relation with only this man. And she should not have so much exposure that exposure to go in a relationship with anyone else. If a person goes to four places, then there is no danger to his property.

If a woman goes somewhere and gets pregnant somewhere else, then he will give all his hard given to someone else's child. That's why the property was safely given to the next generation. It was necessary that the physical intimacy

circle of women should be so controlled that there should be no intrusion. And as per the Marxist socialist thinkers like Friedrich Engels, this is the basic reason behind monogamy. Now, if you go to Uttarakhand,

there is a place called Khas near Dehradun. It is called Jonesar Bawar Paragraha near Dehradun. Khas tribe lives there. Go to Himachal, Hatti tribe. There was a new Susan, she was very popular there. I'm talking about India. I'm talking about three tribes. Khas in Uttarakhand, Hatti in Himachal, Toda in Nilgiri Hills. The system is still in place. And this is only in those societies where the property is very less. If three brothers get married, the property will increase.

You can't share the property. You can't do anything. You can't do anything.

You can't do anything.

You can't do anything. And this is only in those societies where the property is very less. If three brothers get married, the property will be divided. The property cannot be divided. And all three brothers have the same wife. Now all the children will be of the same age. In the next generation, all the brothers will have the same wife. The property will remain the same.

It will not be divided. The systems of property have properly defined the systems of marriage. property systems undisputed paternity human history But if a girl goes to that school, then the whole system will be challenged, which has been transferred to our property. And that's why you will see that the bond of ethics that is established on daughters

in the house, is not established on sons. After 12th class, if a son goes to study abroad, it is not as that. But not in the case of a daughter. The brain is the same. The subconscious and unconscious elements of the evolution cycle are sitting in the brain. They do the same thing.

The justification is different. If someone says, leave it. Even they don't understand why we are doing this. They don't know what's sitting in their unconscious mind. Unconscious means something that

they don't know what is sitting here.

True.

But it is sitting. You have talked about the negative.

But people still get married.

See, there is a whole package of marriage. That is a package. If that package is giving more benefit on cost benefit, then people are doing it. Because there are not only sexual needs. There is companionship, commitment, friendship. There are four or five things that are considered in marriage.

First of all, you have to satisfy the sexual needs. Today people say that they have a lot of other options, so they don't focus on that. But 100-50 years ago, that was the only option. That's why they were in the centre. What is it today?

The second was parenthood. If I want to be a father of a child, I need someone to be with me. I need a mother too. So, parenthood. The third is that if I am a parent, I also need to do the initial socialization of the child.

I want him to become a good person at the age of 18, like I want him to be. So, should become a good person, as I want. So, marriage is needed for that too. One person is needed who takes care of that child day and night, and make him a good person. Who will do that?

The spouse will do it. Now, I am talking from the male angle. Fourth, when the children grow up, I will not be able to work, I will not be able to work. I will grow old. Who will talk to me? I need someone.

So to share my sorrows and happiness, from now on, and especially in the age when I will not be physically very fit, there should be someone to share my emotions, to talk heart to heart, to have companionship. There should be someone. Who will that be? to share, heart to heart, to talk, to have a companionship. Who will that be? The same person who has spent 25-30 years with you, who has been with you every day, and now you have become a companion.

These 3-4 factors work. The fifth one is financial stability. If both are working, then both will make a home together. One is working, the other will be dependent on it. And if there is a crisis in the future and I am not able to work, at least someone can take care of the family. This is a little assurance.

This is a big reason for a joint family. If one brother is not able to work, at least the rest of the family will take care of him. A joint family becomes a system like insurance. These are four or five things. Now, if someone does not need a person for physical needs, or if he does not have a commitment to one, or if he does not have the needs. There is a term nowadays, asexual, which is LGBTQA.

Some people are not sexual, they do not have the needs. They do not have the desire to have that kind of intimacy with anyone. They do not have the first reason. Those who know that they are polyamorous, reason to be intimate with anyone. Those who know that they are polyamorous, they cannot be with anyone, they have to lie in life. Why lie? Let it be, they don't.

They don't have the first reason. Those who don't want to become a father or a mother, it's clear, they don't have a second reason. Those who think that they can be friends with just one person, but he needs 100 friends, he needs a whole group of friends. For that, he has to do companionship.

Those who live with one person and get bored in 10 days, and cannot tolerate each other after that, that companionship does not work for them. I will get bored in 10 days, who will live with me for 40 years? Those who are extrovertsverts who roam around all day, who don't feel like staying at home,

why would they want to stay at home? Why would someone call them repeatedly and ask them when they will come back? So, the free-thinking people who want to go into politics, do some big social work, start up, do research in science,

and they enjoy so much in research that it is their first love. They want to live a spiritual life. Those who don't want to be a part of the family, who don't want to have children, who don't want to be a parent, they will have to get used to it gradually. Those who are doing it, they are doing it because they are family men type people. They want to do it. Either they are family men type people. They feel like it.

Either they don't think much.

Either they don't think much or they are under family pressure. Because you are thinking why should I get married? Parents are pressurized. Uncle, aunt, everyone is telling their father that the child has grown up, get married, it will be out of your hands. They are pressurizing themselves.

At some emotional moment, they say, Son, I have a heart attack. I just want to die seeing you with your wife. What will you do in such a situation? So, many children destroy their lives for the happiness of their parents. And this happens in a generational way.

So, there are many marriages where children don't want to get married. I mean, not with that individual, they don't want to. Just because the parents have said such a thing, such an emotional blackmail that what to do now. Why did you get married? I am an ordinary person.

If I felt okay, I did it.

Family man. I am not a super, if I feel like it, I do it. Family man.

I am not a super family man, but it's okay. I mean, there is a family man and I am an extrovert in some matters. You said something that if you have to do something big, then you think not to get married. Do you feel that if you are very ambitious and you want to achieve a lot in life, then the family structure slows you down? There are two answers to this.

For example, if Narendra Modi or Yogi Adityanath had married, if Mamata Benarjee had married, if Vajpayee had married, if APJ Abdul Kalam had married him, then I think he would not have achieved as much as he has. Because after marriage, your responsibilities increase. It is the responsibility of the whole family. There will be children and their responsibilities.

At least you will not be able to give 24 hours in that mission that you have thought of. That is why it is generally believed that if you are with a mission, that mission, to Even if you want to become Elon Musk, you don't have to get married. Work 24 hours a day. No problem. But it is possible today. This startup culture, which has corporate capitalism, that you take out some money from somewhere, give some shares, work, then get valuation done, sell more shares,

bring in the IPO, take out the shares, collect all the money. If there is a family, then give it to the next generation. Otherwise, give it to the society and die. This corporate capitalism is a 100 years old thing. What were the business structures before that? There will be only one family, he will run the business, the next generation will get

it.

That's why you will see that before the startup culture, business was run more in those families where the family system system both rigid. Or family system rigid now. To intergenerational business nature. God is not selling a team by him. Or do you know Missy a production

deck that marketing deck that Excel's. Joint family parents. No one has the dream of being separated. All three of them will be married to such women who are from such families, who know how business works.

Who will never kiss the property for the rest of their lives. Who will never go against their husband. Now, these three brothers and their wives have such a community to Even their marriages, no matter how smart they are, no matter how much they live in Bombay, when they get married, their family will force them to marry a boy of their own culture, a boy who can take care of the joint family. As long as this continues, this kind of structure of business will continue. Where love marriages and all that started happening, inter-caste, inter-religious, educated spouses started becoming,

who will ask for their rights, who will talk about the law, it will be scattered. So, for traditional businesses to run, a special rigid family structure is very important. In the world of start-up, in the world of corporate capitalism, where you can sell and buy shareholdings, there, relatively family structure is relatively easy, you are individual or single, so that work will be done. It couldn't be done before. So, Tata, Birla, whoever they are, the big families, you study their family structure.

The Parsi people have come so far in India, the Jews have come so far in their businesses. In the Parsi people, inter-religious marriage is almost impossible. Smriti Irani has become Smriti Irani from Smriti Malhotra. She has gone to a Parsi family. This is a big sin. In Persian families in India, and the Jewish families, it are almost impossible. Because they know that the structures they have built will be destroyed. But the girl can go, the boy cannot leave.

They avoid it there too. But relatively it is easier for the girl to come from outside. They avoid it there too. Because cultural differences sometimes trouble them. Because we are talking about start-ups, corporate capitalism. Have you seen any pattern that has reached the top in this world?

Are their relationships almost bad or are they single? I mean, the 3-4 examples you are thinking about and saying. Most of the examples are that which reached the top from zero in the same generation. top pe pohache eki generation mein. From politics, like from our Prime Minister to someone like

let's say Elon Musk to Steve Jobs to...

Nee, nee, relationship kharab hai, yeh thoda maamda alag hai. Jaise humare aayein politics mein ek parampara hai ki agar aapko politics mein jaana hai toh aap biwaah na kare, ya If you want to go to a marriage, then you should not get married or live together. From the beginning. I will not call this a relationship of getting spoilt. They have the clarity that I will not be able to keep two boats in one. Right? I will not be able to take care of my country, party or the responsibility of knowledge.

I will not be here. I will not call this a relationship breakdown. In the sense of a relationship breakdown, the examples that you may be thinking of, can be of Musk, you can talk about Bill Gates, you can talk about Steve Jobs, you can talk about Jeff Bezos.

This is it.

The founder is also from Facebook. We haven't seen this there. He has a beautiful relationship. So it's not necessary that by breakingiling the relationship you will become successful. It's not necessary. I think what happens in this is,

let's say they are in a relationship. The relationship is good, not bad, not great. If the relationship is not great, it's normal, and life is also normal, then it will continue. If they become very successful all of a sudden, to He has a lot of money now. He has billions of rupees. And he is feeling at home that the relationship is not going well. Now he feels that the whole world is at his feet, everything is fine. So why can't I be separated?

I will pay the price. I will give so much money for divorce that you too will become the richest woman in the world. You can spend as much as you want. You are happy with me, I am happy with you. Why should we be bound by social pressure? It is said that after great success and before getting success, relations break.

Relations remain at the middle level. Why? You cannot afford to separate at the middle level. Why? You cannot afford to be alone at the middle level. You feel that there are already many challenges going on, I will take one more challenge without any hesitation. So people manage, they manage the work.

That's why, yes, if someone's life time is very successful, then it is possible that many of his relationships will be spoiled. He will have friends, uncle, aunt, uncle, everyone will have. Because a bad relations with his friends. He will have bad relations with his uncle, uncle, aunt, everyone. Because he is the only successful person in all of them. He has a lot of expectations from everyone. Who all will he handle?

So, relations get bad. Now, in one family, everyone is rich. Everyone's start-ups are going well. One more is going well. No problem. There is no pressure.

There is no problem in the whole family. No one will demand anything. Everyone is already in that status. So if you become very successful suddenly, then the risk of your relations getting spoiled increases. Do you feel, loneliness is increasing a lot in the whole world, so do you think as individuality grows, individual ambition and money grows, will loneliness increase?

One of the factors that leads to loneliness is loneliness and meaninglessness. These are the two next pandemics. Let's call them epidemics. Loneliness epidemic is said to have started today. In big cities, it is still there. There are many factors of loneliness.

Male loneliness is considered to be a bigger epidemic.

Why?

Males are not very expressive. Because they are not expressive, their circle gradually gets narrowed. School and college friends are their last friends. In the workplace, some people become like friends, but they are not as deep as friends. There is more competition, but less in the workplace. The good thing about women is that they are very expressive.

They are not apologetic about their emotions. If there is emotion, there is. If there are tears, there are. What's the problem with that? Neither does the society tell them that they should apologize for it. The society feels good that women cry. How emotional, how good.

People feel bad when men cry. There is a big study in this, if you want to read. There was a woman named Nancy Kodoro. She was in the tradition of Sigmund Freud. Sigmund Freud is the most controversial man in psychology. He is deep most controversial man in psychology. He is deeply controversial.

He tried to prove that women are inferior to men. They are inferior. And the castration complex, like he talked about the Oedipus complex, the Electra complex, he talked about many complexes. The first love of a daughter is her father, this is called the Electra complex. The first love of a son is his mother, this is called the Oedipus complex. The first love of a daughter is her father, which is called the Electra Complex. The first love of a son is his mother, which is called the Oedipus Complex.

Every woman feels inferiority within her, which is called the Castration Complex. So, she believed that because the genital part of women is introvert, male's part is extrovert. So, the girls feel from childhood that there is something missing in them. And if we give the name of this complex as castration, then the women are filled with inferiority. They feel like this from the beginning.

It was a strange thing, but she said it.

In the same tradition, a woman came, but he said it.

In his own tradition, a woman came, Nancy Kodoroff. And she gave a concept to her own guru, not a straight guru, but a tradition. And the name of that thesis is The Male Inexpressiveness. This is the name of it. The Male Inexpressiveness. So, he told why males are inexpressiveness. This is the name of it. The male inexpressiveness. So, he told us why males are inexpressive. There are other aspects of it, but his is considered very interesting. When a child is born,

Freud used to say that a son loves his mother, a daughter loves her father. And we will see this generally. That boys generally prefer their mother, especially after growing up. And for daughters, whatever happens with their father's family, it remains with them. Nancy Kodore said that no, whether it is a daughter or a son, the first love of both is the mother. Because the mother is fulfilling all their needs.

What is the need of a small child? To get food, to get milk. And when she is wet, someone can wipe her. That's all she needs. And usually, the first thing is done by the mother.

The second thing is done by the mother. So the first sense of the child is that this woman is my whole world. She solves all my problems. Now, when the child grows up, let's say there is a twin, a son and a daughter. Now, at the age of 7-8, at the age of 6, it becomes necessary that the mother starts keeping the son away from her.

This is very interesting. Biologically, the sexual drive in the son starts at a very young age. He is not able to understand. He does not know what it is. But if you look at it at a physical level, it is clear that sexual drives manifest at a very young age. This is seen by both the mother and the father. So they have a sense that the boy is older, so they should keep him at a distance from the mother. to to And the parents feel that it is not socially right that the son sleeps with the mother.

So they separate him. He rebels. When he rebels, the mother gets very emotional. Then the father comes in between. If he doesn't listen to her, then the father comes and commits violence, beats him, threatens her. In this process, the boy develops hatred in him. Especially from his father.

And from his mother as well. And he slowly feels in that hatred that I don't want to be a part of this world. And from there he feels that he has to prove himself in the outside world. That's why boys don't usually step inside the house. They enjoy the outdoors more. They will always roam outside.

The world inside the house makes them restless. And from there, they become inexpressive that they don't want to express their emotions in front of them. Once they do it, they see it. They don't understand it. So, he starts digesting his emotions, drinking it. to hasil kar ronga aur unconsciously wo dikha dena chahata hai apne parents ko ki dekho main kya hoon. Yeh Nancy Kodoro ki vaikhya hai. Koi bhi ek vaikhya final nahin hoti

hai. Bahut sari vaikhya hai. Par haan, male inexpressiveness ki ek vaikhya yeh hai. Doosra evolutionary vaikhya dekhen to wo bichara hamshase testosterone le ke ghoom raha tha He was roaming around with testosterone. What are the results of testosterone? Moustache, anger, aggression, sexual drive. He does not understand beyond that. The brain runs fast because if you want to hunt, you have to apply a lot of brain, otherwise you will be hunted. So you have to run your brain very fast.

So his prefrontal cortex is very developed. Testosterone is developed Due to sexual drives, testosterone is developed. Due to that testosterone, he gets very angry. He has aggressiveness. This is his basic personality in evolution. He doesn't have those emotions. Compassion, compassion, love, all these emotions are there or not?

He doesn't have that much emotion.

No idea.

This is what we have started to talk about after Jesus Christ, Buddha, Mahavira, Rupanishad. And all these things are so old. The last 5000 years. Homo sapiens are 3 lakh years old. And if we add all the evolution, it is 350 crore years old. In a history of 350 crore years, how much history of 5000 years, how much will it change our behavior?

True.

So, if males are inexpressive, then it's a part of view. If you just look at anecdotal incidents, from the point of view of society,

in that, men have to pay a tax of emotion somewhere.

Yes, if they cry, they will feel bad.

If you are emotional, then you have to pay a tax.

This is why you feel like this. Because you must have seen and heard a lot about this side. This problem is more with women. If she talks to someone with a smile, people judge that either she loves me or she is not good. Character is not good.

No matter how much a person talks with a smile, no one judges. They do. Now they do. They judge by smiling. is not right. No matter how much a person smiles while talking, no one judges. Let's do it now. Let's judge by smiling. Nowadays, if you talk with a lot of laughter, people judge you. I don't know. I think they are idiots. Because we have not seen the same amount of judgment in boys when they talk to a girl with a smile.

It is as much as a girl's judgment in talking to a boy. So I think that being a victim of a judgmental society is something that women have to face more than men.

Dad, I also agree that they have to face more problems.

But they don't get punished for being expressive. Yes, not for being expressive. That's their evolutionary perspective. The boy gets punished for being expressive. If the girl doesn't cry, then the parents are in a dilemma. Especially during the time of Dolly, the time of farewell. This happens in many homes. The girl doesn't feel like crying, she is enjoying it.

The one she loves is getting married, she is feeling like it. She is bored of going home, she feels like going. But there she has to cry. So, no doubt, she should apply glycerin or something, but it is very important. It should be in the video that the daughter was crying. Sometimes the groom starts crying.

The wife is coming, she is not crying, the groom is crying. He feels that he has been left at home. Then his video is made, see how beautiful the groom is. But if the boy cries, the parents are worried. If he doesn't cry, they are worried. Because they have become types.

It is going on, social norms. There are other types, norms. We were talking about loneliness. Do you feel lonely? Yes, a lot. I am in a situation where I feel lonely.

I am the senior in my organization. There are around 1500-2000 people working. I can't joke with anyone. I can't joke with my friends. 150 teachers work with me. I can't joke with anyone, I can't be friends with anyone. 150 teachers work with me, I can't joke with them because I am their head. I can't be friends with students, they can share anything with me, but I can't.

So I often tell them that I can be friendly with you, but not the friend. You can be friend with me. Whatever you have in your mind, you can come and tell me. I will listen to it without judgment. I will give you advice. But I can't do it. My school and college friends were all busy in different places.

And there was no free communication because differences are made. Although I have 3-4 good friends today. So, this is people don't have that. It's their destiny. They have to bear it. And wherever I go, my image reaches me first. Now, the image of a teacher is that people talk the same way. So, no one talks very comfortably.

There is a formality, a courtesy. So, if someone is not able to talk openly anywhere, then he will be lonely. But most of the time, it's not with men?

In different quantities. If he can't speak to me, then he must be lonely. But most of the time, he doesn't talk to men?

In different quantities. I mean, he doesn't talk to me as much as he does to me. But it has to happen after a certain level, because you can't be expressive.

Have you ever cried?

Yes, yes, yes. When was the last time you cried? What I remember is that in the last 20-25 years, I have cried only once, when my mother died. But from the day she died to the day she died, it happened many times. What was the exact thought in your mind?

I felt that it didn't make a big difference to me because I am generally very detached. I have the strength to bear anything. So, it doesn't make a big difference to me. I can live with it. So, when she was sick, she went to the hospital for the last 3-4 years.

She felt that she won't survive for 2-3 times. But we were able to handle it every time. When she had her heart surgery for the last time, there were two operations in his lungs and heart. The doctors were very good and they were hopeful that he would be safe. He died at the age of 12. This was in 2018, 7 years ago.

The surgery was done on 9th November. We were very hopeful that he would be fine on 9th and 10th. After that, there would be no problem. On the night of 10th, he started to get sick and died on the 12th. And before going to the operation theatre, she was very happy and confident. She was reading a novel.

While reading, she stopped and said that this novel is over. Give me the next novel. After this, I will read whatever I want. She was reading the last novel, time. And when she was in Jharji theatre, I also started talking about the novel. I asked her what happened in it, what happened to Chandrasudha. She narrated the whole story and then she left happily.

She was 100% confident that I will be fine. But she was not successful in the operation. So when she left, the emptiness that was felt, then I started crying. After 3-4 days, there is a fourth day in our tradition. It is a Shraddhani Reshabha, and there are about 1000 people there. My father said that I should take care of the stage.

And many people have to be invited to speak.

So I said, okay.

When I sat there, the problem was that I couldn't speak. As soon as I started speaking, I couldn't speak.

As soon as I started speaking, I stopped crying.

I couldn't speak for 3-4 minutes. I was sitting in front of thousands of people. I struggled to speak a word. I couldn't speak. Then he managed to speak. Then also there was a problem. After half an hour, he was able to speak.

It was a 1.5-2 hour program. I felt very relieved from that seat that I am not a complete stone yet. And the good thing is that it's been 7 years now, but even today when I remember those things, I still feel something like that. Otherwise, in the last 25 years, I have not noticed that I have cried even once.

You think a lot. So, have you thought about this? About what? What was the reason for crying? Is it emptiness? Is it that no one will be there with me?

Is it that I have spent less time? Is it regret?

What?

All things. Guilt is there. Is it regret? What's the biggest? to to and if we couldn't handle it in a month, then it would have been a bigger guilt. Why didn't we get it done? So, I could spend less time. Emptiness was more that it wasn't there.

What was your favorite? Any of their favorite habits that you liked a lot?

Something that they did with you? They used to have a lot of fun with me. I have a couple of memories. One is when they used to joke with me a lot. I have a couple of memories. One is when he used to go to school. The same school where I used to study.

We are three brothers. We studied there.

He used to teach there.

So, one of our favorite things was that I used to decide what saree he would wear every day. So, he used to call me and ask me what saree I should wear. I liked a couple of his sarees a lot. I used to ask them to wear them. So that selection of sarees is a memory of mine. There was a Coca-Cola shade saree, I mean a chocolate shade saree,

chocolate and white. That was my favorite. So she used to wear it a lot on my request. Secondly, I loved eating potatoes as a kid. Potato curry was my favorite vegetable. So, they named me Alu Priya. I used to call her by this name whenever they used to make vegetables.

One of their favorite dishes was yellow-colored semolina pudding. It was very popular in our family. They must have made it. Even now, when my wife makes it, we eat it in the memory of her. That it is a motherly taste. She was a teacher, she used to work, she used to be very worried about the household chores.

The three of us used to trouble her a lot. So, sometimes she used to get very upset. So, she would hit me with a broom and throw me out of the house in anger. So all those memories are in my mind. So I used to like it a lot that she threw me out of the house and then came back.

Today she sees everything about you. And if she scolds you now, what would she scold you for?

One of her last wishes was that she would often tell me to become religious, to worship God, to have faith in God. I don't have any faith, but I don't have any faith either. I am agnostic. So she felt that I should somehow get her on the right path. And I could never explain to them what my thought process is. And in my thought process, there is no intention of insulting religion or God. The intention is that my curiosity has not yet reached the point where I can do religious

activities without any worries. My father thinks that he is a person who does the holy rites daily, my wife does the puja daily, there is a temple and a yagya shala in the house. But they all respect the fact that I am agnostic. So when there is a puja program at home, I sit in it. I respect everyone. But no one pushes me.

Neither do I push anyone. So in our house, everyone has their own religious beliefs. Everyone's political parties have different likes and dislikes. So everyone walks in their own way. If we move ahead and talk about those who see you as a teacher, mostly, and more than a teacher,

mostly there is a hope that he will make us win in life. There is a way in which he will make us move forward. Right? Let's see according to ambition, to become successful. Many of your attempts failed. Do you ever feel that I am teaching people because I was left with a lack, I am teaching them to do that. to I mean, first of all, I was selected in UPSC in the first attempt, which is a very rare thing in itself. I think the people selected in the first attempt in UPSC, if there are 1000 people in a year,

I don't think there are more than 200 in a year, who have been selected in the first attempt. So I am one of them, so I am proud of it. Yes, I did not get a proper IAS. This is true. So in our field, in the domain, all the coaching institutes,

if there are 100 or 200 teachers, then only 2 or 3 of them were selected and teach by designing. I am one of them. So, I don't get this feeling. Secondly, I have a clear clarity that being a good player and being a good coach are two different things.

No matter how good Achalekar is, he could not become Tendulkar. And Tendulkar may not become Acharya Karna. So, being a good player is a different skill. Being a coach is a different skill. So, because I was studying, teaching, debating from the beginning, so there was this clarity that even if I don't succeed, I can get it done.

I know how to do it, but maybe done. I know how to do it. But maybe I can't execute it. Like my handwriting, it was very bad till the last attempt. Now I consciously know that good handwriting is very important to get a good rank. But my handwriting is bad. No matter how much I try, I am not able to do it right.

So I already know that maybe I won not be able to get a good rank. But if I teach the person who has good handwriting, he will get it. So, I never felt that to be a good coach, you yourself have to be a good player. It is very important. Yes, experience is important. You have played the game. And if I have played a game, I always had that confidence.

I am not talking about coach and player. I am asking that about coach and player. I am asking that there are many teachers worldwide, you see, the high achieving mentors specifically, they have a cognitive dissonance somewhere inside. Say a kind of a burden of a guru,

that he is very high achieving. He feels that I am winning publicly, and I am winning as win. And I am making all the people win. Inside, I sometimes ask myself, is it right or not? Can I become it or not? Or am I a fraud from inside?

Like, in my mind, I am just thawed.

I am just asking so many things that you think about. There are two or three things. First, if it's a selection of a child, I don't stay in the wrong mindset that I have selected him. I don't let this feeling come to me from far. I believe that in an exam like Civil Services, if a child is very capable, then only he will be successful.

And a teacher has a role, but the child has more of a role. capable, to hi vo safal hoga. Aur teacher ki ek bhomika hoti hai, lekin zyada bhomika bachche ke hi hoti hai. Toh is dhauns me rehna hi nahi hai ki maine select karwa diya hai. Bachcha hi select hua hai. Haan, bachcha kisi kisi maamle mein kuch ko samajhne mein dikht He has given the right way. He had doubts in answer writing skills. I checked the answers and told him how to write. He worked hard and he succeeded. Number one. I cannot guarantee any child that I will make him succeed. I know this limitation.

Especially in civil service exam, no one should claim that he can make any child IAS. It should not be done. At least You shouldn't do it. I don't do it at least. I tell my students on day one, in the class I go to, that there is no guarantee that you will be successful. If you have this source, this guarantee, then take it back. We will try together. You do it, we do it. There are chances that you will qualify for an IAS or PCS or some good exam. And if you work hard for 2-3 years, write a lot of answers, write tests, then there is no reason not to get selected somewhere.

So when you talk so transparently, then there is no guilt. What is fraud? Is fraud when you lie? No, personally, does it feel like guilt from inside? One, I got selected. And second, I have seen many teachers who were not selected. But they are very good teachers.

Incredible teachers. And there are many papers. If you score well in all of them, you will become an IAS. Suppose, out of 9 papers, someone had a great score in 3. The rest were not great in 6. So he did not become an IAS.

And he is teaching the same 3 papers. Which were great. And he is teaching the same three papers in which Shandar was teaching. So, there is no problem. And you have seen so many people becoming successful. In IAS, outside and in life and observing.

What do you think for one biggest habit or metric in a person that makes him successful?

Discipline.

That's it.

There are many names for that discipline. The most beautiful name is perseverance. The other name is hard work. You can call it patience. Whatever you want to call it. But perseverance is the best word.

It includes everything. Is there any such habit? Except discipline. It depends. Discipline is a trait of a person. Perseverance is also a trait. Perseverance means to keep your target in mind and work hard for it on a low flame for

a long time. In which it will succeed sooner or later in any field. It has nothing to do with a habit. It can wake up any time in the morning. Habits have rituals in them to do with habits? Habits are rituals. Have you seen any rituals that are successful? No. I have seen such kids who wake up at 4 in the morning

and become IAS. I have seen such kids who sleep at 4 in the morning and become IAS. It doesn't make a lot of difference. What type of people become successful? Or what type of people don't become successful? It depends on the field. If you are in the film industry, you can be successful with a guess.

You can't be successful with a guess in UPSC. Right? Now you are born in a big house, where you will get chances to become a hero again and again. One film got a hit. The role is such that you don't need a deep acting,

you need a good acting. You did it. You became a superstar. So the biggest role in that is that you were born in that house. The rest of the things don't matter that much. In some things, practice plays a big role. For example, you want to do classical singing.

Whether you are born in a classical singer's house or somewhere else, you will have to practice for 10-20 years. Singer film industry, hero world, mainly do this work. By mainly, I mean to a great extent. Then there is one more thing, whichever field you want to go, the basic aptitude of that is a given by nature. A person who has low IQ and poor motor skills, he cannot become a creator, a good bats. He cannot become a good batsman.

To become a good batsman, it is very important to have a good IQ. Very fast processing of thoughts is very important. A ball is coming at a speed of 150. In that one second, you have to see the ball, the angle, keep all the fielders in mind. You have to touch the bat at what moment, at what angle, at what speed, so that the ball goes where you want it to go.

Such fast processing, such fast motor skills, and the beast that will scratch itself, that will become Virat Kohli. This is not a joke. So, before choosing a field, you should check your aptitude. But, a lot of people, who are top 10 or top 15 players,

they are not able to become top 2 or top 3. Even though they practice the same way, there won't be much difference in IQ.

There will be.

There will be a difference in aptitude. There will be a difference in different. It will be. There will be a difference in aptitude. There will be a difference in capabilities. There will be. And if there are not all the differences, then it is a coincidence. It is a matter of chance.

The psychological state can make a difference. It can be that you are in form or not. And the basic meaning of form is that you are very comfortable or not. Your mind and body very comfortable or not. Your mind and body are connected or not.

In general, there is no difference in belief. There can be a difference in confidence too. If you have good self-confidence, then your form should be better. It will be in form. A very good player is continuously getting out of the match. No one is able to understand why he is doing it.

The same IQ, the same aptitude. Exactly, it's the same type of skills, the same 25 years of hard work. And then it's in form, so it's been going on for centuries. What is form? It's very abstract, very subjective. There is no description of it. Confidence also works in this. Misunderstandings also work in this.

Superstitions also work in this. In total, the day your whole mind, body and soul are in synergy, you are very comfortable with yourself. There is no pressure on you. You are playing as yourself. So there are chances that you will do wonders.

That day, the ball of cricket looks like a football. And now it becomes a ball of table tennis. Because I played cricket for a long time in school. So I have an idea of what happens. True.

You are in your form. This is needed in everything in life.

How can you come in form? If I talk about teaching, what happens in teaching is if you teach with an open mind, then the things that are different at first, after a while, start connecting in the mind. They connect automatically.

Then the preparation and the teaching that you do, a lot of it disappears. And it gets better every time. And in my life, it happened a couple of times that I went to take a class and by chance I couldn't finish it. Otherwise, I teach before the class class so that there is no injustice.

I study even today. A couple of times I was travelling, it was time for class, traffic jam. I had to reach half an hour before class, I couldn't reach. I reached on time, I got up in the class. And I found that in those days, I had the best class in those days. Because when you are not ready, your randomness, there are a lot of dots that were never connected before.

Latticework comes out strong. Now they are connected. In psychology, it is said that if the neural pathways are fixed, then creativity will not come. True. Creativity means that some dots are connected which are not normal.

That day you are not remembering anything, so new dots are getting connected. So as you get used to it, you keep reading new things, after one level, there is a convergence in the mind, there are connections. Then whatever you teach is not written in any book. You will get tired of searching for it in a book. You will not find it anywhere.

Because it has many books, experiences of many lives, and creativity. All of it is merged together to make a Halwa. It is neither in flour, nor in sugar, nor in milk. It is made in a different way. This is in every field.

What happens in cricket is that you have played 20,000 balls, 2 lakh balls. And one day a ball came which was different from all the others. Suddenly your mind said, let's try a new shot on this. You have played the bat differently which has never happened in history. And the bat went off. And people said, this is a helicopter shot, a drone shot.

A new shot was made. And people said, this is a helicopter shot, a drone shot.

A new shot was made. In that special moment, your entire collective experience is saying that no, this will require something new. In that fraction of a moment, in the 100th second, your brain sent a new shot. You executed it, and it became famous in history. hisse mein aapke dimaag ne ka naya shot bheja. Aapne execute kiya, ur teehas mein naam ho

gaya aapka. Toh lambe abhyas ke baad aapki motor skills, aapka IQ bhaithar ho, kuch creative thoughts ka scope chhod rakha ho, toh kuch innovations hote hain. Shreyas se example Some people have made AI films. 2-3 films have been made in India which are AI based. Yesterday I went to a film institute to give a lecture. There I told that the new concept of the world is of neurofilms. After 10 years people will wear helmets in the cinema hall. All electrodes will be fixed inside the helmet.

Film is not fixed. It can be 2.5 hours or 3 hours. electrodes fix on film fix me or die in the game team and the music be sub cut connection a software cassette or bar of sky display channel a gun I a set song a was gonna get purpose a kiss up cool Rona a smear or a key I could get a similar one cool signal the pata like a key up a stage in Paul's a great one to cry in it. And your tears of tears are not important. They are getting to know from the signal whether you have reached that stage or not. Thousands of people are sitting in the theater and the dashboard is telling that 880 people have cried.

It's been 5 minutes. So the film is so smart that the song will automatically extend for a minute. And after a minute, I saw that 999 people have cried.

Now the song will end. And after a minute, he saw that 999 people had cried.

Now the song will end. A scene comes, a fast suspense scene. The machine catches the signals of fear. And he saw that the scene was of 3 minutes, but people got scared in 2 minutes. So the scene will become shorter. And such a film will interact with the audience at such a level that judging the emotions of the audience, the length and breadth of the film will increase or decrease.

Now, the person who makes the first neurofilm at this level, will be the king of that industry. There are dangers in the world, but no one thought that we can make civilization on Mars. And I have to take people from here to Mars. So he will do it. The world is entangled in petrol and diesel cars. And they say that we don't have to make an engine.

The car will run on battery. Do we need an engine? All the companies are busy with the development of the engine. They say, why do we need an engine? Battery, that's it. They changed the game by making a Tesla.

Why do you need a driver? The car will run on its own. Put sensors, a car will run better than a human being. Now they are saying, why do you need to talk to communicate? Will you put a chip in your brain? You have a chip in your brain, I have a chip in my brain.

You don't have to talk. This is the connection with telepathy. The one who thinks so new and executes it, he will be the king. That's why his company will pay him 1 trillion dollars in a year. There is so much novelty in it.

Do you think technology, the way it is moving forward, it will destroy humanity?

And us?

To be honest, AI is different from all the technologies we have seen so far. We can't say that it has happened before. It is different. What technologies have done so far is that they have controlled our motor skills. For example, when we used to drive a rickshaw, it became a car, it became so easy. When a train was made, it became so easy.

When thousands of people would drive together, the train's engine would be so much faster. When an airplane was made, it was all fine. But the greatness and superiority of human beings were there.

Because, that we are better than animals because our IQ is better. And our IQ keeps us at the top in this whole ecosystem, in this whole world.

When the calculator the calculator, for the first time, our intelligence was challenged by the machine. Calculators do faster and better calculations than us. But because in mathematics, going to that level is very rare in people's case, so it was not perceived as a challenge. How many people do this?

So, we was not challenged. She was not worried about the number of people who were doing it. We had faith that language is so subjective that the machine will not be able to work in language. I had this faith too. She will do it where there are objective results. She will do it in mathematics, in logic. It is okay till there.

So, wherever there is simple logic logic, algorithm will be made. Yes, no. Then yes, there will be two. Then below that. So, whatever can be done in algorithmic thinking, the machine will bypass us through its arithmetic logical unit. So, when 20-25 years ago, a computer defeated a human in chess.

The name was Deep Blue Computer. It defeated Garry Kasparov. It defeated Garry Kasparov. It defeated Garry Kasparov. So, 20-25 years ago, a computer in chess defeated a human being. It was called Deep Blue Computer. It defeated Garry Kasparov in chess.

It was a big event. We were giving UPSC exams. So, there was an event in our GS, Current Affairs. We thought it was a disaster. But now when I look at it in hindsight, it is not a big deal. Chess is a game of logic.

And the logic with which at it in hindsight, it is not a big deal. It is a chess logic game.

And the logic that we won in mathematics, the same logic can win in chess. The algorithm does not work in language. The language is very subjective. What will be the meaning of a word in a language? It is completely arbitrary and random.

The meaning of the word itself is not clear. If one word is said in two different styles, the meaning changes. Like if I ask you, where did you go? Then you say, where did you go? The meaning changes. How will a machine understand at this level? We used to think so.

But we started studying 20 years ago in technology that a project called AI is running. And their target is to make AI, Ultra Intelligent Machine, which will pass the Turing test. Turing test means that you cannot find out whether there is a machine or a human in front of you. It is an old test, about 100 years old. For the last 3 years, okay, for 6-7 years, there was a feeling that something was coming. Because when the machine used to translate, 10 years ago, translators were very confident

that the machine would not be able to do anything and it was not able to do anything. The translation was very bad. The whole movement in EOPSC was in 2014. I was also very active in that. There was a movement. And the accusation was that Google was translating. And Google translates anything. But as Google evolved, many other software started to evolve.

Today, 4-5 years ago, it was visible. Today, if we consider human translation as a benchmark, 100, then in normal language,

technical language, Google's level is 105-110, not less than 100. There is a little bit of a gap in literary and creative. But now they are taking all the idioms, proverbs, idioms into their data and contextualizing them. I think, in the next 3-4 years, they will be more powerful than us. So, for the last 6-7 years, I was wondering how the machine has reached here in terms of language. Then I came to know that large language models have been developed.

There are small language models that we use nowadays. But there are still LLMs. And in the last 1-2 years, I have seen that there is no boundary left. In the matter of language, the computer is writing poems. There is no such thing in research. Now, the next threat is all? The speed and accuracy of processing is being produced by GPUs.

So there is a lot of competition in the world. China is a little behind because they are not getting GPUs. Because the only big company that makes GPUs is Taiwan. So they don't want to give it to China or America. But it's a matter of 2-4-5 years. China will find a way to break it.

Then there will be competition. And I was giving an example in the same speech yesterday, that the Willow chip that Google has developed, it has also controlled the randomness in quantum. It's almost accurate. And how much calculation is it doing, if we understand its speed in technical language?

The world's largest supercomputer takes 1 septillion years to do its calculations. 1 septillion means 24 zeros in front of 1. to the same processing is done by a Willow chip in 5 minutes. I am not saying this, you can search it on the internet. And Willow chip is just the beginning.

I don't know where we will go from here.

If it succeeds at the level of qubits, it will be amazing. It has a lot of benefits. The research that takes 1000 years in medical science, it will be done in 2 years. All diseases will be cured. Cancer will be treated as easily as possible in the next 10-25 years.

In the case of medicines, customized medicines. You will get viral or not. The medicine will not be the same. It will be according to your genome or mine. It will be up to here. Education will be perfect.

AR, VR based education tools will be available. The child will enjoy it. Every child will have a customized teacher, who can be made from a humanoid robot. All this is going to be amazing. But will a human being be superior to a machine in any matter?

This is very doubtful. And the day AGI comes, which some people are saying will come next year, some are saying it will come after 10-20 years. And the day ASI comes, which we call Artificial Super Intelligence. In a few days, a machine will be created which will be more powerful than the collective brains of all the humans in the world. And I think that in the future, if humans are better than machines,

then it will be in the process of emotions, understanding of emotions. And I think that the spiritual experience in emotions, because that too is a very high emotive experience, will not be possible with machines. No matter how much power you put, I don't think it will reach there. to Is there a better way to do it? I have a general complaint about podcasts. It's not about you.

People read it in depth, understand it, and then talk about it. That's a different story. In the world of podcasting in India, most people talk at a shallow level. You are much better than them. But there is no limit in this.

Fair.

So keep reading. Everyone hates Twitter. And everyone loves it. So, the hate of social media is a big part of anonymity. When the other person knows that I will abuse you but he won't know that I have abused you, then he abuses you a lot.

Why?

This is called mob behavior. As soon as a person understands that he won not be able to recognize himself, he comes to his id. Id, ego, super ego, all three words work. Id means he comes to his animal instinct. And when he knows that people are observing him, he goes to his super ego level.

Very ethical, very good. So, mob behavior means the moment this danger is over, people will recognize you. That is, anonymity has come.

Your behavior changes completely. valuable guests. Number 2, tell me in the comments what you liked in this episode and which guests you want to see in this episode in this podcast. And do share this episode with someone who will get a chance

to change something better in their life. Because one conversation can change someone's life. can change someone's life. I'll see you next time, until then keep figuring out.