The best way to blow off steam after a long week? Throw a party. Tonight, Trump's hosting a rager at the White House ballroom. Not the big, beautiful ballroom that's still on the side burner.
Trump's been in renovation mode. The Gilded Oval, the Rose Garden Club, flagpoles that hit the stars. After Trump coaxed Netanyahu into a ceasefire, Trump gave him a 40-minute White House tour. Aides say Don the Builder's obsessed with making the People's House perfect.
Friends who walk in get polled. Which tile do you like better? And then he tells Suzy. Insiders say he's stamping his legacy on the presidency and on the White House forever. No one can get rid of the ballroom. It'll be difficult to take all of the gold away. Who would even do that? Is the next Democrat president going to
be ripping out the polls, patio, and gold? Will there even ever be another Democrat president? Trump's a perfectionist and not only does he have to have everything look beautiful, it has to sound beautiful, too. POTUS is installing new surround sound. It's been battle tested. He picked the same one that's been rocking Mar-a-Lago.
DJ Donny Boy likes to jam out with the iPad. And you know who else used to dig it? Charlie.
Remember Charlie on the patio? He could sit there all night long listening to this music.
The president doesn't just let anything play. He's very particular. Artists are always auditioning for singing gigs at 1600 PAF. Bette Midler not getting a call back.
You never kissed the orange ass. Never kissed the orange ass. Never kissed the orange ass. Oh, you, you, you. You never kissed the orange ass.
Sorry, Bet. The White House needs something with a little more class. And Democrats aren't class acts. Trump's built beautiful architecture. What have Democrats built besides seven car charging stations for $7 billion?
Have you seen Obama's library? Later in the show, we'll have an analysis. Crockett's the face of the party, and the only thing she's built is a shoe collection.
There's a lot of things that people believe is going on. There's an issue with his face. There's an issue with, like, maybe drop foot. And then, cognitively, he's never necessarily been an Einstein, but seems like the decline is happening like this, right?
Like, he's a madman. Like, he crazy.
Maybe Trump is a little crazy. Crazy in love with America. And if Trump's mad, it's because they shot Charlie. It's not like he's Kathy Griffin crazy.
Trump thinks he's the f***ing king. And, you know, he's not. He's barely a president. In fact, guess what? I'm gonna say something that's gonna get me in trouble. I don't think he won in a free and fair election.
You heard me, I'm coming out and saying it myself. I don't care if that means I look crazy because Elon Musk, I don't know if you remember, but he was giving out million dollar checks to people if they would vote for Trump. That's illegal, it's unconstitutional and illegal. So that was
happening and the fact that Trump won all seven swing states, which has never happened in the history of the US, makes it all very suspicious to me. So there I said it.
No one's ever won seven swing states. Reagan and Nixon won 49. According to my calculations, that's seven swing states times seven. If Kamala was robbed and she really won, Hamas would still have the hostages, Iran would still have nukes, and it wouldn't be called the Gulf of America, now would it? Why go back? Mamal is still stuck on stupid.
I was the United States Senator, second black woman elected in the history of the United States Senate. And I was the first woman vice president of the United States. So, there are those things that I needed to make sure that people knew. That is a decent resume, but go ahead.
But there...
Well, some people have actually said I was the most qualified candidate ever to run for
president.
She was senator and then VP. So was Biden, Gore, Nixon, Johnson. Does Kamala being a black woman make her more qualified? Doubt it. But Kamala may have to tell her party to stand back and stand by because the insurrectors are rattling the doors of the Speaker's office.
Swear her in! Swear her in!
Swear her in!
Democrats set up a campsite outside Mike Johnson's door. Swalwell's roaming the halls looking for him.
Any Republicans in here? I don't see any. That's the House floor right now. Those doors are closed. Anyone want to work? Anyone around?
Crickets.
Well, they're not there because the Schumer shutdown wants free health care for illegals. Hips isn't singing mariachi anymore. It's hip hop.
House Republicans shut the government down. Then they ran out of town. And for the last three weeks, they're nowhere to be found.
Pips is moving his lips, but he voted against no tax on tips. Is Schumer rhyming and stealing? We hope not. Trump's worried Chuck has Biden brain.
He's a loser. I've known him all his life. He's always been sort of a loser, but an intelligent one. But I think he's losing IQ points with time. I think that happens. I hope it hasn't happened with me. I know if it did, you guys will let me know about it very quickly.
The only deal Trump's trying to strike is with AOC so that he can keep his job. Since no one's in charge, the party's getting riled up and taking everyone down. The climate mobs are coming for Kamala.
Kamala Harris, you are a right-wing war criminal!
You are a right-wing, you funded genocide! 461 days! You are a war criminal, you sold out the youth,
you sold out the climate.
Shame on you! This is all your fault! This is your fault! We have Trump because this is your fault! This is your fault! We have Trump because this is your fault!
Even Spartacus is getting lit up. Corey's getting called a Nazi sympathizer by Bravo TV hosts. And he's just taking it.
I feel like the opposition needs to be, no, across the board, we're not giving you a centimeter. And I think there's been a lot of capitulation. I think there's been a lot of Neville Chamberlain type appeasement from Democratic leadership. And you're one of them that's kind of been disappointing to me.
The longer this goes on, the more their odds sink. Well, we were looking at the Democrats with a very clear shot of taking control of the U.S. House of Representatives according to the Cauchy prediction market odds. We saw them at an 83% chance.
But those odds have gone plummeting down. Now we're talking about just a 63% chance, while the GOP's chances up like a rocket, up like gold. And it just sunk a little bit more because Democrats want trans shot putters at the Olympics.
My question is whether you think they should compete in women's sport in the Olympics because it's coming to LA, so it's relevant.
I think transgender female athletes are women athletes
and they should be able to compete.
Really?
Democrats want dudes competing against women in the Olympics in LA. They want men playing rugby against women, men playing basketball against women. They want men swimming against women. You're going to be able to see everything in that suit. This woman's running for California governor against potatoes. Any boy might win.
These people have to grow up. They're even praying for the resurrection of the cross-legged Messiah.
Barack Obama remains our LeBron James. He's our closer, and he was our most important elected official in recent history today. Now, obviously, I worked for him, and so I'm kind of in the tank in terms of his ability, but I still think he's our star.
Mm, haven't you heard? There's a new GOAT, Donald J. Trump. J stands for Jordan. Even the raging Cajun says 47's walking on water.
You know what? He did it, and I think he looks, A, he deserves some credit for it. Right. They just do. They're having a legitimate, you know, kind of moment in the sun and that's fine.
Trump brought peace to the Middle East and D.C. Look at Union Station.
Taking my first train in a very long time from Washington, D.C., just walked through Union Station.
Unbelievable. In a very long time from Washington DC, just walked through Union Station.
Unbelievable.
The first time in years Union Station hasn't spelled like piss and booze and they're more like pigeons pooping on everything and homeless people using drugs and bathing in the fountains. It's been incredible.
I was in DC yesterday and every park is pristine. No graffiti, no homeless, and the grass just looks greener. Remember, Trump knows grass. He's making his mark and still has three years to go, maybe more. Presidential historian Newt Gingrich
says he's already way up there. He said I'll go down as the greatest president in history and then he blew it. He, I'm not sure if I put him above Washington or Lincoln. So I'm not that happy about that, dude.
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