You already know what time it is. Dadgum Goob Lagoon episode what,'s make some money, Jack! And let's try not to have no lawsuits or deaths! Let's have a goobtastical day today. You hear me? Let's have us a goobtastic day.
Goobtastic! Hey. Goobtastic. Hey, goobtastic. Now look here. What episode is this, chat? What episode is it? I don't know what, why is my face cammed out here?
What? No, don't know what why my face cam down here What no don't take me again Yeah No! Facecam demon tried to get me again. It's all good.
Look here. Last episode, some crazy stuff happened. We did a whole bunch of upgrades We hired a guy named Benjamin to do maintenance work and somebody literally died in our waterpark, so Yo kitty with the five. Thank you You miss 15 gifted.
Yo Kitty with the 10 before that, W Kitty with the 10 and the five gifted, thank you. Let's go chat, you ready? Let's go. Goob Lagoon episodes five. Chat, if you didn't see, if you didn't see, so for real hold up what should we do wait what should we do by the way this is
what the gooble goon looks like right now as you can tell Oh Benjamin over there you know he he does what he can right he does what he can I need to restock some hot dogs real quick hang on on. Let me go. Let me go buy some hot dogs real quick. Where am I going to buy hot dogs from you ask? Welcome to Kmart. Let me get some of these hot dogs for $25. Appreciate that. Thank you. Let me go get somebody. Let me go them like right here.
Well, there goes $25 down the drain. Okay, cool.
Well, there goes $25, cool. Well there goes $25. Goodbye.
Thank you.
I just, whatever. Lord have mercy. Alright, let's put them, please don't happen again. There we go, we got them on hand. Now you may be asking, or you may be be saying yo that doesn't look very sanitary Well, it is sanitary mind your business. Okay?
It is sanitary. You should mind your business and let me run this operation All right, because you don't you don't understand how to goob lagoon works. You understand me? Okay, what other trash is there? I feel like Benjamin don't do enough. Should we fire him? I Feel like he just really ain't doing that much for me. Kobe, there we go. All right.
Upgrade time. Big decisions are about to be made here, chat. Big decisions. If I do the increased walk speed, that would in turn unlock visitor patience upgrade, which is a big thing because people be complaining
all the time that we take too long. Park. Should we do basic trash bin real quick? Basic loungers. Hammer upgrade. Oh, I feel like we do all three bin real quick basic loungers hammer upgrade Oh, I feel like we do all three of these right here chat i'm not gonna lie pork size I was here, baby!
Oh, that's horrible. to fix a rupper. I was here, baby! Oh, that's horrible. Oh my God. This is, how am I ever, ever gonna make it to where this is doable? Lord have mercy!
Ooh, I like the palm trees though. We gotta get this cleaned up for real. How do I get the, uh, the moss off of this? Destroy everything? Yeah, let's do that. You're right. Chat, we have more room finally. Oh my goodness. That is huge. We finally I was here, chat. Oh my goodness, wait. Should I repair this?
This looks like a good slide, wait a minute. Oh, it's too old, okay, nevermind. Hey, I'm trying to save money any way we can, chat. We got pending lawsuits. It's bad, okay. Let's get this mopped up.
How do I get rid of the green moss? Cuz ain't nobody gonna come over here. You look like you're gonna get a brain-eating amoeba over here We're gonna advertise that yo goob lagoon new area brain-eating amoeba section you come over here if you want to if you like all the thrill seekers come over here and they're like Hey, you have a chance to get a brain-eating amoeba over here So if you're a thrill seeker you come over here for that Dookie what y'all saying some dookie action? Where's there some dookie action?
Y'all don't see no dookie action Wait, I'm mopped up dookie for real. Oh Hey, it's a fixer-upper chat Look at Benjamin Look at Benjamin chat. What you want to work on Benjamin? Okay Okay. Yo, Benj... He's trying to get his workman's comp payout. I can't do this with you, Benjamin.
Stop. Stop acting stupid, man. He wants that workman's comp payout, Chad. I know, I know. You ain't getting it, though. We ain't got no workman's comp. Ben, Chad. I know, I know you ain't getting it though. We ain't got no workman's comp, Benjamin.
It's bad out here. It is what it is. See, y'all seen it, Chad. Y'all know that people got a vendetta against me, Chad. Only reason people come to the Google Lagoon is so they can get some money, that's it.
People don't respect the Google lagoon like they should. Clear that. Y'all doing a good job cleaning this up though. Benjamin, can you help me work on something around here, Bubba? Please?
You good?
He good. He good, yep. He good. Yep.
What is this? Goob Lagoon Legal Team.
Goob Lagoon will settle for $165,000 within 30 days for Dakota's medical costs, lost wages and pain and suffering, resolving all claims without liability the park regrets the hardship and will do its best with limited staff. Our legal team has secured resources to cover the payment directly. Where'd we get the money? Cause I ain't got it here.
Where did we get the money to pay for that? I mean, I'm glad we got it because we I don't got it Was it insurance
Hey, you know I ain't gonna complain I Wonder if I hit the pool and get rid of this old pool if it'll clear all the trash that's in it Yes, it will chat. We really got to do something about this green moss right here
Okay, we're getting it done don't worry
Dude it is gonna be so much better with more room chat Do you understand how big this is for us right now having more room was our biggest need we needed that Alexis with the five Thank you Alexis with the five. I appreciate that
Okay
We the legal team are it's not on you my legal team is covering the expenses from that Oh my goodness W legal team, bro See I told y'all I hired the best of the best I told y'all I pay my legal team a million dollars a month to handle all goop lagoon affairs okay it is what it is had to do it yo Benjamin go back to the other park if you're just gonna follow me around dude I'm trying to work here I just spent so much money to expand this place you're
just walking around you getting used to it like a cat or something Get out of here Bro Lily has the behavior of a cat Oh new area. Let me just walk around for three hours and do nothing Lord have mercy Benjamin. I'm about to fire you Handling all this on my own. What do I pay you for Benjamin?
Can we talk about how much Benjamin gets paid by the way? This dude makes almost $300 a day. You know how much money that is? There's not many jobs that pay you $300 a day. Chat type one if you make $300 a day. 300 a day is, okay what's 300 times 5? We're paying Benjamin $1,500 a week.
$1,500 a week. Which is how much money a month? For this job and he really don't do nothing. Let's be real. Oh, that is Dookie. Oh my, that's Dookie?
Oh. Oh, he's making $6,000 a month. You just realized, I mean, now I'm regretting hiring him, Chad. I'm not going to lie. I regret hiring him low key. Okay. This almost brings a tear to my eye.
Chad, are you proud of the goob lagoon right now? We have so much space. We just got to figure out what to do with it now. I need to clear that trash out real quick.
Hang on.
This is beautiful. The amount of room that this just gave us. Yep. Yep. Yep. Who's laughing? They're laughing at the success of the goob lagoon.
I won't stand for it. Quit laughing. One more trash bag real quick. Here we go. Beautiful. Yep. Yep. There we go. Okay, chat. Listen, I'm dead serious. How do I get rid of this green stuff?
Can we, will we finally turn it into a water park now? What do you mean it doesn't look like a water park over here?
You're telling me this part of it's not a water park?
Oh, paint it? That costs money though, don't it? What color should we paint the floor here?
Wait, floor tool?
Floor tool, where's that maintenance chat what should we do here where is floor tool janitor staff would be huge park tab floor tool we got to Huge. Park tab. Floor tool. We gotta unlock level, we gotta get two stars. Oh no, that's never gonna happen then. We're never gonna get it. Basic toilets, type one if we should do that.
Bigger trash bags. Maintenance, decorations. Do we save? Cause we need stuff to fill this space over here Let's think Okay
Hmm
Chat what do y'all think I Can only afford one pool. But I need a pool here. Should I just put one pool here for now just to keep him happy?
How much is this one?
This one's 200. All these new ones are 200.
Get a loan. How much is this one this one's 200 all these new ones are 200 Get a loan. Oh do I get a loan? Oh, no. No, no Do the circle one It's not as big as this one
Let's do this just for now look at this chat chat. Type one if you're looking. And we're gonna put a raggedy diving board, no a regular diving board. That's what they're gonna get for now, we gotta save. That looks so pathetic, I'm so sad. They this is sunburned central over here. Dude, it is no man's land over here. You go be cooking in the. All right, we have the regular, um, goob lagoon and then we have sunburn central over here to the right.
There is a one in 100,000 chance that you will catch a brain eating amoeba over here though.
So you gotta be careful.
Okay. Move the showers now. Okay, move the showers now, chat should I move the showers low key? That's a long way for people to walk for the, nah we're gonna wait and decide hold on. We're gonna wait on that for now. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we're opening goob lagoon chat with the new and improved brain-eating amoeba zone move a slide over I fear you might have cooked I should move this slide to the middle and one slide over here but then it's not the slide zone anymore. Now let's do it, yeah, let's do it. It's still a slide zone.
I fear that that's beautiful right there, chat, I fear it. Chat, I fear. Oh my goodness, yes! Fix the duck, wait, can I actually fix the duck? No, I actually kind of like the way it looks it looks like it's just got a disease And that's what your first thoughts need to be coming into the goo lagoon
It's like y'all gonna die here and that adds on I'm telling y'all chat that adds to the attraction of this place Like a chance that you're gonna die in here like somebody died died yesterday in here. What was her name? Dakota? She's dead. Um, let's go. Let's open up the new and improved Google Lagoon chat. Let's get it. Ladies and gentlemen, I have the best news ever for every single person that wants to come swim today.
We have an extended area called the brain eating Amoeba Bahama.
You there is a one in 100,000 chance. You will get a brain eating Amoeba. If you swim on the right hand side of the attraction over here. Thank you all for being here so much and without you we would not be able to make this improvement. Thank you. Yo Laney with the five.
Thank you Laney with the five thank you Laney with the five are you trying to get in for free this dude trying to get in for free are you dead two people two people get out of here Griffin get out of here y'all ain't getting here for free no I just I just knew and improved the place all of a sudden everybody wants to get here for free you got me all the way messed up. Get out of here. Have a good one, Olive. Where's the oil at?
Hey, how you doing? What's good, Promise? You promised to have a good time. I promise that you're going to have a beautiful experience here at the Google Lagoon. Thank you so much. What's good, Troy?
What you want? You're going to spend eight hours here. I feel that Olive wants a hot dog already. What you want olives on it? I'm sorry. You want mustard on it? Okay, there you go.
Thank you so much, Olive. Dude, what is Benjamin doing in the back corner? He's smoking a cigarette secretly. Okay, so those jokes aren't funny with the five.
Thank you.
Hey, Zomar, appreciate that. Did somebody just slip already? I thought I just heard somebody die. Oh, what you want? Okay, four hours team with a slide pass. I got you right here. Thank you so much Okay, we're good Wow the day just started and somebody already almost drowned you gotta be kidding me there is no way Thank you so much Malachi. I appreciate that. What's good Liana?
Okay, six hours senior with a slide pass. I got you right here, thank you. I'm gonna read the bits, give me a minute. What's good Banks? Where's all the money at, get it? Cause you're a bank?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm sorry, thank you. How's your name banks and you ain't man whatever yo, what's good jameer? Uh, uh six hours adult with a slide pass Got you right here. Thank you so much. Appreciate that. Are we good? Is everybody? Okay. Oh, no Red alert we have a customer that has entered the brain eating amoeba section of the park. What's good? Miranda? Senior four hours. No slide pass. I got you right here, she's dead. What's good, T.O.? Four hours, senior, no slide pass.
Got you right here. Beautiful scenes at the Goob Lagoon. She's taking a risk getting a brain eating amoeba.
She is.
Waited too long for a lemonade! Why'd you say you wanted lemonade? What's good? You want a lemonade with lemon in it? Well, that's a that's a given bud. There you go. Thank you. What's good? You want both on that hot dog? Dookie thank you so much. What's the bits? Uh, hear me out amoeba. You think that's a good idea? Hey, what's good? You want mustard on that thing?
I got you right here. Thank you so much Hey, oh, hey, what's good? What's good mercy, please have mercy with the lawsuit when you get injured in here. Thank you so much Teen no slide pass. I got you right here. What's up with nobody getting slide passes? Yeah, what's good Isabelle four hours teen with a slide pass I got you right here Isabelle Thank you so much y'all liking the brain-eating amoeba sanction. I hope so All right Hey, what's good Griffin six hours teen with a slide pass
My weight on a lemonade Lord have mercy to try a stank it Oh My god I'm gonna try to strike it. Go me. Oh my God. Plain, plain hot dog. Plain hot dog, please take it. These have been sitting out for like eight hours.
It is what it is. Lemonade, add lemon. I got you right here. Thank you so much, Mercy. Pre-sake that, I gotta get that picked up.
Hold on, give me a minute.
I'm stressed, oh my god! There's too much going on. I gotta hire, I gotta, I gotta, I'm getting rid of Benjamin. Chat, I'm getting rid of Benjamin, he don't do nothing for me. Okay, Harlow, where's Jack at?
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Thank you.
What's good, Emberlin? Four adult, no sly pass. I got you. Chat, we're suffering from success right now. There's too many customers, too much to manage our spots. I need to sweep up, people gonna get hit.
Six hours adult with a sly pass. Somebody's waiting on a lemonade. Lord have mercy.
Hold on.
Task? adult with a slide pass. Somebody's waiting on a lemonade. Lord have mercy. Hold on. Task. Oh yeah, I got a, yeah, I got a, yeah. Hazel, eight hours with a slide pass, senior. There you go. Thank you so much, Hazel. Appreciate that.
What's good, Gunner? Don't shoot me, big dog.
Ha ha ha.
Thanks for choosing the Goob lagoon for real I really appreciate that. Thank you Appreciate you. Lord have mercy somebody waited too long for a hot dog. You gotta be fifth to me You just want a regular lemonade. I can do that for you. Thank you so much. You want a plain hot dog base. Thank you Yo pros killer with the five. Thank you do your task. I can't I'm checking dudes out For hours adult no slide pass boom right here. Thank you. What's good Raymond? It does everybody hate you For hours adult what is happening? Are y'all? Okay. Why is there people hitting the ground over there? Wait
Okay, we're good, okay. Yep Are y'all okay? Why is there people hitting the ground over there? Wait.
Okay, we're good. Okay, yep. Got you right here, thank you. Okay, let me get this. Wait, wait, there's people slipping all over the place. Y'all like the slides up? Somebody's staying, oh!
Well, there goes my ACL, GG. Lord have mercy, Gunner's drowning. Oh my God! Sir! Ugh! How don't I get you with the hot dog?
What you want, plain hot dog? Boom, got you right there, thank you so much. I gotta take the trash out, oh my God. Kobe! There we go. Kobe! I'm so stressed, so stressed I gotta hire some actual what has Benjamin
been doing the whole time in this same corner I'm so sorry you haven't promised to shrouding this we got somebody drop I can't I can't do this on my own somebody's panicking on the diving There's people too- UGH! I can't do this on my own. Somebody's panicking on the diving board. Sir, we really don't have time for this. Get in the pool! Excuse me, I did not mean to run you over. I'm so sorry. You want one with mustard? Got you right here with mustard. What you want, lemonade? With just some lemon action.
Okay, I can do that for you. That dude just died. I'm gonna pass out, oh my God. There's too much going on. Please. Cody! I gotta hire some help, chat. I really gotta hire some help.
Bad.
There you go. You like that?
Hey, y'all having fun?
Yay, celebrate!
Yay, water!
Water! celebrate water I'm gonna lose everything. Thirsty guests equals easy money. Sometimes guests get thirsty fast and nothing hits the spot like a cold cup of lemonade. I have that already, thank you.
I hope y'all having fun.
Here we go. Sell 10 lemonades.
Let me go sell a lemonade.
I got a lemonade.
I got a lemonade. I got a lemonade. I got a lemonade. I got a lemonade. I got a mop up so much. Oh my goodness. Hey, lemonade with ice and lemon. I got you right here. Thank you. What you want?
Hot dog with ketchup on it. Hot dog with ketchup. Thank you. There's people waiting for tickets.
Oh man. Eight people just left.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Six hours senior with a slide pass. There's people waiting for tickets. Oh man, eight people just left.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Six hours senior with a slide pass.
I got you right here, thank you.
What, what happened? Did I not?
Oh, I'm so sorry. Since you wanna give me a thumbs down, guess what? Loser, come do something about it. You ain't gonna do nothing. Okay, you gave the wrong, yeah, okay. Hot dog. do nothing okay you gave the wrong yeah okay hot dog okay hot dog you want one with ketchup
hot dog with ketchup thank you so much you want a lemonade lemonade with ice who the said it's boring enjoy your lemonade get out of my face are you so bored loser hey four hours team with a slide pass. Thank you so much. Yo, Pedestrian Prince with the 10, thank you. Hey, what's good, Ember?
Four hours, senior with a slide pass. Keith waiting on a hot dog. Why y'all so hungry and thirsty? Somebody took a dookie by the lemonade stand. What's broken? Somebody broke a chair.
I'm about to pass out.
Ah. Ah. Ah.
Where is Benjamin at? Chat, where is Benjamin? No slide pass, thank you. You have a good one now, thank you so much. What's good, Aria? Four senior with a slide pass.
Thank you, Aria, have a good one. Benjamin, oh my God, he's still in the corner! Six senior with a slide pass. Thank you, I gotta go mop, I gotta go mop. Braylon, six hours senior with a slide pass. Thank you, I gotta go mop, I gotta go mop. Braylon, six hours adult with a slide pass. There you go, Braylon, thank you.
Somebody wants another lemonade. We need more lemonade. Oh my goodness, Lord have mercy. Hey, lemonade with ice in it. There's your lemonade with ice. I'm so sorry about the trash smell. I'm so sorry. Oh
Hey key, you want a lemonade with lemon? I gotta be right back with the limit Shut it down shut it down at this point the health department needs to just come shut me down. I'm serious Welcome to somebody's drowning what You blocked it midair! You just committed a murder, Braylon!
I gotta steal these
lemonades, Lord have mercy. Let me out of this pool, please let me out of the pool. Did somebody just throw up? Did somebody just puke? What is, there is cups floating in the pools? There is garbage!
Oh! Plain hot dog, thank you so much. Somebody took a fresh dump. Hey, plain hot dog. I got you right here, thank you so much. I'm gonna do some mopping, what you want?
Sir, that's kinda nasty, I'm not gonna lie, that's kind of nasty. Lemonade with lemon. There you go, thank you so much. I'm so sorry about the stain, y'all, I'm gonna get it cleaned up. Y'all just gonna have to bear with me, okay? What you want, you want a hot dog with ketchup? I'm gonna be right back.
Welcome to Kmart.
Thank you.
L boss. What do you mean L boss? I am doing the best I possibly can right now. There we go. Y'all okay. Y'all y'all.
All right. Are you is everybody? Okay, Kobe. Trash. Okay, let me get out of here. There we go y'all okay y'all y'all alright, is everybody okay? Kobe Trash okay, let me get out of here. Thank you so much Hey chat, we're at $1,200 though chat y'all proud of that $1,200 what's this thing We have to make a change. And you want to know what change that we're about to make?
Benjamin worked here for two days, chat. Benjamin! It is over! It's the brain-eating amoeba zone for real. Benjamin, this was the busiest day in Goob Lagoon history and you spent the entire shift in this corner doing this the entire time and you left me all on my own. own well guess what Benjamin you are fired
this was supposed to be the best day in goob lagoon history chat This was supposed to be a generational day in goob lagoon and we literally probably had 15 20 injuries
People complaining they was bored for some reason people was was taking dumps like animals, just out in the open. Oh my goodness. Goodbye Benjamin. Chat, goodbye Benjamin.
The brain eating amoeba place can be called the simpleton swamp. Yeah, cause you gotta be a simpleton to go over there. Everything's broken? Hmm, I wonder why.
Huh.
Probably because my maintenance man was doing nothing but smoking cigarettes, pretending to work all day. Chat, should we, chat, should we hire, this is so nasty. That is so gross gross it is honestly insane
chat should we hire a cashier be honest I think we should I think we need to hire a cashier no joke a cleaner a cleaner, a janitor would help so much. Okay, let me pick up this trash real quick. I'm so, chat, that was the most stressful experience maybe of my entire life. The Goob Lagoon is probably gonna get hit
with 20 new lawsuits. That was bad. There's just, there's cans floating in the pool. Do y'all realize how nasty that is, chat? There's taking dumps. I mean, big dog, the toilet's right there.
You couldn't make it?
Okay.
There we go, yep.
The cashier will cut your stress in half. How much is the cashier gonna cost us though, Chad? Is it gonna cost us a lot? So the main thing that y'all think we need to do right now is cashier, yeah Get posters from Kmart. Wait, what is uh, what are the posters do? Yay new research point
Yeah, janitor would be huge, no joke, it would be. Hold on, we gotta get everything repaired because, you know, because L. Benjamin, by the way, Jack, can I get a L. Benjamin, L. Benjamin, for real? No, I think we have to be park level two to hire a janitor, which is bad.
There we go. Yo, Benji, you're gonna have to stick to selling drugs and schedule one bud cuz work at the waterpark wasn't for you. He worked here for two days and one of the days he didn't do anything the entire day. He sat in that corner back there. Can you get a better hammer? Out of everything that's happening, you're worried about my hammer. Buddy, we're on the verge of losing the whole business. This is bad. Should we get more toilets you think? We should lowkey get more toilets, no joke.
And better ones, because we literally have outhouses. This place is such a health risk, it's insane. When you actually think about how this place is rented, it's such a health risk. I think we're going to hire a cashier, type 1 if you agree. I do Let's hope he doesn't have the line backed up
Yeah, we're gonna invest in a cashier low-key we should invest in a good cashier on top of it like you shouldn't cheap out
We low-key need to employees chat, this is so much to keep up with Okay.
We low-key need two employees, Chad. This is so much to keep up with. There we go. Everything's almost repaired. There we go. Beautiful.
Repair this. We're about to get another research point.
There we- I'm gonna go ahead and get this. I'm gonna go ahead and get this. I'm gonna go ahead and get this.
Brain eating Amoeba Zone.
Brain eating Amoeba Zone.
The Amoeba Aquatic Adventure.
The Amoeba Aquatic Adventure.
So chat, what do y'all think our main problem is right now? So chat, what do y'all think our main problem is right now? Like main problem. What is our main issue? Ban anybody that said you. We're good on lemon lemonade and hot dogs. Everything is repaired and cleaned.
Oh my goodness. Atlas is only $187 a day Efficiency rating of 78.9
194 endurance
Wait He's literally better in every way than Yosef. Why would you ever get Yosef? Why He's better than both of them. Otter nipples with the five. Ladies and gentlemen, let's all get a warm round of applause to the goob lagoon's Second employee, but really the first employee because you know We fired our other guy
Ladies and gentlemen, I was here Welcome aboard Atlas to the team hard worker for little to no pay
Never mind
He literally quit as soon as he got here Are you good? Atlas just man the post! Okay look, we need other stuff too. We should add more to the brain-eating amoeba zone, right? First off, let's go to the research table real quick and see what we can get. Maintenance decorations, level one,
we're getting that all day. Basic toilets all day. Oh my goodness. Oh goodness huge huge huge oh oh man okay life ring stand unlock a stand with inflatable life rings to assist in quicker rescues. Yes, walk movement speed. Attraction decorations level one.
Should we grab that too real quick or save? Save. Let's see what else we can add right here.
Hold up.
Oh my goodness. Look at this. Life ring stand right there. Let's put one. I'm going to wait because I got to improve that over there.
Decorations.
Oh, look at the flower pop. A fountain? We need a fountain zone. Oh my goodness, it's about to set us off. Oh my goodness, this is it. This is the game breaking play that we needed.
We need a fountain zone. Bathrooms.
You're right. We need more bathrooms you're right that is such a cozy spot for a bathroom that's almost unbelievable okay we got to save up for more okay chat we really we really need why does Atlas what is Atlas doing okay chat are y'all ready for us to open up again? Yeah, I can't get a Jenner right now, I gotta be store level two. Thank you though, Looney, appreciate that. That's crazy, Looney, I appreciate y'all look at it.
Y'all ready, chat? New and improved Goob Lagoon again. Benjamin's locked in, I mean, RIP. Atlas is locked in.
Okay.
We have two more bathrooms added. We have a life ring stand. Most importantly right now, we have help. Atlas look here, Goob Lagoon has never been busier than it is now. You understand me? I need you to be locked in. I better not see more than three people in a line at any given time. You understand me Atlas? let's go, Bubba. This is your debut shift. Good luck, Atlas. Atlas, hey, this ain't gonna be no joke.
This is like Black Friday, buddy. They're gonna be kicking the door down trying to get in here.
Some flyers.
Ladies and gentlemen, the new and improved Goob Lagoon is open yet again for another beautiful day in the summer heat. We hope y'all enjoy.
Thank y'all so much. I'm gonna go to the right. Uh huh. Uh huh. Oh no. Hang on, excuse me. You good now? Okay, you're good. Thank you.
Chat, how many seconds is that per customer? Lord have mercy, Atlas. Look at all of the people. This looks like a Chick-fil-A drive-thru. Hurry up. Atlas, oh no all of the people. This looks like a Chick-fil-A drive-thru, hurry up! Atlas, oh no.
Yo, Shifty with the five, thank you. Benjamin from Goob Lagoon said, "'Hey boss, can I have my job back?' Sir, you're not supposed to go down head first backwards. You're lucky, sir, you're so lucky. You could really get
injured doing that but I appreciate you being here either way there's no customers there's no customers Lord have mercy there's no customers this is this is unbelievable I mean Lord have mercy move I mean move I mean dude We need customers in here atlas I'm firing them. I'm firing them. I'm a fire Lemonade with ice. I got you right here. Thank you so much lemonade with ice. Thank you There's no way dude dude dude atlas i'm so serious. Do you you need an Atlas to figure out how to do this?
Bubba, what is taking so long? Is this why you don't cost no money? Is this it? I'm sitting here doing his job for him. Are you, and I'm paying this guy. I'm about to cry, I'm about to cry, Chad, I'm about to cry.
Get out, get out of the way. Nevermind, you got it.
Hold on, Isabel.
There you go, I got you, Isabel, thank you. You're so impatient. Hey, hey, Bubba. This place is more busy than a Chick-fil-A on a Friday night. I cannot afford my one and only cashier to take 20 seconds per checkout. Hey, lemonade, add lemon.
I got you right there. Thank you so much. You have a good now.
Hey, sir, how you doing? Adlimon I got you right there. Thank you so much. You have a good now
Hey, sir, how you doing four hours teen with a slide pass got you right there. Thank you so much Hey go somewhere Atlas
Hey, how you doing, Jude? Okay, eight hours senior with a slide pass got you right here. Thank you so much
Hey Alex. Hey Alexandria. How you doing four hours?
Adult with a slide pass. Thank you. Thank you so much
Appreciate you. What's good banks? How you how you doing banks for hours team with a slide pass? There you go. You better get your act together. You understand me? Look at the light!
Sorry about the stain. Okay, we're good.
Let me clean up a little bit. Get everything cleaned up. We're good. There you go. You're good. Let me get these spots mopped up.
Yep.
Arm bands. Oh, let me check for arm bands. You good?
Okay.
How you doing? You doing okay? Excuse me. Be careful, don't get yourself. You ready, Harlow? Three, two, that dumb fool.
Holding everybody else up. What's wrong with you? Okay, hey, sorry about the spots, y'all. Wait. Chad, this is low key running smoother than it was before stop Stop playing
And both there you go what you won't big doll Lemonade with a lemon got you right there. Thank you. What you won't add both again. There you go chat Chat, is it not is it not looking better? be honest clean that trash up real quick, Toby Low jumper is dirty. What is that? Yes There's an intruder hold up I got a check for we need more staff chat a pretty poor staff
Hey, how you doing? Harlow? Don't go don't go scared on the diving board again. You understand me ice and lemon I got you right there. Thank you so much You want both on this hot dog? Yes, sir Hey, what's good? Catalina you won't catch up on that. I got you right here. Thank you so much Get a faster cashier. What does the line look like chat? What's good Julius add ketchup?
Boom got you right there with the ketchup somebody over here stankin on the trash Yo, Catalina, here's what I need you to do right I need you to go into Okay, we're okay there's some spots or some stains excuse me, I'm gonna get this mopped up for y'all. Excuse me, thank you. You saw me sitting, get in the pool. Stop, you're doing it on purpose.
Okay, more lemonade. More lemonade. Hey, hey, how y'all doing? Lemonade with ice, yep. I got you right here. Look at that ice. What, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yep, it is.
Okay, thank you. Appreciate that, Julius. How you doing, Isabel? Oh, you want lemonade with a lemon. Got you right here.
Lemonade with a lemon.
This is awesome. See, at least somebody's having fun. You know what I'm talking about Atlas. Keep it up bud. W Atlas. Chat W Atlas.
Let's go. Why is nobody in the brain eating amoeba zone? Ladies and gentlemen, customers of, I just saw you litter. I just saw you litter. Okay. Somebody wants a hot dog hold up excuse me, sorry about the stain let me get that stain I'm so I'm so I'm so
sorry Sorry about this y'all sorry about this. Okay, y'all good everybody everybody. Okay, good to know. Thank y'all
We get this trash cleaned up real quick. Tell me Chad I'm locking on the throws Sorry about this. Okay, y'all good? Everybody okay? Good to know, thank y'all.
Let me get this trash cleaned up real quick. Kobe! Chad, I'm locking on the throes. Hey, hey, hey, what's good, Fletcher? You want a plain hot dog? Got you right here, Fletcher.
Thank you so much. There you go, what's happening? What is happening? Okay, let me get this mopped up. Let me get this trash picked up too. I need more hot dogs. Is the shower water getting the lemonade?
Nah, nah it's good. Nah, it's all right. Nice good Nice I
Yo, yo Raymond you are the first person today to enter the brain-eating amoeba death zone
Okay, he's gone. Never mind. I Gotta go get more hot dogs. Yo, yo, Alice, I'll be right back. Okay Where am I getting my hot dogs from welcome to Kmart? Here we go hot dogs. Thank you so much. I'll be right back, okay? Where am I getting my hot dogs from? Welcome to Kmart.
Here we go, hot dogs. Thank you so much, I'll be back. Keith is waiting for a hot dog. I got you right here, Keith, hang on.
Oh my God. Hold on! Here!
That was the most horrifying noise I've ever heard in my life.
Okay. That was the most horrifying noise I've ever heard in my life. Okay, plain hot dog. Got you right there, Keith.
Thank you. Oh my. Please be careful with the spots. I'm going to get them cleaned up. Please be careful, y'all. Please.
Thank you. Lemonade with a lemon. Got you right there.
Hey, what's good, Raymond?
You came back from the brain-eating amoeba death zone? Lemonade with a lemon, got you right there. Hey, what's good, Raymond? You came back from the brain-eating amoeba death zone? Just a regular lemonade, got you right there. Let me get this mopped up. Excuse me, excuse me, cleanness. Cleanness, Ted, this is okay, right?
Atlas is tired? He ain't tired! Why would Atlas is tired? He ain't tired. Why would he be tired? I guess just waiting to buy a ticket. What are you doing? Are you kidding?
Oh, nah. Oh, nah. You gotta be kidding me. Oh, you feeling tired, Atlas? You feeling tired? Oh, you feeling tired Atlas?
Hey Atlas, wake up! Wake up buddy!
Get back to work! Somebody waited too long for a hotdog because my employee was not doing their job
You won't catch up there you go, thank you so much as a bill the trash is piling up
Chat type one if this is running better than yesterday. Oh this pool so nasty
So there we go getting all the trash picked up. We are good here. People are dying
Kobe, there we go. Mop this up, everything is okay, yep. There we go, hope y'all are, watch that stain! Watch that stain, ma'am!
Ma'am, excuse me.
Okay, you're screaming, you're making a big deal over nothing. You really just made a big deal over nothing. You know what, I'm not standing for that, actually. Hold on, no, I'm not getting disrespected like that. You're screaming like I did something horrible. KEEP SCREAMING HAZEL!
DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK TO THE- DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK TO THE GOOBLAGOO! Don't you ever come back to the... Don't you ever come back to the gooblygoo! How we doing y'all? Everybody going good? Everything going good? Okay, you wanna eliminate?
Hey, eliminate with ice. Thank you so much. Eliminate with ice. You enjoy that. Here we go. Yes.
The throws, excuse me. Y'all gotta watch out for these puddles. Why is there a body?
Why is there a pile of bodies?
You see, you see everybody else slipping on this and y'all still gonna come over here and walk? The website is awful, I will see you in court. It was worse than before. What are the reviews like are the reviews actually bad thank you what you want playing don't tell me the reviews are actually bad.
I'm gonna check it right after- Keith. Keith.
Keith, breathe buddy, breathe! There you go! Everybody having a good day at the goob lagoon? I really hope so. Y'all, we really put a lot of work into this place. And I really appreciate everybody for being here today. We put a lot of work into this and thank you.
Somebody's panicking on the- aww, Griffin. Oh, okay, we're good. Hey, look here though. 64% satisfaction rate. Only 44 visitors slipped today. 62 of them had fun. 57 visitors had a used clean attraction thought.
Only what? Yeah, only 44 visitors slipped! That's... that's... that... Griffin. Buddy, the park's closed. Griffin. Bubba. We're closed!
Griffin. We are closed. Get out, Griffin.
Let me check.
Lord have mercy though. Dude, Chad, I'm telling'all the reviews better not be bad The website won't even load Did y'all crash the website I Can't even get into gooblagoon.com.
Yeah, Chad, I can't get into gooblagoon.com. Website's down.
All right.
Okay. Websites down Okay chat scale of 1 to 10 how good was that compared to the day before
Only 44 people slipped. I know y'all are like, what do you mean only? I mean only 44 people slipped. This place is usually a death zone, but it's not bad right now. But I will say this, Atlas is a little weird. You know what I mean? He doesn't do his job that well, but I can say this, Atlas took a lot of stress off of me.
Be real chat, y'all can acknowledge that too. Atlas took a lot of stress away. I didn't have to constantly worry about being up front. Yeah, there were some times where I had to go up and do his job for him, you know what I mean? But that's just, that's part of it.
You know? up and do his job for him you know what I mean but that's just that's part of it you know
and that one lady that came up in here was complaining and stuff maybe I took it a little too far did I take it a little too far maybe I didn't but you know it's's I It's okay
Chat what is next we need to get
Build five loungers with at least one prestige
Wait, what does that mean? Does that mean the next level loungers?
Yo, kayla's with the 50 gift. Yo w kayla's with the 50 gift and yo W Kayla's with the 50 gifted Chat W Kayla's with the 50 for a lot. Appreciate that Kayla's. Thank you. Kayla's W Kayla's Restart I got a restock to eliminate to Chat I'm trying my best y'all know I'm trying my best out here. Okay, there we go. Let's go repair the brain eating amoeba zone. Oh my goodness. As soon as we hit two stars we're getting a janitor. Y'all understand me? As soon, I'm talking the second that we hit two star establishment, we are getting a janitor. And we also need a maintenance man who actually wants to work.
There we go. We're good. Getting everything repaired. Wait, should I put some of the new loungers over here or should I just go ahead put them right here I'm gonna put them right here just for right now. Hang on. Are these the basic loungers? One, no. One, two, three, four, five. Wait, yes. Yes, we're 1.5 star now. I think.
1.5, that's points, we immediately get. We're putting decorations in. We're putting decorations in, period.
Period. Huge.
Chat huge, what does this bring us up to? We're actually gonna get level two right now. My goodness, I am so happy. Do you understand? What else would go good around here? Would this go good like up here maybe?
Chat, y'all mess with this like up here?
Bro, move it!
Wait.
Boom, right there. Okay. Fountain zone, fountain zone. Chat, fountain zone? Y'all wanna do a fountain zone? Y'ALL DON'T DO A FOUNTAIN ZONE? Wait, oh my goodness, that sets it off. Stop it. Ladies and gentlemen, we are opening up a Goob Lagoon trademarked Wait, the fountains are only going to pool, really?
Fountain? Let's put two in here.
Bop, bop.
Put one in here.
Bop.
Put one in here. How much did that do? Let's see. It's beautiful! Oh my goodness, it's beautiful. Oh man. We're both in the water.
I'm not even gonna lie. I'm not even gonna lie. I'm not even gonna lie.
I'm not even gonna lie. Oh man, we're about to move the showers. New showers, yeah? Showers here.
Bop. Bop. Bop.
Bop. Bop. Bop. Bop. Bop. Bop. One more decoration, yeah. Stop wasting. If you think this is a You are a disgusting person. We needed this. That's a whole lot better. Wait, that's actually, oh my goodness, that's so clean I'm about to cry. Oh my goodness, that's so clean. That is like disgustingly clean I can't believe how clean it is
Hey, I have I have no I have no I have no paint Or I have nothing to paint chat. Do we get rid of old showers? Yeah, I
Think we get rid of all showers I really do
We have no use for them anymore. I
You think the showers is what's creating a lot of this like like the the waters?
Should I get rid of old bathrooms, too
Chad do I get rid of these two what would would I put right here though? More loungers?
More loungers here? No.
No.
Goob Lagoon certified chill zone. You need to catch a vibe? Come to the chill zone. Come to the chill zone.
Come to the chill zone. Come to the chill zone. Chill Zone. You need to catch a vibe? Come to the Chill Zone. You'll never go wrong at the Chill Zone. At the Chill Zone, the vibes are always right. That is the most chill thing I've ever seen! Yeah! Wait, we're two stars! Wait, we're two stars! Chat, look at the chill zone, that is so chill. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, we finally, finally, finally can hire a janitor.
I was here. Oh dude, look at all this. We have so much. Oh my goodness. We have so much stuff we're going to be able to do now. Bruh!
Vendor staff, vendors who sell food and drinks. Oh my goodness.
Janitor staff. Finally, finally, finally.
Improves building durability to minimize maintenance. That is an absolute must have right there. Sunshine with the five, thank you.
Park.
Chat, oh my goodness, look.
Look.
Johnny? 318 a day? Get hiring level two.
Why?
Wait, I can only have one person working here at a time? Oh, we gotta save up another point now. Why didn't y'all tell me? Oh no I need one more point. We're good. Yo Atlas with the five thank you.
Chat look at this. Chat look at this. I was here. Who are we getting? Johnny is 288 a day 77% efficiency to movement speed 173
Wait what
Bro, Griffin is so much less money and is literally almost the exact same stats.
Oh my! Griffin. Do level two, what do you mean?
Get level two, did I not get it? Oh I didn't get it. Chad. No, no, no, they're gone. Wait 186 a day, that's horrible. Atreus, that's Dadgum Kratos' son. He fell off, golly, dude fell off.
Bro fell off bad. How you Kratos' son you put in an application for the goobly goo. Refresh those. Oh, I can't. Oh my goodness, 107% efficiency. He's expensive, but I think we do forward. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome on the goop lagoon. Second ever employee.
Not enough money. That's okay. You know why that's okay? Because next step is to get rid of the goop lagoon. And I'm going to do that. I'm going to get rid of the goop lagoon second ever employee, not enough money.
That's okay. You know why that's okay? Because next episode, we're hiring our second employee, chat. This episode was absolutely insane. Not gonna lie. We did so much this episode.
I feel like we're doing so much every episode now. That was chat. Next episode gonna be crazy, too We gonna hire another person. We're gonna do a whole bunch of other stuff now that we unlocked everything. Yo W episode great stream chat. I love y'all man. Hey Appreciate y'all for kicking it with your boy again tonight
Appreciate y'all for kicking it with your boy again tonight Precept all the gifted subs don't know as bits follows and of course, I'll pre-start off with us hanging out Hey, y'all have a good rest. Y'all's night and have a good day tomorrow. See y'all tomorrow. Ladies and gentlemen, alright, peace out y'all
Get ultra fast and accurate AI transcription with Cockatoo
Get started free β
